LOS ANGELES – Millions of parents are furious at the hit band Disrespect Your Elders for promoting youthful misbehavior in their music. “I’m literally shaking” said Moms Yearning Over Protecting Innocent Children president Joanna Gambolputty. “In my day, we listened to good, wholesome music like Eat Your Vegetables or Do Your Homework. Whatever happened to that?”

Old Wine In New Bottles, the record label that represents Disrespect Your Elders, has firmly denied any misconduct. “Let me be the first to say that no one is more outraged than me” said company president Al Cuhallick, “but alas, our hands are tied by the first amendment. But as a gesture of goodwill, I am pleased to announce that we are donating vast sums to all the currently popular activist groups, including the ones encouraging pre-teens to mutilate their genitals. It’s our way of giving back to society.” Cuhallick then politely ended the interview to ponder what yacht he should buy next.

Speaking on behalf of the band, Disrespect Your Elders frontman Whizzy LSMFT defended the band by saying “like, look man – it’s just music, you know? Chill. The more you fight it, the more our fans want to buy our albums and stuff. It’s like that story about the forbidden fruit. I read it one time. I think it was called Jimbo and the Giant Pear.” Grandparents and other experts have stressed the need to remain calm, adding that once the fans of Disrespect Your Elders start marrying and having kids, they will surely become even more insufferable prudes than their lame-o parents.