IFLA: The “Cinco de DUCK AND COVER!” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of April 30

by | Apr 30, 2023 | IFLA | 52 comments

Sometimes the wrestling is basically sumo.

What’s worse than MERCURY RETROGRADE?Β  MERCURY RETROGRADE empowered by other planets.Β  That’s not unusual, since Mercury is a slut sociable, but this week, well, at least it’s not controlling immediately, so you have some time to act on this warning.Β  The week doesn’t start off terribly stable, with the moon in Virgo followed up on Monday with Saturn bringing the kind of gloomy outlook only a castrated cannibal with a rock in his stomach can.Β  But on Thursday, the Earth and the Sun start dropping into… unfavorable positions and by Friday, we’ve got everything this side of Jupiter directly interacting with MERCURY RETROGRADE indicating chaos of Benny Hillian proportions.

The cards are also not very happy this week.Β  When the autocomplete starts suggesting “reversed” with every entry, things are not going well.

Taurus:Β  The Chariot – Succor, providence, war, triumph, presumption, vengeance, trouble.

Gemini:Β  Queen of Cups reversed – Distinguished woman but one not to be trusted; perverse woman; vice, dishonor, depravity.

Cancer:Β  The Hermit reversed – Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution.

Leo:Β  10 of Swords reversed- Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent.

Virgo:Β  King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

Libra:Β  Strength reversed – Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, disgrace.

Scorpio:Β  Knight of Wands – Departure, absence, flight, emigration. A dark young man, friendly. Change of residence.

Sagittarius:Β  7 of Coins reversed – Β Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially regarding investments or lending.

Capricorn:Β  10 of Wands reversed – Contrarieties, difficulties, intrigues.

Aquarius:Β  Death – Deeeeaaaaathhh!

Pisces:Β  The High Priestess reversed – Passion, ardor, conceit, surface knowledge.

Aries:Β  The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

52 Comments

  1. Not Adahn

    I’ve started watching Kleo. Not sure if I like it. It’s kind of La Femme Nikita, but German with occasional surreality.

    • Not Adahn

      Also, more commie.

  2. Tundra

    Sometimes the wrestling is basically sumo.

    That husky is gorgeous. They are spazzes, but so damn beautiful.

    Leo: 10 of Swords reversed- Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent.

    Tell me about it.

    • Not Adahn

      That’s Ghost. He and Dakota started beating up on Lily the first day she came to the dog par. Now Lily pretty much owns him.

      She’s also friends with the huskies Beans and Koda, and ignores Apollo, Bear, Eva, Luna, the other Luna… there are a whole lot of huskies here.

      • Ted S.

        Ghost is lovely.

        And yeah, huskies are a handful.

  3. juris imprudent

    Aries: The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

    And it’s not even tax week.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 7 of Coins reversed – Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially regarding investments or lending.

    Does that mean I should hold off on buying this?

    • juris imprudent

      So un-woke, don’t they understand the excesses of capitalism on display?

      • Michael Malaise

        They seem like regular blokes. You know, most of the people in the world who aren’t in the media every nanosecond.

    • Michael Malaise

      I have never been so proud to be an American.

    • Brochettaward

      They are British so it goes without saying that they are a little gay at a minimum, but they’re willingness to share food and takes bites at the exact same spots on whatever they were consuming was super gay.

      • juris imprudent

        Go ahead and admit it, that aroused you.

    • DrOtto

      I wonder if they’re at “Club Buc’ees” as I refer to it in New Braunfels? Ended up there after bar once, it’s an experience. Also, brisket tacos may prevent hangovers.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    And, of course, the prissy douchebags in the BaT comments are whining because there is a possibility that someone, at some point in the last eighty fucking years, might have altered something on that Caddy.

    • Not Adahn

      Since I’m not an antique machines guy, what are you allowed to change? Obviously most(?) internal parts on a car are consumable.

      • UnCivilServant

        It depends on the buyer. Whe whiners probably get up in a huff if you changed so much as the oil.

      • UnCivilServant

        *The whiners.

        I’m not that picky

      • DrOtto

        You can change whatever you want, just keep the old parts so it can be changed back. I have several cars that I have modified, but all can be returned to stock because I have retained the original camshaft, exhaust, ECMs, etc.

    • Tundra

      So fucking tedious.

      I went to a Triumph event once where some of the dudes were lamenting my aftermarket exhaust and Weber carb. Fuck you, grandpa, I want to drive the fucking thing.

      • Gustave Lytton

        As long as the Lucas electrics are retained…

      • DrOtto

        Lucas – driving at the speed of dark

      • Animal

        My oldest buddy Dave, when he retired from the railroad, went out and found a 1968 Cougar XR-7, just like he had in high school. He stripped it down, had the body completely reworked, painted it white, had a black vinyl top put on it so it would look just like his original one. Then he changed the 8-inch rear end for a 9-inch limited slip axle and put in a built 428 Cobra Jet and a top-loader four-speed with an overdrive.

        The guy who helped him restore the body was lamenting that he was using new aftermarket parts, for example, a new electronic module for the sequential turn signals instead of the original little camshaft arrangement. Meanwhile the guy that was building the 428 for him kept saying things like, “if you go with a higher profile solid-lifter cam, I can get you ten more horsepower.”

        Finally he took them both aside and told them, “Listen, I’m not building a museum piece or a race car. I’m building a time machine.”

        He’s one a bunch of awards at Street Rod events with it. Now he’s working on 1970 Mustang Mach I with a drag pack.

        Moral of the story: It’s your property, do what the hell you want with it.

    • DrOtto

      Yeah, I love BaT but some of those guys take themselves a little too seriously. On another note, I almost inherited a ’62 Series 62 from a great uncle just a few years back. No one closer wanted the car till I said yes, then suddenly there were 2 other takers higher up the list that hadn’t wanted it previously. It was a pristine and low mile example that only came out in perfect weather. I had no idea where it was going to be parked at the time. We’re closing on a 40×60 storage garage in 2 weeks with every intent of filling that with vintage wheeled iron, so that I never have that problem again.

  6. Tundra

    More doggie:

    Reminder.

    • Shirley Knott

      That’s wonderful, thanks!

    • EvilSheldon

      That is a work of art, but…way too expensive for something that I’d probably roll off a cliff…

    • Rebel Scum
  7. Homple

    “Virgo: King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.”

    So, an ordinary day in the US of A.

  8. EvilSheldon

    First USPSA major of the year is in the books. I managed my usual ‘occasional flashes of brilliance mire in a sea of stupidity’ performance. Really good match though. Great stages, good mix of speed and precision, and the weather held out for the Saturday shooters and no one else. The Sunday squads are shooting in a torrential downpour as we speak. πŸ˜€

    • Not Adahn

      My first major isn’t until June. I’ve goth three this year.

      Until then I’ll keep shooting PROD, but CO in IDPA since I can use the same gun there.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not an Icon fan.

    They powder coated the body. Seriously? Too much “crazy/outrageous for its own sake” in their builds.

  10. Michael Malaise

    Aries β€” The Magician β€” Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

    Well that’s a fucking plot twist.

  11. Brochettaward

    So, a few people objected to me saying that the term culture war, used as it often is to dismiss certain topics as being worthy of serious political consideration, is pretty damn meaningless. It’s a blanket term people use to describe things they personally don’t care about or think matter.

    I used the example of gun rights. One could easily lump that in as a culture war issue. I drew a comparison to abortion when the inevitable objection to that arose. Abortion is a culture war distraction, but not fighting against any and all gun control.

    • EvilSheldon

      As I said in the last thread, not fighting over cultural issues means ceding them to the people who do want to fight (meaning proggies in this case.) The political damage comes after the left has sewn up the cultural position.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    This one would suit me just fine:

    Much better. You wouldn’t worry too much about loading that one up with muddy bird dogs and shotguns. Or leaving it at a trilhead for a day or two.

  13. Penguin

    10 of Swords reversed- Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent.

    Had to add that last bit, eh, Not Adahn?

    • Not Adahn

      10s is a pretty shitty card.

      • Penguin

        Well, you have to suck it up and play through. If you’re going to live through the good times, you can deal with the hard times

        At least you have a cool dog to follow you.

    • Penguin

      Sorry to hear, Kristen. That sounds like one of those near-forever messes. Hope they can figure a way out soon.

    • limey

      Fiddlesticks.

    • Mojeaux

      {{{hugs}}}

  14. robc

    Final WCC update:

    Round 14 yesterday was a draw, going to tiebreakers today.

    First up was 4 rapid rounds: draw, draw, draw, and in the last round Ding Liren won with the black pieces.

    Congratulations to China’s first chess champion!

    Because the classical portion was tied 7-7, Ding failed to overtake Nepo in the world rankings, so our new world champion is ranked 3rd in the world.

  15. DEG

    Preview image: STEVE SMITH’s bovine cousin?

    Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent.

    “None of these are permanent” makes this borderline sufficiently shitty.

    Nice dog videos.

    • limey

      BULL SMITH? He’s a minotaur, ain’t he?

  16. Rebel Scum

    Aquarius: Death – Deeeeaaaaathhh!

    So it should be a good week.