SAN FRANCISCO – The change was announced yesterday on the company’s Twitter account. Originally named for its founder and Hollywood star Paul Newman, the company has faced increasing pressure from all directions to be better. According to marketing expert Joanna Gambolputty “this is just one small step in the direction of a more just society. Whenever a salad is eaten, it will be a reminder of the work to be done. Uhuru!” The new logo will include the grim-faced Black Panthers founder in his iconic black beret and a sawed-off shotgun in his hands. New flavors will include Muthafuckin’ Ranch, Jive Ass Honkey Vinagrette, and Straight Outta Compton Balsamic. There will also be a hemp-flavored variety called The Chronic. Salad dressings aren’t the only foods making a switch. Tyson’s Chicken announced that it will now be known as Mike Tyson, and pictures of golden brown nuggets and strips will be replaced with a portrait of the famed boxer along with a speech bubble that says “Everyone got a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth.” Fast Food companies are getting in on the action too. KFC will be replacing Colonel Sanders on its logo with Cornel West and donating a share of its profits to fund “as many Madea movies as Tyler Perry wants to make”. However, others have criticized the changes. “This kind of simple-minded pandering will do nothing to solve the problems facing black Americans”, said civil rights activist and amateur quarterback Colin Kaepernick. “What we all need to do is come together and work hard on what will make real change happen, like kneeling during the national anthem or wearing socks with cartoon pigs dressed like cops.” Hygiene products are also feeling the pinch. Ivory Soap will be rebranding itself to Ebony Soap and toothpaste companies are reeling after angry mobs of Black Lives Matter protesters have stolen and destroyed any toothpaste containing the word “white”. One bleach company is going the other way. Its flagship product is White Power, but so far its only customer is David Duke.