Knock-knock-knock”

Floyd answered the door, “Get a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup and I’ll be with you.” Floyd grabbed his coat and headed for the door. “C’mon, Pardner, we’re off to see Tony and conduct some business,” Floyd said.

OK, but what’s up?” Russ answered. They headed out to Floyd’s pick up, “I’ll fill you in along the way, I’m gonna get this thing resolved and be on my way to fame and fortune,” Floyd explained. “I’ve got 15 big ones in my britches’ pocket, pay off Martha’s loan and start making money.”

Russ asked, “How did you find $1500 in the sock drawer, unless you mortgaged your bass boat?”

Let me explain, Ol’ Bud,” Floyd said. “Remember when we were in the army, every pay day The Old Man would lean on us to buy savings bonds, by allotment? I started doing that and kind of forgot about it and the bonds kept piling up, drawing interest. Anyway a few years ago I got a little nervous about the way things were going and decided to cash them in and I did.”

OK, but that was then and this is now, what’s that got to do with today?” Russ wondered aloud.

Well, here’s the deal,” Floyd explained. “I was looking through that metal box that everyone has in their closet, you know, important papers, insurance and stuff? It turned out that I had missed a few of those old bonds, took them to the bank and cashed ’em in. Had close to the $1500 and a little out of my rainy day fund and I’m there.”

They pulled into the parking lot at Tony’s pawn shop and walked on in. Tony turned around, “Well, kind of surprised to see you guys this early,” he said.

After the pleasantries Floyd told Tony, “I’m here to pay off Martha’s loan, get the deed and start figuring out what I’m gonna do with my 5 acres across the street.”

Come on back into my office, we’ve got to discuss a few things, Floyd, we’ll talk about it,” Tony told them. After they sat down, Tony offered coffee but both Floyd and Russ declined.

We’re kind of coffee’d out and want to start on this project,” and saying that Floyd reached into his pocket for his billfold.

Tony said, “I’m not selling my property, Floyd, I’m holding a good lien, I filed a quit claim deed on it with the Registrar, to determine if anyone else has any claims and so far no one else has expressed an interest. As far as I’m concerned I legally own that property.”

Floyd exploded with, “You’re full of shit, Tony, I won that property fair and square, Russ is a witness.” Russ nodded in agreement.

Tony said, “Let me explain how things work, Floyd. You didn’t buy that property, you bought lottery tickets to try to win the property. In effect you donated a grand to the church. You even bought the winning ticket for insurance, from the kid, Gus. Had Gus not sold you his ticket you’d have been thanked on Sunday by the preacher for your generosity and Gus would have been a happy young man.”

Then Gus would be sitting here trying to figure things out,” Tony went on, “facing the same situation as you, only you’d still have the $300 you paid in back taxes for Chuck. I would like to thank you for paying the taxes though, saved me a problem.”

Tony, you’re a real SOB, I won that lottery, I won that property, now you owe me $300 for the taxes,” Floyd angrily said.

Wait a minute, Floyd, how could I owe you $300? I wasn’t there, I wasn’t involved at all. If anyone owes you the money it would be Martha, since she was the owner or Martha’s estate and Chuck is the executor, don’t make any accusations that include me,” Tony declared.

A head popped into the office and said, “Tony, there’s a couple people in suits here, want to talk to you about your new property.”

Tony turned to Floyd and Russ and told them, “These are the people from the Zoning Board and Corps of Engineers, they want to look over the property, seems like there is a pond adjacent to the property. Maybe you guys played there as kids. You’re welcome to come along but keep your mouth shut unless you have something of fact to say, as lifelong residents.”

Floyd and Russ looked at each other, angry with Tony but were beginning to understand that he was legally right, especially after he had told them what they didn’t want to hear.

They met the two bureaucrats, one a grey haired older guy, the other an attractive younger woman. They introduced themselves all around and walked across the street to look at the property. The man from the Zoning Board had a briefcase and opened it when they got to the site. He pulled out a surveyor’s map and began to explain that the property in question was zoned residential but could be rezoned commercial with the approval of the zoning board. Would cost $500 to appear and no guarantee of approval.

With that Tony gulped and nodded, Floyd and Russ smirked a little but stayed quiet.

Miss Corps of Engineers began her lengthy explanation as to how all navigable water came under the jurisdiction of the CE and since the pond had enough water to float a canoe it was in fact navigable. Setbacks from the high water points would have to be observed and would require a survey by both the county and an independent survey company. Tony quickly understood that the process was the punishment but said nothing. They all walked back to the parking lot and said their goodbyes to the government employees.

Tony looked a little depressed while Floyd was cheerful, laughing along with Russ as they all shook hands. Walking back to the pick up, Russ said, “Hey Big Guy, let’s stop at the new overpriced coffee shop, I’ll buy you a coffee and a doughnut of your choice,”

Floyd said, “You know, Russ, I take back some of those things I said about you. Now I wonder what Tony is going to do?”