The Hat and The Hair: Episode 129

by | Jul 31, 2019 | Hat and Hair, SugarFree | 337 comments

Marianne Williamson had a big night in the Democratic debate. Here are 7 things to know about her.

 

“Marianne, my Marianne, how I swoon,” Donald dreamily.

“She’s a loon,” the hat said, “A California raisin.”

“Don’t say that,” the hair snapped.

“Say what, snowflake?” the hat asked.

“The California r-word!”

“California retard?” the hat asked, mystified.

“You know what I’m talking about,” the hair replied. “They were all black in the commercials. Singing Motown? One had a saxophone?”

The hat snorted in disgust.

“Marianne,” Donald said again. He let out a gasp of breath to fog the icy can of his Diet Coke and drew a heart with an arrow through it through the condensation with a trembling finger.

“She’s not your type at all, Donald,” the hair said. “She’s all astrology charts and moonbeams. She called you a dark psychic force of collectivized hatred.”

“I like the moon,” Donald said. “I’m going to go there someday. I’ll feed Space Force troops their first Interplanetary Thanksgiving.”

“OK, Donald,” the hat said, scrolling through Donald’s phone and retweeting and replying with vicious taps of his bill.

“Maybe I’ll dress up like a turkey!” Donald exclaimed.

“I don’t want to go into space, Donald,” the hair said.

“You’ll probably be dead by then,” the hat said distractedly.

“What do you mean by that?” the hair asked.

“Just what I said,” said the hat. “Dead. You. Time. No Space Force for you.”

“Oh, go, I don’t know, fuck a chair or whatever,” the hair said weakly.

“There’s not a stick of furniture in this whole damn building I haven’t had,” the hat said coldly.

“I wonder if Marianne will look pretty in space,” Donald asked no one.

“The desk you work at, the bed you sleep in, the credenza where you store your fancy-damn towels,” the hat continued. “I’ve fucked them all!”

“You’re a monster!” the hair cried.

“And you love me for it! Worship me for it!” the hat screamed.

“Would McDonald’s make for a nice first date?” Donald asked.

“Like the whole desk, too,” the hat said.

“Ugh,” the hair grunted and raised himself up off the desktop with his ambulatory tendrils.

“But, like, not just any McDonald’s, like my favorite McDonald’s.”

“You love it,” the hat said to the hair.

“But how do I choose my favorite McDonald’s? It’s like having to choose between my children.”

“It’s a real Sophie’s Choice, Donald,” the hat said.

“Ivanka, obviously,” the hair said, stepping carefully to the edge of the desk, jumped to Donald’s shoulder and then to his head.

“Oh, yeah, that too,” the hat said with a leer.

“FUCK!” the hair yelled.

“Who’s Sophie?” Donald asked. “Is she prettier than Marianne?”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

337 Comments

  1. Rebel Scum

    “Ivanka, obviously,”

    Duh.

  2. CPRM

    Huzzah! (also my video for tonight is still pending if someone can get it through)

    • AlexinCT

      Rub & Tug cream FTW!

    • ChipsnSalsa

      I’ll take essential oils over the solution’s we are getting now.

      They usually smell better.

    • Jarflax

      I thought they didn’t like oil?

    • Hyperion

      Probably will work better than the Green New Deal and save us a bunch of money.

  3. AlexinCT

    Donald’s gonna get one whiff of that patchouli smelling woman and suddenly have problems getting it up?

  4. R C Dean

    Marianne Williamson got just under nine minutes of speaking time at Tuesday’s second Democratic presidential debate, held in Detroit — roughly half the airtime claimed by rivals Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders.

    I love the way they don’t even pretend to be fair. You’d think Rule 1 of a debate would be “everybody gets equal time”.

    • Brett L

      Some animals are more equal than others. It’s right there in how-to manual 1984

      • leon

        Animal Farm/pedant

      • Brett L

        Shit. I won’t use my editing powers for evil this time. Just leave my indiscriminate conflations of Orwell up for everyone to ridicule me about.

      • leon

        I appreciate your humble restraint. Lord knows there are some unwilling to present themselves,warts and all, to the glibertariat.

      • Swiss Servator

        *squints suspiciously*

        Just…who do you mean?

      • Gadfly

        Just…who do you mean?

        STEVE SMITH?

    • Rhywun

      She probably didn’t spend half her time talking over everyone else like Sitting BS and Sanders.

    • Hyperion

      “Marianne Williamson got just under nine minutes of speaking time at Tuesday’s second Democratic presidential debate”

      If you’re a nutcase, the DNC is going to give you speaking time. I don’t care if you just walked in off the street, if you’re batshit crazy enough, you’ll get onstage.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    I hope that’s a Betsy Ross flag behind her.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    She could rub her essential oils on me any time she wanted.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Not bad for 67.

  7. Q Continuum

    “”Can promiscuous sex contain love?” I ask.

    “Absolutely. Usually, people associate promiscuity with quantity, but that really has nothing to do with it. If there’s love, a genuine soul connection, then it is not promiscuous. On the other hand, you can know someone for years and have sex many times, but it can still be promiscuous if it doesn’t contain love!”

    “Do you feel sorry for the new generation that missed the drugs and sex?”

    “Yes, they’ve been robbed of something. The Nineties will be interesting. Although we no longer want to jump into bed with a stranger, the air’s beginning to crackle with genuine romantic energy. So everything will be fine.””

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199207/marianne-williamson-who-is-she-why-do-we-need-her-now

    Casual sex is a human right! Taxpayer funded orgies for all!

    • R C Dean

      *registers Dem to vote for Marianne in the primary*

      It really is incredible how much media oxygen she is sucking out of the room. The more “serious” no-hopers have to be tearing their hair out.

      • Brett L

        Don’t get into the same spiral the Left did with Trump. First he was a joke, then he was a tool to beat other “serious” candidates with, then he was president. If you don’t want her to be president, don’t help her in any way.

      • leon

        But I kinda do want her to be president.

      • leon

        Just to see what talking points we get from those who complained about the sanctity of the office.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        leon just wants to see the world burn.

        *grabs popcorn*

        I’m right there with ya buddy.

      • BEAM's not a team player

        But I kinda do want her to be president.

        Ah. Well. Alrighty then.

        Carry on.

      • Rebel Scum

        I want Trump to appoint her to the UN and make Tulsi his SecDef.

      • AlexinCT

        Than hold 3 way erm, ….. meetings?

      • Psycho Effer

        I’ll buy that for a dollar!

    • Brett L

      Synonyms for promiscuous: Casual, indiscrminiate

      1 : having or involving many sexual partners : not restricted to one sexual partner or few sexual partners

      I don’t pass any moral judgement on sexual promiscuity, but it seems to preclude monogamy or emotional intimacy by definition

      • leon

        “I don’t pass any moral judgement on sexual promiscuity”

        I do, but I’m not gonna stop anyone.

      • Brett L

        As long as everyone’s an adult, able to give consent, and does so that’s their business. I married into a monogamous relationship by choice, so it really doesn’t affect me any more. Fuck away, other adults.

      • leon

        I guess that’s my view too.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Yes, the MYOB principle. My personal qualms with promiscuous sex shouldn’t be enough to keep you from doing it.

      • Hyperion

        I feel the same, it’s your body, do whatever you please! Just not with me.

      • Hyperion

        In my wifetime, I’ve know a few swinger couples. None of those relationships lasted very long. I’m with one woman because she’s great and not crazy and I don’t have to worry about STDs.

      • Not Adahn

        Nice John-o

      • Swiss Servator

        That simply HAD to be deliberate.

      • Hyperion

        LOL, it wasn’t Swiss, but now I’m just going to claim it was, thanks!

      • Ozymandias

        He speaks with a lisp… like Elmer Fudd.
        “I’ve seen many tings… in my wifetime… heh-heh-heh.”

      • Rasilio

        On the flip side my wife and I have been in an open relationship for almost 18 years and we have multiple friends who have been in them for well over 20 years

        Based on my experience the only correlation between the duration of a relationship and whether it is monogamous or open is that open relationships kill weak relationships faster than they would have ultimately burned out anyway

      • Spartacus

        You’ll never get anywhere in political discourse if you aren’t making up your own definitions.

    • Hyperion

      “Casual sex is a human right! Taxpayer funded orgies for all!”

      Don’t forget the funding for the STD treatments.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Exactly, screw around if you want to. I don’t want the government to force me to foot the bill for your STD treatments.

      • Not Adahn

        THE ONLY REASON THE GOVERNMENT HASN’T CURED AIDS, HERPES, SYPHILIS AND GONORRHEA IS BECASUE CHRISTFAGGIN FUNDIE RETHUGLICANS ARE BLOCKING THEM111

      • Lord Humungus

        VD NEVER TRY TO GET STEVE SMITH. STEVE SMITH RAPE VD.

    • leon

      I have a hard time believing this because it’s highly illegal. But at the same time I could see this happening without having legal review.

    • Brett L

      Uh, how does that NOT open them to an EEO suit?

      • DEG

        They’re Democrats. Some animals are more equal than others.

      • R C Dean

        Ooh, I know that one. Fahrenheit 451, right?

      • Brett L

        …and now its a meme. I am immortalized!

      • leon

        It’s a good thing I work from home and muted myself on the video conference because i laughed pretty uncontrollably.

      • ron73440

        I thought it was Snow Crash.

      • Rasilio

        In this case I think it is more than they are Congresscritters than Dems. Pretty sure the Repubs in Congress could get away with something similar if they wanted to

      • R C Dean

        My thought exactly. But, its Dem operatives. The fired ones won’t bring a complaint, and the ones who fired them know those laws don’t apply to them.

        But, yes, its blatantly illegal.

      • Brett L

        Does one have to have standing to bring an EEO complaint? Or is it something anyone can turn in to the Department of Labor?

      • R C Dean

        Pretty sure you have to be the victim of discrimination.

        And the fact that they “resigned” isn’t particularly significant. I think “constructive termination” could easily be shown here, at least by a staffer who wasn’t a Troo Bleever who willingly martyred xitself.

      • Brett L

        Also, is it weird that the DCCC has no problem with at-will employment for themselves? I mean, if they list “race” as cause, its a violation of employment law. “Right-to-work” is only good for companies they run?

      • wdalasio

        how does that NOT open them to an EEO suit?

        Because the potential plaintiffs know Seth Rich was also a disgruntled employee of the Democrats.

      • The Other Kevin

        They resigned, which means that either a) they are true believers, or b) they know that if they say something, when it comes to their future employment they’ll end up on some kind of… um… list.

      • Hyperion

        They already have resigned themselves to being cast out and even unpersoned for any reason at all based on identity. If they weren’t, they’d never be working for the Democrats in the first place.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Disposition Matrix II, Termination Boogaloo”

    • Rhywun

      Although roughly half the committee’s full-time staff (13 of 27) were nonwhite

      At this point I don’t see the need to bother with an election next year.

      • The Other Kevin

        I hope someone on Trump’s team is taking screen shots of this stuff before it “disappears” from Google.

      • Hyperion

        Well, like I said, we ain’t seen nothing yet. Is there even one dem candidate who is not fully on board with that reparations bullshit? Just ponder this, an entire group of Democrat candidates who are basically saying, not only will we drive people out of their job based solely on their skin color, but we are going to, at gunpoint, take money from you and give to other people solely based on the color of your skin. They are treading on some seriously scary ground there and they just don’t seem to care or are stoo stupid to. Unbelievable.

      • Rhywun

        I expect a Trump tweet about this soon, after which they will double-down even more. Rinse and repeat.

      • Hyperion

        If Trump misses that one, the hat and the hair must be on a hell of a bender.

    • Hyperion

      “Do you want whites to start voting as an ethnic block? Because this is how you get whites to start voting as an ethnic block.”

      I posted this in the last thread. Yep, they actually just fired people solely based on their skin color. They’re gone completely fucking insane. But not as far as they’re going to. There is no peak batshit crazy.

      • EvilSheldon

        That feeling you get when you bully someone into completely debasing themselves before you, it must be pretty intense.

    • Mad Scientist

      Either the job is so unimportant that anyone with the right combination of grievances can do it, or they’re screwing themselves. I say it’s both.

    • OneOut

      Cry LAWSUIT and let slip the dogs of the courtrooms.

  8. DEG

    She called you a dark psychic force of collectivized hatred.

    Donald… stop moping over Marriane. I’ll bet she’s looking for a Dom and she wants you. Quit the moping and Just go take her.

    • wdalasio

      So, you’re suggesting he grab her by the pussy?

      • Hyperion

        Sounds like that is what he is saying, and then make sure to take the hair’s brush to her behind.

    • CPRM

      You mean she’ll let him do it?

      • leon

        I heard that when you are rich they will let you do anything.

    • peachy rex

      Maybe she meant it as a compliment?

    • Jarflax

      “No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal”

      P.J O’Rourke before TDS

  9. MikeS

    “There’s not a stick of furniture in this whole damn building I haven’t had,” the hat said coldly.

    Favorite line

    • Not Adahn

      Even Lincoln’s horsehair mattress?

    • Sean

      The hat is an objectophile.

      • leon

        So a Randian?

    • Swiss Servator

      Yeah, that one made me blink rapidly for a while.

  10. Brett L

    “But how do I choose my favorite McDonald’s? It’s like having to choose between my children.”

    What is the McDonald’s equivalent of Eric?

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Burger King.

      Wife and I, in a fit of nostalgia, went to the Burger King we were both working at when we met. I was dissapoint.

      • Brett L

        This is true. The Whopper with cheese is still a damn good burger, but not good enough to deal with the shitshow Burger King has become.

      • Rhywun

        Gross. Whatever fake “flame” flavor they use now makes it inedible. Plus the rejected lettuce cores from other restaurants.

      • l0b0t

        Also, at the Brooklyn location by our old place, one’s drive-through tedium was alleviated by having to fend off aggressive pan-handlers who staked out the lane.

  11. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    “I wonder if Marianne will look pretty in space,” Donald asked no one

    +1 Barbarella

    • Creosote Achilles

      Zero G can do wonders for older lady tits.

      • AlexinCT

        Wise man.

    • Hyperion

      “I wonder if Marianne will look pretty in space,” Donald asked no one”

      If he’d like to take her and the Twat Squad and send them there, where can I donate to the effort? On 2nd thought, no, too much entertainment value.

    • leon

      Is it that hard to believe that you must attribute his election to magic?

    • ron73440

      *Double checks url for either Babylon Bee or Onion*

      Come on, that can’t be real.

    • The Other Kevin

      Look, nobody I know voted for Trump, and there aren’t possibly enough stupid rubes in flyover country to vote for him, so it must be magic.

      • AlexinCT

        HEPL EDIT FAIRY!

        *Edit Fairy Blesses You*

      • R C Dean

        My fave.

    • Not Adahn

      That’s just the meme magik/cult of Kek trope that was popular a while back.

    • Mad Scientist

      The usually don’t call it magic, but that’s how morons think everything works. Poor people don’t have enough money, so we’ll give them more by raising the minimum wage and, poof, problem solved! Homeless people are shitting on the sidewalks, so we’ll just make it illegal for the cops to stop them and the problem will magically go away. Too much crime is caused by children not seeing a 10 commandments poster in a classroom. Drugs can be eliminated by just passing a law. Rock and Roll causes satanism. Commercials make people buy things they don’t actually want. And on and on and on.

  12. AlexinCT

    OT: WTF?

    headline: “NEW YORK (FOX 5 NY) – Millennials are apparently holding off on dating, because it’s too expensive.

    Match’s “Singles In America” study examined the dating habits of more than 5,000 American adults found that about a third of millennials feel like their financial stability is having an effect on their readiness to pursue love.

    Additionally, 21 percent believe they need to reach a certain income level before even pursuing a relationship.

    The study also found that a majority of men say the #MeToo movement has caused them to act differently with many of them saying it is has caused them to act more reserved at work towards female colleagues.

    I guess losing your job cause you asked someone out is expensive…

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      The study also found that a majority of men say the #MeToo movement has caused them to act differently

      Can confirm. I’m happily married, but I’ve been exposed to the risks of having a delusional female put her crosshairs on me. I’ve adopted a soft Pence rule.

      • Animal

        I’ve adopted a soft Pence rule.

        #MeToo.

      • Swiss Servator

        “a soft Pence rule”

        There are pills for that. Should be cheaper now that Viagra is out of it’s initial patent timeframe.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        “if your Pence doesn’t recede within four hours, seek an exorcism from your local Baptist pastor”

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I won’t even interact with any of them anymore unless I have to for my job. I mean of course unless they are family or close friend of the family. Otherwise, I stay far away.

    • Gadfly

      Millennials are apparently holding off on dating, because it’s too expensive.

      Sugar daddies rejoice.

    • Lord Humungus

      I’ve been out of the dating/flirting/whatever game for a long, long time. To the point I couldn’t imagine getting back into it if – god forbid – something happens to EF.

      But I must admit I do get a tad nervous when I’m alone in the office with the only woman in our department. Or if I say something stupid – that could be taken as sexist – in a meeting.

      • Brett L

        Another benefit of working remote. At worst, I get a talking too about verbal harassment.

      • Chipwooder

        This is why I never talk to anyone, ever, unless it is absolutely necessary.

    • Brett L

      Jesus, if you can’t afford Netflix and a cheap rose, maybe even a short Uber ride in the morning if you’re a Gentle-xerson, you really are too poor to date.

      • Rasilio

        lol you think chicks are gonna go for a netflix and chill on the first date? No that is for after you have them in a relationship, to get them there you’re looking at $60 – $80 a date minimum for at least 3 – 5 dates and that assumes she doesn’t dump you before you get to the end zone. When you’re taking home $3000 a month and your rent is $1200 dropping $300 a month to go on one date a week is a pretty big deal

      • Brett L

        Maybe this is why I didn’t date much in my 20s. Just went to the bar and parties and hooked up.

      • Rasilio

        Have you seen how much drinks are at the bar now? Beer is $6+, Mixed drinks $8 – $10 or more.

        Throw in a cover charge and buying a couple of rounds for the cutie you are trying to get back to your place and you get to $60 real fast

      • AlexinCT

        $60 – $80 a date minimum for at least 3 – 5 datesM/em>”

        Where are these women? I have not been lucky enough to get off that cheap. I do get to consummate the deed in 1-3 dates however, but that is because of my charm.

    • Tulip

      I rejected two guys I met because they are not financially stable. I am. I want someone who can travel with me or go out to dinner without it being a big financial deal. I feel no guilt.

      • Tulip

        I don’t want or need them to pay for me. I don’t want to pay for them, or cause them hardship.

  13. Nephilium

    OT: Looks like another comeback has been postponed.

    • Rhywun

      It’s hard to believe they can’t find any talent without a history of bigoted tweets and whatnot.

      Or maybe not.

      • Jarflax

        Given the expanded definition of racism, sexism and even rape we have probably hit the point where 100% of the even quasi-literate population is disqualified.

      • Swiss Servator

        STEVE SMITH TALK GOOD! HIM DO BLOG STUFF.

      • Not Adahn

        STEVE SMITH should submit a resume. And let us know about the response.

      • OneOut

        If Hogan has a multi million dollar judgement against them why would anyone buy them and why didn’t the judge not give Hogan the company.

        Have they already satisfied the judgement.

        That is why I would never buy a business, just the assets.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      I guessed Brett Favre before clicking the link.

      • Nephilium

        And that’s why you mouse over the link first.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        He can come back and crush the Vikings fans another time. I think Brett was a double agent on that move.

  14. Certified Public Asshat

    Mario Lopez is trending on Twitter

    Why?

    Look, I’m never one to tell anyone how to parent their kids obviously and I think if you come from a place of love, you really can’t go wrong, but at the same time, my God, if you’re 3 years old and you’re saying you’re feeling a certain way or you think you’re a boy or a girl or whatever the case may be, I just think it’s dangerous as a parent to make this determination then, well, OK, then you’re going to be a boy or a girl, whatever the case may be … It’s sort of alarming and my gosh, I just think about the repercussions later on.

    • leon

      He just doesn’t want the year olds assaulting him in the bathroom.

    • Q Continuum

      Have fun in the memory hole Mario.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That was my take on it yesterday. Lopez is now unpersoned.

        No Google Camps for him.

    • Naptown Bill

      What’s interesting about this is that a.) Mario Lopez is sort of this safe, B-list celebrity who does hosting and infomercials, b.) he feels the need to weigh in on this topic, and c.) he seems to be getting a hell of a lot more support from the proles than he is heat from the SJWs. He might be the kind of inoffensive pseudo-celebrity who can take the “conservative” position on this and actually win the public relations battle.

      • Raston Bot

        I think it’s the subject matter. Trans vs Fems!

    • AlexinCT

      The guild protects it’s racket…

      • Sensei

        In so many guilds…

    • Lord Humungus

      Pill counting is hard?

      • Hyperion

        Fuck, and here I thought those pharmacists went out into the Amazon jungle, harvested plant parts and then came back to grind up stuff with their mortar and pestle and do secret mixology vodoo late into the night so you can get your prescription fill reminders from Walgreen’s on time. Now I’ve lost my all respect for the pharmacists. Lousy pill counters!

      • Not Adahn

        I think the pharmacy techs do the counting, but I could be mistaken.

      • AlexinCT

        No they need to make sure you don’t eat up the suppositories.

  15. pistoffnick

    ,a href=”http://wendymcelroy.com/images/newspost_images/screen-shot-2019-07-21-at-11.04.59-am.png”> Parking reserved for green vehicles only

      • ChipsnSalsa

        file not found.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        well shit works now, that’s funny.

      • Florida Man

        Lol, he’s not wrong.

      • Sean

        *applause*

      • R C Dean

        My FJ Cruiser is green (colored). I will totally be looking for those signs now.

    • Lord Humungus

      You know who else had wacky new age beliefs…

      • cyto

        I have a wacky belief that her winning the nomination would be the greatest thing in the history of politics. Trump vs Williamson on the same stage would be ….well, it is hard to imagine just how fantastic that would be.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        It is the world we want but it is not the world we will get.

        So really, could Williamson be someone who could thwart Trump on a debate stage? Dems have been trying to beat trumps rock with scissors when really they need to use paper.

      • leon

        Obi-Wan Kenobi?

      • CPRM

        Otho?

      • Spartacus

        Steve Jobs?

    • Hyperion

      Yeah, pretty much like the guy on the interwebs a while back having keep posting that he wasn’t a pedo. Really? Then why do you have to keep telling us that?

    • Hyperion

      “If you have to say “I’m not a wacky, new-age nutcase”, you’re a wacky, new-age nutcase.”

      When I started reading that article about her talking about Trump, it didn’t take an entire paragraph to conclude ‘this one is totes wacked’.

  16. cyto

    Can I just interrupt to blow some smoke up everyone’s rear?

    I want to say thanks again for making an enjoyable and sometimes thought provoking community.

    I did a deeper dive than usual at TOS and it really brought home how much more intelligent and thoughtful the conversation is here. And yes, I am unironically posting these thoughts on an episode of Hat n Hair. For the denizens of TOS, that should really sting.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Can I just interrupt to blow some smoke up everyone’s rear?

      Who here, doesn’t enjoy a little smoke up the tush?

      • CPRM

        I just quit smoking and you’re trying to get me addicted again?!

      • Nephilium

        Congrats man. I know that it’s a bitch.

        /quit ~10 years ago.

      • CPRM

        Super easy, barely an inconvenience. Of course I switched to vaping, so all the health nuts are still in my face.

      • Rhywun

        Those “health nuts” are really just opposed to the optics. They don’t really care about your health, you know.

      • BakedPenguin

        I know you mentioned them, Rhywun, but those puppet anti-smoking commercials really piss me off. “It’s not safer…” Yeah, the cancer risk is about 5% of smoking. “A Juul pod has the same nicotine as 20 cigarettes” Yeah, and they last about as long as a pack would. Assholes make me want to keep vaping.

        CPRM – congrats.

      • Nephilium

        BP:

        Fuck, those commercials are so damned annoying they make me think about taking up smoking again.

      • BakedPenguin

        Neph – Agreed. I sometimes want to pick up a pack of Pall Mall reds after one of those. I wonder who the hell they think they’re speaking to.

      • MikeS

        But if you smoke it with your ass, it actually adds years to you life. It’s like, reverse ozsmoksis or something.

      • MikeS

        Seriously; congrats. I quit 8 years, 243.5 days ago…approximately. I still have an odd craving here and there. It gets easier, hang in there.

      • Lord Humungus

        butt-chugging-smoking

    • Q Continuum

      Fuck off Tulpa.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, that’s exactly what Tulpa would say.

    • Rebel Scum

      thought provoking community

      I am glad you appreciate dick jokes and T&A links.

      • Lackadaisical

        Hey, he never specified what kind of thoughts.

      • Hyperion

        The ones in the last article about dildos was really some intellectual level musings and really highlights our ability to always maintain a high level of etiquette along with our mastery of critical thought. Who comes up with solar power paneled dildos? And what about our Family Friendly credentials? Impeccable at all levels, we are.

      • cyto

        Yeah, as I implied… it is a low bar.

    • Bob Boberson

      I was just remarking on the comments over at TOS last night after I decided to peruse the ones on the Dalmia article. They’ve degenerated into:

      “Fuck you libtard!!!”

      “No fuck you Nazi”

      There is nothing left there. While I didn’t spend much time there it seems that some of the old school commenters who elected not to come over here have given up.

      • wdalasio

        To be fair, Dalmia articles tend to be the ones that most easily descend into stupidity in the comments. I think being that close to undiluted derp just causes sympathetic idiocy.

      • BakedPenguin

        “The idiocy…”
        “What is it, doctor?”
        “It’s… spreading.”

      • Ozymandias

        This ^^^^

    • leon

      :cries: Elija Cummings hates black people.

  17. l0b0t

    Has the Hat been kidnapped and replaced with a doppelganger?

    • Swiss Servator

      No. The Hat has been just letting it all out, the past few episodes. I think it started to really show after the Quest for Gerry Ford’s Gold.

  18. l0b0t

    Odd question for everyone. Do y’all like the tentacle parts of fried calamari or prefer to see nothing but rings presented on the plate?

    • Naptown Bill

      Oh, tentacles. Crispier, I find. I mean, I eat both, but the tentacles are my fave.

      • leon

        Also I keep reading Testicles…

      • Nephilium

        Watch more Better Off Dead.

    • leon

      Weirdest way to broach the subject of Hentai…

    • pistoffnick

      Sorry, I don’t like fried rubber bands.

      There are few things I won’t eat: calamari, ass*, raisins, not-properly ripened tomatoes (i.e. most commercial tomatoes)

      *though I have eaten donkey

      • Spartacus

        My list is shorter, but calamari is definitely on it. For the same reason.

      • Jarflax

        I’m in this club as well, No calamari, no sea urchin.

      • pistoffnick

        I forgot sea cucumber on my list of things I will never eat again

      • Spartacus

        Oh yeah, that is worse than calamari by an order of magnitude. Sea cucumber is like eating extra-juicy snot.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I didn’t know you could eat them. Huh, something new to try.

      • Ozymandias

        The Chinese disagree… (but I’m with you!). The moment it arrives is also the greatest test of one’s poker face that exists, as you try to pretend you’e not horrified by what has just shown up. Because, believe me, the Chinese aren’t even tying to hide what it is; you know *exactly* what you are about to eat.

      • pistoffnick

        It is apparently customary in Chinese culture to serve the guest of honor the fish head from the fish soup. They also expect to see you (the guest of honor) eat the fish eyeballs. I got one down. My mistake was biting into the eyeball. Should have just swallowed it whole.

        I had lot’s of great food during my time in China. Only a few things put me off – sea cucumber was one of them.

      • Animal

        No calamari here, nor octopus, clams, oysters or escargot, because mollusks are the only thing I’m allergic to, and that allergy is so virulent that I could actually die.

        I can’t even touch them.

      • wdalasio

        My sympathies. Those are really good.

      • l0b0t

        My list is organ meats, butternut squash, and acorn squash. Those are strictly Eat only when starvation is imminent.

      • Not Adahn

        WTF is wrong with you?

        Summer squashes, maybe I could see. And no braunschweiger?

      • SugarFree

        Or beef heart. Beef heart is amazing, like beef-fed beef in terms of beefiness.

      • l0b0t

        In a fit of skinflinterry, I once purchased an institutional pack of burger patties “100% Beef!”. I thought the 1st one tasted odd. Upon inspecting the ingredients, I found beef heart and beef lung to be the 2nd and 3rd ingredients after mechanically separated beef. I brought them to work and served free burgers at the bar that night.

      • wdalasio

        Heart is generally good. But, veal kidneys are one of the most amazing dishes I’ve ever eaten. With a dijon mustard sauce. Out of this world.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        braunschweiger

        Well, now I got an itch. Off to the grocery store.

      • Swiss Servator

        Ye wil try the loovely haggis, an like it!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s better than the lightly saute’d hog brains I was treated to in Serbia.

      • Lackadaisical

        You need to stop by my house for dinner. Acorn and butternut squashes can be delicious.

      • l0b0t

        There is just something about organ meats that I find quite off-putting; I know it’s purely psychological (except for brains, never eat brains, Kuru/TBSE is no joke) and I fully grok that they are quite delicious to many but I’m a proud Grade-A Moron when it comes to offal.

    • Rebel Scum

      The tentacles are like the crispiest fries of calamari.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This, the rings are lousy.

        It takes more mental energy to enjoy chuka iidako

    • Lord Humungus

      I dislike seafood. So I would throw them away no matter how they were cooked.

      • Rhywun

        ^ This is the correct answer.

    • l0b0t

      Thanks. Squid is one of my favorite foods; I think the love started when I watched Martin Yan on PBS making Fire & Ice Squid. So many local restaurants have been switching to all rings and it’s driving me crazy because, as y’all mentioned, those are the crispiest bits.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yan Can Cook! That must off have been off air for at least a couple decades. Shame.

      • l0b0t

        I grab his books and videos whenever I find them on my thrift store adventures. He has always been a culinary hero of mine.

    • The Other Kevin

      I like the rings, Mrs. TOK prefers the tentacle parts. Also, I prefer the drumette part of the chicken wing, and she likes the other part. It is not a totally perfect marriage, but it is in some ways.

      • CPRM
    • Animal

      Nice racks I can find anywhere. Derp not required.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Guests dine among ancient temples and are treated to performances by the likes of Sting, Elton John and Coldplay’s Chris Martin, before retiring to their suites at the Verdura Resort.

      I think you’ve got it all wrong. Google’s trying to kill them by boring them to death.

      • The Other Kevin

        The entertainment’s no good now that Epstein is in jail.

    • Rhywun

      What a bunch of fucking frauds. “Google Camp”. So glad I’ve de-Googled.

      • MikeS

        I want to so badly, but I refuse to get an i-phone. I just want my Windows phone back.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Yet, us proles get harped on when we run the air conditioning.

    • Gadfly

      “Climate change conference” is a nice fig leaf for rich people who feel guilty about flaunting their hedonism. I’m hoping someone will take this further and host a lavish conference on the topic of income inequality.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Well…

    Marianne Williamson was the most searched candidate during Tuesday night’s Democratic debates, according to Google Trends.

    Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) came in second, followed by Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg.

    Williamson, a celebrity spiritual adviser and long-shot presidential candidate, also saw one of the most significant search spikes during last month’s debates. Throughout Tuesday night, her speeches about topics including reparations, poverty and “dark psychic forces” drew rounds of applause from the audience.

    Google searches for the phrase “dark psychic force” also trended during the debates after Williamson used the term to illustrate her concerns about the Trump administration.

    “If you think any of this wonkiness is going to deal with this dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred that this president is bringing up in this country, then I’m afraid that the Democrats are going to see some very dark days,” Williamson warned to applause from the audience.

    Shortly after her remarks, there was a sharp spike in users Googling “dark psychic force,” peaking in popularity around 9:40 PM, according to Google Trends.

    I wouldn’t mind googling her dark psychic force.

    • kinnath

      Williamson may be the only dem that can hold the stage against The Don.

      They are both bullshit artists.

  20. MikeS

    File under: Me. Ow.

    Snopes Issues Pre-Approval Of All Statements Made During Tonight’s Democratic Debate

    Since their original founding in 1957 by the KGB, Snopes has gained a reputation for objectively reporting what someone’s secret motivations probably were, and what they probably really meant when they said something. More recently, they have perfected the art of determining whether a satirical article is hilarious, left-leaning comedy or divisive, conservative-leaning fake news.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Massive right landed by the Bee!

      They’re not playing around here people.

      • Chipwooder

        This is like watching Ivan Drago versus Apollo Creed – “Throw the damn towel!”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is shaping up to be my favorite media altercation of all time.

    • Spartacus

      We’re gonna need a lot more popcorn.

    • Q Continuum

      Somebody call the burn unit.

    • The Other Kevin

      Please Snopes, please fact check this article.

      • Swiss Servator

        They could have avoided the whole thing, but they let one writer have a snit about the Bee picking on the poor, media defenseless Left…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Snopes is going to end up like Falwell

      • MikeS

        Will I go to hell if I find that hilarious?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Did you think you weren’t already?

      • MikeS

        I was hoping it was 50-50, but I guess I am an optimist.

    • Bob Boberson

      At publishing, Snopes had also released a fact-check for all future statements by President Trump, rating them all as “False.”

      LOLOLOLOL

    • Hyperion

      Well, in all fairness, the part when all of them said ‘I will tax you to fucking death to give everyone everything for free’, I’m pretty sure that’s true.

    • Hyperion

      “Snopes also clarified that in the event a candidate does say anything that sounds untrue/conservative, they will automatically conclude that the individual had pure intentions and meant something completely different.”

    • tarran

      I want to ask Snopes if Trump really did lead aides on a wild chase through the White House?

      According to sources within the Trump White House, the President and Commander in Chief led a squad of White House aides on a wild chase through the West Wing early Monday morning, after the team of assistants attempted to confiscate Trump’s smartphone to prevent him from posting anything on social media.

      Sources claim a female aide attempted to distract the President while the others sneaked up behind him and made an attempt for the phone.

      But he was too quick.

      Lunging for his iPhone 7, rolling over the table, and vaulting over an Oval Office sofa before making his getaway through a side door, Trump kicked off the wildest presidential chase in White House history.

      The escapade saw aides and other White House staffers forming blockades in key passageways, crawling through ventilation ducts, and narrowly missing the President with several desperate tackle maneuvers, as Trump furiously fired off a barrage of tweets, memes, and GIFs from his official Twitter account.

      “Staff turning on me. Theyre going 2 have to get a real job after theyre fired. Sad!” Trump tweeted as he climbed a maintenance ladder with his array of aides and assistants hot on his tail.

      • ron73440

        Almost laughed fro real at that one

        .

        Sources claim a female aide attempted to distract the President while the others sneaked up behind him and made an attempt for the phone.
        But he was too quick.

      • ron73440

        Really? fro real?

        What the hell.

      • Lord Humungus

        ::raises fist in solidarity::

      • Brett L

        Wasn’t this a Hat & Hair?

      • R C Dean

        rolling over the table, and vaulting over an Oval Office sofa

        I LLOLed. Well done, Bee.

    • Mad Scientist

      I love that the Bee is taking the gloves off and refusing to back down.

  21. Hyperion

    Why is this day so damn long? I mean the part that comes before 4pm? I want a beer, it’s not fair.

    • MikeS

      *raises can of Bubly in solidarity*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Buble comes in a can now?

      • Hyperion

        If they can put wine in a box…

      • Florida Man

        Mango is the best.

      • MikeS

        Will try. So far I’ve had apple, peach, and orange and I like all three.

        As a former pop and current beer enthusiast, I like it because it kind of fools my senses into thinking I’m drinking something good (aka; bad for me)

      • Tulip

        I like lime, lemon, orange, but hate strawberry. I love all the La Croix flavors but it’s a lot more expensive – like $2 a six pack more and my Midwestern heart just can’t.

      • Hyperion

        Reminds of the Whiteclaw they sell around here, only without the alcohol.

    • Lord Humungus

      I’m having the same thoughts – the day is just dragggggging. Waiting for an email so I can start testing with a new customer. Also it’s date night with EF which means beer ‘n’ burgers at the local dive.

      • Hyperion

        “the day is just dragggggging”

        I know, it’s crazy, we must be in some sort of time dilation.

      • BEAM's not a team player

        I like your date night.

        After five days of industrial dehumidifiers and fans roaring at all hours, the spousal unit and I need a break from this crap. So does the pup. I wonder if I can find anyplace with beer ‘n burgers that has a patio that’ll take dogs?

      • R C Dean

        You bet. Go to the Sentinel Peak brewpub on Grant in Tucson.

        Or, if you want pizza with your beer, go to Bear Canyon on Tanque Verde.

    • Nephilium

      I just want to head home. I usually come into the office on Mondays and Wednesdays. And I got volunteered for a 17:00 Eastern training call tomorrow afternoon. Save me from call centers run by people who refuse to learn how the phone system assigns calls.

  22. Pope Jimbo

    Turns out that Omar’s mystery man was just her bagman.

    This is an interesting choice for Omar. If she says this guy’s sources are right and this is just her fund raising guy, then she has to admit that those same sources might be right about her marrying her brother. If she says this guy is full of it, then she still needs to explain who the guy is. Oh, who am I kidding? She won’t say shit and no one in the MSM will dare try to Gary Hart her.

    When my friendly sources texted me about the video this afternoon, I asked if I could comment that all this doesn’t seem to square with Omar’s “faith tradition” or if that would be offensive to them. They responded: “Now we can’t stop laughing.”

    I take that as approval. They think Omar is a liar and a phony.

    It is sort of sad that Omar seems to have money (instead of sex) at the root of all her scandals.

    • The Hyperbole

      then she still needs to explain who the guy is.

      Why?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Because she is a Allah-fearing upstanding muslim woman who isn’t supposed to be out and about with strange men? Especially when they are reporting that she has split with her husband?

      • The Hyperbole

        Still seems like a big load my none of my business.

      • leon

        You know who was getting a big load?

      • Q Continuum

        Stormy Daniels?

      • BakedPenguin

        Tennessee Ernie Ford?

      • MikeS

        Metallica fans?

      • ChipsnSalsa

        I’ll take the low hanging fruit…

        Winston’s Mom?

      • Not Adahn

        The same reason Trump has to release his tax returns.

      • hayeksplosives

        Only if he wants to be on the CA gop primary ballot.

      • leon

        I doubt the Hyperbole thinks Trump needs to release his tax returns.

      • Gadfly

        Why?

        Because a lot of the reason people vote for someone is due to their personality, and if you don’t write your own narrative someone else will write a less flattering one for you.

  23. Lord Humungus

    Argh – the users! – had two of ’em respond to phishing emails and bought gift cards “for customers” and “please email me a picture of the numbers/pin”.

    • Nephilium

      The only secure system is one with no users.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m sorry you work with idiots.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Pics* or it didn’t happen.

      *of gift card & pin*

  24. ron73440

    Reagan was a racist!

    And just for fun at the end:

    President Donald Trump has been accused of repeatedly making racist remarks and was rebuked recently by the Democratic-controlled House of Representatives over “racist comments” he made about four minority Democratic lawmakers.

    • leon

      Did he talk about getting them [expletive] to vote for him for years?

    • Rhywun

      Jesus Christ, they can’t help themselves.

    • Hyperion

      “rebuked recently by the Democratic-controlled House of Representatives”

      Oh, the horror.

  25. Animal

    OT: I might need this, although I’m pretty sure it’s not an authentic Black Diamond trap gun. Still nice though.

    • ron73440

      That’s purty.

  26. hayeksplosives

    Man, it’s depressing to read up thread about the way #metoo and its more nebulous predecessors has led so many of you to adopt this stance that Humungous mentioned:

    But I must admit I do get a tad nervous when I’m alone in the office with the only woman in our department. Or if I say something stupid – that could be taken as sexist – in a meeting.

    That is disheartening to me as a woman who’s an engineering manager. By default nearly all of my subordinates are men. Does this sort of thinking weigh on their minds?

    In the end it’s going to be this feminist wolf-crying that will be the main career block for women in STEM, because the overwhelming majority of their colleagues won’t want to risk working with them.

    Hell, I’ve spent many a long day with some of my colleagues on a 1:1 basis and it never occurred to me that they might be in fear of misinterpretation or wrongful accusations.

    Sheesh.

    • MikeS

      Does this sort of thinking weigh on their minds?

      I assume it does. I know it does on mine. At least until I get to know her well enough to determine how much I can “get away with”.

      • leon

        This^^* except I feel that way with everyone I work with.

      • MikeS

        And I will add that this is a new development. Like the last 5-ish years.

    • leon

      You’re doing it wrong. You’re supposed to be upset that they would be sexist and have thoughts that might cause them to be different around you.

    • Hyperion

      “But I must admit I do get a tad nervous when I’m alone in the office with the only woman in our department. Or if I say something stupid – that could be taken as sexist – in a meeting.”

      Put it this way, and I have told this to young men in the recent past. If I were a young man today and a single man, or really any man who is single today. I would only date milfs or gilfs or whatever, I mean women from my own generation, because they’re mostly sane. But young college men, I tell them stay the hell away from the young women that to to college with you, they are being intentionally trained to hate men and even try to ruin their lives. And even though I know most of my female co-workers are sane, they are all close to my age, but there are some wack jobs with that radical feminist thing going on and they broadcast it. I stay as far away from them as possible. It really sucks, but it’s reality today.

    • Hyperion

      Seriously though, come on Hayek, you really are a feminazi plant trying to take down all of male unit glibs in one fell #metoo swoop, aren’t you? You have to be, no other females would ever even come here and hang out with us. For realz. Except the partners of glibs and they are being forced to do so from the dungeons they’re chained up in.

      • hayeksplosives

        Drats! You’re onto me.

        I’m not even a human female, just a robot with a nice rack.

        Foiled again!!

      • Hyperion

        I knew it!

    • Mad Scientist

      I can confirm that I’m much more guarded around women in the workplace. I’ll joke around with the guys, but I won’t with the women I work with. Anything that they could perceive as flirting is just not worth the potential trouble.

      • Hyperion

        Iv’e had a few female co-workers do it with me in the recent past. Well, maybe not even flirting, but there was sexual innuendo. I just don’t respond to it at all, change the subject, whatever, as you said, not worth the potential risk.

      • leon

        How homophobic of you.

    • tarran

      Just to kind of expand on this. I am a socially awkward man. I miss a lot of social cues. When I was a teenager, there were a few occasions where I was badly burned by missing social cues. The way I managed the situation was to retreat to a place of safety, eg avoid situations or actions where social adroitness was called for.

      Fast forward to today. If teenage tarran were in school in today, he would definitely have a “don’t be alone with women” rule running. And in fields dominated by women, tarran’s entry into those fields would be blighted. And in fields dominated by men, tarran’s rules for avoiding problems would be one brick in a wall of male reticence blighting the entry of women into those fields.

      Older tarran makes sure he minimizes instances where he is alone with a closed door with any member of the opposite sex. Fortunately we make heavy use of Skype meetings at my work, and I plan on taking full advantage of that should I ever get any direct reports. It’s not that I’m worried about the people in my department. I am worried about the very proggy HR deparment here and the toxic environment proggie HR reps have created in other companies. I just don’t want any trouble.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        I am a socially awkward man.

        Says the preacher to the choir.

      • Hyperion

        Well, it’s easy to see how widespread this attitude has become and with good reason. We now have an entire generation of females who are risking making themselves social lepers with the opposite sex and sadly, a lot of them actually deserve it. I have had a lot of female friends over the years, totally plutonic, and now I have only a few and they are friends with my wife as well and if I socialize with them, she is right there or I don’t, period.

    • Q Continuum

      “Does this sort of thinking weigh on their minds?”

      Gay-ron-teed.

      We all know you’re not going to go after someone for no reason, but they don’t. And even if they are pretty sure you won’t, it’s not worth risking a career over. All it takes is one female co-worker with an axe to grind making a false accusation and it’s game over. And it’s not like they’re just losing that job, they’re now officially poison; word will get through the grapevine and no one will hire him. It’s like being a convicted felon.

      • hayeksplosives

        More like being an accused felon: even if exonerated legally, the damage is done.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      it never occurred to me that they might be in fear of misinterpretation or wrongful accusations.

      To be fair, I’m in fear because it already happened to me on a small scale.

      • tarran

        Sure…. blame the victim you, you.. manspreader!!!!

    • SugarFree

      I have the flip side, I work with all women. I can’t avoid being with them one-on-one.

      I’ve only had a major problem with one co-worker (and it mostly wasn’t about me, but the extension of a fight she was having at home,) and it was my female boss that told her she was being a whiny nelly and squashed the whole thing. And I never spoke again to that complaining co-worker as long as she worked here unless I had too. Superficial professional interaction only; never so far as for it to be taken as shunning or bullying. I just let my disappointment and contempt roll off of me in silent waves, like the stink lines on a cartoon skunk.

      I can’t imagine how hard it must be for guys who can’t read social cues and visible discomfort well.

      • Hyperion

        “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for guys who can’t read social cues and visible discomfort well.”

        But that isn’t the issue. The issue is that there may be no social clues or any visible discomfort and they will just make up some shit later for like someone said, whatever axe to grind. It’s a lefty approved and officially sanctioned method.

    • kinnath

      In the 90s, I travelled internationally with a woman. We were pretty much alone together for a week. Business meeting during the day. Dinners at night were mostly just the two of us followed by sight-seeing.

      This is unimaginable in today’s climate.

    • BakedPenguin

      Just to pile on, I’ll add another yes. I’ve been clueless enough to miss signals and once mistook interest for mere friendship. Once it became clear that I didn’t return the woman’s interest, she got very angry at me. Fortunately for me, she wasn’t vindictive, but had she been, I could have been in real trouble.

      After that, I learned to talk about 2 things: 1) work issues 2) meaningless small talk, and then, only in places where multiple people are around.

      • SugarFree

        To be fair, your penis is hanging out of your pants some 13% of the average workweek.

      • Mad Scientist

        Can confirm. I work from home. 13% might be low.

      • BakedPenguin

        Yeah, well that’s not my fault. I just like the way it feels rubbing against the zipper teeth.

      • SugarFree

        Oh, it’s no one’s fault. That’s just how they do.

      • Hyperion

        “Where’s that dick soap link from this morning?”

        Wait… what? Now there’s dick soap? I really hope my wife doesn’t find out about this. I already am supposed to use this ‘special’ beard shampoo and conditioner she bought me, even though I’m like ‘but I shampoo the facial hair every day when I take my shower’… So in addition to shaving my dick because she likes it and using a different shampoo for my facial hair, now there’s dick soap? NO!!!!! Say it isn’t true! Or wait… did you mean soap shaped like a dick? LOL.

      • Hyperion

        “Or it could be worse…”

        That’s going to be the next SF article, isn’t it? So he’s going to just write horror from this point on?

    • wdalasio

      it never occurred to me that they might be in fear of misinterpretation or wrongful accusations.

      I don’t think it’s the misinterpretation anyone’s afraid of. It’s the wrongful accusations. Misinterpretation? Honest people of goodwill can sort that out. I don’t think most guys are afraid of it. What they’re afraid of is the latter part. It’s the person who they know will willfully misinterpret what they’re saying. Either for professional weaponry or just because they have an addiction to drama.

      I very much doubt that it’s you. As everyone else pointed out, its that people aren’t mindreaders and have no way of knowing which female colleagues will prove to be great teammates and associates and which ones will prove a career landmine. And the truth of the matter is that the alternative to incurring the risk is just much “cheaper” than the risk.

    • R C Dean

      Put me down in the “very cautious” list. I work with a lot of women (our workforce is 2/3 women). Fortunately, hospitals are busy places, and there very few interactions not in public or not in a group of some kind. The only women I will have closed door one-to-ones with are my boss and my Associate GC, but there’s really not much opportunity to have them with others.

      I never, ever, touch a woman in the workplace except to shake hands. I absolutely self-edit.

    • Fourscore

      Back in the old days I occasionally traveled with single women but I think because I was much older, more like a father figure, there was never any problems. Thirty years ago a young woman came to me to complain about the store manager’s slightly off color comments. I had an immediate meeting with both at the same time and advised the manager to stop doing what he was doing because it was making the employee uncomfortable. He did, problem was resolved on the spot. A few days later the young lady thanked me.

      Some things need disinfecting in the sunshine, never let a problem linger, its like condoning the behavior.

  27. leon

    For fellow developers do y’all do retrospectives at work, and if so do you feel like they are useful?

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      They worked well enough that I’ve recommended them for my legal department. I think the key was the managers sitting down with some of the whiners and explaining to them that it wasn’t a vent session, but a chance to alter the process so the next cycle went more smoothly. After a few months, it was a great mix of process improvement and knowledge sharing.

    • Mad Scientist

      We used to do them at the end of every sprint. They’re mostly helpful for whoever’s running the sprint. I don’t think the devs get much out of it. We quit bothering at least a year ago.

    • Rasilio

      Depends.

      I have worked in companies where they were very valuable.

      Thing about those companies, we didn’t have a Scrum master and the only people present in the retrospectives were the actual tech team and we got along well as a team. The conversation in them was all matter of fact and based on exposing and fixing a problem. There was no blaming, no one was singled out for screwing up, and if things needed to be fixed they were.

      Where I am now, they are a complete waste of time, we have a Scrum master who “runs” them and any time anything remotely resembling a real issue gets brought up she makes it personal or attacks the person who dared even mention the issue.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Depends on the team. I’ve worked with teams that have a lot of shy introverts and then they are OK because it makes them bring things up. On the other hand, my current team is full of opinionated, experienced devs so we tend to fix issues right away as they come up.

      • Hyperion

        “Depends on the team. I’ve worked with teams that have a lot of shy introverts”

        So have I. Sometimes I wish I could work with them a lot more and they’d stay in the dev cave and not even talk. Now I work with a few OK guys, none of them are introverts, in fact, I’m probably the most introvert on any of the teams I work with. I just do not like small talk and don’t like people acting like they are so fucking happy to be at work and around their co-workers. This is why I love my work from home time. Some of the people, including devs I work with, are loudmouth assholes whose opinions of themselves far outweighs their talents. Am I an unsociable? Yes, most of the time, if you don’t have anything interesting to day, keep to the tasks at hand and keep you distance from me. And no, you are not interesting and you ugly kids and dogs are not interesting either. I just want to go home, be with my wife who is interesting. Yeah, I’m really like that, jaded is that what they call it?

    • Hyperion

      No, and I haven’t heard of anyone doing that at any of my clients.

  28. westernsloper

    She’s all astrology charts and moonbeams

    NOT ADAHN IS MARIANNE! NOT ADAHN FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!11!

  29. cyto

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