Guess what? I’m not Sloopy. But unlike other people around here (cough, cough, Brett), he’s got a good excuse for slacking, what with helping out Banjos in these difficult days. True story: while they were out here, I went over to their hotel to pick up Sloopy, I hadn’t actually met their kids before (no idea why they would want to keep them away from me, a harmless old… wait, nevermind), but had certainly seen lots of pictures and videos of them over the years. As they came running out to see who Mommy and Daddy were talking to, I greeted the first one, “Hi, Libby!” She stopped and stared at me, then demanded accusingly, “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?” I gave her a manic grin, tapped my forehead, and said, “Because I’m SMART.” Large eyes, shrink back, stay close to Banjos. It was hilarious. I love freaking out kids.

And I also love birthdays, other than my own. Today’s include the guy who cemented Billy the Kid’s fame; the real Frito Bandito; the guy we all are now; the most entertaining human to ever play in the NFL; a guy who rose to fame by lying to us about Vietnam; a guy whose story had a true happy ending; a terrific scriptwriter and comic actor; and a guy with a very large penis.

Oh, the theme? It’s 112 degrees outside. Fuck stepping into the light, I’m staying in. And tossing out some news links for discussion. Starting with…

 

“Looka me, I’m relevant again! Gimme money!”

 

Rand Paul, racist. I particularly like the quotes at the end from Senator Resting Bitch Face: ” I cannot feel that openness and rawness that I just heard expressed by my friends Cory and Kamala. I have not lived their life.” Translation: “Willie Brown didn’t want to bang me.”

 

If true, this should be entertaining.

 

“Look, their union is a massive contributor to my campaign, which shows that they’re the good guys.”

 

I’m sure if this cop had racial sensitivity training, this wouldn’t have happened.

 

More cops who need racial sensitivity training.

 

It’s hard to beat WaPo for sheer stupidity.

 

Old Guy Music today is a bittersweet and contemplative tune from one of my favorite singer/songwriters and a good friend of SP’s and mine.