Saturday evening links of Independence

by | Jul 4, 2020 | Daily Links | 381 comments

Down scaled quite a bit this year. This should be good for a 20 minute show.

 

I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.

– John Adams

 

No links tonight, folks. I won’t sully this evening with the derp of 2020 that passes as news these days. I may be cynical as the day is long, but I do still believe in the idea that became America.

 

I leave you with the fabulous Ray Charles.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

381 Comments

    • Mojeaux

      It was aliens.

    • BakedPenguin
      • Chafed

        When are we getting another Secret Nazi President?

      • Jarflax

        Hopefully November 2024

  1. Count Potato

    OMWC sent you the Jail Bait one, didn’t he?

    • Count Potato

      Upon closer examination, I noticed two things that looks more like Q sent it.

      • Spudalicious

        Jail Bait is up first tonight.

      • Mojeaux

        She has an early bedtime.

      • Sean

        Bazinga!

      • TARDIS

        Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to sleep.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Is the fireworks place out past Orchards on I84 still there?

      • Spudalicious

        Is that the place that’s also a taxidermy, or used to be?

  2. Gender Traitor

    Thanks for the clip. Yeah, I think I could get behind that as an alternate national anthem.

  3. hayeksplosives

    Mojeau, GenderTraitor, and Hayeksplosives on a thread at the same time! Huzzah!

    • UnCivilServant

      I thought you all had different awaketimes.

      • Mojeaux

        I think it’s more like we all have different work times. I can fiddle around here during the day.

      • Gender Traitor

        I was chuggin’ down iced coffee all morning, so no afternoon nap for me! And we’ll see how (read “if”) I sleep tonight.

      • Mojeaux

        When I get some time and money, I’mma dress like Stevie Nicks.

      • Gender Traitor

        Noice! I need a new online clothing source since my old standby, Chadwick’s, has been AWOL for months.

    • Mojeaux

      Now let’s drag Tulip, Kristen, Cannoli, and Toxteth O’Grady in here!

      • Count Potato

        *LemonGrenade has entered the chat*

      • Gender Traitor

        We can all be here as long as we’re not in positions of power. ; )

      • Mojeaux

        Wait, what?

        Does that mean if we demand to be on top the God of Glibs is gonna kick us out?

      • AlmightyJB

        Let’s not be too hasty here:)

      • Mojeaux

        Heh.

      • Fourscore

        “Does that mean if we demand to be on top OF the God of Glibs he is gonna kick us out?”

        FYFY and No

      • Gustave Lytton

        My fault. I indulged my inner misogynist in a bit of frustrated anger at the current news.

      • Mojeaux

        Color us Lilith. ?

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks. That’s very gracious of you to say. Personally, I have no desire to be in a position of power just because it doesn’t suit my personality. It was just the whole voting thing. Anyway, no harm, no foul. ::fist bump, if the kids are still doing that::

      • Gender Traitor

        Re: a comment from the last thread that I was too lazy to engage.

      • BakedPenguin

        Don’t forget RAHeinlein

      • Old Man With Candy

        Lady Z, WebDom, SP, Banjos…. there’s no shortage.

      • Cannoli

        *waves hi*

      • Gender Traitor

        I believe TO’G changed her handle – something about an omelet?? (Mmmm! Omelets!)

      • Mojeaux

        Whoa. Missed that.

      • Gender Traitor

        She appears to have changed it back (see elsewhere on this page.) Or I may have imagined it. I often hallucinate about omelets.

      • Count Potato

        It’s like going out to breakfast after a rave?

      • westernsloper

        TOG is a broad? Did not know that.

      • Mojeaux

        Indeed she is. Made the mistake of misgendering her once and she very politely corrected me.

      • Rhywun

        she very politely corrected me

        Sounds like a dame to me. 🙂

      • R C Dean

        Or Canadian. If you can tell the difference.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Heard it the other day on a podcast (attributed to Orwell) and changed to it while Welt-grumpy but it was confusing people.

    • Ted S.

      Wait until their menstrual cycles sync up.

      • Gender Traitor

        That ain’t gonna happen on my account.

      • Mojeaux

        Nor mine.

    • Mojeaux

      Hayek, re your pirate costume, do you go cosplaying anymore? I’m thinking about doing that next year for RenFest (as I have no faith RenFest will be held this year).

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, I do. The fests around here are weak sauce compared to the multi week extravaganza that is the Minnesota Renaissance Faire.

        And the mead is “meh.” I’m hoping the fests get more attention so that they attract attendees and last longer.

      • Mojeaux

        I took belly dance lessons for a while in the hopes I could perform at RenFest, but didn’t stick with it (life intruded).

        I don’t know what I’d go as. It’s unlimited, really, but I decided I wasn’t too old to have the fun I want to have.

      • kinnath

        And the mead is “meh.”

        You need to make your own.

    • TARDIS

      Ugh, so pulchritudinous. 🙂

    • Chafed

      Lucky 7

    • DEG

      High quality gallery.

  4. LemonGrenade

    Happy Independence Day, Glibs. May everyone have the opportunity to celebrate in the manner that suits them best, and have a fantastic time of it.

    • Mojeaux

      AND now we’ve got LemonGrenade too!

      A unique of unicorns.

      • Count Potato

        I haven’t seen this many tits here since Q’s last post.

    • Count Potato

      You too!

      Although, tbh, this feels like the weirdest Fourth of July.

      • LemonGrenade

        It has been, but I’m in a campground in South Dakota, there’s a whole slew of RVs that came in as a group to party together over the holiday weekend, and the campground is packed with American flags, cornhole, and beers. If the rain will just let up the rest of the way, I’ll start a fire, get dinner going, and join in (on the beers, at least).

      • Count Potato

        That sounds nice. Well, except the rain part.

      • LemonGrenade

        Rain over! Fire lit! Beers out! Life is good.

      • Mojeaux

        w00t!

      • Count Potato

        Go you!

    • Gender Traitor

      And to you! Please tell us more about your travels!

      • LemonGrenade

        We never hit all the sights there are to see when we do this. The hubby and I are too lazy and I work 3/4 of the time we’re on the road, so we’ll spend days just hanging around the campsite.

        We do head to Yellowstone on Monday, and I intend to fill the phone up with pictures. But we’ll be there a full week, so it’ll still be an easy pace.

        We’ve been on the road since June 17, and all we’ve done so far is rent an ORV at Silver Lake sand dunes, go on a duck boat tour in the Wisconsin Dells and see Mount Rushmore. See what I mean? Lazy. We’ll get off our asses long enough to see Crazy Horse tomorrow.

      • Gender Traitor

        Lazy vacations are the finest kind!

      • Mojeaux

        ❤️

        Jelly.

      • EvilSheldon

        Nice.

        Stay away from the bison, though.

      • LemonGrenade

        Yeah, those fuckers look mean.

      • Jarflax

        Bison is tasty and healthy so no!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Mrs. Hobbit approached a bison in Yellowstone to take some pictures. I was yelling at her to back away because I really didn’t want to explain to the Park Rangers why I killed a bison with my .357 in a National Park. Fortunately it ending peacefully.

      • DenverJ

        Oh the Dells are so neat. Did you catch the boat show next door? Do they still do the boat show nextdoor?

      • pistoffnick

        My cousin was part of the water ski show for several summers at the Dells

      • dbleagle

        If you get to Yellowstone try to be on the Lamar Valley road around sunset. The road is above the valley bottom with good views. About sunset is when the wolves come out. With luck you’ll hear the howls and see them down in the bottom lands. I don’t care if you have never heard a wolf howl. If they do, you will know instantly that is no coyote.

        (My old stomping grounds.)

      • LemonGrenade

        If that’s anywhere near the Rainbow Point campground I’ll be sure to check it out.

      • LemonGrenade

        We did see some water skiers while we were on the duck boat tour, but I don’t think they were part of a show, just enjoying the Dells. I was just grateful so much was open. I was able to dine in for the first time since March 13.

      • DEG

        Very nice.

  5. Tres Cool

    Brisket done….fallin apart all over

    postimg.cc/LqgrjP2n

    • Spudalicious

      Link of fail.

      • Tres Cool

        You cant just paste that?

        Fine

      • Spudalicious

        That made my day.

        Brisket looks delish.

      • Tres Cool

        It wasnt the whole 1/4 cow cut. It was the “just the tip” cut.

      • Sean

        I see carbs. ?

      • Tres Cool

        Nope….thats Jugsy’s plate.

        I just dipped slices in the sugar-free sauce.

      • Count Potato

        It worked for me.

  6. egould310

    Happy Independence Day!

    Since yesterday morning, I’ve been marinating a flank steak in evoo, s/p, chopped onion, chopped , garlic, lime juice, and red wine. Cook it up in the skillet and chop it up for tacos. Wife is making tortillas. Fresh avocados. I bought some perfectly ripe tomatoes at PCC market just now. I’ll make fresh pico de gallo.

    Sipping a vodka collins. Think i’ll watch Team America, fuck yeah.

    • Nephilium

      I looked to see if that movie was streaming anywhere, to avoid needing to walk into the basement. It was not, so I brought up Bruce Campbell’s Jack of All Trades instead.

      Best.

      Theme song.

      Evar.

    • LemonGrenade

      Yum. I’m going to get my campfire cooking on and spatchcock a chicken, roast some corn on the cob and toss some potatoes on, too.

      Think I might watch Team America, too.

      • Mojeaux

        “Spatchcock” is the best word ever.

      • Suthenboy

        My favorite word is “Serendipity” but “Spatchcock” runs a close second.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ermagerd! “Serendipity” is TOTALLY my favorite word, too! It starts out so serene, then gets all dippity!

      • Mojeaux

        “Effervescent” is my favorite word.

      • l0b0t

        I’m rather fond of “defenestrate”. Also, “cross” because it so aptly descriptive – I’m rarely angry, but I’m often cross.

      • TARDIS

        Mrs. T used to coyly ask me if I was cross with her.

        My favorite word remains pulchritudinous because it sounds the exact opposite of what it means.

      • westernsloper

        So it doesn’t mean front butt it means thicc?

        *not looking it up I am forever using that word for front butt*

      • Incentives Matter

        My favourite word is “moist.”

        The spousal unit hates me a little bit when I use it around her.  ;-)

      • LemonGrenade

        And a great way to cook a bird on a campfire. When we’re on the road, unless the campground prohibits it, we generally try to do most of our cooking there. Gives us an excuse to sit around it for hours.

      • TARDIS

        I never heard the word until my wife bought a new air fryer, and the chicken was too big to fit in it.

        “I’m going to have to spatchcock it.”

        *runs from kitchen protecting nethers*

    • creech

      Been marinating a London Broil for 24 hrs (oil, lemon juice, garlic). Will grill it up, add some corn on the cob, and wash it down with a 2015 Cline Old Vine Zinfandel from Lodi, CA.

  7. westernsloper

    I may be cynical as the day is long, but I do still believe in the idea that became America.

    ?

    • Rhywun

      Part of the plan. I wouldn’t trust anything Wikipedia has to say about a living person. Hell, most dead people too.

      • Rhywun

        Yep, all SOP.

      • Chafed

        Thanks for the link CP. I had no idea that was going on.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      I seent that earlier. Anything vaguely political on Wikipedia is a lost cause. It’s a kind of tragedy of the commons situation where gang of lefty propagandists has taken over the playground. Ostensibly anyone can take part, but in reality if you try and use the swing set or the jungle gym, you’ll get chased out and end up chased outside the fence with a bloody nose and chewing gum in your hair, nowhere to go but home.

  8. JD is in the United Karendom

    Gun Jesus rockin’ a neat Hawaiian shirt for his latest vjo

    #borntoboog

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I bought my first Hawaiian shirt the last time I was at Walmart. Not because of Boogaloo, but because fuck all the leftists trying to make anything remotely associated with the right verboten. Oh, and it was nice looking and comfortable.

      • Suthenboy

        I like Hawaiian shirts and have been wearing them for ever. I will keep doing so. Sadly I recently lost a very nice silk one by being foolish enough to leave it on a low enough shelf that the new puppy, which my wife has dubbed ‘Tucker’, used to try out his brand new adult teeth.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Sounds like he straight up peacefully protested on it. Sorry, dude.

    • DEG

      I ordered one in time for the PorcFest ReopenNH rally. There was a pig roast after the rally, and I changed into the Hawaiian shirt for the rally.

      I liked the shirt so much I ordered two more. They haven’t arrived yet.

  9. Nephilium

    As the mythical ones are here, I should probably set up a happy hour for tonight. I’ll kick it off at 19:00 Eastern.

    • l0b0t

      Thank you.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Had to drop, kids misbehaving

    • DEG

      Thanks. I’d join but I’m quite tired from the day. I’m going to head to bed soon after I finish reading the comments on this post.

    • Rebel Scum

      Do you want to get mauled by a tiger? Because that’s how you get mauled by a tiger.

      • Suthenboy

        Everyone has their kink

    • Ted S.

      This is the sort of thing HM would post.

    • westernsloper

      Dogs and cats sleeping together!……it is Armageddon. And none too soon.

  10. Rebel Scum

    Donald making Melania feel awkward in that long walk to the stage.

    • BakedPenguin

      Meh, she was a model. If she isn’t used to it by now, I lack sympathy.

      • Rebel Scum

        “Was” a model? That babe has still got it.

      • Mojeaux

        She’s difficult for me to look at. To me she has a look that is vaguely uncanny valley and it’s unnerving. It’s the eyes mostly.

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s the eyes mostly.

        She’s got a Slavic thousand yard stare, which, to me, is hawt.

      • Mojeaux

        Me, not so much. LOL

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I lived in a discuss
        Slavic country for several years and would see dozens of women more attractive than Melania in my way to work.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Eddie: You know, like those ladies in the comic books who are no good. They always got skinny eyes.

        Tom Corbett: Skinny eyes. Anything else?

        Eddie: Well, there’s one other thing, but… it’s about sex.

        Tom Corbett: Go ahead. I can stand it.

        Eddie: Well, the bad ladies, they always got big busts. Now, don’t get mad, Dad, but it’s true. Very big. Skinny eyes, and big busts is how you tell a bad lady from a good one.

        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056956/quotes?item=qt4264675

        (Just kidding, Mel, I got nothin against ya.)

      • Tres Cool

        I knew a girl in college we called “uncanny valley”

      • TARDIS

        Just you?

  11. Suthenboy

    Just out of curiosity, since when did ‘corn hole’ become a thing? I ask because when I was growing up around here ‘corn hole’ was a common euphemism for ‘ass fucking’. Saying the word around adults would get any kid a trip to the woodshed.

    • Mojeaux

      Srsly. I only heard of it within the last 10 years or so.

      • Rhywun

        I discovered the new meaning here – what, a year ago? Someone mentioned it and I was like wut.

    • l0b0t

      I first heard it used, in a non-sexual manner in the early aughts. I’m with ya; I still have to stifle a Beavis & Butthead guffaw every time I hear about the game.

      • Nephilium

        So, one of the suburbs of Cleveland is Lakewood, OH. It was well known (all the way back to the 80’s) for being where those who preferred the company of their own gender hung out. In the early ’00’s it also became relatively inexpensive to live there, which attracted frat/college boys. I legitimately busted out laughing the first time I was walking up to a bar, and saw the “Lakewood Cornhole Championship” banner hung across the street.

      • westernsloper

        They have a corn fest here celebrating the local sweet corn. When I heard about the corn hole championship planned it was all I could do to not bust out laughing. My inner Butthead is strong.

    • Plinker762

      As I recall from high school, it meant AF 35 years ago.

    • EvilSheldon

      I think that Frank Zappa might be responsible for the dirty meaning. Cornhole has been a Midwestern party game since WWII at least.

      • blackjack

        It’s also very popular in prison, at least that long.

      • Rhywun

        We have it in the East but I don’t remember what people call it, other than not that. Maybe bean bag toss?

      • Suthenboy

        Bean bag toss is what I would have called it.

      • Mojeaux

        Same. That’s how I always heard it.

      • Fourscore

        I don’t think Zappa was responsible when I heard the word over 70 years ago. It was commonly used before we even knew was real sex was.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      You have got to be shitting me. The bean bag toss game has been around, pretty much forever.

      https://www.cornholehowto.com/

      • Mojeaux

        Didn’t call it “cornhole.” We called it “bean bag toss”.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Thats odd. If you run a search for “bean bag toss” it gives you cornhole.

        Pop/Soda/Coke. Whatever.

      • Mojeaux

        Pop.

      • kinnath

        Weasel.

      • Rhywun

        Right.

        We’re just saying that to many of us, “cornhole” means something very different.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Incidentally, it has the exact same meaning to me.

      • Jarflax

        I also. I think I was 30 the first time I heard of the game, by being invited to play it by some very straight laced folks, and I could not stop snickering.

      • Ted S.

        Rule #5:

        5. Cornhole is no place for children! The little stinkers love to get in the way, steal your bags, and climb on the boards. However, studies show that a bag to the head is an excellent method for teaching children to stay away.

        LOL!

    • LemonGrenade

      I learned of it in high school in the early 90s and giggled like a… well, high schooler. Since then, I’ve played it enough times to get over the impulse, out loud at least.

  12. Rebel Scum

    I’m pleasantly surprised he just went there in the speech. Clown world is fun.

    • Ted S.

      Where is “there”? I assume it’s not Oakland.

      • Rebel Scum

        Calling out Marxists by name and stating, in no uncertain terms, we will not allow ourselves to be divided by race/color/creed.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        There is a sculpture in Oakland named There so now they can say there is a there there.

    • Mojeaux

      Me likey. The woman in pic 3 is beautiful. The dude in pic 4 has a Japanese sword.

      • Rebel Scum

        I, too, like armed women. (as long as they are not mad a me…)

    • Sean

      Dude is rocking a flag mullet.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Trump’s speech writer wins again.

  14. Rebel Scum

    “We build the best planes, maybe ever.”

    • hayeksplosives

      WWII British planes were the envy of the world.

      Reminder: even mighty empires cancrumble.

      • Frosty

        I’d have to disagree with “envy of the world”. Every nation had some standouts and some failures at the beginning of hostilities, and they all made huge advances in technology, manufacturing or both over the course of the war.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Nah, Me262 uber alles.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Uber Allies?

  15. Rebel Scum

    Leave it to Donald Trump to turn an Independence Day event into an airshow. Naturally, I approve.

  16. The Bearded Hobbit

    We just returned from our trip to visit D2 in Michigan. Unfortunately we don’t have the side trip that SP mentioned.

    A highlight was our visit with kinnath and his Mrs. Great dinner with pleasant people. And a case of mead, too boot! Thanks, kinnath, been really enjoying it.

    Downside was the discovery of how bad the roads have become. Illinois was the peak (thought I was going to be pissing blood after some of them) with Michigan in close second. Jeez, Michigan, you’ve been working on I-196 for over two years and it’s still not done? Ditto Amarillo, that construction is neverending. NM comes in somewhere around third.

    COVID panic was mostly non-existent with the notable exception of Michigan. Jeez, their governor is a loon.

    A great trip overall. I always enjoy watching the geography of the states pass by.

    • kinnath

      We had a great time.

    • westernsloper

      You people and your road trips. I am envious. ?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I’d come up to visit you but you seem to be busy.

        NM chile > CO chile. Good place to start.

      • R C Dean

        “NM chile > CO chile“

        The short hairy one speaks wisdom.

      • westernsloper

        Oh ye of little faith befuddled with delusion.

      • westernsloper

        You people are brain washed by Big Chile aka Hatch.

      • westernsloper

        I drove past my chili dealers fields the other day. The plants are coming up nicely. I am sending you and SP chilis this year.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        “chili dealers” sure, that’s what they are, RIIIIGGHT!

      • Tres Cool

        it IS a strange way of typing ‘opium poppy’

    • DEG

      Excellent.

  17. JD is in the United Karendom

    I’ve been clicking on twitter links again and each one is only one degree removed from some mendacious cunte talking absolute bullshit with some assumed authority about something they couldn’t possibly know. The “boogaloo bois”, or rather the imagined version of them as some kind of organised, “white supremacist” troublemakers, are now the ultimate scapegoat, and anyone loosely classified as such is unlikely to have much ability to counteract the lies without being shut down or mobbed.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Anyone mentioning the boogaloo boys in seriousness as a threat should be made to wear a dunce cap and stand facing the corner for an hour. That’s an unserious meme and some jokesters and shit talkers on the internet and nothing more.

    • Rebel Scum

      *adjusts Hawaiian shirt*

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Flashes O.K. Sign

      • pistoffnick

        *Affixes ‘”Don’t Tread On Me” sticker to bumper.

      • Sean

        That’s the patch I put on my plate carrier.

      • Rhywun

        OFFS.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I like that they wrote a whole article on what social media thinks about a sixty nine year old woman making the OK sign. Social media and working for the Daily Mail must cause dain bramage.

      • Chafed

        Brain damage too.

  18. Fourscore

    We are having a serious dry summer here in Podunkville. The bees are flying but honey production is way down, relative to where we’d like to be. We’re blaming it on a lack of flowers, due to the lack of rain. Garden is well but I’m irrigating almost every day.

    Honey Harvest will go on as usual however, 3rd Sunday in Sep, the 20th this year. Looking forward to meeting new folks, we’re losing a few for various reasons but hopefully newbies will make up for any shortfall. Family friendly. If anyone is towing a travel trailer//motor home we can probably fix you/them up with a level spot and running water.

    • kinnath

      Planning to be there this year.

      • Fourscore

        It’ll be a good day to meet local Glibs, too.

    • Suthenboy

      We are having an especially wet summer and the bees are having an especially good one. No floods, just frequent rain. The cattle farmer across the bayou from me just had his second harvest of hay. I expect. he will end with four if it is a mild winter.
      Before you get envious, that means the SHB’s are having a good year also.

    • Ted S.

      Blame it on coronavirus.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I’ma try to make it work, but wifey being forbidden by her OB from flying until the baby comes threw a wrench into my travel plans for the fall.

    • DEG

      I plan to be there.

    • Rebel Scum

      She’s gonna get a black eye when she pulls the trigger.

      • Suthenboy

        It is a Beeman air rifle

      • Rebel Scum

        My aunt got tapped by an optic while hunting. She was shooting a .30-06. She made the kill though.

      • Fourscore

        Diana 35, same as mine (before the accident, I mean)

      • Suthenboy

        I just glanced and thought….Ah…she has my Beeman. I better go get it back.

        Funny thing, it has such a strong spring that it….it’s not a kick….more like a jolt. No scope-bite but a strong vibration.

      • Fourscore

        I put a scope made for a .22 on mine but apparently the recoil, as you say is totally different and there is an air rifle scope made for the difference.

        I found that oiling the barrel would cause dieseling, smoke would curl out the barrel and erratic shooting. Fun gun and have to careful, ‘cuse they would cause serious eye damage.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      You are truly a gentleman and a scholar.

    • Fourscore

      And left handed, what’s not to like.

    • Chafed

      America.

  19. Derpetologist

    Today I rafted the river featured in the movie Deliverance.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nIAmxDinzU

    That’s a class IV rapid. Class VI is the highest, although to me, those words mean “place where I buy booze.”

    I got to swim in the rapids that Burt Reynolds did in the movie. Fun fact: it was the same rapids for all his swimming scenes, they just filmed it from different angles.

    I was proud that I didn’t get knocked out of the raft at any time and helped pull in people who did.

    Class VI rapids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QtTfCkfVPw

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      No thanks, I’ll stick with my little kayak and the River, mt beer doesn’t float away so easily,

    • Fourscore

      Are there Class VI stores stateside? I only remember them overseas. I blame the cheap liquor and smokes for making me the boy I am. That way I’m not responsible

      Cheapest booze I ever saw was at a Ship’s Store in Rota, Spain Both Gilbey’s gin and vodka were 50 cents a 1/2 gallon (circa 1970). Even at the regular prices in Torrejon BX a person could stay drunk a long time for 20 bucks, same as downtown.

      • Derpetologist

        The booze and smoke store here at Camp Swampy is called has a sign on it that says “Class 6”.

        In the cigar case, they have a variety pack of 8 Monte Cristo cigars. It’s called the Full Monte. I have a sensible chuckle whenever I see it.

      • Derpetologist

        scratch the “is called” part

        Often when I write, I will rephrase things and then forget to delete some of what I wrote the first time around.

      • l0b0t

        When I was in they had a rule that they would not sell alcohol to anyone in BDUs before 1600; is that still a thing?

      • Derpetologist

        Never heard of that rule. I’ve seen guys in uniform buy fun water before 1600.

        AIT has had a total ban on booze for a while now. And when Joes are relieved from it, they party like Lampwick on Pleasure Island.

      • Fourscore

        At the clubs or Class VI store? Clubs usually allowed fatigues (BDUs) until 6-7PM at like a stag bar. All those things have changed since I left Sam’s Finest. Class VI was open during the day and work uniform allowed, closed about 5 PM (Retreat)

        I can’t keep up nor do I try anymore.

      • Derpetologist

        Stag bar? I’ve heard stories of those, but they went bye-bye about 40 years ago. Something, something Tailhook.

        The Class VI here closes at 1900 most days, but you can still get booze at the gas stations til midnight.

        There are still Officer clubs, but no NCO clubs, not that I would go to one anyway.

        Sadly, the Big Green Machine has been getting a big dose of the Demolition Man treatment for the past few years:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAqOeVazCyE

        ratings and comments disabled for some mysterious reason…

        Aside from wanting to get the pension, I’d like to stay in the Army just for the challenge of trying to stop it from hitting itself on the head with a hammer. It would also be nice to pass on my experience and shape some raw recruits into a pack of Homer Simpsons.

        “You! Conjugate that verb! You! Decline that noun! You call that a sentence diagram, mister?! Drop and give me 50!”

      • Derpetologist

        These days, soldiers aren’t allowed to drink in uniform except at a handful of sponsored events.

        I remember being pressured to go to an Army ball. I refused because there would be no booze, it would cost $60, and I’d be stuck in the same room with SSG Jerkface and his equally obnoxious associates for an evening. I said I’d pay $60 *not* to spend an evening with SSG Jerkface.

        Some background- I sent SSG Jerkface an email in which I referred to another NCO as “sergeant” as though I was speaking. In retrospect, I should have just googled “how to write an Army email”. Anyway SSG Jerkface sends me an email calling me stupid and leaves his signature as something like Supreme Commander Lord Admiral Viper Scorpion Esq. Jerkface. So I sent him and email back in which I addressed him as Supreme Commander Lord Admiral Viper Scorpion Esq. Jerkface, I addressed the NCO in question as though I was speaking to him. Very Respectfully. SPC Derpy.

        When I graduated DLI, and had to sign some PCS forms in the o-room, SSG Jerkface, somewhat remorseful, asked me: so, uh Derpy – how did you do?. Without looking up, I said: I passed. Sergeant. And then I left.

        What a jackass. I have no respect for people who kiss up and kick down.

      • pistoffnick

        THIS is why I would have never made it in the military.

        I was one signature away from joining the Air Force Academy, when I realized I don’t handle authority well, I have no respect for stupid rules, and I REALLY dislike being yelled at.

      • Chipwooder

        There’s no alcohol at an Army ball? What kind of foolishness is that? The Marine Corps Ball has plenty of alcohol, though nothing like a mess night. I only went to one mess night but goddamn did I get shitfaced at that one.

      • Derpetologist

        Fun fact: the Army is the *only* branch which is banned from drinking at DLI, because a drunk airman crashed into a guard booth.

        A marine told me a story about how the entire USMC got banned from hotel in California because they all got super drunk, threw the mattresses in the pool, and then started jumping off the balcony onto them.

        When I was 12 or so, I expressed interest in the USMC, my WW2 vet grandpa told me a story about how he was a temporary MP and had to watch a bunch of marines fresh from Guadalcanal. He said some of them were wearing necklaces with ears and teeth from dead Japanese. When the evening came, he heard a huge racket, and he and the other MP had to break up a kangaroo court martial where a bunch of marines were beating the holy hell out of guy for no particular reason.

        He also said the Army was for morons and slobs. He was mad that when he got discharged he didn’t get enough money for bus or train ticket home and had to hitchhike. He was much prouder of his time in the Civil Air Patrol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • pistoffnick

        My cousin was in the Air Force Academy. He got caught stealing a #10 can of peanut butter from the kitchen during Hell Week. His punishment was to provide each member in his platoon a #10 can of peanut butter. He could only carry a few at a time, and they were camping 12 miles from the kitchen. He said it was a long night.

      • Derpetologist

        Air Force Hell Week sounds like the start of a joke, like how the different branches eat cereal:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkoXYHsDd9M

        I’ve been in joint environments most of the time, so I’m all in on the one team, one fight thing.

        Even so, there’s a reason why the Army has to pay such high bonuses.

        Too much time is wasted in pointless hazing rituals and other such nonsense in my view. If it isn’t simple, direct, practical, and efficient, it’s probably stupid.

        Oh, if I could only be Sergeant Major of the Army for a just one day…

    • Tres Cool

      Class VI is where you get booze.

    • dbleagle

      Lava Falls Rapids in the Grand Canyon. One of the three most serious class VI rapids on the river.

      I was in high school when I rode through it. The boatman kept us upright but one person was ejected like out of a cannon when the raft went from a” V” to an opposite “V” in about one second. No injury but they had a heck of a story.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U48uKKbpjvI

    • Sean

      I got knocked out of a raft once. Didn’t even lose my sunglasses.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Whales? hmmm, Do you have a new, Thicc Girlfriend?

      • Derpetologist

        Not yet. Got a few nibbles recently from my jokey pickup lines but no new phone numbers so far.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        Cheers!

    • Plinker762

      There is a video of the playing with seal pups. Right before they eat them.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I was fishing in the Gulf of Alaska when we came across a huge pod of orcas. We counted 28 of them. It was awesome and a little bit scary especially when the males came at us broadside to check is out.

      • dbleagle

        Sailing in the San Juan Islands we had a pod pass the boat on both sides. You could hear them talking to each other because the hull acted like a speaker. The kids were impressed, even though they were in HS at the time.

  20. Rebel Scum

    I live too close to the county fair grounds. Explosions galore right now, even though I thought fireworks displays were canceled. Maybe they weren’t.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      I love those Guys! Rock on Grumble!

  21. LJW

    Watching the NYC fireworks while we are waiting to go out for the local show. I’m surprised NYC still has a show given the Fourth is a racist holiday.

    • l0b0t

      Here in The Rockaways, every neighborhood around us and most of the boardwalk have been blowing up since twilight. It’s fantastic.

  22. AlmightyJB

    Guess there was a sale on fireworks. Neighbors are going all out. Going at least an hour and a half from all directions. A lot more than usual.

    • Rhywun

      Same here. It’s nuts.

    • Chipwooder

      We went to a 4th party thrown by the parents of a friend of my daughter, and dude must have spent upwards on a grand on fireworks.

    • Brochettaward

      The fatter the cook the better the food.

    • Chipwooder

      Obergruppenführer Smith?

  23. DEG

    Reopen NH Independence Day rally news coverage

    It was a good rally.

    Afterwards I visited some friends. That was excellent.

    On the drive home I was entertained by many, many private fireworks displays.

    It was a good day.

    Happy Independence Day!

  24. Adama, Yusef Adama

    I made 2 Burgers and a hotdog on the BBQ, tasty, now just waiting for Darkness, BhC is already blowing up,

  25. Timeloose

    It’s not my imagination there are a lot of amateur fireworks this year.

    Holy shit 11:00 and still going. Merica!!!

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      We still have an hour go, officially,

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, we had a ton this year. Starting to trickle off. 11 is the unofficial courtesy time but you always have a few drunk aholes that don’t think 3 hours is long enough.

    • Rhywun

      Have a terrible song about America from a Brit.

  26. Derpetologist

    a new low in wu flu shenanigans

    At the rafting place, the rule was we had to wear masks in the registration building and on the bus. If we did not have a mask, they provided reusable ones.

    I held my tongue, but I was thinking that the idea of reusable masks is pretty close to the idea that it’s ok to reuse needles if you sterilize them.

    That’s a pretty big if.

    There are many viruses and they kill old and sick people all the time, while mostly sparing the rest. Why is this one so much worse?

    Should people go to jail for not using paper toilet seat covers in public restrooms? There’s about as much science in favor of that as the mask mandates.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Reusable masks sounds like reusable socks, for me, but not thee,
      ewwwww

      • Derpetologist

        There’s a reason why secondhand stores don’t sell donated undergarments. They could be sterilized, but no one would buy them anyway.

      • pistoffnick

        I dunno, I seem to remember Bill Clinton claiming $11 each for his donated pairs of whitey tighties on his taxes.

  27. leon

    America!

    Great fireworks shows going on all around us. Fuck the haters! Greatest country on Earth. If only we could do something about the gubbmint

    • Rhywun

      Yeah, slight quibble there.

      • leon

        ;p just a minor detail

    • Derpetologist

      “But other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

    • leon

      I hear they will hunt you down across space and time if you slight them.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      mean mutherfuckers,damn!

    • Mojeaux

      Fun fact: killer whales belong to a dolphin family.

      • grrizzly

        Don’t buy anything with the dolphin-safe label.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve never been too conscientious/concerned about that.

      • grrizzly

        Then maybe you should start now–to keep killer whales away.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Like Dogs! all sneaky and shit!

  28. dbleagle

    Soon to be sunset and getting ready to grill steak and corn on the cob. I already have some black rum in me and will have Sicilian Nero with dinner.

    America this is your tune.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX5ZRE26YWM

    • dbleagle

      The squirrels are up late.

      While not James Brown’s great anthem, this song isn’t bad for Independence Day.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN1iI-DaJNw

      Fuck off race baiters.

  29. Derpetologist

    deadliest animals to humans – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deadliest_animals_to_humans

    ***
    Mosquitoes kill an average of 1,000,000 humans per year mostly from bites[4]
    Humans kill an average of 475,000 humans per year[4]
    Snakes kill an average of 50,000 humans per year from snakebite[4]
    Dogs kill an average of 25,000 humans per year from dog bites causing rabies[4]
    Tsetse flies kill an average of 10,000 humans per year from African trypanosomiasis
    Assassin bugs kill an average of 10,000 humans per year from Chagas disease
    Freshwater snails kill an average of 10,000 humans per year from schistosomiasis
    Scorpions kill an average of 3,250 humans per year from venom
    Ascaris roundworms kill an average of 2,500 humans per year from malnutrition, tissue problems, and bowel obstruction
    Tapeworms kill an average of 2,000 humans per year from infection
    Crocodiles kill an average of 1,000 humans per year from crocodile attack[B]
    ***

    I see an argument for DDT and the right to keep and bear arms.

    • Plinker762

      I bet humans are the deadliest to humans.

      • Derpetologist

        ***
        Researchers Gurven and Kaplan have estimated that around 57% of hunter-gatherers reach the age of 15. Of those that reach 15 years of age, 64% continue to live to or past the age of 45. This places the life expectancy between 21 and 37 years.[40] They further estimate that 70% of deaths are due to diseases of some kind, 20% of deaths come from violence or accidents and 10% are due to degenerative diseases.
        ***

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter-gatherer

        Nasty, brutish, and short

      • Plinker762

        And I thought they lived in perfect harmony with nature.

      • Derpetologist

        And sang with all the colors of the wind…as they skinned each other alive.

        ***
        Many of the bodies are missing limbs; the attackers may have taken them as trophies, scavenger animals or birds may have carried them away, or some limbs may have been left unburied in the Crow Creek village.[14] Authors Willey and Emerson state that “they had been killed, mutilated, and scavenged before being buried”.[15] “Tongue removal, decapitation, and dismemberment of the Crow Creek victims may have been based on standard aboriginal butchering practices developed on large game animals”.[16] These are among the mutilations discovered at the Crow Creek site. In addition, scalping was performed, bodies were burned, and there is evidence of limbs being removed by various means. As stated in Willey’s dissertation, many of the mutilations suffered by the victims of the Crow Creek massacre could have been traumatic enough to result in death.[5]

        A conservative estimate of villagers who suffered scalping is 90%, but it could have been as high as 100%. This is based on skeletal remains that exhibit cuts on their skulls indicative of scalping.[13] Men, women, and children were scalped; the only difference was that younger children were cut higher on the skull than other groups.[13]
        ***

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crow_Creek_massacre

      • salted earth

        Not even puppy videos will help get this out my brain.

      • salted earth

        I didn’t know whales were so snuggly. And the water is very blue.

    • Count Potato

      “Mosquitoes kill an average of 1,000,000 humans per year mostly from bites”

      mostly? what are the other deaths?

      • Derpetologist

        accidents from frantically waving their arms around?

        “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.”

        Mosquito means little fly in Spanish

        ♫ Aye, yai, yai, yai, I am the flying mosquito…

    • Count Potato

      “Tsetse flies kill an average of 10,000 humans per year from African trypanosomiasis”

      I remember reading a letter in Playboy from a guy who put tsetse flies on his dick in the bathtub.

      • Mojeaux

        “I never thought it would happen to me … “

  30. Tres Cool

    Phew. Getting up for church in 6 hours is gonna be rough.
    Goddamn- Im gonna need a drink.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Y have my Sunday Tournament at 7, I’ll be sooo warmed up,

    • Festus' Mustache

      You need to start your own company, like Hiram Walker. Tres Cool’s Baby-Head Deluxe Pickle Juice Emporium and Sunday Morning Tonic Incorporated. Start going from town to town. You’ll make a mint!

  31. cyto

    CNN number one story at this second:

    Some guy spent 72 days in the hospital with COVID and just got out today!

    So whatever you do…. Don’t celebrate independence. Because covid is terrible.

    Really… The absolute top national story. One guy failed to die of COVID.

    • cyto

      MSNBC top 4 stories all about covid and how it is Republicans fault.

      Hmmmm.

      One network taking this angle is weird. But two? And this is not coordinated?

      • cyto

        New York Times

        Trump Hosts July 4 Event at White House as U.S. Cases Soar

      • cyto

        NBC news

        Top 6 stories about how scary and deadly COVID is and how it is republicans fault.

        Here is number 7

        When did patriotism become synonymous with selfishness in America?

      • cyto

        Huffpo

        2 ridiculous hit pieces on Trump and COVID, then story about a car running into protesters.

      • cyto

        So. I check 5 left news outlets. All 5 have multiple covid stories leading the way on the 4th. All blame Republicans.

        So, let us see what the one right leaning network says. Here are the top Fox stories:

        Trump, in July 4th speech, blasts ‘radical left,’ calls out ‘angry mob’ trying to ‘trample’ freedoms

        Trump gives optimistic Independence Day message, says US is ‘coming back’ after ‘terrible plague from China

        Biden calls for America to tackle ‘systemic racism’ in 4th of July message

        How Fourth of July in 2020 will be unlike any other: no beach, no booze, no BBQ

        Thomas Jefferson’s original Declaration of Independence rough draft: See the pictures

        Huh. I may be biased, but those sound like more traditional topics for the 4th. And the headline for Biden seems pretty fair.

      • cyto

        Just for fun

        Drudge.

        First 8 are hyperbolic covid scare headlines.

        Next several are hyperbolic scare headlines about divided America.

        And then this gem.

        FARRAKHAN: Fauci wants vaccine to depopulate Earth…

      • Festus' Mustache

        CBC national news feed. Three of the top stories are Wu-Flu related. One about a missing kid and the other two are Trump hit pieces. From the first few items on the sidebar there are three Trump hit pieces and something about kids dying in a tractor accident.

      • Rhywun

        And this is not coordinated?

        Maybe, maybe not. It doesn’t really matter. We know the MSM is all the same page whether they coordinate or not.

      • leon

        Yup. You don’t need coordination when you are part of a bubble. I’m not sure i’ve seen group think grip the entirety of an industry so bad. And i Work in software.

    • Rhywun

      Yikes. I shared a hospital room with a guy who recovered from the plague after 42 days. I think he still had weeks to go but I was released a couple days later.

      • Festus' Mustache

        How are feeling? We were worried about you. Sorry about the kitteh, Rhy.

      • Rhywun

        Thx. I am fine. A surgery is coming up in mid-July.

  32. Trigger Hippie

    All day long my neighborhood has sounded like an artillery battery’s training grounds and has also been shrouded in a layer of smoke that reeks of the combination of sulfur and bbq…laws have been broken, fucks have not been given, I’ve committed at least three minor felonies that didn’t harm a fucking soul, and I love each and every goddamn one of you who have have ever commented here in good faith.

    Happy Birthday, USA. I dread your 250th birthday but for tonight I still hold a tiny shred of hope.

    • Rhywun

      As crazy as the fireworks have already been here in Brooklyn I know from experience that the worst is yet to come – most likely after I retire for the evening.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’ve been reveling in it, to be honest. Let the mayhem sound aloud until daybreak!

      • Rhywun

        Yeah I love it. One year, though – holy crap. There was an explosion just outside my window at around 3am and it scared the fuck out of me.

      • Trigger Hippie

        …at 10:47pm I set off a quarter stick of dynamite at the banks of a pond in a nearby park. It was sand covered, no real property damage took place, and any sand displacement was corrected with soft rakes…

        One can have destructive fun without causing harm.

        Cheers, my friend! I’m getting sloppy now and may pass out soon. If so, goodnight!

    • salted earth

      The fireworks have just started in my neighborhood.
      I drove over the speed limit today, does that count as breaking the law?

      • Plinker762

        Such criminal behavior, for shame.

        About an hour of explosions so far in my neighborhood.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        BhC is going nuts, I love that smell, so I’m good,

      • Festus' Mustache

        We did our doggy torture three days ago. Happy 4th to the Americans here, hope it’s not your last.

      • salted earth

        68 in a 60, I live for danger!

      • Trigger Hippie

        I stated around noontime, any form of law breaking, however minor, is acceptable.

        Next year spice things up with a titillating jaywalk and an intentionally errant toss of a candy wrapper towards a publicly funded waste disposal receptacle. 😉

      • Festus' Mustache

        Spice it up with a “dead-naming” and you’ll hit the trifecta, scofflaw!

  33. Festus' Mustache

    Finally got the filter off of the Nissan. Had to jack up one side and then attack it with my largest channel lock pliers. As I mentioned previously, needed my breaker bar to dislodge the drain plug. WtF! Ridiculous. That was a “certified mechanic” that last changed the oil. My shop teacher cuffed the hat off my head when I went a little nuts with the impact wrench.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Needing a breaker bar is nuts, the pan can’t handle that kind of stress, good thing it held up,
      Sorry about my dick move last night…

      • Festus' Mustache

        No worries, Bob. I might have been a little too drunk and sandy for polite company. It’s all good. I’ve changed oil dozens of times and that drain plug should be about 13ft/lbs. (worked in a garage when I was a teen).

    • Plinker762

      I took apart and cleaned the carb on my mower today.

      • Festus' Mustache

        It’s that crappy ethanol in the gas. Draws water. I have to squirt carb cleaner into the intake to make mine run every year.

      • Plinker762

        Yup,. Carb cleaner in the intake wasn’t working. Looks like it was the main jet. It’s a Briggs and Stratton with the plastic carb. Was really easy to work on. Better than the old ones that were built into the fuel tank.

      • Festus' Mustache

        GAH. Those fucking things…

      • Plinker762

        Mowers beyond repair get taken out to the woods and given the Old Yeller treatment.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I have access to an industrial garbage bin.

      • salted earth

        I thought that old mowers would be bronzed like baby shoes.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Well gather ’round a Kegger,
      get drunk and do it again,

      • Festus' Mustache

        We’ll gather at the river,
        Assemble ’round at the lake,
        And no such foe will we e’er
        Have our Freedom take!

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        We blow stuff up in daytime,
        and blow it up at night,
        our freedom’s call,
        Come suck my balls,
        I dare you to take it away,

      • Festus' Mustache

        LOL!

  34. Count Potato

    “We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for president of the United States
    Flag of United States
    ! #2020VISION”

    https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1279575273365594112

    • salted earth

      sure, why not

      • Festus' Mustache

        Well, yeah. He’s got “fuck you” money and a wife that provides warmth in the Winter and shade in the Summer.

      • salted earth

        He has name recognition, he’s not Trump and he’s not Biden. I think he has a shot.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I. I got nothing.

      • Chafed

        It’s been such a bizarre year that he may be our best choice.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Those fuckers are creating the micro swells that knock the Seal off the floe, really smart!

      • one true athena

        Like it says in the comments, it looks like orca hunting school. There’s a fourth, big one keeping watch.

        There’s a different pod that knows how to turn sharks onto their back which induces dormancy, so the shark is helpless. But no other pod has been observed to do it.

  35. Chafed

    It may have been a mistake brushing my teeth shortly after finishing my rye.

    • Festus' Mustache

      That’s why you gargle with everclear.

    • Festus' Mustache

      The Washington Human Beings? Fucking CBC still calls the Edmonton Eskimos “The team from Edmonton” even though the Inuit that they are apparently defending from racism have no problem with the name. In fact they kind of like it and the team has sunk a shit-load of cash into programs up there.

  36. l0b0t

    5 AM, just got home from work and there is STILL sporadic firework activity.

    • westernsloper

      Damn that is impressive. I am about to grab a shower and head off to work.

  37. Cy

    Nephew lit a mortar to close to my left ear, it’s still ringing.

    5/5 stars would get fuzzy and blow things up again!