THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

ITS NICE WE DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS ANYMORE.  THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE AGAIN, AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.  THE MEAN TWEETS ARE SILENCED AND THE Q CONSPIRACISTS ARE ROTTING QUIETLY IN THEIR HOLDING CELLS.  THE WORLD’S DESCENT INTO MADNESS IS NOW BUOYED BY THE CALM, RATIONAL DEMEANOR OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARGE.

THE THOUGHT OF THE ORANJ MAN LURKING IN SILENT DESPAIR ON TWITTER ON HIS FREEDOM PHONE ENGORGES MY SYNTHETIC GENITALS.

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THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED

Date:  25 August 2021, 1800 (UTC)

Location:  Vandenburg SFB, CA

“We identified the anomaly again, xir.  It appears to be coalescing around a Chinese military satellite in the alpha quadrant.”  Specialist Hernandez said.

”This better not be another one of those ISS waste gates, again.” Major Blutarsky said as xhe arrived out of the officer of the day quarters.  “I don’t like when my meditation routine is interrupted.”

”No xir, this is not another shit storm.  The radar signature is different.”  Specialist Hernandez replied.

”Its called opening the waste gate.  I expect a Spaceperson to be a professional and act professionally with a bearing befitting of a professional in the profession of arms.

….Waste.  Gate.  Specialist.  Understand?”

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THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

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”Xir, you realize your beard would be considered out of regs if you still identified as male?”  Specialist Hernandez replied.

”I don’t need this shit from you, Specialist.”  Xhe rubbed her chin, as the 0200 shadow was a bit itchy.  “What is it?”

”The anomaly moved through a debris field and appeared to collide with Yunhai 1-02.  The Chinese state media are beginning to report it collided with the debris field.”

”That’s not whats happening.  What is this?”

”It looks more like the Russian module that fired its thrusters unexpectedly a few weeks ago.”  Specialist Hernandez said.  “Thrusting off and on and off and on.”

”That’s a little too close to the truth there La Bamba.  What else do you know?”  A tallow skinned man in a cheap, tan suit emerged slowly through a cloud of cigarette smoke out of the officer of the day quarters.  Wet, yellow stains encircled his armpits.  Major Blutarsky could only stare at the moist wool material around the man’s breasts.  The stench of menthols, Nashville hot barbecue sauce, gas station sushi, and Santorum filled the air.

”How…did you get past Security Forces?”  Major Blutarsky asked.

”What?  The Chair Force guys?”  The man replied, trying to contain hoarse laughter.  He looked Major Blutarsky up and down.  “I don’t even know how to insult you.  What the fuck are you?”

“Well…I am outraged by—“

”This IS an outrage!  This whole thing is SPACE SMITH.  The Russian thrusters, Chicoms losing control of a rocket, the Space Force being run by women, randos flapping in a C-17 wheel well, this Chinese shit storm.”

”Waste Gate”

”Don’t interrupt me!  Its all SPACE SMITH! An transcendentalist being that rapes everything on its way through time and space!”

”Are you one of those Q people?” Major Blutarsky asked.

”Are you one of those people that believe the media?  Next you’re going to tell me there really are troops in Taiwan, frogs aren’t gay, there really were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, John Roberts is being blackmailed because of his ties to Epstein, and the president wasn’t rubbing one out while Kabul burned.”

”I…can’t even.”  Major Blutarsky replied.

”I’m going back to my station.”  Specialist Hernandez said.  “You guys are retarded.”

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THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

ITS NICE WE DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS ANYMORE.  THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE AGAIN, AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.  THE MEAN TWEETS ARE SILENCED AND THE Q CONSPIRACISTS ARE ROTTING QUIETLY IN THEIR HOLDING CELLS.  THE WORLD’S DESCENT INTO MADNESS IS NOW BUOYED BY THE CALM, RATIONAL DEMEANOR OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARGE.

THE THOUGHT OF THE ORANJ MAN LURKING IN SILENT DESPAIR ON TWITTER ON HIS FREEDOM PHONE ENGORGES MY SYNTHETIC GENITALS.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED