IFLA: The “It’s Not Guam” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of July 12

by | Jul 12, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 226 comments

I have to mention that because all the planets are clustered on one side of the solar system.  In fact, if you don’t mention Uranus (which nobody does, it’s in poor taste and we’ve all been tired of the jokes since the 7th grade) the planets are actually occupying a narrow wedge on the Capricorn- and Aquarius-ward side of things.  However, you don’t have to worry about the solar system tipping over when it’s so out of balance.  Those planets are moving really fast and the gyroscopic forces stabilize everything like a top. themoreyouknow.gif

And even though they’re all bunched up, the planets aren’t really doing anything.  It’s very suspicious.  Silly planets, what are you planning?  Creeping towards each other while being oh-so-careful not to line up in any way — you couldn’t be any more obviously plotting if you tried!

Cancer still has to deal with MERCURY RETROGRADE, so be on the lookout for any changing spots on your skin.  McCain only survived his melanoma because of his infernal pacts.  The moon and Mars are both in Aries, so watch out for quick tempers and a tendency towards overreacting.  If you can avoid that however, Venus in Gemini gives you a better chance at getting lucky than your typical day.

Like the skies, the cards are a mixed draw.  Is it just me, or does the Queen of Swords Reversed show up more than she should?  It does look like this week will be heavy on the economic/financial events.

Cancer:  King of Coins reversed –  Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

Leo:  8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, vanity, cupidity, exaction, usury. The ingenious mind turned to cunning and intrigue.

Virgo:  4 of Wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Libra:  8 of Cups – The decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence

Scorpio:  Blank – No guidance available.  Please try again next week.

Sagittarius:  Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty.

Capricorn:  The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.  Undoubtedly you will find some way to bitch about this.

Aquarius:  Malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, bale, deceit.

Pisces:  9 of Coins – Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment.

Aries:  The Emperor – Stability, power, protection, realization, a great person, aid, reason, conviction, authority, will

Taurus:  6 of Swords reversed – Declaration, confession, publicity, a proposal of love.

Gemini:  5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

226 Comments

  1. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 6 of Swords reversed – Declaration, confession, publicity, a proposal of love.

    Huh. That’s…interesting.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Will you marry me?

      • Gender Traitor

        Do it, Moje! That way he can come across the pond! And you’re Mormon, so it’ll be OK….

        Wait….does it work that way?

      • UnCivilServant

        Bigamy is still a crime in Missouri.

      • Chafed

        Apparently so is defending your home from an angry mob. That’s not stopping anyone on this site.

      • mindyourbusiness

        It isn’t that much of a bigamistery why it is.

      • Mojeaux

        Mr. Mojeaux would not cotton to being a brother-husband, first or not. 😉

        Also, Dear Brochettaward: I was first.

      • UnCivilServant

        *sigh*

        How can I make the point that nobody cares who’s first if people are going to bring it up?

      • Chafed

        We don’t care because we have been bereft of the ass slapping GIF for far too long.

      • Ted S.

        [slaps Mojeaux’s ass for being first]

      • Nephilium

        It’s now a time limited image. It’s appeared once in a while for a brief time on the morning links.

      • Mojeaux

        *haughty sniff*

        I am only making the point to Brochettaward, as I inadvertently beat him at his own schtick. Feel free to ignore.

      • Chafed

        I think it becomes official when you tell him to, and I quote, suck it.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, damn. I forgot that part.

      • Brochettaward

        My Firstness has transcends mere post counts on any particular day.

    • kinnath

      I sent you an email

      • Mojeaux

        I replied with pix this morning. Check your spam. I land there quite often.

      • kinnath

        I sent another email address to try.

        Network Solutions just blows away spam. I do not have a spam folder to check out.

        I will see if I can whitelist your address/domain.

      • Nephilium

        If you guys continue to have issues, I can serve as a go between. Just let me know.

      • Mojeaux

        Neh, I’d just send it from my IRL person email. I don’t really care about doxxing myself.

      • Mojeaux

        Sent. It’s a big email.

      • kinnath

        I got it this time.

      • Mojeaux

        Yay!

  2. Ownbestenemy

    Sagittarius: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty.

    Couldn’t describe me any better

    • Chafed

      I’ll take it. *mutters to self: please let the tarot be real, please let the tarot be real*

      • Jarflax

        Sorry Chafed, it isn’t real.

    • l0b0t

      Seriously! This is the best one we’ve gotten all year.

    • KSuellington

      Fellow Sagitarians, hung like horses, with impeccable aim to boot.

      • Chafed

        High five! ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        What you did there, noticed and received

  3. JD is in the United Karendom

    Slight consequence. Hmm.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I wanted immaterial happiness.

    • grrizzly

      He noticed that we were not happy with our horoscopes.

  5. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: Blank – No guidance available. Please try again next week.

    What???? How will I know what to do this week??? ::crawls under bed to ride it out::

      • Gender Traitor

        OK – sometime this afternoon, (Brunch awaits.)

      • UnCivilServant

        mmm… brunch.

        I had… M&Ms and pineapple chunks (not at the same time).

        I should really have real food.

      • Chafed

        Has living in Albany reduced your will to live?

      • UnCivilServant

        No. It’s steeled my resolve to not be broken by this place.

      • Nephilium

        That’s… how did you get worse then Hawaiian pizza?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Blank replies.

    • Jarflax

      It’s 2020, crawling under the bed is the rational course.

  6. UnCivilServant

    Hrmm… if I get the current Kord the Younger story to its intended end, it could be the longest piece I published on Glibs. It’s the only story where I’ve gotten words on the page of late.

    I should get back to it.

  7. DEG

    Leo: 8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, vanity, cupidity, exaction, usury. The ingenious mind turned to cunning and intrigue.

    Sounds like more shit.

  8. Adama, Yusef Adama

    Virgo: 4 of Wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.
    So, A hot Chick with money?

    • TARDIS

      I think it just means I got nice haircut and can still afford to eat.

    • Chafed

      You could do6worse.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        At least 6 worse.

  9. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril. – so you are saying I should give BDSM a shot?

    • Mojeaux

      Creosote Achilles to the courtesy phone. Paging Creosote Achilles.

  10. Grosspatzer

    Gemini: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

    Again??? Is today February 2?

    • whiz

      I agree, every time I look at the Gemini in NA’s horoscopes, it’s so bleak. I want a second opinion.

  11. Don Escaped both Landslides

    Gemini: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

    fake news!

    / DJT45

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      Scorpio: Blank – No guidance available. Please try again next week.

      argel bargul

      / JRB46

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      Gemini: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

      * arms folded, lips tight *

      / MRP47

      • Jarflax

        I must be getting stupid, who is MRP? and how does this person die to bring on Kamala?

      • Don Escaped both Landslides

        I’m just being silly and getting the most out of the horoscope: if we’re going to clown around with the future, let’s really clown around!

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      Libra: 8 of Cups – The decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence

      I knew it!

      * settles in to wait *

      / KDH48

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      Pisces: 9 of Coins – Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment

      no real rush

      * shrugs *

      / CVC49

  12. Chafed

    OT: gun stores continue to have ridiculously low stock. The prices on gunbroker.com for CA compliant pistols are insane. Does anyone know when the manufacturers are going to ramp up production to meet demand?

    • Nephilium

      If I had to guess, they’ve stepped it up as much as they can without building new plants.

      • Chafed

        Are the plants operating at capacity? I’m new to the pistol market. I’ve been looking for about a year. Around March the number of guns in stock dropped precipitously. I know there has been a lot of panic buying. But it’s 4 months later. When will inventories catch up?

      • Sean

        November.

      • Chafed

        Thanks and ugh. I guess I’ll wait.

      • kbolino

        Besides the coronavirus, there has been rampant rioting and looting, followed by numerous attempts (some successful) to pass stricter gun control laws. I don’t see any reason to expect the demand to stop outpacing supply.

        We can’t build new factories, nor retool existing ones, fast enough to make the masks that the government demands we all wear, and so we’re buying most of them from China (where the virus originated, and whose government is largely responsible for its initial spread). We’re sure as shit not going to ramp up gun production faster than that; even if other countries wanted to enter the civilian gun market for export to the United States (and most won’t), I think the import controls and other restrictions would make it prohibitively expensive.

      • Rhywun

        Masks are actually easy to find now. At least, around here. Of course, I wear the same one for a couple weeks straight or until I visit a medical facility when I grab a new one….

      • kbolino

        Easy to find, yes. Not made in China, not so much.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Several months ago, I saw an interview with one of the few US manufacturers of masks. He wasn’t increasing production (then) because he got burned during the last shortage. Hospitals and other institutional buyers cancelled or reduced orders as soon as they could get cheap overseas supplies again and his company almost went belly up. He still had to lay off a chunk of his employees and it was clear that didn’t sit any better with him either.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local stores is still dealing with panic buying. Based on a news article, they said people were still walking in, seeing them unpack a box, and saying, “I’ll buy that one.” The store said, they’ve been trying to educate people to get the right gun instead of panic buying.

        The girlfriend is now on board with us trying to book some range time and try out some pistols. I’ve only ever done rifles, black powder, and shotguns. That was back in Boy Scouts… quite some time ago. Based on the range time, there may be a purchase (or two) made down the road.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Interestingly enough, 380 ACP and 38 SP ammo are extremely hard to come by right now. Make sure to consider what you can get ammo for when selecting.

      • Nephilium

        Without even firing, I can already say that the girlfriend and I will have wildly divergent comfort ranges. She’s under 5′, I’m at 5’10”. One of our friends owns a .50 caliber rifle. She could barely lift it (and still didn’t believe that the bullets were the right size).

      • kinnath

        The worst pistol I ever fired was a Ruger in 380 ACP. I actually hurt my hand.

        My daughter fired both 380 ACP and 9 mm luger. She settled on 380 ACP.

        My wife, with carpal tunnel in both wrist and some arthritis in both hands, has no problem shooting 9 mm in Springfield EMP Champions (4 inch barrel), Springfield EM (3.3 inch barrel), and Sig Saur p938 (3 inch barrel). The Sig is know for being “snappy”.

        That being said, 380 ACP runs about 40-50% more than 9 mm. And it is even harder to find than 9 mm now.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve linked it before, but here’s the place I’ll probably go to (link to their rental page to avoid an autoplay video on the home page). There’s at least two other local gun stores in the area, and then a couple chain stores that (still) sell firearms as well.

        When I showed the girlfriend the rental page, she was interested in the full auto. I think that would be a terrible idea for her (I’d prefer to be behind a barrier if she’s going to try it).

      • UnCivilServant

        I have to shoot a full auto gun at some point.

      • Nephilium

        UCS: A reason to come back to Cleveland. When I’m there I may have to rent one for myself.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hrmm… I can’t make it out to arizona, but I might be able to get to Ohio, it’s only a day away.

      • Nephilium

        UCS: I’ll be able to provide more information after I go there at least once. Anecdotal reports are they’re booked solid for quite some time.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, let me know what you find out.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not sure how much supply chain issues are affecting firearms manufacturers, but it’s affecting ammo manufacturers according to Target Sports. Take it with a grain of salt, but they’ve saying every stage is getting squeezed.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The feedback I’ve gotten from the stores is that 75% of their customers are first time buyers.

        On the plus side, posting on glibs does not seem to affect your federal background check as mine went thru quickly yesterday.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I love it when a plan comes together!

        (The mini-14 triggers childhood tv memories)

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Steel supply problem as described by Lachowsky? Just guessing.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Was watching a youtuber gun store owner and if I recall correctly, he said that this current level of demand has been greater and more sustained than previous spikes, and manufacturers have been slow to ramp up production because they’ve gotten burned by excess inventory in past boom and busts.

      And if Biden wins in November, expect demand to continue.

      • Nephilium

        And if Biden wins in November, expect demand to continue.

        Until it can’t.

      • Chafed

        I can believe it. That’s what makes me wonder when supply will catch up to demand.

      • Chafed

        Thanks GL.

    • Animal

      The stuff I like (mostly pre-WW2 Winchesters and Brownings) seem to be dropping a little in price.

  13. Aus

    Don’t like the sound of that Cancer horoscope… but I’ll do my best.

    • Sean

      Well, I like vice and perversity,but not so much the rest.

    • Chafed

      Fuck cancer! Am I doing it right?

  14. l0b0t

    OT – Linzess (Linaclotide) is an amazing product. Best laxative ever!

    • Rhywun

      That’s the one for IBS, right? I remember seeing the commercials a lot. That’s what I thought I had before it turned out to be something entirely different.

      • l0b0t

        Maybe? My GP did some Dx by thumping his fingers on my lower tummy; he said I, like most people, was backed up and he wrote me the Rx. It’s fast acting and thorough, but tethers one to the house for a few hours.

  15. Nephilium

    All I know is that there was no line at Trader Joe’s today when I walked by, so I’m calling that a win.

    /munches on some hatch chili cheddar popcorn

  16. Rhywun

    And now, 16 glasses of bowel prep. Wish me luck 🙂

    • Mojeaux

      Good luck!

      • Rhywun

        This stuff tastes like toilet water.

      • Nephilium

        Does it at least have electrolytes?

      • Rhywun

        Yes.

      • Chafed

        Sorry Rhy. When is your surgery?

      • Rhywun

        Tomorrow. “Please report at 5:45am.” Ugh!

      • Gustave Lytton

        That avatar is way too on topic.

      • l0b0t

        Ugh, indeed. How long do they plan on keeping you?

      • Rhywun

        3 to 5 days.

      • Nephilium

        Good luck man.

      • Rhywun

        Tks

      • Chafed

        Ugh indeed. I hope things go well.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Hope the results are good for you.

      • Incentives Matter

        Been there, done that. (Sort of.) All the best, d00d. Most bowel/abdominal surgeries are so routine, the surgeons could almost do ’em with their eyes closed.

        And then there’s recuperation. Blargh.

      • Not an Economist

        First, good luck.

        Secondly I’ve always preferred early morning surgeries as I don’t have to wait all day. You can’t eat, you can only sip water, and your awake so you can sit and think about what’s going to happen. Early morning surgeries, I’m bare awake when I get to the hospital and I eon’t have to wait at home.

      • Rhywun

        Good point. Yeah, I’ll be runnin’ on empty when I get there.

    • Sean

      ???

      • Gustave Lytton

        <- and that avatar is always just right

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      very best of luck

    • Trigger Hippie

      Oh yeah. Good luck, bud.

    • Jarflax

      Good luck Rhy!

    • Rhywun

      Thx all

    • Ted S.

      Hawt.

    • Grosspatzer

      Good luck, dude, we need you. #NYGlibsmatter

    • Brochettaward

      You probably won’t die.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck. Hope it’s a blow out.

    • R C Dean

      *checks hospital acquired infection and mortality rate*

      It was nice knowing you.

      j/k. I’m sure you will be fine.

      • Rhywun

        I already did a three-day spell at the height of this shit. Came out clean as a whistle.

      • Old Man With Candy

        PHRASING.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Good luck! Hurry up and recover. You’re needed here.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Good luck. We’re all counting on you.

    • TARDIS

      Good luck! Hope everything comes out alright.

    • westernsloper

      Trust it will all pass uneventful. Good luck!

    • egould310

      Take care, Rhy. Will be thinking of you, sending the positive vibes

    • Rhywun

      Thx all again!

      *runs to bathroom*

    • Trigger Hippie

      Don’t shoot your steak, it’s already dead.

      • UnCivilServant

        “”Brai-Moooo-ns”

        Sounds undead to me, shoot it.

    • Chafed

      Hi fellow gun nut. Any insight on 12 above?

      • Sean

        Semi joking answer posted, but I don’t think anyone knows for sure. Couple of used guns (centerfire pistols) I was watching went for hundreds more than MSRP when new. Things are crazy right now. I did get a good price on that new plinker though.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    However, you don’t have to worry about the solar system tipping over when it’s so out of balance. Those planets are moving really fast and the gyroscopic forces stabilize everything like a top. themoreyouknow.gif

    You can’t fool me. I’ve seen a beach ball with a wheel weight taped to it. There is some serious wobbling going on, these days.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty.

    Somebody will buy my property, and free me from this living Hell?

  19. The Late P Brooks
    • Ted S.

      I’ll take 1 in 4300 odds, thank you very much.

      (At least to their credit the magazine article mentions the actual odds.)

    • Jarflax

      Even according to that model that puts your chance of dying from Covid acquired while flying at 1 in 2.15 million with full rows (1:4300 chance of getting it 1:500 chance of dying from it if you get it (.2% cdc estimate of death rate). Roughly comparable to the odds of dying in a plane crash.

      • mrfamous

        As I mentioned, the study itself uses 1% as the IFR, which raises many obvious questions about the quality of the study.

    • kbolino

      I’d be willing to be that if you took the error bars to the model inputs and propagated them through the calculations the resulting error bars on the predictions would dwarf the difference between them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Why do you hate science?

      • Ted S.

        My girlfriend used it to blind me.

      • Chafed

        That’s the song you don’t link? You really do hate us.

      • kbolino

        For some reason, people don’t seem to understand that models are just sophisticated hypotheses. They’re useful tools but they don’t short circuit the scientific method. The next step after designing and running a model is to compare its predictions against what actually happens. That is the experiment. Then, based upon those results, you can start to draw conclusions (which may just be, “more research needed”). And peer review, which as noted hasn’t even happened yet in this case, is just a sanity check (and according to Twitter’s engineering team, “sanity check” is now ableist or something). A well vetted hypothesis is still just an hypothesis: the purpose of vetting is not to substitute for experimentation, it’s to ensure that there are no glaring errors or omissions.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Marx did away with all that time-consuming shit. It’s “get your credentials” and “publish science” now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        A publication is a publication, same as downtown.

    • mrfamous

      Is that assuming one of the nearby passengers is infected and can currently transmit the virus?

      “Taking into account a 1% mortality rate according to the statistical model”

      And we’re done here. No one (no one serious anyway) believes this anymore. The high end is 0.7%, the low end is much, much lower, and there’s probably a good reason to suspect that the susceptibility of the average airline traveler is lower than the susceptibility of the average person, even further lowering that number.

      If someone wants to use 0.3%, I’d say that will probably prove high, but I’d accept it. 1% is nonsense.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of guns- anybody in the market for a S&W Sigma (Glock copy) .40?

    • Cy

      yezzzz….

    • Ozymandias

      I’m interested, depending upon price (of course). Is it stock (the trigger specifically). Does it feel and shoot like a Glock? I had no problems with the one I was issued for Afghanistan.

      I give TPTB my permission to send my info to Facilitate Commerce!! (I feel like this needs some kind of incantation gif on this site)

  21. UnCivilServant

    I have to applaud the Devolver Ditigal marketting team for creativity. Turning their cancelled convention booth plans into a playble advert using off the shelf assets will get more eyes on their trailers than the convention appearances would have.

    • Nephilium

      Yeah. That story hit my newsfeed today.

      • UnCivilServant

        Getting me to watch a commercial is a high bar to clear. Even if I look at the games they’re selling and go “not interested”

      • Nephilium

        They’ve got some decent games. I enjoyed Ape Out and My Friend Pedro (both of which I played for free in fairness), Hotline Miami is a decent series that’s Nintendo Hard, but has quick resets. Shadow Warrior is an entertaining throwback to a “problematic” game from the 90’s (yet there’s no Redneck Rampage reboot yet).

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m currently looking for the exit to the “Fall Guys” booth, which is a candy-colored nightmare.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, they also included a boss fight for their ad.

      • UnCivilServant

        Their achievements are broken though. I got the achievement for “watch all the trailers” but didn’t get the individual achievements for five of them.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I figured out how to rack up the missing achievements, now I have another “Game” where I have the full suite.

      • Cy

        Holy shit I’d forgotten about Redneck Rampage!

      • Nephilium

        How? You got bonus points for shooting road signs.

        The released the multiplayer version for free!

        I remember articles about it being “problematic” back in the day.

      • Cy

        ’97 release date? I’d have been hooked really hard on Warcraft 2, Duke Nukem and Diablo about that time. The multiplayer and map maker for Duke Nukem was Phenomenal!

      • Nephilium

        I was just thinking earlier today about video game genres that have died. RTS and space dogfighting games were the first to come to mind.

      • Cy

        I still keep Supreme Commander 2 installed. It get a couple hours of play a month. But, yeah… It’s dead.

        It’s a shame about the space fighters, with modern graphics, tech and how inexpensive it would be to build a decent cockpit, you’d think there’d be something out there. Wasn’t that one of the goals of that crowd funded monstrosity that never got released? We’ve got a couple of guys at work that’ve paid huge amounts into a game still not released.

        *googles* Oh, yeah, Star Citizen.

      • Nephilium

        Cy:

        I can’t even imagine what a modern Wing Commander would look like, at a AAA budget.

        FFS, they got Biff and Skywalker for the third one back in the day.

        /loves that series in an unhealthy way

      • UnCivilServant

        You’d have to buy a battle pass to get refills on fuel and ammunition between missions. Any upgrades to your fighter or base would be real cash microtransactions. Cutscenes would be randomly unlocked through loot boxes, and 80% of the campaign missions would be locked away in six different day 1 DLCs

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, and your cast would be limited entirely to alphabet people of non-white skin tone.

      • Nephilium

        UCS: Ole’ Blue Hair will never die!

        Even when he became Mark Hamill. Although there was an entertaining story back in the day when Mark Hamill didn’t believe Thomas Wilson won an award for playing Maverick.

        /remembers shooting Maverick as a first thing in WC1

      • Cy

        You forgot the roided up bull dyke Sergeant and the trans-Lieutenant. Throw in a smidgen of no-agency enslaved aliens and we’ve got ourselves a Disney contract.

  22. R C Dean

    “The ingenious mind turned to cunning and intrigue.“

    You rang?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    For some reason, people don’t seem to understand that models are just sophisticated hypotheses. They’re useful tools but they don’t short circuit the scientific method. The next step after designing and running a model is to compare its predictions against what actually happens.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you, some sort of objective reality fetishist?

    The model induces reality. That’s what “predictive” means.

    • Suthenboy

      *Community of climate scientists stand and give opera applause*

    • Jarflax

      Isn’t that the whole idea behind all of the nonsense from the left? If you can just figure out the proper levers to change people’s beliefs and perceptions you have changed reality. They take the trivially true statement “Human perception does not perfectly map to reality” and proceed by various leaps and assumptions to the theory that reality can be changed by changing perception.

  24. westernsloper

    In fact, if you don’t mention Uranus (which nobody does, it’s in poor taste and we’ve all been tired of the jokes since the 7th grade) the planets are actually occupying a narrow wedge

    *snicker

    Speak for yourself stargazer.

    • Nephilium

      We renamed Uranus years ago.

      • westernsloper

        HA!

      • Ozymandias

        Okay, that was funny.
        (Nice pull, Neph, because that worked perfectly.)

  25. AlmightyJB

    Finally, Virgo gets a break:)

  26. Incentives Matter

    Gemini: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss

    Man, being a Gemini on this site really sucks.

    • westernsloper

      Who would do that job? Fuck that.

  27. Nephilium

    Rewatching the Gentlemen on a lazy Sunday. A line just resonated with me. It’s an enforcer/fixer for a marijuana grower/dealer talking to some heroin addicts:

    If you lot are unhappy, you should share your thoughts with your friends. Nice friends, talk it out, find a positive solution. No, all you lot choose squalor. Drowning in your liberal white guilt.

    What am I guilty of?

    Being a cunt Brown, being a cunt.

    • kinnath

      I bought a new safe to store all the ammo I have. It is full, there is no more room.

      And yet, I feel compelled to check ammo sites every couple of days to buy more.

      The good news, I suppose, is that prices are so bad I haven’t bought anymore ammo.

      • R C Dean

        I justify my “excess” ammo purchases as TEOTWAWKI trade goods.

      • kinnath

        Between March and May I picked up three rifles and many thousands of rounds.

        I can practice regularly for a couple of years now without buying more.

        But it still not enough for TEOTWAWKI.

      • Nephilium

        I figure if we hit TEOTWAWKI, I’ll work through my beer and liquor collection, and offer up my services as a cook/brewer.

      • Suthenboy

        Addictive, isn’t it?
        My Scrooge McDuck swimming pool is full of brass and lead. What in hell would I do with gold?

      • kinnath

        I just now see that this is not where I thought I was posting it.

      • Cy

        I’ve been hooked on looking at trailerable deep sea fishing boats and watching wahoo speardiving videos. It’s better than reading any news sites.

      • Cy

        Damn it… I’m at work. Let me step outside and bring it up on my cell.

      • Cy

        That looks like a great project. How far along are you?

      • westernsloper

        Replaced the transom (with some mods), demo’d the deck and raised the stringers for a new one instead of the two part cap to hull contraption as boats were built in the day, (and still are). Now it sits covered waiting for me to win the lottery so I can finish it. I paid more for the trailer than the boat.

      • Cy

        “I paid more for the trailer than the boat.”

        You’re ahead then.

        I’ve been eyeballing the Grady White Marlin 30’s. There’re some really nice ones for a reasonable price from the 90’s. It’s trailerable and double as a place for the kids to sleep if we’re traveling or staying at a campground.

        Going to go with a slide in camper over a crew cab f-550 flatbed. Probably have some nice boxes installed to fit just right under the slide in camper gaps.

        Between the camper, the boat and the pick up there won’t be too many place we can’t have a good time and stay pretty comfortable.

      • westernsloper

        I like the Grady White’s. Good boats. I knew I wanted a boat so I sold my toy hauler and bought a slide in camper so I could pull it back when I got that thing. I love the old Mako’s. Times changed and I had to sell the truck, the camper and a few more things but I kept the boat. It is not worth selling as it sits.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think I might switch to buying one of the oddball calibers i have. Still inventory and formerly dissuading price is now less than mainstream calibers. I’m not going to pay over $1/round for 5.56. At least, not yet.

    • Cy

      I like the part coming up next with the chase scene that ends in the alley. STOP FUCKIN ABOUT!

      • Nephilium

        Did that cunt just call me a black cunt?

      • Cy

        It was a REALLY good movie. Still not as good as Rock n Rolla.

      • Nephilium

        I bought it (digitally, but still). I think it ranks up with Snatch and Lock Stock.

        I now see Rock n Rolla is available for free on Tubu, so I may have to give it a roll.

      • Cy

        My favorite movie quote:

        Lenny Cole:
        And I shed a tear. I shed a tear for all those bone-tops that read the papers and believe that shit. But did you see his body? Did you see him smacked-up and cracked-up with his tongue on his chin and his cock in his hand, swinging from the rafters like a real RocknRolla? No, you didn’t, did you? And nobody else f***ing did either, did they? Because he ain’t dead. He’s alive, alive-o somewhere selling cockles and mussels and a very important painting that doesn’t belong to him.

      • Nephilium

        I have far too many favorite movie quotes (and TV quotes).

  28. Hyperion

    “Capricorn: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.”

    WTF!? THIS SHIT IS GETTING OLD!

    #CapricornsRpeople2

    • Mojeaux

      Did they even commit a crime?

      • Suthenboy

        If you mean by ‘crime’, breaking the law. No they did not.
        If you mean by ‘crime’, thwarting the glorious revolution, yes…yes they did.

    • TARDIS

      I’d give them some guns and ammo just for a tour of their house.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        It is impressive, the Restoration that is,

    • Q Continuum

      My guess is the prosecutor is Soros-backed. That’s been his MO for a while now; deemphasize national politics and go for local races, especially prosecutors.

      • Suthenboy

        It will be interesting to see who shows up at that slimy commie shitweasel’s funeral. Sooner is better.

      • Jarflax

        That would be a very nice target for a MOAB.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    local gun store offered them a free replacement (and training).

    NO BRANDISHING

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m waiting for a UBACS in pink now.

  30. kinnath

    Time to mow the lawn again.

    • Nephilium

      One fight I wasn’t really committed to was the girlfriend wanting to hire people to cut and take care of the lawn. She’s paying, I’m not, and it’s one less thing I have to worry about.