Monday Morning Links

by | Jan 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 455 comments

What a big comeback!

The NFL playoff games were nothing if not entertaining.  The Texans were dead and buried, only they weren’t.  The Titans drove a wooden stake into the heart of the Patriots. The Vikings earned an incredible win in New Orleans (and added another reason why the NFL needs to revamp their overtime and replay rules). And the Eagles were a game opponent but the Seahawks were just too much. Of course, it helps when they don’t call targeting on a play that knocks out your QB by a dude known for dirty hits. But whatever. The games were entertaining and mostly well-officiated. The divisional round ought to be a blast.

Nice goal, kid!

Across the pond, Liverpool just keep sticking the knife between Everton’s ribs and twisting it. They continued the misery of their crosstown rival at Anfield with a squad full of teenagers against Everton’s starters.  Perhaps Bill Shankley was is right: the two best teams on Merseyside are Liverpool and Liverpool’s reserves. At least they were yesterday. Most of the big dogs made it to the FA Cup’s fourth round, although Spuds will have to do a replay and Crystal Palace went down. But neither of them are big dogs, are they? Back to the league fixtures this coming weekend.

English explorer John Smith was born on this day. As were trader and explorer Jedediah Smith, comedian Danny Thomas, actress Loretta Young, baseball HOFer Early Winn, country legend Earl Scruggs, tennis great Darlene Hard, rocker Syd Barrett, funny person Rowan Atkinson, golfer Nancy Lopez, celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, football’s Howie Long, and nasty boy Norm Charlton.

And now I bring you…the links!

Sorry, dude. You were never really funny.

Hollywood actor goes up his own asshole. I assume this surprises nobody. I mean…it’s Hollywood. And speaking of Hollywood, at least one person on the inside gets it. God, I love that guy sometimes.

Hero or villain? And no, it’s not about Trump or the terrorist he had killed. Or anybody from politics, for that matter.

This guy screwed up. He should have taken Brick Top’s advice and then there’d be no evidence.

Ooh! Ooh! I thought that hand signal was bad.

Wait a minute, I thought this was called “meddling”. At least that’s what New York leftists call it when Trump tweets about a court’s moves. I guess it’s not when the leftist actually intervenes in a process.

Hell hath no fury like a woman man scorned. Christ, what an asshole. Also, what an idiot for not monitoring that on a daily basis and knowing the account password.

Will you marry me? Nevermind. Christ, what a bigger asshole.

Here’s a great song to start your week. Hope you enjoy it.

And I hope you enjoy your first Monday of the year. Make it a great day, friends.

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

455 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    And speaking of Hollywood, at least one person on the inside gets it. God, I love that guy sometimes. – is Ricky really Hollywood though?

    • UnCivilServant

      *shrugs*

      I don’t know much about that place.

    • robc

      No, London is not part of Hollywood.

    • sloopyinca

      I guess so. He makes movies there and keeps getting invited to town to roast them on awards shows.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gervais concluded his scathing monologue by warning the celebrities not to make any political or “woke” statements when accepting their awards.

      “You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything,” he declared. “You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”

      It’s funny because it’s true.

      • leon

        Kill him!!!!!

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I’m sure De Niro wanted to punch him for that joke.

      • AlexinCT

        DeNiro is a cunte.

    • AlexinCT

      My girlfriend was watching that nonsense show while and called me up to tell me I should watch it with her. I avoid these freakshows with these idiots coming together to pat each other’s backs like the plague, but I acquiesced this time. She told me Ricky had done a monologue she thought was not that funny, which immediately piqued my interests. Saw it on the internet and it rocked. When she brought it up again, I pointed out it was hilarious because he went after these douchebags and hit them where it hurt the most: their fucking egos and stupidity. Of course, she didn’t like that because she felt it was controversial. I told her I bet it would prevent the lot of these overpaid and overvalued idiots from preaching to us about their nanny state support of shit that would be ruinous for modern societies, while they themselves, do nothing but pay lip service to the marxist driven shit they peddle. Of course she didn’t like that either, which is why I knew what Ricky did was an even bigger deal than I originally thought it had been.

      More power to him for telling of a bunch of asshats that deserved to be told their best course of action was to shut their fucking traps and let the rest of us be.

      • PieInTheSky

        Of course, she didn’t like that because she felt it was controversial. – a lot of good humor is controversial… because where is the fun otherwise.

      • AlexinCT

        She is definitely one of these people worried about PC culture. Me, I will do anything and everything I can to destroy that travesty of a movement. It is nothing but more bullshit by the people that want to create a system of arbitrary and always morphing rules that will force the masses to remain silent as they lead these docile societies into the new marxist revolution, with the hundred million plus dead body count and the billions living in prison-like conditions replaced with simply using their power to destroy anyone that stands in their way’s ability to earn a living in any way, and drive us all back into the fucking middle ages.

      • JD is Unemployed

        I don’t know about the hundreds of millions dead – I think this time around it will end up being hundreds of millions living a dull, obedient, humorless existence devoid of autonomy, and totally reliant upon a quasi-corporate, government monopoly on everything, living by a byzantine code of grievance legislation that dictates who can say what and who can have what. So, in actuality, an existence worse than death. Give me liberty, or something something.

      • AlexinCT

        I don’t know about the hundreds of millions dead

        By my count marxism killed at least 120 million and imprisoned some 3 billion people in hell. If you add the 60 million the fascists killed – and remember that these asshats peddling totalitarian governments running all aspects of our lives under the guise of providing people things they have a “right” to, having abandoned pure marxism and adopted fascism light – then you have close to 200 million corpses.

        And yes, I might not have been accurate enough in my prose to point out that the new fascists no longer require camps, of either the reeducation or death variety, because they now have the power to destroy everyone’s ability to earn a living. And wait until they implement their social score idea. Then it will get to be real fun.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Hey guy, chiil. I meant in the future. I’m well aware of the 20th century and it’s vast bodycount.

      • The Last American Hero

        Make no mistake that the camps will return. It’s the only way. When they start mandating that churches administer gay weddings or celebrate the trans community or be shut down, it’s only a matter of time before a group of Mormons or Catholics are caught worshiping in secret and hauled off.

      • leon

        it’s only a matter of time before a group of Mormons or Catholics are caught worshiping in secret and hauled off.

        That’s old hat.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        You can’t intimidate people into compliance without breaking a few eggs.

      • JD is Unemployed

        I can see how given the slow and insidious (to borrow Judd Apatow’s recent observations on Chinese censorship) acquiescense to such things, the shifting of the overton window etc, that the vast majority of folks will just rationalise it all away like it’s all perfectly fine. There’s no great, bloody revolution this time around, just the sad, incremental, insidious, erosion of autonomy and liberty achieved via the long march through the institutions, and possibly also via ill-judged, authoritarian “reactionary” developments from certain elements on the other side of the big purple uniparty, or the “culture wars” or whatever. I live in a country whose courts hand down prison sentences for wrongspeak, so the reeducation camps are already here. I can see it gaining momentum on your side of the Atlantic, too.

      • Not Adahn

        I remember johnny Carson being funny without being controversial.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        But he also didn’t use his podium to lecture us.

      • PieInTheSky

        I said a lot not all. Also are you sure none of his stuff would be vaguely problematic today?

      • UnCivilServant

        “Shish baah boom” *opens envelope* “Sound made by an exploding sheep”

      • Not Adahn

        “I didn’t know you were Jewish.”

      • Not Adahn

        Well, he’s a cracker, so obviously his humor is problematic today.

        But to be slightly serious, there IS a lot of humor based on pain, and therefore the target for abuse determines the degree of problemacity. But not all humor relies on pain, pace Mel Brooks.

        Puns for example.

      • UnCivilServant

        Puns cause pain.

        Or was that ‘buns are pain’. Actually that might have been something a frog told me.

      • AlexinCT

        Frog? What do the french have to do with this?

      • sloopyinca

        I told her I bet it would prevent the lot of these overpaid and overvalued idiots from preaching to us about their nanny state support of shit that would be ruinous for modern societies,

        I’ll take that bet. Putting up the deed to my house. You can bet $10. Those seem like safe odds to me.

      • AlexinCT

        The fact that these morons are tone deaf and actually as dumb as Gervaise pointed out they are, makes that a bet I should avoid. But my point was made. She got it. She just didn’t like the tension because she has bought into the PC culture demand that only the right things be made fun of.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Alex: Honey, I’m……home!’

        Does a pirouette while tossing a fedora onto a coat stand and elegantly jumps on the couch. Notices a letter on the coffee table.

        ‘What’s this? A love letter?”

        Note: Dear Alex, I’ve been thinking about last night and all the stuff you said…..

      • AlexinCT

        Heh. She knew what she was getting from the getgo, and what she wanted was someone other than the usual beta males that comprise the PC culture. She knows better than to lecture me, cause I will just make fun of her and the entire PC crowd. Besides, she is now more focused on making me a Viking and Gopher fan anyway, so she is too busy to worry about that other crap.

      • leon

        “she is now more focused on making me a Viking and Gopher fan anyway,”

        She’s more evil than I imagined

      • AlexinCT

        She was born and raised in that frozen layer of hell named Minnesoda and still lives out there. At some point I suspect she will ask me to go out there. Me, I will propose we both move to warmer climes, even if it means I have to give up on this wonderful concept I discovered while visiting said state of meat raffles.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Well, they were impressive yesterday. Man that pass from Cousins to Thielen and the catch was awesome.

      • AlexinCT

        If you have inteeracted with people from Minnesoda, you know they are all about the Viking’s curse and how the team always chokes on Monday night games and whenever it plays playoff games. That win yesterday sure as hell went a long way to change that, but Minnesodans all pine for that elusive Superbowl trophy named after Vince.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        The Vikings are like the Sabres. Solid historical record in the regular season, some post-season success, but no trophy.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. You have to remember we are covered in massive amounts of emotional scarring due to repeated failures of the Vikes to win the big one. I’ve at least got some prestigious scars from the SB’s in the ’70s. My poor kid only has NFC Championship scars.

        To truly appreciate the evil of the Vikes you have to realize that for most of the year we hide in our shell of scars and wait for the disappointment. Then at some point the Vikes do something to make you think that this could really “The Year” and you poke your head out of the shell only to be instantly clobbered by some idiocy like Favre throwing across his body for a pick.

        And you don’t just get to move to Minnesoda Alex. We have a vetting process.

      • AlexinCT

        I heard about said vetting process at one of those meat raffles she made me attend your holiness. As long as it is not like the one I had to go through to become a member of the People’ Republic of Connecticut’s population. Maybe it was my fault, but I swear that I heard them say I had to drink a case of whiskey, fuck a bear, and wrestle an old crone. Then again, after the case of whiskey it all blurred together. I should have known I had it wrong when I popped that bear one and the crone was easy to pin on the mat.

      • The Last American Hero

        Favre, who spent most of his career breaking the hearts of Vikings fans wearing a cheesehead helmet and then ending it by breaking your hears wearing purple. Is he the most hated man in Minnesota?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I think Favre is still more on the beloved side of the ledger. Even when he was a Packer, he was a fun guy to watch. It was a good rivalry that you could respect.

        And yeah, people grumble about that pass, but he was at least a QB who could give your team a chance when you needed to score at the end of the game. We haven’t had one of those since here in Minnesoda.

      • CampingInYourPark

        Kirk Cousins seems to me among the most nonathletic QB’s in the NFL. There should be drills for these type of QB’s. Count to 3…if nobody is open throw the ball away towards a receiver. Don’t duck your head and cower in fear.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        George to Kramer: You’re Bat-Man!

      • Rebel Scum

        because she felt it was controversial.

        It was only “controversial” because it harmed leftist’s delicate sensibilities.

      • cyto

        If you didn’t watch it, it is must see TV.

        He grabbed the third rail several times and the professional woke in the audience were visibly wincing.

        Legend!

    • invisible finger

      I avoid these shows like the plague but I realized during the commercials for it during the playoff games that not one show nor any show’s actors nominated for an award are actually on one of the “major” TV networks. Seems like the show would be a 3+ hour commercial for how crummy network television has become.

  2. Animal

    Woof woof!

    (That’s my other dog imitation.)

    • UnCivilServant

      Much like Tudor attire, that’s ruff.

      • Animal

        I predict the coming puns will be real howlers.

      • mindyourbusiness

        We’re all wags here, if we have the chance to be.

      • Animal

        As long as we’re not the mutt of jokes.

      • Jarflax

        The Schweitzer Laufhund at this?

      • Fourscore

        The trees bark at all the dog jokes

  3. PieInTheSky

    Hero or villain? And no, it’s not about Trump or the terrorist he had killed. Or anybody from politics, for that matter. – neither really. Given the numbers of the things

  4. robc

    I told you Ancelotti* was going to have a rough go. There isn’t the talent to get to 6th (there may be the talent to have got there from the start). And financials just came out, he isn’t getting any real money to work with in January until some dead wood is eliminated. Everton has apparently gone from 30MM pounds in profit in 2018 to 100MM pounds loss in 2019.

    *one l, two ts. Still working on that one.

    • sloopyinca

      Those one-off games sometimes end up like that. And I’m just busting your balls by focusing in on it (as a Reds fan here, I’m sure you come to expect it). I still see them possibly challenging for too 6. The middle of the table is just a mess.

      • robc

        There is no excuse for not winning this one though. Liverpool conceded the FA Cup to focus on Europe and it didn’t matter.

        Which I find crazy as FA Cup is more important than Champions League.

      • sloopyinca

        Not to teams in the CL, it isn’t. Which makes me sad.

      • robc

        Proper Order:

        1. Premier League
        2. FA Cup
        3. Champions League

        9t. League Cup
        9t. Uefa League

      • Rhywun

        I actually feared the worst with that team and then Milner out with an injury in the first few minutes and subbed by some other dude I never heard of.

        Well done, kids!

    • Not Adahn

      I hope the Ancelottis make a comeback in Season 3 of Suburra.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Will you marry me? Nevermind. Christ, what a bigger asshole. – he thought it is better than canceling the wedding and hurting her feelings?

    • leon

      Really did it for her

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Didn’t want to. Felt like he owed it to her.

  6. leon

    Morning you rapscallions!

  7. Pat

    Hero or villain?

    I understand the impulse, even if it was kind of a shitty thing to do. On the other hand, the fucking cops actually came out to a parking lot full of dead birds to investigate? I wish the local boys in blue gave that much of a shit when I got a $700 USPS package stolen and literally gave them the phone number, address, eBay account, and license plate #s of the perp. (I ended up having to buy the stolen item on eBay, take possession of it, and then get my money back – cops did literally nothing).

    • Sean

      Libertarian moment?

    • UnCivilServant

      What? You expected them to do anything? You’d be lucky if they even bothered to file a report.

      • Pat

        They did at least do that, which was important for getting my cash back. Thankfully I submitted 5 pages of documents along with the report, including pictures of the item with its serial number showing, full description, sales invoice, and all of the shipping information, including the contact # and report # of the case I opened with the US Postal Inspectors (who also did nothing btw. Not even a call back. That one actually surprised me because I’ve dealt with them a couple times in the past and they’re usually pretty good. In this case the cause of the theft was a fuck up on the part of my mailperson though, so that probably explains it).

    • leon

      Look man, is was practically a murder investigation. I’m sure they will get some stars and medals for it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Killing birds involves a sizable fine, therefore more revenue for them than petty larceny.

    • sloopyinca

      You should have told them you saw the perp selling drugs to a couple of kids. That would have sealed his fate.

    • hayeksplosives

      I too have had disappointing police response to thefts in which I had presented carefully curated evidence.

      They’re cynical enough to know that you’re never getting your stuff back.

      In one case though, the cops did nothing I could see, but a couple of days later, the secret service contacted me, so I guess they at least forward the interesting cases to an appropriate agency.

      • leon

        Did the secret service one have to do with counterfeit money?

      • hayeksplosives

        It was monetary fraud the was suspected to be funding terrorist activity. Origin was Indonesia.

        The SS gladly accepted my documentation, but apologized that they wouldn’t be able to talk to me about the outcome of my case, for security purposes.

      • leon

        Huh. When I worked at the bank we turned counterfeit money over to the secret service

  8. The Late P Brooks

    People are assholes. Those mountain lions were the real heroes.

    • Fourscore

      Nothing goes to waste in nature. Recycle, repurpose

    • JD is Unemployed

      I really think there are an awful lot of folks who don’t realise that they are a food item on various menus. There are easy precautions to take when you are wandering around in the wilderness as a big sack of tender juicy meat.

  9. Pat

    This guy screwed up.

    When I first read the headline I assumed the mountain lions had mauled a hiker to death and was kinda wondering what the cops planned to do about it.

    • leon

      Maybe they arrested the cougar.

      • Fourscore

        Cougar? That’s my ex-girl friend!

  10. Rufus the Monocled

    The injuries sustained by the Eagles this year was unbelievable right up until last night when Wentz and Graham were lost.

    A healthy Eagles team wins that game. Seattle could barely beat what was basically a B team.

    I kept hoping Carroll would trip and fall on the sidelines as he celebrated whatever play.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Uppity peasants.

    Speaking in Montomery, Alabama, Bloomberg said that it’s the “job of law enforcement to have guns and decide when to shoot.” Of course, there are a couple of problems with that argument, starting with the Bill of Rights and the guarantee that “the people” have the right not only to keep arms to but to bear them. The Supreme Court has said that the core purpose of the Second Amendment is to protect the right of self-defense. That means Bloomberg’s on the wrong side of history and the Constitution when he proclaims that the average American should be disarmed and defenseless.

    Secondly, Michael Bloomberg enjoys the protection of a virtual phalanx of armed guards. Personally, I think that’s great. Most of us, however, can’t afford our own private security teams. We are our own bodyguards. If Bloomberg seriously believes that only police should have the power to draw a gun in self-defense or in defense of another, he should replace his armed guards with a troupe of mimes instead.

    “You just do not want the average American carrying a gun in a crowded place,” said the former New York mayor. Actually, I do want the average American to be able to exercise their right to bear arms, as more than 18-million Americans who possess a concealed carry license currently do. That also doesn’t take into account the millions more who live in states that don’t require a license or permit in order for legal gun owners to lawfully carry.

    • PieInTheSky

      “job of law enforcement to have guns and decide when to shoot.” – hoe’s that working out so far?

      • sloopyinca

        Let it go. Bloomberg is just pimping for votes.

      • leon

        He keeps pushing this and some people might hoist the black flag and begin slutting throats

      • The Last American Hero

        Time to stock up on narwhal tusks…

      • Not Adahn

        Keep shoveling the puns into this thread.

    • leon

      ” “job of law enforcement to have guns and decide when to shoot.” ”

      As it’s amply detailed in the article, what level of up your ass do you have to be to think no one has a right to defend themselves.

      Duck that piece of shite.

  12. robc

    Charlton-Dibble-Myers meant the starters only had to go 6. And THAT is how you win the World Series.

    It helps having Jose Rijo going more than 6 and keeping them rested too.

    The Reds are still sitting on a 10 game World Series winning streak, starting with Game 6 in 1975 (last 2 in 1975, sweep in 1976 and 1990)

  13. PieInTheSky

    THE NAKED PHILANTHROPIST
    @lilearthangelk
    I’m sending nudes to every person who donates atleast $10 to any one of these fundraisers for the wildfires in Australia. Every $10 you donate = one nude picture from me to your DM. You must send me confirmation that you donated.

    https://twitter.com/lilearthangelk/status/1213284066755317761

    • sloopyinca

      Scrolling through her timeline, I see that Botox is back.

      • PieInTheSky

        Did it ever go away really?

      • sloopyinca

        I thought it got replaced by natural ducklips for a while.

    • Pat

      10 bucks for one nude pic? Shit, Playboy was never even that extortionate before the internet existed, AND it came with articles.

      • PieInTheSky

        Well it is for a good cause. You don’t give her the 10 bucks, you give it for the kangaroos to some ineffective charity or other.

      • UnCivilServant

        Kangaroos are a pest species. They’re like whitetails, loved by the people who don’t have to deal with them.

      • PieInTheSky

        800 billion of them are in danger. Have you no heart?

      • UnCivilServant

        Sounds like we should be dumping BBW sauce on them, because that’s some mighty overcrowded population. Let the wildfires cook the lot.

      • PieInTheSky

        BBW sauce is indeed something else entirely

      • Sean

        *Lights the Tres signal*

      • sloopyinca

        BBW sauce

        Pretty sure you gotta pay extra for that.

      • UnCivilServant

        They’re adjacent keys, I missed the one I was going for.

      • Not Adahn

        You really like Buffalo Wild Wing sauce, huh?

      • Nephilium

        BW-3’s was downhill once they got rid of weck.

      • robc

        BW-3’s was downhill once they got rid of weck.

        Which coincided with them being bought by a national corp.

      • UnCivilServant

        $10 bought a lot more back before the internet too.

      • Fourscore

        Price of 2 pictures goes a lot farther downtown

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    Imagine being such a self-absorbed ignorant asshole filled with irrational hatred of a President to the point you side with a religious theocracy and a terrorist.

    I’m at a loss for words for people like Lopez.

    • Drake

      “Comedian” George Lopez – he might be a bit bitter that he truly sucks at his job. He’s never made me smile much less laugh. I haven’t heard his name in a decade.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        It’s one thing to be bitter and jaded about a career and another to joke about killing a President giving the appearance you side with a real, bona-fide enemy.

        It’s nuts. Imagine if celebrities went off like like this with Obama like we’ve seen under Trump?

        In the latter it’s free speech of course. The former it would be ‘how dare you racist?’

    • AlexinCT

      It does not surprise me at all after the last 3 1/2 years of listening to these people incoherently double speaking and double thinking about anything and everything as long as they could attack orange man and call him bad. These are the same people that cheered on president Droney McPeaceprize when he was killing brown people all over the Middle East and told us how great of a peacemaking warior he was. Gotta love that moniker for brown Jesus too.

    • Rebel Scum

      Proggies and Islam are strange bedfellows.

      • AlexinCT

        Both want/worship totalitarian systems that are quasi-religious in nature, so they are fellow travelers against any other system that stands in the way of that effort.

      • Pat

        Islam is just a means to an end to them. They no more give a fuck about Muslims then they do about trannies or illegal immigrants or anything else. It’s all just a wedge in their little Marxist class war LARP. At any given moment there are only the oppressor class and the victim class.

      • invisible finger

        Sound like natural allies to me. The basic tenets of both are “How dare you think for yourself?? Die, infidel, die!”

      • Jarflax

        Uigher please! The Party sets the rules not Allah.

      • AlexinCT

        Who do you think has the ultimate authority to speak for Allah, huh?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Happy news

    Carlos Ghosn used public transportation to get from Tokyo to Osaka before boarding a private jet in his escape to Lebanon, broadcaster NTV reported, citing sources involved in the investigation.

    The former head of Nissan Motor Co. and Renault SA took a bullet train around 4:30 p.m. local time on Dec. 29 from Tokyo’s Shinagawa station, according to the report. He then took a taxi from Shin-Osaka station and stayed at a hotel near Kansai Airport, it said.

    I take back all the bad things I said about trains.

    In the movie version, he’ll jump from a bridge onto the roof of the train, and surf to safety while dodging bullets arrows.

    • UnCivilServant

      You forgot the obligatory fight with Ninjas on the tarmac trying to get to the plane.

    • PieInTheSky

      There is one country on the planet set to punish the evil capitalist oligarchs for their crimes, off course libertarians are against it

      • leon

        Fossil fuel managers must be prosecuted!!!

      • PieInTheSky

        Burn them !

      • Fourscore

        Ghosn tears up Australian passport…

  16. Shirley Knott

    Hey, hometown news!
    The local news has been pretty quiet about this one. Interesting to see it get out-of-state attention. Hell hath no fury like a restaurateur trying to make a living in Lansing.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “job of law enforcement to have guns and decide when to shoot.” – hoe’s that working out so far?

    Well, Pie, you win some, and you lose some, but as long as the cops go home unharmed, it’s all okay.

    • leon

      -1 UPS driver

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Speaking of The Pretenders and in spirit with Lopez, didn’t Hynde scream ‘I hope the Muslims win!’ during a live a concert after Bush decided to attack Af-ganny-stan and Da I-raq?

    • sloopyinca

      I don’t know. Possibly. She’s been vocal in the past in anti-war stuff.

      Hell of a singer, though.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Yup and good band.

    • hayeksplosives

      I went to a concert where the Pretentious were opening. Prissy Haynes lectured us all about how stupid we all were for going to college or working hard, when all we should have done was drop out of school and become rock stars, like her.

      She kept mocking the people whose money she was living on.

      It was too much for me. I stood up and yelled “shut up and sing!!” My section of the Xcel energy center erupted in applause.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Wow. Talk about ungrateful arrogance.

      • AlexinCT

        That’s what these people are like. Full of themselves and ready to look down upon the rubes that allow them to make money doing shitty stuff.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Seriously. Why would you disrespect people in general?

      • AlexinCT

        Some people just can’t avoid the need to virtue signal, especially about how much better they are than others, and doubly so, when they are not at all as virtuous as they pretend to be.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        When you’re tired of what you’re doing for money and you don’t see the value in your own product, you tend to lose respect for those who pay for you to do it.

        It’s a kind of imposter syndrome.

      • Rhywun

        That’s so disappointing. I’d always liked her. ?

    • invisible finger

      Is there a good Pretenders song without James Honeyman-Scott or Billy Bremner on it?

      The answer is NO.

  19. PieInTheSky

    Drifting in an autonomous vehicle. Uses rotation rate of the vehicle’s velocity vector to track the path, while yaw acceleration is used to stabilize sideslip. Could help autonomous vehicles in emergencies. Fun results.

    https://twitter.com/Reza_Zadeh/status/1213924392905785344

    • Jarflax

      It is really autonomous when you preprogram every move manually?

  20. UnCivilServant

    Does anyone know an example of a species that uses both chitin and keratin?

    • PieInTheSky

      not me

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Tin Man?

    • sloopyinca

      Black people?

      • sloopyinca

        Nevermind. I thought you said chitlins.

      • Gadfly

        If we’re taking “use” in that sense, then any coastal people would do, as they use keratin to use chitin (i.e. use their fingernails while eating crustaceans).

      • UnCivilServant

        No, I’m wondering if anything has both chitinous and keratinous bodily structures naturally.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Spiders, and that’s it. Spiders make a form of keratin in their silk, but otherwise it is one or the other, no animal makes both.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    For car nutz:

    What Project Binky coulda/shoulda been

    MightyCarMods Australian weirdos buy Nissan Fairlady (Datsun 260Z) in Japan, bring it back to Australia and slide rear wheel drive Nissan GTR drivetrain under it. Very clean, very impressive.

    • R C Dean

      Awe. Some.

      Always had a soft spot for Z cars. That’s how you restored a classic.

      • R C Dean

        restomod

    • pistoffnick

      I have been binge watching a show called “Roadkill”. It started out as a youtube channel put out by Hot Rod magazine, now it is a fully produced show on Speed Channel / Motor Trend. The buy pieces of shit and fix them up for cheap, often at the side of the road. I like it because they aren’t pretentious and they own up to their mistakes – and they like to do burnouts.

  22. PieInTheSky

    A couple of days ago, I talked about an “engine the size of a house”.

    It’s a not an exaggeration. What are the engines and other equipment like on a container ship?

    This is a 66,000gt ship, approximately 280m long. Rated about 5500 TEU.

    This is the top of the main engine.

    https://twitter.com/cybergibbons/status/1176182170546835456

    • UnCivilServant

      What? It’s not like a little outboard is going to move that much cargo economically.

      • sloopyinca

        This is Reason #1 to hate Europe.

        Build a fucking truck with a hood, you bastards! Nobody in their right mind would drive a Pete 362 when they have the option of a lovely 389 long hood.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Don’t worry. Their line-up of trucks have plenty of hoods!

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Oh you mean those hoods!

        Lol.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I wonder why they do that. My father bought a Volvo and Fiat truck (long story) back in the 90s. I even have a truck driving license (long story) and had a blast driving them.

        I wonder why though, come to think of it, they cut-off the hoods and build the fronts flat.

        Can it be it’s to make it easier to drive around Europe’s tights roads outside the highway system?

      • sloopyinca

        That’s the reason. The turn radius on one of those trucks is probably 20 feet less than that of a W900 or 379. Of course, they aren’t usually pulling a 53′ trailer either and the sleepers are for shit. But there aren’t as many long-haul owner-operators there since that wasn’t really feasible until the EU opened all the borders and because protectionism and unions have killed small business ownership in Europe IRT logistics.

      • PieInTheSky

        Now the big battle is how much drivers from poorer countries like Romania can drive in Germany and such without unfair competition to the much better payed local drivers

      • sloopyinca

        So much for a European common market.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I thought the EU was supposed to erase all these squabbles. Yet, it’s all I read about in all sorts industries and manners.

      • UnCivilServant

        The EU’s purpose is to allow Germany to finally conquer Europe.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I remember reading that there are overall length restrictions, or were, on CMVs in Europe. Shorter cabs=longer payload space.

      • Don Escaped Bloomington

        Hood lines: pretty or safe, pick one

        No other truck has the safety or lifetime cost of ownership of a VN.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Fuck what the market wants – build longer, more inefficient trucks that ignore the advantages of a cab-over design!

        It’s a bit like GM in the 70s – “You don’t want smaller, more efficient cars! You want what we say you want! You want a 6000lb sedan that gets 5mpg, not one of those little Nip faggot cars that gets 30mpg and will still run in 10 years! Those are for communists! You want a union-made chunk of American steel! Don’t be an unpatriotic faggot commie! Buy American!”

      • AlexinCT

        Sounds like the government in action that so many of the “I have a right to free shit” people peddle…

      • JD is Unemployed

        You’d think the “we know what’s best for you and you don’t” thing would have firmly established itself in the bad ideas hall of fame by now.

      • AlexinCT

        The young, usually uneducated or indoctrinated to believe otherwise, always seem to fall for this shit.

      • sloopyinca

        I just say that in jest. Obviously the trucks are all built for different marketplaces. Ain’t nobody doing intracity delivery with a 379 hood with a 72″ sleeper. And there aren’t that many drivers in the US rolling with one either because they’re dangerous as hell of you don’t know what you’re doing and the fuel efficiency sucks even compared to T800.

        I just like knocking Europe.

      • JD is Unemployed

        I figured.

        I just like knocking the disastrous mismanagement of the American car industry in the ’70s, which is ironic because some of my favourite cars are American and from the ’70s (controversial choice and probably garbage in reality).

      • sloopyinca

        My first car (kinda, since I wrecked the 74 Maverick 4-door) was a 1970 Thunderbird with a 429SCJ. I will always have a soft spot for 70s American cars. Even if most were pieces of shit.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Living the dream for me might involve dropping $100,000 into building a racecar and becoming a hero on the street, but a) not here and b) I’m done with screwing around with cars.

      • JD is Unemployed

        PS – so prompted by you mentioned the ’70 T-bird. Definitely one of my choice project cars for such a gargantuan waste of money.

    • AlexinCT

      I am more about nuclear power when it comes to generating some serious speed to move 100,000+ tons of ship around…

    • Shirley Knott

      Fascinating! Thanks for posting this. The guy does a good walkthrough.

  23. robc

    The following wall o’text is probably interesting to exactly 6 of you, at most, but I am doing it anyway.

    Glip Dips 2 Review: Germany

    Ugh, I hate playing Germany. I want to build boats and sail around, not this army BS. The one thing I know about playing Germany is you have to make peace with Austria. An early German-Austria war is a double suicide. My experience says you can’t attack Austria before you control 8 SCs or after 12. There is a sweet spot in the middle to stab your rival, but an early peace is necesssary. Fortunately, Austria agreed, and we kept Bohemia neutral for nearly the whole game (stares at Austria’s late moves).

    With that in place and general peaciness agreements with all my borders, I went with the Jutland Gambit opening. Fleet Kiel to Denmark to Skagarack. Berlin to Kiel to Denmark. Munich to Ruhr to Holland. England and France both agreed to leave Belgium for me to scoop up! I “negotiated” allowing Russia into Sweden in return for support into Norway in ’02. It is the most neutral German opening, I could choose my enemies later on. My plan was to get to a corner, either England or Russia, either take Sweden or Norway in 02 and procede from there. But two things happened I wasn’t expecting: 1 – Italy took Marseilles. 2 – England built a 2nd army!?! At this point my grand plan fell into place. I would help convoy and support the 2nd army into Sweden. With 2 armies in scandanavia, Russia would fall in the north and I could focus on France. With Italy’s assistance, I would take Paris and Brest while England was working on St Pete and Moscow. And I would scoop up Warsaw in the process. Then I would stab England, by taking Sweden/Norway, cutting him in half, and I would rule the northern seas!

    As they say, no plan survives contact with the enemy. Without the hoped for Italian support, I held off on the invasion of France and gave support to England vs Russia. By the time, I turned back to France, England was moving into Brest and I only got Paris. Italy was back doored by Turkey and was falling apart. At this point, I could have still stabbed England, but it would have just given Austria a solo victory. I couldn’t win, so I brokered a 3 way deal with England and Austria.

    And that is how we ended up with the unsatisfactory ending. But it is satandard game theory…we were in a situation where any 2 of the 3 remaining powers could destroy the 3rd, so everyone played nice (although England and Austria got awful paranoid at the end).

    • sloopyinca

      I recognize several of those words yet none of that made any sense to me.

      • robc

        You are not one of the 6.

    • AlexinCT

      I thought we had to be worried about war with Iran? Did orange man also do the world, but especially the Germans, a favor and drone strike that East German bitch lording it over the neutered Krauts?

    • tarran

      My write up.

      Playing Austria is fun. I was very happy to get Germany’s offer of a non-aggression pact and gave high priority to its maintenance. My first goal was to kill Turkey. I figured a limited alliance with Russia toward that purpose would be a great idea, and fortunately Russia was amenable. Once Turkey was dead, then I’d decide what next.

      Unfortunately, Turkey was a capable player and by the time turkey finally shuffled off its mortal coil, the three powers were in a sort of Mexican stand-off. While it was tempting to tell England what Germany said about his mom, I decided to stay quiet and let things lie.

      It’s a fascinating thing about game theory that the more successful you get, the more worried you are of betrayal. Both Turkey and France were very eager for me to turn on Russia. And once Russia’s northern front collapsed, I decided that I would have to at some point in the future; to … protect its southern territories from aggression and falling into its enemies’ hands (you know what other Austrian wanted to annex territories to protect them from foreign aggression?). However, I stayed true to Russia to the very end, and didn’t take up Turkey’s offer to betray Russia and give Turkey more life. I did allow Turkey and France to think that I was inclined to make the betrayal, which prompted Turkey to drop its defenses and I was able to occupy Asia Minor with forces sufficient to conquer it.

      I was genuinely open to allying with France to stave Germany getting too powerful, but after seeing me demonstrate my loyalty to Russia, France decided that I was an untrustworthy ally and declined to ally with me. One year later, France was on the verge of extinction.

      Interestingly, I was sort of lucky that France and Turkey killed Italy, and then I moved in and took it over. Russia bore the brunt of the early fighting with Turkey, and set me up to be able to move in and take it over. England and Germany killed Russia, allowing me to consolidate my hold on the Balkans, and I actually was in a position to take conquer much of Russia at the very end if I wanted to.

      Finally, France could have fought me for Italy, but Germany & Russia killed France, allowing me to consolidate my hold.

      So a great strategy is this; let other people kill your neighbors and then move in and take the neighbors over.

      My fears at the end stage:

      Germany stabbing me in the back.

      England allying with Turkey or France to get her fleets into the Med and then stabbing me in the side.

      England and Germany faking a war between them to lull me into entering into an alliance so that they could stab me in the back and the front at the same time.

      Looking at it at the very end, I think I could have won single-handedly. But it would have taken days and days of real-life time, and once the three powers had agreed to a draw, being that guy who insists the game keep going struck me as being a dick move. The sort that gets people inclined to kill you right off the bat in future games.

      The game was a fun relief. I had a potentially life threatening medical condition crop up and during the game I ended up in the ER three times, one time thinking I might be in the soup. The game was a great way to distract myself from worrying. I am really grateful for the kind wishes and consideration shown by the other players when I asked for a break.

      • robc

        I did suggest attacking you in your weakened state at one point.

      • Jarflax

        Playing Turkey is less fun. Especially when Austria and Russia have decided from turn one that you must be killed. I’d go into great detail here but since I was on the defensive with 3 units and trying desperately to get an alliance or even a respite from 1902 on it would be boring.

      • robc

        Yeah, Turkey can be that way. You either get stuck in the corner, or explode out and win. Not much middle ground.

      • tarran

        Thanks for being such a good sport though.

        And you did play your terrible hand quite well. You used one fleet to take and briefly hold two of Italy’s supply points against opposition.

      • Jarflax

        Oh I still enjoyed playing. I was just a bit taken aback that after a total of 4 games of real against humans Diplomacy played, all except one of which were gunboat (no communication), and none of which I won, I was somehow regarded as the super player who needed to be killed first.

      • The Hyperbole

        It was only my second game and I think I’m still on the upside of the learning curve. If there is interest I’m up for another game.

      • Jarflax

        I’d play again. I enjoy having a game going. I think that being forced to think strategically, tactically and diplomatically about something without a lot of real life consequences is good mental exercise. And it is fun.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ll set up a game and make an announcement in the afternoon links.

      • DEG

        I had a potentially life threatening medical condition crop up and during the game I ended up in the ER three times, one time thinking I might be in the soup.

        Sorry tarran.

    • Jarflax

      I think Austria could have won a solo at the end if they had gone for it. England was out of position to defend Iberia against their fleets, you had no depth in the East. You were the only player really facing 2 opponents at the end because you guys divided the map into horizontal strips.

    • The Hyperbole

      It’s not paranoid if they are out to get you.

      • UnCivilServant

        Just because they’re out to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was merely cautiously frightened.

  24. Drake

    Now I wish I had watched the Golden Globes, Gervais went all red-pill on them.

    “You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg,” Gervais told the A-list crowd at the top of the show.

    “So, if you win, come up, accept your little award tonight, come up, accept it, thank your agent and your God, and fuck off. No one cares about your views on politics or culture.”

    “A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing made by a company that runs sweatshops in China”

    “If ISIS started a streaming service, you all would be calling your agents.”

    • AlexinCT

      That was the only part of that show worth watching Drake. Despite Gervais hitting them hard, too many of them managed to make asshats out of themselves. I certainly will not be watching any of these events again. Not even to get me some trim for the effort. These freakshows are pedantic and suck ass.

    • PieInTheSky

      Now I wish I had watched the Golden Globes – I don’t. I’ll just watch the fun bits online and skip the bullshit

    • LJW

      I wouldn’t say he was “red pilled”. He just called out the hypocrisy of Hollywood. I’d bet he is still very much a Labour Party supporter.

      • Gadfly

        What would you call it when someone clearly sees the faults of those adjacent to them? Orwell was a committed socialist, yet he was able to incisively criticize the end of where that road leads.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    This is a 66,000gt ship, approximately 280m long. Rated about 5500 TEU.

    WOW

  26. Rebel Scum

    The person then plowed through the seagulls in a car and fled, the statement said.

    Seltzer tablets might have been easier.

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    Yesterday there was a ‘end the war machine’ march in Montreal with people waving Iranian flags and pictures of the ‘victim’ killed by the U.S..

    I just watched with my jaw on the floor.

    Out the ‘anti-war marchers’ come after an eight year slumber.

    • leon

      You can find the disengenious anti eat types by the ones who feel the need to take the opposite side rather than just oppose war.

      • leon

        Antiwar types

    • hayeksplosives

      Are they gonna dig up that crazy Cindy Sheehan again?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        At least she criticized Obama..

      • WTF

        Which is why she was memory-holed.

      • hayeksplosives

        And that when the media quit covering her.

    • WTF

      That’s not anti-war, that’s just rooting for the other side.

    • AlexinCT

      Funny how the ANSWER (died in the wool commies) disappeared under Obama only to resurface now when every attempt to invalidate the 2016 election they thought they had rigged in favor of Hillary was somehow won by the evil orange man, huh?..

      • The Last American Hero

        Same with our own “Women in black” that protested through most of the Bush years and vanished the day Obama beat McCain.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Seltzer tablets might have been easier.

    I had a friend who told me about taking Alka Seltzer (and jalapenos) to the beach, to toss to the sea gulls.

    I wonder if Alka Seltzer would work on mice.

    • Mad Scientist

      It only works on birds because they can’t burp. Mice would be fine.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Now I wish I had watched the Golden Globes

    Bah. Still just a giant circle-jerk.

    • cyto

      The monologue was worth it. Available on youtube.

    • leon

      Ancient? It was 300 years ago. Was the founding of the United States also ancient? SMDH

    • Pat

      The judge ruled his life sentence must include a minimum of 30 years in jail.

      I’d have thought “life sentence” meant a sentence spanning the duration of his life, but it’s their language I guess.

      • UnCivilServant

        You have to remember something about UK Prisons.

        Terrorists like the bridge stabber get out early.

        Murderers like one of the guys who stopped the bridge stabber are allowed day leave.

        Outspoken critics of the government like Tommy Robinson are placed in populations most likely to murder them and have to opt for solitary confinement to survive their sentences.

    • Count Potato

      “To put this in perspective, this is the same number of engagements the top NY Times and CNN stories on Facebook had over the past week.

      A lot of people sharing this “satirical” story on Facebook don’t know it is satire.”

      https://twitter.com/donie/status/1213953640198819847

      OFFS!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Bet that guy’s a barrel of laughs at a party.

      • leon

        Too many sites hide behind the name ‘satire’ when they aren’t the least bit funny. There needs to be reviews of these sites and shut them down if they are just misinformation sweatshops.
        19 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        Andre Walker
        ‏ @amwalker30349
        10h10 hours ago

        Who decides?
        3 replies 0 retweets 25 likes

        True Blood Net
        ?
        ‏ @truebloodnet
        Replying to @amwalker30349 @donie @KFILE

        Pretty sure we could get a non biased group together to review sites and then recommend them to feds for further investigation

        But it’s Donald Trump that is the Nazi. If you have the truth, then why get upset when someone else is wrong? If it’s cause they can vote, then maybe we should keep stupid people from voting.

      • AlexinCT

        A non biased group like Snopes? Or like the dnc operatives with bylines that pretend to be neutral reporters?

      • Rebel Scum

        But it’s Donald Trump that is the Nazi.

        Obvious satire is literally #fakenews that must be destroyed. 1A be damned.

      • tarran

        What’s funny is that if you read any of their articles, the section where they show related articles has obvious parody titles. For example, right now it prominently displays a link to their news article that Trump Claims to Have Done More for Christianity Than Jesus, and Turmp Claims His Father Totally Works at Nintendo and Gets Him Free Stuff All The Time.

        Yes, they’re totally trying to fool people into supporting Trump. 🙄

      • R C Dean

        shut them down if they are just misinformation sweatshops

        CNN hardest hit?

      • AlexinCT

        I am willing to bet real money these asshats believe CNN is the source of truth, and is only outdone in that respect by MSNBC….

      • leon

        The Guy’s a Reporter from CNN, of course he’s butthurt.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        https://twitter.com/donie/status/1185246555168804864

        “I’m here with a hacker who uses a special form of hacking called social engineering…..”

        That “special” form of hacking only accounts for about 95% of the major hack jobs in the past 30 years.

      • leon

        Systems have gotten fairly good enough that Humans are going to be the weakest link in any security.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    In a perfect world, Joe Biden would be out in the countryside hoeing potatoes, while members of the Red Guard Youth Faction spat on him and threw stones. Trump would be kept in a three by three by three bamboo cage in the center of town.

    Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez complained in an interview published Monday that Democrats nationwide can cultivate “too big of a tent,” asserting that she and her party’s 2020 frontrunner, former Vice President Joe Biden, would be in different political parties in any other nation.

    Asked for a profile by New York Magazine about what role she might play as a member of Congress should Biden capture the White House, the freshman House Democrat from New York responded with a groan.

    “Oh God,” she said. “In any other country, Joe Biden and I would not be in the same party, but in America, we are.”

    I don’t wanna wait my turn. Why can’t we purge the unbelievers, and seize control of the government?

    • Rebel Scum

      “Tolerance and inclusion.”

      • Fourscore

        “In any other country, Joe Biden and I would not be in the same party, ”

        She still has that same option, AFAIK

    • Pat

      “Oh God,” she said. “In any other country, Joe Biden and I would not be in the same party, but in America, we are.”

      If America worked like a parliamentary country you’d be a member of a fringe minority party incapable of marshaling the resources to get you elected local dog catcher, let alone installed into a federal office. Considering you were underqualified for your prior job as a waitress, maybe don’t bite the hand that’s shoveling checks into your pocket you mindless cunt.

    • leon

      She’s not wrong. Americas Two Parties have long been a coalition of interests aligned on Left/Right spectra. The Upheaval of the last 4 years or so in both parties has been because of shifts in the coalitions.

      • Gadfly

        True, but there’s really not as much difference between the US system and most other systems as far as results. In the US the coalitions form before the election, while countries with more parties see the coalitions form afterwards. In all systems, those who stand outside the two grand coalitions count for little more than voices in the wilderness (except in the rare circumstance where no coalition can hold a majority).

    • sloopyinca

      Is there a chance she loses her seat? Or Tlaib or Omar? I haven’t followed those three idiots much so I genuinely don’t know.

      • R C Dean

        If NY loses a seat, there is chatter it will be hers, on account of her pissing off the party mandarins so much.

      • robc

        Where is the population loss? Is it upstate or NYC area?

      • UnCivilServant

        It doesn’t matter, they get to redraw the whole map, and getting rid of a downstate district to turn some upstate districts more blue or purple would be worth it to them, especially if it removes an irritant in the process.

      • R C Dean

        Upstate, but I don’t think it matters. The state gets X number of Reps based on its population. How the districts are drawn is up to the state.

        In all probability, the new districts will get drawn to dilute a suburban/upstate Republican voter bloc or two to flip a seat or two. I suspect getting rid of Ocasio-Cortez’s district is secondary, but not undesired.

      • robc

        The districts have to be “equal size” (some margin for error), so if the population loss is upstate, the district loss will be upstate. They would still be able to district her out, as borders will move all over.

      • UnCivilServant

        Robc, let me introduce you to a little thing called ‘Gerrymandering’. Cutting pieces of downstate into little slices to graft to suburban districts and redrawing all the lines is more likely than just fudging enough lines to fit the new numbers. It could even get them more safe blue seats than they had before.

      • robc

        I am well aware of gerrymandering, which is why I said they could still district her out. But if the population falls to zero in Buffalo (using a crazy example), gerrymandering aint going to create a Buffalo district.

      • R C Dean

        so if the population loss is upstate, the district loss will be upstate.

        I don’t think so. Every upstate incumbent could still have his/her district, and every downstate incumbent except one could still have his/her district. The district that is eliminated would be downstate, effectively.

      • UnCivilServant

        Zero people buffalo would be included in three or four stripey districts out as far as Syracuse, and the graveyard vote from the Falls would make those very dependable strongholds.

      • Rhywun

        There’s a new process for this census. Some sort of “non-partisan” effort – we’ll see how it actually turns out.

      • Rhywun
      • UnCivilServant

        I doubt it will actually by ‘nonpartisan’

      • The Last American Hero

        Michigan will likely lose a seat next time, so maybe Talib would get the boot.

      • wdalasio

        I think she’ll keep her seat this time around. I think the party party mandarins are keeping her around as the sacrificial goat if they lose the House next year. They did a lot of work positioning themselves vis-a-vis the Donald. And she’s put a lot of that work in jeopardy. If that plays out, they’re going to end her political career to the extent of making her a punchline.

    • Shpip

      P. J. O’Rourke had a similar bit about the 1988 Democratic party in Parliament of Whores. Noting that Jesse Jackson had said that the Dems needed both a left wing and a right wing to fly, O’Rourke joked that a bird with Lloyd Bentsen on its right wing and Jesse Jackson on its left would be the size of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. Watch out when it flies overhead.

      That being said, are there any conservative Democrats left, even in the rural South? I figured they were all either (a) purged from the party, or (b) lost their seats when they held their noses and voted for Obamacare.

      • Gadfly

        That being said, are there any conservative Democrats left, even in the rural South?

        AFAIK the only Dems with any conservative leanings (I don’t think there are any that are conservative outright anymore) are actually in the midwest, not the south. I think all of the conservative democrats in the south have been replaced by republicans, having been dragged down by the national party (i.e. the reverse of what has happened to the liberal republicans in the west coast and northeast).

    • Fourscore

      Fourscore hardest hit. That’s the county I live in, have to deal with the inhabitants of those buildings. If the only thing the local government did was spend a little extra on snow plowing that would be a blessing.

      • robc

        He has lots of other issues with your local government, but this one is just in his wheelhouse.

      • robc

        And is a universal problem, not just county specific.

    • Pope Jimbo

      How would you be able to add bike lanes later if you narrowed the lanes?

    • pistoffnick

      I’ll take the extra foot.

      There are several streets in my town where the grader hasn’t plowed clean to the curb. Then people park their cars further toward the center of the street. A 2 lane street with ample parking on both side during the summer becomes 1-1/2 lane street in the winter (especially when the college kids can’t remember to park their cars on the opposite side of the street starting Sunday evening).

      • robc

        How wide would the street be if it was paid (including maintenance and snow removal) for entirely by the local Property Owners Association? That is the right size. I could see some upscale neighborhoods paying for effectively 4 lanes, but most places would be “barely room to pass” in the summer.

      • pistoffnick

        When I had my driveway repaved, I widened it to 20 feet. I paid the extra because it was worth it to me, even though I now feel obligated to shovel the snow off of all of it.

      • R C Dean

        A gravel driveway is much, much harder to keep clear of snow and ice. I had a long gravel driveway in Wisconsin that was a nightmare in the winter. When we paved it, it was a huge improvement, because I could shovel/blow all the snow off, and because the sun on the blacktop would get rid of ice. With the gravel driveway, there were stretches where we had a solid half inch of perfectly clear and slick ice on it. The cost of de-icing it was . . . formidable.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        [Citation needed]
        Most planned communities, exactly those that are created by something like a property owners association, have exceptionally wide streets. These are the places where investors by land (usually old farms), plan out every house, street, sidewalk, etc, and then sell them off. They internalize every cost and realize every reward.

        And they make very, very broad streets, very broad roads, and normal-sized sidewalks.

      • Gadfly

        This is a good point. Broad streets and sidewalks are nice to use, so they will be attractive to the people paying for them. In residential areas, the only maintenance costs should be weather related, as streets get most of their wear and tear from weather and semis, not personal vehicles, so might as well build a nice set while you are at it.

    • Gadfly

      FTA:

      For a traffic engineer, to be conservative in your design is to spend extra money building capacity you don’t really need. For most of the rest of society, being conservative would mean the opposite: saving money by not building capacity unless you really need it.

      I will quibble with this point by saying it needs to come with some disclaimers. In any area that is growing, it is absolutely a better (and more conservative) practice to spend that extra money while you are building the street to give it some extra capacity. The extra capacity will mean that street will be good for longer, saving money in the long-run. The overhead costs of a road project are enormous, so it is far cheaper to add extra capacity in a project than to risk having to come back later and do another project.

  31. PieInTheSky

    Vita Radium Suppositories (ca.1930)

    Produced by the Home Products Company of Denver, Colorado, these suppositories were guaranteed to contain real radium.

    https://www.orau.org/ptp/collection/quackcures/radsup.htm

    Weak Discouraged Men!

    Now Bubble Over with Joyous Vitality

    Through the Use of

    Glands and Radium

    “If YOU are showing signs of “slowing up” in your actions and duties, perhaps long before you should – if you have begun to lose your charm, your personality, your normal manly vigor – certainly you want to stage a “comeback.” The man who has lost these precious attributes of youth knows how to appreciate their value. He realizes that happiness depends on his ability to perform the duties of a REAL MAN. Sweet, glorious pleasures of life. Nature intended that you should enjoy them.”

    “Now is the time to act! Today! RIGHT NOW! Tomorrow may never come.”

    • UnCivilServant

      It improved their inner glow.

      • leon

        Hmmm, So you’re an emacs guy?

      • R C Dean

        We do treat prostate cancer with radiation. So maybe this actually helped on that front?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        My layperson understanding is that the radiation has to be tightly controlled to avoid spinning up new cancers elsewhere.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Cancer cells, although they divide more quickly and uncontrollably than normal cells, tend to be less resilient to poisons (chemo), radiation, and other things that normally kill you in large doses.

        Functionally, cancer treatment is usually trying to not completely kill the host while killing the cancer cells.

        Radiation can cause mutations which can cause cancer. But it is never a guarantee.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        An example that capitalism isn’t perfect.

        I know you don’t disagree with me, but I have to respond.

        No one should ever claim that capitalism is perfect. It is merely the least worst solution to the problem of allocation of capital.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This.

        Compare and contrast to the result of the anthrax vaccine issues Ozy has been documenting.

    • Shpip

      American insurance companies have long put monitors in customers’ cars to check their driving habits.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Ocasio-Cortez also offered criticism in Monday’s story for congressional Democrats, accusing her party’s lawmakers of too often working to appease the interests of their most conservative members. She has frequently broken with House Democratic leadership since assuming office in January 2019.

    “For so long, when I first got in, people were like, ‘Oh, are you going to basically be a tea party of the left?’ And what people don’t realize is that there is a tea party of the left, but it’s on the right edges, the most conservative parts of the Democratic Party,” Ocasio-Cortez said.

    “So the Democratic Party has a role to play in this problem, and it’s like we’re not allowed to talk about it. We’re not allowed to talk about anything wrong the Democratic Party does,” she continued. “I think I have created more room for dissent, and we’re learning to stretch our wings a little bit on the left.”

    Ocasio-Cortez said the Congressional Progressive Caucus, of which she is a member, should expel lawmakers without adequate liberal bona fides, charging that “they let anybody who the cat dragged in call themselves a progressive. There’s no standard.”

    The broader Democratic Party, as well, “can be too big of a tent,” she said.

    What this country needs is a version of the Green Party, so retards like Gulag Barbie so can in the back and indulge themselves in popcorn-throwing and ineffectual sniping about doctrinal purity.

    • leon

      Like the LP?

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Pol Twat already wants to begin the purges. Too funny

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Like the LP?

    Maybe.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Is there a chance she loses her seat? Or Tlaib or Omar? I haven’t followed those three idiots much so I genuinely don’t know.

    I have seen a couple of stories saying there is some dissatisfaction with the quality of her “constituent services”. Like she’s too bust prancing around on the national stage, basking in the adoration of people who don’t live anywhere near her district, to actually have an office on Long Island.

    *I think her district is on LI.

  35. Rebel Scum

    Nazi Pelosi has lost the plot.

    Pelosi’s letter begins with the declaration that President Donald Trump’s airstrike last week targeting Iranian General Qasem Suleimani, leader of the terrorist Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps (IGRC) Quds Force, responsible for the murders of hundreds of Americans and for recent attacks on the U.S. embassy in Baghdad, was “provocative and disproportionate,” terms suggesting the attack was illegal under international law and could constitute a war crime.

    • leon

      Please, Please, Please impeach him for war crimes.

    • Pat

      What with the senility and all she probably doesn’t remember that blank check AUMF against “terrorists” she voted for in 2001.

      • AlexinCT

        ORANGE MAN BAD!

  36. Lackadaisical

    . And speaking of Hollywood, at least one person on the inside gets it. God, I love that guy sometimes.

    And Ricky was never heard from again…

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1110656

    Neither, it isn’t like they were Canadian geese. Animal cruelty shouldn’t even be a law, unless it applied to animals being cruel to people.

  37. wdalasio

    I’m going to make a prediction that I’m sure will have a lot of people ready to set the men in white coats with butterfly nets after me. By the end of 2020, I would not be at all surprised to see a thawing of U.S.-Iranian relations, or at least some sort of agreed-upon accommodation. To see why, consider the nationalism of Trumpism. It’s very much a rejection of the messiahnism that has characterized the recent foreign policy consensus. It recognizes that much of the world kind of sucks and decides, that’s not our problem and we can deal with the bastards in charge of these places if its good for America. It’s certainly not above saber-rattling. But, the saber-rattling is of the “Don’t be a pain in our ass or we’ll kick yours” variety. And it’s accompanied by a tacit suggestion that, if the target is willing to “get with the program”, the U.S. is perfectly willing to do business. Anyone remember North Korea in 2017? A lot of people were worried Trump was going to get us in a nuclear war there, too. Right up until they were messing themselves that he was being to friendly to Kim.

    Counterintuitively, burying Soleimani actually makes such an outcome more possible. Soleimani was a powerbase within the Iranian regime that derived its power by being a thorn in the side of “The Great Satan”. As long as he was alive, an accommodation was out of the question, because he would have to quash it to maintain his own power. If Trump can resist the impetus to escalate from the inevitable Iranian response, both sides might be in the space to make a deal.

    • leon

      well, that’s like, Your Opinion, not an Intelligence assesment…/ Adam Schiff

    • PieInTheSky

      Death to America

    • Pat

      I’m still confused as to how war with Iran is going to touch off WWIII considering that we have been assured dozens of times that Iran does not have any nuclear or chemical weapons programs and is a seeker of peace.

    • Rebel Scum

      No, that can’t be correct because Orange Man Bad.

    • sloopyinca

      None of that would shock me, unless Team Blue operatives continue to stoke anti-Americanism by being so vocal in their support of the terrorist piece of shit who just got sent to hell.
      Unfortunately, I expect that behavior to continue.

    • Drake

      I can see that. If Trump gets another term, I bet relations with Russia get a lot warmer too. He’s already figured out that the Western Europeans are worthless and China is the world’s biggest threat. Pretty short logical step from there to realize that teaming up with Russia to contain the Red Chinese is a good idea.

      • Fourscore

        Digs out copy of worn out “1984”. Yep, says so right there.

        “You da man, George!”

    • R C Dean

      “By the end of 2020, I would not be at all surprised to see a thawing of U.S.-Iranian relations, or at least some sort of agreed-upon accommodation. ”

      #metoo. Iran is extended to its limits in its war against, well, lots of people. Its economy is cratering. It has a major internal dissension thing. They’ve got little to escalate with, and a lot of reasons to not want the US to escalate. It would not be hard for the US to start stripping Iran of its major military capital assets, although doing so would require attacks inside Iran.

      If I was Trump, I’d issue a statement that Iranian and Iranian-proxy assets outside Iran are legitimate targets under the AUMF, and require no further authorization to strike at my discretion. I would also say that striking military targets inside Iran would require further Congressional authorization, but that I would seek a declaration of war if necessary.

    • Raven Nation

      “If Trump can resist the impetus to escalate from the inevitable Iranian response, both sides might be in the space to make a deal.”

      This may be the key conditional: can he resist the warmongers inside his administration? Will he think he needs to appease them in order to get the GOP base out in numbers in 2020?

      • tarran

        To me the evidence indicates that Trump doesn’t want war with Iran and is taking steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen.

        If he wanted war, he’d have gone for a slight escalation, that in turn would have prompted an increased Iranian response, etc until there was a consensus that it was the Iranians who wanted war and that the U.S. defensively needed to attack them. It depends on a gradual increase so that the Iranians don’t think the U.S. wants war, but merely to humiliate them (thus ensuring they will respond in revenge). The Iranians don’t want an all out war because they would lose, get killed and the survivors would likely be deposed at the very end.

        This massive escalation is designed to frighten the Iranians into realizing that continued escalation will lead to war and to put them in the mindset of trying to figure out how to not get bombed and then deposed. It also will harden hearts domestically against going to war. Notice that nobody is calling him ‘weak’ at home anymore. Rather than trying to goad him into violence they’re trying to hold him back. So now the nomenklatura will think that war with Iran is bad rather than good, and barring the Iranians doing something really stupid (which is completely possible) it’s not going to happen.

        And best of all, the fiction of the Iran Nuclear deal is gone. The Europeans can either continue to abide by a pointless deal that Iran just announced was torn to pieces, or start making decisions based on the new reality.

  38. Sensei

    So sloopyinca is a secret anime otaku. Now we know.

    Today’s post on the front page is from My Little Monster.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Streetz:

    We have miles and miles of streets where we have casually added an extra foot of lane width here or an extra foot there. This is tens of thousands of dollars of recurring expense, every winter, forever. And it’s all because we’ve casually over-designed our streets, adding unnecessary—and often harmful—capacity. Why?

    Because a curvy street just barely wide enough for two pickup trucks to clear each other with cars parked at the curb on both sides of the street is fucking retarded “design” you moron. You know, streets built according to the wishes of urban planners who don’t actually have to drive on them. Maybe we should go back to paving the streets with cobblestones, too.

    That guy can get bent.

    • leon

      I’m not going to say which system is better or worse. But here’s a thought, when I shop at amazon, i don’t worry about the costs inefficiencies in their logistics bring to Amazon. Now what is different about Amazon and roads that seems to make us worry about how inefficiently they are maintained?

      • robc

        In places where there are private streets paid for by the residents alone, they are narrow and often gravel.

        Local gov takes over and it gets paved and widened.

        Amazing, isnt it.

      • Fourscore

        “they are narrow and often gravel”

        Is this a plus or a minus? I live on a narrow, gravel road by choice. The narrow keeps speed lower and fewer accidents caused by speed/ deer. The road belongs to the government but what is often call Right-of-way belongs to me.

      • robc

        Plus, I think.

        If I were dictator of roadz, I would semi-privatize the streets..turn over maintenance to local *OAs to handle themselves. There might be some restrictions (hence the semi), at least in phase 1. Maybe down the line we would get rid of those.

        It would be interesting to see if the Big Box stores **REALLY** want to be paying for the kind of streets they are often on. I don’t think they do.

        And I would toll all the roads.

    • robc

      As a street, no it isnt.

      As a road, that would be a horrible design.

      I am of the 25 and below or 55 and above design mode. Streets should always be low speed…cobblestone isnt really a problem.

      Roads should be high speed…wide enough to safely support high speed traffic.

      In fact, design should be based on the speed expected. If I feel comfortable driving 35 on a 25 mph street, it is misdesigned.

      • UnCivilServant

        You may be the only person here who doesn’t regard street and road as synonyms.

      • robc

        Yes, and i used to. In casual conversation, I still do, but there is a good reason to distinguish in these discussions.

      • UnCivilServant

        You also have a long track record of being wrong on street planning and use.

      • robc

        Your inability to navigate a roundabout does not make me wrong.

      • UnCivilServant

        Your inability to drive at moderate speeds made you wrong before you started thinking ever-clogged circles were of any utility.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s not misdesigned — it’s correctly designed to maximize revenue.

      • Jarflax

        The picture on the article is a road. The discussion sure looks to me as if it is about roads. Streets as you use the term don’t link neighborhoods and districts and it makes sense for them to be 25 mph because they are the beginning or end of a trip, not the main drive so the driving efficiency is distantly secondary to resident safety. You make this argument periodically but it ignores the fact that in virtually every existing city the status quo is not capable of being changed into pure roads/streets. In most cities there are extensive areas where the link roads between numerous neighborhoods are lined with houses. They are nonetheless roads.

        Yes, if one were designing a city purely on the basis of road efficiency it would have highways as trunks, roads as limbs and streets as the final twigs and branches, but we don’t generally design cities, they evolve, and other considerations enter into that evolution.

      • robc

        I consider highways to be roads. And rural roads/highways often have houses/businesses on them so have end points on them but are still primarily about high speed traffic.

        There can be a fine line between them, I admit, especially between neighborhoods, but that isnt the case in this one. Looking at a map, North 4th street is 6 clocks long and connects nothing to nothing. It is a neighborhood street, not a road. It looks residential for 5 of the 6 blocks.

        It looks like the article may be referring to South 4th Street (although it says north, google maps may be wrong) which is only 2 blocks long and is clearly not a road. It is a business/governmental street — mostly with parking lots on the west side and a few businesses on the east.

  40. prolefeed

    Did Pelosi ever send the articles of impeachment to the Senate, or have they decided they virtue signaled enough and don’t want anyone in the Senate publicly scrutinizing said articles?

    • AlexinCT

      Sending it to the senate, especially without first handicapping them to follow the dnc’s wishes to just have a circus event with no semblance of real legal process, is a nogo. This thing is all about keeping the idiots that think the results of the 2016 election can be reversed, by a coup of all things so these idiots no longer have to feel so butthurt they are such stupid fucks, is all about campaign cash. If their “we will get orange man out of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave” campaign ends up dead, the money flow to the dnc coffers, dies.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        At some point, the narrative will flip to preventing the same thing from happening in 2020. Maybe it already has now that impeachment has been voted on.

    • R C Dean

      Did Pelosi ever send the articles of impeachment to the Senate,

      No, although I am unaware of any requirement for some kind of formal transmission. If the Senate takes them up, holds a trial or whatever, and disposes of them, the Senate’s action is final. The Senate has the sole power to try impeachments. That means procedural games the House may try to play once they have voted for impeachment are irrelevant.

      • robc

        Can she tweet it to them?

  41. Rebel Scum

    Former president murder-drone you are wanted at the courtesy phone.

    “This tweet threatens to break several laws. First, the President cannot notify Congress under the War Powers Resolution by tweet,” she said.

    The professor at Yale Law School and former special counsel at the Department of Defense went on to break down other violations she saw, including Trump’s assertion that legal notice is not required.

    “That’s not true. Any time the president involves the armed forces into ‘hostilities,’ he must — at a minimum — notify Congress within 48 hours,” she tweeted.

    Professor Anthony Arend of Georgetown University told CNN that the President’s use of Twitter for such a message was “ridiculous.”

    “This is not something that any lawyer in my view condoned,” he quipped.

    • Not Adahn

      I imagine most lawyers are out of her view, unless she’s on top of a mountain with a really good telescope.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Professor Anthony Arend of Georgetown University told CNN that the President’s use of Twitter for such a message was “ridiculous.”

    He should have written the notification on parchment, with a goose quill pen, and had it delivered to Congress by a footman in a dogcart.

    • UnCivilServant

      Make sure the footman was wearing a tricorne hat and tailcoat as betfitting such a role.

  43. Rebel Scum

    Shorter: “Orange Man Bad”

    “I’m hoping that the administration has a clear justification for this step, but I’m not confident they do,” Coons told host Kasie Hunt. “The Trump administration has had an uneven relationship with the truth when it comes to the testimony we have heard over the last few weeks before the House Intelligence Committee and in front of Congress about the remarkable steps taken by the administration to dangle badly needed military aid in front of a vulnerable partner, Ukraine, that has faced aggression from Russia.”

    He added, “It’s concerning that the Trump administration may have allowed political concerns to influence this decision. That’s something we’ll have to weigh in the classified briefing in the week ahead. Frankly, more than anything, Kasie, the Trump administration owes the American people a clear strategy and a justification for why they would escalate our tensions with Iran.”

    I mean, next he’ll be toppling regimes in north Africa resulting in a return of open air slave trade or something.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      the Trump administration owes the American people a clear strategy

      Been waiting for that for twenty years.

    • Gadfly

      …the Trump administration owes the American people a clear strategy and a justification for why they would escalate our tensions with Iran.”

      Is it really an escalation when the guy killed was leading a group that is actively involved in conflict with the US? I don’t think so.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Make sure the footman was wearing a tricorne hat and tailcoat as betfitting such a role.

    But of course. Wearing knee length breeches and stockings, as well.

    Viz

  45. The Late P Brooks

    No one should ever claim that capitalism is perfect. It is merely the least worst solution to the problem of allocation of capital.

    Millions (if not billions) of interlocking decisions and transactions. A few of them are inevitably going to get away from you.

    Still better than any of the alternatives.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      By a long shot.

      The utopians would kill us all.

  46. Rebel Scum

    Known terrorist killed without evidence of wrongdoing, apparently…

    The White House claims that this week’s assassination of a top Iranian general, Qasem Soleimani, was necessary to prevent an imminent attack against Americans in Iraq and around the wider Middle East.

    Soleimani “was actively plotting in the region to take actions, the big action as he described it, that would have put dozens if not hundreds of American lives at risk,” Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Friday. “We know it was imminent.”

    But 48 hours after the drone attack that claimed Soleimani’s life, that narrative is starting to unravel amid reports that Trump took the unprecedented step of killing a foreign leader based on thin evidence of a threat and with an eye towards domestic politics. Indeed, the administration has so far provided little evidence that killing Soleimani has made Americans objectively safer—while the strike has clearly worsened the status quo by raising the likelihood of Iranian reprisals and the prospect for open war.

    Citing two unnamed U.S. intelligence officials who have been briefed on the Soleimani assassination, Rukmini Callimachi, the New York Times’ top correspondent covering ISIS and the War on Terror, reports that “evidence suggesting there was to be an imminent attack on American targets is ‘razor thin'” and that the Trump administration made an “illogical leap” in deciding to kill Soleimani.

    • R C Dean

      two unnamed U.S. intelligence officials who have been briefed on the Soleimani assassination

      Christ, those assholes again?

      “evidence suggesting there was to be an imminent attack on American targets is ‘razor thin’”

      I suppose the leader of the Quds forces was just in Iran for a little vacay? Besides, why isn’t retaliation for an attack on our embassy a perfectly cromulent reason to put him down?

      • AlexinCT

        Because a democrat can’t take credit for killing a guy that needed to be killed? Shit, if orange man gets credit, it will undermine the effort of his opponents to handicap him in the coming election…

      • Gustave Lytton

        And the other guy with Soleimani was convicted by the Kuwaitis of the 1983 US Embassy bombing there.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “Citing two unnamed U.S. intelligence officials who have been briefed on the Soleimani assassination, Rukmini Callimachi, the New York Times’ top correspondent covering ISIS and the War on Terror, reports that “evidence suggesting there was to be an imminent attack on American targets is ‘razor thin’” and that the Trump administration made an “illogical leap” in deciding to kill Soleimani.”

      Regardless of the legitimacy or illegitimacy of the action taken by Trump, how big of chumps are the people at Reason to go with the ‘ol “two unnamed sources” and “according to the NYT” still? These bitches fell for this same game with Kavanaugh and the more retarded brand of John Bircherism that they embraced because their white liberal neighbors demanded that they believe in their psychosis.

      The alternative that wasn’t.

      • UnCivilServant

        I assume everything printed in the NYT to be libel until proven otherwise.

      • AlexinCT

        Plain made up bullshit to serve a specific party’s agenda.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Yeah, killing that guy doesn’t make me feel safer at all. I remember the good old days when our Dear Leader would kill 16 year-old Americans and I could sleep like a baby knowing that major terrorist plots had been foiled.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And Trump got the sister.

  47. R C Dean

    So, was Trump’s tweet on the War Powers Act illegal?

    The relevant section:

    the President shall submit within 48 hours to the Speaker of the House of Representatives and to the President pro tempore of the Senate a report, in writing, setting forth—

    (A) the circumstances necessitating the introduction of United States Armed Forces;

    (B) the constitutional and legislative authority under which such introduction took place; and

    (C) the estimated scope and duration of the hostilities or involvement.

    Probably a little light on the required elements, but a tweet is a writing, so with a few blanks filled in, why not?

    Also not clear to me that a couple of Hellfires in Iran triggers the reporting requirement:

    In the absence of a declaration of war, in any case in which United States Armed Forces are introduced—

    (1) into hostilities or into situations where imminent involvement in hostilities is clearly indicated by the circumstances;

    (2) into the territory, airspace or waters of a foreign nation, while equipped for combat, except for deployments which relate solely to supply, replacement, repair, or training of such forces; or

    (3) in numbers which substantially enlarge United States Armed Forces equipped for combat already located in a foreign nation;

    Hard to say that our military was “introduced” into Iran for any of these purposes when Soleimani got greased.

    • Yusef in Space......

      Iraq, we killed him in Iraq, very different than Iran…

    • Drake

      He was in Iraq – where Congress gave the President an unlimited terrorist hunting license and never revoked it.

      • AlexinCT

        They plan to do so now retroactively in the house….

      • Drake

        Which will still be meaningless.

      • R C Dean

        Typo on my part – meant Iraq.

    • Sensei

      Top messed up link should be yamato nadeshiko stereotype!.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s a man, baby.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    I am of the 25 and below or 55 and above design mode. Streets should always be low speed…cobblestone isnt really a problem.

    Urban designer fantasies aside, people still have to go to the grocery store (and to work, and school, and…). Making “streets” intentionally narrow and pointlessly hazardous won’t change that.

    • robc

      They are far less hazardous at 25 than at 35. And re: your point below (and this is just me, not any urban design fantasy), I would get rid of street parking. If you want to provide parking for your customers (and you probably want to), provide it on your own damn land.

      • UnCivilServant

        So you would go into all those existing neghborhoods, where there is no room for garages or lots and tell them they have to start knocking down houses or give up their cars?

      • robc

        If they have room for street parking now, I would sell off that space. They would then still have it for parking.

        I was referring more to business district* parking with free and/or metered spaces.

        *get rid of zoning and those dont exist.

      • robc

        Or, another way, it aint the governments job to provide you with parking. But there would be more room for parking on private land if roads were narrowed.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am against streetside parking for other reasons – and in favor of widening roads where possible.

      • Rhywun

        FWIW street parking in NYC was illegal until (I think) the 50s. They were not designed for it, which is why every side street is one way with two lanes for parking and one for driving, even after in many cases making the sidewalks narrower.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    And- making your downtown streets so narrow people can’t get in and out of their cars at the curb without risking life and limb is not “smart” or “friendly”design. Trying to make driving unpleasant and obnoxious in order to force people to walk is stupid and pointless. The horseless carriage is here to stay.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      The reality is that making downtown areas of a city inconvenient for cars has less to do with appeasing Gaia and more to do with keeping out undesirables.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Indeed, the administration has so far provided little evidence that killing Soleimani has made Americans objectively safer—while the strike has clearly worsened the status quo by raising the likelihood of Iranian reprisals and the prospect for open war.

    Now do the Patriot Act and the TSA.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      If “Iranian” was replaced with “Russian”, Reason would be creaming with joy, as their white liberal neighbors would demand they respond.

    • leon

      It’s funny. Congress gives the President an open ended AUMF to hunt terrorists. It also gives the exectuive the ability to desginate who counts as a terrorist. Doesn’t balk at President having a secret proscription list.

      Then One comes along and declares the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist org and kills one of it’s commanders in Iraq. Now they are upset, but still not talking about how all the above might have been a bad idea….

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They want that power for themselves when Trump’s gone so this will never be scaled back.

      • Rhywun

        ^this

    • Rebel Scum

      objectively safer

      Irrelevant. He was a terrorist on the US’s hit-list. Now he is gone.

    • leon

      Also…. All these “anonymous intelligence officials think this was a bad move” beggars the belief that somehow Trump had solely gathered all the Intel on Soleimani and decided that we had 1. An opportunity, 2. That he was a good target. Trump didn’t do this on his own. It was the precious CIA and Military Intelligence apparatus that came up with and presented this to Trump, the same one that the Media and congress have been sucking the cock so hard that they can feel the democracy going down their throat.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I get pissed at the traditionalists take that “leaders are off limits to retaliation”. Fuck that, leaders should be the first on the list of who gets offed. Why should some lance coolie who is stuck guarding some military installation late at night OK to blow up, but not the leader of a bunch of terrorists?

      If one of our high level spooks sneaks into a foreign country to organize the storming of an Iranian embassy and then gets blowed up, well that is on him. The Iranians shouldn’t have to let him off the hook because he’s too big to fail.

      • leon

        Dude, do you even Marvel/Star Wars/ Fantasy?

        You can kill hundreds, if not thousands of conscripted jerks, but if you think about killing the villain, you might loose your humanity!

      • Raven Nation

        That approach seems to go in historical cycles. During the Revolutionary War, one of the criticisms of the colonial militia was that their snipers targeted British officers which was against the pale. At the Congress of Vienna, the victors went out of their way to send Napoleon into exile.

        During WWII, the US quite happily took out Yamamoto.

        I realize I’m mixing military and civilian leaders but I think there is some validity to the point.

        And, I don’t care either way, I just think it’s interesting how things go through cycles.

      • R C Dean

        You list only military leaders. I’m not sure we (or our Revolutionary forebears) have ever targeted civilian leaders. And we didn’t when we killed Soleimani.

        I mean, sure, we bombed the crap out of Berlin, Tokyo, etc. and probably wouldn’t have shed any tears if we got some top civilian honchos, but that’s not why we did it. The first round of bombing in the Iraq war targeted government buildings, so this doesn’t seem to be a hard and fast rule.

      • Raven Nation

        “You list only military leaders.”

        I provisionally concede that point. Napoleon, however, is interesting. He was both France’s military leader and head of government in 1814-1815. And he’d been presented to the British public as a true evil. But he wasn’t even put on trial for his life, just shipped off to exile. Same for Wilhelm II.

        And, I was not as clear in response to His Holiness’s post as I should have been. I wasn’t necessarily agreeing or disagreeing, just riffing off it.

      • Gadfly

        The “no leaders” thing is really just a gentleman’s agreement between leaders who don’t want to die. There’s nothing more to it than that. It makes logical sense to cut of the head of the snake, unless you are also a head that doesn’t want to be on the chopping block.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Kill as many of those peasants as you want, but take noblemen captive – we’ll buy them back after the battle.”

      • Gadfly

        Yes, if you are speaking in medieval terms there was also a major financial incentive not to kill the leaders, since ransom was one of the major spoils of war. But as taking spoils has fallen out of favor, that reason no longer exists.

        Also I guess another historic reason for not killing leaders was that you could add them to your trophy collection once you defeated their army. Nothing speaks to a warlord’s power more than having a stable-full of defeated leaders that can be paraded about. But that too has become unfashionable.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, my throne of skulls is gauche?

      • Mojeaux

        as taking spoils has fallen out of favor

        I loved this movie.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    So you would go into all those existing neghborhoods, where there is no room for garages or lots and tell them they have to start knocking down houses or give up their cars?

    Those dumb hillbillies should be living in loft co-ops and riding their folding electrocycles down to the bodega for their goat cheese and artisanal olives.

    • robc

      Nice strawman. I think you have me confused with someone else.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        With me, I love artisanal olives.

      • UnCivilServant

        At best, olives are only fit for making oil.

        If I remember correctly, adding salt to olive oil helps it burn with less smoke, which helped with tasks like tomb painting.

      • leon

        What if he puts on his gloves of unreachable grabbing?

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, if he wants a box of disposable nitrile gloves up his muppet backside, I’ll just order another box. They’re like $0.10/glove

      • pistoffnick

        Me too. I like the jalapeno or bleu cheese stuffed olives

      • pistoffnick

        Though I use my 10 miler per gallon pickup truck to fetch them.

      • Sean

        Olives are delicious.

        Especially in martinis.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    The reality is that making downtown areas of a city inconvenient for cars has less to do with appeasing Gaia and more to do with keeping out undesirables.

    ?????

    Bums don’t have cars. Not that run, anyway.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      I don’t think it’s coincidental that as American urban downtowns have become wealthier there is a big push to make it more difficult to drive to downtown.

      • UnCivilServant

        Shit, how poor was Albany before if this downtown counts as ‘wealthier’?

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I was specifically referring to Rochester and Decatur, IL, obviously

      • leon

        It’s not like they can gate it off.

    • R C Dean

      Undesirables = people who shop at Walmart.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Or, another way, it aint the governments job to provide you with parking. But there would be more room for parking on private land if roads were narrowed.

    I park on the sidewalk.

    • leon

      Coward. I only park on playgrounds.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It ain’t cowardice. He just doesn’t want to be mistaken for OMWC.

      • Jarflax

        The blood of the innocents keeps your tires young?

  54. The Late P Brooks

    To me the evidence indicates that Trump doesn’t want war with Iran and is taking steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen.

    If he wanted war, he’d have gone for a slight escalation, that in turn would have prompted an increased Iranian response, etc until there was a consensus that it was the Iranians who wanted war and that the U.S. defensively needed to attack them. It depends on a gradual increase so that the Iranians don’t think the U.S. wants war, but merely to humiliate them (thus ensuring they will respond in revenge). The Iranians don’t want an all out war because they would lose, get killed and the survivors would likely be deposed at the very end.

    This massive escalation is designed to frighten the Iranians into realizing that continued escalation will lead to war

    I was thinking about this, the other day. Trump really *likes* being President. You get to do a lot of fun stuff, as President. Being a wartime President wouldn’t be fun. It would suck.

    Which is a big part of why “those people’ hate him so. Being President isn’t supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be difficult, somber and SERIOUS. It’s supposed to be a moral burden, like the world’s biggest, heaviest hair shirt. You’re supposed to be calling bereaved mothers and widows, not shambling around chasing golf balls.

    • R C Dean

      The pearl-clutching over this happening while Trump was playing golf is amusing, to the say the least. I don’t know if he intended it as a message, but if so, it was a good one: “Greasing your top terrorist is such a small thing to me that I wouldn’t even reschedule a tee-time for it. I don’t need photo ops of me in the situation room hanging on every moment of terrorist-killing. I’ve got people for that.”

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Coward. I only park on playgrounds.

    The playground is too damn far from the liquor store. I ain’t no endurance athaleet.

  56. Pope Jimbo

    The problem with urban designers is that their go-to solution is always to try to make people’s preferred choice more painful and less convenient. In my dream world, they should be coming up with ways to make their preferred choices better. Then people would voluntarily ride mass transit.

    “I can’t run fast, so instead of training and getting better, I will just mandate that my competition has to wear 200lb of weights. Why does no one like me?”

    • robc

      No, the problem is “urban design”.

      Stop designing, stop planning, get rid of zoning, and let cities evolve.

      The question is to how to undo the damage already done.

      • UnCivilServant

        You don’t – because that would require the very planning you want to abolish.

        End the central planning, and treat the current layout like a scar. The problems will be ironed out with time.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You are right.

        Ford closed a plant here in St. Paul and since then there has been story after story about what the city is planning on doing with that parcel of land. Not that they were going to buy it and develop Little Utopia themselves, nope, they were just going to dictate to anyone who bought that land what they could do with it. The city told the developer how much density they could have, how many “affordable” units had to be created, etc, etc.

        If I was a billionaire, I would have been sorely tempted to have bought the land and then just done nothing with it. Just to fuck with the city.

      • UnCivilServant

        The state wanted to sell of half the campus where they’d knocked down old office buildings, but put so many conditions on use that no one bought the land. Given the location, there’s a lot that could be done with that much space, but none of it would satisfy the restrictions the state had. So it’s sitting fallow.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Counterpoint: the problem is the notion of “cities”. Most American urban areas were invented. Ignoring all the land grabs that expanded NYC from Manhattan to all the burrows or all the shady deals that Chicago made to acquire numerous small towns in order to connect with and eventually build O’Hare or the land grab that LA engaged in to take the Valley, there is also the fact that cities in the millions are ungovernable. Break cities apart so that their populations are no greater than 100,000 or so and then allow these communities to decide how they want to design their own towns.

        Zoning is always going to exist and even if you got rid of it, the unspoken rules of where you can and cannot build will remain.

      • UnCivilServant

        Unspoken social rules are fine.

        Rules where they fine you are not.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Unspoken social rules, like “we’re not going to give you a permit if you build over here”? I don’t know what unspoken social rules you are referring to, but the only “unspoken rules” that I am aware of is stuff like “buy tickets for this aldermanic fundraiser, otherwise we just might ticket your trucks that are parked partly on the curb”.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve never heard of the second type. I’m talking about the kind of unspoken rule where certain business in more visible spots don’t do as much to draw attention to what they actually sell so the fiction that the youngsters don’t know can be maintained.

        Permits are part of the “spoken rules where they fine you” impropriety anyway, so should be done away with.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Right. But, they won’t. So, I don’t understand how the notion that there shouldn’t be permits somehow excuses away a new more overbearing regulation against car ownership

      • Mojeaux

        See: how the early settlers planned out Salt Lake City

        It’s a grid. It had no street names, just coordinates. Address example:

        400 East 600 North

        Street name EAST means you go EAST from the designated east-west main street to get there.

        Street name NORTH means you go NORTH from designated north-south main street to get there.

        So it is in the NE quadrant made by the intersecting main streets.

        GPS before GPS.

      • grrizzly

        This is the ugliest system I’ve ever seen. I’m in Salt Lake City right now and I don’t like it at all. At least in Manhattan there’s a street or an avenue, here it’s just barbaric.

      • Mojeaux

        I happen to believe it’s because when they started to sprawl, they started curving everything and naming streets and whatnot. The mixed system doesn’t work for me.

        But in any case, I love the system. It’s not pretentious and there are few “chichi” neighborhoods on the grid (except The Avenues, where my aunt lives). I can find my way to any gridded address without needing a map.

      • leon

        It works well, but a lot of it also is that everyone in Utah knows where they are in relation to cardinal directions, which i’ve heard is disconcerting to some people not from the area.

        Where are you at in SLC Grrizzly?

      • Mojeaux

        everyone in Utah knows where they are in relation to cardinal directions

        I didn’t actually learn that till I lived there. I mean, I KNEW, but it would take me a while to figure out which way I was facing. Living in Utah drilled it into my bones.

      • leon

        The mountains help.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cardinal Direction is less well known than Cardinal Sin or Cardinal Law.

      • leon

        It’s a Christian Rock Boy Band.

      • Mojeaux

        The mountains help.

        Absolutely.

      • grrizzly

        I’m staying in DoubleTree Suites.

        I guess my issue that I don’t like that it’s hard to figure out the “street name” and “street number.”
        Also, yesterday I was looking for an ATM, both Google Maps and the Bank website showed an ATM in the same place–but there was nothing there. I had hard time entering the address into the search bar because it required four pieces of information instead of just two in a normal town: 235 Washington St, for example.

        I recalled the same frustration I had ten years ago when I visited SLC for the first time.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    I get pissed at the traditionalists take that “leaders are off limits to retaliation”. Fuck that, leaders should be the first on the list of who gets offed. Why should some lance coolie who is stuck guarding some military installation late at night OK to blow up, but not the leader of a bunch of terrorists?

    If one of our high level spooks sneaks into a foreign country to organize the storming of an Iranian embassy and then gets blowed up, well that is on him. The Iranians shouldn’t have to let him off the hook because he’s too big to fail.

    *rises, applauds enthusiastically*

  58. Mojeaux

    Watching Ricky Gervais’s monologue. Tom Hanks is not amused.

    Who the fuck is applauding? You know they’re all pissed.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Yeah, Gervais was brutal. He definitely will not be invited back.

      I like how they pan to Tim Cook right after he mentioned that Apple has a new show about hope and redemption. And then he went on to say something like “this from a company that runs sweatshops in China”. He was absolutely brutal in the opening.

      • Mojeaux

        The thing about that roast was that HE MEANT EVERY WORD and IT SHOWED.

      • Mojeaux

        And there was a slight whiff of pissed-off-ed-ness.

      • cyto

        Yeah, I definitely read it as a personal statement of indignation against their wokeness. Which gave me much pleasure.

      • Gadfly

        Not only that, but the criticisms had the sting of truth as well. Plus it was funny.

      • Mojeaux

        I think it was more than a sting. It was a battle ax.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, and fuck you, I’m out!”

      • Mojeaux

        It was glorious.

    • leon

      My favorite awards show nonsense is when the Puppet dog got into eminems face. Or when he told Moby that Eminem hates him.

  59. Fourscore

    The roads, the cars, the available land and a thriving middle class are the welcome additions in Suburbia. Until now. The Sprawl! The Sprawl!

    • Pope Jimbo

      The Sprawl in Sunny Minnesoda is especially bad. Unfortunately for Mother Gaia there is no natural terrain that forces people to live in certain areas. Combine a flat prairie with two major interstate hiways and people can pretty much move out anywhere. At least Chicago has Lake Michigan to sort of corral the people there.

      It just ain’t right that people have so much freedom here to live the way they want to!

      How Ya Gonna Keep ’em Down on the Farm Up in the Hi-Rise (After They’ve Seen Paree Suburbia)?

      • Fourscore

        “no natural terrain that forces people to live in certain areas”

        Easy, move Lake Minnetonka east to 494, keep out a lot of the wannabees

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      They have been complaining about “the sprawl” for decades. I firmly believe, though, that if suburbanites become reliable Democratic voters, they will stop complaining about the suburbs. Then we’ll hear all about the lack of public transportation in bumblefuck Iowa and the wrong think that permeates the community.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    The roads, the cars, the available land and a thriving middle class are the welcome additions in Suburbia. Until now.

    Enlightenment comes from impove3rishment and suffering.

    • Fourscore

      Need more self-flagellation, for cleansing the suburbia thinking. Oh wait, not self-flagellation but electing the right people to impose the impove3rishment and stutter, oops, suffering.

  61. cyto

    There was a thread earlier about the woke media not understanding how people might share a funny from the Bee more than their super serious news in the NYT and on CNN.

    For the super woke, let me explain it to you…. here’s a selection of “features” on the Bee right now:

    “John Bolton Can’t Believe He Left White House Just Before War With Iran”

    “Trump Reminds Everyone He Hasn’t Been Impeached All Decade”

    “CNN: ‘Trump Voter Shoots Mentally Ill Man in Church'”

    “Report: Internet Users Who Call For Attacking Other Countries Will Now Be Enlisted In The Military Automatically”

    “California Robber Agrees To Come Back In 10 Days When Victim’s Gun Purchase Has Gone Through”

    That’s a pretty good sample, all from the main page today at noon. 3 slap the right, Two slap the left…. all are funny and carry a little bit of insight.

    Compare and contrast with CNN’s political analysis… a bunch of terribly one-sided talking points. That’s boring. Unless you are a member of the choir, you aren’t sharing that sermon with anyone. The Bee can make you laugh even if you are not a right-christian.

    • Raston Bot

      damn the Bee is gold.

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      The future is awesome.

    • Akira

      Damn dude, only $389 for the red dot version?? Impulse-buying guns is getting a lot more affordable…