Contemplate 118°, intense sun, not a hint of clouds, and no shade. But at least no church, either. And massive thanks to LCDR Fish for suggesting Everett True as a theme. Which it will be for me for quite a while.

I do like my birthdays, and here’s why: today we have a guy who got an orange drink named after him, no small feat; a guy who had basically the right idea, but wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it; a guy whom I blame for the existence of every bad movie ever made; a solid sort of guy who should be everyone’s model; a brilliant director of family-friendly films; a guy whom you could really have a ball with; a guy whose penis took as long to be born as the rest of him; the very worst Stooge ever; a guy who might be STEVE SMITH’s spirit animal; and Lindsey Graham’s stunt man.

With that, we move on to news.

 

Maybe they were just concerned about the cops’ girth?

 

“The crisis requires a large-scale government response, according to experts.” Doesn’t it always.

 

It’s a good thing that our government is tightly focused on the least important metric.

 

Not Bayonne, NJ this time.

 

If he had said, “Go fuck yourself,” I’d be a customer for life.

 

The part that bothers me is that they aren’t even pretending any more. C’mon, have some respect.

 

Brave Hispanics gunned down by white supremacist. Or something.

 

Old Guy Music today goes classical because y’all hate it. But this one’s really fun- Vaughan William’s Tuba Concerto is a wonderful piece, this is a cool arrangement, and women playing big brass instruments has always been my kink. She does a great job.