I know, a day early, but sometimes Banjos ties one on and someone else on staff has to step over the puddle of vomit and work the Links Machine. This time it’s me.

Spudalicious spent several days with us and managed to get himself a good taste of the workings of the modern liberal arts student. Actual conversation at the local bar:

Spud: … so he’s definitely Aspie.

Liberal Arts Student: (icily) That is not a term we use any more.

Spud: Look, my son is an Aspie. He’s 30 years old and unable to work a job.

Liberal Arts Student: (glares, extra ice) That is NOT a term we use any more.

Spud: (realizes he’s about to get canceled with a beer bottle to the head, shuts up)

SP: (changes subject quickly) So we thought it might be fun to put pictures of our staff as little kids on our Instagram page!

Liberal Arts Student: That is NOT acceptable. Many of us had different gender identifications then and do NOT want to be associated with that. This is non-inclusive and problematic!

SP: (smiles and shuts up)

I should mention a few birthdays, including a guy who operated best under pressure; the nihilistic ‘stache; a guy who has a museum right down the road from us; the inspiration for Mahatma Kane Jeeves; a guy who was of two minds; a moray eel latched onto the Kennedys; a guy who made a fortune inflicting shitty cars on the American public; a guy who has been so easy to parody that he’s actually taken seriously; the nemesis of Earl Weaver; and a larger-than-life chef who can’t actually cook.

Let’s do links. That is a term we still use.

 

“I have information that could lead to the conviction of Hillary Clinton.”

 

Really, how long before Gloria Allred jumps into this?

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hand that seat back to Team Red, you morons.

 

The Jews are behind this, right?

 

These guys are getting canceled. No question.

 

“I find myself oddly excited by this. Those bags are faaaaaabulous.”

 

It’s all Bezos’s fault.

 

Old Guy Music is just an absolutely fucking delightful cover by some absolutely fucking amazing musicians.