IFLA: The “What Day is it Again?” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of January 5

by | Jan 5, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 108 comments

Ok, so I may have forgotten to cast a horoscope this week, what with the midweek drinking and partying and the boss being out of town and all.

But, the great thing about Astrology is even if you don’t remember until the last minute, the stars are still up there!  This week’s reading are a bit troublesome in light of current Glib events, and yet here they are.

Good news – we have Jupiter aligned with Mercury, the Sun and the Moon.  Literally, the first two translate as “good” and “news” while the sun and moon alignment indicates completion or perfection.

Bad news – Saturn aligns with the Earth and the Sun.  Saturn is the the symbolic opposite to Jupiter (what with the cannibalism and the castration and all that) and in the guise of Chronos or the Grim Reaper signifies endings.  The earth being part of this draws Saturn’s attention homeward.

Mars in Sagittarius counsels precision in conflict.  Pick your battles, take some time to decide on tactics.  This is backed up by the moon being in Taurus, which warns about being foolishly bullheaded.  While this might be an issue some of the time, this week you should see an increase in mental acuity with Capricorn gathering Jupiter, Mercury, the Sun and Saturn into its fold.  Rounding out the sky is Venus in Aquarius, indicating a peaceful and bountiful love life.

Capricorn:  Four of Swords reversed –  Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.

Aquarius:  5 of Cups – loss, but something remains, inheritance, patrimony, transmission but not corresponding to expectations.

Pisces:  King of Swords – Judgment and all its connections, power, command, authority, militant intelligence, law, offices etc.

Aries:  3 of Cups – The conclusion of any matter in plenty, perfection and merriment, happy issue, victory, fulfillment, solace, healing

Taurus:  King of Coins – Valor, realizing intelligence, business and intellectual aptitude, success

Gemini:  The Hanged Man reversed – Selfishness, crowds, body politic, limited options

Cancer:  10 of Coins reversed – Chance, fatality, loss, robbery, games of hazard, gift, dowry, pension

Leo:  The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity

Virgo:  9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

Libra:  Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

Scorpio:  King of Wands reversed – good but severe, austere yet tolerant.

Sagittarius:  The Chariot reversed – Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat, car trouble.

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

108 Comments

  1. MikeS

    Pisces: King of Swords – Judgment and all its connections, power, command, authority, militant intelligence, law, offices etc.

    Now we’re talkin’!

    • MikeS

      It’s only fitting that I’d get the 1st with a card like that.

  2. AlmightyJB

    Virgo: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

    Not much different than any other week

  3. Yusef in Space......

    Virgo: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity
    So, Business as usual…..

  4. JD is Unemployed

    rectitude

    Uh oh. That can’t be good. Or it innately is, by its very nature, or something.

  5. Old Man With Candy

    Riot, quarrel, dispute

    Did my best for Morning Links. Achievement unlocked: I finally managed to offend Glibertarians.

    • Mojeaux

      Soooooo you met your New Year’s Resolution in record time?

    • westernsloper

      Pffft, you will have to do better than that Old Man.

    • commodious spittoon

      She seems a little old for you.

      • R C Dean

        Chronologically, yes. She looks way younger, though.

    • Fourscore

      1st Amendment but… Good job, OM

    • Spudalicious

      Nice work. I’m assuming not SP approved?

      • Old Man With Candy

        She wants to know why pubescent is OK for Greta but not for her.

    • cyto

      It was awesome offensiveness, particularly coupled with that 12-year-old-girl looking photo. Parker and Stone would be proud.

      But we are from a different time, when funny, edgy and offensive were all close bedfellows. Now the only proper way to evoke a laugh is by pointing out that the straight white male dominated patriarchy is responsible for the evil that is Trump and the Republicans.

      • Rhywun

        Samantha Bee is the future of comedy, it is true.

      • cyto

        Which brings up “The Aristocrats”, an inside baseball joke passed around among working comedians. The only point is to be as absolutely disgusting and offensive as possible.

        We used to play a similar game with drinking songs. You’d take turns making up new verses to traditional favorites like “Aye, aye, aye-aye…. your mother swims out to meet troop ships..”

        It was a game that I did not lose, being willing to “go there” at the drop of a hat. With “there” being far too disgusting for the print edition.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I watched that with Spud right after it came out on DVD. During Carlin’s version, we were gasping for air and nearly fouled the couch from laughing so hard.

      • cyto

        It was touted as being uber-offensive, which it is. But my first observation was “they sound exactly like any normal bunch of 19 year old dudes hanging out on a saturday night.”

        Which just goes to prove Adam Carolla right in his treatise “In 50 years we’ll all be chicks”…. which he has called prescient, but wrong in the timing. Because it wasn’t 50 years, it was about 2 years. Time was if one of your buddies had a little ketchup on his chin you could say “Dude, your girfriend on her period, or what?” and get a laugh, not a referral to the PC police.

      • Fourscore

        We used to make up book titles at work.

        “Breast Cancer and How to Lick It”

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        In high school, we harassed our catholic friends by describing in intimate detail the orgies happening in the Vatican, complete with hand motions. It often involved long dead popes, altarboys, entire nunneries, the cardinal college, etc. Looking back, I kinda feel bad… we took it pretty far.

      • Ted S.

        Hawt.

      • MikeS

        Just because someone had an issue with that particular post doesn’t mean they aren’t from this magical different time you, spud and OMWC come from.

        For me personally, nothing about it offended me. My concern was, “This is why I can’t tell anyone about this site. How do I explain this away if this is the first post they come across?” I feel like it’s “OK” if it’s down in the comments, but it being front and center in the Morning Links crossed a line. I can’t define that line with logic, only feelz, so…whatever.

      • The Hyperbole

        I wasn’t really offended either, but now I’m offended that they think I was offended.

      • Mojeaux

        My concern was, “This is why I can’t tell anyone about this site. How do I explain this away if this is the first post they come across?”

        That, and cheesecake in the main post.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know anyone I’d steer this way. A lot of topics are tacitly off-limits in meatspace conversation here. It may be why I vent more extremely here.

      • UnCivilServant

        *first ‘here’ -where I am physically located.

        *second ‘here’ – this site.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Capricorn: something something avarice something something

    Ahhhh, situation normal

    • Hyperion

      Yah. This horriscope stuff is like global warming and the weather. You’re bound to look right at least once a month no matter your predictions.

  7. commodious spittoon

    Libra: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

    It’s back to work week, after all.

  8. Mojeaux

    Taurus: King of Coins – Valor, realizing intelligence, business and intellectual aptitude, success

    Woo hoo!

    Maybe I should get off my ass and go help the universe make that happen.

  9. Rebel Scum

    loss, but something remains, inheritance, patrimony, transmission but not corresponding to expectations.

    Things are looking up!

  10. Rhywun

    Aries:  3 of Cups – The conclusion of any matter in plenty, perfection and merriment, happy issue, victory, fulfillment, solace, healing

    Ugh not ag— wait, what??

    • Rhywun

      And my cable box just turned off and started rebooting itself.

      #winning

      • Rhywun

        While I was recording a movie.

    • dbleagle

      I know. This must be an imposter- even AN IRANIAN HACKER! Aries not being shat upon by the tarot is a sure sign on a counterfeit.

      Shoot the imposter with pig fat dipped bullets!*

      *Note to the Family Friendly and NSA people: No pigs were harmed or intended to be harmed by this statement.

      • Mojeaux

        Wait, what?

        Do you mean thin blue long pig or those pink things that waddle around with their bellies dragging–

        Oh wait.

        nm

      • Rhywun

        there are bigger issues out there – say Australia burning ? to put things into perspective

        Oh STFU. I hate that person who does that.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fun fact, the eucalyptus tree has evolved specifically to burn more agresively and even explode to spread the flames because they recover faster post-wildfire.

        Seems to indicate tha australia has always been burning.

      • commodious spittoon

        No, shitlord, it’s new and it’s caused by climate change, because shut up.

      • commodious spittoon

        Look at how much she cares. She tweeted about it. With her fingers.

    • Ted S.

      Six girls, 3 of Cups?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Yes. Followed by fulfillment and victory.

  11. DEG

    Leo: The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity

    So… shitty? As in.. normal?

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The Chariot reversed – Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat, car trouble.

    Do I get to pick?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    I finally managed to offend Glibertarians.

    “Ahh, you’re crazy. There ain’t no Sanity Claus.”

    • cyto

      Which brings up the question….. how the hell does their government work? The parliament asks the government to end the agreement? What the heck does that even mean? Is the parliament even in charge of anything?

      • Hyperion

        How it works is it doesn’t work. Their problem, let them get back to their perpetual tribal warfare. They are in no way ready for any sort of functional government. Libertarian paradise restored?

    • Hyperion

      I agree with those guys, get us the fuck out of there already.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        This was a Trump plan to get out of Iraq all along.

        Chess anyone?

  14. AlmightyJB

    So the Vikes start off with a turnover. Perfect.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Yes, that’s my point exactly. They were afraid of the guy who might actually have the balls to do something that hurt.

    MIGHT.

    Trump’s already demonstrated he MIGHT.

    He’s also demonstrated mercy by calling off a strike he thought would have too much collateral damage. Basically this says we can do what we want when we want and we are willing to follow through, so tread lightly.

    • Mojeaux

      No step on snek.

  16. UnCivilServant

    I have to say, it’s really creepy to spot your own doppelganger. I was stopped at a red light and looked up into ther rearview mirror. For a moment I thought it was misaligned until I saw his wipers move. The guy in the car behind me was a dead ringer for me, same face structure, same choise of facial hair and eyeglass style, same mannerims. It was off-putting. And it didn’t go away with more observation, it just continued to seem like my double was driving the car behind me. It was the same body style of car, but a Honda, so he must have been the evil copy. (can’t tell by facial hair since it was both a gotee)

    • Spudalicious

      What kind of driving gloves was he wearing?

      • UnCivilServant

        He had a wedding ring, so I presume his wife took them away.

    • Rebel Scum

      same body style of car, but a Honda, so he must have been the evil copy

      I drive a Honda.

      • UnCivilServant

        You also admit to being scum.

      • LJW

        I drive a Honda too. What vehicle makes you not scum?

      • UnCivilServant

        The fact that rebel scum is scum is not a result of driving a honda, but of self-identification.

        And, You guys are reading too much into a joke.

      • Mojeaux

        I had a Honda CRX. I adored that little car.

  17. Rhywun

    Repeal the AUMF

    If Pelosi is not willing to have a political fight when it really matters, then of what use is she?

    Damn straight.

    • cyto

      She’s got pockets. That’s useful. She’s using them to carry around those super-urgent articles of impeachment as we speak.

      • commodious spittoon

        Trump should Watergate Pelosi’s office to bring the articles to the Senate.

      • Rebel Scum

        Can the Senate not take this up whenever they want to? Everyone knows the text of the articles. It’s on the House website with every other piece of legislation isn’t it? As far as I can see it has passed the House, so it is now automatically in the purview of the Senate.

      • commodious spittoon

        Why would they do that when there’s so many judiciary vacancies to fill? They’re on NPT* now.

        *Nancy Pelosi Time

      • cyto

        I think there is a move being considered to file a bill as a “motion to dismiss” in the next few days, based on some technical legal grounds. Dunno if it is true, but that sounds like a mistake. They are flailing and failing miserably. Don’t toss ’em a lifeline.

      • commodious spittoon

        Nancy will figure out the middle bit of her Underpants Gnomes plan any day now.

    • Urthona

      Or have the judicial system recognize its illegality.

      Congress cannot bequeath it’s war powers to another.

  18. cyto

    Oh, did you guys note that Code Pink is back?

    Couldn’t be bothered when Obama was toppling governments and getting us in to… what is it, 9 more countries? But Trump takes out 2 terrorist leaders and magically they re-appear.

    It is almost as if there is something to their agenda other than being anti-war.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      The question in my mind is whether they’ve been around the whole time and blackholed by the DNC apparachick media or if they legitimately hung it up for 8 years. I vaguely recall them making some minor stink a few years ago during Obama’s reign.

      • Urthona

        I remember were was a surprisingly fair-minded interview about this on NPR during the Obama administration.

        It’s a little of both.

        They were interviewing one of these anti-war group leaders and basically what they said is membership and interest is about 1/2 of what it would be during a Republican administration.

        But technically the true anti-war people do keep going. And it definitely doesn’t get covered as much,.

      • Raven Nation

        Like Cindy what’s her name. She kept protesting after 2009 but wasn’t covered. I remember one journalist suggesting she should ‘just go away.’

      • Akira

        Cindy Sheehan.

        Yea, they exploited her grief over her son’s death in the war, then promptly kicked her to the curb when she criticized Obama as well.

    • Rebel Scum

      getting us in to… what is it, 9 more countries?

      The gf’s dyed in the wool, leftist Democrat aunt was unaware of or just ignored Barry’s wars. Partisanship/TDS is a hell of a drug.

      • Raven Nation

        One of my friends was completely unaware of Obama’s drone wars.

      • Akira

        I’ve met those people too. But they’re not the ones who scare me the most.

        The ones who really scare me are the ones who know about all the bad stuff he did (drone wars, 4A abuses, the kill list, etc.) and still don’t care. They still think he’s a perfect president and a perfect human being. They rationalize it by saying “Well Republicans would have done even worse things than that” and “He does other good things though, like fighting climate change and making sure nobody dies because they can’t afford healthcare“.

      • Hyperion

        Every lefty I’ve talked to was unaware of that stuff for Obama’s entire 8 years. But it was intentionally unaware, I’m sure, in most cases.

      • Hyperion

        No worries, the left will be back in full on Neocon mode in a couple of days, just like they were they day before that drone strike.

      • westernsloper

        I was de-friended on FB by long time friends for pointing that out. Last week I finally deleted my FB account after three years of not signing in and procrastination. Makes me wonder if my pics are still there or if one can believe what they say and all content will be permanently deleted.

      • Rhywun

        I wonder about that too.

  19. Mojeaux

    I am thoroughly and completely pissed at my male tax deduction and his stupid underbid leaf-clearing job. Not only did he underbid himself, he is now costing ME money. And yet I can’t let him flake on the job for his reputation.

    • Mojeaux

      And Mr. Mojeaux is thoroughly and completely unsympathetic to my indulgence of HIS child. ???

    • UnCivilServant

      How did this turn around to cost you money?

      • Mojeaux

        Time and gas.

      • UnCivilServant

        Bill him as an added business expense.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve been debating it with myself, trust me. I just … he is working very hard for his 30¢/hour.

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      ¡ adviso! I’ve probably caught just enough of this conversation to be annoyingly unhelpful

      advanced horse-trading advice: “too good a deal is no deal”

      and it works both ways. If your son can be replaced for $0.32/hour, then he’s a jerk for not keeping his word. But if he can’t be replaced for less than twice the price, it was obviously a ridiculous bid that no reasonable person should have accepted.

      Horse-trading rules (should I write all these up, or have I pretty much splattered them all over this site already?) are great stuff, solid advice.

      Personal saga: When I 14ish, Da Escaped told his new boss I’d mow his yard for X. I was a good sport about it until it worked out to about half of minimum wage. I did it once and then advised Da he’d hafta suck his boss off himself for now on: I wouldn’t be going down again.

      • Mojeaux

        He thought he overbid because he didn’t want to do the job. I was proud. I didn’t actually ask him WHAT he bid. I found out last night after a second evening of my very patient cooperation with providing the truck. And THEN I got hot about it because he has been doing this long enough to know what the work entails. He was just half-assing his quote.

        I’m going to give him a bill for the whole $30.

        This not including the fact that his dad told him specifically to never again do a job that required taking material off the property and disposing of it.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Your dad Irish?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        (Don, that is — not Mojeaux.)

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        His beard and mine are red, but that’s pretty common for hillbillies; our name was Scottishish: usually seen with the Mc. Da and other Celtic expressions are in the air: goes with the whimsey I try to keep up. I’ll happily quote moonshine and in-family murder stories if you need.

  20. Hyperion

    Apocalypse Now!

    Krugnuts in off his meds again.

  21. westernsloper

    Football food today is mini corn dogs and coconut shrimp from my grocers frozen section and leftover etouffee as a dipping medium. I am too tired and sore to actually cook.

    • Akira

      I’m making these stewed black beans, except I’m using pinto beans instead… And I used Tabasco sauce instead of vinegar… And I’m having a smoked pork shoulder on the side. Should be pretty good.

    • Don Escaped Bloomington

      leftover etouffee as a dipping medium

      approved

      NewWife is making crab stew.

      binging Shitt’s Creek and working off a slight head cold

  22. Raven Nation

    OT: about Friedman’s comment on Australian bush fires affecting New Zealand…that part of his essay is accurate:

    http://nzh.tw/12298155

  23. Mojeaux

    I was not offended by the morning lynx. It was oogey, ??? but I wasn’t offended. I would like to direct more of my helicopter Twitter friends here, however.

    And I am still chuckling about Q’s picture set of tatas in his last post.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I have not had good reactions from people I’ve directed toward Hat and Hair. “He’s the Robert Mapplethorpe of political satire. Imagine a cross between H.P. Lovecraft and Charles Bukowski.” It’s apparently an inadequate warning.

      So I figure, fuck it, I’ll go full Aristocrats, and steal shamelessly from the old HnR days.