Hey, this the Galactic Joe experience, i want to tell you about this new vitamin I take….
Ten minutes later,
High everyone, we have a special feed from Yusef Adams, Yusef, hows it going?
“First off it’s Adama, not Adams, I gave that up long ago on Caprica”
Oh right, sorry Dude, do you Partake?
“Duh, our Ship runs on THC” “nice, did you grow this?”
Yes, well my team did, I just do interviews
“Minions, heh I have a Kerrybot you know”
You gave it a name? That’s just weird Yusef
“I was gone a long time ,Fuck off Joe”
So she’s good?
“Yes, can we go on please?”
So what’s with the Black Ship? Is it like New tech?
“Yep, FTL, with no restrictions we can roll 25c in a heartbeat, and slow just as fast,
Awesome man, can you like, tell us how it works?
“All we know is they knew our physiology and built a ship that fit us, that said, I sleep on the Gwen”
So , like the Black ship is like, unknown? And you just drive it around? Whoa…
“It’s a bit more complex Joe, we are looking for who is guilty, and who must Pay, Mars will be avenged..”
Oh yeah, Mars, I forgot, sorry about your Planet,
“ Oh fuck off Joe, you want this interview or not?”
Sorry Yu, continue, please,
“ we are stuck between the Vogons and the IT, and we shouldn’t trust either, I think they are teaming up, and I have a plan to counter it all,”
You mean like with MMA moves? Or maybe some UFC shit?
“No Joe, I’m going to tell you about the Weapon, I hope you are ready…”
Sure Dude, do you Partake?
Oh fuck, Yes Joe I smoke”
“2 races have the Weapon as far as we know, us and Elon, we are certain others have it, the tech is easier than anyone thought, drive a mini black hole to the center of a star and stand back! The entire system goes up, and just vanishes, we kept the secret as long as we could, but now we fear Elon is selling it to other races, this is not good but Elon does what he wants”
Trippy Man, is this like a problem? Or should we just do comedy shows?
“Joe, if we don’t act, there will be no comedy clubs for you to play in, it’s not funny at all”
That’s heavy man, I use these Vitamin Supplements every day and….
Ten Minutes later
Wow, guys, we are joined by the Elon, how’s it going Elon?
“Sup Elon”
Hello Yusef I Have Been Watching Your adventures, learning Anything new?
“Just that you have a hand in all this, and I don’t know where your Alliances stand”
Yusef, may I call you Joe? I have nothing but the best intentions for Humanity, and I shall protect it, I have over 200 systems under my Control, including all of yours, didn’t see that one, did you?
These are My Worlds now, and will be protected,
“To what end Elon? Just more consumerism? Is that all it is anymore? What happened to the stars?”
Oh, I have plenty for now, now we have a bigger issue, and I can fix it, with one condition…
“ I don’t want to know”
Yusef, you don’t want to know,
“Thanks Elon, hey Joe, I’m out, maybe from the Galaxy, I wish Humanity Good Luck”
That’s Yusef checking out for now, Elon, do you partake?…..
First.
L2P, you can’t get a first here, try the Links for satisfaction,
“Duh, our Ship runs on THC”
I read that as “Duh, our Ship runs on THICC”/
This is Yusef, not CP.
Good point.
It would be redheads for Yusef.
You are correct,
What about Christina Hendricks?
Oh God yes, hmm, Ideas,
Nitpick: Hendricks is a natural blonde.
Hendricks, a natural blonde, began coloring her hair red at age 10, inspired by the book Anne of Green Gables
She didn’t change her hips or tits, I’m OK with it,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkd3y_yz2dI
You mean like with MMA moves? Or maybe some UFC shit?
This brought back memories of watching the Alex Jones Joe Rogan episode involving choking (and a lot of other stuff).
I used his Spotify podcasts as a format,
/Ten minutes later..
“To what end Elon? Just more consumerism? Is that all it is anymore? What happened to the stars?”
Oh, I have plenty for now, now we have a bigger issue, and I can fix it, with one condition…
“ I don’t want to know”
Yusef, you don’t want to know,
Hmm.. guess I gotta wait until next time.
Story Mondays here is my favorite. Thanks Yusef
Thank you Sir! not done yet…
They call it story Monday, but Tuesday’s just as bad.
The Eagle flies on Friday..
#metoo
I’d like to thank C. Anacreon for answering my question. Thanks 🙂
Did he give you any of the good drugs? 🙂
Well, no, but not sure there would be any drugs that would help.
And the diagnosis is…?
Lupus.
Shit. Sorry CP.
No, you guys are making this up?
Woah, sorry, being a smart-ass and making a “House” joke (it’s never lupus).
No idea what doc told CP.
Whelp I just overcooked the shit out of a piece of pork loin.
I guess it’s Plan B.
Sandwiches tomorrow,
Never let meat go to waste. They’re are starving children in Detroit.
Yes. Harvest the children now before they waste away completely. The first of firsters has spoken.
You have wisdom, Welcome friend,
In shame I burnt a side of the hotdogs cause didnt realize the grill was so hot. Luckily they were the larger sized so I shaved off the crispy to salvage.
Hot dogs aren’t hot dogs if they aren’t seared in places and have a little black on them.
This is knowledge. It is known.
Not a big fan of hot dogs but this isn’t wrong.
Correct. The people have spoken.
I like my hot dogs burnt, crispy, and swollen.
These euphemisms…
Erm….
Ripper dogs.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ripper_(food)
They were melting into the cast iron pan…I enjoy char but these were rendering down into charcoal
So has anyone around here pointed out the direct correlation between vaccination rates slowing and the cunts in the Biden administration finally caving on masks for vaccinated individuals? It’s almost like they realized that people aren’t going to get a shot if they’re just going to have to keep engaging in covid theater.
Imma guess he don’t want to get shown up by the governors who are scared to death of getting the Newsom treatment. Couple that with the barrage of shitty results Biden seems to be stockpiling and the desperation to say something positive that has some tiny ring of truth, and this is the best guess I have.
It’d be nice to have media that actually questioned the edicts coming out of the bureaucracy and Biden admin. There’s no new evidence to justify the change in position. Not that they had any to support it to begin with, but if you were saying it on Monday and nothing changes on Tuesday, you should be saying the same thing.
Redhedz 4 Yusef.
https://archive.li/bxJgx
#8 is not a readhead. That’s a dirty blond. I feel cheated.
Just don’t tell your right hand.
Fun facts: The Bro is a righty in all but a few circumstances. Handling the First Penis being one of them.
I’m sure lefty can handle the truth.
3
Young Ladies creep me out, I like 40 plus, real Women,
My daughters and nieces are 34-40 Can’t look at those links.
Granddaughters are climbing into those ranges (18 up). No, no.
Daughter is 34, yikes!
My daughters are getting older but my appreciation of young women isn’t.
Then you’re in luck, because the older you get the more the odds will be in your favor. Men outnumber women for all ages up until the 50s, but after that women outnumber men, by increasing margins.
48. If we’re talking redheads, I demand freckles.
If you took any of them outside for 10 minutes they will have freckles.
My older sister got the lion’s share of the freckles.
I mainly just get sunburnt. 🙁
The left continues to eat its own.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/macys-target-pull-chrissy-teigen-cookware-line
That’s a shame. /Seinfeld
LOL @ woke shitstains.
“Teigen, the wife of singer John Legend, posted an apology”
NEVER APOLOGIZE
I hope they all die in a fucking fire.
Hyperion gets it.
It’s like a hell world where we all went back to one big kindergarten and selected the worst whiney ass brat tattletales that everyone absolutely abhors and select them all as the the center of attention for our entire civilization.
Seriously, there is no fate horrific enough to be fitting for every one of these malicious deranged malcontents.
I don’t know if this “controversy” even registered enough to cause companies to react. I think it’s really just a coincidence.
Maybe. But I’m happier thinking they are picking at each other.
See you on the other side!
The Other Side of Madness https://youtu.be/jriBnevO5z4
Can I play with Madness
Midnight Madness and Beyond https://youtu.be/-bS0oMAf3UY
Midnight Maniac
I’ll have to explore the Cro-Mags albums
Your wish is my command.
https://youtu.be/-9yYJ6ZAYns
How do I make the stupid thumbs up thing?
Like this?: ?
Woohoo! B’s win!
The Little Ball of Hate with the OT winner
Did it bounce in off his nose?
That’s more of a prow than a nose.
I knew exactly who he meant too.
One of the greatest nicknames in sports.
It’s no Big Unit, but it’s up there.
Never heard the nickname. Just guessed.
Pat Verbeek would like a word with you
Not sure how much of this I’m supposed to follow, but I’m enjoying the ride.
I pretty much try to ignore most of it and just laugh at the stupidity of the situation but I am growing tired of it all and not sure how I’m going to continue dealing with it.
Heard that. I was talking about Yusef’s story, though.
tnt hacked Tejicano’s account.
What’s a tnt?
Top Notch Toledo.
I don’t even know where I am, how the fuck did I get here?
That’s not your beautiful house. That’s not your beautiful wife.
Same as it ever was… same as it ever was…
Ahg… I wasn’t talking about Yusef’s story. I’m looking forward to following this one here.
I didn’t understand a… well, OK. Ship runs on THC.
I’m taking a vitamin, not sure which one, no one knows.
I’m talking to Elon Musk and he cares…
No one knows how the ship runs, but it’s black… oh yeah, it runs on THC…
OK, yeah I didn’t … I’m lost here…
Third revision to the state’s new mask policy and they’re now saying they’re still working on final rules. Their trial balloons keep getting shot down by other states, including NY, going further than they are to match the CDC guidance.
The dam is breaking on this version of govt sponsored theater. What a precedent this one set, though.
Was ready to do my lunch hour sketch when I got the creepy feeling I was being watched.
https://ibb.co/4S0LFPv
Sky rat!
Look out! He’s got a gun!
https://archive.li/HKPbN/723903a3dc050cbf33e6c95a9ec62e8a53022d35.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/w9XN8/5ee909aa8b59164acd9575d731cef89a7fa52475.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/sGAG0/b283b9eb105d74c2dca1efd86a54fdddb4f6b724.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/k5exN/f28acf197edaf0435f3fd799d5b562ba399b954e.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/S3Q2H/1591dca2619afff54c7c455e7f3055a288171938.jpg
NSFW.
I can get behind her. And by get behind….
Sarah Ferguson?
She reminds me of Shirley Manson.
I sort of see that.
This one is a keeper. The interesting thing about the titty links you bring to the table is the reactions people have. Some of you fucks have weird if not poor taste in women.
And by keeper I’m referencing the one in the second link.
Interesting since the first and the last were clearly the best.
Hey slumbrew, have you tried either of the Jabra units you mentioned last night with Dragon Naturally Speaking? Also, in general terms, how does Jabra compare to Nose?
Sorry, I have not used Dragon with these.
I’m not familiar with Nose.
Whoops. Contra autocorrect, I meant Bose.
Hah, my brain didn’t make that connection.
I’ve not used Bose. These are the most expensive ear buds I’ve ever purchased.
II don’t regret that purchase at all.
Thanks. How about the headphones you pointed out?
Sorry, strictly used for video conferencing. What am I, a lawyer? I type for a living. 😉
Are you a cat?
I think it’s more of a hobby for cats.
1. Thanks anyway.
2. Me too (on the typing part.) I’m trying to do less of it.
The zoom glibs might get this one.
https://ibb.co/j5xpr54
Fake news, my witty remarks always land, That is a sweet drawing of I0b0t tho.
It makes me look like a tough young cholo, or dead hard geezer as they say in Britain. I’ll take it.
No way that is Lobot. Beard is too short. That is Festus’s mustache but it needs to be bushier.
Not bad! Sorta looks like me but you left out the indolence and ennui. Kidding!
I0b0t is much more handsome than that gargoyle.
Fun game show.
https://mobile.twitter.com/cheazeborger420/status/1391943381907951618
Underneath
https://twitter.com/stevensongs/status/1394148609596084224?s=20
That’s about right. Future Columbine alum.
Future libertarian.
I’m not sure whey they keep creating us if they hate us so much.
That kid is going home to learn the lyrics to Copkiller.
Nah. He’ll probably turn out fucked up.
You all suck balls.
https://mobile.twitter.com/Fernndouglas/status/1390414267132809216
You’re the worst, Straff
I don’t but this guy might.
https://twitter.com/BeMoreAlpha/status/1394045879120707584?s=20
I was hoping that was the Bee. Oy.
Oy. Indeed.
I’m grateful to the guy. It’s the right action even if it’s for the wrong reason.
No reason not to just do a complete geld.
Well, there’s for sure something wrong with y’all.
I guess that’s why I keep coming here, craving a sense of normalcy.
Look who went woke. *scratches head* I have no idea what she is thinking.
https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2021/05/17/ex-porn-star-mia-khalifa-who-got-death-threats-from-isis-calls-israel-the-only-threat-to-democracy-in-the-middle-east/
Yeah, Really don’t care, so long as their reverse cowgirl is on point, whatever else they think is a money shot in the wind,
Funniest “Only in Japan” story I’ve heard this week –
A lady in my office went to her niece’s wedding over the weekend. It was an arranged marriage and both bride and groom were in their late 30s. Japanese weddings often feature a member of the extended family performing music – either an instrument or singing. One uncle was supposed to sing but wasn’t able to make it so instead of just skipping it they put in a substitution – the groom’s mother (who runs a kindergarten) performed a kiddie’s puppet show.
Are you pulling my leg? I want to believe this is real but come on.
True story. She had pictures from the wedding.
Did the puppets show the young couple what was expected of them on the wedding night, Team America style?
I guess you didn’t notice or get the significance of the “arranged marriage” part.
When the groom kissed the bride he kissed her on the forehead. From what I heard it seems that they have never spent private time together and I doubt it will be a while before anything gets consummated.
I’m 99% sure buying this product is probable cause for arrest.
https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2021/05/17/shop-owner-explains-that-their-1-inch-long-knitted-prosthetic-penises-arent-for-trans-infants-or-very-young-children-but-they-couldve-fooled-us/
Uh,,,,,what? Never mind, I don’t want to know
Not clicking that – even if I wasn’t at work.
I’m not even going to ask WTF those are for.
Y’all would still be up if you weren’t so fucking lame. I just wrote some code. Looks good, I’ll have to talk with the client tomorrow. *drinks another beer*
I don’t know why you’re up. I’m at work in the middle of the day.
Dude, it’s like 1:55 AM in the real world.
Not all of us spend our nights trolling truck stop restroom gloryholes. We have shit to do in the morning.
Sure you do, it’s just that none of us know what it is.
Listening to a husband/wife team that wrote software together, I learned that when they got stuck in some code that needed work, they’d add the comment “drunk; fix later” which became “DFL” for short.
I loved it because that’s the official legal name of the Minnesota democrat party: “Democrat Farmer/Labor”.
The Drunk; Fix Later party.
Only no one remembered to fix it.
What a freaking socialist political party name though. Tundra, Jimbo, Fourscore, and other MN Glibs, this Bud’s for you.
While filling the dog’s prescription I was offered a covid vaccine the pharmacy had going spare. Uh, no thanks.
I didn’t realize the EUAs had been extended to canines already.
Why do you hate puppies?
/bleeding heart jackbooted karen
You want to hear something profound?
After the first time Steve Gaines jammed on stage with Lynrd Skyrnd, Ronnie Van Zandt said ‘One day we’ll all live in that guy’s shadow’.
Prophet confirmed.
Nice work, Yusef!
Kind of makes me wish I could “partake.”
Hopefully, the Elon is a beneficent Star Consciousness…
Thanks! Elon however….
Mark Steyn reflects on his statements right after the Jan 6th protest at the US Capitol building:
The Viking horn face paint guy is in his 4th month of incarceration because his activist judge says:
So no bail for you!!
I’m sure he’ll get a fair trial though. Just like the guy whose amateur video caused the Benghazi attacks got.
Well, this is cheery start to the day. I did like Emirs of Incumbistan though.
In other happy news, I found a letter in my pile of to do on the way out the door this morning. Property theft assessment… $400 increase. Fuck me.
Re: property theft insurance.
“Rioting / looting is a victimless crime; they have insurance.”
Something about foreseeable consequences….
QAnon Shaman is a nutbar who deserves a fair trial but won’t get one. As for the blatant disregard for the law, isn’t that the case for every unconvicted defendant who’s been accused of a crime if the assumption is being made that they’re guilty pretrial?
That was exactly my question! If the judge takes it for granted that the defendant has broken the law before the trail gets underway, isn’t that a sign that no fair trial will be happening? Is it grounds for a mistrial/ dismissal?
He didn’t even bother with language like “allegedly” or “the accused”.
Burden of proof is still on the prosecution, assholes. Even if the defendant has a screw loose.
That will be interesting given the video proof that the cops let him in, he told his “followers” or whatever to behave, etc.
Seems to me he’s still in jail because they haven’t conjured up their proof yet.
You think the video showing that (I think) the capitol police let them into the building will help these people at all?
I’m not sure it matters…
Fun story. Elon needs a Gorebot.
Hello everybody! did I miss anyting? I guess not
Mornin’, Yu. Looks like it was a quiet night.
Morning, y’all! I’m awake but shouldn’t be. My mind is racing with thoughts of work. I need to leave that shit at the office but I don’t know how to do that.
Hoping for a nice day anyway.
I’m running behind, I still need to shower,
/Lazy Bum…
Morning.
I just read
“Fall seven times; stand up eight.”
It is attributed as Japanese Proverb. Our Japan dwelling Glibs contingent can tell us if it’s really a Japanese proverb and if so, is it well known.
七転び八起き
That’s the saying in Japanese. I can’t say for sure that it was or wasn’t borrowed from some other culture.
That’s how I learned to ski
PA primary today.
Imma go vote.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LQhX8PbNUWI
?
What’s the most important part of the primary?
A state question or a potential office holder?
This year, it’s all about limiting the governor’s power via amendments in PA.
Good luck! Hopefully the lazy assed folk and the risk averse nutters will stay home cowering while the rest of you vote for robust protection against govt overreach.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/05/17/6-year-old-girl-shot-near-west-philadelphia-zoo-police/
No arrests. Mighty fine police work there, Lou.
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/berks/fire-ambulance-stolen-in-reading-crashed-in-lancaster-county/article_e10fc384-b731-11eb-9dcc-a31bd2753964.html
That mug shot…
I guess we know why he crashed.
Silly man, you already voted. You just didn’t know it.
Good morning everyone. Home from work, sippin’ a nice creme brulee stout while waiting to wake up the kids for school; then, it’s a day off full of laundry and assorted household chores. Rat-Faced Andy The Mobbed-Up Lawyer has announced NY’s mask mandate ends on Wednesday; I would imagine he has new accusers coming out of the woodwork.
I would pay good money to see an old photo of him holding up a #believeher sign.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/05/joe-biden-ultimately-not-vaccinated-will-end-paying-price-video/
Wut?
Shut up, retard.
Ultimately Joe will face judgement before the throne of God.
It’s not my business to speculate, because
But I dare say that Joe will ultimately pay for his choices too.
One thing I do trust the government to do is follow through on threats against it’s own people.
Though, that may be an in uncharitable reading of his comments.
One aspect of this whole COVID deal that strikes me is how so freaking many people don’t understand that in the next few years the largest majority of us will catch this virus. It might be a weakened version by the time it gets to you but it’s already in the population and it’s here to stay.
Been there, done that, bought the T shirt, cremated the remains, cant they just Fuck Off already?
Yes, the “pandemic” ended about Sept 2020, if not earlier. It is endemic now.
The Babylon Bee Guide To Choosing Safer Activities
The best joke was in the scroll at the bottom though, “CDC now recommends wearing your seat belt, even while outside the car,”
That’s wonderful! And of course, I forgot to pay attention to the crawl text. Now I have to go back and watch it again.
Good morning, C!
IMO, they saved the best for last: “All Scientists Forced To Retire After Realizing The Science Is Now Settled.”
Good morning all,
At one time I was recommending mandatory seat belts in boats, in case the boat tipped over. Then I stopped, ’cause I was afraid the MN DNR would pick up on that and mandate it.
At least victim recovery would be easier.
If you went further and mandated all boats have to be self righting that could work. It would make boats a bit more expensive though. (no I am not advocating more regs on boats. There are enough)
The rest of the week is gonna suck, under staffed and deadlines I won’t make, 2 Bosses fighting over me for use in their projects, quite hectic, Ill smoke another bowl and forget about it,
Isn’t it nice to be indispensable? Of course, no one is completely “indispensable,” but as far as I know, I’m still forbidden from retiring until my (three-ish years younger) boss does.
In a way,it is, the bosses butt heads a lot, and I get stuck in the middle, that I dont like, what can you do? Still a good job,
I hear that. Indispensable also means that that the problems always fall into your lap. That’s why they pay us. Mornin’ Red!
I thought the army would collapse when I retired.
Looks like I was right, took a little longer than I figured, though.
I’ll bet you never thought it would happen this way, though.
See comment #18 above for a pretty fair portrait of your old buddy Festus. Straff is really coming along.
He left out the squarish head and flop sweat, though.
Good morning, all! (Too little coffee yet and too many of you about for a full Reverse Walton.) I’m pumped! Just booked a weekend away with TT at Maumee Bay State Park’s lodge for the weekend after our 25th anniversary – and after OH’s mask mandate goes away! (Would go for longer, but haven’t left the two tom cats home alone for that long before. Must ensure disaster doesn’t ensue.)
Congrats on 25, GT! Bump a coffee for me when you’re out celebrating…
Thanks, 4(20)! Only took me two tries. Took him three! 😉
Twice for me too. We’ve never tied the knot but for all intents and purposes…
Some people just need more OJT than others. ?
I always need to do things the right way and what would be the point if only one half of the happy couple’s family and friends showed? She has friends and family. I do not have any IRL.
Seconds on the 25th! There seems to be a few of us celebrating that milestone this year. Millstone?
I am coming up on 21 years without the millstone. General consensus it has been for the best.
My first was the worst. Congrats on your freedom!
Congrats GT!
what day is it?
where am I ?
Did I do my taxes ?
The crib smells like beer, shame, and angst. And dried Astro-Glide.
I really need to stop having nights off.
What bar did you end up at? That sounds hellish.
Did mine yesterday. Big hit but I knew it was coming and was prepared.
It’s Tuesday, which at Chez GT/TT is Fish Stick Day!
If these squirrels keep chattering at each other outside my office/workshop, I’m going to have squirrel on a stick for lunch.
The only fish that I like is battered. Battered to a pulp! Fish Sticks!
And dried Astro-Glide.
TMI
Going to go vote in the PA “Hopefully rein in our insane governor” election today.
We also have school board elections. Looking at the local paper’s profile of the candidates in my school district, it’s clear by which photos they chose to run who they endorse. For one of the candidates, an incumbent who is “concerned with spending,” they somehow got a scan of his driver’s license or passport and used that picture. It’s awful–looks like a mug shot.
On the other hand, they have some nice pictures of other candidates who are concerned with spending and fought to keep the schools open for in person learning.
There are several candidates that are PSEA (PA state education association) approved, and you can bet they’re not worth voting for.
I did my voting already and I am at work now. Yay.
If your avatar votes Dem that counts as two votes.