“George Bush does not care about Black people,” Joe said confidently. “Look at his handling of the hurricane in Iran! Shameful! Disgraceful! We can not allow The War on Terror to become a forever war against New Orleans! The Forever War is a book I have not read. We could not afford a prolonged withdrawal from Vietnam, so we will stay that until Every Armenian Is Home Safe!”
“Just sit down, Mr. President,” Jen said, trying to herd him toward the desk.
“Jesus,” Finnegan said, “Look at his fucking pupils! His iris is gone. How much did you give him?!?”
“I’m told I can’t take any questions,” Joe said and began to fondle Jen’s right breast.
“You’ve got to get him to stop saying that,” Jen told Finnegan.
“You’re the one that said he couldn’t take any questions!”
“Oh, I’m not supposed to talk about that,” Joe said. Jen used her breasts to back him into his desk chair and he sat down heavily.
“You’ve got the best strawberries,” he said to Jen, reaching out for her breasts. “Red and juicy and scaled in black seeds.”
“Yes, Mr. President,” Jen said. She crossed her arms and backed away.
“What the fuck is going on in here?!?” Dr. Jill Biden demanded as she entered the Oval Office.
“Dr. Grandma!” Finnegan said, scuttling toward her for a hug.
Dr. Jill Biden stopped her with a raised hand. “There’s no time for sentimentality, Finny.” She walked over to Joe and took his head in her hands.
“Hello, dear,” he said. “I just won the war.”
Dr. Jill Biden pulled a penlight out of her floral blazer and stabbed light into Joe’s eyes, flicking the light away in intervals.
“There’s no pupilarial response,” she gasped. She pressed two fingers to the carotid artery in his neck. “And his pulse is sky-high.”
“Dr. Ma’am,” Jen said.
“You, shut up,” Dr. Jill Biden said, stabbing the penlight at her.
She turned to Finnegan when Jen shrank away. “We need to get him in the pod, Finnegan.”
“The pod? Now? There’s just so much going on.”
“I have to airlift out the citizens of Galveston!” Joe screamed, going rigid, shaking, then falling back into his chair.
“Saline!” Dr. Jill Biden shouted. “And someone lactate some ringers STAT!”
“Major,” Joe moaned, his eyes staring. “Major!”
“He’s in Delaware, Grandpa,” Finnegan said.
“The Secret Service is trying to kill me!” Joe screamed. “MAJOR!”
“No one is trying to kill you, Grandpa,” Finnegan said, petting his head and scratching lightly behind his ears.
“Where is that orderly!” Dr. Jill Biden screamed and ran out of the Oval Office.
Finnegan saw Joe’s eyes swim back into focus as they stopped darting around the room.
“You’re the only one I trust, Nelly,” he whispered to Finnegan as the light went out in his eyes.
“Dr. Grandma!” Finnegan screamed. “Grandpa’s died again!”
“STAT!” Dr. Jill Biden yelled back. “STAT!”
That’s a Nightmare,GhAAA!
Nice.
Nice.
“Where is that orderly!” Dr. Jill Biden screamed
Dr. Ma’am and Dr grandma. Awesome.
LOL
I wish it weren’t so believable.
If you’re not going to sow Joe’s head on Kamala, I call false advertising on the header art! I’m going to sue that ‘artist’ for all Theys worth!
Is that in case you want a crop of Bidens?
“STAT!” Dr. Jill Biden yelled back. “STAT!”
*chef’s kiss
Your response to ‘splosives in the last thread was brilliant. Thanks for that.
Thank you. I’m glad it was well received.
Right out of the gate. Good one, SF.
I still say the Tolly Bon screwed up. They should have posted a pic of themselves in the Presidential Palace (or whatever lavish estate we built for our puppets) with a big ‘Mission Accomplished banner. It would have wrapped up the story nicely.
They had their troll game on for awhile there, but yeah, dropped the ball on that opportunity.
Welp, here’s hoping they die in a fire. Just not one delivered from US warplanes.
On 9/11 it’s going to self Detonate, we rigged it with explosives before we left
In a plot twist, the explosives were made by a no bid contract and don’t detonate. Jet Fuel can’t melt a concept!
The explosives will blame the failure on their predecessors, the detonators.
Well, those detonators were Orange…
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a reboot of Haunted Tank. Except, instead of J.E.B. Stuart possessing an M3 Stuart, it’s Ahmad Shah Massoud – “The Lion of Panjshir” providing the machine spirit for a ZSU-23-4 Shilka.
We are creative, I’ll say that,
The DCEU would the POWN the MCU! Diversity (and ignoring our failures) is our strength!
Right? So very much winning. The Haunted Shilka could mow down Tolly-Bon trying to stop the little girls from going to the schoolhouse and learning the importance of intersectional feminism.
The Democrat Central Education Unit?
Muslim Cristian Understanding?
Honestly, if they had done that, it would have given the US governmedia a win, since they could immediately bring in GWB as a distraction/scapegoat.
They are some savvy religious fanatics.
“Dr. Grandma!” Finnegan said, scuttling toward her for a hug.
I guffawed. Extraordinary success, mister Free
I sincerely hope that “Extraordinary Success” becomes a universal euphemism for “catastophic failure” because of this. At least as long-lived as “Mission Accomplished” itself, hopefully.
This is why I love this group.
Very much dated, but suddenly relevant again. (I actually went to high school with the guy that made this.)
Talk about a dive into the ancient ruins of the internet!
I was actually kind of surprised that Albino Blacksheep was still a going concern.
It seems so…plausible.
Once again excellent writing, yet still unsettling.
…Dr. Jill Biden…
Nice.
Bravo, SF!
OT: When did the Left become so cool with the idea that hospitals should refuse to treat unvaccinated people? I thought healthcare was a human right that must not ever be denied for any reason whatsoever, and also that anything that has a disparate impact on minorities is tantamount to explicit racism (last I heard, black people are distrustful of government promises of free healthcare procedures for some crazy conspiracy nutjob reason).
My question to any Left-leaning person who expresses that view is going to be, “So you support a policy that denies the human right of healthcare and disproportionately affects minorities?”
Yeah, just let a libertarian say something like “If you can’t pay for healthcare, then depend on charity or do without.”
It’s fucking weird.
And in arguing about the best way to achieve affordable, accessible healthcare, I have brought up mutual aid societies, which tended to do a very good job of paying for major medical expenses. But one of the caveats was that they wouldn’t cover things that were deemed to be the result of “vice” such as venereal diseases or alcoholism-related ailments*.
I was told that this is morally unconscionable and that everyone must get the healthcare they need regardless of what bad decisions they might have made. Funny how that goes out the window when we’re talking about a decision that is unpopular with rich urbanite Leftists. Let’s see the reaction if we deny treatment for HIV/AIDS (since the vast majority of those cases are from unprotected man-to-man sex or IV drug use).
* Note that I’ve never said that those people should be prohibited from getting treatment at all, but there’s nothing wrong with some financial incentives to avoid unhealthy lifestyle decisions.
I *think* I know you mean private ones, but there’s a gigantic problem with this brewing.
Unthinking deference to private choice is self-defeating in a end-stage corporofascist system. Until and unless govt minds its own business, we’re fighting with one arm if we keep ignoring the government-induced private sector discrimination.
Paying cash for minor medical care and having catastrophic health insurance for major medical care was the norm until government mandated wage controls during WWII.
Kaiser Permanente started a health clinic and health insurance plan so they could get workers.
Notice any similarities? Governments fucks up the free market wages for America then companies adapt and provide their own medical care insurance or medical. Then government fucks up the free market health insurance and hospital system with ObamaCare, Medicare, etc. Then government starts mandating vaccines and other medical things which fucks up America.
To what are you referring?
You’re giving away a stolen base there.
I think he’s petard-hoisting.
So they do understand moral hazard! (setting aside faulty premises)
Hospitals can make a ton of money (from the government) for treating Covid so they will probably if anything they’ll prioritize them.
Yes – a project I’m trying to get done in a hospital is on hold right now so they can build out a whole floor for the excepted covid surge.
Most hospitals make most of their money from Medicare and federal ER reimbursements. Elective surgeries are another money maker.
Democrat states have cut back on elective surgeries until recently.
The hospitals are not going to turn away paying customers to satisfy wokesters who already hurt the bottom line for the last 18 months.
When government is paying for all our healthcare, it will definitely be used as a tool to ban behavior that the good people, the science followers, deem undesirable. It already is to some degree with helmet and seatbelt laws, but it will definitely be ramped up.
All we need are telescreens.
You’re not working hard enough. Winston!
Eventually you could even earn Fifteen Million Merits.
Never watched that show, but the plot summary was pretty disturbing.
Black Mirror has quite a few like that. Think Twilight Zone focused on near future tech.
Nosedive is another that was supposed to be a dystopian comedy.
Might check it out. I love the old twilight Zone.
Ditto, re Nosedive episode.
oh noes ?
If you didn’t know, they did release the sounds for the various ratings from the Nosedive episode.
Yeah, but his mother is!
Strangely, this apropos page still exists on Wikipedia.
For some reason, wikipedia has not loaded for me at all today.
Oh, there’s a reason. I can’t tell you right now, you see.
The court of Nazguls determined that the ObamaCare “law” makes health insurance a tax that you must pay. You also must pay your federal taxes, which go to medicare. Abortion must also be federally funded.
This is how Communism works. Everyone must contribute and submit or you get the gulags.
You’re presuming that they weren’t lying all along.
They don’t really want healthcare for everybody, just those who agree with and support them.
I don’t think that’s quite accurate – they do want healthcare for everybody, but they also want to reserve the right to take it away from the ‘bad people’.
Less about getting things for their friends, and more about punishing their enemies.
A distinction without a difference
What they want is power.
OT:
She’s 62.
Deal with the devil?
Olive skin, nonsmoker, probably knows some good doctors?
also, stays on top of gray hairs?
These euphemisms!
It’s that ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ work out regimen….also timewise related and super awesome, Powerman 5000 covered We Got the Beat by the Go-Gos.
Would.
Prince purified her in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. He did that with most of his women.
Damn.
Elon is right.
Financiers taking credit for the work of those they hire doesn’t make me excited, especially when all their ventures suck on the government teat.
I don’t really blame the companies (Free revenue? Yes please.) as much as the politicians that keep voting themselves favors to dole out.
Of course, he is THE ELON
Hell yes!
That outfit seems to have been inspired by Dr. Evil.
Or Zoolander.
LOL I was joking about the mu variant, guys.
I thought using the geographic point of origin for a name was racist. What’s next the Lemurian and Atlantean variants?
I’ve got the Ligma variant.
I thought that was mad cow disease.
This is just cow disease. The mad variant has umlauts.
Isn’t that the metal variant?
They’re all Xi variants.
https://nypost.com/2021/09/01/illinois-woman-chloe-mrozak-arrested-for-using-fake-covid-19-vaccine-card/
They’re going to make an example of this poor girl, aren’t they?
They should also arrested the teachers who were supposed to teach her how to write.
Or spell.
Pepperidge Farm remembers when ordinary Americans would recoil at the creeping totalitarianism. Now they’re celebrating it.
Aren’t those filled out by doctors or other hospital staff? Are we really sure that misspellings “must” be an indication of Trumpian anti-vaxxer forgery?
MAderna though?
She writes with a midwestern accent.
Doctors.
I trusted my surgeon to slice up my intestines but I don’t know if I’d trust him to fill out a prescription or other Papieren.
Knowing what letters to write next and knowing what parts not to cut are different skillsets.
Yeah but she also got the shot at the NRA so…not the brightest. However, I am unsure how they are attributing her to Trump/MAGA or whatever..unless the trusty internet sleuths went searching.
They’re not attributing that but you can be sure that is what most people will take away from it.
Held on $2K bail? She must be a real threat to the community.
They couldnt track her down until she went to the airport to leave.
I wont be going to Hawaii again. Commies run that state. Incompetent Commies at that.
Hawaii is the only state I’d be comfortable with ejecting from the union.
Or we could purge the islands and start over.
America will have to nuke Hawaii when the Chinese invade the islands and try to use Pearl Harbor as a stepping stone to invade mainland USA.
You can take my life but you will never take my L & L Drive-in!
SPAM MUSUBI!!!!!!!!!
Truckers have shutdown roads all over Queensland. Complete media blackout on the story – except for the traffic map.
https://qldtraffic.qld.gov.au
Holy shit!
I heard they planned to do so.
Good on them for following through.
Is this supporting or protesting the lockdown?
The info I heard was that it was to be against the lockdown.
And mandatory vaccinations.
I was going through the cameras and didn’t see any trucks and it is 4am there right? So what are they shutting down?
I can’t find anything. did they really? Awesome.
DM Oz brands it a flop. Comments mostly both dispiriting and antipodean.
Google maps traffic overlay of Queensland, AU shows green.
There is that whole problem OBE mentioned above that it is the wee hours of the morning over there.
I’ve done some digging.
This is the closest I could find to news about a trucker strike in Australia. Note the dates on the linked Twitter videos. Only one on the 31st. The rest before the 31st. The one on the 31st doesn’t show truckers.
Nothing in the Cairns News, Sydney Morning Herald, Brisbane Times, NT News, ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation), and Sky News.
Looks like a big nothingburger to me.
SA= Adelaide area, quite far from Queensland.
I know.
I’ve been to both Adelaide and Brisbane.
Brisbane is kinda dull for tourists, but the Glasshouse Mountains are a nice drive from Brisbane. Had I not gotten bad sunburn, I would have driven over to Gold Coast.
The Adelaide area has some interesting stuff and is a little better for tourists. Hahndorf, the South Australia Motoring Museum, Cooper’s Brewing, a botanical garden on a mountainside with some excellent trails.
Just for general edification.
I would have liked to, although which for which specific sights I’m drawing a blank. Quokkas; the Kath and Kim house? Tassie looks nice too.
Rottnest Island, off of Perth, is known for Quokkas. I was going to go to Rottnest while I was in Perth, but I got sick and cut back on my activities in the Perth area. In Perth, I recommend the Perth Mint tour.
I don’t know “Kath and Kim”, but I looked it up. It looks like most of the filming is in the Melbourne area, and the series takes place in a fictional suburb of Melbourne. I’ve been to Melbourne. I had fun in Melbourne, though driving around the city when folks are trying to get to a Footie game is a pain in the ass.
invisiblefurryhand, who used to post here, listed off some things to see in Tasmania. I wish I could remember them. I remember one was a festival. She said she lives in or around Sydney, but had been to Tasmania several times. I haven’t been to Tasmania, but have been to Sydney. Sydney is OK.
Port Arthur is a big draw in Tasmania. It’s not too far away from Hobart. There are good views from the summit of Mount Wellington, it’s near Hobart. We also saw wild platypus near Devonport. That’s on the opposite side of the island.
And a Melbourne health officer admitted he closed playgrounds to stop parents from meeting (see dailysceptic.org ).
Update:
Moment Mississippi man LUNGES at NBC reporter and tells him to ‘report accurately’ during live Hurricane Ida coverage
So when I originally saw this story, there was no mention of “lunging” and even now there are no claims of the guy ever touching the reporter.
Now Gulfport MS police have issued arrest warrant for two counts of simple assault, disturbing the peace, and breaking curfew.
They never charged the reporter with breaking curfew. The media says their reporter was a “hero” but never said the guy touched the reporter in any way.
You guessed it. Calling out the media for the liars that they are brings all the propaganda outlets into line to cover your story.
I didn’t watch the vid. Did he touch the reporter or threaten him? If not, this is bullshit. Telling someone to tell the truth does not assault make and how is that disturbing the peace?
He got up in his face and then they cut the feed…so we don’t know beyond that. It wasn’t a lunge though.
The media never claimed the guy touched the reporter and they would have if the guy did.
If they are not arresting violent BLM/ANTIFA rioters who DONT peacefully assemble, then this guy is being targeted by Lefties for challenging on live TV how corrupt the media whores are.
Reporters are probably exempt from curfew orders. Similarly in CA the media were exempt from the lockdowns. Even if they aren’t explicitly exempt, they would win a case based on the 1st Amendment.
Why would reporters win a 1st Amendment case but not an average person?
You know the protected right to freedom of the press is written speech? It does not give a special protection to reporters/journalists/propagandists. Everyone gets the protection to write whatever they want.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Because they’re the extra special government-recognized propaganda arm.
When the real attacks start coming, they won’t understand why at all.
That is the great thing. Lefties in America have no idea how to fight or defend themselves in Civil War 2.0
Even el presidente Biden thinks America patriots need F-15s to defeat the corrupt US govt and the Commies in America.
The great thing about so many veterans being American patriots is that they likely served when unconventional warfare was being used against them by people that really hate us. Their tactics tend to stick with you.
Treasonous Commie politicians and their supporters have to sleep at night, somewhere.
Treasonous Commie politicians and their supporters have to sleep at night, somewhere.
Not advocating anything, but so do their families.
Solzhenitsyn looms large.
…Mississippi man LUNGES at NBC reporter…Are you sure he didn’t pounce?
::wonders why her carefully constructed blockquote didn’t work::
<quoteblock> maybe the tag was a little off </blocksomething>
Jen used her breasts to back him into his desk chair and he sat down heavily.
Clever.
Finnegan said, petting his head and scratching lightly behind his ears.
Just like a dog.
Do you feel it? The First that’s coming in the air tonight. Whatever your expectations are, they will be exceeded. This one will rock the entire world. This will be an entire generation’s 9/11 moment. You will always remember where you were when Brochettaward Firsted like no one had ever Firsted before.
Maybe I will just hang it up in moderation or delete it… maybe.
Our ‘attestation’ program rolls out next week for managers in the FAA. The good news is you don’t have to and they can just assume my status as non-vaxxed. I also won’t have to get tested unless I go to the facility, which will be pretty rare for a bit. Bad news is I get to have a quick reaction test anytime I do go to the office.
You are worrying about things a week from now. The entire world will be different by then once I have unleashed the First that will change the world. Nothing you know now will be relevant. You will be like an infant learning how to perceive the world again.
Phase 4 of the Brochetta Glibematic Firstiverse is just getting weird.
Your micropeen isnt anything special. I’m sure there’s a subreddit where they want to see your “first”, but not here.
Troll, fed.
I actually don’t regard the Bro as a troll, though. As I’ve said before, his schtick amuses, and his “break character” comments are perfectly cromulent.
I like feeding the troll on occasion. His schtick amuses me, too, and his serious comments are spot on.
You have to admire his commitment to the bit.
Almost as good as Mr. Lizard, PBUH.
This^^^^^
That’s what I really dig.
What I can’t tell is if the haters here are in on it or sincere in being bothered by it.
The whole thing cracks me up. It’s part of what makes this place great.
Are you too prepared?
Bonne Maman est triste.
You mean like Donald Trump’s steaks?
The FEMA ready.gov PSA is on heavy rotation on the radio and it is all now seeming like a trap.
Canning is big up here, so farmers are preppers? Who knew.
The revolution will not be televised. Because it will be led by the Amish.
Yeah, I know that the media-industrial complex wants everyone weak, frightened, and incompetent. But do they have to keep reminding us?
I am not too prepared.
*Wanders off to Gunbroker to price a Barrett 50 cal*
Someone is going to need to get smelling salts for Sean when he sees the prices.
I can fit one on an Amex.
I need to stop having lunch on Wednesdays. A SugarFree opus triggers reverse peristalsis every time. It does help to keep the weight off, though.
Kudos!
Jesus Christ.
The Taliban are gonna go ahead and use the dogs we left behind.
Obviously it could be bullshit, but with this fucking clown show, who knows.
That’s funny. The Pentagon said they didn’t leave any dogs behind.
Well, that’s what they’d like you to believe. Its got the usual squirrelly weasel words:
Tomorrow: photos of Taliban playing fetch with drug-sniffing dogs on the tarmac.
It’s “debunked”! You may never mention it again.
Given a choice between believing the Pentagon or the Taliban, I’ll go with the goatfuckers.
OK, I can see I need to be more specific: the Taliban.
Look, the only dogs left behind *wanted* to stay.
Most of the military working dogs are trained in Holland. So unless they learn Dutch they are not going to be able to get them to do much.
Of course, those words are pretty simple to lookup
Are you saying that American dog handlers speak Dutch to their dogs?
Of course they do. Many dog handlers are dykes, it is known.
Correct. There is a relationship between the handler and the dog that will not be easy to replicate, as well.
Incels, rejoice! There is some
onething for everybody.https://nypost.com/2021/09/01/man-who-married-his-sex-doll-is-in-love-with-ashtray-now/
For all of you doing a job right now that they hate:
Behold, Strawberry, in all her glory.
Hack.
“What we saw over the course of the last few months was a collapse of leadership”
She’s not wrong.
Meant as a reply to Tundra.