IFLA: The “It’s Difficult to find Sufficiently Humorous Quips about Virgo” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 1

by | Sep 1, 2024 | IFLA | 45 comments

This week should be pretty good. Nothing major until midweek, when we get all sorts of happenings… happening. The core of this is the “perfection/balance/harmony/completion” of Mars – Sol – Venus which gives us three days of goodness. At the beginning we get a bonus bit of luck with Mercury joining the line, but it moves out quickly. That same day we should expect instability at your home though in context, I’d be more inclined to read Saturn retrograde as “beginning” than the alternatives. This reading is reinforced by the arrangement that forms after the moon moves out of the way — the Sun adds sustenance/growth to the Saturn retrograde influence. Leo continues its good run from last week, Virgo gets kind of screwed. Not bad, but not as good as it could (should?) be.

Virgo: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.

Libra: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity.

Scorpio: Queen of Wands – A dark woman, countrywoman, friendly, chaste, loving, honorable. A Ukranian woman or a Trans woman.

Sagittarius: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude, a slow car or a trip that takes longer than usual.

Capricorn: Knight of Cups –  Arrival, approach, messenger, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement.

Aquarius: The Lovers – Challenges overcome, and whatever else is implied by naked people.

Pisces: 4 of Coins reversed – Someone is making a play for what’s yours.

Aries: 6 of Cups reversed – past results are no indication of future performance. This is one of those times.

Taurus: Justice Reversed – Law, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.

Gemini: The Fool – Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment. 

Cancer: 2 of Wands reversed – Surprise, wonder, enchantment, emotion, trouble, fear.

Leo: The Devil reversed – Evil, weakness, pettiness, blindness.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

45 Comments

  1. Sean

    “Cancer: 2 of Wands reversed – Surprise, wonder, enchantment, emotion, trouble, fear.”

    Ooh, it’s gonna be kinky sex.

    • Suthenboy

      My brother and I are at the Tex RenFair sitting at a table drinking beer. My nephew is with us…good looking 18 year old kid. Brother and I are laughing our asses off about all of the ‘adults’ walking by taking themselves so seriously dressed as elves and fairies and such when nephew points out some of the very scantily clad young women walking by.
      “I think I should stay the night here. I am at the age where I should be doing stuff like that. They have an overnight camp, right?”
      I replied: “Why yes nephew, they do. You might want to consider that more carefully. See that guy over there? *points to a dude about 6’5″, shaved head to toe, wearing some kind of black leather straps and nothing else* He will probably be your bed mate. And, see that miniature horse over there? He is not gelded. Wanna know why? I promise you he will earn his oats tonight.”
      Nephew, knowing how I am…snarky but usually right….put that idea out of his head very quickly.

      Kinky sex huh Sean? Be careful what you wish for.

      • EvilSheldon

        You say this, but you did paid the admission fee, no?

      • Suthenboy

        Hey, I dont kink shame you, do I?

      • R C Dean

        “He will probably be your bed mate. And, see that miniature horse over there? He is not gelded.”

        “Hey, I’ve already decided to stay over. You don’t have to sell me on it.”

      • EvilSheldon

        True, but you also don’t know all my kinks…

      • UnCivilServant

        Let me guess – your kink is kink shaming.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude, a slow car or a trip that takes longer than usual.

    Responsibility? Anything but that.

  3. Suthenboy

    Wait a minute. That cant be right. I am not Pisces or Libra.

  4. The Gunslinger

    “Capricorn: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach, messenger, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement.’

    Ooh, it’s gonna be kinky sex.

  5. SDF-7

    Do not let Sloopy tell us nothing of consequence happened regarding sports this weekend.

    Just watched the F3 Feature Race (longer race of two on the weekend, this one at Monza, Italy) — last race of the season, roller coaster of a race… championship decided in the final corner. Seriously — if you enjoy auto racing at all, try to find a way to watch it or at least the highlights. It was great (and part of why I think it is worth subscribing to the F1TV service… F3 and F2 are very often more entertaining than the DRS trains of F1).

    • rhywun

      Do not let Sloopy tell us nothing of consequence happened regarding sports this weekend.

      The last couple days of the US Open have been bananas on the men’s side. To the point where multiple Americans actually have a shot at winning the thing for the first time in decades.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    F3 and F2 are very often more entertaining than the DRS trains of F1).

    Back when what is now F2 was GP2, the racing was far and away better than the “elite premier series”.

  7. CPRM

    Taurus: Justice Reversed – Law, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.

    Do the government agents at least do me the solid of using a Honeypot to ensnare me?

    • Suthenboy

      These days govt honeytraps probably mean a middle aged dude in a dress.

  8. Fourscore

    I was out spraying weeds around the house, was going to spray around the Dish (2), a few feet away I was surprised by black hornets. They were all around me, stinging. First was about 1/2 inch above my eye, I knocked my glasses off trying to escape. Then my left wrist, then my right forearm. I don’t run very well or very fast but fortunately they didn’t follow very far. I was close to the house, found some bug spray. Went back, the nest was the size of a softball, hanging below the receiving arm. Resolved the problem, picked up my glasses. Then sprayed around the poles with Roundup.

    I’ve been planning to take the unused equipment out, a friend was going to come over with a Bobcat but hadn’t quite got around to it. Hornets aren’t like honey bees but I’m not allergic so the stings are already moderating. Glad that my glasses were OK.

    • Suthenboy

      My deep affection for honeybees is mirrored by my intense hatred of wasps. Well…the aggressive stinging paper wasps that is. Both my brother and I keep a red Ryder BB gun and cans of spray handy at all times. We have a running contest to see who can kill the most.
      The burrowing, non-aggressive wasps (save yellow jackets) I dont mind at all. In fact I am somewhat fond of this species:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dasymutilla_occidentalis
      They prey primarily on yellow jackets and are not aggressive at all towards people.

      • Don escaped Texas

        hatred of wasps

        I’ve got it from hornets but never learned to hate them.

        I hate mud daubers: they ugly up the house, and you can’t just hose off the nests….you gotta scrub some.
        And they goop up the dryer flue and the air inlet for the fireplace.

      • Tres Cool

        Why would you deny them affordable housing ?

      • Suthenboy

        Yep, dirt dobbers are a pain in the ass but wasps/hornets prey on honeybees and occasionally kill people. Different ball park.

      • Timeloose

        The white faced hornet is a great fly killer. They are also awful if they nest in and around the house. If they are around the yard I leave them alone.

        Yellow jackets I kill with chemical warfare and fire.

  9. Tres Cool

    Birthday breakfast with Tres Ver 2.0, then out for some trap shooting.
    Trap lanes were full, so we went with skeet. Its a good thing nobody is counting on us to bring bird home for supper.

    Couldn’t be a much better day to be outside tho. Until I came home to find the a/c is out. Immediately after I got my clothes dryer fixed….

    • UnCivilServant

      Did you check the thermostat?

      • Tres Cool

        Always. The fan and air handler is going but the compressor isnt compressing.
        Still, good timing. We’re due very temperate weather this week. Of course neither I nor Jugsy will be here.

      • Fourscore

        I think we’re finished with AC for the summer, I think we had it on for 2-3 weeks, had 2 days about 90 or so. Some mornings scheduled for the 40s in a few days.

  10. Rebel Scum

    The Lovers – Challenges overcome, and whatever else is implied by naked people.

    I’m getting laid?

    • Ted S.

      STEVE SMITH FIND REBEL SCUM CHALLENGE….

    • Suthenboy

      Calm down. You are just having a bath.

      • rhywun

        Not it.

  11. Rebel Scum
  12. Evan from Evansville

    Taurus: Justice Reversed – Law, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.

    Hrm. Well, legal issues have never been a ‘real’ concerns. (Nothing past interrogation. That was interesting.) I’m leaning towards “excessive severity,” likely at work. I have many observational testings to go through, still. They are quite strict, which is oddly pleasing. Still highly anticipatory of my first paycheck. It should be astounding by ev standards. I’m gonna call that bias *in favor* of me! That’s all well-and-good, yeah? Yes. Yes, it is.

  13. Sean

    Smells like roast pork up in here.

    • Tres Cool

      Like on a hot summer day, when I push that FUPA back, and the fumes come percolating up from her fat roll.

      Mmmmmmm.

      • R C Dean

        That’s, that’s . . . practically SugarFree level.

      • Tres Cool

        You flatter me, sir.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Smells like roast pork up in here.

    That’s not much of a euphemism.