So who clicked on the link before scrolling down? I could probably name names. Fooled you!  The real link is below:


Emerging from the doldrums of the 70’s, a ton of new cultural concepts came about. Movies, video games, pop culture and boobies all led an explosion in a market that desperately needed growth. Teen films told amazing stories of parties which actually did not happen to most of us! Video games started to appear in bowling allies, not just high-maintenance pinball and ripped pool tables.  Beer in bowling alleys was still stale, sadly.

That brings me to this particular film, Joysticks. What a romp! It’s non-stop video games, stereotypes, over the top teenage hi-jinks, boobs, and Joe Don Baker.

Joe Don? Did he owe a gambling debt or something? Wasn’t he in Walking Tall and Guns of the Magnificent Seven? What was he doing in this? We may never know.

Joe Don isn’t as important as boobs. So how about them booby girls? They were played by Kym Malin (who was later in Playboy) and Kim G. Michel (who was only in this one film). Challenge – Can you hear their characters’ names spoken during the entire movie? Don’t cheat and look it up!

Corinne Bohrer plays Patsy, the valley girl. She also played Booger’s wife in Revenge of the Nerds IV. No boobies from the valley girl! Boo says 16-year old me!  Adult me likes Corinne for her film and TV roles like Phantom of the Megaplex and Police Academy 4. She stayed busy!

There is a character actor in the film who goes by the name of Jon Gries. He plays King Vidiot and a great many reviews say he carried this film. Actually the boobs carried this film, let’s be honest. Anyone tuning in to “USA Up All Night” to watch this was there for the boobs. But kudos for making a fantastic character.

For many of us, video games were, and still are escapism. How many video games do you recognize in this film? There are a couple of notable examples:

  • During the strip video game scene, you would be forgiven for not concentrating on the video game. The name of the game is Streaking, and it works like Pac Man. You are a naked lady being pursued by the cops. You must eat the bon-bons to keep your energy up and collect your clothes before you are arrested. Did I have to look this one up? No, actually, I have this in my game room as part of a multi-game cocktail cabinet.
  • At one point you can see a screen shot of the video game Satan’s Hollow. This was a great shooter game that had a split screen where you had to build a bridge to Hell and shoot the devil. Gratuitous digital Wagner soundtrack.

Hard dose of reality for any millennials watching this film: The eighties really weren’t like this. I worked nights in high school. I didn’t know anybody who partied and saw boobies every night. Me and all my friends had to bust ass 24/7 for years to make a decent living and find our way. So suck it up!

Next week: Robo-Vampire.  Because life is too short to not watch Robo-Vampire. Slightly less boobies, a robot made out of car hubcaps and a script written by a nine year old. And kung fu!

Watch, or don’t because everything is voluntary and there are no refunds!

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(h/t: The Hyperbole)