Astra looked over Kamala’s schedule for the day and sighed. The three sports bras smashing her breasts flat itched and hurt and she kept rubbing against doorframes for some small relief.

“Stop squirming,” Seresto hissed.

“This is silly,” Astra hissed back, like a cat with a lisp. “I have the biggest boobs of all of us.”

“You lost,” Kayleighburrow said, smoothing her hair in the infinity mirror of the elevator. “One of us had to transition for the publicity. You’re going to get to go on so many talk shows! So jealous.”

“It’s not fair,” Astra whined. “And these Spanx are making me fart.”

“We know,” Seresto said.

“It’s not my fault!’ Astra said, stamping her feet, which make another squeaker slither out.

As the elevator opened, Seresto gasped at her phone. “You haven’t changed your status yet?” she asked as they began to sorkin down the hall.

“She hasn’t changed your status yet?” Kayleighburrow dramatically gasped.

“No, I haven’t,” Astra said through clenched teeth.

“You haven’t changed your status yet?” Kayleignburrow dramatically gasped again. Astra reached across Seresto and slapped Kayleighburrow’s small breasts.

“Hey,” she said, cuddling them protectively.

“My boyfriend is not happy with the idea,” Astra said, her jaw rippling with tension.

“What?” Seresto asked. “Is he going to break up with you for coming out as non-binary? Twitter will cancel his ass. I’ll have Jack let the #enbyphobe hashtag go live. It will ruin him.”

“Yeah, it will ruin him,” Kayleighburrow said, stumbling against a wall as she stared down the front of her own shirt.

“And you better get that haircut,” Seresto said. “They always get themselves a haircut, like a Depressed Stock Boy or the I Only Do Hand Stuff and Cry.”

“Nonbinary hair is the worse,” Astra said, on the verge of tears.

“Elliot Page is so hot,” Seresto said, reading off the screen of her phone.

“He is so hot,” Kayleighburrow said automatically. “I bet his penis is large and sexual.”

Astra began to full-on cry, big fat tears running down her face. “I like my boyfriend,” she blubbered.

“You only have to change to (they/them),” Seresto said. “That means you still have all your pussy parts. But you can’t shave anymore.”

“And you have to wear underwear with flaps,” Kayleighburrow said. “You know, those front flaps. That you have to like unfold to get your penis out of. All the folds. You know.”

Astra and Seresto watched her until she stopped talking.

“GODDAMMIT!” they heard President-elect Harris scream from her office and all three began clattering down the hall to her office.

“Ma’am?” all three said, trying to crowd through the door at once.

“Look at this! Look at this! Who painted this? I look hideous!” Kamala screech, thick white spittle building at the left corner of her mouth.

“You’re beautiful,” Kayleighburrow said dreamily.

“I look like I’m trying not to spit out a mouthful of jizz! I am supposed to look strong and feminine and inviting and motherly and Presidential!” she said, throwing a stapler at the corporate office art on the wall.

Astra opened her mouth, but Kamala cut her off.

“And you!” she said pointing. “You still look like a woman! Cut that hair! I want it looking like shit by this afternoon! And change those GODDAMN pronouns, or you’ll be full trans by the end of week! You want to be Astro? That’s a dog name!”