In fifth grade I was given an assignment by my teacher to do a book report on a local Indian tribe.  We were allowed to call them Indians in those days, and I picked the Aztecs because everyone else picked the Anasazi.  The book explained the last five days of the calendar are “empty days” and were considered unlucky.  Markets were shut down, there were no games, people fasted, people abstained from contact with one another, and huddled with their immediate families in their homes.  Fire was not even allowed.  All in anticipation of the priest class finding signs the gods allowed the world to continue for another year around the sun through lighting a fire from the top of the temple after dusk on the fifth day.  Yes, it was probably burning bodies.

This was particularly egregious for a New Fire Ceremony every 52 years, where the sacrificial victim had to have their heart removed and then have the empty chest cavity lit on fire…some believe while the sacrificial victim was still conscious.

This is my review of Rogue Dead Guy Ale:

This year probably sucked for a lot of people.  Some lost their jobs and their livelihoods.  Some got so bored with the death of live sports that there was speculation sports bettors invested in really stupid companies to get their degenerate gambling fix.  Some got into fruitless crusades against the state.  Others got into fruitless crusades against society. Others still, got into fruitless crusades against everyone.

Some of us adapted to the new circumstances and took advantage of the monetary savings of not having to drive to work towards something useful like a new septic tank.  The suckiness was all of our choosing.  Whatever happened yesterday or happens tomorrow, we did it all to ourselves.

2020 wasn’t all bad when we compare it to other years where it was significantly worse.  Years like:

536: Where a volcano erupted in Iceland and covered Europe in fog for years resulting in a terrible cold spell.  Some scholars believe this is the origin of the term Dark Ages because the skies literally grew dark.

Consequently, global temperatures plummeted which resulted in the coldest decade in over 2,000 years. Famine was rampant and crops failed all across Europe, Africa and Asia. Unfortunately, 536 AD seemed to only be a prelude to further misery. This period of extreme cold and starvation caused economic disaster in Europe and in 541 A.D. an outbreak of bubonic plague further led to the death of nearly 100 million people and almost half of the Byzantine Empire.

Despite ridicule from his unit, Franz was convinced masks did nothing to stop the spread of mustard gas

1816:  Sometimes referred to as “The Year Without a Summer”:

What caused this calamitous “Year Without a Summer?” At the time, many people believed the chaos was some form of divine retribution, but most scientists now place the lion’s share of the blame on an Indonesian volcano called Mount Tambora. In early 1815, Tambora roared to life with one of the most devastating volcanic eruptions on record—an explosion 10 times more powerful than Krakatoa. Along with killing thousands of locals, the blast also spewed sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere. The ash cloud drifted across the globe in the months that followed, blotting out the sun and creating a volcanic winter. When combined with the lingering effects of the Little Ice Age—a period of global cooling that lasted from the 14th to 19th centuries—the sun-sapping pall was enough to lower the planet’s average temperature and send weather patterns into a tailspin.

1918:  Not only was there a war, there was a major flu pandemic exasperated because of mobilization and mass movements as a result of the war.

1945:  It was terrible for pretty much everyone, regardless if they were participating in the war, but it was particularly bad if you happened to live in Japan.

1968:  Millennials think they are living through a rehash of the 60’s, but have yet to see a witness a single political assassination.  Epstein and Hassem Solemani do not count.

1989:  The world was introduced to a Florida man by the name of Robert Van Winkle, better known as Vanilla Ice.

While I recognize frame of reference can influence how one determines if their life does, or does not suck, 2020 pales in comparison to all of the years above.  Particularly because the people complaining the most are doing so in a climate controlled dwelling on a piece of technology, like the one this was written on, that retails for thousands of dollars.  Dollars the government just printed out of thin air to placate them.

 

How does this beer relate?  Turns out they put Mictlāntēcutli, the Aztec God of Death, on the bottle.  The fun cartoon is an obvious play on a famous artifact depicting the god.  In case anybody draws my name for next year’s winter solstice related gift exchange:  I would LOVE this little guy as a door stop.

This is an American-style Pale Ale that is a go-to for many.  Rogue’s flagship brew is on the balanced to slightly hoppy side of things, but otherwise unthreatening.  I might be hypercritical on this one, because of how many times I’ve had it, but…Rogue Dead Guy Ale:  3.8/5