Saturday Morning Flaccid Links

by | May 29, 2021 | Daily Links | 169 comments

Exhausted. Another week of pretending to care about my job. Massive family issues for SP. Much sleeplessness. I look at my penis and think, “Lami sabachthani???” Now I’ll pretend to be delivering first class links.

Birthdays today include a guy who had two wishes and got them both; a guy who was more Catholic than the Pope; a historian who didn’t like (((us))) very much; a guy who proved that comedians don’t have to actually be funny; the guy who beat Hillary; a president who showed us all how brainy he was; a guy who proved that being consistently wrong pays well; a guy whose fame and fortune came from driving around in circles; a guy who definitely needed more range time; and a woman whose Wikipedia photo looks disturbingly like Pocahontas.

Not feeling any wrinkles disappearing, I suppose I’ll move on to Linkage.

 

No way this could backfire.

 

Given that this was 100 years ago, I doubt there are survivors. Just grasping grifters.

 

Those genocidal Jews!

 

“It’s organic.”

 

They act as if dysfunction was a bad thing.

 

Hears the word “ammo,” perks up.

 

“We call them micro-roos.”

 

Old Guy Music today is not only a song I love, but a photo I love. I always had a soft spot for Dalmatians.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

169 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    a guy who was more Catholic than the Pope

    I trust that somewhere TGA is throwing a huge whoop-dee-doo.

  2. Sean

    Pfffft….that SF guy is a dilettante.

    • Sean

      “He also had 32 high-capacity magazines, some with 12 rounds,”

      High-capacity?

      12 rounds?

      What?

      • TARDis

        Mendacity. Jornolisming 101.

        I should get some high capacity magazines for my “assault” rifle. The best I have are only 25 rounders. At least the propagandist didn’t call them clips.

      • Not Adahn

        “Five rounds was enough for Wyatt Earp!”

      • TARDis

        I fully support replacing all local constabulary weapons with 5 round 38 Specials. And by all, i mean ALL. If you need a sniper, call the military.

      • Tejicano

        …and the ONE bullet you get to carry for that revolver stays in your shirt pocket until you really need it!

      • Tres Cool

        +1 Barney Fife

      • Tom Teriffic

        Yeah, what?? I have a couple of 10 rounders for my Modern Sporting Rifle for when I’m testing different ammo types but, heavens! 12??

      • zwak

        CA. You are limited to 10 rounds.

        Its what you can get down there in the shops and online.

    • Tejicano

      And you know what’s going through the minds of NPR listeners everywhere…

      “He had LOTS of GUNZ, and a bunch of HUGE capacity clips with THOUSANDS of bullets for them. So (anybody with lots of gunz & clips & bullets) = (crazed loner time bomb)”. It is known.

  3. Tres Cool

    My admittedly limited experience with Dalmatians are that they are dumb as a post. Then again, deafness is inherent in the breed. What do I know ?

    Whats the car? My 1st guess is an Avanti, but my gut tells me Im wrong.

    • Tom Teriffic

      Citroen. This looks like it could be an interesting record.

      • Gender Traitor

        I seem to recall you knew a dumb dalmation, did you not? 😉

      • Tom Teriffic

        I did. Wanted to fight anything on four legs and otherwise had a one word mind: FUD!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good thing you ditched the chick that owned him for me, huh? 😀

      • CPRM

        quit using the site to flirt! That’s what the forums are for!

      • Not Adahn

        There’s a “nudes” section on the forums now?

      • CPRM

        I hope so, otherwise I posted all those pics for not.

      • Tres Cool

        Get a room! Or go into one.

      • TARDis

        That Bond hottie could take the wrinkles out of your Shar Pei.

      • Tres Cool

        Or look @ the nudes of Annette Bening from “The Grifters”. That should iron-out your love-sausage.

        *highly underrated movie

      • TARDis

        I need to watch it again. I don’t remember much about it. My wife was such Cusack fan-girl. I think it was one the first movies we watched as newlyweds.

      • zwak

        I don’t think its a Citroen. Their badging looks different, stacked upsidedown Vs.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I had a Dalmatian. Freakishly smart. Crazy. They’re all crazy.

      • The Gunslinger

        I had a dalmatian. She could run and run and run. She had an iron stomach (once swallowed almost a pound of raw bacon in the blink of an eye). And she was very protective.

    • DrOtto

      It’s a Ferrari Daytona at the worst angle to look at one.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Trust us

    Economists supportive of the administration’s approach echoed Rouse’s argument that what on paper looks like small increases in growth would actually mean a lot on a 10-year time horizon.

    “Estimates of potential growth are generally around 1.7 percent or 1.8 percent for the entire decade,” Jason Furman, chair of the Council of Economic Advisers under Obama, said in an email. “If their plan added 0.1 or 0.2 percent per year to the growth rate that would actually be very large in macroeconomic terms.

    Furman added in a tweet that he was “glad to see what appears to be a return to responsible economic assumptions in budgeting.” And he said “a lot of the benefits of the President’s policies are improving inclusion, opportunity, climate, etc. So even if they didn’t add anything to growth they would still likely be an improvement.”

    We have an economic model. We put numbers in this end, and wealth and happiness (and JUSTICE!) flow out the other end. How could you not just take our word for it?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I remember just how well the multipliers worked during the Obama administration.

  5. CPRM

    I was hoping some PTB would have been on the zoomy last night, new article pending scheduling. Also, the zoomy convinced me to resurrect As Seen On TV with a bit of a different bent. Instead of focusing on forgotten stuff with technical relevance, just doing it on shows that have been forgotten that people should see. Like Day Break, Groundhog’s Day as a police procedural.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah, there’s a social service agency for “runaway, throwaway, and homeless youth” in downtown Dayton that goes by that name. Never fails to give me an earbug every time I drive past it, :-/

      • Gender Traitor

        Nice, but I’m Old School, so I’m partial to the classics.

      • Gender Traitor

        We used to throw a bit from that right into the middle of this, albeit at a much faster tempo.

      • TARDis

        That sounds interesting. I love that tune.

        I sometimes sing these lines when I occasionally regret reproducing….

        Their children woke up
        And they couldn’t find ’em
        They left before the sun came up that day
        They just drove off and left it all behind ’em
        But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

      • Gender Traitor

        We always dedicated it to a good friend who’d ended up having to raise most of her grandkids, including one with pretty severe “special needs.” 🙁

      • Tres Cool

        Embrace the Bon Jovi.

      • Pi Guy

        Damn. That came out 40 freaking years ago.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        37 years. /pedant

        I still kinda like that album, had it as a kid. In the lyrics they spelled want with an apostrophe, bless em.

      • TARDis

        ^This.

        Plus, not really a fan of Bon Jovi either.

      • Fourscore

        Good choice, GT, classes up the place

      • Ted S.

        I figured you would have picked this.

        (I have a feeling this might be new to you.)

  6. Ted S.

    a guy whose fame and fortune came from driving around in circles;

    Technically he drove around in stadiums.

    • Tom Teriffic

      Wonder if they’ll run it at full audience capacity because, you know, dozens of acres of open space. The one big-league sporting event I’m interested in watching any more.

      • Gender Traitor

        Huh. I thought IN had ditched statewide restrictions and everything was down to the county & municipal level. Maybe that was just the masks.

      • TARDis

        Someone should correct that sign. It should read “Corona Cowards”.

    • Agent Cooper

      Do you not even Tri-Oval bro?

  7. Tom Teriffic

    Let’s see, that works out to just over 2,000 rounds per firearm. Sounds about right.

    • Sean

      Why is there a label on the holster “buckle side”?

      • Tom Teriffic

        Evidence tag? Or evidence plant?

      • Tres Cool

        + Front Towards Enemy

  8. Tom Teriffic

    Dysfunction? Anything that paralyzes the legislature is alright by me.

    • Pi Guy

      A Do-Nothing Congress is like a Do-Nothing rapist.

      (I stole that from someone, I think from here years ago. Soooo H/T … Suthen, maybe)

      • hayeksplosives

        Ha! Nice.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As per usual, if the Democrats name a bill, it means the bill does something completely different than the title.

      If the Republicans name a bill, it means the bill does something completely different from what they promised on the campaign trail.

      Either way, if they pass a bill, we get fucked.

  9. Not Adahn

    NPR has upgraded the “Tulsa Race Riot” to the “Tulsa Race Massacre.” There are a surprising number of people claiming to be survivors, I’m sure the lure of cash has nothing to do with that.

    The diner has upgraded their “college breakfast sandwich” (bagel, egg, sausage, cheese cream cheese, Doritos) to ghost pepper Doritos. I approve. #notvegan #notketo

    • Not Adahn

      Missing from that article — the descendants of survivors were complaining that monies raised were being used to establish a museum instead of being paid to them as reparations.

      And because of course:

      Tulsa Mayor G.T. Bynum

      • Tres Cool

        Sounds too much like PT Barnum.
        Or is it just me ?

      • Not Adahn

        …nope.

    • CPRM

      Everything ‘Ghost Pepper’ branded I’ve been able to find in the midwest is milder than jalepeno.

      • CPRM

        I’d rather get my hands on an actual pepper. I tried growing the ‘Ghost Pepper’ in a can thing, but it only ever produced one small berry sized pepper and then died.

      • Ted S.

        Does that haunt you?

      • Sean

        Our local Lowes carry live pepper plants up to ghost peppers.

      • CPRM

        I don’t even have a local Lowes, I’m a simply country lawyer cartoonist.

      • Nephilium

        They need hot weather and lots of sun. I was able to keep a couple plants going indoors for a couple years, but exposing them to the milder outdoor climate of northeast Ohio killed them D-E-D.

      • Nephilium

        The ghosts that I grew would start dropping flowers if the temperature dropped below ~60 F. Given the possibility of late frosts, and early frosts, they would only thrive and get to fruiting here indoors.

  10. Sean

    “Micro roos”

    Haha, Australia. Sucks to be you.

    • Tonio

      Vast tracts of land in Australia’s New South Wales state are being threatened by a mouse plague…

      Cleavage mice?

      • Sean

        *begins singing*

      • leon

        stop! No singing!

      • Tres Cool

        Since you didnt link it, I’ll do it.

      • Tonio

        Thanks.

  11. Tom Teriffic

    I wonder why any ink or electrons are wasted on any White house budget. They never pass, it’s just so much grandstanding. Has Congress even passed a budget in the last glacial epoch or so?

    • TARDis

      Budgets are for chumps.

      /Mrs. TARDIS

  12. leon

    The Hill article reads like straight propoganda about why bipartisanship needs to be abandoned for one party rule.

    It’s a bunch of impotence signaling.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    The Hill article reads like straight propoganda about why bipartisanship needs to be abandoned for one party rule.

    DEMOCRACY! works best when everybody agrees with me.

    • CPRM

      Finally ,someone who gets it. -CNN

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Racism, straight up

    President Joe Biden and his officials believe China is hiding information regarding the origin of the COVID-19 pandemic, a contentious issue that the U.S. administration warns it will pursue in spite of protests from Beijing, which has accused Washington of politicizing the investigation.

    “This virus originated in China and China has information that it has not shared with the global community about its origins,” a senior administration official told Newsweek, “and that is information that we all need access to in order to prevent the next pandemic.”

    The remarks came two days after Biden issued a statement in which he offered an update on a U.S. Intelligence Community report he commissioned in March on the origins of COVID-19, “including whether it emerged from human contact with an infected animal or from a laboratory accident.”

    In a rare insight to the ongoing probe, the president said Wednesday that the U.S. Intelligence Community “has ‘coalesced around two likely scenarios’ but has not reached a definitive conclusion on this question.” Out of the possibilities of an animal-to-human transmission or a laboratory accident, he revealed the latest analysis as determining: “while two elements in the IC leans toward the former scenario and one leans more toward the latter – each with low or moderate confidence – the majority of elements do not believe there is sufficient information to assess one to be more likely than the other.”

    The comments marked the most dramatic shift yet in the administration’s narrative on the theory that the novel coronavirus escaped from a scientific institution, most usually cited as the Wuhan Institute of Virology, an esteemed facility that deals with coronavirus research and is located in the city where the disease was first detected late last year. Most experts had previously dismissed the scenario as far-fetched, and many still do.

    Trump must be using his supervillain mind control ray to make Biden blame China.

    I smell coverup.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As I’ve said before, the intel agencies have known this for quite a while. Why now?

      • leon

        all I can think is propoganda for increased belicosity

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        There’s a chuck Schumer anti-china bill currently pending in congress. They need to rally the anti-american caucus of democrats to be anti-china so that they’ll pass the bill without looking at it.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Whats the car? My 1st guess is an Avanti, but my gut tells me Im wrong.

    I’m going with Ferrari Daytona.

  16. trshmnstr the terrible

    Watched 48hrs last night. Eddie Murphy, Nick Nolte, a bunch of stilted dialogue and a whole bunch of racial epithets that wouldn’t possibly be put in a movie today.

    I’m surprised they made a sequel to that movie. The first wasn’t very good.

    • Gender Traitor

      I think right around then, they’d put Eddie Murphy in anything. (See The Golden Child, AKA “Eddie Murphy and the Temple of Doom”)

    • Sean

      Cocaine is a helluva drug.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “Since the outbreak of COVID-19 last year, some political forces have been fixated on political manipulation and blame game, while ignoring their people’s urgent need to fight the pandemic and the international demand for cooperation on this front, which has caused a tragic loss of many lives,” the spokesperson said.

    “Let’s not argue about ‘oo infected ‘oo.”

  18. The Late P Brooks

    In China, a number of officials have been fired, demoted or otherwise disciplined for negligence over the initial outbreak of COVID-19 in Wuhan and subsequent infections that have occasionally emerged elsewhere throughout the country over the past year.

    Bullet to the base of the skull?

    • creech

      “With deep regret, we announce that a number of officials have contracted severe lead poisoning. “

  19. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    It’s always interesting to note that Clapton was the third best musician in Cream.

    I always had a soft spot for Dalmatians.

    As I do for Citroens.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Politicization of the courts is only a problem when we disagree with the politics

    Trial-level federal Judge Amy Berman Jackson has handled some of the most politically significant court cases of the Trump era and its aftermath and become one of the most incisive voices on the corruption and political spin of the era.

    Known for her sharp criticism of the Trump administration’s moves in the criminal proceedings of former Trump advisers Paul Manafort and Roger Stone, Jackson this week cut through Washington’s noise again as she called former Attorney General William Barr’s considerations for rolling out the Mueller report “public relations” in a records access lawsuit opinion.
    Days later, in the criminal cases of two January 6 US Capitol riot defendants, she noted how former President Donald Trump was continuing to spread lies, potentially inspiring his supporters to strike again.

    Trump “continues to propagate the lie that inspired the attack on a near daily basis,” she wrote in an opinion Thursday keeping riot defendant Karl Dresch in jail. “And the anger surrounding the false accusation continues to be stoked by multiple media outlets as well as the state and federal party leaders who are intent on censuring those who dare to challenge the former President’s version of events.”

    Dresch, like other Trump followers, “stands ready to do it again,” because of a belief that a civil war may be necessary and his allegiance to Trump, who continues to challenge the election, Jackson noted.

    She’s a true American patriot, ready to defend the establishment to her last breath.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sounds an awful lot like she’s punishing him for what he might do instead of what he’s done.

      Normally, that should get you thrown off the bench.

    • Akira

      Trump “continues to propagate the lie that inspired the attack on a near daily basis,”

      I’m still waiting for actual proof that Trump’s statement alone is what caused the January 6th insurrection unauthorized walk-through tour. That entire narrative is a big post hoc fallacy.

      I know the Left doesn’t care about logical consistency, but they would be busted on so many things if we upheld that principle universally. For example, if a Democratic Socialist politician constantly railed against Republicans and said they were destroying the country, then a fervent supporter of that politician shot at Republican legislators – perhaps during a softball game – then that politician would be held to account for what happened, the same as if he did it with his own two hands.

      But this is just a hypothetical example… Democrats would never say anything that is remotely inflammatory.

    • Ozymandias

      Amy Berman Jax is their new RBG.
      ABJ for RBG – watch if the dems get a chance to nominate someone. You heard it here first.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Jackson has become well known in recent years for preparing long recitations for even procedural courtroom check-ins.
    In the Manafort, Gates and Stone cases, and now in Capitol riot cases, she sometimes has spent more than an hour speaking without interruption, outlining her legal considerations and facts of the case.
    At times, those speeches have given her room to comment on what may be the defining aspect of the Trump years: disinformation.

    Justice, streamlined.

    • rhywun

      what may be the defining aspect of the Trump years: disinformation

      LOL as one “conspiracy theory” after the next is quietly acknowledged by TMITE.

      Never change, CNN.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!

    A planned $11 billion rail tunnel seen as a key to train travel up and down the northeastern U.S. received a boost Friday with a crucial, and long sought, federal environmental approval.

    The record of decision announced by the Department of Transportation means the project to build a new Hudson River tunnel connecting New York and New Jersey can push ahead with engineering and design work. The DOT’s approval also is expected to smooth the way toward the awarding of federal grants the project needs to begin construction.

    Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said there’s money in President Biden’s $2.3 trillion infrastructure plan that could fund the project: it would direct $85 billion to update and replace subway cars and repair aging tracks and stations. Some $25 billion of those funds would also go to expanding bus routes and rail lines.

    “So we should have all the money we need,” Schumer said in an interview.

    ——-

    The tunnel, part of the broader Gateway project to expand rail capacity in the New York region, dates back roughly 10 years. It completed environmental studies three years ago. Stakeholders, including Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, have alleged the Trump administration delayed the approval for political reasons, a charge Trump’s administration denied.

    “For four years, Donald Trump in a petty, vindictive and nasty way to New York imposed lots of procedural barriers on Gateway even though we had allocated some money already,” Schumer said.

    Former President Cartoon Villain looms large.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Should be helpful with a declining population

    • Sensei

      NYC needs a new tunnel. That’s pretty unarguable. I’m just not sure why everyone outside NY and NJ needs to finance it.

      Oh, I forgot, we all own it thanks to our ownership of Amtrak. Thanks Jimmy!

      • creech

        “NYC needs a new tunnel. ”
        Facts not in evidence? Maybe the existing Hudson River tunnels just need better signaling and dispatching so trains can run on two minute headways like many transit systems have done (and still do) in the past.

      • Sensei

        If you really want to have this conversation I need not be on my iPad.

        I can make a cogent argument. The tunnel is only two lines and needs to be shut for long overdue maintenance for an extended period.

        When a train breaks in the tunnel it snarls traffic for hours.

      • rhywun

        My main complaint is that half the money they spend on it will be graft and it will take decades longer than they promise. And it will cost at least double what they promise. See: East-Side Access.

        This is an area where the US is literally more corrupt than Europe of all places.

      • Sensei

        100% agree. Doesn’t change the need, however.

        There was a great study looking at cost per mile of subway across all the developed nations and their major cities. I think NYC was more expensive by a factor of like 3x.

  23. Tulip

    Babs just isn’t getting better. This morning she won’t eat her food, keeps going outside to eat grass, and now has a gurgling tummy. The specialist appointment can’t come soon enough. I just want her to feel better and be her happy self

    • Mojeaux

      I’m sorry, Tulip. Since you mentioned specialist, I’ll assume that a regular vet won’t be adequate, much less an ER vet.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So sorry to hear. Good shes eating grass…hopefully just ate something she wasnt supposed to and its messing with the bowels until it comes out one way or the other.

  24. Tulip

    Ok, had to turn the heat on. 62 in the house

    • Gustave Lytton

      Same here. Supposed to get near 80 today but freezing inside this morning. Before Climate Change™️, never had to do that in nearly June. Or maybe I’m just getting old and can’t take the low temperature.

      Sorry about Babs. Pulling for a speedy recovery and return to old form.

  25. Sensei

    Good morning old man.

    I had an odd experience last night. Past six months or so when I get one of the usual evening unsolicited and illegal phone calls I ask the person on the other end how they feel about doing this. Do they enjoy stealing from old and confused people? How do they look at their face in the mirror? In something rare for me I’m polite.

    At best they repeat their pitch and after that hang up and move on to the next mark. First time I had a guy stay on the phone. Talked for 3 or 4 minutes. First tried to figure out why I didn’t trust him. Finally just told me it paid for his house, a car and he had lots of girls. I gave up.

    He was an Indian guy so I told him good luck in his next life as nirvana wasn’t in his future.

  26. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Went out to eat this morning. Was surprised at the number of people still wearing masks.

    It was a younger crowd than the hot rod and classic car drive-in Saturdays. The old guys don’t care anymore, but the younger ones appear to be paranoid or are signaling their political affiliation.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Went to a [redacted] store last night. They had a big sign out front in place of the state mask mandate one they’ve had, that per CDC and the governor, fully vaccinated people do not need to wear a mask inside. They conveniently left off the second half of the state mandate that all people wishing to ditch the mask must prove they are vaccinated and the business must check it. I wish them luck before they get curbstomped by the state. And I saw one other person without a mask.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’d have to be a total dipshit to start asking customers if they’ve been vaccinated.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I figure equally inappropriate questions will be returned: do you AIDS or HIV?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        How many abortions have you had?

      • Nephilium

        Just saw something come across my newfeed that the EEOC has provided guidance that employers can require vaccinations (with the exceptions of allergy or religious exemption).

      • Sean

        It’s an employee’s market out there. Good luck with that, businesses.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And that I beleive is why the CDC and WHO are playing fast and loose on prior infection and immunity.

        What if my illness in the beginning of 2020 was COVID but it ran through my family like a cold/flu.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s in conflict with long-standing OSHA regs which state that if an employer requires medical treatment to perform work, the employer is liable for anything that goes wrong as a result.

        This country is really trying to destroy small businesses.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And what the hell does the EEOC have to do with any of this?

      • Ownbestenemy

        EEOC is involved to prep the battle space for the mountain of lawsuits when people refuse. They come out and head off the pass, signalling thay those will be futile

      • Nephilium

        Scruffy:

        Just for you, I sullied up my search history to see if I could find the story behind the headline:

        Companies can make employees take COVID-19 vaccine, EEOC says

        From the article:

        Companies must still provide reasonable accommodation for employees who are exempt from mandatory immunization under the Americans with Disabilities Act and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act.

        The commission also stated that employer incentives must not be “coercive,” but stopped short of providing examples of illegal offers.

      • Ozymandias

        Ahem. Let me just step in here to point out that someone wrote an entire book about this…
        Yet they all point at those “other” people as the LITERAL NAZIS!1!1!
        No on ever sees it’s them; there they are telling other people they HAVE to inject something into their bodies to participate in society, but 1930s Germany could never happen again.
        What a fucking joke.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Well then, you can continue to require everyone wear a mask on your premise. Oh by the way, we’re still not or ever going to waive the fines.”

        /state

        Which I think is the real desired outcome. They got blindsided by their pals in the Biden admin and tried to figure out how to comply with the letter of the recommendation but at the same time make it as onerous as possible to defacto keep the mask mandate.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’ll see. They’re inching ever closer to a revolt by continuing to lean on already strained people.

    • Pi Guy

      but the younger ones appear to be paranoid or are signaling their political affiliation.

      Embrace the power of and.

  27. hayeksplosives

    I’ve created a monster.

    NuCat (name debate is ongoing; I’m calling him Bogey, and the mister is calling him Fredo) is meowing loudly in hopes that I will give him another serving of canned food.

    I gave him canned food on adoption day (Thurs) in hopes that he’d come out and bond. It worked but now he’s yowling for me to get up and serve him more.

    He’s cute, but one of the advantages of cats over dogs is that a cat doesn’t wake you up in the morning needing to go out for a walk. But NuCat now thinks that if the sun is out, we humans should be up playing with him or feelding him.

    So stinking cute though…

    • Mojeaux

      We don’t feed them wet food, although every once in a while they might get some tuna. We fill their bowls full of dry food and they eat whenever they want. Never had a fat cat.

    • rhywun

      But NuCat now thinks that if the sun is out, we humans should be up playing with him or feelding him.

      LOL you’re not denying this, are you?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Love his markings.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yep…sun is up why are you still sleeping? Oh you’re up, it’s my nap time anyway thanks for the food!

    • Agent Cooper

      “wake you up in the morning needing to go out for a walk.”

      None of my dogs do this.

      We have a fenced backyard so I can let them out whenever I get up.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    NuCat (name debate is ongoing; I’m calling him Bogey, and the mister is calling him Fredo) is meowing loudly in hopes that I will give him another serving of canned food.

    You could call him Wimpy.

    “I will gladly pay you, Tuesday, et c.”

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of…

    A few places have replaced their “Masks required” signs with “Don’t come in here if you’re sick”, which is what should have been happening all long.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yep that is probably the most effective mitigation that we as a country buried as a side effect and not the primary

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      But: ¡asymptomatic!! ¡Fomites!!1!

  30. Ownbestenemy

    Car show down in Boulder today. It will be nice to be out but we will see if Nevadians are maskholes. Wife and I have, like pretty much all of you, respect a business owner choice that demands it and we kindly let them know we will shop elsewhere.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Today, in quackery

    In updated face mask guidance, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends the continued use of a well-fitting face mask for children and teens who are age 2 years and older and not yet fully vaccinated…

    “The COVID-19 vaccines are remarkably effective, but we must stay vigilant,” said AAP President Lee Savio Beers, MD, FAAP. “Children under age 12 are not yet eligible for the vaccine, so it’s smart to be cautious and careful, especially when they are playing with friends, accompanying their parents to the grocery store, attending school or camp, and in any other situation in which they are around groups of people, some of whom may not be fully vaccinated.”

    What do the masks do, again?

    Do they protect the wearer from infection? I thought that nonsense had been discredited. If that’s not it, then what useful purpose do they serve?

    Public health experts, my ass. Round them up and put them to work picking up litter along the roadside. In dunce caps.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We’re a year into societal panic territory. The question is how long it will be before the paranoids calm down.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Given their lockstep to ‘experts’, never. Both the medical industry and government has enough resources to continue trotting out people to spin the narrative in their direction.

        Couple that with a very willing media to remain incurious, kids today will grow up with a wonderful distrust of the human standing next to them.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The Marxists couldn’t possibly have designed a better course of action to erode community and family.

      • Ozymandias

        They did.
        Let’s be honest about this: look at the Dems reaction when Trump first announced he was limiting travel from China. Then check the dates when they “pivoted.” Almost overnight it went from being racist to suggest we should limit travel from countries where an infectious disease was spreading (anyone remember “go out in Chinatown”) to OMMGGG!!! HE’S NOT DOING ENOUGH TO FGHT THE DISEASE!1!1!!”
        And then it turned into, “We have to completely change our elections to mail-in balloting!!!!”
        It may not have been originally planned, but boy, they sure “pivoted” quickly and it worked wonderfully.
        Also see how close it followed Biden stepping on his dick about “you ain’t black!”
        Not a co-inky-dink.

  32. Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

    ” . . . a rare Friday session failed to get any legislation passed.”

    My GOD. Is there no end to their Sisyphean labour? How much more of a normal work week should you expect your valiant, loyal servants in the United States Senate to suffer through?

    You need a commission to look into these brutal working conditions.

  33. Ozymandias

    OMWC – Great job on the b-days. Every one of those is clever as hell. I don’t know how you do it, but I equally laughed and groaned as I clicked on each one. I think I need to read more GKC.
    Festus – Sorry for your loss, buddy, but don’t let your grief become wallowing. You gave that cat your love and what could be better!? Celebrate and find gratitude for the love your friend gave you. I wound up with an ex’s cat after she – not the cat – started sleeping w/ someone else and moved out. That cat made two moves across the country with me and I almost lost her once when she got out of the car in the middle of Missouri. Somehow I found her. I cried more when that cat died than at some memorial services for guys I served with. Inexplicable, but I still think about that cat. Pets teach us what (mostly) unconditional love is; try to let that come through, Fes. And get another one when the wound starts to heal – you’ll never regret it. We have two dogs buried in the backyard now and two cats and a dog driving us crazy. It will end with my wife, kids, and I all in a blubbering mess eventually, but oh! the joys along the way will be soooo worth it!
    GT and TT’s canoodling – Whenever my wife starts a conversation that has something to do with some other woman that preceded her, I have three surefire techniques for derailing that (because it’s not going anywhere good, even if it starts out casually enough.)
    1 – Feign you didn’t hear by moving quickly out of range, or introducing a loud noise. Playing piano helps, but starting a powertool is also acceptable. Sticking a head in the fridge is also fine, but temporary. Should/can be accompanied by…
    2 – Leave the room. Run. Go to the bathroom. Develop the urge to start a DIY project around the house (preferably one that requires the aforementioned power tool).
    3 – In extremis with nowhere to go… self harm. Smash a finger with a hammer. A slight cut with a knife while doing dishes is also acceptable. Anything that will distract the wife from discussing your prior relationships. Trust me on this.
    Have a great day, Glibs! Hockey playoffs are here and my B’s are in round 2.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Morning Oz. Hey what’s the name of the book about Anthrax? And hockey is great.

      • Ozymandias

        Morning, OBE!
        “United States v. Members of the Armed Forces”
        Hockey is one of the last great sports left simply because you are allowed to punch the other guy in the face if he goes too far.
        Here goes another one of my “speak by SAT analogy” attempts.
        Fighting:Hockey::2nd Amend:America

        Hmmm…I’m not sure if the second half of that should be “Self-defense” instead of “America.” I think it works either way.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I’m a sick fucker and particularly enjoyed the Kennedy one.

      SP has never, ever started any conversation about predecessors. God, I love that woman.

      • Ozymandias

        Def a keeper, my friend! Lucky man – but aren’t we both?

      • Fourscore

        Make that a trio. Even raising 2 of the #1’s kids and still not a peep of regret

      • Ozymandias

        Amen, Mr. 4×20!
        Hope you’re recovering more and more each day.
        Naps are good, but movement is life and life is movement.
        Looking forward to this September!
        Get out there and give those bees some hell and tell them to kick it into overdrive!
        My wife’s dad kept bees for a few years and the honey is something my youngest daughter still talks about. It was absolutely sublime.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was said the LBJ wanted to change JFK’s mind about a few things.

      • Ozymandias

        You guys are killing me.
        I stayed at the same hotel that the whole entourage was at the night before the assassination.
        On the whoop-dee-whoop floor, the rooms have pictures of the whole procession coming out of the hotel the morning he got shot. In the picture in my room, LBJ is coming out behind Kennedy and they’re all getting in the motorcade.
        I swear, I looked at that picture and from the look on LBJ’s face, he’s looking at Kennedy, and I was like, “Holy shit. LBJ was in on it.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LBJ’s biographer, Robert Caro, is pretty adamant that he orchestrated it and had several other people killed over the years.

      • Ozymandias

        I had always dismissed that as horseshit “conspiracy theory” junk, but now I absolutely, 100% believe it. In fact, I was just thinking that LBJ might very well be the Father of the Modern Dem Party.
        The more I think about it, he’s like the male version of Hill-dawg.

      • Urthona

        I encountered some schmuck from San Francisco recently who was telling me Texas hates Democrats and “even killed Kennedy”.

        I had to explain to him that Kennedy won Texas in a landslide and his running made was a Texas redneck.

      • Urthona

        You can tell from the picture?

  34. Urthona

    I’m in LA for the week and I feel like I stepped back in time 5 months on this covid thing.

    • Sensei

      Come to NJ/NYC…

  35. commodious spittoon

    That dog looks sharp, eh

    • Scruffy Nerfherder