THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

ITS NICE NOW WE DON’T HAVE TO ELABORATE ON WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS.  WE DON’T NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR THOSE THAT WOULD LEAK THIS TO THE FEDERALIST OR BUZZFEED.

QUITE FRANKLY IT IS REFRESHING WE NO LONGER HAVE A PRESIDENT WE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT. 

TRUST THE PLAN.

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED 

January 18, 2021
Location:  Wilmington, DE

“Mr. President-Elect.  I appreciate you inviting to meet me in person for this transition briefing….” The special agent began.  He looked around the odd and ends of the basement where America’s next president was kept safe.  “I am afraid it is too sensitive for Zoom.”

”Yeah… sure thing…” The President-Elect did his customary half cocked smile and a wink.  “Just call me Joe.”

”Yes Mr. President-Elect”.

The President-Elect’s basement was neatly apportioned with a large leather sofa in the corner facing a desk with three cameras.  One on a tripod on the desk, one wall mounted behind the desk, and another small enough to be handheld.  Opposite was a single podium with the President-Elect’s seal on a shower curtain as a backdrop. The agent noticed there was indeed a shower behind it.

The President-Elect was wearing a luxurious, dark blue bathrobe with the President-Elect’s seal embroidered over his heart.  Along with a gold chain hanging loosely around his neck with his lifeguard whistle.

”So Special Agent in Charge Snuffy, what brings you here?”

”You remembered my name?”

The President-Elect walked slowly towards the podium and scooted out a 55 gallon drum into view before sitting down on top of it.  Not content with simply laying his weight off his broken foot, the President-Elect shifted his garment slightly revealing the luxurious, dark blue bathrobe was the only thing standing in the way of the President-Elect’s soft erection.

”I mean, yeah.  I’m running out of cord blood here.  I need to let Hunter know the barrel is kinda light.”  He winked again.

The agent winced.

”C’mon man, everyone knows you.”  The President-Elect continued. You’re the the the the the guy with the cigarettes, the the the the the cheap whiskey, sweaty armpits, and the the the the leathery something or other.”

”Nothing you said thus far is a lie.”

”Then theres you know, the thing you’re always going on about…something about the John Kerry robot and how it it it it it was too realistic to be believable?”

“While my agency provided the hardware for that I personally had very little to do with it.”

“You guys made the Kamala bot too?  She sucks.  She really sucks.”

“No. That’s just Senator Harris.”

“You’re the guy that put Beau in a cryo-cryoshhhtastitablatshasisis after Ted Kennedy raped him?”

“You’re getting close enough. Ted Kennedy was severely damaged by his encounter with SPACE SMITH.  Lets just say Ted Kennedy had a little bit of SPACE SMITH in him and thats what happened to your son.”

“That’s too bad, man.”

“…one among dozens of other incidents involving Ted Kennedy.”

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

ITS NICE NOW WE DON’T HAVE TO ELABORATE ON WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS.  WE DON’T NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR THOSE THAT WOULD LEAK THIS TO THE FEDERALIST OR BUZZFEED.

QUITE FRANKLY IT IS REFRESHING WE NO LONGER HAVE A PRESIDENT WE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT. 

TRUST THE PLAN.

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED 

“One thing we need you to know is that SPACE SMITH is still among us.  Sitting there silently, waiting for its time to strike at the soul of our nation.”

“C’mon man. I thought we took care of that back in 1972 when Richard Nixon did that thing in the place, during the you know, with that lady and the broken dreams of aborted fetuses deal.  Such a waste of fetal tissue but we didn’t know better back then, man.  We weren’t following the science.  Let let let let let me tell you. We will listen to the experts when I am president.”

“I am an expert on SPACE SMITH.

“Okay”

“I am telling you need to shut the hell up.”

“Okay.”

“So don’t talk about SPACE SMITH while we cover up everything about SPACE SMITH.”

“YOU LISTEN HERE FAGGOT. I have my great grandfather’s codpiece that he wore when he fought Moros in Manila and and and and and and he took several Filipino house boys back to America.”

“What?”

The President-Elect pulled out a switchblade and moved slowly across the shag carpeted basement floor and put it against the agent’s neck. The agent felt a small hand caress his bosom, a soft erection at the small of his back, and a small hairy snout from behind his left ear.

“You smell like Beau…”

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

ITS NICE NOW WE DON’T HAVE TO ELABORATE ON WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS.  WE DON’T NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR THOSE THAT WOULD LEAK THIS TO THE FEDERALIST OR BUZZFEED.

QUITE FRANKLY IT IS REFRESHING WE NO LONGER HAVE A PRESIDENT WE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT.

TRUST THE PLAN.

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED