A Glibertarians Exclusive – Listening Post, Part 5

by | Nov 15, 2021 | Fiction | 172 comments

A Glibertarians Exclusive:  Listening Post, Part 5

Personal log entry:  26 May 2234, Mimas Listening Post

I’m alone.

I woke up this morning, dressed and went out into the corridor, but it was quiet.  Really, really quiet.  I went looking around.  In the infirmary, I found Chief Pharmacist’s Mate Qul Abend along with Rober Vorta and Mord Delfino.  There were a few empty med-jectors laying around.  Looks to me like the three of them went in there, Chief Abend gave the others something to OD on, then followed them.  They looked… Well, I guess they looked peaceful.  I hope it was quick.

After that I went looking for the Commander.  I found him in the airlock.  He was just sealing the inner door.  I ran to the inner door, banged on it, yelled for him to open up.  He looked back at me once, sadly, as though he’d failed us all.  He hadn’t.  Nobody could have held us all together, not after the T’Cha, not with us being the last humans alive anywhere in the universe.

Commander Venko smiled sadly at me and hit the PURGE button.  The outer hatch snapped open, and the Commander was blown out onto the gray, dusty plains of Mimas.  From the airlock Saturn dominates the sky – at least he had a hell of a last view.

I’m alone now.  Not sure what I’m going to do next.  I’ve got a pretty good idea, but I need to see Sara once more.

Recorded 0718 hours station time, 26 May 2234, Chief Electronics Mate Bel Deveran, Coalition Navy

***

Alone now.  The last human alive, anywhere.

“Well, shit,” Bel Deveran said to no one in particular.  He chuckled.  There was no one else to say anything to.  Not on the Mimas Listening Post; not on Ganymede or Titan, not on Europa, the mining stations in the asteroid belt, or on Mars, or the cloud city on Venus, on Luna, not even on Earth.

Billions silenced at a stroke, because, presumably, the T’Cha wanted them for raw materials.

For lack of any better ideas, Deveran first went by his cabin and picked up his VR headset.  Then, for reasons unknown even to him, he headed for the command suite.

Guess I’m the commander now, he mused.  Commander of the Mimas Listening Post, Commander of the entire damn Coalition Navy, and King of All Mankind. 

He chuckled again, feeling it to be the only way to hang on to his sanity – which he knew was slowly slipping away.

Sure would like to have seen Sara one last time, he thought as he went into the command suite and sat down.  Not in VR.  For real.  Like the first time I saw her.

The memory, again, was very clear.  It was twelve years earlier, in Carolina, the aftermath of a tropical storm, where the Navy personnel stationed in the ancient seaport of Norfolk had been sent to help with search and rescue.

She walked towards the Navy crews as they were clambering down off of a row of hoverbuses.  The rain was still falling, the wind still blowing in from the sea, but the young woman with the long black hair looked somehow composed.  Her hair was all askew, her calico dress soiled and torn, but she was calm.  “I just came from the apartment building up the street,” she said, turning to point.  “Part of it collapsed.  I think there are still people in there.”

The commander of the relief crew barked an order.  “Chief Severs, take a detail down there and take a look.  ‘Com me if you need more help.  Heavy equipment is one the way but for now it’s manual labor only.”

“Yes sir,” a grizzled old Chief’s Bosun’s Mate agreed.  He pointed out several Navy crew members, Deveran among them: “You, you, you, you and you.  Come on.  Miss, lead the way, please.”

By the end of the first week of disaster duty, Deveran had the young woman’s name and contact.  “Sara,” he repeated, tapping her information into his personal ‘com – not the Navy’s issue device, but his personal one.

That winter Deveran wangled five days’ leave.  He took Sara to the low mountains of the old North American province – no, they had called them states – of New York, where they spent the days walking through the snowy woods, the nights before a fire in a small hostel among the trees. 

The next spring, on a warm, sunny day, Deveran went from Norfolk to where Sara lived in the hills of Carolina, and here, on an old bench by a pond, he had asked her to marry him.

Deveran was shaken out of his reverie by a beeping alarm on the console.  He looked to see if it was the magnetic anomaly again, but it wasn’t.

“A ship,” he breathed.  “Asking for landing clearance.”  He flipped on the radar, stared at the screen, not quite believing his eyes.  “A ship.  An actual for-real ship.”

He tapped the landing approval code into the console and ran for the dock.  He seemed to fly the kilometer down the corridor to the dock.  When he arrived, the boxy, dull-gray form of a supply shuttle was just setting to ground, its landing thrusters kicking up clouds of Mimasian dust, but Deveran could still make out the ship’s registration code and the name stenciled on its hull:  The Bounder.

The moment the docking umbilical connected, and the indicators flashed all green, Deveran threw open the hatch, ran across the umbilical, and hammered with both fists on the ship’s hatch.  Slowly, as if in reply, the hatch opened.

Deveran didn’t see anyone.  Minimal crew, he told himself.  Probably in the cockpit.  He ran onto the ship, to the front, but the cockpit was empty.  So was the ship’s tiny Necessary.  So were the crew quarters.  Then, the realization hit.

“Damn it,” he growled.  He collapsed to sit on the deck, his strength suddenly gone.  He remembered a bulletin from a month earlier, before the T’Cha wiped out humanity, a notice that the Navy was automating a bunch of the supply ships on routine runs.

“It’s a fucking robot,” he groused.

Fighting back his frustration (as well as the mental image of the post airlock) he pushed himself back on his feet and went through the ship.  A month’s worth of foodstuffs, repair parts, some updated manuals on the station’s reactor, and assorted other supplies.

Great.  So, I can live a little longer.  Alone.  On this goddamn rock.

Then a sudden thought drove him into the crew section, where he found what he was looking for – four deep-sleep pods.  He went to the cockpit, examined the controls and the ship’s navigation computer.  Not that different from the old training hulks they had us horsing around in the ship recovery course I took a few years ago.

A plan began to blossom.  Not a hope, not even a glimmer of hope, but a plan.  He went back to the listening post, to begin shutting the post down; futile, perhaps, but the Navy’s training ran deep, and he found he could not leave the facility unsecured.

It was in the command suite that he found it.

When he stepped into the suite, there was already… something else there.  It was a tall, crackling spire of white light, about two meters tall, probably only ten centimeters across.  Tendrils of light popped and crackled as they probed the control board, the sensor displays, the deck, bulkheads, even the three chairs.  “What the hell,” he breathed.

The spire of light turned, somehow, in some indescribable sense, to face him.  It spoke – not in the human sense, but somehow Deveran heard it in his head.

“You are Bel Deveran,” it said.

“Yeah,” Deveran managed to gasp.

“You are the last of your kind.  This is regrettable.”

“No shit,” Deveran said.  “You should see it from my side.  Who – what are you?”

“What we are, we can not explain to you.  What we are called, you would not understand.  You may call us the Aa.  That will suffice for our current purposes.”

“The, uh, Ah-ah,” Deveran approximated.  “Why are you here?”

“We stand against the ones you call the T’Cha, the ones who destroyed your race.”

“Really?  Well, your timing sucks,” Deveran said.

***
How did I meet you? I don’t know
A messenger sent me in a tropical storm
You were there in the winter, moonlight on the snow
And on Lily Pond Lane when the weather was warm

Sara, Sara
Scorpio Sphinx in a calico dress
Sara, Sara
You must forgive me my unworthiness

 

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

172 Comments

  1. DEG

    “Really? Well, your timing sucks,” Deveran said.

    Quite the understatement.

    Good story.

    • EvilSheldon

      I don’t know if mouthing off to the alien lifeform of incalculable power is really the smartest move.

      But sometimes I guess you just have to snark or go nuts…

      • Sean

        I’m now picturing Deveran as Bruce Campbell.

      • Animal

        I had not pictured him like that when writing this, but now I find I can’t picture him any other way.

      • Sean

        🙂

      • DEG

        🙂

      • juris imprudent

        That’s perfect!

    • kinnath

      Great story. As usual.

  2. Tundra

    I didn’t see that coming.

    Nice work, Animal!

  3. juris imprudent

    Goddamn good! Perhaps the last human will have vengeance for all of humanity?

  4. Ghostpatzer

    Ah, this just keeps getting better!

  5. Ozymandias

    Definitely not what I expected. Whoo!
    Saved…?
    And now that we have confirmation from that 80s Boy Band that Deveran is really The Last Man – unless he manages to “identify himself” a uterus, he’s just running out the clock.

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    An interesting twist, good work Animal.

  7. juris imprudent

    The Bee reports on last minute, very important jury instruction.

      • cyto

        That is A-level satire.

    • kinnath

      No longer satire.

    • Tundra

      They have also asked for 24/7 armed security provided by Kyle Rittenhouse.

      Lol.

    • waffles

      this trial has me all knotted up, it’s scary.

      The Binger is arguing that having a gun means you have no right to self defense, it’s demonic. The state is making self-defense from the mob illegal.

      ugh.

      • The Other Kevin

        That guy rubs me the wrong way. He reminds me of a bad actor hired to play a sleazy defense attorney.

      • The Other Kevin

        uh, prosecutor

      • juris imprudent

        He’s the love child of Mike Nifong and Preet Bharara.

      • kinnath

        If you carry a gun openly in public, then people that don’t have guns have the right to murder you.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cause no one has ever killed anyone with a punch.

      • ignoreLander

        If you carry a gun openly in public, then people that don’t have guns have the right to murder you.

        And also, the people who are convicted felons and carrying guns illegally have a right to murder you.

      • DEG

        And also, the people who are convicted felons and carrying guns illegally have a right to murder you.

        Grosskreutz? He was carrying illegally. He admitted to having his pistol concealed and an expired permit.

        I did a little digging on his criminal record. I found this article which includes a link to Grosskreutz’s criminal record. He has an expunged felony conviction (so, doesn’t count towards him being a prohibited person for owning a firearm) and dismissed felony charges.

      • DEG

        Those charges were after the incident in Kenosha. They might have been shady, but based on the dates, there’s no way they can have a bearing on Grosskreutz being a felon in possession of a gun on the date of the incidents in Kenosha.

        The expunged felony conviction has a date of 2013 in Grosskreutz’s criminal records. It’s not clear if that’s the date of the original conviction or the date when expunged.

        On Grosskreutz’s record, there is a prohibited person in possession of a firearm charge in 2016. It was dismissed.

      • R C Dean

        The Binger is arguing that having a gun means you have no right to self defense

        While there may be some on the jury who would buy that, I would be surprised if there aren’t at least some who will reject it out of hand. Kenosha isn’t the Upper East Side.

  8. Not Adahn

    One little Indian left all alone
    An alien cam by and fried his brain, and then there were none.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Maybe we could send our space plane…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      what’s a few thousand bits of extra crap up there anyway?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

      • cyto

        I don’t get this stuff…. The Chinese test was particularly terrible because of how high it was, iir.

        I would think you would at least have your target have a perigee at the lowest possible height… Around a hundred miles up. That way any debris should de-orbit quickly.

    • Gustave Lytton

      They got tired of only shooting down civilian airliners.

    • WTF

      But America’s military is way ahead of the Russians on diversity and inclusion and CRT training, so nothing to worry about.

    • cyto

      What in the world is he talking about? Did this actually happen?

      I haz confuse.

      • wdalasio

        Sure. The Russians demonstrate the ability to destroy satellites at will and our biggest concern is littering (No, I’m not discounting space debris as a problem, but it’s a little less urgent). Knowing the current gang in charge, that wouldn’t surprise me.

      • Tundra

        The propaganda machine is spewing nicely. Looks like a Q1, possibly Q2 war to me.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Didn’t we down our own satellite in 2008 and China did theirs in 2007?

      • wdalasio

        Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think you have to want war with Russia to think them demonstrating access to anti-satellite technology is sort of a big deal. Yes, we have anti-satellite technology as well. But, my sense is we’re more reliant on satellite technology than the Russians or Chinese. Maybe someone with more knowledge on the topic than me can speak to the matter, but does our military have a plan on how to fight a war if our satellites are rendered inoperable?

      • Tundra

        The same military that just used a tranny to christen a ship named for a pedo? That military?

      • UnCivilServant

        Saturate the enemy’s region with nuclear hellfire is the only card left in their hand at that point.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Milk wasn’t a pedophile.

    • The Other Kevin

      Still not as severe a threat to our military as climate change.

  9. wdalasio

    Great story, Animal! Keep up the good work.

  10. trshmnstr the terrible

    Quick reminder to unvaxxed folks facing down a deadline: Document everything. Retain records of everything. Check back on any employer resources/documents on a regular basis.

    I was wary this was going to happen, but my employer’s FAQ document for the Covid-19 mandate originally laid out a November 30th deadline for exemption requests and a January 4th deadline for everything to be in order, else you go on unpaid leave.

    As of this morning, with no announcement or other warning, the document was updated to reflect no particular deadline for submitting the exemption request, a December 8th deadline for having an approved exemption or you go on unpaid leave, and a January 18th requirement for compliance from FedGov.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yes I have been using the forum to update what my agency is doing

    • SDF-7

      Hmmm… that prompted me to check HR’s FAQ page… and yeah, it does now talk about January 18th. But also talks about testing options two paragraphs down from saying there’s no testing option. So I’m not convinced they’re really keeping track of things well.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yeah, I got the same feeling. Not sure why December 8th came back when the official deadline got pushed to January 18th. Doesn’t make sense.

  11. db

    OT, haven’t read the story yet, but looking forward to it later.

    Sitting on the beach, listening to the GF’s pandora, Paul McCartney’s “Junior’s Farm” come on. I’ve never heard the song before.

    It has some anti-Nixon lyrics and a chorus of “Let’s go, Let’s go, let’s go…”

    All of which seems to make it an interesting song for our time. Wondering if this song is seeing some increased popularity….

    I don’t really know the other lyrics so maybe it’s not, but…

    • kinnath

      I took my bag into a grocer’s store
      The price is higher than the time before
      Old man asked me why is it more

      This has been on my mind many times in the last few weeks.

      • db

        I heard that too! Might be a great unintentional anti Biden song. Might be cool if it got wings and went viral.

      • kinnath

        Paul already has Wings.

      • Tundra

        So does Linda.

      • Swiss Servator

        I know not whether to praise, or to damn both of you…

      • SDF-7

        Damn them with faint praise as a compromise? 😉

      • kinnath

        I want my gif 😉

      • db

        Glad someone caught that

    • Sean

      *Kyle’s

      /This is a tough crowd.

    • DEG

      And Binger’s finger is on the trigger.

      • The Other Kevin

        I noticed that too. That asshole’s going to Baldwin a juror.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Oh god that bicep….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        What, you don’t like the flying elbow?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I also like the front grip. Looks like he’s getting ready to sip his Chardonnay with that. Just needs a raised pinky.

      • R C Dean

        Speaking of bad form, I had Mrs. Dean tune up my shotgun stance yesterday. She is a master of body mechanics and kinesiology, and my form fell apart when I was tired and shooting multiple heavy rounds rapidly.

        She had me change my foot position (pointed more toward the target), told me to stop leaning into the gun and ground myself/lower my center, and probably most importantly, stop rotating my right hip back to keep it in line so the recoil transfers down my body to my feet better. I had her do the “push on the shotgun” thing, and damn if it didn’t make a big difference. The kind of thing you can only get in person, and only from somebody who really knows the nuances of what to look for.

      • Not Adahn

        I did the steel shoot yesterday with my Stoeger. Putting a half pound of lead on target in under 3 seconds is pretty fun.

        I know that #4 buck or larger is what you’re “supposed” to use for self defense, but I’m pretty sure that at inside-my-house-ranges, the birdshot will stop a bad guy toot sweet.

      • R C Dean

        Check some penetration tests. Especially through clothing, light shot doesn’t penetrate much. #4 is probably ideal for indoor shooting.

      • EvilSheldon

        If you want to see good shooting form, watch high-level women shooters. They typically don’t have the grip and upper-body strength that the dudes do, so their fundamentals have to be excellent.

      • The Other Kevin

        …and in a delicious bit of irony, Rittenhouse displayed better trigger discipline than the prosecutor.

      • ignoreLander

        ^^Probably should have put a NSFW language warning on that.

    • R C Dean

      And the dumb fuck has his finger on the trigger.

    • Grummun

      Hey dillweed get your booger hook off the trigger

    • The Other Kevin

      Mark my words, that’s going to be a meme by the end of the day.

      • Tundra
      • kinnath

        Awesome

      • R C Dean

        I’d be interested to hear why altering a key piece of evidence isn’t illegal, myself.

      • DEG

        BFYTW

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, you mean taking off the rifle sight. My first thought was “enhancing” the photographs.

      • db

        If Rittenhouse is acquitted he should sue the fuck out of them when they return the gun missing parts.

      • EvilSheldon

        The red dot was probably stolen off his rifle while it was in custody.

      • db

        That was my thought. From what I can tell it is extremely common for evidence locker firearms and accessories to make it into cops’ personal collections or show up back on the streetn but usually they’re not so blatant as to rip off stuff from current cases.

      • Not Adahn

        The best thing about drugs from the evidence locker is that it’s tested so you know which batches are pure.

      • Grummun

        Maybe it was a really nice reflex sight, and it inexplicably disappeared from the evidence room?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I wonder where it’s pointed…

      Because if I were on the jury I might be a tad pissed off if it were pointed at me.

      • R C Dean

        Having been in a few courtrooms, there are very few directions you can point a weapon that you aren’t muzzling somebody.

      • Ted S.

        Better to muzzle the lawyers than the normies.

      • R C Dean

        The lawyers sit in the middle. Usually, the defense sits between the prosecution and the jury, if memory serves (this may vary by state or even judge). If he’s muzzling the defense lawyers, he’s probably also muzzling either the jury or the spectators.

        Standing in the “well” of the courtroom (where the Binger presumably is), you’re pretty much surrounded by people – the spectators, the jury, other counsel, the judge’s crew, etc.

  12. Grummun

    The last human alive, anywhere.

    Finally, enough time to finish up everything in your Steam library. Uh, the single-player games, at least.

    • UnCivilServant

      Those co-op and multiplay achievements will be a bitch to complete though.

      • UnCivilServant

        And I’ve seen plenty of single player games that gates achievements behind their half-assed coop/multiplayer components.

    • SDF-7

      Time enough at last?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Might have time for a novella before the radiation sickness kicks in.

    • Mustang

      I had a dream once where I was the only person on earth and everything still worked. It was glorious.

      • Ownbestenemy

        You are saying you still knew the score of the Cal game?

    • Ownbestenemy

      What if your name is Brandon? Well now I have no motivation and got fat and died….sue Peloton

    • db

      Wonder how many anti Trump tags they banned.

      • Not Adahn

        Lol, the biggest knitting website banned pro-Trump patterns years ago.

  13. PutridMeat

    OT – Pulling in from Glib-Fit re: MikeS and the pre-diabetes. Another data point. maybe 5+ years ago, I was in the same sort of boat, though, since I don’t go to doctors, it was pretty much self diagnosed. All signs of pre-diabetic . Overweight (I didn’t actually weigh myself at the very beginning, but extrapolating from when I first did on the journey down at 275, I would estimate some where in the 280-300 range. Skin tags (almost proof positive of insulin resistance). Just generally very metabolically unhealthy, even though I was hiking and working outside, generally keeping fairly physically active. I’m 6-1 and big boned – not in the Cartman sense, but legitimately have a frame that can carry a bit of extra weight. But the fat-face staring back at you don’t lie!

    I really had less insight into metabolic health at the time – my main motivation was getting rid of the weight and along the way, I’ve learned a lot about human diet, physiology, and bio-chem. The following worked for me, but I’ll echo someone who said that this is a very individual process and what works for one might not for the other. My approach was essentially Adkins. I started with induction – less than 20 grams of carb per day for 2 weeks followed by slowly bringing it up. Throughout I monitored ketone levels and glucose levels daily – if you have high ketone levels, your insulin is low and you are not in that low glucose but high insulin pre-diabetic phase.

    I went into ketosis pretty quickly, and my fasting glucose was rarely over 100. I even measured the decay postprandial and found very small spike that rapidly went down – of course my meals were all high protein and high fat. But my whole purpose was weight lose (my understanding of my overall health came along as worked on this and thought about it). But my weight dropped very quickly. Within a few months down to 245-250. Much much slower after that and lots of plateaus. With a plateau, I’d try to kick start with induction without a lot of success; I was so low in carbs anyway, there wasn’t much of a change. I did a month of carnivore a couple of times and that pushed me down 7+ lbs over a month and I’d stay there and maintain until I pushed again. Reduced my feeding windows, integrated some fasting.

    Right now, I’m stable at 205-210 lbs. I need to drop another 10+ maybe up to 20lbs, but at least I have no signs of metabolic disregulation anymore and all that extra weight is sub-cutaneous – ugly, but not health threatening. But it is stubborn. I haven’t had any success over the last year trying to push through this last plateau to get down to 200lbs, none of the old tricks seem to work.

    So right now, I’m in a stable pattern. I’ve very low carb, essentially continuous ketosis (unless I break down and have a couple of beers instead of whiskey or no-sugar margarita), I’m at one meal a day – I’ll eat between 4PM and 8-9PM daily. Every Monday is a 48 hour fast; stop eating at 9PM on Sunday night, next meal is ~5PM on Tuesday. Most meals are meat only, maybe some sliced onions grilled along with it. Occasional salads (apple cider vinnegar+olive oil only), from time to time pickles, occasional sweet potato or squash. If I make a soup or stir fry, there will be some baby carrots or celery thrown in, but that’s relatively rare. Very few fruits except berries in season, or pomegranate seeds thrown over the grilled tri-tip. No sugar, ever. No pasta ever. No bread, ever (man, I like bread – I do occasionally break down and have some liquid bread, but maybe only once a month or so). Definitely no fruit juice.

    I did go to a Dr. about 2+ years ago because I needed a referral for a Chimney Sweep. Everything was good (though there was a warning about high ketones in the urine….) and my LDL was elevate mildly beyond their ranges. Given my HDL and triglyceride levels, I’m not worried.

    So it’s all very individual, and I think I’m extremely carb sensitive. I’ll put on 10 lbs just smelling fresh bread. Well maybe that’s because without the discipline of keeping to a pattern, I’d eat 10 lbs of bread. But I find my overall health and well being is well served by keeping cards to a minimum – they don’t agree with me at all and when I do go for some carbs, it’s whole (cue hippy moment) foods. Stay away as much as possible from packaged stuff.

    If it’s something you can tolerate for a month or so (I started thinking lets see what happens in a month – now it’s just the way I live), give it a shot. It might work for you, it might not, but there’s no harm in trying.

    • Tundra

      All good stuff, PM, and I agree wholeheartedly about the need to experiment. Regarding your plateau, how much protein are you getting per day? It may behoove you to increase that first.

      • Sean

        I though too much protein was the cause of many weight stalls.

      • Tundra

        Yeah, that’s true but most people are well below “too much.”

      • PutridMeat

        I don’t really calculate things any more – haven’t personally tested ketones or glucose in years (though if one could get a CGM without a prescription I’d probably to that!). I don’t eat fat for fats sake, I just eat normally. Lots of steaks, lots of burgers (home made!), pork chops, pulled pork, occasional chicken and fish. So I’m guessing I’m pretty high in protein. Maybe I should try counting carefully for a week to see what’s up.

        Re: fat for fats sake – I will occasionally grab a teaspoon of coconut oil on the off chance that MCTs are effective at mitigating Alzheimer’s; watching my dad go through that is highly motivating to try to avoid it if I can.

      • Tundra

        It might be worth tracking. I’m always surprised how much I need to eat to get enough.

        I too use MCT oil in my coffee every morning. For the exact same reason you do. Keeping metabolically healthy is probably the best way to prevent dementia, though.

      • Sean

        Coconut oil – 1 spoonful for me and one spoonful for my coffee.

    • Sean

      Congrats on the weight loss.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      *reads carefully*

      I don’t have the pre-diabetes signs, but your “before” description is a description of me. 6’1″, 285ish, linebacker frame. 205-215 was my happy spot when I was more active. Carbs are a weakness, and I try to avoid them but not religiously so. I find that when I relax and eat substantial carbs, I feel like shit the next day.

      • PutridMeat

        I find that when I relax and eat substantial carbs, I feel like shit the next day.

        This right here. I just feel like crap. Bloated, gassy, yuck. It was getting long and I didn’t want to dwell on my bowels until SF Wednesday, so I left it out, but I just feel like crap when I eat carbs these days. Now how much of that is psychosomatic since I’ve convinced my self that carbs are very bad for me? But I’m pretty sure long extended farts are not psychosomatic.

      • Mustang

        Carbs aren’t bad. The two most consistently healthy diets on the planet, the Mediterranean and the Japanese (specifically the Okinawan), both have carbs as a staple. The difference is that they’re generally “clean” carbs. I swear the Japanese eat their bodyweight in rice every day, at least the ones I witnessed seemed to.

        Another key difference is the activity level. There’s a lot more walking and moving going on in those different regions than in the US.

        Everything in moderation is key…if you don’t tailor your intake to your activity level and eat good, clean foods, yeah, it’ll have a negative effect. I cut a substantial amount of meat from my diet and replaced it with fish and vegetarian substitutes and my gut has never felt better. No more audible gurgling, gas, or bloated feeling. I eat a shitload of rice too (twice a day most days) because I’ve grown up eating it.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’ve noticed that white flour treats me differently than rice. Bread pretty much guarantees me waking up halfway through the night with dry mouth. Heartburn, too, but I can’t tell if that’s from some other ingredient.

      • Tundra

        Carbs aren’t bad, but some people can’t process them very well. Also, without tracking it’s hard to know just how many you are taking in.

        Testing your reaction to carbs is very interesting. Sweet potato sends my glucose into the stratosphere, but bananas barely budge it.

        I do best with meat, fruits and roots. Most veggies make my gut very unhappy.

      • Mustang

        I’ll cut anyone who tried to take my sweet potatoes.

        I could stand to eat more fruit though.

      • Sean

        https://www.ratiofood.com/

        Keto friendly yogurt. I got some to try this week. I’m gonna add coconut chips to fatten it up.

      • PutridMeat

        As stated up front, it’s a very individual thing. There is almost certainly not a single ideal human diet. Which is why one should experiment to find what works.

        You may find that the “Mediterranean Diet” as actually practiced in the Mediterranean diet is not as carb heavy as that hawked in the western world.

        I will 100% disagree with the “Everything in moderation is key…” approach. Eat good clean foods – YES. This will get you 90% of the way there. Don’t take in a “moderate” amount of heavily processed carbs. What people define as “moderate” sugar is probably extremely bad for you. There are things that are simply not necessary to for healthy living and there’s no reason to consume them in moderation – if you’re going, sure, moderate as much as you can but also is suceptible to the fact that lots of bad things are nearly impossible to use in moderation in the long run.

        Re gut – this is why it’s an individual thing. I’m exactly the opposite. On carnivore, literally 0 gas. Minimal, easy bowel movements. With carnivore and keto, no bloat, no gas, no audible gurgling. Adding carbs and that all goes away. Different strokes, different folks. I’ve got a strong Norwegian background crossed with a pure Mediterranean background. Not sure were my disposition comes from!

      • Mustang

        That’s a good point. There’s a lot of stuff that’s just not necessary in any amount.

        Exactly right on it being an individual thing as well. I just reflexively go against the “no/low-carb” mantra that’s banging around too because I hear a lot of people loading up on processed meats instead, believing that somehow that’s healthier than a bowl of rice (not claiming that rice is particularly healthy here).

        Do whatever works for you as long as it’s maintainable for the long term!

    • juris imprudent

      But the fat-face staring back at you don’t lie!

      I have an ID that I haven’t updated the pic on – just to serve as a reminder.

  14. DEG

    I have a work meeting in a few minutes, but I need to share this bit of wisdom from ADA Binger. He states in his closing arguments:

    An unarmed man cannot kill someone

    I feel… enlightened.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sounds like this guy is stepping on his own toes again. Let’s see if the defense stays true to form and messes up even worse.

      • cyto

        So far he is terrible. It is an almost incomprehensible mishmash of random factoids presented in a disjointed and fumbling manner.

    • UnCivilServant

      lying liars lie, story at 11

    • Fatty Bolger

      That’s just weird. I mean, the jury obviously knows that isn’t true.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How many manslaughter/murder cases have been brought to trial in the past year where someone was killed with bare fists?

      • Swiss Servator

        Lots of domestics are…Strangulation is a biggie.

      • R C Dean

        Not exactly how many cases, but the FBI does track homicides by weapon type (or lack thereof).

        From 2015 – 2019, I count thousands killed with “personal weapons (hands, fists, feet, etc.)”, and more killed by poison, strangulation, fire, drowning, narcotics, asphyxiation and other means that don’t involve anything that most people would consider a weapon.

    • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

      Apparently he’s never heard of the oh-so-popular-amongst-the-delinquents game called “one-punch challenge.” Several unsuspecting, um, objects of that game died in Vancouver a few years ago.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      This was my favorite line:

      Binger: Jump kick man has no weapon tries to merely kick defendant in face. Huber grabs gun to disarm him, Grosskreutz does nothing until he sees defendant reaady gun to fire again, then just grabs at rifle, does not fire at defendant.— Law of Self Defense (@LawSelfDefense) November 15, 2021

      • R C Dean

        Grosskreutz does nothing until he sees defendant reaady gun to fire again

        Another lie, apparently unchallenged by the defense even thought there is good video showing Grosskreutz lied.

      • Tundra

        Pretty passive defense. WTF are they doing?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Can you interrupt the entire closing argument? I guess eventually you just have to let the guy make his bullshit argument.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        It sounded like the Defense objected early on, and I thought the judge said no further objections would be allowed during the close argument.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        And then as soon as I typed that, the judge upheld an objection from the prosecutor.

    • Not Adahn

      Maybe he meant “a man with no arms.”

      • Gender Traitor

        +1 Black Knight

      • juris imprudent

        “Come back here, I’ll bite your kneecap!”

    • Rebel Scum

      He also said that carrying a weapon is a provocation. Ergo carrying a weapon for defense means you can’t claim defense…

  15. Ghostpatzer

    Christians believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I’m not sure what to make of this:

    The return of Moses

    • Grummun

      Egyptian fat-tailed scorpions

      Not fat! Just, you know, big boned.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wouldn’t that be large exoskeletoned?

      • Swiss Servator

        “My Mom says I am thick chitoned!”

    • rhywun

      Charming.

  16. Not Adahn

    UnCiv:

    Did you get the results sent to you?

    We were at the top of the list, and the next guy was nowhere close (48%). KF&G shooters are flipping terrible.

    • UnCivilServant

      Not that I’ve seen. What means were they sent?

      • Not Adahn

        Email. But now that I’m looking at them, I’m not sure I believe them. I’m thinking there were some errors. Did you really have a combined time on stage 4 of 5.56s?

      • Not Adahn

        And some people who DNFd have times entered for later stages but not earlier ones.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have not seen any emails.

        I can’t recall if I got a sub 3 second time on any string. I have doubts both ways.

  17. Ed Wuncler

    I’m watching the trial live and holy shit. So much is riding on this case because if Rittenhouse is found guilty, this is a signal to potential rioters that they can wreck shit and assault people with impunity and that those who decide to defend their property or themselves could potentially be fucked.

    • Ed Wuncler

      The commentary from Rekieta Law is awesome for people like me who aren’t as familiar with the intricacies of the law.

    • Tundra

      This whole circus is an attack on the 2A. No matter the result, look for some nasty executive orders.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Yep. The idea that you can defend yourself and your property is an anathema to the statist. It’s been said many times here, but it’s easier to rule over people who have no means of defending themselves.

    • PutridMeat

      Or it will be a signal to people defending their property and lives to adopt a more “Shoot, Shovel, and Shut UP” approach…

      • SDF-7

        Won’t work if the FBI is drone filming everything. They’ll come after the defenders.

      • juris imprudent

        Unless they misplace the video.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I could also see it go the opposite way. That group of 20 guys, armed and armored, will gun down the rioters and anyone who tries to arrest them. What is there to lose in going for broke if the rule of law is dead and there’s nothing a political show trial that awaits surrendering?

        In some areas, you may even have local LEOs in that group of armed citizens protecting their town.

      • Ed Wuncler

        The Left is playing with fire by having this sort of trial. If people feel like the justice system won’t protect them or be impartial, they’ll provide their own form of justice.

      • juris imprudent

        They never understand that their actions have consequences, until they’re up against the wall.

      • cyto

        I had related thoughts…

        The city abandoned these people. They told police to stand down. Prosecutors across the country refusing to prosecute anyone of the left.

        So citizens try to defend their community.

        But it is small. Just a handful. Most are operating under the assumption that this will pass and things will go back to normal.

        But what happens when the average person stops believing that? How many folks come out? How short does the fuse become?

        We see this receding, indicating to me that it was a creation of DNC associated “grassroots” organizing, rather than some organic outpouring. But there are still some folks who didn’t get the memo to stand down in the Biden era.

        What happens if this continues?

        I agree.. we end up with real anarchic policing. A group starts throwing firebombs at businesses and the regular Joes come out to put an end to it. And then we really have an effed situation.

  18. kinnath

    https://nypost.com/2021/11/15/prosecutors-use-road-house-photo-in-kyle-rittenhouse-trial/

    Prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse murder trial bizarrely used an image from the 1980s Patrick Swayze flick “Road House” in Monday’s closing arguments to suggest that the teen should not have “brought a gun to a fistfight.”

    In a later scene, Dalton, fearing for his life, kills Jimmy with his bare hands, while the movie’s climax features a trio of local residents shooting Wesley, bringing order to a lawless town.

    Isn’t this the same dipshit that said an unarmed man can’t kill someone.

    • Sean

      Honk honk.

  19. cyto

    I am listening to this defense attorney and I can’t help wondering how different this closing would sound with a master storyteller like Robert Barnes.