Sunday Morning More or Less Links

by | Aug 23, 2020 | Daily Links | 249 comments

 

After last weekends onslaught of superbly crafted and immaculately formatted links, I got… nothin’. So I’ll toss in some monkeys, because everything’s better with monkeys.

As with most other days, there are birthdays today, which include un homme qui est anulleé; a guy who never gave up;  another fucking uplifter; a fantastically underrated cartoonist who mastered essentialism; an excellent third baseman who is only forgotten because of who he mentored; the masturbatory fantasy of every young male in the mid ’60s; a guy who really knew how to have a ball; my favorite rock drummer, who was known for his calm and conservative approach to life and music; a woman for whom lampposts and woodchippers were seemingly designed; and a guy who was a constant inspiration to me.

Let’s see what’s happening.

 

What they do when they’re not in rodeos.

 

In a show of completely worthless symbolism, I give you… Congress!

 

It’s almost like it’s a habit.

 

Wait, wasn’t Germany supposed to be some sort of model for us?

 

Go long on Dell.

 

This could work in San Francisco.

 

 

Old Guy Music is one of those deals where a musician has written so many great songs, it’s easy to forget about one. I heard this yesterday while out hiking and was reminded, “Oh yeah, I love it, it’s a terrific song.”

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

249 Comments

  1. Timeloose

    Good morning all,

    Looks like the world is about where I left it befor vacation.

    That is unfortunate.

    • Tundra

      Welcome back.

      And sorry, we tried to fix the place up a little, but it’s a battle.

      • TARDIS

        Woodchipper shortage is a problem.

  2. Ted S.

    a fantastically underrated cartoonist who mastered essentialism;

    Dad claims to have met Bushmiller as a kid and got a Nancy calendar out of it, but the calendar was long gone by the time we were kids. I have no idea if the story is real.

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      I believe

  3. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Re monkeys: “Snatched from their mums”

    They’re treated horribly and that needs to be addressed but come on.

  4. Timeloose

    The urinals in Amsterdam are somewhat a good idea, but who would choose to take a leak into something that looks like that?

    I did get a kick out of the one next to a canal. Who is going to choose going in a urinal when there is a perfectly good water way next to it?

    • limey

      Get ’em spooked with a “Dutch candiru” myth and that’ll make ’em think twice?

  5. Rhywun

    Trump himself regularly votes by mail in Florida.

    TAKE THAT, TRUMP!

    That article was totally fair and balanced. No examples of so-called “fraud” were presented, therefore it doesn’t exist.

    • Nephilium

      CNN earlier this week…

      • Rhywun

        See, only Republicans commit ballot fraud.

  6. Stinky Wizzleteats

    So the Dutch don’t even have the good grace to duck down an alleyway for their public urination? Those things are right out in the open.

  7. Plinker762

    Just what I always wanted to use – a urinal full of bees

  8. Brawndo

    Does anyone actually think Joe Biden wrote that speech?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You sound fat and unable to do push-ups.

    • Grumbletarian

      I guess Biden just lost the Canadian vote.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    “This is going to be like asking an artist to paint a picture without paint. You can’t have a kid do distance learning without a computer,” said Tom Baumgarten, superintendent of the Morongo Unified School District in California’s Mojave Desert, where all 8,000 students qualify for free lunch and most need computers for distance learning.

    Too bad there isn’t some other alternative.

    • Rhywun

      So some of them have computers but nothing to eat.

      Wut?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve heard of a strange technology called books.

  10. Rhywun

    The world’s three biggest computer companies, Lenovo, HP and Dell, have told school districts they have a shortage of nearly 5 million laptops, in some cases exacerbated by Trump administration sanctions on Chinese suppliers, according to interviews with over two dozen U.S. schools, districts in 15 states, suppliers, computer companies and industry analysts.

    See if you can spot the culprit.

    • Old Man With Candy

      The “reporter.”

      • Rhywun

        I’m sorry; try again.

    • Gender Traitor

      Doggone it! My laptop posts too slowly. I think I’ll get a new one. Oh…wait…

  11. Gender Traitor

    a shortage of nearly 5 million laptops, in some cases exacerbated by Trump administration sanctions on Chinese suppliers

    I KNEW it was all his fault!!!1

  12. l0b0t

    Good morning everyone. Sitting on the front porch, noshing on a fresh bagel and having some delightful coffee. Parking is filling up, subway keeps disgorging groups heading for the beach, and it is a beautiful breezy 75°.

    The idea of Shotgun Joe plagiarizing again is just too sweet. I like the buried lead in the article – Joe was able to evade some outlandishly expensive anti-plagiarizing software that his campaign was using because Joe has a problem with originality.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, l0. Back porch and iced coffee (latte style) for me. Now I want a bagel, but I mustn’t spoil my appetite for blueberry-waffles-&-sausage-patties brunch.

      • l0b0t

        HOLY MACKEREL! Blueberry waffles (and pancakes) are my favorite kind. Also, patty is far superior to link when it comes to breakfast sausage; the science is settled.

      • Gender Traitor

        I feel like a traitor (drink!) to Ohio not sticking with Bob Evans sausage, but for superior texture and flavor, it’s Tennessee Pride FTW!

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        FWIW that’s not even the best sausage in TN

        I doubt it ran nationally, but as a kid I was bombarded by this ridiculous Pride ad; it’s worth 30 seconds to remember just how bad advertising could be in the seventies.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now I’m hungry for inbred longpork.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, lordy – I remember that commercial. It almost put me off trying that brand, but it must have been on sale at some point, and we settled on it as our go-to.

  13. Grosspatzer

    Wait, wasn’t Germany supposed to be some sort of model for us?

    Yes, I believe so. 1930’s Germany, right?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of quality journalism

    New York and New Jersey were early hotspots of the coronavirus pandemic but both reported encouraging signs this week.
    New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy tweeted Saturday afternoon that the state saw its lowest number of coronavirus-related hospitalizations since March 24.
    “It’s incredible what we’ve achieved by pulling together as one New Jersey family, but we’re not over the finish line yet. Keep it up,” he posted.

    And New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s office reported in a news release Saturday that the infection rate in the state stayed below 1% for 15 straight days, setting a new record low.
    For the first time in two months, the number of coronavirus related hospitalizations in Mississippi dropped below 1,000, according to Gov. Tate Reeves.
    Meanwhile, other states are reaching troubling milestones.
    California’s death toll is nearing 12,000, the California Department of Public Health said Saturday. With 95 deaths reported Saturday, Georgia broke 5,000 coronavirus deaths.

    What, do we suppose, were the actual deaths toll in those “early hotspots”?

    We don’t need to know that, I guess. Just be assured Cuomo is a hero.

    • juris imprudent

      If I ever roll into a Nevada brothel, I’m going to ask for some journalism like that.

      • Ted S.

        So Winston’s Mom is in Nevada?

    • Rhywun

      New York and New Jersey were early hotspots of the coronavirus pandemic but both reported encouraging signs this week.

      There is currently a big tennis tournament being held in Queens. Amid the usual brain-dead patter there was a bit about how many of the players were probably too scared to come to NYC and then one of the talking heads allowed that the numbers ain’t showing it. I almost fell out of my chair.

    • WTF

      You think it’s because the Dem governors in NJ and NY presided over, by far, the highest death rates in the entire nation?
      Nah, that must just be a coincidence.

    • Agent Cooper

      ““It’s incredible what we’ve achieved by pulling together as one New Jersey family, but we’re not over the finish line yet. Keep it up,” he posted.”

      It’s almost as viruses will virus and whatever humans do is largely meaningless.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    And, of course, MASKS!

    To prevent outbreaks from becoming even more widespread, Dr. Chris Murray said it’s time for local governments to enforce more stringent mask rules.
    “It will take a concerted effort but the impact is extraordinary, it’s really quite extraordinary what it could achieve,” Murray, chief of the University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, told CNN’s Anderson Cooper on Friday night. “It really depends on what our leaders do, (both) as individuals, and what governments do.”
    IHME projected that if nothing about the nation’s approach to prevention changed, death rates would dip in September but rise later in the fall, and the total would reach about 310,000 by December 1.

    But if significantly more people — about 95% of the US population — wore masks, the projection of total deaths from now to December would drop by almost 70,000, he said.

    On the other hand, if governments ease current social distancing restrictions and mask mandates, the daily US death toll could reach 6,000 by December, up from his current prediction of 2,000 daily, Murray said.

    “You see, we put a number in here, and we get another number down there. That number tells us exactly what we want to know. It’s SCIENCE!”

    Now tell us how accurate those models have been, compared to actual outcomes, since this panic was initiated.

    • Sean

      It’s all so tedious.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Has Foochy died of throat cancer, yet?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I just realized that article is from March. Yet it appears on the front page of our local paper’s website.

      Quality journalism.

    • Rhywun

      OFFS.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The funny part is I thought it had been closed for construction. Little did I know I couldn’t drive down that road due to COVID.

  17. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    I hope you and the crew are well and that the heat has died down a bit. Fucking humid as hell here.

    I think sometimes you get a malicious thrill from providing lynx that you know will challenge arterial integrity. I think my blood actually comes close to boiling when I read shit like this:

    “It’s a tough one because I’m not condoning child slave labor for computers, but can we not hurt more children in the process?” said Matt Bartenhagen, IT director for Williston Public Schools in North Dakota, a district of 4,600 waiting on an order for 2,000 Lenovo Chromebooks. “They were supposed to be delivered in July. Then August. Then late August. The current shipping estimate is ’hopefully” by the end of the year.

    No, it’s not a tough one, you fucking mid-wit. Open. The. Fucking. Schools.

    Blah.

    At least you brought my BP way down with that Mulvey song. He is really good. I’ve been enjoying The Trouble With Poets, so thanks for that!

    I hope you all have a fantastic day. Don’t let the motherfuckers get you down!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Imagine that, a massive increase in demand combined with production interruptions led to a shortage.

      • Sean

        I miss cheap, plentiful ammo.

      • Tundra

        I keep telling the Branch Covidians that almost everything they have purchased since the lockup started was well in the pipeline.

        I also tell them that I’m hearing rumblings about raw materials shortages. When I can’t buy steel, everyone is fucked.

        I’m so fucking tired of people who think that manufacturing is magic, like energy production.

        Fuckheads.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Mal-educated

        The construction cycle is headed down now from interruptions to the bidding process in March.

        Electronics manufacturing relies on even longer cycles.

      • Rhywun

        Are you telling me that you can’t just press a button and out pops a laptop?!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. is a myth.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::ideals shattered::

      • Timeloose

        The come from the same place that electricity comes from. But the holes are in China not your wall.

    • Sean

      “Open. The. Fucking. Schools.”

      ??

      turns out my gf is going back in person .

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I had heard the elementary schools were opening first.

    • Old Man With Candy

      The song The Trouble With Poets is one of SP’s two favorites (the other being Trempealeau). During one of his live shows we attended, while he was performing The Trouble With Poets, he added in a recitation (without breaking rhythm and chord pattern!) of Ozymandias. Brilliant.

      Peter did a house show for us back in our Illinois days, and it was magical.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Murderer

    Springfield police are looking for a man who allegedly gave a Walmart shopper a “Covid hug.”
    The police department in Massachusetts said the incident took place at a Walmart on August 15 around 7:10 p.m.
    The suspect, whom the victim had never seen before, took an item out of his hand and then gave him a hug.
    “Just giving you a Covid hug. You now have Covid,” the suspect said before laughing and walking away, according to the Springfield Police Department.

    Reverse faith healing.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I know that’s fake attention seeking and I didn’t even have to click on the link. Pull the recordings and get back to me.

    • Rhywun

      I miss Rainbow Parties.

  19. limey

    Apparently retweeting a photo of Bill Barr seated next to a young woman on a plane = eViDeNcE iCkY cOnSeRvAtIvEs aRe pEdOpHiLeS. Am I missing something here?

    • Ted S.

      And if you’re Mike Pence and refuse to put yourself in such a situation, you’re an icky conservative misogynist.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No photo link? I need to judge.

  20. Plinker762

    Some Spokane county CCPV numbers:
    Positive test results for people under 50: 70%
    Percentage of deaths for people under 50: 2%

    • Sean

      How many of those positive tests had symptoms? How many were false positives?

      My gf has to get Vid tested before going back to work. I told her to be prepared for a bogus positive.

      • Plinker762

        Lol, like our saviors have time for such meaningless stats. I don’t even know how if one can find if they recount additional positive tests for the same person.

        I know a couple of people that had it with mild symptoms. One in her late 20s and the other in her 60s.

    • Rhywun

      Sounds like they followed Donald’s advice to stop testing so much.

    • Timeloose

      That is great. “There’s Andy Ngo!!!!”

  21. The Late P Brooks

    More of that quality journalisming

    When Jo Rae Perkins walked over to greet us for the very first time, she did not introduce herself or ask our names, the first thing she did was move her hand across her face and say, “What are these things on your faces?”

    I couldn’t hear her, so I walked closer. Perkins, who is running for the US Senate after winning the Oregon Republican primary, made clear in the first minute of our meeting that she does not believe in the science behind wearing masks in the middle of the deadliest pandemic the world has seen in 100 years.
    “What did you say?” I asked her.

    “What are these things?” Perkins repeated circling her mouth with her hand.
    “What are what things? What are you asking?” I responded
    “Those things covering your faces, I can’t see you guys?”
    “Oh, masks?” I said
    “Oh, thank you,” she said.
    “Do you not believe in wearing masks?” I responded.
    “Do you see one?” Perkins replied.
    “I do not. But what’s your answer?” I said.
    “No,” Perkins said
    “Why not?” I replied.
    “They do absolutely nothing to protect you,” she said confidently.
    So I asked, “How do you know that? Are you a scientist?”
    “No, I don’t need to be a scientist. I’ve done tons of reading,” Perkins retorted.
    “Oh. Are you a doctor?” I asked.
    “I don’t need to be a doctor either. I know how to read,” she said with a chuckle.
    At the time we talked, America had lost nearly 170,000 lives to Covid-19, and the nation’s top scientists continue to say masks help stop its spread. Top economists say a nationwide mandate could curtail economic pain. Perkins is convinced otherwise. She scoffs at advice given by America’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, and she believes that the Covid-19 death toll is being manipulated.
    “I totally believe that that the numbers are doctored,” Perkins said. “Because they can destroy the economy. They can blame it on President (Donald) Trump, that the economy is not doing good. Look at how phenomenal the economy was doing.”
    She is convinced of this because of who she talks to and what she reads, which she says is varied. Her reading also includes missives from an anonymous poster on message boards called “Q.”

    Spot the gullible ignoramus.

    • Rhywun

      The CNN reader?

    • mrfamous

      “the nation’s top scientists continue to say masks help stop its spread”

      Indiana Jones: “Which scientists?”
      Reporter: “Top scientists.”
      Indiana Jones: “Which ones?”
      Reporter: “TOP. SCIENTISTS.”

      • Old Man With Candy

        What do I need to do to be a Top Scientist?

      • R C Dean

        Mutable principles?

      • Pine_Tree

        To be a figment of their imagination?

      • Ted S.

        Stop being a Bottom Scientist?

      • Grosspatzer

        Publish a paper on dreidls?

      • Hyperion

        How much commie bullshit can you spew in record time?

    • Viking1865

      “No, I don’t need to be a scientist. I’ve done tons of reading,” Perkins retorted.
      “Oh. Are you a doctor?” I asked.
      “I don’t need to be a doctor either. I know how to read,” she said with a chuckle.

      The “reporter” seems to think this is ludicrous anti-intellectualism, but the fact is that everyone who’s not an actual subject matter expert is choosing to read (or more likely watch) someone else’s opinion and believe that based on whatever factors they choose to weigh. No one is actually going back to school for epidemiology to understand COVID, they’re just believing whatever SCIENCE they are choosing to.

      NPC Reporter believing whatever the CDC is saying this week about masks (because remember, they changed their minds) thinks he is Very Educated and Smart, and the person who’s digging up lots of different sources and considering what they say is Super Fucking Dumb. Mask skeptics have scientists and doctors on their side, just like pro-mask people.

      It would be amusing, if it weren’t for being so dangerous.

      • mrfamous

        The QAnon thing at the end is becoming commonplace now. The “anti-maskers” are being routinely tied to the “anti-vaxxers” and now “QAnon” as a shorthand to alert people that these are kooks who believe in weird things. That the “anti-maskers” believe what almost everyone in the field believed as recently as 5 months ago is neither here nor there.

      • Hyperion

        I was talking to a longtime friend on the phone again, last night and we somehow got into politics, which we rarely do, but a lot more recently. Maybe he has some TDS.

        So he once again claims to be libertarian and brings up Jojo, or whatever her name is again and asks me if I’m considering voting for her.

        I said ‘No, probably not, I haven’t paid any attention to her, but some of my friends online, says she has some lefty policy positions and that doesn’t work for me. Really I don’t take the libertarian party seriously anymore after last elections fiasco.’.

        He seemed surprised. So we got onto something else and he brings up Snopes again. He said something like ‘Well, if anyone need to fact check something is true or not, they can just go to Snopes.’. I laughed and said ‘So, this Snopes is the sole arbiter of the truth now? You’re too smart for that. I don’t know who they are and I’m not trusting one source to believe anything, or not.’ But every ‘fact’ checking I’ve seen so far, tend to be left biased, like most of the media.

        He also thinks Fox is worse than CNN. Well, that’s quite an accomplishment for Fox.

        Not sure what is up with that guy.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      170 000 doctors. Would like a link to that.

      What’s troubling about linking ‘anti-maskers’ to ‘anti-vaxxers’ is the former actually has the body of evidence on its side.

      170 000 doctors could just be or mean they’re supporting it on the precautionary principle and little else.

      And doctors aren’t PPE experts. This shit has to stop.

      • Hyperion

        97% of scientists believe you should wear a mask. The science is settled.

    • limey

      America’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci

      Right.

      Her reading also includes missives from an anonymous poster on message boards called “Q.”

      I wonder if she gave any indication whatsoever that this is the case, or if the “journalist” here decided to tack that on to discredit her. Either way, what a moron.

      • Hyperion

        Don’t talk shit about America’s most beloved doctor! That’s America’s doctor! CNN said so!

  22. Timeloose

    I went to the gun store yesterday to see if the carnage was real.

    No Ammo but weirdo calibers (like 9mm Largo) and hunting rifle, no AR platform rifles, no shotguns, a few high end and used old pistols, and lots of newbies.

    The owner was happy as hell, he would have sold out of any glocks or ARs if he could get some in stock.

    No reloading brass, primers, or equipment.

    While there he sold 5 pistols to new owners and 2 lever action rifles to new gun owners. He informed me he gave out more safety pamphlets this month than Last year combined.

    He had a person call to see if he had reloading powder in stock, but the caller had no idea what type of powder he needed. A 1st time reloader with no clue about the fundamentals. That is the state of things.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I reload my brass with C4.

      • Plinker762

        Do you scatter in on the ground in the occupied zones?

    • Plinker762

      There has been plenty of M1 Carbine ammo available online. Looks like I’ll be shooting mine a lot more.

      • Tejicano

        One of the many reasons I have never thought to try to maintain the smallest number of calibers in only mainstream offerings. The more off-the-wall but useful firearms I have the more likely I will be able to find bullets for something I can shoot.

        And back when I lived in the US I always had loading dies for all of them – even 7.62X39mm.

    • Timeloose

      They did have a gold plated (TiN) Desert Eagle 50AE in stock. It looked like something a 9 foot tall pimp from the 70’s would carry. The scale seemed wrong, it’s huge.

    • Animal

      Interestingly, it seems like online auction prices on old Model 12s and Belgian Brownings are actually down a little.

    • Hyperion

      Wow, they’re really going to load up when Beta gets all the guns. Maybe they just put them on a big ship and… wait, we can’t do that, pollution. Send them into space?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    A while back, I saw a couple of commercials on the teevee asking plague “survivors” to donate plasma.

    What ever happened to that? Haven’t seen any, lately.

    • Timeloose

      Fake news, immunity is a false narrative created by the Russian puppet in the Whitehouse.

      • Tejicano

        ACKSHULLY – it was invented by his handlers in Moscow but I get your drift…

    • R C Dean

      It was driving down the death toll, so they stopped doing it. Kinda like HCQ.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        The health commissioner of Virginia said there were no treatments ergo mandatory vaccines.

        I think he let slip up maybe there’s indeed some kind of plot or scam involving Big Phama as conspiracist say. He’s not alone. In March the Quebec government said they would look at making it mandatory. In March.

        Something is rotten.

        RFL-100
        HCQ
        Plasma tranfusions.

        Those are three treatments that work.

        So the question becomes why is he lying? He’s a LIAR.

      • Ted S.

        Mandate it for all government-sector workers first and see if there are any adverse effects.

      • limey

        UCS hardest hit.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Masks are the new pink.

      MASKS are the trick, see?

    • leon

      I’ve said it before, but I don’t know who looks at history and says, you know who were good: the Jacobins and the instigators of the reign of terror.

      • Viking1865

        They’re only looking at the history they were told. I keep coming back to this: the schools and universities are explicitly lying to people. It’s not even like the old Stalinist “The famines were natural, not caused by policy”. It’s straight up propaganda.

        The French Revolution is taught as “libertie, egalitie, fraternitie” and there’s zero mention of things like the persecution of the Catholic Church or the genocide in the Vendee. I listen to the BBC’s podcast In Our Time, which is a great show where they take an event or person or idea and dig into it. There’s a host and three experts on the topc. So they did the French Commune, and when the government retook Paris the troops from the Vendee were in the forefront. These three experts, genuine scholars of 19th century history, were puzzled why the troops took such glee in murdering Communards, they were dismayed that the peasants were so easily misled by the ruling class, whipped into a fury by priests. These are the sons and grandsons of people who had an actual genocide perpetuated on them by the Parisian Left, and the so called experts couldn’t understand why they were murdering the absolute shit out of their oppressors intellectual, political, and moral descendants.

        The average persons understanding of the French Revolution is “The king was wicked, and so was the aristocracy, and then the people rose up and freed their country from feudalism, and then they got a bit carried away and executed the aristocracy.”

        This goes to every single historical event. Like, I was talking the Spanish Civil War with a guy who fancied himself a big fan of military history, and was very interested in the first half of the 20th century. He had absolutely no idea that the Spanish Republicans were in fact socialists, and that the Soviet Union was backing them. Just had no clue. Because he wasn’t taught that.

    • limey

      Peaceful vandalism.

  24. robc

    Isnt Dell privately held? Or did they go public again.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Never enough

    Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took a swipe at the Democratic National Convention Friday, telling her fans on Instagram that the program had not been geared to progressives like herself.

    “Would I have done things differently? Of course. But as a young progressive Latina I know I was not the target audience for this convention. The target audience for this convention was white moderates who aren’t sure who they’re voting for in November,” she said.

    “Do I agree with centering the programming on that audience? Not necessarily. I think we could have done more to rally turnout enthusiasm from our party’s base,” she continued. “Muslims has ZERO representation which is just utterly crazy to me — we need the turnout Ilhan [Omar] and Rashida [Tlaib] delivered in their primaries.”

    The base, despite what sane people may think, is really defined by radical splinter groups trying to see who can yell the loudest. It’s the tantrum-throwers and burn-it-all-down feral children who will sweep the Democrats and their senile figurehead to victory.

    Then we will see a wave of creative energy such as the world has never known.

    • Rhywun

      The constant hectoring of racist America wasn’t enough. Do better, Democrats. ??

    • creech

      “Then we will see a wave of creative energy such as the world has never known.”
      Opposed, perhaps, by a new and nastier Tea Party?

    • Tundra

      I want one of these.

      But I’m probably too chicken to wear it.

    • TARDIS

      I love black olives on my pizza. Fight me.

      • R C Dean

        So racist.

        You didn’t capitalize “Black”.

      • Timeloose

        Black olive and sausage together. My favorite pizza toppings

      • Gender Traitor

        Make sure it’s Italian sausage and you’ve got yourself the perfect pizza.

        Would also accept pepperoni with the black olives.

      • Timeloose

        Italian crumbled of course.

      • Gender Traitor

        Hoh yus!

      • Rhywun

        I would also accept pepperoni after you toss out the olives.

      • Viking1865

        Pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, onions, black olives.

        Chase it with 2 liters of water, and make sure to get your wedding ring off before hand because its borderline LD50 levels of sodium.

  26. Rufus the Monocled

    The Democrats are another level of lunacy. As if all they’ve done and said these past four yeas wasn’t enough, the they go still more bonkers on USPS and their ‘leader’ rips off not only a Canadian but fricken a hypocrite socialist in Jack Layton.

    How in the world does this party have support? Or how it it be possible Biden has a chance? It can’t be.

      • TARDIS

        I haven’t heard that in for a long time, but it’s too early for that. *Replays Old Man’s tune.

    • Ted S.

      Team Blue are the New Dictators, after all.

      • Grosspatzer

        “New Dictators”. Excellent band name.

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    Gretchen looks like Great.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      ARGH. UGH.

      Let’s start over.

      Gretchen looks like Greta.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        It’s ok, man. We all have our kinks.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    I’ve said it before, but I don’t know who looks at history and says, you know who were good: the Jacobins and the instigators of the reign of terror.

    True justice does not need consensus. Or rationality. It must be swift and terrible.

    • juris imprudent

      And sweep aside all who do not accept the faith!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    weirdo calibers (like 9mm Largo)

    That’s what my Llama 1911 eats. 9mm largo/ .38 super

    • Timeloose

      I like 38 super. They had that as well. The owner prides himself on having ammo for everything he sells.

      He keeps some regular stuff in the back so he can always sell a box to a new owner.

    • AlmightyJB

      Do you have one of those engraved Llamas? I remember seeing some pretty cool ones in gun magazines as a kid. I have a .38 S&W which I thought until recently was the same as .38 Special. Evidently your not supposed to use .38 Special in those which I’ve been doing for 25 years or so. Oops!

  30. Rufus the Monocled

    The fact BLM got 100 million and continue to get corporate donations means this ‘civl war’ will continue for a while.

    This is starting to feel like (they’ve already burned down Federal buildings and beaten up and killed people) those South American class war incidences in the 1950s or of the European variety was saw in the 70s and 80s with leftists terror groups.

  31. C. Anacreon

    Just got back from dropping off our son at the airport for his flight to college. My wife and I just officially became empty nesters. Strange mix of emotions right now.

    • Tundra

      Congrats! We’re on day 5 and it’s definitely a weird feeling.

      It seems like a good opportunity to seek out some new adventures for ourselves, though.

      • Old Man With Candy

        AND BY ‘NEW ADVENTURES’ MEAN….

      • Tundra

        Monkey sex.

        Duh.

      • Timeloose

        My mom started making eggs and pancakes for the dog every morning after I moved out.

      • Rhywun

        My mom moved to the country and shacked up with her boyfriend like a week after I moved out.

        It took me a few years to figure out that we had only stayed in the city in order to keep me in my (very good) high school.

    • Tejicano

      Yeay y’all! Really, congratulations!

      My two kids are still in grade school so we have a while before that can even be a possibility.

    • Mojeaux

      17yo XX has one foot out the door already. We are encouraging this and hoping for a successful launch.

      XY is 14.5, so… 3.5 more years.

      • Tejicano

        There are various recruiters who would be willing to speak with your XX if her BMI is within a given range and there are no medical conditions which would bar military service.

        (I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I hadn’t taken that route at the same age myself)

      • Lachowsky

        I have 16+ minimum to get rid of the little one. Its gonna be awhile.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    This is starting to feel like (they’ve already burned down Federal buildings and beaten up and killed people) those South American class war incidences in the 1950s or of the European variety was saw in the 70s and 80s with leftists terror groups.

    Needz moar South African necklaces.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    That fucking lying sack of shit Steve Buillock is on my teevee telling me how much he believes in gun rights. He’s got the Fudd shot of himself and some other people with their deer rifles and vests.

    He doesn’t mention his repeated veto of Constitutional carry.

    He also parrots that “public health, not politics” nonsense about gun control.

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      at least you’re not watching CBS: let’s interview a hysterical teacher and not correct any of her mispronouncements on the virus

      this is the dumbest year ever

      Americans have never been dumber

      this is the spidey sense, the hair going up on the back of my neck as I know that everything that is important will be ruined soon in a stampede; there’s no where to hide, there’s not enough ammo: humans are dumb, Americans are no longer special, and I’m going to miserable until the instant I’m swept away

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Nah, it’s not that bad yet. You might have to unescape Texas or move to another “hick” part of the country if you want normalcy though.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ” I’m going to miserable until the instant I’m swept away” already underway at Chez Yusef

      • Hyperion

        “Americans have never been dumber”

        Don’t worry, public school is there to make sure they are even dumber by next year.

      • Rhywun

        And it’s not just Americans.

        🙁

      • Hyperion

        I remember 8 years ago when my wife was talking some college courses here and one day she was sitting at the table with one of her books. I sat down by her and read a few pages as she went.

        I said ‘What the fuck is this? Every single paragraph was loaded with identity politics points. Seriously, it was nauseating. None of that stuff needed to be said, but every single instance they had to make a point about the actual subject, they used identity politics as an example to make the point. ‘Elaine was a star basketball player in the female league. Even though Elaine makes far less than her male peers and cannot afford healthcare…’.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    OMFG! Trump is preying on the fears of the normies!

    He says he’s the only thing standing between us and dystopian anarchy. That’s nuts.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    ROOOOSHUNZ!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      “My decision to wear a mask protects you, and your decision to wear a mask protects me.”

      • Rufus the Monocled

        What is it with lawyers and their fetish for coercion?

        https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2020/08/19/2011674117

        Then the fool links to this study.

        Is it me or whenever they link to PNAS the studies never come through empirically? Just conclusions of ‘suggestions’ and ‘it is ‘advisable.’

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        That sounds like something Barney would sing.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The author works for a guy who’s only too happy to mandate soda sizes. Of course he’s going to advocate for a mask mandate.

    • Gender Traitor

      This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the editorial board or Bloomberg LP and its owners.

      …but yeah, it does.

    • Hyperion

      Until the government can force you to do everything it wants you to do, and ban everything you want to do, we can never be safe. Who doesn’t want to be safe?

    • mrfamous

      Could tell from the headline that this was Sunstein. I can’t believe there are still people out there that believe in the concept of “karma.”

  36. Aus

    Dell laptops are superior to HP laptops.

    Change my mind!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Agreed, I don’t know about the components but in my experience HPs come from the factory just loaded with bloat.

      • Nephilium

        The HP laptop shell is also terrible (at least for my work provided one), if you rest your wrists or hands on the plastic around the touchpad, it moves the mouse…

    • Hyperion

      HP is shit, so your point is confirmed.

      My client switched from Dell to HP. I think it was mostly for the deal they got on server hardware, but we got the PCs too in the deal.

      I can’t remember what exactly I was doing, but I took mine apart and one of my co-workers walked over and we were looking at it. And my comment was ‘What the fuck is this?’. Did they get this hardware out of a chinese landfill?’. The HD just had some Chinese writing on it, no idea who made it. Cheapest hardware you can buy.

      Dell makes good stuff.

      • Hyperion

        Also, I got a Dell laptop with it. It’s OK because I never use it.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Dell and HP laptops are equivalent pieces of shit.

      Spend a few dollars more and get an MSI laptop. I got one last year and will never buy another Dell or HP again unless as a throwaway for the kids.

    • Agent Cooper

      You misspelled “MacBook Pro”

  37. The Late P Brooks

    “My decision to wear a mask protects you, and your decision to wear a mask protects me.”

    My decision to wear the swastika protects you, and your decision to wear the swastika protects me. We know we’re on the same team. We’re working together to make the world a better place.

    • Drake

      Gotta throw a star in there. Protect me from dealing with anyone who believes something different.

    • creech

      Does anyone yet know how ChiComVirus spreads from one person to another? Would distancing by eight feet without masks, lessen the spread compared to wearing masks and distancing at six feet? By airaesol droplets from infected persons or from something else: having racist thoughts, commenting on libertarian sites, being a gun nut, rooting for the Yankees, eating (God forbid) pineapple on pizza?

      • Hyperion

        It spreads by wrong think. As soon as bad orange man is gone and wrong think is eliminated, it will go away.

      • creech

        That’s what I suspect too, as does my spouse’s ex, an emergency room doctor. His view is that masks are minimally effective but “why not be cautious.” No masks but ten feet distance, and hand washing, is what he would prescribe. He always wore one in ER because docs have to talk and didn’t want his germs (if any) falling into patient’s open wounds or didn’t want nasty fluids from patient spraying into his nose and mouth.

      • Tejicano

        “..You can’t pick it up at a BLM or Antifa protest…”

        Well, obviously goodthink will protect you from the evil humors.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Do you have one of those engraved Llamas?

    Nope. Plain Jane.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Charity is for chumps

    In functioning high-income countries, the government guarantees the provision of essential goods and services: medical care, transit between cities, supplies for public schools, financial support to weather a period of unemployment. But here, the government often fails to provide them. Need gives birth to invention, as well as deprivation.

    ——-

    America insists on repeating this lesson over and over and over again, never really learning it: No amount of private initiative or donor generosity can or will ever do what the government can. First, individuals, nonprofits, and companies simply don’t have the resources to provide public services at scale.

    Governments, unlike individuals, can just print money indiscriminately. They don’t have to prioritize. That’s what makes them special.

    Learn to love Big Nanny.

    • juris imprudent

      A bureaucrat’s love is very different from that of a citizen.

      • Hyperion

        They have to look out for the little people.

    • Hyperion

      Whatever he announces will be damned as worse than poison by the media. Does he just do this for fun?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Maybe the Russian vaccine (which is fine with me as long as it isn’t mandated)?

      • Hyperion

        We knew he’s in bed with Putin!

      • Urthona

        I wouldn’t even be surprised if the Russian vaccine works. We have about 8 here that probably work, but they have to go through mass testing now.

      • Hyperion

        We’ll know in 20 years if they are safe.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Jeezis. Now there’s a mask ad: “A protects B protects C protects D…..”

    And the people in the ad are all in their twenties. Because if you’re in your twenties, a single whiff of plague cooties will KILL YOU!

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      I saw that the other day. I think it’s for Uber. It really turned me off from ever using their service.

  41. Hyperion

    ‘It’s almost like it’s a habit.’

    “Light is more powerful than dark.”

    Someone’s a racist.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Knowledgeable sources near the President are APOPLECTIC that he doesn’t denounce and repudiate Qanon!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sure they are…
      “Go out there and denounce your most ardent supporters Mr. President.”
      said no advisor worth more than a plug nickel ever.

    • Hyperion

      Also remember to denounce all right wing deplorables, we have a presidential race to win!

    • hayeksplosives

      All the stuff people used to warn us would happen in a distant “big government” time in the future is coming true.

      It seemed so outlandish at the time: papers for interstate travel, government taking kids away, fiat currency, graft and cronyism everywhere, drag queen reading hour, careers sunk by social media posts of wrong think, boys in girls sports, taking our guns…even I didn’t see a mask mandate coming.

      • Hyperion

        The scariest thing is that when the dems get enough power, they’re going to do some very bad things just to show all us deplorables that they are in charge now.

        I imagine the first thing will be a hard national lockdown and travel bans. They’ll undo it when they start getting blamed for killing the economy and then just pretend that it never happened.

        Then they’ll start pushing gun confiscation and other crazy shit.

        The WHO will get billions in bailout money and the hopeless blue cities will receive trillions for their self inflicted damage.

        Then I imagine since we’ll have the UN and the various other NGOs setting US policies and probably we’ll get INTERPOL on the streets since the cops here are all racists.

        Then get ready for reparations. You don’t need all the money, you white supremacist.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The country would break apart if they tried all of that.

      • Hyperion

        Well, they said they will try all of that. Except the part about the UN and INTERPOL, I don’t think there’s any doubt they’ll try all of that.

      • EvilSheldon

        Interpol doesn’t have any police powers.

      • Agent Cooper

        YOU TRY AND SELL FAKE DVDs IN BELGIUM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

        /s

      • Hyperion

        Also, I definitely think we will get huge and bloated new national health agency that will never go away. And they’ll have full police powers. I can see them on trains taking temperatures or whatever field tests they have decided are good and we’ll be seeing people dragged off and quarantined. It will probably be headed up by Ezekiel Emanuel. And if you’ve the things that guy actually says, it’s a horrifying prospect.

      • Rhywun

        “Children of Men” was a training manual.

    • Rhywun

      The trend was most common in high-poverty, predominantly Black and Latino school districts in Worcester, Springfield, Haverhill, and Lynn; advocates and lawyers reported few, if any, cases from wealthier communities.

      Equity! Disparate outcomes!!

      Why aren’t people fighting back on ↑this↑ basis? Or maybe they are and because the media pays no attention to sensible Black and Brown people, we don’t hear about it?

      • Lachowsky

        It almost like the social justice movement isn’t about social justice.

      • Hyperion

        Well, that’s it. This virus is racist and now we have to forcefully inject whitey with Covid and give any medication that might help to minorities only. It’s only fair.

  43. hayeksplosives

    Good morning, Glibs! Despite the infuriating news, I intend to have a nice day.

    Last night before dinner ( at a restaurant!!) for an appetizer I had bacon wrapped dates stuffed with goat cheese and toasted almonds, with some sort of hot pepper jelly on them .

    OMG. So good. Never knew they existed, but that was a fine taste and texture combo.

    • PieInTheSky

      how much added sugar did they have ?

      • hayeksplosives

        There was some sweetness to the pepper, and the bacon was caramelized, but that’s it.

  44. PieInTheSky

    SO when will most people realize covid is here to stay? for a contagious respiratory virus with so many infected this is never going a way. We need to get that fuck back to normal with it

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      Yuh huh. A vaccine is totes gonna make it all go away. We just have to force everyone on the planet to get it and it’ll all be better. /true-believer

    • mrfamous

      This is “normal” now. The “new normal” is all the rage. Facemasks forever!

      • Rhywun

        “Let’s mask up together!”

        /actual quote from an advert

    • hayeksplosives

      If they tested for antibodies instead of the rapid covid test, I bet they’d find such a high percentage of the population has been exposed and lived, that we can all relax.

      But that means the government giving up some new found powers. That nearly never happens.

      • Lachowsky

        One of the mechanics that work for me had his wife test positive a few weeks ago. The company had him stay home for 10 days and then take a test. He tested negative. And came back to work last Friday.

        This tells me one of two things, either the virus ain’t that contagious, or he already had immunity to it.

        I lean towards the latter, and think that many many more of us already have built up immunity to than we realize.

      • C. Anacreon

        Third possibility: his wife’s test was a false positive.

        For some reason, the government doesn’t want to consider this. Once the positive test comes in, you’re infected, and everything that means begins. Never any retest with a different test to confirm, for example.

        And it’s bizarre. To have a test in medicine with only 5% false positives would be extraordinarily accurate, yet we’re treating the Covid-19 tests as 100% correct. Anything to get the numbers up to prove Orange Man Bad, I guess.

        We got an email today from the NY nursing home MIL is in. A man on her floor, who tested positive for covid three months ago and recovered, died today. Since he had once tested positive, the home was required to report it to NY state as a “covid-related death”, making those death totals continue to climb. Worse for the home, this new “covid death” extends their ban on visitors another 30 days. Poor people living there haven’t seen family members in person for close to six months and counting, but of course it was ok for Cuomo to force the place to take hundreds of active covid patients.

  45. PieInTheSky

    This is the most extraordinary thread. The Chinese Communist Party has weaponised social media against the West, turning us against eachother and making governments adopt society destroying policies. Their success has been breathtaking.

    https://twitter.com/alexmaccaroon/status/1297481079063023622

    • Hyperion

      Wait until the dems get back in power. They’ll show you some real society destroying policies.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m afraid I have to agree with you.

        I am not optimistic.

        My “wealth” such as it is, is in my two 401k accounts. Am I delusional to keep putting money there? Will it inevitably be raided by leftist pols?

    • kbolino

      We are all Lysenkoists now.

      • Hyperion

        That’s why the Soviet Union was so much better the the USA. They had experts. If we had experts, Donald Trump wouldn’t have been able to kill everyone with a virus.

    • PieInTheSky

      right… seems a bit decadent to me

    • mrfamous

      Hey, if it’s good enough for Neil “2.2 million dead Americans” Ferguson, it’s good enough for the rest of us

    • Lachowsky

      In the new U.S., you will have to show papers that prove your non covid exposure before approval for sex will be granted.

      • Hyperion

        It will take between 12 and 18 months to process the forms, so I hope you can wait.

    • PieInTheSky

      cheese for desert

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, please!

    • creech

      I remember being able to get a pint of ale for about 25p (outside London) in the late 70’s. A pound was a little more than two $ as I recall.

      • PieInTheSky

        we need someone old enough to remember pre decimalization prices and use old timey terms like 2 bob

      • Rhywun

        That’s 4 guineas 2/ 3d.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Not that youse can’t look this up by yourselves, but a guinea (£1.05 or 21 shillings) was the customary currency among pretentious places like casinos and auction houses. So anyone insisting upon guineas (e.g., in A Hard Day’s Night) wants his 5%.

      • C. Anacreon

        And Bob’s your uncle.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Decimalisation?

      Ah don’t understand this new money.

      😉

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What is a Pence? a Quid? it’s all so confusing…..

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Jinx, Pie.

        Am not old enough nor British but have a decent grasp of £.s.d; maybe I could fill in if nobody else is available.

      • Rhywun

        IIRC decimalisation wasn’t complete until 1970 (?). So basically everything Brit-related I (b. 1969) read growing up had the old stuff.

    • Lachowsky

      I see you guys have a central bank too.

    • Agent Cooper

      British food? Ugh.

  46. Hyperion

    So, since Falsi and Birkenwokenscarf says it’s safe to vote by mail, can we vote by mail now?

    • Lachowsky

      Would you send a twenty dollar bill in the mail?

      • Hyperion

        That was actually sarcasm, they both said it’s OK to vote at the polls. I was just wondering if the media’s reaction will be something like what I wrote in jest.

        They don’t even try to pretend anymore. I mean when you defend protesters on the streets by the thousands with no social distancing at all, and then you freak out over 50 people attending a church service, you’re beyond a joke.

      • hayeksplosives

        His vote will make it to the counting place (wherever that is) but so will boxes of others that are total frauds.

        /still remembers when Norm Coleman won the Senate race but recount handed the victory to Al Franken when a box of “overlooked” ballots was found. 100 new ballots ALL for Franken, with no other offices voted on, including president. It was 2008. And they say there’s no voter fraud.

      • Rhywun

        Saving that for later

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Great find Pie, pretty kittahs!

    • Gender Traitor

      I thought sure you were talking about these.

      • hayeksplosives

        Me-ow!!