Long gas lines.  Runaway inflation.  The never ending Israeli-Arab conflict.  UFO invasion.  Joe Biden insults the Coast Guard.  None of this matters.

This is my review of Destihl Brewery Wessenheimer:

What really matters, is what touches every one of us personally.  Which means what matters is who invented Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Not this guy.

An upcoming biopic about the life of Richard Montañez, the janitor formerly working for Frito Lay and supposed inventor of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, is currently in preproduction according to IMDB. The movie appears to be the standard hero’s journey but this one is true, and not just made up.  It is even directed by Eva Longoria, who should not be confused with Evan Longoria, who currently plays 3B for the San Fransisco Giants.

Montañez has turned his life story into a lucrative speaking career.  Even headlining seminars at Harvard and USC for a princely fee of $10,000-$50,000.  The problem is according to Frito Lay he didn’t invent Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

“None of our records show that Richard was involved in any capacity in the Flamin’ Hot test market,” Frito-Lay wrote in a statement to The Times, in response to questions about an internal investigation whose existence has not been previously disclosed. “We have interviewed multiple personnel who were involved in the test market, and all of them indicate that Richard was not involved in any capacity in the test market.

Frito Lay of course did absolutely nothing to stop this guy from taking credit for the worlds most perfect cure for the munchies until Lynne Greenfield, the actual inventor of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos caught wind of it and asked them what was going on.

The filmmaker’s response to all of this is perfect:  Its true enough.  In the end, the only thing to do is continue questioning what is real, because nothing we see is real anymore.

Also respect the grift.

This is a beer local to Swiss, as I found out recently.  I found it locally in a mask free liquor store.  As in they had a sign telling people to NOT put a mask on as it makes it impossible to identify the person robbing them.  Its a standard, unfiltered Hefeweizen with a neutral finish and a delightful pun for a name.  Overall its a pretty solid offering.  Destihl Brewery Wessenheimer:  3.1/5