Look, Tulip is here. We went to a winery. We drank. We came home. We drank. I have nothing left. But the Links will be their normal rich source of amusement once again next week. In the meantime…
Not much time for birthdays, but I should acknowledge the leading candidate for the Team Blue presidential nomination; a sadly neglected woodwind player; a major eater of hot rice; a true and unabashed whore; the auteur of the greatest political movies and TV shows ever made; and an object lesson in how taking oneself seriously destroys comedy.
First night of Hanukkah/Chanukah/Khannookah/whatever tonight. Eat latkes!
Totally peaceful, totally not anti-semitic.
There seems to be something missing. Something… what could it be?
This is our local version of the smash-and-grab.
Anything which even further diminishes public respect for politicians is aw-reet with me.
This is impossible because California has strict gun control laws.
Here’s the reason for the weekend issues.
Boooooo! Booo, I say good sir! 😉
I was saying Boo-urns.
“This is impossible because California has strict gun control laws.”
Unfortunately, this article is paywalled for me.
He died defending a fake news crew’s equipment. Talk about a pointless death.
Try a private tab? Worked for me.
From the Facebook article:
Ummm… maybe it is just because I remember Usenet and all — but if that’s the *worst* you’ve got, so flipping what? Maybe rude in some contexts, but it isn’t inciting violence so let people have their own opinions and stop thinking you can manage the human race like your HR departments. Weasels.
“Swami” is hilarious in this context because it’s a title for a Hindu holy man, like “Reverend” for protestant clergy. Muslims traditionally hate them some Hindus since they are polytheists.
That was my precise thought. Back in the old Usenet days, the first 15 posts would be nonsensical racist screeds.
“This is our local version of the smash-and-grab.” — oh hell, are the locking gas caps from the 70s on their way back again? Though since they were drilling into the tanks, wouldn’t help much (I remember people drilling out the locks back in the day — but it was usually the owners because they were tired of looking for the keys. It was the 80s at that point and gas was cheaper again, so the theft issue was moot.
“There was an Old Joe in Nantucket, whose mask was not worn, so go suck it; he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin; “Where’s my applesauce?”” — As long as nobody talks about Kamala wiping her chin please….
“Anything which even further diminishes public respect for politicians is aw-reet with me.” — Can we achieve negative polling for Congress?
Re: the turkey clip — people forget todays birds are close to shrunk down (or not for ostriches) raptors. I’d bet that bird was wondering how he could snitch some more than anything else…
Thanks for the links, OMWC — for the “minimum” that was pretty hearty fare.
We got in a bird from our local poultry farm for our staff dinner that may have been a hadrosaur. Thing was fucking enormous, and getting it into the fridge after it was delivered was one of the biggest challenges of my week.
Two tom turkeys in my yard yesterday, they will come to a window and look in, almost like begging for food. I laughed, thinking one turkey inside is looking at the two outside. I finally went out and gave them a handful of corn. They were so grateful they are back again now, not sure who is entertaining who. They do love the freebies, though.
My MIL got a giant bird from (((these guys)))
https://kolfoods.com/
Incredibly moist and tasty.
Wait, you have people on staff that will sit at a table with animal flesh?
Poor old Festus has made some powerful enemies it appears. I may be out of a job come Monday morn. I just can’t help myself in reaction to stupid and some people hold a grudge like a security blanket. I won’t miss the shitty work but I feel bad for my clients. “Some people just don’t like you on sight, Son. It’s a hard lesson to learn.” I’ve already sent another salvo their way so we’ll see how this plays out on Monday. Not so conducive to my morale going forward. Thanks for the tasty links, OMWC. I’ll go back and peruse them now.
Can you run a grill? We’re starting to turn this town into Glibs Gulch, our mini-Free State Project.
Muricuh is not friendly to Festus, even though Judi is still one of you. Yes, yes I can run a grill. (Former short-order cook). It’s been 30 years so not sure if my blood pressure could take it, especially biting my tongue around Astrid and her friends…
You don’t get a free pass for marrying an American?
In these trying times?
I mean, a Denver omelette was still a thing when I worked the flipper.
Either Glibs Gulch or a mash up of Taxi and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia but set in a diner.
I would watch that.
“Hey Old Man, you dropped your cock ring!”
Glibs Gulch – Voted least bike friendly place in America
We’re very friendly to bikes. Less so to bike purchasers.
Sorry Festus. I’m hoping you can pull through this and keep your job.
Masks are for Morlocks,
Yeah… good plan if the elite want to make themselves into the Eloi. That’ll end well barring a 1880’s time traveler.
The researchers urged executives to adopt an aggressive overhaul of its software system that would primarily remove only those hateful posts before any Facebook users could see them.
Words such as these are just as deadly as Monty Python’s lethal joke. We cannot risk it.
Those poor minorities need our help.
The not-so-soft bigotry of low expectations.
Unprecedented. Why does it always have to be unprecedented?
Because there’s precedent for calling it that?
Can you run a grill? We’re starting to turn this town into Glibs Gulch, our mini-Free State Project.
[insert St Crispin’s Day speech]
Pretty much.
“Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it Saint Swiven’s Day already? ‘Tis, replied Aunt Helga…”
Mummy dear, Mummy dear…
But how was the toast?
“Allegany County woman charged with drilling holes in fuel tanks, stealing gas for her own vehicle .”
Ima say let her keep on doing this until she immolates herself. Just kidding because that’s said to be a horrible death. But it’s incredibly stupid.
The Natives on the Rez used to do that. Drill a hole in your gas tank and steal just enough for their boat motors and insert a screw with a rubber washer on it so their scam would go unnoticed. The screw worked loose one time and we were stranded about 50 miles from help. That was a fun night.
“We’ve seen a number of these parents’ rights groups that have arisen in the last year get involved in these challenges, and their local chapters are turning out to attend school board meetings and challenge books. It really has sparked a rise in challenges,” she said.
Da noive o’ some people.
They don’t even have degrees in education!
Everyone has a part in educating children. Parental participation ends at paying for the schools.
None of the Democrats singled out by McCarthy as examples of who could be removed from House committees have embraced conspiracy theories or promoted violence against their political opponents the way Greene and Gosar have.
They’re good people, with deeply held sincere beliefs. Not Republicans.
Yeah, that line made me LOL.
Let’s be clear: Trump did not conspire with Russia. But it wasn’t a conspiracy theory: we were misinformed by REALLY smart people who were also misinformed. The (apparent) evidence clearly pointed to Russia at the time.
“Swami” is hilarious in this context
That jumped out at me, too.
Didn’t Al Jolson sing a song, “Swami, how I luv ya”
Been a long time but I remember…
Years ago we had a small journal review meeting where we rrad a study authored by a researcher named Swaminatahan. Funny me said, “Swami Nathan? Isn’t that like Mystic Bob or Soothsayer George?” Not only did no one find it amusing, I was accused of being racist. Not one of the dozen people in the group had ever heard of a “Swami”, they were all just sure I was horrible for poking fun at a name from a different culture.
“Let me be clear: If a Democrat did the same thing, I would introduce the same resolution,” said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.), who led the original resolution to censure Gosar for posting an anime video that depicted him killing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and swinging swords at President Biden.
Stop it. You’re killing me.
Who knew we’d wind up living The Sheep Look Up?
C’mon man! Don’t you remember her stirring speech on the floor censoring Omar for “all about the Benjamins” comment?
the race ca
Reasonable people need to keep race out of it. Don’t let the tyrants use it as a self-righteous weapon. Let the lefties keep playing the race card until it burns up in their faces.
The modifier the commenter should have used is ‘evil’. As in, ‘stupid, evil, racist cuntes’.
Insult to injury – the supervisors of the overnight shifts are two women that don’t like me one little bit. The one I’ll call “axe-handle and a half” and the other “the bowlegged bitch”. So bitter… There are about twenty supervisors that I am very convivial with, why these two? Never mind, answered my own question. Nobody else wants to work with them, either. Maybe it’s just me?
They are competing for your attention, Festus. Girls can be cruel to each other. Your compliments seem to be going unheeded. Keep up the the good work.
Thanks, Dad! That brought out a chuckle.
Germ warfare
Sixty-one people who arrived in Amsterdam on two flights from South Africa have tested positive for Covid-19, Dutch officials say.
They have been placed in isolation at a hotel near Schiphol airport.
They were among some 600 passengers held for several hours after arrival while they were tested for the virus.
Dutch health authorities said Omicron, labelled on Friday as a variant of concern, was “probably found in a number of people” who tested positive.
Other European countries, including the UK and Germany, have confirmed cases of the Omicron variant.
The variant was first reported to the World Health Organization from South Africa on Wednesday, with early evidence suggesting it has a higher re-infection risk.
NATO should declare war on South Africa.
The bombing will commence momentarily.
From what I’ve read so far this new variant is milder than the earlier ones, just as you’d expect. Crank up the drama TMITE!
From local news:
When will COVID-19 be over? Never, experts say — but it will get milder, less deadly over time
Of course, my favorite comparison parts from the same story:
vs.:
The true spelling of Jewish Christmas.
One of the best things to come out of SNL in 30 years – https://youtu.be/BGzO1ghRKp4
There’s a local jazz band that is mostly Jewish. They’ve had a tradition of playing a live show on Christmas Day. I just checked, and it appears they’re still doing it over 20 years later.
Getting to Paris is hard!
The ultimate Jewish Christmas song
Also-
Has the WHO pulled a test for this ultrascary new strain out of their magic hat already, or is this just more hysterical what-if-ing?
You needn’t bother to answer.
We’re never going to be free-ish again. It’s the end of November, I won’t see the sun for weeks, my company is fucking me in the ass, my balance is so shot that I descend stairs like Joe fucken Biden, Most of the appliances in our home are failing, my birthday is fast approaching and my pets are ancient. Black-pilled? Moi?
Now is the time to develop your skills as a country and western singer.
Sorry about your troubles.
My truck is still running, the dog is alive and Judi still loves me. I guess it isn’t so bad.
That’s the spirit!
And now set it to music. Add in the beauty of the canola fields in the fall and seeing the horizon in all directions and you’ve got a hit!
You’ll make it, with all the Glibs on both sides of the border, giving you free advice. Keep on keepin’ on, Son
STEVE SMITH LIKE CANOLA, AND BY CANOLA MEAN RAPE!
I seed what you did there.
Oil be darned.
OK…I’ll join in. I’m not one to go against the grain.
The turkey’s name is Soros
Did he steal the other turkey’s bling?
Nah, waited a few decades so he could influence the DA to drop all charges.
Soros not having been assassinated by now tells me all I need to know about our corrupt government. Concerned parents = terrorists. White males taking care of their families = white rage. However, Soros = philanthropist and financial do-gooder.
In other local news, federal prosecutors are expecting a trial to start Monday in relation to the
riotspeaceful protests back in May of 2020. This was a guy caught on video breaking into a cupcake place (which admittedly, is about the most white girl place you could pick). The mostly peaceful things this poor man is being charged with?a cupcake place (which admittedly, is about the most white girl place you could pick).
Everybody knows that cupcakes are actually sexist.
Why is it a federal case?
Duh! Cupcakes!
Riots. And the local cops not arresting or charging anyone, even with video evidence and the idiots bragging about what they did on social media.
So, FYTW.
A voice from beyond the grave
Omicron has 50 mutations — more than any other variant; compare that to delta’s 19 mutations.
“Based on the numbers and the types of mutations, it looks like the worst variant that we have come across so far,” Dr. Deepak Srivastava, president of the Gladstone Institutes in San Francisco, told KGO.
Nothing but corpses, as far as the eye can see.
The horror.
The HORROR.
Not masked, not vaxxed, not afraid. These people can go fuck themselves.
GF has a big pork shoulder roasting in the oven (house smells yummy) and I got steaks to grill today.
I had a very nice ribeye last night. For breakfast, I took all the fatty edges I left on last night’s plate, piled them onto a piece of sourdough bread, then ran them through the toaster oven a couple cycles until some fat rendered into the bread and the rest of the fat was crispy and brown. Topped that mess with a sunny side and paired it with a nice strong coffee. I love steak.
?
Mutations are inevitable and not necessarily a bad thing. Apparently it was a mutated asymptomatic variant of Ebola that essentially inoculated part of Africa and ended the epidemic there. Measuring the “badness” of a sickness by the number of mutations is silly.
Based on my current observations of the populace, the human race could use a few more mutations itself.
Dude, that’s not how you ramp up the fear.
The United States has not reported any cases of omicron at this time, but Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, says it’s possibly already here.
Foremost authority says we’re DOOOOMED.
Again.
“We may or may not be doomed.”
If you ain’t vaccinated you ain’t patriotic
/Dr Biden
Ol’ Hunter must be one helluva piece of ass. Winston’s Mom weeps.
Ten percent for the Big Guy.
“Everybody gets their beaks wet”
And all Swallerwell got was a hooker, as far as we know
That’s the NY Post. Fake news. In all sincerity they did break the lap-top story but will anyone take them seriously when the side-bar always seems to be a Kardashian?
No worse than a sidebar always about Demi Rose.
This sidebar includes Lindsay Lohan. I really can’t decide if that’s an improvement or not.
Isn’t that Festus’ point?
Aspiring comedian
As for how he would curb inflation, Goolsbee proposed items Republicans are unlikely to bring up on the campaign trail — such as eliminating Trump-era tariffs to cut costs on imports and boosting immigration to alleviate labor market pressures, as well as curtailing further spread of Covid to get consumers spending more on services and less on goods.
“If people would go back to spending money on restaurants, Disneyland, vacations,” he said, “I think that would relieve inflationary pressure quite a lot.”
I can totally see that.
“Boosting immigration”
Yeah no.
Biden hasn’t even shunned the Trump tariffs, how can you expect Republicans to do that?
Just more proof that Trump is an old school Democrat.
So Carlson has a new book out, and there was a link to an early piece he wrote about Trump. Good read still.
That last bit turned out to be understatement.
Um… some of us are not allowed to do that, genius.
After food, utilities, gas, and rent, what money?
Because nothing damps inflation like . . . More spending?
It’s simple, stop spending on the essentials and only buy frivolous stuff. Get with the program.
You still have checks in the checkbook, and space on the credit cards, right?
Of the roughly $5 trillion in stimulus injected into the economy since the start of the pandemic in early 2020, more than half came under Trump with overwhelming Republican support, particularly in the Senate.
John Cochrane, a free-market economist at the Hoover Institution, said he sees the injection of money into the economy over the past two years as the leading cause of inflation. Limiting spending of all kinds would slow the trend, he said.
“The primary cause of inflation is the massive fiscal transfer of the last year, more on its way, and the Fed with foot still on the gas,” he said in an email, referring to the Federal Reserve’s policies around the purchasing of Treasury securities and bonds.
Austan Goolsbee, an economics professor at the University of Chicago who chaired the Council of Economic Advisers under former President Barack Obama, said Republican arguments that passing Biden’s social safety net legislation would have an outsize impact on inflation trends amount to a “a red herring,” noting the total cost is spread over a decade and any impact over the next year-plus would be “very modest.”
That plan for sustained monetary expansion kind of negates the “transitory” argument, doesn’t it?
Festus, good vibes heading your way from here. Hope everything doesn’t go awfully tomorrow.
Having redneck Thanksgiving today. Pre-roasted turkey, box dressing, box spuds, jar gravy, store-bought rolls (generic), canned cranberry sauce (ribbed for my pleasure) The only “real” thing is green beans with bacon and the green beans come from the can. I do this when I get no leftovers from tryptophan day, but can’t be arsed to do the whole thing from scratch.
If you dig on PB&J, the canned cranberry sauce is really yummy as the J part of that sammich. The tang from the cranberries cuts the sweetness of the peanut butter in a very toothsome way.
Every once in a while I will have a PB&J, but it’s not my fave.
I have thought about a sandwich press with turkey, dressing, spuds, cranberry sauce, and then dipping it in gravy.
Local places does up the New Bomb Turkey sandwich every year:
Pizza week was a couple weeks back, and one place did a confit turkey, potatoes, cranberries, gravy sauce, stuffing breadcrumb, aged cheese blend, and herbs on a sheet pan pizza.
“…more than half came under Trump with overwhelming Republican support, particularly in the Senate.”
Trump did it first!
And, as with any government program/policy, once begun, it can never be considered finished or no longer beneficial.
They’re supposed to do the opposite of everything Trump did, not double down on it.
Just more proof that Trump is an old school Democrat.
A few people of my acquaintance, Democrats good and true, used to harp on the dire need for tariffs and trade controls to bring jobs back o the Workers of America.
I never heard them give credit to Trump when he actually did it.
Trump is just Bill Clinton without the rape.
My variation:
Trump is just Bill Clinton with a bad haircut.
Trump is just Bill Clinton but with a good looking wife
Don’t forget a good looking daughter, as well.
Actually, Trump offered free trade at the G7 summit. All our trading partners refused.
Trump instituted new tariff policy and all major trading partners caved to lowering their import restrictions on US goods.
Communist china then unleashed a biological weapon to help get rid of Trump.
Democrats always used tariffs and trade restrictions to buy votes. Trump used trade restrictions to leverage lower foreign trade restrictions for US goods.
If you dig on PB&J, the canned cranberry sauce is really yummy as the J part of that sammich. The tang from the cranberries cuts the sweetness of the peanut butter in a very toothsome way.
Ooh. As a big fan of red currant jelly (also delicious on turkey sammiches) with peanut butter, that sounds really good.
That’s it. I’m done for today. I’ll send the part numbers for an ailing piece of equipment as a good will gesture even though nobody but me knows how to use it. I’m an asshole, I’m not cruel. Chicken strips and fries. I love my life…
Love you Festus. Things will get better… they have to, right?
Good morning all.
I came across this advert from the early 60’s I’m guessing.
James Mason’s favorite wine with an “Unusual Flavor”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0xY7mBQrzXU
I hope his outtakes were as good as Orson Welles’s. (An oldie but a goodie.)
Ahhhh, the French champagne! Gets me every time.
Does it pair well with Mrs Pell’s fish sticks?
What’s the word? Thunderbird!
How’s it sold? Good and cold.
What’s the jive? Bird’s alive.
What’s the price? Thirty twice.
Who drinks it most?
The colored folks!
Jugsy delivered to the airport. Once again, its me and The Dozer for the next fortnight.
Send slutty women my direction.
And for something different, Bluegrass does some Supertramp.
How does one get a national DJ gig? I ask because it’s obviously not talent alone. Some of the DJs SiriusXM has are no better, and in a couple particular cases worse, than some of the local DJs on our podunk stations in flyover country.
As far as I can tell, for the ’80s on 8 channel (and maybe some of the other “retro” channels) you have to have been an MTV VJ back when MTV actually featured music.
Yeah, some stations are like that, for sure. Outlaw Country has a few lesser known artists doing the DJing (Willie Nelson’s daughter, Paula being one…so nepotism helps). There’s a couple guys and one gal who float around the rock stations that really make me scratch my head. (Tommy London, I’m looking at you!)
Huh. Finally googled him and Tommy London is a lesser, lesser known artist, I guess. He sells shirts reading, “Who the fuck is Tommy London”, so I guess you gotta give him props for sense of humor.
At least back when there were local stations (and not just ClearChannel running them all), there were stories about aspiring DJ’s reading the newspapers looking for reports of injuries (or worse) of local DJ’s, then showing up at the radio station to offer to fill in.
Now that’s hustle! I like it.
They need to roust Sly Stone out of his van by the LA River and get him back in the booth.
Is Richard Blade still a DJ?
Trump is just Bill Clinton but with a good looking wife
Ain’t that the truth.
And that’s why so many men can empathize with Bill and envy the Donald.
Biden has been criticized several times for not following local mask mandates while urging Americans to wear a mask including at an upscale Washington, D.C. restaurant in October where he was spotted walking through the eatery without a mask.
Rules for thee, not for me.
“Let me be clear: If a Democrat did the same thing, I would introduce the same resolution,” said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.)
I don’t believe you.
Old Guy Music is pretty good.
Brunch: Three sausage patties, three fried eggs. I might need a nap.
In 2021, individual filers won’t pay any capital gains tax if their total taxable income is $40,400 or below. So if Social Security payments are a return on investment, why aren’t they taxed at the capital gains rate?
“You don’t know what you can get away until you try”
Flip Wilson