Happy Birthing People’s Day! Wait… what? It’s a libertarian website? Oh… Happy Mother’s Day! I hope everyone is doing or saying something nice to their mother today (assuming she is still with us.) Remember, she put with you when you were a teenager.

Since we are talking about women today, I thought I would outshine our newest Supreme Court justice by defining a woman. It’s an adult human female. An ovary bearer. A person who lactates when pregnant and often for a time afterward. You know, a lady.

There really is a difference between men and women. Viva la difference! You aren’t better or worse for being one or the other. But you have certain advantages depending on the sport.

Male athletes have longer and larger bones, which provide a clear mechanical advantage over female athletes. The increased articular surface and larger structure of male bones provide them with a greater leverage and a wider frame on which to support muscle. Similarly, the ligaments of female athletes are generally laxer and more fragile than those of their male counterparts. This gives male athletes an advantage in sports that involve throwing, kicking, and hitting, and explains the higher incidence of musculoskeletal injuries among female athletes. On the other hand, female athletes have a wider pelvis and a lower center of gravity, which provides excellent balance. There is a reason no man, including a trans man, can compete in women’s gymnastics. Think about the parallel bars, floor exercises, and balance beam. No dude, or former dude, is going to outcompete a woman.

Male athletes have a higher ratio of muscle mass to body weight, which allows for greater speed and acceleration. This explains why female speed records in running and swimming are consistently 10 percent slower than men’s, and why, on average, they have two thirds of the strength of men. I wonder how this plays out in the real world?

Endurance is largely determined by a body’s efficiency when converting calories into energy. Female athletes are more efficient than male athletes at converting glycogen to energy. Glycogen is a secondary source of fuel you use when glucose levels drop. This is why female athletes excel in ultra-long-distance sports and rarely hit the wall during long races. It also explains why ultra-running, which includes races longer than a marathon, is one of the few sports where elite female and male athletes regularly compete together, and in which female athletes sometimes win.

This week’s music is tough to choose because there are so many hard rock and metal songs about mothers. We will start with one in the spirit of the holiday. Next is one with some good parenting advice. Finally, a jaunty number outside my usual oeuvre.

Happy Mother’s Day! (You’re welcome, Tonio.)