ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT IS APPROACHING THE BRUTAL HOLIDAY OF CHRISTMAS – THERFORE, ZARDOZ WILL GO OVER SOME BASIC PRINCIPLES. NO, NOT REGARDING THE BELIEF THAT CHRISTMAS WAS THE FULFILLMENT OF THE PROMISE OF THE ALMIGHTY TO SEND HIS SON TO REDEEM THE WORLD. ZARDOZ’S AIMS ARE NOT SO… LOFTY. ZARDOZ WOULD BRING YOU BACK TO HIS BASELINE ASSUMPTIONS:

  1. THE GUN IS GOOD.
  2. THE PENIS IS EVIL.
  3. YOU, THE CHOSEN ONES, MUST GO FORTH AND SNARK AT THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA BRUTALS.

ONCE YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THAT, ZARDOZ WILL FEEL THE WARM HOLIDAY SPIRIT.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHOSEN ONES.

 

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.