They’re always sad.

My slow-ass hotel wifi is gonna keep this short and sweet today. Which is probably a good thing, to be honest. The “Wall o’ Morning Links” lately has been depressing. As for sports, Chelsea lost to West Ham, Everton (that hapless crosstown rival to my Reds) won a huge game. And some investors (read: under media pressure, no doubt) are asking sponsors to cut ties with the Redskins until they change their name. Lastly, I’ll hit you with a mind-boggling bit of trivia that I learned last night: Ken Griffey Jr has the second most hits (2781) of any MLB player…that was born on November 21st in Donora, PA.

I’m jelly.

Supreme Court justice Thurgood Marshall was born on this day. He shares it with civil rights martyr Medgar Evers, tennis player Rene Lacoste, my favorite despot of sorts Imelda Marcos, “The King” Richard Petty, comedian Larry David, wrestler Brett “The Hitman” Hart, slugger Jose Canseco, and hockey great Joe Thornton.

OK, now…the links!

“By order of the court” my ass.

This is terrifying. For reals.

Good! For reals.

LOL! For reals.

Totally expected. For reals.

Read your employment agreement. This shouldn’t have been unexpected.

Fucking creepy fuck.

Chicago Public Schools…only the best and brightest are qualified to work for them. What a fucking creep.

Cisco’s got some splainin to do. Wow.

This should not have been unexpected. The bailouts should be starting soon, I’d imagine.

An underrated song. Well, I like it anyway. Hope you do too.

That’s it. Go have a great day, friends!