I’m back motherf***ers. Thanks to Westernsloper for his unexpected guest spot last week. It was fun reading someone else’s column through my bloodshot eyes.

Being that it’s Labor Day weekend, many (all?) of you are enjoying yourselves and drinking to excess. When it’s all over, some of you are going to ask what you need to do to get back in shape. Well… you’ll ask after your hangover subsides.

This seems like a good time to discuss what motivates you to workout. I’m broadly defining workout. It can be anything that get’s you off your ass and gets your heart pumping. Sports, lifting weights, walking, running, biking, jumping rope, skateboarding, and so forth all count.

One sciencey article posits, “Motivation to be active is quite a complex equation and involves numerous factors that influence our behaviour. Things like age, general health, our environment, genetic factors, education level, ethnic origin, weight, stress, and social support all affect our motivation to exercise. Our perception of exercise can also affect our willingness to be active. Things like the perceived effort involved or our confidence in our ability to be physically active (behavioural control) and our ideas about being active in a specific situation (self-efficacy) all contribute to our decision to exercise.”

I’m somewhat skeptical education and ethnic origin affect a person’s motivation. The rest of it seems plausible.

Personally, my motivation is multifaceted. Working out first thing in the morning gives me a feeling of accomplishment I haven’t found anywhere else. There is no missing the stress reduction I get through the rest of my day. Even trials and other assorted court hearings are more manageable when I worked out. There is something in the back of my mind telling me that even if the hearing goes to shit, I still got my workout in. No one can take that away from me.

I swear my thinking is clearer and sharper when I work out. I can’t accurately describe what’s happening, but I have the feeling my mental performance is better than it is when I’m sedentary.

Vanity plays a minor role in motivating me. Feeling good about myself when I look in the mirror matters. Finding my jeans are a little loose or I need a more fitted shirt strokes my ego and reminds me the effort is worth it.

As I’m getting older, the health benefits also matter to me. In my line of work I regularly learn why someone died. I also hear stories of loved ones who were in decline, often for years, before they died. Every time I hear a story about some preventable disease, I just think there is no way I’m going to allow that to happen to me. I would rather run at high noon in the summer than have uncontrolled diabetes. If dementia can be reduced or warded off through exercise, then I’m all in.

So Gliberati, put down your drink for a moment and let us know what motivates you to workout.

This week’s music. I’ll just add it seems appropriate for this weekend. I’ll also add a preemptive “fuck you, MikeS.” It’s a good song.

Weekly cuteness.