“Fucking Republicans,” Hillary said, stretching her bulk across the bed languidly, like a spreading puddle of an oil spill befouling a seabird estuary. Huma mumbled in her sleep and resumed snoring.
“Do you know how many little trailer trash brats I would have had to pay for without abortion? Half-Black stripper babies? That little fat Jew had two herself,” Hillary continued. She pushed against Huma’s hip to wake her up.
“Washington DC runs on abortion. It just couldn’t exist without it,” Hillary said as Huma struggled to wake.
“I know, my love,” Huma said, her voice rough and gargled. “But I need to sleep. I have a dozen pussy hats to knit for the protests.”
“I want one with a dick hanging off it. We mus’nt forget our trans allies this time. Men can have periods, men can get pregnant, men can have abortions!” She wobbled on the bed as she ranted.
Huma rolled off the bed and stumbled to the bathroom, farting as she struggled with the toilet lid. “I wish you would put the seat down, dearest,” she grumbled, coughing to clear her throat.
“Never!” Hillary said. “I support our trans allies.”
Huma coughed some more.
“And non-binaries! Them need abortions too! Can you imagine the gender dysphoria of having to have a theybie? What’s more binary than being reminded you have a vagina by pushing a baby out of it? Disgusting!”
Huma flushed the toilet and shuffled back into the bedroom. “I’m going downstairs. Do you want anything?”
“My reproductive rights!’ Hillary squealed. “And the TV remote.”
“Where is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where have you looked?”
“Everywhere.”
“Everywhere?”
Hillary grunted and lifted her right breast out of her armpit. The TV remote landed beside her.
“I’ve asked you not to eat in bed,” Huma said tiredly.
“Whatever do you mean?” Hillary asked innocently.
“There’s a chicken wing stuck to your stomach.”
“Oh, sorry.” She peeled the wing away, popped it into her mouth, and crunched it down, bones and all.
“Do you want anything?” Huma asked again.
“No, just a dick for my pussy hat, and maybe a cloaca on the back to show enby pride. “
Huma yawned, nodding, while Hillary yelled into the TV remote, “Find Hillary Clinton!” and shook it when it didn’t respond.
The TV remote landed beside her.
They’ve fallen out of worse places.
…like a spreading puddle of an oil spill befouling a seabird estuary.
Lol. Perfect description.
Dawn dishwashing ain’t getting that stain out.
The chicken wing got me. Excellent as usual!
Pure poetry, from the first line. Luckily nobody else is home to hear me laughing.
Suspension of disbelief, shattered. Huma doesn’t knit, especially not for vulgar rent-a-mobbies.
It would be for staffers and Planned Parenthood execs.
*looks down at pastrami that was going to be lunch*
NOPE.
Dude, I just ate a roast beef sandwich, and it’s all I can do to keep it down.
Going out for tacos instead?
Euphemisim?
You be the judge!
There is a reason TPTB didn’t give the Tuesday lunch slot to SF.
… stretching her bulk across the bed languidly, like a spreading puddle of an oil spill befouling a seabird estuary.
Pure poetry.
Please tell me you just made this up.
Well he made it up by staring into a water bowl on a brass tripod at midnight like Nostradamus.
Just know that this will be a thing soon.
I did. But it is a fairly easy joke, so someone probably beat me to it.
Yup
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Theybie
Theybie is a gender-neutral way to refer to one’s child or to a young nonbinary person. Originally coined by parents who wished to avoid imposing societal gender-roles their infants, it has more recently been adopted by nonbinary people for use not only to refer to one’s children, but also to an enby of whom one is fond, just as “baby” is a term of affection.
Try as I might, reality always manages to be more gut-churning.
Who knew infant, baby, toddler, tot, and child were gendered?
Special Snowflakes who hate reality.
Try as I might, reality always manages to be more gut-churning.
You give yourself too little credit.
Hope he doesn’t take that as a challenge.
JFC.
AKA “child abusers”
So what’s an enby?
Non-binary -> NB -> Enby
Cutesy way to say they/them.
I find “it” to be a sufficent, economical, and grammatical way to refer to people who eschew gendered pronouns.
Men can have periods, men can get pregnant, men can have abortions!
How do you know? Are you a biologist?
Also LPGA Players
LPGA champ Lydia Ko leaves reporter speechless after ‘time of the month’ response
I’ve never been sure if it was all of them however.
“it felt a lot better after he came”
And so did he!
I know I do.
I am a biologist. Those people are full of shit. #appealtoauthority
I’m generally appreciative of this place when I learn my Glib word of the day.
Except on Wednesdays. “Enby”? C’mon – no need to help the QWERTY people further pollute the language..
At least I still have no idea what those Quortle thingies are about.
A word game of some type. It has captured the attention of quite a few Glibs.
There’s two things I scroll past: Quordle, and the competitive music linking.
So sophisticated.
Competitive Music?
That’s a good one.
Here’s another
Competitive music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVYR-ubqzuw
We’re feeling good from the pills we took…
Nice selection, nick!
https://youtu.be/JSIw0nD5GT0
It’s OK, RC. We’re not all perfect.
Oh, I know you’re not. But that’s OK; I’m tolerant that way.
As far as I can tell it’s a less racist Hangman, because you don’t draw the little picture of a
Blackperson beinglynchedhanged.From the dead thread, re sticks and crazy… A Kentucky (KY) friend advises,
“Hit it and quit it.”
Like Johnsonville?
I like Sheboygan brand better.
Oy….
*looks at photo*
Ow, muh eye!
men can have abortions
Does getting its nuts chopped off count?
I know it’s SF when I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or hurl.
The three are not mutually exclusive.
You can do any one of those things hard enough to make you do the other two.
OT- at the Baltimore airport and masking is at about 5%.
Most of those are college aged, or senior citizens.
But there was 1 couple in masks, plus she had a face shield and he was wearing goggles. They were late 20’s or early 30’s.
Good. Stupid people should be conspicuous.
That wouldn’t even stop a fart. Not that I am suggesting anything…,
Crop dusting?
Nice.
I honestly expected a higher percentage of people would be continuing the freak-out.
There seemed to be slightly more masking at the supermarket today than when I went last week, but not a lot.
Gas was $4.19 and diesel $6.19 a gallon. Thank you, Brandon.
Those of us paying $5 a gallon are jealous.
Blech. I have medical stuff on Monday and the mask is required.
Damnit.
My dad is getting surgery on the other eye at the beginning of June. I have no idea what sort of restrictions the ambulatory surgery place is going to have by then.
Fed raises rates half a point and signals more to come.
*half a percentage*
Reeeeeeeeeecession.
I’m surprised they did that before the election.
Well they’re safe now because people are mad about abortions.
The rest of the 4.0 to 5.0% will come the day after the election…
“Look what those fucking knuckle dragging GOP did! It’s their fault!”
Isn’t it always before an election?
I just don’t quite have this kind of disposable income. Love the color. I don’t think I’ve seen it before.
1971 CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZR2 CONVERTIBLE
I think I remember seeing one very similar at Barrett-Jackson. Not my favorite generation of ‘Vettes.
I have to say, though. I was prepared to dislike the new mid-engine ‘Vettes, but there are a few I see around town, and I’m liking them.
I don’t hate them either.
I’d like to know what actual out the door costs on average have been. Between dealer markup and options I’m sure the base price is a fiction.
I’ve heard of $30-40K mark-ups being hung on them.
The Covid slow down really added to that.
The new Vette is a lovely European mid-engine sports car. It is not a Corvette however,
Basically “British Racing Green”.
My thoughts exactly.
At least on my monitor much more blue and metallic as well compared to British Racing Green.
Somewhat appropriate.. it looks the evil hacker 4chan is trying to make #abortathon a thing. We’ll see if it’s as successful as the OK symbol or fades into freebleeding.
I hope this one fizzles out. Unlike those others, this endangers lives.
The OK symbol didn’t actually happen. The media just kept repeating that it happened.
Didn’t an Hispanic sanitation engineer get fired over it?
Electric utility worker in San Diego
And an EMT here in Cleveland.
There’s a less than zero chance that a proggie got herself knocked up and aborted just for the creds.
You mean greater than zero.
There is, however, a less than zero chance of Robert Downey Jr. being an insane drug addict.
Sheesh! And may I say it’s an honor to have been corrected by none other than yourself 🙂
A million dollars for a ’71 Corvette? Sure I would.
It’s just a tad excessive.
Fed raises rates half a point and signals more to come.
Putting the real rate at -5% or thereabouts?
LOL!
https://www.city-journal.org/a-return-to-fundamentals
REEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next – banish the concept of rational-basis review.
Subordinating policy to the Constitution will certainly hinder plans.
Now use this in conjunction with the 4A.
Its the details. ??
As someone that appreciates the ‘larger ladies’, that can be a thing.
Bill McClintock with strong double shot.
Survivor and Merle Haggard – “Eye of the Haggard” – https://youtu.be/JLj3P7UMk4w
Survivor and The Whispers – “Rocking the Eye of the Tiger” – https://youtu.be/uLpDZrpWpOc
Ah, Razorfist’s latest rant about the leaked SCOTUS draft brings the cheese.
And for some fucking reason the Canadian contenders to replace Erin The Tool as our new leader of the Conservative Party of Canada have decided that what’s going on in the ‘States is in any way relevant to, important for or determinative of the Canadian reaction or experience concerning legalized abortion (which was decided by the SCOC back in the mid-80s and has not been seriously re-visited anywhere since except in the minds of Canadian feminists who seem to have trouble distinguishing between the two countries, much less reality versus fantasy). My e-mail Inbox this A.M. was the proud recipient of a screed from one of the contenders pointing out that the lead candidate (Pierre Poilievre) has not yet made a statement about this issue. The horror! Fetch me my pearls to clutch, my smelling salts and my fainting couch!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
the lead candidate (Pierre Poilievre) has not yet made a statement about this issue
“The potential for a court in another country to overturn one if its previous decisions, which has no effect in Canada, is not a concern of mine.”