Thursday Afternoon SPoiled Links

by | Feb 4, 2021 | Daily Links | 391 comments

I.Am.So.SPoiled.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who came to my COVID-19 Super SPreader birthday party last weekend. It was a SPectacular time. Super fun to meet many new people IRL and great to reconnect with previous real life friends. Those of you who couldn’t make it at the last moment were truly missed.

WebDom and I are out and about today, heading up to Sedona or Jerome. Or both. So you’ll have to talk amongst yourselves.

Here’s some links to get you started!

A leopard spent the better part of a day locked in a bathroom with a dog.

The Square Kilometer Array is a go.

Pile of rope is actually a sea creature.

P.S. Check out the ever delightful private Glib forum linked in the navigation. Lots of interesting discussions are going on.

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

391 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?

    • Tres Cool

      “Leopard locked in bathroom escapes through ceiling, leaves dog unharmed”

      Nice “toilet” ya got there. And why is there a cam in th…..oh, nevermind.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Ceiling Cat.

      • Tonio

        You’re only doing this because SP is gone.

  2. Count Potato

    “A leopard that spent a night and most of a day locked in a bathroom with a dog at a home in India escaped through the ceiling without harming the canine.”

    The important thing is that AOC was safe.

    • Rat on a train

      Still traumatized though.

  3. Rebel Scum

    The term “sea whip” can refer to several genera of soft corals in the order Gorgonacea, but the species that washes up in North American coastal regions is a colorful sea whip (Leptogorgia virgulata). Sea whips’ vibrant color comes from colonies of polyps — tiny, soft-bodied animals with eight tentacles forming a ring around their mouths. When these colonies cluster together they secrete proteins that form a dark-colored skeleton, which branches into whiplike stalks measuring up to 3 feet (0.9 meters) tall

    Who had “The Thing” for Feb., 2021?

    • Tres Cool

      “Sea whips’ vibrant color comes from colonies of polyps”

      You know who else has colonies of polyps ?

      • rhywun

        Ke$ha?

    • Not Adahn

      Sea whip? Sea whip? Sea whip? Three sea whips.

      • slumbrew

        I LOL’d.

      • C. Anacreon

        John Candy was amazing. RIP.

      • Swiss Servator

        SEA SMITH LIKE SEA WHIP. IYKWSSMAITYD.

  4. DEG

    It’s good the birthday celebration was good.

    Forest Department officials arrived at the residence and were working on a capture plan for the leopard when the wild animal climbed through the ceiling of the bathroom and found its way out of the home on its own, avoiding nets placed by authorities.

    Smart of the leopard.

    Sea whips can be red, yellow, orange, violet, lavender or purple, according to the Marine Species Identification Portal.

    Trippy.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    A leopard spent the better part of a day locked in a bathroom with a dog.

    I’ve seen that movie.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I thought the movie about about cougar and a bitch.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The Devil Wears Prada?

  6. Count Potato

    “The SKA’s unprecedented sensitivity would pick up any extra-terrestrial transmissions.”

    Then will just find out the alien is Jodie Foster’s dad.

    • Nephilium

      Nah. I’m pretty sure the SKA will pick it up.

      • Cowboy

        How many ska fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

        2: one to drop it and one to pickituppickituppickitup.

    • PBRstreetgang

      That’s the impression that I get.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Hey hey!

      • Ownbestenemy

        I prefer Voodoo Glow Skulls myself

    • Rat on a train

      If there is advanced intelligent life out there, they are probably doing their best to hide from us. Nobody wants a call from the crazy family that lives down the road.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I laughed

    • Gadfly

      If there even is any other life out there in the great big universe, the likelihood that it would be at least as advanced as ourselves seems rather small. Not only would it have to jump through all the evolutionary hoops to get the intelligence and dexterity of man (intelligence alone is not enough, it just gets you to dolphins), but then their civilization would have to jump through all the sociological hoops to get to an advanced capitalist society. Modern man is estimated to be ~100,000 years old, and for 99,700 years of that he lived a fairly primitive existence. It was only after developing certain enlightenment ideas in a backwater corner of the globe that he coincidentally created the social infrastructure to produce the wealth and freedom necessary to begin reaching for the stars. In all likelihood, if there is any other intelligent life out there they are just a bunch of warring khanates squabbling over their own bit of dirt, wherever it is, or a bunch of sophisticated dolphins raping their way across placid seas.

      • Rat on a train

        Dolphins are the second most intelligent species on Earth. Man is third.

      • Gender Traitor

        Who’s (on) first?

      • Rat on a train

        Mice.

      • DEG

        a bunch of warring khanates squabbling over their own bit of dirt

        So they have the potential to turn into the Kzin?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Lots of interesting discussions are going on.

    Eeeeww.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kind of like John Wayne Gacy’s basement.

      Very interesting indeed.

  8. DEG

    Wayne County, MI dismisses Lil Rona Panic Order violations

    Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy on Monday announced her office is dismissing more than 1,600 ordinance violations and misdemeanor citations involving violations of Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s coronavirus emergency orders that were later determined to violate the Michigan Constitution.

    Police throughout Michigan began enforcing various emergency orders that limited social gatherings, commerce and other activity under the authority of emergency orders issued by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer between April and October, when the state Supreme Court ruled a 1945 law underpinning the orders was unconstitutional.

    “As a result of the Michigan Supreme Court ruling (the Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office) conducted a review of the cases and it was determined that there is not a legal basis to proceed with them,” Worthy’s office said in a statement Monday. “(The Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office) will be dismissing all adjudicated cases and all pending cases.

  9. Rebel Scum

    But marxist symbols are a-ok.

    Soldiers were told the list came from the Department of Homeland Security and was an updated list of what federal and local law enforcement need to be “on the lookout for,” according to the source.

    Henry “told us that if anyone gets caught wearing, buying, selling, affiliated with in any way, any of those things on those list, that the first thing he’s going to do is chapter us out of the Army. The second thing is, he’s going to handle the investigation by sending it over to the DHS,” the source said. “He didn’t quite outright say that we would be arrested, he used the word ‘detained.’” …

    “To be honest, I’m a little bit scared because I have been affiliated with Three Percenters due to the fact that they extend from the Revolutionary War, that three percent of the population stood up against the British, and that’s what started the Revolutionary War, and I love that ideal. I’ve kind of taken that to heart,” the source said.

    “And for them to now demonize it and make it so where the people who are willing to stand up for the country are now being told we’re extremists and that we’re terrorists and that if we share these ideals with anyone or if we publicly speak on these ideals, that not only will I be chaptered out of the Army, but that I could possibly be detained and then put under investigation by the Department of Homeland Security,” the source added. …

    Other imagery on the slides included those associated with QAnon, the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, the National Social Club 131, the “Kek” flag, the Boogaloo movement, the National Socialist Order, 14, 88, the swastika, the sonnenrad or sunwheel, the SS, the Celtic Cross, the WP “okay” hand symbol, the Archangel Michael Cross, the “Othala Rune”, the “Norse Algis Rune”, the “Totenkopf”, the Universal Order symbol, the nuclear symbol, and the ((( ))) “echo.” The descriptions of QAnon and the Oathkeepers are also accompanied by photos of protesters at the Capitol on January 6.

    • leon

      Other imagery on the slides included those associated with QAnon, the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, the National Social Club 131, the “Kek” flag, the Boogaloo movement, the National Socialist Order, 14, 88, the swastika, the sonnenrad or sunwheel, the SS, the Celtic Cross, the WP “okay” hand symbol, the Archangel Michael Cross, the “Othala Rune”, the “Norse Algis Rune”, the “Totenkopf”, the Universal Order symbol, the nuclear symbol, and the ((( ))) “echo.”

      No Jews allowed in the Army?

      • leon

        And the OK sign is verboten. I love it.

      • Chipwooder

        That remains the dumbest fucking thing in the galaxy

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ? Better go after Apple too because I just posted that from my factory list of emojees. Yeah, it is moronic but whachyagonnado?

      • Tres Cool

        So is the word “verboten”, racist

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yes, do you know who else liked to use that same word?

      • slumbrew

        I know nothing!

      • Rat on a train

        Samuel Fuller?

      • R C Dean

        Not prohibited:

        Antifa symbols.
        Communist symbols.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why would they? These are the same duplicitous traitors who disobeyed the lawful orders of the commander in chief and worked to subvert the chain of command.

    • Tres Cool

      “The slides, which are marked “law enforcement sensitive,” describe the “Three Percenters” as a “North American militia movement/paramilitary-style group with members who adhere to a far-right/LIBERTARIAN ideology with a primary focus on firearms ownership right and opposition to expansive U.S. federal government authority.”

      Didn’t Preet tell them about us already ?

      • Hyperion

        He told them about TOS. We’re all gone.

      • Rat on a train

        Unfortunately, some people left forwarding addresses.

      • Tonio

        “law enforcement sensitive” LOL.

        “Sensitive” is government-speak for “we wish we could classify it, but we’d look silly” (fedgov) or “we don’t really have a formal system for classified information, but we’re going to pretend we do” (state, municipal govs).

      • leon

        ^^ That

        Essentially, it is a non-real classification system to try to keep it a secret. There are rules about what can and cannot be classified so that the government can’t hide everything from FOIA requests.

      • Tonio

        Yes, I know. See also, “NOFORN.” I got out of defense contracting because I knew that someday I’d come across some type of waste, fraud or abuse and that someone would slap a “classified” label on it.

      • Swiss Servator

        Oh, the stories I could tell…

      • R C Dean

        a primary focus on firearms ownership right

        Which is guaranteed in the Constitution that they all swear to uphold.

        opposition to expansive U.S. federal government authority

        Damn near everybody opposes some expansion or other of U.S. federal government authority. If you doubt me, ask a lefty who is otherwise totally in favor of a totipotent federal government if they think it should outlaw abortion.

    • leon

      “North American militia movement/paramilitary-style group with members who adhere to a far-right/libertarian ideology with a primary focus on firearms ownership right and opposition to expansive U.S. federal government authority.

      There you have it. Standard Libertarian Ideology is considered terrorism by the US Government.

      • Chipwooder

        with a primary focus on firearms ownership right and opposition to expansive U.S. federal government authority.

        Seriously, even their dipshit hysterical “training materials” have such an anodyne description of them? What an absolute crock of shit.

      • kbolino

        I’m sure the LP will distance itself from them if push comes to shove.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m sure Swiss still has some connections. See if he can get the porcupine, the Statue of Liberty and the US Flag added to that list.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh, and Mr. Peanut of course.

      • Tonio

        The Betsy Ross flag, for sure.

      • Chipwooder

        I thought they had shitcanned Sarwark now?

      • kbolino

        I don’t follow the internal drama of the LP, but as far as I can tell he left on his own. There are factions in the party that wanted him gone and maybe they played a role but I don’t think they’ve become dominant (yet).

      • DEG

        Sarwark left the LPUSA and moved to New Hampshire. He ran for County Attorney for Hillsborough County in 2020. He lost.

        I expect the LPNH will find ways to become even more irrelevant than it already is.

      • Hyperion

        The LP distanced themselves from libertarians a while back, not a new thing.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        So Hihn was right? Because from what I heard there was a Cato study that showed that 95% of libertarians etc.

      • Chipwooder

        Ahhhh, a golden oldie

      • Tonio

        It’s like I’ve long said. The LP is composed of equal parts sincere actual libertarians, opportunists there to advance their own agendas, and plants from the major parties and deep state there to discredit the movement.

      • Tonio

        The latter two groups often ally and smother the real libertarians.

      • rhywun

        Well, that’s nice to know.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        There you have it. Standard Libertarian Ideology is considered terrorism by the US Government.

        Apologies for being that guy (and this isn’t directed at you, Leon, or anybody in particular).

        Both sides are just as bad, right? A pox on both their houses, right? If this doesn’t expose the fact that the left is an unique danger to liberty in a way that the right hasn’t even gotten close to*, I’m not sure what would.

        *SLDs about the right sucking in their own ways, but at a magnitude dwarfed by the suckitude of the left.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, it’s breathtaking what they’ve done in just the past two weeks. I can’t keep up.

      • kbolino

        Is Trump a side?

        Because apart from him, it looks like the GOP in general ain’t gonna do shit about it.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yeah, they’re feckless and cowardly and like democrats more than their constituents. They didn’t declare all of us domestic terrorists, though. It’s like a dark twist of goofus and gallant. GOP is goofus. Progs are goofus’s paranoid crackhead wife-beating cousin. Gallant, by the way, died doing what he loved… Winston’s mom.

      • kbolino

        They didn’t declare all of us domestic terrorists, though.

        I won’t hold my breath. They’ve never liked libertarians and if it’s a question of losing more committee seats or throwing us under the bus, I wouldn’t bet on the former.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      the Celtic Cross

      Fucking really? You can’t even have a cross?

    • Plisade

      What’s the end game here? A mass exodus of America-loving warriors from the armed forces will result. But why? To weaken our military? Surely weakening the military can’t be an unintended consequence. Or maybe Biden’s crew is just that stupid.

      • kbolino

        What’s the end game of any regime that purges its security forces of dissent?

      • Plisade

        “Regime” …

        I have trouble taking this administration seriously. I think what’s been happening since the vid “crisis” began is evil, but it’s the *Karens* of the world who are in charge now and I just don’t think they’re strong enough to transform their rhetoric into a legit Terror. I’ve prepared for it, but I don’t see it happening anymore.

        I think they’ve played at revolution, but what they’re really fighting for is to maintain the status quo of the government’s crawl toward socialism. The real revolution will be in breaking up the federal leviathan, decentralizing DC, becoming more state gov oriented, IMHO. Idk how that comes about, but the Biden admin ain’t part of it. He & his are going to be so insignificant and transitory in hindsight.

      • kbolino

        I agree that Biden is irrelevant and I think the love for him is (very) fake. He gets to have his name in the 46th position of a list that matters to people like him and he gets to be remembered as the guy who beat the really bad guy who was 45th on that list. That’s it, that’s his trophy for being the deceptive geezer who pushed a shitty ticket over the line.

        The establishment knows that Presidents are transient. They play the long game. Biden is as disposable as Trump. They mean to rule unchecked. I think they will fail, but that’s not going to stop them from trying.

      • Plisade

        “I think they will fail”

        Me too. And I’m excited about what cool thing our country will evolve into on the other side of this madness.

      • Tundra

        Yes.

      • zwak

        Thirded.

        I have a feeling that we are on the crest of a hill as the country realigns. It is obvious that the country is turning in an alt/conservative direction, hence the complete freakout of the left right now. The real question is how much damage they will do in the death throws.

      • leon

        They are acting like every Col is a possible Terrorist Threat. This is being done to send a message, just like keeping troops in DC was done to send a message to the country.

      • rhywun

        That they both despise and are terrified of the American people and the principles that those dead white guys set down on paper.

      • Hyperion

        “But why? To weaken our military? ”

        CCP Joe says ‘feature, not bug’.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A new draft should counter that quite nicely.

    • Not Adahn

      the Celtic Cross

      Presbyterians need not apply.

      • Rat on a train

        You would think they would target plain crosses to get rid of the Baptists.

      • Tonio

        That’s all of you vulgar protestants, actually. /Eddie

      • westernsloper

        *snickers

    • Not Adahn

      As an ethnic Kekistani, I’m allowed to sue the US government now to be allowed into the army, right?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Is religious headgear involved? If so, yes.

    • db

      What, no top hats or monocles?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But the commies can stay

    • Rat on a train

      I challenge 4Chan to expand that list.

      • db

        See if they can get the Harry Potter “Deathly Hallows” symbol banned.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The rainbow flag would be a good one to go after. It’s either rob them of a beloved symbol or they’d have to finally acknowledge that the banning of appropriated symbols is idiotic.

      • db

        Rainbow flag, but in “subdued” camo colors. Or maybe the Pink Pistols logo

      • Swiss Servator

        db – I answered you back when you asked about Harris and the prisoners.

      • rhywun

        OMG I want to see rainbow flags at the next “Proud Boys” terror-riot-insurrection. I would LMAO so hard.

      • Rat on a train

        right turn only signs

    • Tonio

      The celtic cross? Seriously? IOW, any symbol used at any point in history by anyone they don’t like, regardless of its predominant use.

      • leon

        I don’t know how this could pass many challenges…

        But it probably will.

      • grrizzly

        If the ok sign is racist…

      • slumbrew

        Irish Catholics hardest hit.

      • kinnath

        They can have my Celtic cross when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

      • Rat on a train

        I keep mine on the wall. It’s also cold and dead.

      • Ownbestenemy

        My Thors hammer with celctic pattern tattoo always makes me wonder if I am a racist

      • leon

        Wonder no more!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well since I work for FedGov…I am waiting to see what happens. I do have a safety sensitive position

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      A lot of the Capitol rioters were carrying American flags. I think we need to add that to the list.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Or what Not Adahn said.

    • The Other Kevin

      Are the NRA and Republican party on that naughty list yet?

      • leon

        Soon. You have many people calling them Domestic Terrorists and Fascists. I expect there will be an attempt to outlaw GOP or the LP in the next 10 years.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        “in the next 10 years”

        So next month then?

    • westernsloper

      Hoe. Lee. Fuck.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, shit’s getting real, and fast.

    • Gadfly

      The silver lining to this is that they must not think there is a manpower shortage, which means they probably aren’t going to get us into any wars. When there is a manpower shortage in the military, standards are generally relaxed. But if this is the thinking of the day, they must have plenty of recruits. And we are safe from a new draft, as all it would take for a draftee who didn’t want to serve to disqualify themselves would be to associate with one of these forbidden groups/symbols. Don’t even have to flee to Canada, just post an edgy meme.

  10. DEG

    Wisconsin Assembly ends statewide mask mandate

    Assembly Republicans on Thursday voted to end Wisconsin’s mask mandate, tossing out the only statewide regulation in place to curb the spread of COVID-19.

    The 52-42 vote caps a week of start-and-stop efforts to strike down Democratic Gov. Tony Evers’ initiative and the underlying public health emergency declaration that served as its backing, leaving Wisconsin in a minority of states without a face covering requirement.

    Republican lawmakers didn’t initially convene Thursday’s floor session planning to immediately repeal the measure; their original plan would have required the Senate to concur in the move later this month. But by deciding to sign off on a version of the resolution that previously cleared the Senate, Assembly Republicans avoided further delaying their push to deliver a death blow to the language.

    The measure, which received opposition from Assembly Democrats and seven Republicans, won’t take effect until Friday, when Republican legislative leaders sign it.

    • Chafed

      That is one confusing article. It looks like the governor still has to sign the bill. But I’m not sure from the way it is written. I’m old enough to remember when journalists could write coherently.

      • DEG

        It looks like it was somehow tied in with or associated with a bail-out bill.

        The governor doesn’t have to sign whatever ended the mask mandate.

      • Old Man With Candy
      • DEG

        Fuck.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Mask wearing is so undeniably effective that we have to FORCE you rubes to wear them.

      Just like we had to pass the Don’t Eat Shit Mandate to keep you all from eating feces morning, noon and night. Everyone knows that unless there is a strict mandate that people won’t know what to do.

      A Domestic Terrorist might think that mandates wouldn’t be needed if they were really effective because people would want to wear them. But who is going to listen to a known bad thinker.

    • Agent Cooper

      “only statewide regulation in place to curb the spread of COVID-19.”

      Just one? No wonder so many many deaths.

  11. grrizzly

    Don’t leopards spend most of the day napping and doing nothing? That wasn’t any different.

  12. Count Potato

    “She also did not make any mention on the House floor Thursday of her subscribing to a belief Hillary Clinton and longtime aide Huma Abedin cut off a child’s face while she was alive and then organized the killing of a cop who knew about it.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9223805/House-vote-booting-Marjorie-Taylor-Greene-committees-GOP-gives-standing-ovation.html

    So you are saying Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin cut off a child’s face?

    • Hyperion

      “So you are saying Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin cut off a child’s face?”

      Pretty sure they’ve done worse in SF articles.

      • Count Potato

        Definitely sure they’ve done worse in reality.

    • Agent Cooper

      CathyNewmanGIFhere.

    • rhywun

      YOU get a struggle session, and YOU get a struggle session, and YOU get a struggle session….!

    • SugarFree

      I honestly think I might have started that one.

      • westernsloper

        ?

  13. Count Potato

    “Trump resigns from Actors Guild with VERY pointed letter after it threatened to expel him over Capitol riot: Ex-President says ‘Who Cares?’ about expulsion before touting his achievements on the big and small screen

    The union had accused him of violating the union’s ‘sacred values of democracy, truth and respect’ in the wake of the deadly siege in DC on January 6. ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9225083/Donald-Trump-RESIGNS-Screen-Actors-Guild-rant-filled-letter.html

    LOLOLOLOLOL

    • Count Potato

      “Ms. Carteris:

      I write to you today regarding the so-called Disciplinary Committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership. Who cares!

      While I’m not familiar with your work, I’m very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone 2, Zoolander and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; and television shows including The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saturday Night Live , and of course, one of the most successful shows in television history, The Apprentice—to name just a few!

      I’ve also greatly helped the cable news television business (said to be a dying platform with not much time left until I got involved in politics), and created thousands of jobs at networks such as MSDNC and Fake News CNN, among many others.

      Which brings me to your blatant attempt at free media attention to distract from your dismal record as a union. Your organization has done little for its members, and nothing for me—besides collecting dues and promoting dangerous un-American policies and ideas—as evident by your massive unemployment rates and lawsuits from celebrated actors, who even recorded a video asking, ‘Why isn’t the union fighting for me?’”

      These, however, are policy failures. Your disciplinary failures are even more egregious.

      I no longer wish to be associated with your union.

      As such, this letter is to inform you of my immediate resignation from SAG-AFTRA. You have done nothing for me.

      Regards,

      President Donald J. Trump”

      • Chipwooder

        Gabrielle Carteris? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….has she even acted since 90210 went off the air?

      • Endless Mike

        Those who can’t do, govern.

      • pistoffnick

        Gabby Carter?

        Ears (and other appendages) perk up!

      • Gdragon

        I think it’s spelled “Gabbie”, no? Although I’m sure there’s a film or two where it’s spelled with a “y”, there’s always a few like that.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        He should have added “PS. Nobody believed you were a high school kid. You looked 30. Maybe even 40. Over the hill and lame! Sad.”

      • SugarFree

        She was 29 when the series began, 39 when it ended.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I like it, a fine representation of you can’t fire me ‘cause I quit.

    • Ted S.

      Unsurprising, but disgusting that the people who decry the Hollywood Blacklist are the ones trying to expel people for wrongthink.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Uh hello this is totally different. Back then they were blacklisting good people, now we’re blacklisting bad people. Duh.

      • leon

        But that was blacklisting of communists, they don’t violate the unions ‘sacred values of democracy, truth and respect’

  14. Count Potato

    Who the fuck is The Weekend?

    • Tres Cool

      The Situation’s cousin ?

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Who everybody is working for?

      • db

        I’ll take “Second Chances” for $800, Alex.

      • PBRstreetgang

        I was trying to come up with something, but this appears to be the correct answer.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        +1 pair of hot pants

      • Tres Cool

        + Get Lucky

    • leon

      i think the joke starts with someone saying “I’m Thirsty”

    • Agent Cooper

      It’s The Weeknd.

    • rhywun

      Somebody hasn’t watched the NFL this year.

  15. KromulentKristen

    The VLA will always be biggest in heart

  16. db

    Sea Whip? Canceled!

  17. Rebel Scum

    Foreseeable consequence.

    Ralphs and Food 4 Less, both owned by the parent company Kroger, announced Monday that they will be closing 25% of their stores in Long Beach after the city council passed an ordinance requiring companies with over 300 employees nationwide to pay employees an extra $4 per hour.

    “As a result of the City of Long Beach’s decision to pass an ordinance mandating Extra Pay for grocery workers, we have made the difficult decision to permanently close long-struggling store locations in Long Beach,” said a company spokesperson. “This misguided action by the Long Beach City Council oversteps the traditional bargaining process and applies to some, but not all, grocery workers in the city.”

    • Chafed

      Of course the Long Beach City Council will learn nothing from this.

      • one true athena

        And neither will Garcetti, who has yet to see a dumb idea he doesn’t immediately want to adopt.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s best for the employees. They can now get good jobs building solar panels.

      • zwak

        I hear food deserts are the best place to have a solar panel array.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::golf clap::

  18. The Late P Brooks

    There you have it. Standard Libertarian Ideology is considered terrorism by the US Government.

    They’re not going to take that “Defund the government!!” shit lying down. That’s eliminationist rhetoric; an existential threat.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Mollie
    @MZHemingway

    I’m glad there is technology and means to find, arrest, and charge rioters. So weird that the technology and prosecution doesn’t work on rioters who spent the better part of a year razing cities, attacking federal courthouses, burning down churches, police HQ. Wonder why that is.

    Yeah, weird.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I don’t think I could, physically, get drunk enough to call the cops voluntarily.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Which one of you is this?

    I can’t believe I’m saying this… a mask-less customer was turned away at Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles in Pasadena tonight. So he came back with a GUN, held up kitchen staff and robbed fried chicken, waffles and syrup.

    This is per the manager & police. Surveillance video coming!

    Here is surveillance video of the Roscoe’s Chicken n Waffle robbery. The guy walks in with a gun, through the back, to the kitchen. The guy told the cook, “PUT THE CHICKEN IN THE BAG.” I can’t make this up.

    • db

      Real chicken and waffles doesn’t have syrup.

      • Count Potato

        Yes, honey.

      • db

        disgusting.

      • Hyperion

        Anyone who would eat waffles with chicken and syrup on them is already pretty fucked up. That’s disgusting.

      • db

        Real chicken and waffles is a savory, not sweet, dish. The waffles can be very slightly sweet, but it should have a savory gravy with cubed or shredded baked chicken breast.

      • Hyperion

        “Real chicken and waffles is a savory”

        That place cannot be in FL. It has to be in Baltimore. If there’s a place that can have chicken in the name, it exists here.

        Hip Hop Chicken and Fish.

        Fish, Chicken, and Lake Trout.

        Chicken, chicken, and chicken.

        At least one of those on every block in the city.

      • db

        It’s a central PA thing. Our chicken and waffles is nothing like the Southern versions.

      • Suthenboy

        I agree. The proper dressing for fried chicken is either Tabasco Sauce or pickled jalapeños and the vinegar they are pickled in. I think it is illegal in Louisiana to use anything else.

      • Count Potato

        Honey on fried chicken is great.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It was a sticky situation. Cut him some slack.

      • db

        I will neither waver nor compromise on my position with regard to these waffles.

      • Nephilium

        Around here it’s usually a hot honey that’s served with it. This has bitten the girlfriend once.

      • db

        A Pittsburgh restaurant I used to frequent had a chicken and waffles special one night and I assumed it was what I had had as a kid growing up in central PA. I nearly spit out the first bite, it was such a shock. I was partially clued in by the distinct lack of gravy but still wasn’t prepared for a sweet flavor.

    • Tres Cool

      I wonder if he was at least wearing a mask when he robbed the place.

    • Not Adahn

      Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles played a significant part in Mr. Susan Sarandon’s best performance.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you don’t want people pulling guns in your joint, don’t name it “Roscoe’s”. You are basically asking for it.

      Can’t we all learn from the disaster that was Baby Gat?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    What, no top hats or monocles?

    Something like this?

    Totally anti-American and out of bounds. Racist, too.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Misogynistic too.

  22. Rebel Scum

    Remember this guy?

    Newspaper cartoon depicts @MarkRobinsonNC, the first black Lt. Governor of NC, as a klan member. See his response below. Every member of the @GOP should watch this and learn.

    • leon

      White Supremacy is more fluid than just white people feeling racist. In fact if you think that, it’s proof you’ve been indoctrinated by white supremaicsts. / Communists.

    • Hyperion

      No shit. The GOP had better grow a fucking spine and fast and start trying to protect their constituents because the left are going to push this as far as they can until everyone they disagree with is forced out of society and into the gulags.

  23. Pope Jimbo

    What exactly did people think the leopard would do to the dog? Basic physics says that the leopard can do nothing to alter the state of the dog.

    Everyone knows a leopard can’t change his Spot.

    • leon

      :Gets up, Starts Slow Clap:

    • slumbrew

      BOOOOOOOOOO! Booooooo! Boooo.

      You should go to the box and feel shame.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It looks like the box is littered with other cat puns

      • Plinker762

        BOOOOOOOURNS

    • db

      Once the inside of the room was observed, all other possibilities were foreclosed.

      • pistoffnick

        Nice!

    • The Other Kevin

      I would berate you for that, but I’m feline generous.

      • Tres Cool

        stop being catty

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dont be a pussy,
        Cat

      • Pope Jimbo

        Thanks for letting me enjoy my stupid puns. Lord knows I don’t ocelot from life, but I do love groaners.

    • Plisade

      I disagree. A leopard would thlaughter a dog like an eth eth panther division.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Industrial strength suicide

    A video that was taken at a South Florida grocery store shows nearly every customer and employee without a mask.

    The footage was filmed this week at Oakes Farms Seed to Table Market in Naples, about 42 miles south of Fort Myers. In it, not a mask is in sight and social distancing is not being followed.

    As of Thursday morning, the video on NBC News correspondent Sam Brock’s Twitter page has generated 7,600 comments, nearly 16,000 retweets and more than 20,000 likes. Reactions run the gamut, with some defending the customers and employees and others expressing outrage.

    ——-

    Even though the county has a mask mandate in place, Oakes’ store has a sign out front that states customers do not have to wear one if they have a medical condition.

    “Those in our lovely government have ordered all persons entering indoor facilities to wear a mask. If you have a medical condition that prevents you from wearing a mask, you are exempt from this order. Due to HIPAA and the 4th Amendment we cannot legally ask you about your medical condition,” it reads.

    “Therefore, if we see you without a mask, we will assume you have a medical condition and we will welcome you inside to support our business.”

    OH

    MY

    GOD!

    • R C Dean

      I’m still trying to figure out* why people are OUTRAGED that people who they aren’t even around aren’t wearing masks.

      I mean, as long as everyone you encounter is wearing a mask, aren’t you “safe”? Even if they are sick?

      *Not really.

    • Suthenboy

      The world has gone insane.

    • Chipwooder

      My favorite BBQ joint used to have a sign like that. Sadly, they must have gotten a visit from Coonman’s Gestapo because it was replaced with one saying masks are required, no exceptions

      • rhywun

        If I were independently wealthy I would fight that shit in court.

      • Nephilium

        A couple places here had up signs like that. One of them has had their liquor license pulled.

    • Rat on a train

      I’ve seen a similar sign at a local business. Sure enough, I went inside without a mask, did my business, and walked out.

    • Tonio

      I know of a business here in greater RVA that has a similar sign. I’m not going to be any more specific because I’m trying to protect them.

    • grrizzly

      After watching this video last night we booked a flight to the area in March to be around sane people for a week.

    • Endless Mike

      They would be aghast at my little town in eastern Montana – almost everyone is unmasked, everywhere.

    • rhywun

      Great scoop, Nancy Drew!

    • kbolino

      Just need that picture of Donald Sutherland pointing and screeching from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

  25. Not Adahn

    I cannot believe hipsters are trying to co-opt the foil hat!

    https://getlambs.com

    • leon

      Thousands of peer-reviewed studies link cell phone radiation exposure to heightened cancer & fertility risks. Our proprietary WaveStopper technology effectively blocks 99% of wireless radiation (EMF).

      • slumbrew

        You need to protect your precious bodily fluids.

    • Tulip

      That’s got to be a fake site. Lambs? Might as well call it sheeple.

  26. Tundra

    ‘Sup?

  27. Pope Jimbo

    Spend like a war baby! So sayeth the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis.

    As Congress debates the size and scope of a new federal stimulus package, the leader of the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis endorsed one-time checks for many Americans and said the government should treat financial help during the pandemic as “war-time spending.”

    “We have the capacity for this war-time spending to support our fellow Americans until we get this pandemic behind us,” said Neel Kashkari, in a hearing before the state Senate Finance Committee on Tuesday.

    And that was just the start of his good ideas. Wonder how you get that job. Doesn’t seem like a strong background in economics or finance is required.

    • R C Dean

      We have the capacity

      “Look, everybody knows most of the money supply is digital. We don’t have to worry about paper or printing through-put or any of that. So when I say “we have the capacity”, I mean we just upgraded our servers. They can now handle several quadrillion dollars. So have at it!”

    • Tundra

      It’s Modern Monetary Theory, dude. It says ‘Modern’ right there in the name. Get with the times, geezer.

    • Gadfly

      If the US hadn’t been running trillion dollar deficits before the pandemic, this would not be unreasonable. As it stands, they are throwing gasoline onto a fire. The US has a $28T debt it’s going to have to inflate its way out of, and adding more to that won’t be helping anyone in the long run.

  28. Certified Public Asshat

    Snopes: Did AOC Exaggerate the Danger She Was in During Capitol Riot?

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez exaggerated the danger she was in during the Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol riot, in that she “wasn’t even in the Capitol building” when the rioting occurred.

    Mostly False

    What’s True

    Ocasio-Cortez wasn’t in the main Capitol building where the House and Senate Chambers are located.

    What’s False

    However, Ocasio-Cortez never claimed to be in the main Capitol building. When the attack on the Capitol began, Ocasio-Cortez was, as she stated, in her congressional office, which is located in a network of office buildings immediately surrounding the Capitol, and her office building was one of the two buildings that were evacuated.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      She just left out the information that her congressional office isn’t located in the CB proper while being entirely cognizant of the fact that people would make that assumption. A transparent lie by omission but what hell, I give it a “Mostly True.”

      • Suthenboy

        By ‘mostly true’ I assume you mean ‘calculated fabrication’.

    • slumbrew

      Snopes became a politicized pile of shit some years ago. Sad; they used to be my go-to (mostly in response to stupid e-mails from my mom).

      • Tonio

        ^This.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        You were getting stupid emails from Slumbrew’s mom too?

      • slumbrew

        Given how long the e-mail chains of 80-year-olds end up being, he probably got one or two of them.

    • R C Dean

      Not addressed: the claim that she exaggerated the danger she was in.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I guess it is implied in that she was safely evacuated.

      • R C Dean

        Was she? Last I heard, she was hiding in her bathroom and scared to death of a cop. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t bash her for being scared of a cop.

        But I certainly don’t watch her inane TikToks or whatever those video monologues that she posts are, and generally try to ignore her.

      • Old Man With Candy

        By “evacuated,” he means, “shit her panties.”

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Fourscore

        Beat me to it

      • zwak

        He beat me too…

      • The Last American Hero

        Um, please have some decorum and use the phrase “pulling a Nadler”.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Has Snopes weighed in on her shiny new claim to be a sexual assault survivor? It is why the capitol riot was so triggering to her.

      US Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has revealed that she is a survivor of sexual assault.

      Her statement came as she described the trauma of hiding from a violent mob that stormed the Capitol last month.

      She also claims Republicans are using “the tactics of abusers” by telling lawmakers to “move on” from the trauma.

      • Tonio

        Sticky trap alert! That sort of thing can never be disproven. And to even question it is to be a misogynist pig.

        After all, look what happened to Robbie when he tried to debunk that Tiger Beat (or whoever) rape hoax story from UVA.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Mattress Girl?

      • Not Adahn

        Jackie Coakley, not Emma Sulkowiz.

        Fun fact: To this day, Robbie won’t mention “Jackie’s” last name becasue she’s somehow still a “victim.”

      • Count Potato

        That’s retarded.

    • Suthenboy

      No, she did not exaggerate. She lied her ass off. SOP for her.

    • rhywun

      LOL, never change (again) Snopes

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Depraved indifference

    Noem’s comments dismayed Dr. Nancy Babbitt, a primary care physician in Rapid City, South Dakota. Babbitt told CNN that it is “painful from a doctor’s point of view” to see the governor celebrate her economy-focused decisions without explaining that those decisions caused “real pain and suffering” from additional infections and additional deaths.

    Noem supported some limited pandemic restrictions in 2020. But she has generally been a vocal opponent of restrictions and mandates, earning national media attention — and sparking some speculation about the possibility of a run for president in 2024 — by advocating for “freedom” and “personal responsibility.”

    Noem has also endorsed large gatherings without social distancing. South Dakota’s fall coronavirus crisis came after the annual, massive Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in August, which Noem supported holding during the pandemic.

    I particularly like the scare quotes for freedom and personal responsibility. Just imagine what the hall monitors at CNN would say if she mentioned self-ownership.

    Yikes, what a k-o-o-k that woman is.

    And tell me again about the dead people stacked like cordwood on Sturgis’ street corners, awaiting pickup by the front end loaders and dump trucks. They must have some really juicy footage of that.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Sturgis infection rate: about 0.1%.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Minnesoda Dept of Health (and our Gov) still bring up the Sturgis Apocalypse as a reason we have to listen to them more.

    • Tonio

      What about the collective pain and suffering of people affected by the decisions of public health nannies and hysterics like you, doc? I’ll see your (smallish) pile of bodies and raise you an entire economy destroyed. That doesn’t generate gloopy photos of exhausted nurses, but somehow the media is disinterested in displaced workers, evicted families, etc. STFU you mendacious POS.

    • rhywun

      these decisions caused “real pain and suffering” from additional infections and additional deaths

      I remember in school we had to write these things called “proofs” and we had to “show our work”. Relics of another age, I guess.

    • Gadfly

      Noem’s comments dismayed Dr. Nancy Babbitt, a primary care physician in Rapid City, South Dakota. Babbitt told CNN that it is “painful from a doctor’s point of view” to see the governor celebrate her economy-focused decisions without explaining that those decisions caused “real pain and suffering” from additional infections and additional deaths.

      Does the good doctor work for free? For substantially less than the going rate? No? Well, then I think she should have no problem with economy-focused decisions, as that’s what drives her own life (as it does almost everyone’s).

  30. Count Potato

    “Sanders, Ocasio-Cortez, Blumenauer aim to require Biden to declare climate emergency

    Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.) introduced legislation on Thursday that would require the president to declare a national emergency on climate change.

    Declaring a national emergency would give President Biden more power to combat climate change, including the ability to direct extra funding to the issue.

    The long-shot resolution follows a statement from Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) suggesting that Biden could declare a climate emergency to be able to take additional actions using emergency powers. ”

    https://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/537338-sanders-ocasio-cortez-aim-to-require-biden-to-declare-climate

    No.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t believe they care about your opinion on the subject.

    • rhywun

      Grifters, the fucking lot of them.

      That’s it, if something like that passes, we’re done.

  31. Count Potato

    “David Hogg launching competitor to Mike Lindell’s MyPillow

    March for Our Lives co-founder David Hogg tweeted on Thursday that he and software developer William LeGate are launching a pillow company to compete against MyPillow, which is led by Trump supporter CEO Mike Lindell.

    https://www.axios.com/david-hogg-pillow-mike-lindell-mypillow-legate-6d23b1a7-50b1-4f31-9391-53e69e36ca58.html

    MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell told Axios in a text Thursday morning, “Good for them…. nothing wrong with competition that does not infringe on someone’s patent.””

    • R C Dean

      “[W]e would like to do it sooner but we have strict guidelines on sustainability and [U.S.] based Union producers,” Hogg added.

      With those in place, I doubt his business will be sustainable.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Will Hogg’s be ideal for biting?

      I know it was low brow, but I could not resist.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

        Please don’t resist.

    • Old Man With Candy

      US 7,461,424

    • The Other Kevin

      “Good for them…. nothing wrong with competition that does not infringe on someone’s patent.””

      I’m sure they can come up with something. How hard could it be to invent something, if white supremacist shitlords can do it?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I’m sure they can come up with something. How hard could it be to invent something, if white supremacist shitlords a recovering drug addict can do it?

        The truth makes Hogg even more an an asshole.

    • db

      That kid has got to have so much proggy tail chasing him at an institution like Harvard that he’ll get in over his head. It’s pretty likely he’ll overplay it and find himself on the wrong side of a sexual harassment proceeding.

      • grrizzly

        I have no idea which year Hogg is–but most Harvard students are not on campus this year. I think it’s only the freshmen in the fall and the seniors in the spring.

    • Chipwooder

      David Hogg is the least intimidating human being on the planet. Greta Thunberg is like Anton Chigurh next to him.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m laughing right now thinking of Hogg playing Woody Harelson’s part in the scene where he and Chigurh are in the hotel facing each other.

        With Greta holding him at gunpoint and Hogg saying “Do you even realize how insane you are?”

      • slumbrew

        Greta Thunberg is like Anton Chigurh next to him.

        *Legit belly laugh.*

        That’s up there with “Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X” (though we won’t get an all-time great comedy sketch out of it).

    • Tonio

      OMG, this is going to be delicious. And the even better (implied) news is that he will not be offered a post in the Harris(Biden) administration.

      • slumbrew

        Wait, was that an expected thing? A position doing what? He’s a man-child of no accomplishment who nobody but true believers find compelling.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Right. So a perfect fit for a Cabinet seat in the current administration or DNC Chairman.

      • Rat on a train

        What’s Kalpen up to? Surely there is a place for him.

      • Tonio

        My understanding from my proggie shitweasel contacts is that the people from the salaried positions at the worst lefty opinion shops you can imagine are being appointed to those FedGov agency and unit head positions (sub-cabinet level), and that the people who previously did unpaid volunteer labor for the opinion shops are being slotted into the paid positions at those shops.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I thought unpaid positions were a sign of white privilege. Why are the Dems perpetuating white privilege?

      • DEG

        THAT’S DIFFERENT!!!!1111!

    • Pope Jimbo

      MyMaskPillow!

      It’s a pillow! It’s a mask! It is both! Now you won’t have to risk getting the Rona when you snooze.

      It is also made out of kevlar to protect you from Domestic Terrorists who are shooting up schools. And it has a built in tape recorder to capture enthusiastic consent of any boy/girl/xe that you lure into your bedroom.

      • Rat on a train

        And a speaker so you can fall to sleep to recordings of Biden’s speeches.

      • Pope Jimbo

        And can be used as kneepads if you are an ambitious young lady trying to get her start in CA politics.

      • Pope Jimbo

        That same ambitious young lady can use the same pillow later to smother her boss and break that glass ceiling!

    • Agent Cooper

      Hogg needs to get addicted to crack first, and then test out making his pillow on his back deck of his house with his kids by tearing up pieces of other pillows and putting them into pillowcases to figure out the best foam combinations.

    • B.P.

      Sounds similar to when a movie star launches a brand of liquor.

      • Not Adahn

        It will have a fantastic opening with vast sales, like a new book by Hillary or Obama.

        And then fare as well as Air America.

    • zwak

      $50 says it is a sock puppet, a single sock puppet for single guys!

      And it doubles as a mask when your mom bursts in.

  32. Agent Cooper

    While I’m probably not a fan of Majorie Taylor-Greene, (I don’t really know her politics?) the vote today to kick her off committees for her beliefs I fear puts us past a tipping point.

    • slumbrew

      She’s a legit kook, as far as I can tell, but I’d be happier about her being dropped from committees if they had ever done anything similar for the ‘D’ kooks, like Hank Johnson.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Kicking kooks off of congressional committees should be done in a bipartisan fashion or not at all. I do agree that she is an embarrassing nut bar but this is a case of selective enforcement if I’ve ever seen one and the definition of kook will be applied to anyone to the right of Manchin if it helps the left’s cause.

      • DEG

        We should just bring back Jim Traficant.

      • R C Dean

        It should never be done. They are elected officials, and kicking them off committees robs their constituents of representation.

      • The Hyperbole

        Their constituents didn’t vote them on to committees , they voted them into office if they can’t effectively govern from that office perhaps their constituents should elect a more effective spokesperson.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You know, you’re right, kicking people with certain views off of the committee positions they hold not only robs their constituents, it also restricts allowable viewpoints to the most milquetoast and unimaginative available. It shouldn’t be done at all, let the voters fire her if they don’t like what she says.

      • B.P.

        Or leadership that makes the appointments, in this case House minority leadership, removes the legislator from committees, not the opposite party.

      • kbolino

        The way Congressional committees work with or without ideological expulsions is already denying lots of people representation. You have to be on certain committees to have the deep state even pretend to tell you things that are pretty damn important to deciding how to craft legislation and whether to enact it, and getting seats on those committees is not gonna happen already for any outsiders. Even among the already-too-few 435 Representatives and 100 Senators, they are not equals.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or outright criminals like Alsee Hastings.

    • DEG

      She has some political positions I don’t like, but I like some of what I see in this campaign video.

    • Tonio

      It’s not really democracy if you can reject the choice of the voters of her district. Of course it’s always different when they do it.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’d rather have the kooks running things. The sly backstabbing assholes currently in charge get too much bad stuff passed.

      • Plisade

        Idk why but this has me intrigued.

    • kbolino

      The GOP already caved on Steve King (R-IA, former) after the NYT ran a hit piece on him. If we’ve passed a turning point, it already happened.

      • kbolino

        Apparently, none of the House GOP voted yea on expelling her from her committees. I’ll give them that, at least.

      • grrizzly

        Where’s Juvenile Bluster? Haven’t seen him since the insurrection in DC. He would always be here peddling the received narrative before I even get the morning news. I distinctly remember learning about Steve King’s transgressions from JB’s comments. The same can be said about the serious side effects of HCQ. I had definitely heard about the side effects from JB here before I learned that HCQ could be promising against corona.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He left in a huff and I doubt he’ll be back.

      • Count Potato

        Again?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let me know when they go after Waters.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, how about we talk about possibly the most corrupt person in Congress with Maxine. Maybe a couple of full blown antisemites in there too? Pretty sure one of them thinks the jews control the weather. But no prob there. They pass a resolution condemning hate speech and never mention the cunts name.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    King Walz has actually deigned to work on a budget with the legislature. I’m not going to sugar coat it, it isn’t pretty.

    The governor released a key part of his security plan for Chauvin’s trial last week: a $35 million fund to reimburse police and sheriff’s departments who help out metro cops and state responders. The idea is to entice outside help for increased security by making sure costs like overtime and lodging don’t fall on police helping in Minneapolis. Walz asked the Legislature to approve the money by Monday, Feb. 8.

    • Pope Jimbo

      The plan has already faced opposition from Republicans in the Legislature who argue it would make state taxpayers responsible for backstopping a smaller Minneapolis police budget. The GOP proposed its own measure Thursday to withhold government aid from Minneapolis to pay for any reimbursements. Law enforcement has also raised concerns they would be greeted as hostile interlopers by city residents and local government.

      Meanwhile, Democrats hope to make state police licensing officials write new policy standards for crowd control and take other measures to tamp down worries that law enforcement will use excessive force on protesters.

      You want me to stick my dick in that knothole? And why again are you writing new rules about wasp fighting just as I’m thinking about actually doing it?

    • Agent Cooper

      Would moving the trial to International Falls help?

  34. KSuellington

    Heheheh, I like this gun totin’ Lauren Borbert woman. This sounds like she’d fit right in here.

    @laurenboebert
    Hypocrisy 101: @IlhanMN cites my legitimate mileage reimbursements while she paid her husband* over $1 million in campaign consulting fees.

    *Not her brother, the new husband.

    • slumbrew

      *Not her brother, the new husband.

      I like the cut of her jib.

      Her Twitter profile pic is quite MILF-y. Which is not a bad thing.

      • KSuellington

        I’m hoping that she and a few others are what we are going to see as the new face of the GOP. If Trump demonstrated anything it was that the way forward is to relentlessly mock Dem idiocy and not bow down in the face of criticism.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Boebert should stick to the facts.

      Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) violated state campaign finance rules when she used funds from her congressional campaign for personal travel expenses, Minnesota campaign finance officials ruled Thursday.

      The Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board decided Thursday that Omar’s use of campaign funds for personal out-of-state travel and to pay for her tax returns violated state campaign finance rules, according to The Associated Press.

      The board ruled that Omar must reimburse her former campaign committee nearly $3,500 and pay the state a civil penalty of $500 for using campaign money to travel to Florida.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also problematic

        ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) — Democratic state Rep. Ilhan Omar says she’s returning $2,500 in speaking fees to public college scholarship funds after a GOP lawmaker raised concerns.

        Rep. Steve Drazkowski questioned those payments Monday. The Mazeppa Republican says it’s a major ethical lapse for a lawmaker to take that money from an organization that lobbies at the Legislature.

        Economic disclosure reports filed with Congress and Drazkowski’s own public records requests revealed the speaking fees she accepted from Normandale Community College and Inver Hills Community College last year. Minnesota House rules bars representatives from accepting speaking fees from entities with business at the Legislature.

        Omar said in a statement she accepted the engagements before being elected and didn’t realize they caused a problem. Omar is a first-term lawmaker now running for Congress.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t see anything contradicting Boebert’s claims.

    • Tundra

      Niiiice.

    • wdalasio

      All that and she’s not bad looking.

      • KSuellington

        Yup, total Milf.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, like I say below they are a huge red flag. WTF that is a huge number? But she actually did campaign so who knows. And I don’t know anything about the Qanon claims. They label all new members as Qanon. I never heard her talk about them and I live in her district.

        Over the last 10 years, Mr Tipton’s reimbursements account for a total of $12,255 from his campaign.

        That asshole never left DC from what I can tell and never campaigned. He knew he was going to win in this district because it encompasses 95% of red CO. The district is massive and he just floated along.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Whether she supports the psyop known as Q has no bearing on whether or not her reimbursements are legit. That being said, 38,000 miles does seem to be a tad high.

      • The Hyperbole

        Agreed , it’s just different levels of grift. Omar-millions, BoBert-ten of thousands, Gun Barbie needs to up her game.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, why take the risk for a paltry sum? Go big or go home.

      • westernsloper

        Oh ya, totally agree. I linked a story the other day about it. (maybe yesterday?) My first thought was, what the hell are you doing dumb ass they are going to be all over that. And they are. If they are legit should be easy to prove with an appointment calendar. My guess is she counted all the miles she was driving around the state begging money from the big wig Repubs in the smaller communities (which by my experience are first rate assholes)(and would be counted as strategy meetings or some such) and her district almost covers half the state. It is huge. I have no idea if they are legit and agree she needs to prove it because I called bullshit when I first read it.

      • Agent Cooper

        5k miles a month. Is that for one car, or for several on the campaign team?

        Maybe I should become a fucking “journalist” and ask such questions.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I was wondering that too. If it’s several vehicles and several drivers the mileage is way more plausible.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s $1200 per year or about 4000 miles per year at $0.35 per mile.

        Big whoop

      • The Hyperbole

        Maybe I’m reading it wrong but the article claims she got $22,000 for about 10 months worth of travel.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        She should just borrow military transports like Nancy does.

      • westernsloper

        I heard they got to claim $0.57 (maybe .51) for campaign related travel. Still a big number.

    • westernsloper

      The reimbursement to herself seems a bit HUGE to be honest. If she can prove they are legit expenses no prob, but it raised my eyebrows. Granted I will take her over Tipton who was a an oatmeal on white toast go along to get along pos who thought his seat in CO 3rd was good for life. Then gun toting milfalishis came rolling in. The Dems are lining up to run against her because the media even here are bashing her because she is pissing everyone off. Which I like, but the reimbursements need to be explained.

    • Endless Mike

      You would think it would be a bigger controversy that she cut off her husband’s penis that one time.

      • westernsloper

        LOL!

        I did hear Boebert was arrested once and ya they beat her up over that too. (I don’t think it was cutting anyones dick off) She’s a fuckin Qanon believing criminal.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *chuckle*

      Musk is a funny dude.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Destroyer of shorts

      Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

  35. Suthenboy

    BTW, I just got a call this afternoon that a former colleague of mine died from the cootie bugs. Upon further questioning of other former colleagues I discovered that he just happened to have a heart attack at the same time he was dying of cooties.
    Reminds me of the doctor who claims he was pressured to claim all deaths the result of the pandemic and he responded “But this one has bullet holes in him”

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • KSuellington

      The bullet holes just exacerbated the super cootie infection that was wrecking havoc on his body.

    • R C Dean

      A bad case of COVID can cause congestive heart failure, but (probably?) not an actual heart attack.

      • Suthenboy

        He died of. a heart attack. He was fine. He was walking across the Lowes parking lot and just took a nose dive. Doc said he was dead before he hit the ground.
        I dont know why they marked him as a cootie death. I guess because reasons.
        Damned shame. We used to reload and shoot together.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now there’s a country song.

        Lowe’s parking lot, Lowe’s parking lot
        Congestive heart failure spot

      • Count Potato

        Sorry 🙁

  36. Count Potato

    “BREAKING: House Resolution 91 has PASSED and Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Georgia) has been removed from the Education and Budget committees.”

    https://twitter.com/vote4robgill/status/1357421868664446977

    The vote looks just like Democrats kicking a Republican off committees.

    • kbolino

      Q-Georgia

      I realize this is just because they’re petty idiots, but I thought they wanted to associated Republicans = QAnon? Why lay the ground work for the GOP to distance itself?

    • leon

      I hope GOP refuses to seat the entire california delegation when they come to power.

      • Urthona

        They should certain ban AOC. Didn’t she recently make up a bs story about the capitol attack and accuse Ted Cruz of attempted murder?

      • Gadfly

        If the standard for removal is “said racist things” and “promoted conspiracy theories”, they have a legitimate precedent to kick all the anti-Semites and all the Russia hoaxers off of committees. Which is a not insignificant number of Dems.

    • Urthona

      I actually don’t even know how they pick those committee members.

      • Gadfly

        As I understand it, each party is assigned a certain number of slots in each committee and then the party leadership doles those out as they see fit. This Marjorie Greene thing is unprecedented as never before has a majority party interfered with a minority party’s committee assignments.

      • Urthona

        Ah I see. So Republicans hold the same number of spots. Hmmm….

    • Not Adahn

      Since I DGAF about whatserface, but I’d love to see Schiff and Swallwell humiliated in 2023, I see this as a positive.

    • rhywun

      Amazon also discouraged customers from tipping in cash, with the app saying that “cash is not accepted upon delivery.”

      Gee, that’s not sketchy at all.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Now that’s sleazy.

    • kbolino

      male puberty

      Whatever happened to “there are no biological differences between the sexes”?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe they should just drop the man/woman/male/female terminology and just include or exclude based upon the presence of a Y chromosome. That’d get all of the doublespeak and definitional pliability out of it at least.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Something something arbitrary and bigoted discrimination based on superficial characteristics

    • Suthenboy

      In college once a female track runner (damned near made the olympic team) challenged me to a foot race.

      Me: “That’s not fair”

      Her: “Why not , because I am on the track team?”

      Me: “no, that’s not it at all.”

      Her: “Ok, asshole now you definitely have to let me take you to school”

      Race: I let her get about six strides ahead of me before I took off from the starting line. I blew past her like she was standing still. She was stunned. She greatly underestimated the difference in female/male muscle. I grew up running in the woods. She never had a chance.

      Not only should these assholes be banned from women’s sports, they should be banned from all sports. What a bunch of creeps.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I did the same thing, except with a high school track runner. I may have been chubby and not particularly good at sports, but I was in decent enough shape and had six inches on her. I let up near the end to let her catch up, but still won handily. Granted, she caught her breath before I did.

        I respect flat earthers more than the gender deniers. At least the flat earthers are painfully stupid about something that isn’t easily observed in daily life.

      • Tonio

        Phrasing?!?!?

      • The Last American Hero

        I say call their bluff and end separate sports programs for women. Call anybody with a problem with that a transphobe. Make everyone choke on their insane bs for a couple years with no women’s sports and then we can return to sanity.

    • rhywun

      Doublethink in action.

      (2) be newly obligated to provide ways to include trans girls/women in girls’/women’s sports that ensure competitive fairness and playing-safety without diminishing the protection of biological females.

      *taps out*

    • westernsloper

      I linked this yesterday.

    • creech

      Have things in high school changed so much? Back in the day, any boy who claimed he was really a girl just so he could join the field hockey team or girls basketball would have been teased so unmercifully he’d have to drop out of school.

  37. westernsloper

    I had to buy a new toothbrush today because I used my old one to clean the throttle body of my Nissan. Car accelerates much smoother but I have not tried the new toothbrush yet so I can’t comment on its performance. #sharestoomuch

    • Mojeaux

      Hard bristles or GTFO.

      • westernsloper

        I went to the dollar store and they had none. I have one soft and a medium. I opened the medium. I might test drive it now so I can give a review.

      • Tonio

        You better. Because even The Hyperbole has a treatment for an article.

      • Mojeaux

        Amazon. I buy in bulk.

      • westernsloper

        Do you get them for less than a buck? I got two toothbrushes and a box of valentines candy for $3.27.

      • Mojeaux

        Not quite.

        Valentine’s Day candy? You got a soon-to-be whats-her-face #3 in the wings?

      • westernsloper

        I brushed with the old one just prior to the car maintenance that would destroy it just in case I got too drunk to go to town doing said maintenance and couldn’t get a tooth brush. This new brush, which is a Colgate Medium seems way more stiff than my old one which makes sense since I buy a new toothbrush only on Presidential election years or when I need them to clean car parts. It wasn’t hurt your mouth stiff, but I could definitely tell a difference.

      • Tulip

        This does not get you off the hook for an article.

      • westernsloper

        About my toothbrush purchase?

      • pistoffnick

        “It wasn’t hurt your mouth stiff…”

        PHRASING!

    • Tonio

      “Nissan…”

      I think I see the real problem, here.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They just haven’t been the same since they got bought out by Renault.

      • Tonio

        Sick burn, yo.

      • westernsloper

        Whatever. It was almost cheap.

  38. commodious spittoon

    A leopard spent the better part of a day locked in a bathroom with a dog.

    The Life of Pi sequel sucks.

    • Tulip

      I laughed

    • SandMan

      Still better than the original.