Happy Monday, everybody. I believe (**crosses fingers**) I have finally finished moving and/or assembling all of the large furniture items to be had. The count stands at: 4 beds moved, 1 assembled, 1 crib assembled. 5 dressers moved, one assembled, and a glider moved in and assembled. Literally every bedroom we use as a bedroom has a different bed and dresser than it did on the first of September. Nothing is too good for my family (**he grumbled**).

We coulda had a smokin’ hot Jewish chick as our Vice President. Not to worry, under our current dynastic rules, she’ll be the GOP Presidential nominee in 2032.

Maybe this guy should teach freshmen in HS instead of kindergarten. As an object lesson to the kids.

Homeopathy comes for our seltzer water! Parts per trillion. Heh. Cyanide is safe at parts per trillion. In fact, your apple juice may contain that level of cyanide.

This is absolutely infuriating, if true. Initial reports indicated that the cop injured in the Breonna Taylor shooting was injured by a 9mm bullet, and the only person firing 9mm was her boyfriend (who, to be clear, was not the same man named in the warrant — there has been some confusion there). Turns out, the cop who was indicted for mag-dumping now also appears to have been carrying and firing a 9mm pistol. Now I understand why the wrongful death settlement came so high and so fast. $12M was a big number… I’m guessing now that was to keep some inconvenient facts from being made court record in discovery.