What did you / are you having for dinner? Open Post

by | Sep 15, 2020 | Open Post | 497 comments

I’m making calzones from leftover pizza dough and leftover roasted vegetables and assorted other delicious items that need using.

I’ll probably also have an adequate glass of red wine from a box. (Also, what Bordeaux did you have last night, DblEagle?)

What did/are you doing for dinner tonight?

 

(Or for Pie when he rolls in, breakfast. And the Japanese contingent, lunch.)

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

497 Comments

  1. Cancelled

    Same as every day, bison steak, baked potato, greenbeans

    • SP

      Hey, congratulations on hitting 1/3 of your goal! That’s amazing!!

      • Cancelled

        Thanks, sorry to have been so whingy about it yesterday.

      • SP

        Oh, no worries. I completely get it. It’s sometimes difficult to change one’s life completely.

        /Day…something of 100% plant-based

  2. juris imprudent

    Had leftover steak and turned it into a steak salad (lettuce, cuke, celery, tomatoes from our garden, olives, marinated mushrooms, grated cheddar, Oak Hill Farms vidalia vinaigrette). And a starter/side of Costco shrimpers.

    • SP

      Yum! Except the shrimp, to which I am allergic. (Factoid for those compiling an SP dossier.)

      • juris imprudent

        I dated a woman (pre Mrs JI and post ex) and we were out in Annapolis and of course we went to a seafood restaurant (her choice) when she casually mentions she might have a bad reaction to shellfish. Oh, okay…

      • Raven Nation

        Hah, I took a friend to a KC BBQ restaurant one time. After we got there, she said to me she was vegetarian. I kind of looked at her and she said she thought they would have salads. I laughed. She ended up ordering about 4 side salads.

      • Mojeaux

        Cole slaw.

      • Raven Nation

        And pasta salad.

      • Ted S.

        My dad is allergic to seafood, too, which is why I never got to have it growing up. And why I usually get the fish dish when I go to a restaurant.

      • Plinker762

        I’ll put that down on the spreadsheet

    • Sean

      Nice!

      I’ll skip the sea bugs though.

      • Ted S.

        More for us! 🙂

  3. Urthona

    your mom

    • SP

      Dude, she’s been dead 6 years. Well, I guess Rule 34 and all.

  4. Ted S.

    Meatloaf and a cheap carménère.

    • SP

      That also sounds good. I love meatloaf.

    • juris imprudent

      a cheap carménère

      Chilean I assume. I don’t think I’ve been disappointed in one of those yet.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah.

        And I’ve got a cheap Argentine Malbec in my wine rack.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    I had tuna and crackers, earlier.

    And! Woohoo! I just sold a set of wheels to a guy. Ten bucks is ten bucks. Craigslist actually works, sometimes.

    Now I’m going to sit outside in the pall and have some Rolling Rocks for dessert.

    • SP

      Sounds like a balanced meal.

  6. kinnath

    Calzones from the local pizza joint.

    • kinnath

      reposting from the dead thread

      Staying Alive

      Korean edition.

    • SP

      GMTA

      • kinnath

        Sort of alike.

        I had to go google the acronym 😉

      • DEG

        I had to go google the acronym ?

        #sortofmetoo

        I used urbandictionary.

  7. Mojeaux

    Orange chicken I just dumped a bunch of sesame seeds on.

    • SP

      I only like orange chicken if it isn’t too sweet. Which used to mean making it myself, way back before meeting OMWC.

  8. westernsloper

    Frozen pizza. Long day, got home late and too tired to cook.

    • SP

      Nothing wrong with frozen pizza. Unless it had forbidden ingredients, in which case, it wasn’t really pizza.

  9. TARDis

    Cheese tortellini in cream sauce with pancetta. My wife said it was too much pancetta. I said that’s nonsense. There were no peas though, so I was almost sad.

    • TARDis

      Plus there was store bought cheesy garlic bread. Forgot that.

    • SP

      That also sounds great.

    • juris imprudent

      I make a dish of gnocchi, pancetta, asparagus, and baby bella mushrooms. I haven’t finished it with cream, but I probably should try that.

  10. Sean

    I pulled something out of the freezer, which is sort of unusual for me.

    It was leftovers from something I made months ago.

    50/50 ground sausage and ground beef, seasoned with taco seasoning, and sliced habanero added. Topped with Mexican blend cheese.

    Ketolicious.

  11. straffinrun

    Breakfast for us, SP. Pie is most likely asleep.

    Coffee and ?. Not healthy, but the plate of seaweed I’m having for lunch should make up for it.

    • SP

      I was trying to acknowledge that this would be the last post before the morning links. Ah, well.

      • straffinrun

        I was just worried I overslept.

    • Sensei

      Go for the natto!

  12. Rhywun

    This but cut into small pieces and with a fried shredded potato and sour cream side.

    And this with vodka.

    • straffinrun

      TV dinner?

      • Rhywun

        Every dinner is a TV dinner in my house.

    • SP

      I LOVE sauerbraten!

      • TARDis

        You have good taste. ?

      • db

        So you’re a sauerbraterian?

      • Rhywun

        I can’t recommend these guys enough. Everything from them is top-notch.

  13. Roland of Gilead

    Leftover spaghetti with ground beef and barbecue sauce.

  14. Sensei

    In Japanese there are a certain group of adjectives that end “I”. In conversation and when you are startled or surprised it’s common to drop the “I”. The most common one I know of is “itai” which means pain. So you say “ita” out loud when hurt yourself.

    It never occurred to me you could get yourself in trouble speaking Japanese the same way that poor professor at USC did speaking Japanese. The word for a bitter taste in Japanese is “nigai”.

    https://youtu.be/tTc2lztLd-o

    So somebody needs to explain to this 16 year old girl that I’ve been triggered and need counseling.

    • straffinrun

      That young people way of speaking is annoying AF. Especially when they say “Yabbei” instead of “Yabai”. It’d be like instead of saying “Holy Shit!” you say “Ho Shi!”

      • Old Man With Candy

        That’s how the French do it.

      • Florida Man

        More proof that it is wrong.

      • Cancelled

        The French are good at waste products. The can do some amazing things with bacteria and yeast wastes.

      • Old Man With Candy

        “A fine French cheese must offend at least two of the senses.”

      • Sensei

        It started with kind of a low class guy speak and has now moved to women.

        I’m both old and fluent enough that it annoys me too.

      • straffinrun

        I’ve yet to meet a native Japanese that can use “fuck” correctly.

      • Sensei

        I always chuckle internally as the odds of them pronouncing the final “k” sound properly are already low.

      • straffinrun

        ファ9。

      • Sensei

        Nice…

      • Fourscore

        Context or pronounciation

      • straffinrun

        Con fucking text.

    • db

      The first time I went to China I was warned by our Malaysian sales manager about the notorious filler word…

    • pistoffnick

      The Chinese word equivalent to our “Uhmmm” is niga (nee-ga).

      I know lots of Chinese words, unfortunately most of them are swear words or anatomical words.*

      *taught by itinerant Chinese brick layers who thought it was hilarious

      • Sensei

        Yup. That’s how that professor got tossed under a bus. Of all the recent shit that really boiled my blood.

    • db

      I have been to Japan 3 times now, and my employer has recently been purchased by a Japanese company. I’ll be traveling there 1-3 times per year once this virus nonsense is over.

      1. Best way to quickly learn the language?
      2. I love Japan but could never live there (need my guns!)
      3. When are you supposed to drop the “u”?

      • Sensei

        1. No shortcuts. Whatever works for you is best.

        https://www.glibertarians.com/2018/12/learning-another-language-as-an-adult/

        2. The whole Japanese way of doing business precludes me from working in Japan. And I say this as somebody who worked on Wall St…

        3. The final “u” sound? It isn’t so much omitted as it is pitched way down. So “desu” sound like “dess” to an English speaker, but it is still just barely there.

      • db

        I could tell some stories about QA/QC issues…suffice to say, that numbers and statistics don’t necessarily mean as much as business relationships in Japan, as far as I can tell (going back 10 years now).

      • db

        1. That’s as frustrating as the advice I give to new pistol shooters. But actually, whatever handgun you can shoot the best is the best gun to shoot (for you). There are some fundamentals that are inviolate, but a lot of it comes down to physiology, as I imagine much of languages comes down to psychology. It takes practice, and whatever makes practice fun and results forthcoming, works. I guess I deserve that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s also language schools in Japan with classes as short as a single week. Take an extra vacation week or see if your boss will sponsor you.

        The biggest challenge, imho, is be confident enough to start speaking, even if it’s terrible and limited, because otherwise many interactions will default to English. Once you get over that hump, it gets easier.

      • Tejicano

        1. If you’re single we can probably find a personal instructor who can inspire you to learn the language. It worked for me but I was 19 when I started.
        2. Feeling your pain. I was getting by with frequent enough trips home spliced in with being the unit armorer for my Army Reserve unit here – until I retired from the Army a couple years ago. Now I can’t even go back to the US until this pan(dem)ic cools off a bit.
        3. Sensei pretty well covered that – except to mention that is for the “U” following an “S”. And, when it follows the “S” just before a “K” it is pretty much silent – as in “Yokosuka” while most sailors pronounce “Yokuuska” when it should be more like “Yokoska”

      • db

        Not single, but I learned a long time ago that the best way to learn a new language is by talking to a beautiful woman (Heinlein was right!)

      • Sensei

        My favorite word for demonstrating your third point is pronouncing Asakusa.

      • Gustave Lytton

        2. Space A may be still restricted, but you can now leave and return as a permanent resident as long as you fill out the paperwork before leaving and have a negative test just prior to departure to Japan (plus test/quarantine/public transportation limitations on arrival).

      • Tejicano

        Part of my problem is the location where most of my equipment is is a city which has severe quarantine restrictions. I don’t know how those are enforced – wouldn’t be too big a problem if I can go out to grab a to-go meal as well as get to where my stuff is stored. I could get a lot done on a number of unfinished projects which need to happen before too long. But if they’re really making people hole-up in a hotel and checking on them it could be a big waste of time for me.

  15. one true athena

    Warming some ribs, salad, and some bread I baked today. And cheap wine cuz I occasionally live down to the stereotype of Suburban Wine Mom.

    And I’m making broth out of my chicken carcass, too, for later.

    • Ted S.

      It’s only a stereotype if you’re drinking sweet shit like moscato or white zin.

      • Old Man With Candy

        In the more upscale suburbs, Rombauer Chardonnay (“Cougar Crack”), essentially an equivalent to Kendall-Jackson at triple the price.

      • Florida Man

        I get BOGO wine from Publix. So far, I still have my vision.

    • Crusty Juggler

      You, me, some cheese and crackies, a box of Franzia and all three seasons of Yellowstone, how about it?

  16. Fourscore

    Bacon cheese burger from the air fryer, giant home grown salad and watermelon. Few locals grow watermelon, I harvested about 60, biggest was 18 lbs. I gave away maybe 40, I’ve been eating watermelon X2 a day for at least 3 weeks, another week/10 days to go. Mrs F has begun asking for smaller pieces. When it’s gone it’ll be another year, I don’t buy any, I’m a cheap guy…

    • Count Potato

      That’s a lot of watermelon.

      • Fourscore

        It’s the only way I can keep friends, well that and tomatoes

  17. Tundra

    Steak.

    And more steak.

  18. Old Man With Candy

    Calzones from leftover pizza dough and leftover roasted vegetables and assorted other delicious items that need using.

    • Crusty Juggler

      This guy…

    • SP

      It’s amazing I can see out of the front of my head with how many times and how far back I have to roll my eyes.

  19. Crusty Juggler

    A to go steakhouse burger and a la croix because I’ve been up since 0300.

    Following up by a Jane Walker scotch because I support women doing stuff and stuff.

  20. db

    I had a Klondike ice cream sandwich, and 23 beers. Currently working on a Troeg’s Field Study.

    • DEG

      Troeg’s makes good beer.

  21. Rhywun

    BLM has commercials during hockey playoffs now. Stop the world, I want off.

    At least the Islanders have one foot out the door already.

    • Count Potato

      #BlueLinesMatter

      • Ownbestenemy

        As a hockey player I got a chuckle out of that

    • Urthona

      just saw that.

      it is my white privilege to breathe.

    • db

      Dr. Girlfriend is a big hockey fan. When she watches now, it’s on a stream with no commercials. I wonder what her response would be to seeing the commercials.

  22. blackjack

    I had a monster deli sandwich with about a pound of Boar’s Head roast beef and double cheese. It kind of pissed me off, though, because I asked for sourdough and they made it on rye. Still good, but not the same. I get double meat and double cheese, with just lettuce, tomato and mustard. All of that AND a bag of jalapeno chips.

  23. Count Potato

    I didn’t really have dinner. I had a very late lunch of leftover lemon garlic chicken, broccoli, and rice. Then I recently ate two turkey hot dogs with mustard and india relish on rye bread. I haven’t been able to find whole wheat hot dog buns since March.

    • Crusty Juggler

      “Then I recently ate two turkey hot dogs with mustard and india relish on rye bread.”

      And you people think I am a sick weirdo.

      ” I haven’t been able to find whole wheat hot dog buns since March.”

      Oh my God.

      • Fourscore

        ‘And you people think I am a sick weirdo’

        Why not both?.

  24. straffinrun

    No use of “infused” “pulled” or “baby”. You guys suck. My ? was infused with gluten.

    • blackjack

      Points off for not saying “reduction”

      • straffinrun

        Is that when you burn your Ragu?

      • blackjack

        I was raised by wops, I don’t know what Ragu is! Some form of pre-made gravy, I assume.

      • Count Potato

        Italian-Americans call it “meat sauce”.

      • db

        We have two kinds of Italians around here. I imagine that they all came from different regions of Italy, but depending on what town they live in in this area, they have very different ideas of what constitutes true “Italian” sauce.

      • Plinker762

        Country and western?

      • The Hyperbole

        Ragu is what they call Bolognese meat sauce in Bolognese.

      • Count Potato

        That too.

      • blackjack

        In my family, they called it gravy. If it had meat, it was bolognese, but all sauce was called gravy. They were Sicilians.

      • Count Potato

        That reminds me of the scene when the Soprano crew goes to Sicily, and Pauly Walnuts asks for gravy.

      • blackjack

        That scene reminded me of my grandpa. As does every scene where the whole family argues over how the food gets cooked. Also the scene where the guys in jail and he’s using a razor to slice garlic. I think that was good fellas. My grandfather took about twelve hours to make lasagna. There were no shortcuts, anywhere. Eggs, flour, tomatoes, beef, 5 kinds of cheese, about 6-8 times more garlic than everyone else. I ate good as a kid. He ground up the meat, pressed the pasta, brewed the sauce, all from the most basic materials.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Plain ol baked chicken tonight. Everything else is frozen. Ill be pulling that brisket out soon though to smoke.

  26. Florida Man

    I had hospital grade chicken noodle soup and a side salad with a grapefruit bubbly. I will be drink a martini, Rye or Rum when I get home. Maybe all three.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Speaking of white mom meals…

    • straffinrun

      Hospital grade? Yummy.

      • Florida Man

        I was surprised that they had put curry in the soup. But hey, you get what you pay for, right.

    • Crusty Juggler

      You, me, some cheese and crackies, a box of Franzia and all three seasons of Yellowstone, how about it?

      • Florida Man

        Sure, why not?

      • one true athena

        Propositioning FLORIDA MAN. Of all people. WITH MY FRANZIA. How dare you.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Early bird gets the…you know…this is a phallic reference…

        Pleasure pump.

      • Florida Man

        Hey bartender! What times is it?

      • pistoffnick

        When yo mouth is gettin’ dry
        You pretty high

    • Rhywun

      I only got hospital grade broth in the hospital and I still threw it all up.

      I hope your experience was better.

      • Florida Man

        Sorry to hear. I’ve been eating hospital food for so many years I’ve developed a tolerance, like one with Iocaine.

      • db

        The only times I have eaten hospital food, loved ones have died. Not generally a fan.

      • Rhywun

        At least the salmon was pretty good, after I got my stomach pumped.

    • westernsloper

      Hospital grade = yellow water.

  27. db

    I recently purchased 1/6 of a steer. Looking for brisket smoking recipes/methods. Since this will be my first, I may try a store bought cut first so as to save this beef. The other cuts have been amazing. Even the ground beef has a flavor I have never tasted out of a grocery store.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah buy some cuts first. You plan on doing a whole packer or splitting up the point and flat? Im jealous of your 1/6th

      • db

        It’s in my freezer RIGHT NOW

      • db

        I’ll have to read up on my meat terminology, apparently.

    • juris imprudent

      If you don’t own a Traeger – buy one. You may not make an Aaron Franklin quality brisket, but it will be hard to ruin it.

      • db

        I have a friend who has one. Maybe I can borrow it.

      • The Hyperbole

        Overpriced crap, get a Weber, anything you can do with a Traeger you can do with a Weber, except the “Bluetooth take a walk while your shit’s cooking and still check it’s temp” but who in the fuck does that, the entire reason for BBQ is so one can stand next to ones’s grill drink beer and act like one is cookin’, If your goddamn grill does all that what in the hell is the point!

      • db

        My grill will sure as fuck not drink my beer.

      • juris imprudent

        Webers are nice, but they aren’t smokers. Brisket should be smoked. If we’re going to fight about this, I’ll go all purist on stick-burning smokers.

      • The Hyperbole

        I smoke on my Weber all the time, last night in fact, yeah it’s not a “cold” smoker with two chambers but neither are the Traegers I’ve seen, what exactly makes a Traeger a smoker and a Weber not a smoker? The Traegers slowly feed the fire with wood pellets but I can do the same thing on my Weber, may be more ‘hands-on’ but that just you cooking.

      • juris imprudent

        I personally don’t want to be checking a fire every 20 minutes, for 8 to 10 or more hours. That’s what makes a Traeger worth the money (although maybe I’m out of date – I bought mine 8, maybe 9 years ago). Not cheap, but also not as expensive as some other pellet burners. I also have a Char-griller gas/charcoal grill – gas for when I want quick heat or charcoal when I want to do a classic grilling. Next thing I want for outdoor cooking is a Blackstone.

        Different tools for different jobs.

      • Cancelled

        I’d expect someone as purist about cooking as you to have made a grill from cut in half 55 gal. drums for smoking brisket.

      • Gustave Lytton

        8-9 years ago would have been after they started manufacturing in China but before they sold out to the current owner/CEO/asshole. Fuck Traeger. I won’t give them a cent.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Using the snake method, I can go 3-5 hours without checking it. Takes some calibration, but you can get consistent temperatures even at the lower end.

      • westernsloper

        I finish my briskets and pork butts on a 30 year old Brinkman with hickory chunks or one of the others (propane or electric) if I am lazy. Hype is right on this point. While I would love to be able to afford a Treager I wouldn’t if I could because I don’t see the point of buying another smoker when I have three (if you count the weber grill) especially one at that price point.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        the only thing (besides the manual temperature control) that makes the Weber inferior is capacity. It’s fine for family dinner, but is way over its head if we smoke food in preparation for having people over.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m sure if you offer some brisket in return.

        Last one I did was classic/simple – more salt than I would put on anything else and pepper. 10 lb’er (flat) went about 8 hours @ 250. Internal temp was 203, wrapped and rested for over 3 hours (had planned 2, but we were delayed – it wasn’t a problem at all). When you check for IT, do so in the flat – otherwise you may overcook that.

  28. westernsloper

    For lunch at work I had leftovers from last nights dinner. Asian chicken tacos with grated parm (seems to be an asiago shortage around these parts) spicy mayo sauce and an Asian sort of slaw. The chicken was grilled thighs after marinating in soy, oyster sauce, ginger, lots of basil and a bunch of red pepper flakes. Chopped up into taco style filling. The sauce = mayo, siracha, a bit of wasabi, soy sauce, and some sesame oil. The slaw= cabbage, chopped cilantro, rice vin, splash of soy, sesame oil and celery seed. Serve on fried corn tortillas. My favorite tacos. When I appropriate I like to go for multiple cultures.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I had a Klondike ice cream sandwich, and 23 beers.

    Nice.

    • db

      there’s a >strike< in there

    • Fourscore

      So, one short of a case. Saving 1 for breakfast, you’ll need a second for dessert, however.

      • db

        I once drank half a case of Dogfish Head “Beer for Breakfast Stout” in a hot tub. It has Scrapple in it. I can’t even look at it anymore.

      • EvilSheldon

        The beer, or the hot tub?

      • db

        The beer. The hot tub is somewhere on the slopes of Timberline.

      • Tulip

        That sounds awful.

      • DEG

        A beer with Scrapple in it? And I missed it? Dammit.

      • db

        I still have a few bottles if you want to try it.

      • DEG

        YES! I would love to try it.

        I’ve never seen that Dogfish Head beer up here.

        You’re out by Pittsburgh? Probably better to ship it to me since I won’t be down that way for a while. One of the powers that be can get you my e-mail address.

        Thank you!

      • db

        They still make it, but if you want some 4-year-old beer, I’ll be glad to get if off my hands.

      • DEG

        Four years old? How did you store it?

      • db

        It’s in the fridge. I’m sure it’s still awful. But now I’m strangely curious, since it seemed good when I was drinking it the first time.

        Oh, yes, I have like 6 refrigerators, so, old beer tends to accumulate around here.

      • DEG

        It’s probably still good. I’ll take some.

        Thanks!

  30. I. B. McGinty

    Mrs. McGinty and I had Outback carryout after hitting balls at the driving range.

    • pistoffnick

      Kinky!

  31. Drake

    Some kind of shepherd’s pie my wife bought because we had a few things going on this afternoon. Technically a cottage pie as it contained ground beef not lamb (a pet peeve of mine).

    Tomorrow I make Indian spiced chili.

  32. prolefeed

    Spam fries, biscuits, spinach blue cheese salad.

    • prolefeed

      With an orange boulevardier for my drink.

  33. Cannoli

    Chicken wings and Reese’s minis, because they are my kryptonite

    • Florida Man

      Plus you can trap aliens with them.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I’d rather rip my balls out with a pair of fishing hooks than click that link.

      • db

        Right there with you, Trash.

      • juris imprudent

        Train wreck, that’s all that I can say about it – you know you shouldn’t gawk (let alone laugh), but you can’t help yourself. The sincerity is what makes the irony take on a habanero level afterburn.

      • Tejicano

        I’ll have to take your word for it. I was planning to have lunch in a couple hours and would need a functioning appetite for that.

      • Crusty Juggler

        It’s just God level cringe.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Well, we at least now have proof that Hill-dawg has a cock, as Lena just sucked it off.

    • Brochettaward

      Trump winning really just may be the greatest thing that ever happened.

    • Chafed

      That was a new kind of awful. 22k thumbs down to less than a thousand thumbs up. The people have spoken.

  34. Plinker762

    I’m sitting down at a brewpub waiting for a pepperoni pizza.

    In a related note, I’m having pizza for lunch tomorrow too.

  35. Mojeaux

    Okay, peeps, I need to get this off my chest even though it’s still mostly a feeling:

    I cherish you people. I really do.

    • Crusty Juggler

      “it’s still mostly a feeling”

      Does it make you want to…close your eyes and slip away?

    • Florida Man

      Normally I’d say “go home Mo, your drunk” but you don’t drink. On a serious note, back at you, kid.

      • Rhywun

        Thank you.

    • Drake

      Thanks – but don’t always trust your feelings.

    • Plinker762

      Even when we are criticizing your parenting? 😉

      • Mojeaux

        ?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Go home, Mo, you’re drunk.

      • Count Potato

        Psstt…she’s home and sober.

      • Mojeaux

        *glares at water mug*

    • db

      If you remember J sub D, pour one out.

      • Mojeaux

        I know who you’re referring to, but that was way before my Reason time.

        I’ll raise my mug of ice water.

      • DEG

        I’ll raise my mug of ice water.

        #metoo

        Yes, that is water in my glass. No booze tonight for me.

      • Rhywun

        ?

      • db

        Respect the HR OG

    • Count Potato

      Sugar is a heluva drug.

    • Tejicano

      I don’t know why I would feel like I should be included but just in case, ¡Muchos Gracias! I appreciate having you in my cyber life as well.

      • Mojeaux

        Of COURSE you’re included.

      • Fourscore

        In spite of the authorities y’all make life good for a geezer. Hunkering down with a younger crowd is great. SP and TPTB are doing a magnificent job.

      • egould310

        Group hug!!!!

        I love you guys!

    • Cancelled

      Ok, this has moved from maudlin into mawkish. Y’all are scalawags, rapscallions, and all around reprobates!

      • Mojeaux

        It’s all honor among thieves-ish.

      • Cancelled

        I just wanted to use those words. They are all good words and should be revitalized.

      • Gadfly

        I like the cut of your jib.

  36. egould310

    Double Jim Beam; rocks. Two of those.

    • Crusty Juggler

      White label?

      • egould310

        Yep. I did drink two beers this afternoon. That was lunch.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Based on the White Label I am guessing…some local trash beer…I think you are a west coast person, or at least were….so…Rainier? Or did you just go Busch Light as usual?

      • egould310

        I’m in Denver, CO. I just counted a coupke million Christmas lights. Had some time to kill and went to Peak View Brewing on the way to the airport. Drank two if the Grapefruit IPA’s. It was good. Can’t wait to get back home. Been on the road for 10 days.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Yes life on the road gets old quick. Good luck out there.

        But I am glad to learn you are not garbage like some of the other hotdog eating weirdos posting here.

      • Ozymandias

        Weirdos? Weirdos?!
        …yeah, that’s probably a fair cop.
        /walks away and spins propeller on beanie

      • Gender Traitor

        This is the Hamm’s jingle that haunts my dreams. Made it all the way to Ohio.

      • tripacer

        Vitamin R! That’s my hangar beer of choice.

    • westernsloper

      E knows how to have dinner.

      • egould310

        I’ve got @ 2oz of Planters peanuts I may eat on the plane.

      • westernsloper

        Aaaah, traveling. I always liked to get drungrey enough that I liked the airplane food. I remember they don’t do that unless international flight these days.

  37. UnCivilServant

    I had a tortilla with spaghetti sauce, sliced hot dog and mozzerlla cheese on it.

    It was awful. I should have planned ahead.

    • Drake

      That really sounds disgusting. I think I’d rather eat those things separately.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was not a culinary success.

      • db

        Seriously? It’s an artisinal multicultural burrito with haunting notes of nitrite and garlic, complemented by delicate dairy overtones.

        Or an abortion of cultural appropriation, whatever.

      • Brochettaward

        The two resident NY’ers eat like children. One had a TV dinner and the other just threw random shit on a tortilla he had lying around. He also puts provolone on his cheeseburgers instead of American like a real man.

      • Rhywun

        Fun fact: TV dinner just means I eat dinner in the living room.

      • Fourscore

        In that case I have a TV breakfast

      • juris imprudent

        Dude, you left out Ted S.

      • UnCivilServant

        and l0b0t, and Not Adahn,

      • juris imprudent

        I keep thinking of NA as a fellow Pennsyltuckian.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    I cherish you people. I really do.

    I have said it before: I’d probably be on the top of a bell tower, or at the bottom of a bottle, if not for this place.

  39. Brochettaward

    Liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    • blackjack

      Inspired by you, I was gonna try and be last on every thread. Lo and behold, there’s always some guy gotta post after me. You want real glory, be last. It’s like getting the last word in.

      • Brochettaward

        I am very inspiring.

      • Cancelled

        Pshaw, I do this all the time, usually when I log in, go to the old thread to see if anyone responded to something I said before going to bed, then forget it’s an old thread and reply! Bonus points if you post something good, that no one will ever read.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        I do a lot of that. It’s really unfulfilling.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I recently did it on an article from 2018… I was probably replying to somebody who hasn’t been here in a year and a half

  40. Caput Lupinum

    I had some roast pork and potatoes, nothing special. Now I’m having some お湯割り.

    • Hyperion

      Well, traditionally, men did not take care of children. That was not a thing when I was growing up. Men went off to work to earn a living and when work was over they went to the bar and got drunk. On weekends, men mowed the lawn, watched sports, and went to the bar to get drunk. Like men are supposed to.

      I mean if Dave Smith is into that stuff, NAWTT, but don’t tell the rest of us what we should do, Mr. Mum.

      • Urthona

        nor did women with money. They hired people.

  41. EvilSheldon

    Two spring rolls, some gyoza, and a Bang Miami Cola. Leftovers from lunch.

    • UnCivilServant

      You had leftover gyoza? How many did you start with?

      • EvilSheldon

        Well, not really left over left over. I got lunch delivered today (my truck was in the shop) so I ordered a bunch of extra appetizers to pad out the Grubhub minimum delivery charge.

      • Tejicano

        Technically speaking, all fried Gyoza is – by original Chinese standards – leftovers. It is supposed to be steamed. Anything that wasn’t eaten after that is fried. But the Japanese just skip the first steam step and go direct to frying it up.

      • UnCivilServant

        If you don’t have that first round of eating, they’re not leftovers.

      • EvilSheldon

        I did not know this. But now I do!

  42. JG43

    The missus made a nice turkey breast with some steamed baby potatoes and garlic bread.

  43. Ozymandias

    About to have a hamburger and a hot dog. Leftovers.
    First, gotta take the dog for a walk.
    Stomach needs a little time to settle from workout at the gym. Thank GOD there were no masks anywhere in sight. Felt…normal.

  44. Tejicano

    Like Straff, I had breakfast too. Today was a half a Bratwurst, chopped up and fried like loose hamburger, then rolled in with some Colby Jack cheese into a three egg omelet. A small piece of a thick slice of toasted homemade whole wheat bread. Coffee was fresh ground French roast with a dash of Kona Chocolate Macadamia thrown in for a little kick.

    • Brochettaward

      Wheat bread is gay.

      • egould310

        “Loose hamburger”. Did Winston’s Mom make you breakfast?

      • Tejicano

        So was your dad but your mom isn’t choosy so here you are. Life’s weird that way.

  45. Timeloose

    Dinner tonight was a quickie.

    Grilled cheese burgers, Knor cheesy shells pasta, and Steamed Broccoli.

    • Tejicano

      I assume the food was after the quickie.

      • Timeloose

        You know it.

  46. Hyperion

    Wifey cooked up a big old pot of… ox tail. WTF? Are people really supposed to eat that? She put some taters, carrots, garlic, and herbs to entice me into eating it. Pretty good actually. Made me feel like riding across the Mongolian plain with my hoards and slaying whoever.

    • Cancelled

      You don’t take your hoards with you. You leave them at home in your vaults. You get the hoards when you go pillaging with your hordes.

      • juris imprudent

        And when you’ve whored, you DON’T take that home with you.

      • Cancelled

        Of course! Because if you do the horde who whored will take your hoard.

    • Timeloose

      I love oxtail stew. Cuban style

    • Gustave Lytton

      Oxtail is good stuff. Wifey is fussy about certain cuts and meats so none for me.

  47. Don escaped Duopoly

    1/4 cup of peanut butter
    some cheap stout
    fixed a tail light and filed insurance on my new specs
    load of whites will be out soon

    that’s supper

    • blackjack

      load of whites

      Needs a bit of weed and wine! but, I’m willin.

    • Hyperion

      They already got the 12 year old vote, they’re on Animal Crossing.

  48. Lachowsky

    Meatloaf, and its great because I personally raised the cow the cow whose hammer im eating.

    • Lachowsky

      What a mess,

      Meatloaf, and its great because I personally raised the cow whose meat I’m eating.

      Lo siento

      • db

        Thank god you’re not eating its hammer.

  49. AlexinCT

    I made chicken with broccoli in a cream smoked sauce and a fried rice with onions, garlic, red & yellow peppers, scallions, tomato’s, and sweet peas with Asiago cheese. My girl now wants to love me long time for that dinner and it was a easy make.

  50. hoof_in_mouth

    Sweet potato quesadillas via Hello Fresh.

  51. Chipping Pioneer

    I bought my first ever charcoal grill on Saturday. I’ve cooked at least one meal a day on it since.

    Tonight was jerk chicken thighs with grilled kohlrabi.

    Still need to figure out how to get crispy skin, but the flavour was awesome.

    • Tejicano

      If you got a Weber then you need a Vortex for it. You can either buy one or make your own – I use a stainless steel mixing bowl and cut the bottom off with a disc grinder. That gives you an even temperature in the outer ring for cooking and an almost afterburner hot inner center to do the final sear.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I have a slow n sear that does the same thing. it splits the zones left and right, though.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        That sounds great. I’ll take a look.

      • Tejicano

        One additional benefit of using the Vortex – you only use about 1/3 of the charcoal you would usually need if you cook without it.

    • KSuellington

      I assume you also have a charcoal chimney? If not, get one, a thousand times better than using lighter fluid.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Cool beans. The wife likes chimichurri. Looks like that’s what we’re doing Friday.

    • Count Potato

      Jerk chicken usually doesn’t have skin on it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      For a brand new to grilling, recommend Weber’s Big Book of Grilling as a foundation. Unfortunately I think it’s gone out of print

      My favorite chicken recipe, but lots of other good content.
      https://tvwbb.com/threads/roadside-chicken.33874/

      And if you want to step into the crazy side of the pool, this site is good for finding ways to spend far too money on extra stuff. But also has good content too. Smoking for instance. I like the snake method.

      http://weberkettleclub.com/blog/2013/11/05/smoking-on-a-weber-kettle/

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Awesome. Thanks!

    • Sean

      I have never grilled kohlrabi. I usually eat it raw.

      Tell me more.

  52. LJW

    All you people with your free time to cook these fancy meals. I had the fine cuisine known as Chick Fil A.

    • Mojeaux

      My chicken is from HyVee.

  53. KSuellington

    Put a pork shoulder in the oven at very low before I left for work. Wife turned it on a 1p,m. Orange juice, worstershire, chicken stock, bay leaf, garlic and coriander, s&p. Let it simmer for five hours then pulled it apart and blasted it under the high broiler for five minutes to crisp it up, salted it again. Corn and flour tortillas, fresh made pico de Gallo with serranos, avocado and sour cream. Kids and wife loved it. Now they get half hour of video games before story time and then bed. Dad is gonna roll up a nice spliff at that point with fine Virginia tobacco and friend grown sinsemilla.

  54. dbleagle

    Leftover veal marsala from the other night. I was going to have poke but my local Tamura’s is closed because an employee came down with the VID. The sign said they’d reopen by Thursday.

    Since I was inspired from the previous post I just made a mojito to tide me over until dinner.

  55. Cancelled

    I am 52, and I was today (5 minutes ago) old when I noticed that I have no hair on the outside of my lower legs. It is an almost straight line down my shin bones, hair on the inner side, none on the outer. Odd

    • Rhywun

      I’m 51 and I have a full complement down there. Maybe see a doctor 🙂

      • Count Potato

        By the way, you know, I sit on the stand, and it get hot. I got a lot, I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun, and the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again. They’d look at it.

      • Rhywun

        TMI, fat.

      • Brochettaward

        GAY

      • Old Man With Candy

        You have my vote.

    • grrizzly

      Yes. Unnatural. Sitting in my shorts at home, I’ve just double-checked my legs are uniformly hairy. And I’m not even that hairy.

      • db

        huh

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      I have big legs. When I was a kid and wore jeans, I had no hair on the outside of my calves.

      • grrizzly

        Compared to my peers, my hair situation drastically improved from the age of 17 to now (44).

      • Lachowsky

        I’m peanut butter and jealous.

    • Mojeaux

      Pants rubbing against your legs keeping them smooth.

    • egould310

      According to WebMD, you have shin cancer. Good luck with that, dude.

    • Brochettaward

      I’m pretty sure that means you like cock. You’re gay.

    • one true athena

      My spouse lost the hair on his lower calves from his dress socks over the years. If this is a new thing w no obvious rubbing culprit, you should see a doc.

  56. But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

    Beef and pork meat patties, mixed with fresh breadcrumbs, seasoned with chicken stock, onions and a slight scattering of seasoned salt, served alongside a stir-fry of shredded Savoy and purple/red cabbage, slivered carrots and thinly-sliced red onions, finished with glass noodles, homemade dark chicken stock and a bit of teriyaki/mushroom soy. Cheap white Viognier from South America for the schlork.

    The spousal unit couldn’t stop shoveling it in. I call that a success.

  57. Animal

    Soylent Green.

    • AlexinCT

      Yum…

      Was it made from real libs?

  58. egould310

    Airplane mode. G’night Glibs. Mmmmwaahhh!!!

    • Brochettaward

      No real libertarian uses airplane mode.

      • db

        I don’t even use airplane mode when I’m the plilot.

      • tripacer

        Foreflight don’ work on airplane mode.

    • straffinrun

      He just wants to make sure everyone can hear his annoying voice. I’ll take it.

    • EvilSheldon

      It is a legit travesty that Oasis’ heavier stuff never got any real airplay.

  59. Gender Traitor

    Fish sticks with lemon juice because it’s Tuesday, homegrown Roma tomatoes with fresh ground black pepper because we’re getting overrun with tomatoes and the neighbors are starting to run away when they see Tom T coming holding a container, and one of these because I went swimming today, so I burned off the calories anyway.

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      Your neighbours run away when you’re trying to gift them fresh tomatoes?

      Those people are twisted and broken.

      • Gender Traitor

        Only because we’re overrunning them, too.

        They’re quite tasty. (The tomatoes – not our neighbors. Well, the neighbors might be tasty, too, but I couldn’t say.) We bought a bunch of cottage cheese to eat with the ‘maters but I’m finding I like them all by their lonesomes.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Okay, so the phrase “over-run with tomatoes” is just nonsensical to my ears. That’s why God invented the food mill and the process of simmering.

        You came over to my place with gobs of tomatoes and I’d be makin’ sauce like there was no tomorrow.

      • Gender Traitor

        We do have a food mill. One year we were ambitious enough to make and can some sauce. It really did take a bunch of tomatoes to make a sauce of suitable thickness for my taste. We’ll see if we’re driven to that this year. At the very least, we’ll blanch off the skins and freeze them.

      • SP

        Drive them all out to my house. I am so annoyed not to be able to make and can sauce the last two years. I generally did about 100 quarts every year.

        *sigh*

  60. Timeloose

    All this food talk made me make a marinade for tomorrow’s grilled chicken.

    Soy, ginger, homemade red hot sauce, a little honey, garlic, and oil.

  61. db

    I’m wondering if I should make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.

    • Brochettaward

      Waffles are the more masculine breakfast option,, though I do stop short of ruling pancakes as gay.

      • Ozymandias

        Whew!
        So… pancakes are like the metrosexual of breakfast foods?
        Is it a binary option or could you give them a percentage rating? Like… 40%?

      • Brochettaward

        There’s a scale. Once you pass 35% gay, it’s all gay, though.

      • PieInTheSky

        You can pour bourbon on them and the become ungay. Nothing with bourbon on is gay.

      • Brochettaward

        I will allow this, though with the possible exception of an actual cock. I’m pretty sure not even bourbon can make a cock not gay.

      • db

        I pour maple syrup all the fuck over waffles and pancakes.

    • straffinrun

      Make hotcakes. Sounds yummier.

  62. straffinrun

    Today’s office: “We’re gonna do a working lunch, so we ordered lunch for you. Ratatouille.”

    ?

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      I can’t imagine that a Japanese interpretation of Ratatouille would be all that appetizing.

      • straffinrun

        Nope. But any ratatouille is gross, though not as gross as paella.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        . . . not as gross as paella.

        You’re dead to me, d00d.

      • straffinrun

        English food > Spanish food.

      • Tejicano

        The English do not have a cuisine. They just have stuff that gets eaten because it didn’t move fast enough.

      • Gustave Lytton

        any ratatouille is gross

        I can’t figure this part out either.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        The words are ostensibly English, but they’re strung together in ways that make absolutely no sense.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Nope. I think my Glibs-to-English translator app’s broken again.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Maybe it just needs to be recharged with a grotesque concoction of rice and incongruent meats.

  63. Annoyed Nomad

    Salad, chicken fajitas and the rest of the bottle of Zinfandel we opened last night. Dessert is chocolate ice cream with chocolate chip cookies.

    • PieInTheSky

      Zinfandel – I prefer primitivo myself… Although it is not my style either way.

    • PieInTheSky

      Zinfandel – I prefer primitivo myself… Although it is not my style either way.

      • PieInTheSky

        Ok the double post is a site issue I did not click twice and even if I did it should not do this.

    • SP

      If you are still in CA, look for some reds from Mike Dashe, Dashe Cellars. So good. Excellent zins that don’t generally blow you out of the water.

  64. straffinrun

    The only good thing to come out of Spain was Franco.

    • straffinrun

      And pickpockets.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      What about Penelope Cruz?

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Oh, yeah–how many Kentucky Derbies has she won? I imagine it’s been quite a few.

      • Chafed

        Ouch. You’ve got some strong feelings about her.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        “Strong”, as in, lots of horse-power.

        Then gain, maybe she leads some to want to sow their wild oats…?

      • Tejicano

        Are you saying she’s a strong “neigh”?

    • Chafed

      ?

      • PieInTheSky

        drunk?

    • Tejicano

      If I can be excused for equating “came out of” to “were driven out of” my answer would be “the Moors”.

  65. Chafed

    Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat with a glass of soy milk. Try not to be jealous.

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      Actually, you kinda had me until the “soy milk” part.

      • Chafed

        You could at least try not to be jealous.

    • Brochettaward

      Soy milk? Do I even need to say it?

      • Tejicano

        I dunno, what? It tastes like all of your boyfriends’ cum?

      • Brochettaward

        Cum probably has more flavor than your wheat bread, but that’s something you would be in a better position to tell us as I don’t consume either and you sir consume both.

      • Tejicano

        Says the voices in your head.

        So riddle me this fagman – do you have such a nasty shadow of a personality because your dad left you as a child, or did your dad leave you as a child because you have such a nasty shadow of a personality. Chicken or egg?

        (your schtick is getting old)

      • Brochettaward

        Class rage resulting from your repressed homosexuality.

      • Tejicano

        I’d say something about your repressed homosexuality but you don’t seem to be trying to repress it at all when you’re not on a keyboard. NTTAWWT.

      • Tejicano

        Now that I have your attention – please, I implore you, please drop the Gay-Fag schtick. For the love of your own soul.

        To those of us who have grown up, gotten jobs, had relationships, joined the military; in many cases gotten educated, raised families, had careers, it makes you sound like a 16-year-old douche in high school or worse – a 30-something loser in his mom’s basement.

        I’ve read your normal posts and it almost seems like that normal guy has given his logon/password to some other childish freak. “That guy” I could have a conversation with. But the “gay-fag” guy sorely tempts me to be uncivil.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Had to sign a statement of charges for a missing map case?

      • Chafed

        I kind of get your firsting schtick. It’s a bit long in the tooth but I get it. The anti-gay schtick is mystifying. Who do you think is insulted?

  66. Tejicano

    Now that we’re on to lunch (we being me and others near my time zone) – I had a diced chuck steak on a bed of grilled onion, mushrooms, and garlic. Homemade Frijitos on the side. I decided that since I don’t have a job I’ll use my WFH privilege and have a beer with that. Unfortunately, I had drunk all the short cans and all I had left was tall cans of Radeberger. Oh, well, a tall can it is!

    • PieInTheSky

      Until the third sentence I was gonna say it sounds smelly for an office lunch.

  67. PieInTheSky

    Holly fuck the nuggets won. Who’d of thunk it? Playoff P chocked big time.

    I even had money on the game but have no idea if I won because I don;t remember what I had on the Miami game. I had Miami winning but also something else. I think I may have had jimmy butler over 25 points which means I lost. 2 bucks down the drain.

    • Chafed

      So you’re the guy watching the NBA.

      • PieInTheSky

        I have watched like 3 games in the bubble. But I do bet 2 bucks a night and follow the scores and highlights.

  68. PieInTheSky

    What I had for dinner was eggplant and beef Moussaka with baked bell peppers. But that was last night. It is almost breakfast time. I need to wait another hour though to hit mu 15 hour fasting window.

  69. Brochettaward

    Trump town hall (did not watch). Crowder posted some short clip of a black woman from Philadelphia who also happens to be a professor of some kind (basically, 0% chance she’d ever actually vote for Trump). She has some sort of skin condition she was born with that made her uninsurable and she rants about this and about how Trump would do away with protections for preexisting conditions.

    I’m not sorry to say that what these people are looking for isn’t insurance. It’s free or highly subsidized healthcare and they are too dumb or disingenuous to make the distinction. Insurance isn’t healthcare. It’s not a proxy for healthcare.

    • Urthona

      Also, Trump has no intention of doing away with the preexisting condition thing anyway, so she’s politically uninformed.

      • Chafed

        I didn’t see it but would guess it was performance art or virtue signaling.

      • Brochettaward

        She was totally woke, obviously. She cuts Trump off as he starts to answer and demands he let her finish her “question.” She talks about how it isn’t her fault she’s black and marginalized by the medical community.

      • Chafed

        None of this surprises me.

  70. Ownbestenemy

    For db. Find what you like in terms of how you cook your cow. Learn it, love it, because it is what will produce the end product you want.

    Me personally, love my offset. Many on the interwebs will say offset are trash. I have a buddy that uses a plain old Weber grill (modified) to smoke his meat.

    Point is, enjoy the process and enjoy the end product. BBQ is a journey man…..

    Now where is my joint.

  71. egould310

    Landed safe at SEA. Can’t wait to put on jammies, pour some Jim Beam, and play my guitar for the next three hours. Guitar yeah.

    • Chafed

      How smoky is it?

    • egould310

      Oh shit! No bourbon. Smirnoff, Emergen-C, and Perrier it is. A quick shower and guitar jamming. Sorry, neighbors…

  72. egould310

    Not too bad. Kinda foggy. The fog might be smoke. I dunno.

    • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

      Who is the homeowner, and why him?

      Also, fuck da police. How that arrest is even possible…..wait–who called the po-po? The BLM people??

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s Ngo, so I’m thinking there’s more to it.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Do you find him to be unreliable? I am under the impression he’s better than most independent journos.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes better, but he definitely has a certain point of view and narrative. I’ve noticed a couple times where he slides things out with some spin or leaves out some context.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Found another source, still based off the same video.

        https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/09/breaking-milwaukee-trump-supporter-arrested-brandishing-gun-black-lives-matter-mob-surrounding-home-video/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=websitesharingbuttons

        Possibly a background as to why the homeowner got arrested? Even so, harassing someone for hours and then get arrested. This is continuing to spin out of control. Keeps up and there’s going to be Rwanda scale violence and those politicians and government heads allowing this crap are going to kiss Madame Guillotine just like the rest of us. Assholes. You blew it all up! Damn you to hell.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        If we are ever going to have anything approaching “reform”, there needs to be an accountability mechanism put into place for prosecutors. It can’t just be police.

        Of course, so many things need to change, like acknowledging, in legislation, the supremacy of your property’s sanctity–even for racists (if that’s what he is).

        I wonder what Shotgun Joe thinks about this….heheheheh–“thinks”!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        So the guy threatened people who are threatening him because that’s what showing up at someone’s house is. They know where you live and they can trash your property or you anytime they feel like it.

    • Sean

      Wtf?

    • Tres Cool

      Fun fact- Ice Cube’s actual name is O’Shea Jackson.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Michael’s leprechaun brother?

        Or, maybe Randy’s….?

        /Sure and begorrah!

      • straffinrun

        Give credit where it’s due. That may have been the greatest retweet in history.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        It would be awesome to hear him mumble-singing that when he’s walking through the White House.

      • Tres Cool

        Better yet- bumpin’ it from some cubes in the trunk of his Trans Am

      • Tres Cool
      • straffinrun

        I’m thinking Biden has a Studebaker.

  73. straffinrun

    If you’re pro choice and a Cuties defender, why can’t you think 11 years ahead?

  74. straffinrun

    In 2030, conservatives with be absolutely against allowing any child porn under 11 years old.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nah, the left will push eight and the conservatives will compromise with eleven so they can pretend they’re still conserving something.

    • Tres Cool

      You need to go live with Gould.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean & Homey! Nice tunes, Sean!

      • Tres Cool

        ‘sup pimp-juice

      • Sean

        Morning.

  75. Tres Cool

    I’ve been up all night, and Im about to make breakfast for Jugsy.
    Morning ya’all

    • Gender Traitor

      What’s on the menu?

      • Tres Cool

        For her? Egg white omlette and Wright Brand bacon
        Me? Leftover Donatos sans crust

      • Gender Traitor

        Mmmmm!!! I’ll take the yolks she’s not eating and any bacon that’s left.

      • Tres Cool

        I buy that stuff buy the quart…..I dont get it. I need AIGS with yella stuff in them.
        Kroger gave me $1.25/off the bacon, so it was “reasonable” for 1.5 lbs. Wright Brand isnt cheap.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m just bummed that our Meijer doesn’t carry the Atkins Bacon Scramble bowl – just the Sausage Scramble. Nothing against sausage, but that’s what we have on Sunday with our waffles. I’d lobby harder for bacon occasionally, but it seems to be a lot spittier when frying than the sausage patties are. Hazardous and more labor-intensive.

      • UnCivilServant

        Bake your bacon. Put a rack on a baking sheet (to catch the drippings) lay out the rashers on the rack and bake to the desired texture.

      • UnCivilServant

        yes, cleaning the rack is a bit of a pain, but you don’t get splattered with bacon grease while standing over a skillet.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ooh! That sounds good! Especially when the weather gets cooler. Might that also work under the broiler?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve never tried. If you try, let us know how it turns out.

    • TARDis

      Good morning, early birds. Greetings from Kovidia, the prison planet inhabited by Kovidiots.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, TARDy! Gee, it seems like just last year, the news had me convinced I was living someplace called Opioidia. Musta been a revolution or something.

      • TARDis

        I must have lost time. I thought Opiodia was the year before, and last year was Allmenrapia. Meh, it’s all Orangeman’s anyway.

  76. Festus' Mustache

    So this happened today – Wifey’s XY has been on a downward spiral for the last few months. We don’t know the precise shit that he’s involved with because it seems that every word out of that guy’s mouth is a great big lie. I don’t think he’s a tweaker because he’s always been more of a laid back stoner sort but who knows. Anyways, Wifey gets a call this afternoon from him. He’s in a neighboring town after some scheme turned ugly. Apparently he and his compadres stole some plates, put them on his car and headed off to do God knows what. The story we’ve been told is that the hard dudes held him hostage for awhile, beat the shit out of him and stole his wallet, phone and the car. Left him stranded there. Bad enough but here’s the kicker! That fucker wanted Wifey to transfer papers for the car into her name so that he could report it stolen without implicating himself for driving without a licence or insurance. I put the kibosh on that immediately. He’s gonna be fine, he has a buddy going to pick him up to bring him back to the city. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in that guy’s life right now but I’d venture that very little of it is good. He was always a slacker and he and I get along just fine ignoring each other but poor Wifey. He’s her eldest. He’s 38. So that’s what we had for dinner. Sorry for the rant.

    • Tres Cool

      Not all liars are addicts; but all addicts are liars. (so are fishermen)

      You have my best wishes, Canuckian.

      • Fourscore

        A fisherman only costs an extra beer (usually).

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’d put the lie to that. Not because I’m a great fisherman but you’d need at least a case to hold my interest 🙂

    • Gender Traitor

      Ugggh. Mom’s gotta let him fall on his face. Sorry you’re having to deal with that. : (

      • Festus' Mustache

        Well we have been for 20 years. It’s just been a lot of problems over the last few months. He’s always been a very mellow dude, fucked up for certain but in mostly harmless ways. This City has gone to the shitter over the last three years and it was never that great to begin with. He’s got hearing problems and is probably a little autistic. He’s never fit in well and now he’s hanging out with wolves. Poor Judi is beside herself with worry but what are we to do? He sure as fuck can’t live here. I’ve played the “Junkie Game” more than twice and it ain’t happening again.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yeesh, 38 is too old for that kind of nonsense.

    • Grosspatzer

      Wifey is lucky to have you around right now. And GT is correct WRT to letting go.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Thanks, GP. I can’t believe that she actually asked for my advice. Jesus, Woman! That’s Fraud. We would both kiss our jobs goodbye because both of us have security clearances. Can’t take the Momma Bear out of the Mom, I suppose.

    • Fourscore

      Family? How does it work?

      Had my share of surprises but nothing like that. Sometimes we have to acknowledge the truth and let it go. Like trying to reform a drunk.

      “Where’s Uncle Charlie this time?” “Slammer in some small town, needs a $100” “Oh, well, that isn’t too bad, send it” Six weeks later, “Hey, it’ me, Charlie, whassup? Hey, look, I had a little accident and…”

      It seems to never stop

      • Festus' Mustache

        The real trouble just started recently. He has fallen in with a bad crowd. He’s basically 38 going on 15 so far as social cues go. Smart as a whip when the subject interests him but just as dense as a post regarding everything else.

      • TARDis

        “Family? How does it work?”

        Dysfunctionally, usually.

        When you marry someone, you marry their whole family.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, shit.

        Way to make me even more unmarryable.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Lucky me, I actually married up!

    • Tejicano

      I’m really sorry to hear about this. I’ve had family problems off and on since, well since I started making my own living in the military. Hitting me up for money because “You don’t have our problems”.

      It’s one of the reasons I put the Pacific ocean between me and my family.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I didn’t do the physical ocean part but I did disown my immediate family years ago. Never looked back, really.

  77. UnCivilServant

    dear management – pick a top priority, because we can’t have more than one, I can’t do that many things at once.

    • Gender Traitor

      “But it’s all important and urgent!”

      Good morning, UCS.

      • UnCivilServant

        Tell me you know how to make Solaris print directly to a poorly identified canon printer I can’t physically get to and which has been spitting out garbage instead of the prints.

      • Gender Traitor

        Why, sure! I know how to do that!

        (Does it have to be true?)

      • UnCivilServant

        I get the sinking impression that getting this print to a different printer is just because someone doesn’t want to walk to get their printouts.

        The printer they work just fine on got consolidated to another print shop so we didn’t have our dwindling supply of operators running hither and yon between multiple sites. The consolidated print shop is about a city block away from the old one, but you can walk between them without needing to go outside.

        But the one they want us to get it working to and is oh so urgent is in a print shop half a city away – but which delivers the printouts.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Blame the Department Head with the biggest bum, I’d venture. The ones that don’t do floor walks where I work always have trash cans full of snack food wrappers.

      • Festus' Mustache

        +empty cigarette packs

      • UnCivilServant

        I have never met most of the agency customers. They are only ever names on emails to me.

      • Festus' Mustache

        So kind of like here? (with notable exceptions, of course)

      • UnCivilServant

        The people here can’t send me work.

    • UnCivilServant

      Bunch of stolen bases in that question.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Ha ha!

    • Timeloose

      Sean, your phone number is visible!!

      • Tundra

        Yeah, nuke that link.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “Your slip is showing!” Yes, I love Bugs Bunny.

      • Sean

        That’s not my #. That’s who sent me the text.

      • Timeloose

        Cool, Wanted to make sure.

      • Fourscore

        Sean, this is Fourscore, hey look, I had a little accident and I was wondering…

    • Tundra

      Jessica?

      Mornin’.

      • Sean

        Jessica?

        Yeah. They just make up names when they spam.

      • Sean

        And mornin’