INT – OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

TED breaks down the door to the Oval Office. A mysterious figure is seated in the chair behind the desk.

TED
Only eat what you kill!

TED starts firing wildly around the room, with the M60 he now has for some reason, Rambo style. Everything he shoots at explodes. He keeps firing until he runs out of ammo, and throws the gun to the ground. A slow clap comes from behind the the chair.

 HILLARY
Well done, you played your part perfectly!

 TED
Who the fuck are you?!

 HILLARY
I'm the top bitch!

HILLARY swivels her chair around to reveal her face.

Hillary (CONT’D)
Some call me Madame President, the unclean call me Hillary. But you? You can call me Q. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

TED
What the fuck?!

HILLARY
The media told you, I AM THE MOST QUALIFIED EVER!
This is true. So qualified that when that orange
cum stain won, I was able to control his own supporters!
Make them look insane! And now you are here to
assassinate my lessers. Joe, Kamala; engage!

JOE and KAMAL enter through the side doors of the oval office. Joe, drooling, wandering, with a pool chain wrapped around his hands. Kamala with a butterfly knife she keeps flicking about.

TED
What the fuck?!

HILLARY
I AM Q! I control the vertical and the horizontal! I control the Narrative, both left and right! I am become President, controller of life!

TED
I’m getting seriously fucking confused here.

HILLARY
Why only control the narrative of the party in power, when you can control it all? The illusion of opposition! The deep state milks at my breast, and so does the opposition. I am mother to all! Attack!

JOE and KAMALA race at TED. Joe swings the pool chain, but TED ducks and the chain smashes Kamala across the face, causing her to stab him with the butterfly knife. Both die.

TED
Some enforcers!, they fucking killed each other.

HILLARY
Just as I planned. I AM THE DEEP STATE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

TED
But you didn’t count on me, bitch!

TED rushes Hillary, but as TED leaps over the desk HILLARY pulls out a syringe and sticks TED, who counter to physics, drops to the floor immediately.

TED
Covid! My only weakness! How did you know!?

TED dies instantly. At that exact moment, HARVEY breaks down the door; which even though had already been broken down by TED is intact again. He stands in a hero pose.

HARVEY
It played out, just like you said, madame President Q! The world is now safe from White Supremacist Right Wing Nazis!

HARVEY raises his arms in triumph. FREEZE FRAME.

CUT TO CREDITS

STORM TROOPIN BEGINS TO PLAY.

FADE TO BLACK

THE END