You Were Born Into Jew Hell – THE SECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION

 

106° degrees today. It’s supposed to cool off to 100° tomorrow. Yay.

In respect for the strong recommendations of our fearless government, I fashioned a mask to wear when I go out (which is every day, since work has not slowed down). I apparently upset the bouncer guarding the door at Trader Joe’s, who was there to insure that instead of dying from Wuhan, we’d all die of heatstroke waiting outside. He was not amused that my mask was made from two rubber bands and a sanitary napkin. I pointed out, to no avail, that it wasn’t a used one. They really do a shit job of hiring friendly bouncers.

Anyway, let’s look at today’s birthdays first, comme m’habitude. They include a famous horsewoman; the patron saint of Zionism; Francisco d’Anconia’s spirit animal; the family member who DID have emotion; a guy who actually could out-drink Spud and me; and a guy who really sucked.

Oh yes, news.

 

There is literally nothing you can do that doesn’t make you a shitlord. Of course the writer’s name is Caren.

 

Eat a bag of dicks, Tony.

 

When you see Californians protesting against government overreach, you know it’s gone too far. And of course, Ted Lieu never misses an opportunity to beclown himself.

 

I hope they have lampposts and woodchippers in New Mexico.

 

I have a simple solution for this.

 

World’s smallest violin. A lesbian violin.

 

“Dear Penthouse Letters, I always thought these letters were made up, but let me tell you what happened to me…”

 

Old Guy Music is a can’t-miss. I mean, Billy Strings, holy shit. If you don’t love this, you’re dead inside.