Finnegan jabbed Joe in the slack skin of his upper arm.

“What’s this one for, for?” he asked.

“The Johnson and Johnson vaccine,” his granddaughter said, pulling the emptied syringe out.

“Johnson is another word for penis,” Joe said and grinned, his capped teeth shining. “I just got the Penis and Penis vaccine!”

“That’s right,” Finnegan said and sighed.

“I’m going to have two penises?” Joe asked, feeling his crotch through his dress slacks.

“Do I really have to be here for this?” Kamala asked.

“You’re getting the shot too,” Finnegan said, preparing another shot.

“She’s going to grow another penis too?” Joe asked, alarmed.

Kamala shrugged out of her vermillion suit jacket, throwing it across a chair.

Finnegan pointed to her long-sleeved shirt and said, “It has to go in the upper arm.”

Kamala’s face soured and she glared at Joe. “Fine,” she said. As she pulled off her shirt, her pendulous breasts slipped out and swung freely back and forth like the clappers of a hideous bell.

Finnegan backed up a half-step. Somehow Kamala’s expression soured further.

“I’m the most powerful woman in the free world,” she snapped. “I’m not going to wear a bra to work.”

“I love National Geographic,” Joe said as he struggled to button his shirt.

“Joe!” Finnegan and Kamala said simultaneously.

“I used to sneak them into the bathroom,” Joe said, lost in reverie. “I’d touch my Johnson and Johnson.”

“That’s disgusting,” Kamala said.

“You know it, Jack,” Joe said salaciously, bending over in his chair to stare at her huge areolae, tracing each crenellation.

Kalama twitched as Finnegan sank the syringe into her arm and jerked it back out.

“There,” she said. “You’ve both had all the vaccines on the market.”

“And the South African vaccine?” Kalama said, pulling on her clothes.

“They took it off the market,” Finnegan said, wrinkling her brow. “It makes you test a false positive for AIDS.”

Kamala barked out a laugh, “Yeah, false positive. Ooh.”

Finnegan just stared.

“I was with Willy Brown, little girl,” Kamala said witheringly. “It’s not like they had PReP meds back then.”

“The unfortunate victims of our action in Syria will live in my memory,” Joe said.

“What did you say?” Kamala asked.

“Quiet!” he said. “I’m trying to give a press conference over here!”