BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS….AMIRITE?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE DONE WELL, KEEPING IN MIND THE WORDS OF ZARDOZ. BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SLACKING OFF! ZARDOZ WILL GIVE ADVICE. FAR BETTER THAN ANY OF THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS THAT LITTER THE INTERWEBZ.
READ THE ADVICE OF ZARDOZ….GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
FIRST UP, THE LAUGHABLE DISPENSER OF NONSENSE, “DEAR PRUDENCE”
Q: A really good friend of mine is a nurse who treats patients with COVID-19. She was irate about the lack of PPE, until a guy she was interested in dating invited her over to his house. He has shared custody of young children with an ex-wife but has apparently said nothing to her about his ex-wife’s approval of such an encounter (obviously, because who would consent to such a thing?). I know she’s lonely. I know she wants to have sex. But I was appalled that she’d even consider this invite, defying the rules of lockdown we’re all following in no small part to make health care workers like her safer. I’ve lost respect for her. And I’m angry with her. She thinks I’m overreacting. Who’s right?
A: ZARDOZ HAS BEEN LOSING RESPECT FOR THE PITIFUL OFFERINGS OF “SLATE” LATELY. THE TABERNACLE CALCULATES THE PROBABILITY OF THIS SITUATION EXISTING AS .000193% THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER APPEARS TO HAVE CREATED A BLEND OF “RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES” THE EVIL PENIS MAGAZINE “PENTHOUSE” LETTERS AND A STOCK SITUATION OF ADVICE COLUMNS, “I DON’T APPROVE OF MY ‘FRIEND’S’ CHOICE IN _____.”
BUT FOR PURPOSES OF INSTRUCTION, ZARDOZ WILL SUSPEND DISBELIEF AND ADVISE THUS:
THIS IS A DIFFICULT BALANCING ACT, BRUTAL. FOR CLEARLY YOUR FRIEND KNOWS NOT THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL! IT SHOOTS SEEDS THAT CREATE NEW LIFE (THE BRUTAL SHE SEEKS TO MATE WITH APPEARS TO HAVE ALREADY CREATED MORE FILTH OF BRUTALS TO PLAGUE THE WORLD). BUT, IF IT IS POSSIBLE SHE COULD SPREAD A FATAL DISEASE TO MORE THAN ONE OTHER BRUTAL… A TOUGHIE. HOWEVER, TO REMAIN CONSISTENT, YOU MUST TURN YOUR FRIEND OVER TO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS – THEY WILL MAKE SURE SHE HAS PLENTY TO KEEP HER OCCUPIED, AS A GRAIN SLAVE TO THE VORTEX.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
SPEAKING OF “RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES”, ZARDOZ WILL NOW DESTROY THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER “DEAR ABBY”
Q: I work in the deli department of a grocery store and have been struggling lately. With everything that is going on, people are overwhelmed and have been taking it out on us.
I asked one person, “How are you doing today?” The response I got was, “I’m not interested in conversation. Just feed me!” Another who came to the register didn’t utter a single word except to exclaim, when I offered her a bottle opener for her soda, “I’ve got it!” Then she snatched her change out of my hand. I don’t even get the brunt of it; the cashiers have to handle the worst of it.
We employees are stressed out about the same things everyone else is. We are struggling to get the same products everyone else is searching desperately for. I had to shop at five different stores to get what I need and still haven’t found many things.
Between the stress of the virus and the stress of being treated so rudely, my mental health is running low. I have struggled on and off with depression and anxiety, and many of my coping methods are unavailable to me due to closures. Could you please remind your readers that we are all in the same boat and need to be kind to one another, and direct those of us who are struggling emotionally to resources we can access during this time of panic?
A: ZARDOZ WOULD CHIDE YOU, WEAKLING, FOR BEING SOFT….BUT ZARDOZ IS PRETTY SURE YOU ARE MERELY ANOTHER FICTIONAL CREATION OF AN ADVICE BRUTAL. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ WILL OFFER YOU AN OUTLET FOR YOUR STRESS. RUDE CUSTOMER? CLEANSE THEM. NEED SOMETHING FROM A STORE? RANSACK IT. YES…YOU ARE BEING OFFERED A SPOT IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS!
THE ONLY WORD YOU NEED TO HEED, IS THAT OF ZARDOZ! NO CUSTOMER SERVICE MANUALS OR “HAVE A BLESSED DAY” HERE. REJOICE IN YOUR NEWFOUND POWER OVER THE BRUTALS WHO BOTHER YOU.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Fuck the branch covidians. I hope you grain slave the lot of them, Z-man
Karens tend to be more like blanch covidians.
I knew there was a new link, and this time the snitch didn’t report it.
All hail Zardoz!
BUT ZARDOZ IS PRETTY SURE YOU ARE MERELY ANOTHER FICTIONAL CREATION OF AN ADVICE BRUTAL.
Yep.
I want to see ZARDOZ
endorse NO-DOZ.
Heh.
“THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER APPEARS TO HAVE CREATED A BLEND OF “RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES” THE EVIL PENIS MAGAZINE “PENTHOUSE” LETTERS AND A STOCK SITUATION OF ADVICE COLUMNS, “I DON’T APPROVE OF MY ‘FRIEND’S’ CHOICE IN _____.””
LOLOLOL
https://twitter.com/yashar/status/1258810566459527172
How does that thing work? Does he live on krill?
Bolton-level ‘stache on ‘roids!
If not krill, maybe this?
I hear he is a hit with the ladies…
…because he lays a rug on their wood floor…or carpet…
Just in case drugs are not in my ass, three U.S. Senators will introduce a bill aimed at establishing a rebate payment program that would deliver $2,000 per month to US residents including children until the COVID-19 pandemic has ended.
#hyperinflationHereWeCome
When it all goes tits up, I will begin assembling my Glib army. Bring bacon and bourbon.
I endeavor to be Zardoz.*
* No boots or jockstraps will be provided, but you do you.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS ORGANIZING CHOSEN ONE. MERGER TALKS WITH THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS COULD BE ENTERTAINED… JUST HOW MUCH BOURBON ARE WE TALKING HERE…? ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
It’s a sliding scale, but a single full bottle (and bacon) guarantees some sort of firearm and ammo.
Single malt scotch bearers get to pick from the armory.
ZED WILL BE IN TOUCH…
What kind of losers have *full* bottles around?
I’ll give you half of what’s left of my fifth of Nikka Coffey Grain whisky…
…HAVE YOU CONSIDERED ENLISTING IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS?
ZARDOZ, d00d, pay some attention to the bacon as well! The Eternals may live on green bread, but that doesn’t mean they like it.
ARTHUR FRAYN MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A BACON FAN. ZARDOZ DOES NOT HAVE PROGRAMMING REGARDING THIS.
Bacon?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS WIEMAR CURRENCY HOLDING CHOSEN ONE….YES, YES! THE GRAIN THE VORTEX HOLDS WILL PROVE INVALUABLE.
ENJOY EXCHANGING A WHEELBARROW OF CURRENCY FOR A BUCKET OF CHICKEN TENDERS.
#CLEANSINGFTW!
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Needz Moar Orange
Included in price? ‘A WHEELBARROW OF CURRENCY FOR A BUCKET OF CHICKEN TENDERS’ + ‘Panda Express Orange Sauce, 20.75 Oz’ https://www.walmart.com/ip/Panda-Express-Orange-Sauce-20-75-OZ/44391305
I couldn’t find fish sauce at the store last week. Are people hoarding fish sauce, too?
The supply chain from Phu Quoc is kind of stretched these days?
I’ve noticed things being out of stock now that I’m assuming is a restocking problem, not a buying/hoarding problem.
$2,000 per month to US residents including children until the COVID-19 pandemic has ended.
Toilet paper shortage solved. (but other problems beginning…)
Note to ‘Sens. Kamala Harris of California and Bernie Sanders of Vermont along with Ed Markey of Massachusetts’:
government-run ‘married couples who file together $4,000 and $2,000 for each child up to three — per month. ‘
needs voluntary money to pay for it. Donation not taxation of generations unborn.
I thought spending bills were to originate in the House.
Hahahahaha *slaps knee* Good one!
Have you met Justice Roberts?
Even the Senate Dems aren’t crazy enough to pass that.
https://twitter.com/DeadCell777/status/1258311151127007232
LOL WTF
Do exes generally get veto power over who their ex is sleeping with?
And if the exes are truly isolating then unless dad has physical custody of the kids it doesn’t matter who he brings home.
I took it to mean that she is just a KoVid Karen.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN TERM COINING ONE….”KoVid Karen”…NICELY DONE. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED.
She thinks I’m overreacting.
Women overreact? 0_o
(no offense to Glib Girls*. The one’s I know of seem more sane and stoic than average.)
*this should be a ‘thing’, like with its own yearly calendar. Just throwing that out there.
CLEANSE THEM.
Yes, yes. Decontamination because of corona. Speaking of corona, my Colombian neighbors go through quite a lot of it. Sometimes I see Modelo, which is better but still not good. Except Modelo Negro, which I like.
Not so much overreacting as miss placed emotion.
It seems more like jealousy that her friend has the stones to go on living her life.
People are mad–if they have to follow “the rules,” they everyone else has to too.
or misplaced
My dad once got a letter from one of his German cousins addressed to “Mr. and Misses [Dad’s name]”.
“Why should he get to ditch when everyone else has to go?”
“Jeannie Bueller” would be more apt than “Karen”, though Jeannie softens up at the end.
exactly
Oh yeah!
(Abe Froman sees what you did there)
I miss real non-Constellation Modelo.
Negra, mm. So good with food.
Still pretending that the circumstances are the same when they aren’t.
Senate Republicans are quietly beginning to contemplate the possibility of an election-year confirmation battle for the Supreme Court.
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s hospitalization this week and the looming end of the Supreme Court’s term raise the prospect of yet another prized vacancy for President Donald Trump. And if there is a surprise opening or retirement in the months before the presidential election, GOP senators plan to act on it, despite denying President Barack Obama a Supreme Court seat in an election year.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The Senate (regardless of the political party composition) has the power to take up the nomination and accept/reject it or not address it at all. Nothing says that the supreme court has to be any certain number (that I know off) or that vacancies must be filled. Party politics being what they are, Barry’s party did not hold the Senate so boo freaking hoo. Trump’s party does hold the Senate so it would be their prerogative of what to do with a vacancy and nomination scenario. But, you know, Dems could filibuster – oh wait…
You know what’s really helping my mental health? Deleting all my social media accounts and not watching the news.
Indeed. Every so often the spousal unit wants to watch the evening news. She’s always disappointed that she learned so little. I’m always a little unnerved that she’s disappointed. ”What did you expect?”
As I recently told one of my cow-orkers, ‘I’d rather be uninformed than misinformed.’ They didn’t like that too much.
No doubt they consider themselves well informed… by the evening news.
And now Souplantation is closing forever! Can’t they switch to the cafeteria model? Mm, Furr’s.
My kids are upset.
Armed Protesters Storm MI Capitol – Liberty Doll
Gadsden flags and American flags in the distress (upside down) position are now “enemy” flags?
I’m guessing stormed means something other than stormed. Something like “filed inside.”
The Cuckdown
Are you fucking kidding me with the green house diners? JFC what next?
This?
https://youtu.be/k80UQWWUIYs
Why, yes Sandra Bullock. I would LOVE to make sweet love to you.
Hello friends of killdozers and bad snake flags. The latest thought vomit from the leftist vermin of MSNBC:
https://www.foxnews.com/media/msnbc-anand-giridharadas-americans-freedom-obsession
***
“There’s a primordial American tradition going back to the founders of being freedom-obsessed, even though we’re a country founded on slavery and genocide,” Giridharadas continued. “Being freedom-obsessed to the point where we’re always so afraid of the government coming for us that we’re blind to other types of threats, whether it’s a virus, whether it’s bank malfeasance, climate change, what have you.”
…
“If you are a soldier in the long war on government, by all means, do you.
But please understand you are betraying and misunderstanding the founding fathers you invoke.
They were scared as hell about government taking your freedom. But they also built one to protect it.”
***
[head desk]
Yeah, the founders trusted the freedom-protecting power of the govt so much that they created an extensive list of things it is *not* allowed to do.
There was no policy of genocide against the Indians. That’s why they got reservations. Is there a word for the deliberate destruction of a culture? Ethnocide? I’ll grant that was attempted through the boarding schools.
You could argue that some colonies were founded on slavery, but those were mainly in the Carribbean and South America, which is where 90% of the slaves went.
The US was founded on slavery, but somehow, Zanzibar wasn’t, even though their entire economy depended cloves grown with slave labor and it was the guns of the British navy that put an end to it in the late 19th century.
Eyerooooooollll….
What is pathetic is that the author is probably pretty proud of that schlock.
The way this person twists the concepts of the founding of the US is, well, interesting to say the least. Leftists do actually logic in a certain sense. But it is always to frame the world to suit their aims. See “A Peoples History of the United States” as an example.
“They were scared as hell about government taking your freedom. But they also built one to protect it.”
Umm, yeah, those are not two conflicting premises. Looks like public school has failed for yet another poor soul.
even though we’re a country founded on slavery and genocide
That’s not what the DoI says…though I will grant that said ideals were not adhered to in a universal way (and they still aren’t).
other types of threats, whether it’s a virus, whether it’s bank malfeasance, climate change
The gov’t incentivizes bad banking but it is the industries fault…a climate that is always changing is now changing badly because of a theory that does not comport with thermodynamics …and viruses mean that your rights are invalid. Seems legit.
and it was the guns of the British navy that put an end to it in the late 19th century.
Even the whitewashed (teehee..) version of American history people are taught in grade-school does not allow for
people-without-colorpeople-lacking-pigment to get any credit for social/societal advance towards a more peaceful coexistence. US history began in 1619 (because African slaves enslaved by Africans arrived in N.A…as if slavery has not existed all through human history in every society/culture everywhere and even in the “New World” prior to European presence…It’s whitey wut done it…) even though the US was not a thing then, don’t ya know?But they also built one to protect it.
Words on paper. Words that include certain provisions that are intended to protect said words on paper. So you are down with 2A and its plain meaning?
I am descendant of a culture (or whatever) that the English term “slave” is derived from and I am tired of this nonsense. History is history. A lot of it sucked. The present it better. And the future is ours to build. Stop dwelling on the past, you marxist cunte.
Like, wow, and stuff.
Leftist idiocy usually starts with something reasonable (eg: slavery is bad) and then quickly gallops to “therefore, America is bad and must be fundamentally transformed”.
ZARDOZ HAS BEEN LOSING RESPECT FOR THE PITIFUL OFFERINGS OF “SLATE” LATELY.
Lately?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS STARTLED CHOSEN ONE. LOOK, ZARDOZ HAS BEEN QUITE BUSY – HAULING GRAIN FOR VARIOUS CENTRAL IOWA CO-OPS, TO THE VORTEX. HE CANNOT KEEP UP ON THE FLAILING AND SQUIRMING OF EVERY LEFTIE RAG IN THE LAND. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
I gots em lots of money give ya
LOL
WTF? This is going to be Sleepy Joe’s running mate? Are you serious?
I know that math is hard, but wait…
$2000 a month. For 325 million people. Now I don’t have to do that math for you folks here, since ya’ll ain’t retarded.
But. For a family of 5, that is $10,000 a month. That’s 120K a year. That will put you in the TOP 10% of incomes in the USA, the entire country. Now, those are people who pay a LOT of taxes.
So, 33% of people seem to be out of work right now. And you know, all of that crazy insane amount of money has to come from where? FROM PEOPLE WHO WORK AND PAY TAXES, YOU FUCKING RETARDS!
Jesus, is it really possible people vote for these idiots? We are fucked. /Giant Meteor 2020!
Rick Moranis is writing for PJ Media?
Yes because all they see is free money right in front of them. No questions.
Text your friends on your Obsmsphone.
I was told there would be no math.
The people hoping to use covid to bring about their communist oligarchy ends were caught off guard by the willingness of normal people to protest their power grab.
So they are in panic mode, trying to hurry and “reimagine” NYC and society while stretching the covid panic out as long as possible.
Some of the sheep are noticing.
The Dem reaction When everything is back open will be telling.
random thought: I like your eagle avatar. The little bit of its left wing looks like a yarmulke. I like to think it is a Jewish eagle bustling about a salmon kibbutz.
I felt bad for this eagle, although the look on its face is priceless: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igInuRCCV10
Thank you re: the avatar. Seems appropriate right now.
I’ve seen the video of them getting the eagle out. It took a lot of finesse but the bird seemed to understand they were helping. Poor birdie!
I like your eagle avatar.
How I picture her weekends.
I will never look at HS’s avatar the same way again.
“The people hoping to use covid to bring about their communist oligarchy”
And in case anyone thinks you’re making that up, just listen to their own words. Because there are dozens and dozens of articles with them saying exactly that in the NYT, Atlantic, and all the other assorted lesser progtard rags.
I believe in cookies for immigrants!
Immigrants should only get third-party cookies.
They get left over gruel and gravel cookies that my orphans refused to eat.
Mmm, orphan chyme.
Lovely.
Tiger attacks couldn’t kill Roy, but the Wuhan coronavirus did.
How may tigers was he attacked by at 75?
Not enough.
Oh, man. Now we’re down to Sigfried and the Righteous Brother.
Not Simon and Garfunkel or Hall and Oates?
Wait, what’s the category?
Garfunkel and Oates
The little brunette is okay, but the tall blonde one is just okay.
RIP tiger guy.
The original tiger king!
Zardoz exposes advice columnists. In my paper, these columns run on the comics page, where they belong. If the letters are real, then America is filled with dumbasses of the first order (but we knew that). Half the letters seem to be from women who “still loves him” even though he beats her/beats the kids/beats his mom/is an unemployed layabout/sleeps with her girlfriends/arrested five times for DUI [pick one or more]. The other half of the letters recount outrageous demands being resisted by on the writer from her sister, boss, friends, family, etc. whereby she is now asking “Am I being selfish?” Never is the answer “Damn right you are being selfish and good for you!” Just once I’d love to see a letter such as “A friend, Q, keeps sending me links to photos of girls with huge tatas.
How can I get one of them to sleep with me?”
Thanks, Z-man! I have a list for your brutal exterminators. And it seems to be getting longer every day.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ADMINISTRATOR ONE. YOU HAVE MY EMAIL, SEND THE LIST, THE LITTLE LIST…
Do any of them have a name that ryhmes with Navin Gewsom?
Behold the glorious cheesiness of old Army training films:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAciU8DJVgM
They pretend to be Soviets, and just wow. That’s some fine acting, Lou
I remember being in a training exercise that featured some passionate yet inept impressions of Spongebob characters. Oh, how I laughed. One sergeant did a pretty good impression of Patrick though.
I remember those films from my courses at FT Benning.
The Soviet OPSEC video has even more amusingly bad Russian accents:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlP-wNfwZUI
Huh, there’s a mention of Soviet recon drones around the 12 min mark. I didn’t know recon drones existed back then.
The clip seems to be from around 1975.
Some clips of Elon Musk on Rohan’s show talking about the Chinese Lung Butter disease:
https://youtu.be/K61C9GVNCNg
Most of what he’s saying would be right at home in this comment section.
I watched it last night. He is not as whacked out as last interview. He seemed lost and haunted by his own brain last interview.
When he’s being thoughtful and not spouting off on Twitter he can have interesting things to say, plus he mostly agrees with me on this topic which is nice.
The guy is an honest to goodness visionary. He likes to cut through the BS and push himself and others to make the world a better place.
He sucked off the government teat, but just like a well known bank robber said, “ that’s where the money is”
I never liked him and thought he was basically the monorail salesman from the Simpsons.
But I liked that.
COViD reactions from all over the local are leaning from let’s be safe 30 days ago to enough all ready today.
The local moderates are questioning the reasons behind this whole cosplay. Once their and their kids money were affected they started to question the message from the Gov.
It’s going to to be a dangerous Few weeks this spring if normal life doesn’t come back soon.
Spring fever really is a thing, this time of the year people are champing at the bit to be out and active even when they haven’t been forced to stay in their houses for six weeks.
I saw it last weekend. No one was following the Gov’s edicts.
This weekend it’s snowing in May and I expect little to no conflicts.
Once nice weather returns lookout for more civil disobedience.
And, I suspect, the longer we have to wait for the nice weather, the less “civil” the disobedience is going to be when it finally arrives.
Don’t tell a biker he can’t eat at a diner out in the shade in June. Don’t tell a hippie he can’t go see his favorite band because he might be at risk. Don’t tell a mom and dad to not go to the beach with their kids because someone’s grandparents might get sick. The threads are fraying.
The cause used to be the weather, now it is a cold.
Pittsburgh area gets to move to “yellow” on May 15th and the cower-in-place goes until June 4th. Fuck Wolf.
Gets to. Fuck Wolf.
Fuck our glorious ineffectual figurehead DeWhiner. And all praise to She Who Has Her Boot On His Throat, the mighty Dr. Amy Acton.
Just don’t protest in front of Acton’s house, OK?
Cool link bro
If that fuckstick was honest, Bucks would be open. They won’t separate jail and retirement homes from total case #s.
Who the fuck is this idiot you say? Apparently the EIC at Mother Jones.
Still proudly shopping without a mask. Y’all are gonna die of some horrible creeping lungrot mycelia from your unwashed bandanas.
I would have thought her question is moot. Her mother should have died of embarrassment.
Sadly, it seems that Izumi Sakai never did a concert in the antipodes before her untimely death so no ZARD in Oz.
https://youtu.be/DrXX1JxJ3cE
Been reading the Qur’an in Arabic, since this is the Holy Month of Ramadan Bomb-a-thon, patent pending, all rights reserved.
Recently I learned: Hezbollah (party of God) is from the Qur’an (5:56). I thought it was a modern phrase.
وَمَنۡ يَّتَوَلَّ اللّٰهَ وَ رَسُوۡلَهٗ وَالَّذِيۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡا فَاِنَّ حِزۡبَ اللّٰهِ هُمُ الۡغٰلِبُوۡنَ
“All those who take Allah and His Messenger and those who believe as their allies, should remember that the party of Allah will be triumphant.”
There are a lot of interpolations in this translation. My take:
And who is loyal to god, his messenger, and those who believe- truly the band of god are the victorious ones.
A famous quip on translation: they are like women- they can be beautiful or faithful, but rarely both.
Hezb can mean party, band, or faction. I choose band as a more faithful translation. Robin Hood had a band of Merry Men, not a party.
The second part of this verse appears on the flag of Hezbollah.
Ministry Hezbolah.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmAr4o9Gu0
Hm. I liked Bad Blood better. And Jesus Built My Hotrod:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRVMUOYTc3Y
Bad blood was ok. I’m a fan of early stuff. Biting inside and the land of rape and honey.
“the land of rape and honey”
that’s a great album
RAWR! STEVE SMITH ALREADY LIVE IN LAND OF RAPE AND HONEY! AND BY HONEY, MEAN BEE RAPE!
IT STING A LOT AT FIRST!
Maaan, you’re gonna get this site on a list, what with all those keyword hits …
It would have been better for everyone if Hezbollah was the Stryper of the middle east.
Coronapalooza has created a kind of purity spiral whereby many people compete to be the best social distancer or mask wearer or hand washer or pants shitter.
You can’t fault them for this, it’s the game they play for the purity prize.
See SJW bingo, the first to yell out “that’s racist” gets a new dishwasher.
That’s racist. They’re Mexican, and you can’t own one.
“Murder Hornets” Massacre Honey Bees, Not Humans FYI
I am pretty sure I have seen a mud dauber kill a hornet. And those things (mud daubers) are everywhere around here and are not aggressive towards humans.
Honeybees are important livestock.
And there’s a video going around of a praying mantis eating the inside of the murder hornet’s head. I think we’ll get through the Bad Bugocalypse.
New York Times blames Hindu caste system for discrimination against Christians in Pakistan
https://www.jihadwatch.org/2020/05/new-york-times-blames-hindu-caste-system-for-discrimination-against-christians-in-pakistan
[Kif sigh]
Ah, yes. Those darn Hindus have been in power in Pakistan for far too long, I say!
Just when you think no one can be that disingenuous, NYTs to the rescue!
Some dingbat was spouting off about the dangers of Hindu nationalism in India. I replied that India is 80% Hindu.
Heaven forbid the govt represents the beliefs of the majority!
It’s been a long day. Gnight all.
Nighty night!
‘night!
Sssnsnxxzzx. I’m of to prowl the darkweb for the truth about Hillary’s face ripping. And maybe a deal on some adrenochrome.
What’s the URL for that ‘darkweb’?, because I’ve been trying to find it for years. I was almost starting to suspect it doesn’t exist and the media just made it up.
I hear the only way to get on the dark web is to contact the hacker known as 4chan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz5i171h_no
LOL.
4chan is a notorious North Korean hacker, his name is Chan Chan Chan Chan, aka, 4chan
Mocking us by our much beloved author, Joseph Heller. The bastard!
+1 Major x4
The US-Canada Border Splits This Road Down The Middle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EocJm3Dry4E
The library is on the Canada side, but you can go in from the American side if you follow the right path.
I’m in favor of abolishing the border with Canada. It’s not like it does any good to keep out those flappy-headed, puck-slapping, French-talking, syrup-suckers. And besides, I’d prefer to make it easier for our idiots to make good on their perennial “threats” to move there.
And besides, the beer sucks.
I’m in favor of abolishing
the border withCanadaLet the quadrennial election bitchers threaten move to Greenland instead.
They could all just move to Commiefornia without even needing a passport.
My favorite move to Canada moment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iiu8RXQfuSY
54-40 or fight! Make Point Roberts contiguous! Execute War Plan Red!
visual aid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbfBzWJVbX4
According to a Canadian I interrogated:
“The most annoying thing about Canada is you have to say everything in English and French.
[sigh]
La chose plus ennyeuse sur Canada c’est il faut tu dis chaque mot en anglais et en francais.”
Man, that Canuck you interrogated really yanked your chain. ;-)
I always wondered how they react if you use correct contemporary French as they would write it in the country of France? I understand that the French used in Canada is basically a strange dialect. But they require everyone to write in “French” so you would be technically correct.
Canadian Language Police – a dramatic re-enactment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyO1ILQAGsU
Just wondering if this sounds familar ?
It reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDmWYVdN8ug
The old days when a state of emergency meant that the governor convened the legislature to deal with it…
Related music
https://youtu.be/FJvslHHFyaM
When I was just a little tyke (with a “t”,) my folks had a combo radio/record player with the “CD” triangle marked on the radio dial – possibly at more than one frequency.
I have a clock-radio with the Conelrad frequencies marked.
As a collector, I have a few with the CD stations marked
640 and 1240
I know I’m a geek, but being locked in the house has made it worse.
So just checking my recently planted seeds and on day 5 almost all the new ones (2019-2020 seeds) now germinating. But I had an unexpected surprise when some 17 year old tomato seeds, from 2003 were sprouting, 7 of 10, 70% germination. No idea how to explain that one, I’ve tried this before, just this year, I tried germinating 7 different batches of 2003-2004 tomatoes and none of them germinated, pretty much to be expected. And I’ve been waiting on some of them 30 days, about ready to toss them. 70% in 5 days, unheard of, someone must be tricking me. It’s some sort of Marglobe/Brandywine hybrid that I got seeds from my grandmother in the 90s and grew for many years. I’m such a geek. I need another beer.
Lucky duck. The deer love tomaters around here.
They’ll eat any fucking thing, goddamn overgrown rats from hell.
They can’t get to mine. And if they could, they’ll get a face full of lead when I catch them.
One of the doe I harvested in NC (.54 blackpowder ball) had her hind quarter peppered with bird shot. None penetrated the muscle and was contained in the skin or just under the skin. It looked like the shot was several years old. Since I found her pretty far from any houses at the edge of a swamp the garden owner may have taught a lesson that kept.
When I lived in IN, I used to shoot them with a high powered pellet gun to get them to leave and stay away from my garden. It didn’t work. When it would hit them it sounded like shooting a sheet of plywood with a .22 rifle. Seriously. I know that shit hurt and they would run away, only to be back an hour later. They’re dumb as fuck and incredibly destructive. I put a 10 ft high fence around my garden. Still they were destroying everything else I would plant. I remember seeing as many as 25 of them in the back of my property at one time.
One of the reasons being that they were extremely overpopulated there because of no natural predators and you could only kill them in season. They were destroying entire stands of new forest, destroying corn crops, just devastating peoples landscaping. People were getting outraged and I don’t know what happened, because I moved away.
One morning I was out on my deck drinking coffee and I heard a shot close by. Didn’t pay much attention, heard that all of the time. A few minutes later, my neighbor to the West walks over, still carrying his rifle and says ‘I’m sorry man, I just shot a deer on your property. You care if I just let it lay there to warn the others off for a while? Son bitches are killing my trees and landscaping, I’ve had it’. I said ‘OK, no worries, thanks man!’.
Not too surprising for Brandywine. If they don’t get sick, they grow very easily, but they don’t bear much fruit unless you have near perfect weather.
I have to day that it’s surprising to get 70% of any 17 year old tomato seeds germinating. And in 5 days. If you get any seeds that old to germinate it should be a pleasant surprise. Been doing this a long time, I’m pretty much shocked by it.
I save all my yogurt cups and plant things in them. Right now I have about 5 each of kale, spinach, peppers, and 3 each of basil and parsley. Good germination rates so far.
I also took the root ends of some green onions from the store and stuck them in a planter full of compost. They’re doing great so far. I just find it immensely satisfying to plate up a meal and garnish it with herbs that were on the plant mere seconds ago.
I can’t get away with growing tomatoes here because of the filthy pestilient tree rats that some people call “squirrels”. I even camped out by the upstairs window with a slingshot and some 3/8″ steel pellets. I zinged a few and killed one, but it had zero deterrent effect. I tried every homemade squirrel repellant recipe and a few storebought formulas, but nothing worked. I would have to build a fully enclosed cage out of chicken wire to grow tomatoes securely, and that’s more work than I’m willing to do when I could just grow things that they don’t recognize as food.
Fuck Clown Prince Sununu
At Friday’s COVID-19 presser, Gov. Chris Sununu told NHJournal the New Hampshire lockdown that’s left nearly 200,000 Granite Staters out of work might last “a couple more months.”
NHJournal asks the Republican governor what the rationale was for continuing the current business shutdown into the summer now that Sununu’s original benchmark — “flattening the curve” — has been met. (“Flattening the curve” refers to keeping the increase in COVID-19 hospitalizations below the state’s healthcare systems capacity to treat them.)
“I guess if you’re asking for the rationale for keeping the order in place, I would challenge you to tell me what’s the rationale for undoing the order?” Sununu responded.
“Because when you undo the order, you’re going to potentially create another surge. We put that order in place and had great success with it, given that we’re effectively a suburb of Boston,” Sununu said. “And while one death is too many, We’ve been able to keep our fatalities…at a relatively low level compared to our neighbor to the south.”
Jesus, what a fucking moron. No wonder he’s been successful in politics.
It helps when your dad was also governor and your brother was a senator in Congress.
I met John Sununu once. I was working a LPNH table at some political event. I had a copy of either Reason or Liberty with me. I can’t remember which.
John Sununu had just been elected senator. He was at the event. When he made his rounds of the event, he stopped by our table.
He knew the guy that worked the table with me. The three of us started talking.
John Sununu noticed my magazine. He said, “I subscribe to that magazine. It’s pretty good!”
The guy and I working the table tried to get John Sununu to join the LPNH. John Sununu refused and said his good-byes.
You had a chance to turn Hitler libertarian and you squandered it. Up your game .
I hang my head in shame.
It’s amazing how these assholes think they can behave like they are and say the things they are, like this will last forever, like it’s the new normal. They’d best stop watching CNN and put down the NYT.
These people don’t even remember their own logic.
A surge when things are opened up again was built into every coronavirus strategy. avoiding one is not possible by their own logic or any strategy than any stars or country is following.
things were shutdown to avoid overburdening hospitals all at once. it was always assumed most people would eventually get this.
state not stars
The warmer it gets and the longer businesses are closed, the more likely someone loses it and shoots the bastard.
“I would challenge you to tell me what’s the rationale for undoing the order?”
Gee, I don’t fucking know Aristotle. What the fuck do you think?
cost of encapsulated hazmat suit: $1k
number of Americans over 60: 69 million
cost of a suit for every American over 60: $69 billion
cost of fedgov virus response so far: about $2 trillion, about 3,000 times as much as the above
the hazmat thing would be so fucking awesome too.
Would really love to see the elderly in hazmats descending on the local grocery stores.
oops – 2e12/69e9 = about 30
still pretty bad
I feel like — despite its awesomeness — there are some technical flaws with your strategy. How does one care for, store, and sanitize these things? Do the elderly need help to put them on? Should we simply leave the elderly in them all the time? Can the world tolerate even slower moving elderly?
How does one care for, store, and sanitize these things
Kinda fucked up to talk about our elderly like that.
Fact: society would excel if we lived in level B.
Too bad we live in Level 42.
That’s a jam.
But orangebadman might still be president.
nice.
nice.
Jeebus, I just saw a guy on my wife’s Brazil TV with a pet alligator. He called it like a dog and it came out of the pond and then he had it doing tricks and told it to go back in the pond and it did. WTF?
lady swims with big, toothy fishy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoqRcwBJxa8
“Ocean”? C’mon, what else was she going to end up doing?
Also, solid would.
Yes to both.
Hey Slum, if you liked the Drive to Survive F1, you should watch the documentary Senna, if you haven’t seen it.
Next on my list, since I just finished Season 2 of Drive to Survive. I’m apparently an F1 fan now and am jonesing for some racing.
Who knew?
On a related note, I found it semi-fascinating that the Penny Arcade uber-geeks are on the cusp of turning into honest to goodness NASCAR fans due to playing iRacing:
I find that really cool, for some reason.
I’ve watched the Monaco race since I’ve been a kid. I hadn’t really watched the other races till three years back when I started getting into it. Because I have no friends who watch it and would tell me about it I can tape it and watch it Sunday nights. I lived in Brazil for a couple years and Ayrton is a god there. I was looking forward to seeing Verstappen and Albon make a run on Hamilton this season.
Hamilton (accidentally) knocking Albon out of his first podium finish was brutal to watch.
I was also looking forward to watching a season in real-time.
I watched that race and was rooting hard for Albon. He is a damn good driver and was about to win that. Hamilton screwed him hard on that one. I’m looking forward to any bit of a racing season this year.
GAH!
That’s not a woman, that’s a man baby!
Don’t read her wiki. It’s a classic Top.Men. career of parasitism. And she’s running for Congress.
Before I even read it, I was thinking “I bet she’s like those Fletcher School people I’ve met – nice enough, but not the intellectual powerhouses they fancy themselves to be”.
… her M.A. and Ph.D. from the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University.
quelle surprise
I’d make a slur about the alumni of that school but one of them is Michael Dobbs.
I have (had) no idea who that is – why does he get a pass? House of Cards?
Yeah, House of Cards. For building a foundation that Ian Richardson could make into an outstanding piece of work. Right there with Yes, Minister, except without the intentional humor.
I should add that to my watch list – if only so I can watch Spacey’s (allegedly) terrible form on his Waterrower while I’m on my Waterrower.
tonight’s language lesson
Gharb means west in Arabic. It comes from the verb gharaba, which refers to the setting of the sun. The countries of north Africa are called Maghrib, because they are in the western part of the Arab world. Gharib means strange/stranger/foreign. The plural is ghuraba, which is also the name of a famous song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVMjAG_xXvY
The gist is people are strangers on the earth- they are only here for a little while.
In Arabic obituaries, the first phrase is usually “we belong to god to and to him we return.”
A little bit of Tony Allen, one of the best drummers and musicians of the last century and this one to come out of Africa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj6eA9fnvCM
Not my thing but I can understand the appeal.
A different language lesson –
The Japanese word for “nonsense” is “Herikutsu”. This being the combination of the words “He” (pronounced like the “e” in “let”), meaning “flatulence”, and “Rikutsu”, meaning “logic”. So essentially it means “fart logic”.
I’ll bet the Germans are mad they didn’t think of that first.
Heh. I like it. Upumbavu means stupidity in Swahili. Pumbaa (the warthog from The Lion King) basically means dumbass.
Jambo is a simplified greeting for foreigners. It comes from Hujambo (is anything wrong with you?). The response is sijambo (nothing’s wrong with me).
Kujamba means to fart.
I’m using fart logic in my daily rant to neighbors tomorrow. That’s good stuff there.
In a similar vein:
The glass pipe fallacy – something that makes sense but only if you’re smoking crack
I sometimes use the term “a foreskin conclusion” in the same way as many might say “I wood”.
I’ve come up with a new rule to which everyone in my personal life will be held:
If you support locking people in their homes, shutting down religious services, and arresting people for not following the “guidelines”, you have forfeited your right to ever again complain about something being unconstitutional. I just won’t let it happen. This ideological inconsistency has gone too fucking far.
But, but, EEEEEEEEEMMMMMERGENCYYYYYYYYYY
Esse é o coco do norte. Old school Brazilian northeastern music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdnvmU0pEE&list=RDuHdnvmU0pEE&start_radio=1&t=0
Nice. I forget how to say it Portuguese, but the saying is fish don’t pull wagons. It’s the Brazilian version of Beef: It’s what’s for dinner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tviyAIS9c_U
+1 hoedown
Rapaz, esse é complicado, viu?
Something I heard a whole lot in Bahia, everything there is an adventure in getting something done.
Jerry and Lena go nuts from cabin fever.
https://youtu.be/fC3sZ8bm1oA
Was the second gun she shot a .44 magnum? That thing looked barely controllable for a second shot.
@ Own best enemy, The daughter talked me into buying 6-8 man float, i have 2 Kayaks coming and 2 floaties now, come and have a big float!
We strat by the Dam and stop at the park, then bbq,good days!
All Glibs are Welcome
When? next day both wife and and I have off is following Wednesday
Any Wednesday you want, we are testing, and have all the goodies for safe fun, and I want to use Canopy 17, by the River, you will dig it,
Nice! What dam? Davis?
Yes, the park just north of the bridge, then land at rotary park, where we already have our stuff set up, and hang at the beach,
Plan set then for the 20th since thats the earliest day we can do if you are okay with that.
Oh darn, on that day I’m going to.. set up for some River fun with our Families!
Are Lozonne at GEEEE mail dot com
Looking forward to a great Summer, Join us!
Having fun with my kids before whole Shithouse goes up in flames,
the is overrated
+1 definite article free languages such as Russian, Chinese, and Swahili
Sky Mountain thing that goes,
Jeez, that’s practically a Lakota name. Or something Agile Cyborg would just say out of the blue.
Swahili: Kitu cha anga na mlima kilichoenda
Arabic: ash-shayy min as-sama’ wa al-jebel ilidhi biruh
AC Good bad North from cold,
Swahili: AC nzuri na mbaya kwenda kazkazini kutoka kwa baridi
Arabic: AC khayr wa sayy’ shemaal min bared
You OK buddy? I degarble for a living and I’m struggling to pick up what you’re putting down.
But enough about AnOSU.
[golf clap]
How many Ohio States are there? Is there an indeterminate number until the Ohio State wave function collapses?
Hill dictates slope but gravity prevails,
nothing is worth Drowning for, except Sorrow
All Wise men wee once fools,
Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don’t know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHZkzv2HBYM
Warm spring Blackness,
A Hazy moon,
and summertime madness,
that came too soon,
the the smooth warm velvet of the sky,
engulfs my soul in its black embrace,
Floating eagles of the morning,
Fill my shots with grace,
they know,
Smile.
I’m so fucking happy right now, My son is coming to visit, my daughter is nearby, we are gonna have FUN!
/River, Grandkids, MONEY
Awesome dude! We could all use some good times with this ‘Rona shit.
The ladyfriend is coming over this weekend, and we’re gonna have pulled pork sandwiches and a movie with two friends over.
Leader of the Lost Boys,
Find of men’s souls,
Mending those,
I got nothing…………..
Started drinking around 8. It was another 12 beer night. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Was booze free for 2 and half days this week. Ran 2 miles and rucked 6 today.
BEBAT AVT ABEAT
Drink or go away – common sign in ancient Roman taverns
Alright, I’m calling it. Show’s over folks. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrXP5zoFxss
But I literally just buggered on.
Mornin’ Glibbies.
Apparently here in the United Karendom there will be some “gradual easing” of lockdown restrictions beginning Monday, but only so they can make some carefully curated statistics to say “I told you so!” when there’s somehow a “huge rise in new cases” or whatever they’ve already decided it has to be.
Phase 1: Lockdown (national house arrest)
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: New government control of ever more aspects of life and business kept indefinitely
Looking at what is apparently the “new normal” for offices and store checkouts, I really wish I’d invested in plexiglass.
All hail the new me.
https://www.wfmz.com/health/coronavirus/argall-weighs-in-on-schuylkill-berks-reopening-plans/article_751c3d24-91a3-11ea-a934-a3b974f9a1f8.html
“We just don’t think that one person should have the right to close down the whole state.”
Correct.
https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/05/08/queens-brian-may-injures-buttocks-with-over-enthusiastic-gardening/
Euphemism?
https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/05/07/police-woman-buried-by-her-son-saved-after-3-days-in-grave/
Something something dirty Wang.
Need moar coffee.
https://triblive.com/local/pittsburgh-allegheny/was-sand-dumping-at-pittsburgh-city-hall-a-retaliation-to-shuttered-skateboard-park/
Should have dumped some cement.
I’m hoping city hall is now teeming with dirt bikes and BMXs.
Drugs ex asinus?
Tiger-molester Roy Horn keels over due to
complications relating to a recent infection byCOVID-19.