“Leather on flesh,” she whispered. “Flesh on flesh. Ohgodohgodohgod.”
Finnegan traced her finger around the screen of her phone, following the line from horse to Border Agent to whip to Haitian. “You thought you could escape me, Mandingo,” she whispered. “Your black body is mine.”
“Finnegan,” Jen said again. “Are you paying attention?”
“Not really,” Finnegan said. “Granpa’s whores have never really been a huge concern of mine.”
Jen reddened and spluttered, little parts of words falling out between clenched teeth.
Kamala brayed and snorted.
“What are we going to do about the border crisis,” Finnegan asked. “Eventually someone in the media is going to notice we have thousands of Haitians under a bridge.”
Jen coughed and reached for the water jug on the table.
“We send their bean-eating asses back,” Kamala said. “Real Black People like me have enough trouble without island spades gettin’ in our business. I’m fucking sick of plantains.”
“Wasn’t your father…” Jen began before taking a sip from her glass and choking on it.
“Shut the fuck up about my Dad, you redass bitch,” Kamala said, employing the jive she usually only broke out for reporters.
Jen sprayed liquid all over the table. “This is vodka,” she gasped.
“Oh, grow the fuck up,” Finnegan said, not looking up from her phone.
“Where’s Joe,” Kamala demanded. “I want to talk to Joe.”
“Press conference,” Jen and Finnegan said in the same monotone.
“Boris Johnson,” Jen said, glaring at Finnegan.
“What, aren’t either of you there?” she demanded.
Finnegan ignored her as she swiped through photos of slim Haitians being whipped with horse reins. Her right hand began to tremor and she let it fall to the table.
“I have my best people on it,” Jen said.
“Oh, Joe’s having a little Korean tonight, huh,” Kamala asked slyly, and then guffawed at length.
Finnegan’s hand strayed to the edge of the table. Not here, she thought. Not here.
“It’s just Boris Johnson,” Finnegan said absently. “Grandpa can handle him just fine.” She squeezed her legs together and began to rub them back and forth. The reins landed again and again as she swiped back and forth between the images. She could hear the whipcrack. She could taste bruised black skin.
“What’s that noise,” Kamala asked, right before the sirens went off.
“NO!” Finnegan said. “I was so close!”
“Just one day,” Jen said, stomping out of the room, “Just one fucking day of peace!”
An aide ran into the room, his thin pigeon chest straining against his button-down. “The President has shat himself! I repeat, The President has shat himself!”
MOMENTS AGO: Staff orders news media to leave The White House as UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson speaks mid-sentence pic.twitter.com/MXg2m0o1hq
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) September 21, 2021
Ohhhhh yes.
Pictured
What the hell? Did they end it because Boris was manspreading?
Was Biden just about to nod off.?
Missing a nap can be rather destructive, I’m sure the prez was up late studying the border crisis with his senior advisors.
Nuking the invaders though is probably not a long term solution and could have some blows back.
LOL good one
Since when is blowback a part of the calculation when considering blowing up third worlders???
Classic, Shat!
As requested?
A lot of great lines but this one stood out
“We send their bean-eating asses back,” Kamala said. “Real Black People like me have enough trouble without island spades gettin’ in our business.
This is like a weekly car crash and I just can’t look away.
I feel the same way about the news.
In the video, I love the comment from one of the media at the end: “Normally reporters get questions, but we didn’t get anything.” Kind of sums up this whole Charles Fox of an administration.
Well, they do get the cocktail party invites, so it isn’t all a waste.
Useful idiots
An aide ran into the room, his thin pigeon chest straining against his button-down.
LOL! What a gift you have.
That video is the mist disturbing part of this week’s episode, though. What a disaster this guy is.
81 million votes can’t be wrong.
🙄
Fallacy of big numbers?
Epidemic of stupidity?
Follow the money? Until there isn’t any?
Imagine an Aide getting between Trump and a live camera.
Just think three candidates left right before Super Tuesday. Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar, Tom Steyer
This is literally the guy the Democrats dragged across the line.
All while being terrified of Sanders.
…drug across the line…
…drugged, across the line…
Ineffectual is the best we can realistically hope for.
I was disappointed you didn’t have something to say about the Weinstein/Epstein confusion last post.
What’s to be confused about? Neither one killed themselves.
I was busy cranking out breakfast sandwiches to the hordes of college students when that went up.
So you survived Parents’ Weekend.
Well, I hope they were all wearing their masks. We’re in the worstest pandemic evar.
Aren’t those Jewish blood thinners?
She could hear the whipcrack. She could taste bruised black skin.
You are one sick fuck.
So, a Glib, then.
He doesn’t make this stuff up, he just channels it.
Mandingo FTW! Loved the cover art on those paperbacks.
“Not really,” Finnegan said. “Granpa’s whores have never really been a huge concern of mine.”
Take that, Jen! Delicious.
Thanks SF.
The Space Force is the gift that keeps on giving.
Space Force reveals uniforms and Twitter can only see ‘Star Trek’ and ‘Battlestar Galactica’
Except with more flair
Jennifer Anniston FTW
The newest military branch, the U.S. Space Force, has released prototypes of uniforms for its Guardians.
WTF?
Tag fail. “Guardians” should have been bolded.
Well shite. Looks like the Cleveland Baseball Team has another organization to get clearance from.
If they really are smart Cleveland will pay them to start the games.
Unlike the Army who was paying the “patriotic” NFL until the outrage started. Suddenly the checks went in the other direction.
And start the pissing war between NASA and Space Force (I really feel that needs an echoy sound effect for it).
We’ve got the Chair Force / Air Farce, Navy Semen… If The Guardians are PT slackers we’ve got Lardians. For the Star Trek connection, Picardians. …
Ass Guardians of the Galaxy?
My comment….
The only thing missing from that uniform is a trombone and a tall hat.
I’ve started looking forward to this more than I care to admit. Damn, this was good.
“Finnegan,” Jen said again. “Are you paying attention?”
“Not really,” Finnegan said. “Granpa’s whores have never really been a huge concern of mine.”
Jen reddened and spluttered, little parts of words falling out between clenched teeth.
Excellent.
This is good pre-job interview reading.
Good luck. Try not to giggle too much.
https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM
Perfect.
[golf clap]
You can tell it’s still a new presidency by how urgently they treat Biden shitting himself. By this time next year, they’ll have learned to just let him sit in it until everyone leaves the room and he can be changed properly.
Let’s just say there will be a whole new raft of NDAs required to get this type of press access to the Oval Office. I’d love to know what the current NDAs state they can’t record or talk about.
It should be illegal for any politician to require an NDA.
It should also probably be at least a firing offense for a member of the fifth estate to sign one.
Most transparent administrations ever.
They’ll probably also have someone who will sacrificially take the blame for the bad smell. “Oops, my bad.” Finnegan will probably have to take that bullet.
You think Trump cared when he shit himself? Fuck no! He was generous enough to share with you all the classiest, most successful, pro-American fecal matter found on the face of the earth!
Really, you should be thanking him for the experience.
And it was yuge. In fact, they call them dumps. Big, massive dumps.
And when he’s constipated, it’s the Trump dump slump.
An aide ran into the room, his thin pigeon chest straining against his button-down. “The President has shat himself! I repeat, The President has shat himself!”
Al Roker wept.
Bad day for North American “leaders” apparently.
So a day that ends in “y”?
I’m uploading a new cartoon, so that is using too much bandwidth for me to watch the pants shitting video. The sacrifices I make for you animals.
I am the First of all Firsters. How dare you compare me to an animal. Nothing is more human than being First.
I will now have no choice but to down vote your cartoon before anyone else even has a chance to watch it.
As if you get a vote! LOLOLOL!
Like I give a shit. A watch is a watch. Not that it matters, I’ve not made one dime off youtube. It’s all Patreon bux.
*downvotes*
I’m not going to watch. I have subscribed simply with the intent of down voting all of your content as soon as it is posted. You have made the enemy of all enemies this day, sir.
*downvotes*
God, you are a tedious cunt.
The first animal was the Comb Jelly. The first human was Handy Man. You’re millions of years behind.
https://apnews.com/article/immigration-united-states-texas-el-paso-del-rio-3a8146cbcb47b9df7a31a19594df3ec6
The “deportations” are a lie. Imagine that.
And no vaccine mandate for them – just us. Our elites really, really want to replace us with Third Worlders so they can be feudal overlords.
Well written editorial that will get zero traction.
Passport to hell
That’s a good one.
indeed, good find Sensei,
Thanks for that.
Excellent. Thanks, Sensei.
Excellent, thanks. Surprised she has not been incarcerated.
“Leather on flesh”
Reminds me of an excursion I made to Croatia with some friends many years ago when Americans still needed a visa, which was obtainable only at a Croatian embassy. Many in our group didn’t bother getting a visa beforehand, so when we got to the border I was sent to negotiate with the border guards since I was the only one who spoke something similar to Croatian. As I was walking up to the border, one of the women in our group noticed the guards were wearing leather and shouted, “I love men in leather uniforms! Tell them I go down easy!” I didn’t translate that one. I was afraid I’d tell them that I go down easy.
They say we only regret the chances we didn’t take…
You don’t go down easy?
So good, I guess, that the world is pretty much the same as when I left.
Great stuff, SugarFree.
Too bad no one in flyover country actually watches this crap.
I forgot about Samantha Bee. Since dumping all the cable channels, I haven’t seen one of her terrible ads that always made my wife violently angry.
She is so bloody disappointing. Her comedy writing is top-notch; she and her husband, Jason Jones created and write <a href="https://youtu.be/chy8n7aqE_U" title="The Detour” target=”_blank” >The Detour, a fictionalized take on their family vacations. I guess it was kind of a tell when her husband was cast to play her husband, while a pretty actress was cast to play Samantha Bee.
Colbert and Kimmel both have major comedic talent, as you can see in their work from back in the day (I’ve never seen much work from those other people on the list, so I don’t know).
Sad that they decided to throw it away and become shills for the Establishment.
Hah, no shit? That’s hilarious. “Honey, I’ll play the leading man. I think it might be better if we cast someone else to play my wife, though.”
Someone who doesn’t set everyone’s teeth on edge?
Gutfeld is going to eat their lunch.
So they are shutting down the shows for a day to conserve…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahah
“Shut the fuck up about my Dad, you redass bitch,” Kamala said, employing the jive she usually only broke out for reporters.
I bet she ain’t no ways tired.
“The President has a grueling schedule, many things to attend to, and very serious decisions to make. I hope you understand that, in the same position, you too would likely find yourself pooped at the end of the day.”
*snort*
“You too would likely find u pooped yourself at the end of the day.”
Fixed.
A good breakdown of Durham’s indictment and why there are more details than just those covering the charge of false statements…
https://shipwreckedcrew.substack.com/p/the-sussmann-indictment-reads-like
And another…
https://technofog.substack.com/p/where-does-john-durham-go-from-here
Note that it wasn’t really “the DNC” who called him in, just Wasserman-Schultz. They met in secret, and the DNC’s own officers were not even told about the breach for over a month.
It’s all right there. So the big question is, who set it up? Seymour Hersh said it was a Brennan operation. Whoever was behind it, it almost certainly was not dreamed up by Wasserman-Schultz or some Perkins-Coie lawyer.
Wasserman-Shultz is functionally retarded. She couldn’t have done it.
Crowdstrike has been covering for the DNC from the beginning of this. I called that one immediately. It’s why they never turned over the servers.
The most conspicuously absent name in my mind is Sidney Blumenthal.
He certainly has some role in all of this. He’s been involved in every dirty Clinton deal since they hit the national scene.
That’s why his absence here stands out.
Good point. He was connected to the “second dossier” on Trump, but I don’t remember his name coming up in relation to this.
However, things like the coordinated “Guccifer 2.0” leak make me think it was probably somebody who was or had been in the intelligence services.
Who is this “Boris Johnson”?
An aspiring hair model.
A russian operative?
Is chasing moose and squirrel with Natasha.
A guy who doesn’t speak the best French, but still gets his point across.
Boris Johnson tells Macron: Donnez-moi un break over new pact
So I think to myself “If I only skim it and just catch a word here and there I won’t get nauseous. Sure it was written by SugarFree. I can handle it!”
But no. I ended up puking in the back of my mouth.
As long as you’re not puking in the back of someone else’s mouth.
That’s how you get the COVID, I hear.
Some people are monsters.
“Parker”. She is a monster.
Lotta ballgaggers on the twits.
Gross.
The best reply to a reply:
This is not going to age well.
Neither will the kid.
There’s got to be a German word for simultaneously feeling pity for the kids and secretly hoping they die from heart inflammation just to teach her a lesson..
Der Simultaneouslyfeelingpityforthekidsandsecretlyhopingtheydiefromheartinflammationjusttoteachheralesson
LOL
I haz a disappoint in you, Rhy, what with your German skills and all.
It should be der gleichzeitigMitleidmitdenKindernhabenundinsgeheimhoffendassSieaneinerHerzentzĂĽndungsterbennurumihreineLektionzuerteilen.
Pfft like you can trust Google translate.
You can’t trust Google, so you clearly can’t trust Google Translate.
Will it clean those nasty fingernails?
In their minds, it will allow their kids to live forever. No more fear of death.
I bet if we dove deep into her daily habits, she puts that child at risk of serious injury and/or death at a greater rate than COVID does.
L O L
The replies made me nauseous, which even SF can’t make me do.
Don’t tempt him…
Churches and governments united.
, we assert without evidence.
The best kind of assertion — it doesn’t require any of that icky work.
I’d bet it is. Hospital capacity is stretched everywhere.
But not because of COVID. Because of a massive nursing shortage, and second order effects of the panicked response to COVID.
The bed figures I’ve seen thrown around here and there which I’m sure are totally trustworthy 🙂 don’t show a stretched capacity but yes, the lack of staff would certainly have an impact.
I assume you’d lose your job if you pointed this out publicly with your name attached to it.
Obviously their underwear isn’t clean enough.
Or magical enough?
What’s the percentage of the increase, and what is the before/after rates per capita? Shit like this is how the media makes a fearmongering headline when cases jump from 11 to 12… Not to mention the conflation of “cases” with people who are symptomatic and spreading the disease to others.
How far above pre-COVID hospital bed occupancy rates is it? People alarmingly tout an 80 or 90 percent occupancy rate as though it’s some abnormal situation, but hospitals aren’t designed to sit there with 10 percent occupancy.
That is a big point. People are being inundated with these numbers. Hospital utilization, ICU beds, deaths, cases, etc and it is technically a baseline for the general public.
We have nothing to compare it to.
Cases in the church’s home state of Utah and neighboring states are on the rise again
How does that compare to the vaccination rate?
I think I want another 7.62×39 upper. This time in rifle length.
How are those side charging uppers?
7.62×39 belongs in AKs.
Don”t kink shame me.
Relevant
This is one of those rare cases where the meme is correct, and so are all the comments.
I’m ready to stab anyone who screenshots text to put into an email directly in the eye.
///WhiteCollarProblems
PREACH!!!!
Jesus if you want to print the screen send it as an attachment. If it’s a tracking number or link, send me the tracking number or link.
GAAAHHH
When was the last time you got a cell phone picture of a error message?
This week.
My new favorite people are those who have extended displays, take a full desktop screenshot to send me some text written in an error box or a window… which comes in compressed enough that it’s unreadable. If you’re going to send a screenshot, at least Alt-PrtScrn it.
*takes potato cam pic of cell phone screen of giant monitor*
How about when they send that screenshot in an email, and it makes the message super wide so you have to scroll all the way right to read the message. Then when they reply back and for, the screen shot is still included, so you have to scroll right for a mile to read every reply.
If it’s cut-n-pasteable, sure.
If not, someone’s gonna by typing it in by hand and it might as well not be me 🙂
OT: I try not to be conspiratorial, I swear. Then I run across presentations on SARS vaccines from the WHO in 2003 flagging the potential for reducing regulatory burden by licensing future coronavirus vaccines for use prior to gathering and analyzing phase 3 results. Can’t say that this is some “smoking gun” or anything like that, but it’s yet another grain of sand to add to the “they’ve been planning things about pandemic since well before 2020” pile.
link
– WHO, 2003
link
The FDA’s definition of “vaccine” was changed in 2015, and again this month. Someone on this site linked to a comparison of the text within the last few weeks. The 2015 change was already moving away from the traditional understanding of vaccine (paraphrasing “dead or attenuated virus that prevents infection”). Who or what was behind that 2015 change?
/seats tin foil hat more firmly
I try not to be conspiratorial, I swear.
*adjusts foil hat* Me too…
another grain of sand to add
Indeed. *adds another quarter to ‘Alex Jones was right’ jar*
Specific regulatory considerations for the clinical evaluation and licensing of SARS vaccines
You don’t have to be conspiratorial to see the profit motive for a “vaccine” for a virus that mutates constantly to the extent that the “vaccine” itself can drive mutation. The producers get a constant flow of revenue via a constant flow of jabs. And there is also talk of the daily pills (which, in a sense already exist. it’s called “immune boosting supplements” like vitamin C/D, zine, magnesium, selenium, etc. Just take a multivitamin…).
JBP 2020 – Joint Biologics Project 2020… from a DoD side deck circa 1997
That happened to me for reals.
It was the late ’80s. I was in a freelance string quartet and we were playing at some sort of fundraising breakfast for then Senator David Boren (D). Every table had three pitchers of vodka on it and there were those big serving trays on trayjacks to replenish them. They were not labelled as being vodka.
The tables also had pitchers of orange juice and what I thought was tomato juice but what was probably Bloody Mary mix. This was a breakfast event after all.
“I was in a freelance string quartet…”
Do you use that as a pickup line? Because you should.
Seems appropriate place to drop this:
https://metro.co.uk/2021/09/20/more-than-60-endangered-penguins-killed-by-swam-of-bees-that-stung-them-in-eyes-15287858/
?
Not the Nick Cage Peguins!
That doesn’t really make sense.
If bees are stinging you, you aren’t doing it right.
Penguins on a beach stung to death by bees? The story also mentions ‘a number of bees also died’. Um…if a bee stings, it dies.
Also an appropriate place to post something below one of the twits someone else posted here:
https://twitter.com/37smadAmaS/status/1440385097710989314
?
That was awful.
*saved*
My inner 13 year old laughed
*applause*
Down thread from that one:
https://twitter.com/lee_bail83/status/1440675727636975624/photo/1
I too have lost a child.
Brutal
Welp. we have boosters in stock. My boss told me if I wanted one, to just go to one of our clinics.
I said “No, thanks. My immune system has always been pretty robust.”*
Her response: “Oh, so you’re special.”
I have an app on my personal tablet that counts down the days until my deferred comp vests, and until my planned retirement date. I made sure the app didn’t show up on my work tablet or phone, which are all linked through my Apple account.
*I didn’t mention that I was just following the FDA’s guidance that the boosters presented an unknown risk on top of the known risks of the vaccine, which was more dangerous to men under 40 than the virus itself.
It will be really weird if the CDC starts pushing boosters after the FDA shot them down hard.
I thought the FDA already recommended against the booster.
*sigh*
They said boosters were OK for old people and people at risk, but not for the genpop.
I was surprised that they bucked the political pressure. I was even more surprised that their setup for saying the boosters posed an unknown additional risk was the disclosure that one side effect of the vaccine (cardiomyopathy? – something heart related) was more dangerous to men under 40 than the disease itself.
This – it was surprising because it’s just another dose of the vaccine that they are telling everyone is wicked safe.
Implicit admission of side effects
BUT ONLY ON THE THIRD SHOT OF COURSE!
From what I saw, it wasn’t implicit, and it wasn’t only for the third shot.
But-but-but-but
EEEEEVERYONE IS AT RISK!
Dont cat-butt me for linking to NPR.
Some of the freak-outs are fantastic.
How long before this guy gets labelled a white-supremacist?
https://www.npr.org/2021/09/22/1039613351/desantis-florida-surgeon-general-vaccine-mandates
DeSantis really intends to make them work hard to discredit his choice
Black, immigrant, handsome, Ivy League credentialed, decathlete
And had the nerve to say out loud that people dont have to do as they are told. Definitely a white supremacist.
You left out white supremacist and Uncle Tom.
You mean the blackface of white supremacy.
Are those drugs falling out of the cat’s butt? :-p
You will note there is no pic of the new guy.
Based on his statements in the article, I really like the cut of his jib.