“This doesn’t belong in a museum!”, bellows Harrison Ford’s iconic character as he heaves Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus onto a bonfire. In this latest installment of the franchise, Indian Jones and the Decree of Nero, the famous adventurer will help the brave soldiers of the National Socialist German Workers Party destroy body-shaming art rightfully plundered from the evil rich capitalists of Europe.

“We’re really kicking things up a notch” said creator and director George Lucas. “If you thought nuking a fridge was wild, you ain’t seen nothing yet. This one is guaranteed to get people talking.” In the film, Dr. Jones finds himself in a desperate race against time against the massive armies poised to overwhelm him and his newfound friends, including a certain officer he famously punched out of a zeppelin years earlier.

“We wanted to show how Indy can have a change of heart, that he can forgive even the bitterest of enemies”, continued Lucas, “audiences will be blown away when Indy visits the Pergamon Museum and meets kindred spirits among the Ahnenerbe and says ‘Nazis…these guys aren’t so bad after all!'”