Friday Morning What’s HE doing here? Links

by | Oct 15, 2021 | Daily Links | 432 comments

I know, a day early, but sometimes Banjos ties one on and someone else on staff has to step over the puddle of vomit and work the Links Machine. This time it’s me.

Spudalicious spent several days with us and managed to get himself a good taste of the workings of the modern liberal arts student. Actual conversation at the local bar:

Spud: … so he’s definitely Aspie.

Liberal Arts Student: (icily) That is not a term we use any more.

Spud: Look, my son is an Aspie. He’s 30 years old and unable to work a job.

Liberal Arts Student: (glares, extra ice) That is NOT a term we use any more.

Spud: (realizes he’s about to get canceled with a beer bottle to the head, shuts up)

SP: (changes subject quickly) So we thought it might be fun to put pictures of our staff as little kids on our Instagram page!

Liberal Arts Student: That is NOT acceptable. Many of us had different gender identifications then and do NOT want to be associated with that. This is non-inclusive and problematic!

SP: (smiles and shuts up)

I should mention a few birthdays, including a guy who operated best under pressure; the nihilistic ‘stache; a guy who has a museum right down the road from us; the inspiration for Mahatma Kane Jeeves; a guy who was of two minds; a moray eel latched onto the Kennedys; a guy who made a fortune inflicting shitty cars on the American public; a guy who has been so easy to parody that he’s actually taken seriously; the nemesis of Earl Weaver; and a larger-than-life chef who can’t actually cook.

Let’s do links. That is a term we still use.

 

“I have information that could lead to the conviction of Hillary Clinton.”

 

Really, how long before Gloria Allred jumps into this?

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hand that seat back to Team Red, you morons.

 

The Jews are behind this, right?

 

These guys are getting canceled. No question.

 

“I find myself oddly excited by this. Those bags are faaaaaabulous.”

 

It’s all Bezos’s fault.

 

Old Guy Music is just an absolutely fucking delightful cover by some absolutely fucking amazing musicians.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

432 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Hey dipshit, your “we” doesn’t include me.

    • cavalier973

      I would have started talking about how important it is to get double jabbed, plus take any and all boosters available.

      • Nephilium

        More boosters = More human, right?

        /failed to find the appropriate Dark Harvest scene

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They should definitely stay really safe and take at least two of each version.

      • Rat on a train

        The vaccine.gov site sucks. I can’t find how to schedule a smallpox vaccination.

      • cavalier973

        See if a search for “cowpox” works

      • Sean

        I would have started talking about how important it is to get double jabbed,

        I’d be confident that Spud & OMWC have used that pickup line before.

      • cavalier973

        Excuse me a moment, while I wipe my stinging nose and then clean the coffee off the floor.

    • waffles

      Can I be in your we?

      • Rat on a train

        Americans need to be more inclusive. When are we going to get an inclusive we?

      • Bobarian LMD

        When are we going to get an inclusive we?

        As soon as we do something about all those nasty Trump voters.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Bill Clinton in California hospital with non-Covid infection

    That’s an interesting way of saying syphilis.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Bill does not “get” syphilis; he gives it!

  3. UnCivilServant

    You should have broken the bottle over the LAS’ head while screaming “You do not get to dictate my speech!”

    • Not Adahn

      “What means ‘we’ Kemosabe?”

      You could have fun watching the seizure.

    • Sean

      I’m curious why they were engaged in a conversation with a hostile.

  4. Not Adahn

    NPR had a bit about the aftermath of the Lebanese judge — an “hours long” gunbattle. Six killed. Apparently Lebanon is where Imperial stormtroopers are trained.

    • AlexinCT

      Did they mention how jealous they were team blue couldn’t do that here in the US?

  5. AlexinCT

    “I have information that could lead to the conviction of Hillary Clinton.”

    Put em on a death watch…

    • cavalier973

      Watch for dog comms

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Facebook’s real crime

    You don’t need a degree in neuroscience to understand why companies like Facebook are toxic to both society and our mental health. The problems of social media platforms, from facilitating genocide to elevating anti-vaccine sentiments during a global pandemic to boosting guys like Ben Shapiro, are much bigger than the individual brain chemistries of its users. And saying that humans are powerless automatons, unthinkingly moving from one dopamine crash to the next, cedes even more undue power to companies like Facebook while minimizing our own agency and capacity to self-regulate and moderate our time online.

    Needz moar censorship.

    Gawker? I thought you was dead.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Zombie.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Given the lofty opinion of humankind he’s displaying there, I would bet good money that he would be all in on reeducation.

      The guy is a literal walking, talking totalitarian and is too stupid to recognize it.

  7. Cy Esquire

    Let’s go Brandon!

    • AlexinCT

      Heh….

      • Sean

        Clearly a deplorable.

        Approved.

    • waffles

      I think Let’s go Brandon has legs because it’s got layers to it, like an ogre. I see it sticking around, dogging Joe for the foreseeable future.

      • Festus

        Yeah. It’s not a mere shit-posting meme anymore. This one has legs. Long legs.

  8. AlexinCT

    These guys are getting canceled. No question.

    How many people will be banned for linking to this on social media?

    As I keep telling idiots: There is no consensus, misinformation, censorship, and fact checking in science. When you see any of those what you have is propaganda…

    • Plisade

      If someone could explain that report in simple terms, that’d be great. I did try to understand it, but, yeah.

      • cavalier973

        The sun is making the earth hot

      • Plisade

        Handle checks out.

      • Timeloose

        I only scanned it, but the report focused on the differences in cloud cover being a much larger factor in the variation of the planets temperature than is commonly recognized by those modeling climate change.

        Much of the peak heating periods over the past several years corresponds to times where cloud cover affected the IR being retained or radiated into space.

      • Plisade

        Thanks. Off to research cloud cover.

  9. Not Adahn

    OMWC, when you come down with Wonder Dog, we can go to the dog park and you can hang out with a couple of (((them))). They’re not your people: ex-Soviet, then ex-Israeli. Fantastic dog though. And the wife has an amazing ass for her age and wears lycra to prove it. Her face looks exactly like you’d expect an aging Jewess with enough money for plastic surgery to look. Every now and then they go off on the other dog owners for being too pro-Commie.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Sadly, Wonder Dog is very old for her breed and moving slowly. But she’d enjoy a nice nap in a cool breeze.

  10. R.J.

    When the illegal border crossers wear clothes from this collection, I will be impressed.

    https://avavav.com/

    • cavalier973

      Boots with fat toes

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There’s a sucker with money born every ten minutes or so.

      • cavalier973

        “Whoa! This placenta is composed of hunnerd dolla bilz!”

    • AlexinCT

      Da Fuq?

    • rhywun

      WTF did I just see?!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Fashion

      • waffles

        I choose to believe it’s a parody site but you can never be quite sure.

      • R.J.

        Kind of. You can buy some of those items. The items and styles rotate in and out.

  11. AlexinCT

    Why bother? Just blame Trump and his terrorist followers as usual, and your drooling masses will lap it up like porn queens do splooge…

  12. The Late P Brooks

    PRESTO!

    Interior Secretary Deb Haaland on Wednesday announced an “ambitious road map” to developing wind farms along most of the U.S. coastline, leasing plots for seven major offshore wind farms by 2025. The leases off Maine, New York, California, Oregon, the Carolinas, the Mid-Atlantic States, and the Gulf of Mexico would host windmills that generate a combined 30,000 megawatts of power by 2030, avert 78 million metric tons of carbon dioxide emissions, and create up to 77,000 jobs, the White House says.

    The plan advances President Biden’s “plans to confront climate change, create good-paying jobs, and accelerate the nation’s transition to a cleaner energy future,” Haaland said. “This timetable provides two crucial ingredients for success: increased certainty and transparency. Together, we will meet our clean energy goals while addressing the needs of other ocean users and potentially impacted communities.” She added that the Interior Department is also working with other federal agencies to generate at least 25,000 megawatts of solar and wind power on public lands by 2025.

    The magic hat never lets us down. Soon we’ll all be rich.

    • cavalier973

      I was playing Simcity 4 yesterday, and finally met the requirements to build nukular power plants. It was awesome.

      • AlexinCT

        Did you promptly get rid of any and all maintenance in the hopes it would melt down?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s old and busted.

        The new hotness is building virology research labs with insufficient ventilation.

      • cavalier973

        And, the virus spreads more rapidly if you have fully-funded clinics and a city ordinance of “Free Simvaccines”

      • cavalier973

        It’s on my “to do” list

        I have about four or five cities going, none of them too well.

      • Rat on a train

        Does they take 20+ years to build due to bureaucracy and lawsuits?

    • Cy Esquire

      They can solve the seabird overpopulation crisis too!

  13. Zwak, sensual panzer

    So, we have gone from Dead Naming the little shits to Dead Picturing the little shits.

    Seems like Progress with a capital D.

  14. Not Adahn

    Former child star Matthew Mindler killed himself using sodium nitrate

    I remember in less enlightened times when dying from too much sausage was a euphemism for AIDS.

    • waffles

      Really? That one would have flown over my head as a kid. That’s pretty good.

    • AlexinCT

      What do Lean Bez and Magic Johnson have in common?

      Both had bad crack…

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    John Walsh appears to be getting a little desperate. Maybe he could drum up some business by kidnapping a few on his own.

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    So I posted an ad for a mechanic’s job on Facebook. Specified no mandate in the description and got a few applications.

    Some asshat decides to advertise his own mobile repair services in the comments. I’ll give him credit for chutzpah.

    • Nephilium

      In the regular e-mails I get soliciting me for support roles that are all over the state of Ohio (go overseas and H1-B recruiters who have no idea how large Ohio is), I’ve noticed about 25% are now including proof of vaccination or weekly negative covid tests required.

      Work had a meeting yesterday and stressed multiple times that it was the US government imposing the vaccination mandates, not %company%. Of course, still waiting on the rules to be published before %company% releases any rules for us workers.

      • Fourscore

        Yesterday someone checked me on Linked-In. WTF is up with that, how, why did I ever get on Linked-In? Got to be a parody site.

    • db

      Wow, that’s good news. I’ve seen a number of local signs advertising candidates for our local school board, and prominent among them are calls for more oversight by parents.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    The Data for Progress poll released on Thursday also showed Sinema’s favorability among prospective primary voters in her state in free fall, at just 24 percent. Meanwhile, a staggering 70 percent reported an unfavorable opinion of the first-term senator.

    Those numbers stand in stark contrast to those of Sen. Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.), Arizona’s junior senator who was elected just last year. Eighty-five percent of potential primary voters say they have a favorable view of Kelly, while only 11 percent hold an unfavorable opinion of him.

    The Data for Progress poll surveyed 467 likely Democratic primary voters and has a margin of error of 5 percentage points.

    Did they conduct that survey in an ASU sociology lecture?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kelly is just a standard Democrat twat. I’ll give Sinema credit for having a spine.

    • cavalier973

      Surveys and polls are all conducted using Dominion machines, which are totally unhackable because they are definitely not hooked up to the Internet.

      • Sean

        Is that a thumb drive in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      If you can’t trust a poll from a company called Data for Progress, what can you trust?

  18. db

    Re: the bar conversation: ugh. just ugh.

  19. cavalier973

    If we get another pet, I am going to push for the name “Enthalpy”

    • waffles

      I also want a charmander

      • cavalier973

        “Enthalpy “Charmander” von Schuckmann

      • Not Adahn

        Girl Genius:

        Agatha Heterodyne, daughter of Bill Heterodyne and Lucretzia Mongfish is currently in a relationship with na-baron Gilgamesh Wulfenbach (son of Klaus), though Tarvek Sturmvoraus want to win her for himself.

      • cavalier973

        Sounds like an Agatha Christie/P.G. Wodehouse crossover novel.

        I’d read it.

      • Not Adahn

        Big fan of OotS.

      • mock-star

        Hunh, I wondered what Phil Foglio was doing since Dragon magazine went under 15 years ago.

      • Grummun

        Lucretzia Mongfish

        I love that name. Just reading it, you’re thinking “ooooh she’s evil.”

      • Not Adahn

        Yes she tried to TAKE OVER DE VURLD via mind control slaver wasps. Currently is living inside her daughter’s skull in a not-completely successful attempt at immortality.

      • Grummun

        Yeah, I’ve read some, but not all, of the comics. I’ve got the four “Agatha H.” novels, and I’m really hoping they do at least one more of those.

        There is a scene, fairly early on, where DuPree reports having seen a “vision” of Agatha and Gilgamesh, clearly something time-travely. That teaser hasn’t paid off yet.

      • Rat on a train

        I want the electric rat.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have some spares. What have you got to trade?

  20. UnCivilServant

    I wish they’d finish replacing the gas main. The noise is making my head hurt. I get it, no one wants the old pipe to go boom, but get the new one in the ground.

    • Rat on a train

      no one wants the old pipe to go boom
      That reminds me. ManPersonhole explosion season is approaching in DC. I wonder how many they will get this year.

  21. Q Continuum

    I know you weren’t a fan of Phoenix OMWC, but I don’t know how you can tolerate living in a place like your current digs.

    • cavalier973

      It’s cold up there, true; but, it’s a *dry* cold.

      • Fourscore

        Could be worse for OMWC, could be my neighbor and really cold. Today’s high is 45 and rain.

      • Rat on a train

        It’s cold outside, there’s no kind of atmosphere, he’s all alone, more or less?

      • l0b0t

        I want to lie, footloose and comatose; drinking fresh mango juice?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    The wind farm plan was announced amid “an energy crisis around the world” nestled inside “a perfect storm of crises,” Axios reports. “A combination of weather-related issues (many of which are related to climate change), unexpected demand, and planned outages has sent natural gas and coal prices through the roof,” and the “global energy transition to renewables” just “hasn’t come soon enough.”

    Yeah, just keep saying that. “We” believe you.

    • Q Continuum

      “A combination of weather-related issues (many of which are related to climate change), unexpected demand, and planned outages has sent natural gas and coal prices through the roof”

      You mean climate change is responsible for crippling regulations and ideological policy that makes fossil fuel extraction and exploitation non-feasible? Is there nothing it can’t do?!

      • Not an Economist

        You mean climate change is responsible for crippling regulations and ideological policy that makes fossil fuel extraction and exploitation non-feasible? Is there nothing it can’t do?!

        Yes … and no.

      • AlexinCT

        Climate change is responsible for whatever the people that tell you you must give up your freedoms and standard of living so the elite can feel even more superior cause they keep theirs say it is responsible for, you fucking serf!

  23. Q Continuum

    “Bill Clinton in California hospital with non-Covid infection crotch rot”

    FIFY.

  24. Festus

    That conversation. What a world, what a world…

    • juris imprudent

      Not sure why LAS has a say about putting pictures up – are you exploiting they’s labor?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    It’s cold up there, true; but, it’s a *dry* cold.

    Well, axially, it’s not. It’s a wet cold. Wet, bitter, biting, brutal cold.

    • cavalier973

      It’s transdry weather. Stop being problematicallizational.

  26. Q Continuum

    “Hand that seat back to Team Red, you morons.”

    McCain would probably have voted for the $3.5T monstrosity.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      While flipping the bird to his party members.

    • Rat on a train

      What a maverick.

    • AlexinCT

      No probably… That fucker was a massive statist asshole.

    • Drake

      He would have stroked out when we stopped fighting pointless wars.

  27. PieInTheSky

    In the absence of sports links I will contribute a Go dodgers! (I still don;t know anything about baseball but in the end I concluded that as a lakers fan I should root for the dodgers and rams)

    • cavalier973

      In baseball, the most important thing is the vendor food at the ballpark. Also, despite the name, you can’t put you ball on a leash and take it for a walk.

    • Rat on a train

      as a lakers fan I should root for the dodgers and rams
      and Kings

      • robc

        Why the Rams instead of Chargers?

        Why the Dodgers instead of Angels?

        Why the Kings instead of Ducks?

        or, really, why not the Clippers?

      • Rat on a train

        The Angels and Ducks are in Orange County, the Chargers moved from San Diego, and the Clippers are the Clippers.

      • robc

        The Rams moved from St Louis (and Chicago).

        Also, as someone who has never been in California, like there is a difference between LA County and Orange County. No one east of the Rockies can tell them apart.

        Next you are going to tell me that there is a difference between Queens and Suffolk County. Same island.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Huge difference between the counties.

      • Rat on a train

        It was bigger before the fall of the Orange Curtain.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Aint that the truth. Hell, even within the counties there are difference. I had no connection to San Fran valley. SGV for life! lol

      • Rat on a train

        We can all agree that Huntington Beach was the best beach.

      • Ownbestenemy

        +1 Missing first period of every day of senior year to be at the beach and surf.

      • Rat on a train

        My high school had a competition surf team. Lucky bastards got to leave school early to go surf.

      • juris imprudent

        Also late of San Diego.

      • robc

        And the Angels started in LA, unlike the Dodgers.

      • Rat on a train

        +26 Gene Autry

      • PieInTheSky

        Why the Rams instead of Chargers – well I don’t know. which have the better quarterthingy?

      • Rat on a train

        Maybe you should decide based on which team has the better stadium, team colors or such.

      • PieInTheSky

        which stadium milked less from the taxpayers you mean?

      • juris imprudent

        Now that’s funny since the Chargers play in the Rams stadium.

      • Rat on a train

        Do the Chargers use a different name similar to the short time the Angels played at Chavez Ravine?

      • juris imprudent

        SoFi Stadium for both, but the Rams owner built it (mostly on his own dime – praise to him). Spanos and company are tenants.

    • pistoffnick

      At least you aren’t rooting for the Yankees *spits*

  28. The Late P Brooks

    McCain would probably have voted for the $3.5T monstrosity.

    He would have gone into reconciliation looking for a $6T compromise.

  29. Festus

    On a side note, how dare you drop these fat links on Friday? I’ll never catch up. I’ll get you one day, Gadget!

  30. PieInTheSky

    Two hours to go of work from home and I am already half in a bottle of wine plus a whisky. I did not drink any alcohol at all for 4 days and I have a tendency of overcompensating when I stay off the sauce for a while. The challenge for next week is not to drink anything Monday to Thursday *and* not over-drink on Friday. A challenge indeed.

    • waffles

      Not drinking, like most anything becomes easier the more I (not) do it.

    • db

      I thought Romanians never drink … wine.

      • Mojeaux

        +1 Coppola’s soft-core

  31. Not an Economist

    Somebody got a surprise while sleeping.

    She gonna make a lot of money out of this.

    • Sean

      *hovers over link*

      Huh, not Cosby related.

      • Q Continuum

        “Meteorite” is street slang for Triazolam.

    • Rat on a train

      A test run for SMOD?

      • Not an Economist

        We can only hope.

    • DrOtto

      “Professor Peter Brown” *snickers, tries not to make a gay joke*

    • The Last American Hero

      How much will pilgrims pay to gain access to her bedroom for a peek at the rock?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Meh, I’m sure there are many people qualified to hold those positions that can pass a background check and hold a clearance and have the general qualifications. Then, after finishing all of the training a little more than a year after hire in, they’ll be ready to start working. Shouldn’t effect the facility at all.

      • cavalier973

        “I was a barista for six weeks. Can I be a nuclear scientist?”

      • Q Continuum

        They’re making a strategic error by suing; the courts are 100% on board with this totalitarianism. The only thing that seems to be working are mass “sick outs” (see: the SW pilots). You can’t rely on a corrupt system to counteract corrupt mandates, the only way out is mass passive resistance a-la Gandhi.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you try to plan a sick out at a nuclear facility you’ll be ratted out ahead of time and fired.

      • Q Continuum

        “Don’t be no yellow-bellied sonofabitch.”

        Best advice I’ve heard in a long time.

      • Mojeaux

        Helps he had a bunch of people to go with …

      • cavalier973

        +1

        People are scared of stepping out alone, and getting squished.

      • Mojeaux

        Exactly.

        So far, My Dude’s employer is only requiring testing and masks when he has to go into the office twice a week. Big bank apparently not going there with the vax. Yet.

      • PutridMeat

        Actual footage of me avoiding the vax.

    • AlexinCT

      Now do one of these where it is the guy that offers up his wife to his neighbor that says having sex with his wife is like fucking a corpse, and lets see the reaction…

    • EvilSheldon

      Surprise ending – her ‘husband’ is an actual sex machine.

  32. Shpip

    Actor Matthew Mindler killed himself with sodium nitrate purchased from Amazon

    Sounds like the cure was worse than the disease.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Looks it needs to be banned so people won’t be able to kill themselves anymore.

      • Fourscore

        But he did look good at the viewing. Better living (dying) through chemistry.

    • Rat on a train

      I can’t say as I’ve never heard anything by The Disease.

    • db

      But he’ll be well preserved.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Holy fuck. The Hill, in its ongoing race to make itself a completely unreadable video popup nightmare, just threw a petition at me to “demand” national universal vote-by-mail.

    Because elections just aren’t corrupt enough.

    • AlexinCT

      Democracy only happens when democrats win! Says so right in the name…

    • Not Adahn

      There’s a charity that comes down and puts condoms and lube in the trees.”

      Heck of a grant application there.

    • TARDis

      It means Boobs that are Q worthy?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Boobs anyway. And sandwich buns. Double entendre. I assume the sisters have named it after both their products and their own poitrines.

      • TARDis

        Well Q did specify “Big”.
        /pedant

        So I learned two new words today. Well, three if I include French for Brisket. (poitrine de boeuf) *searches for recipes*

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Champion of he little guy

    Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) is calling for the breakup of Amazon after Reuters reported that the online retail giant created knock-off products and manipulated product searches in India.

    In response to the report, Warren tweeted that the documents at the heart of the news service’s article “show what we feared about Amazon’s monopoly power—that the company is willing and able to rig its platform to benefit its bottom line while stiffing small businesses and entrepreneurs.”

    As if Elizabeth Warren ever gave a fuck about entrepreneurs or small businesses, beyond the campaign checks and lobbying.

    • cavalier973

      In India, was it? Warren is just looking after her people.

    • The Last American Hero

      Apparently Warren has never been to a large chain grocery store or seen the “Kirkland” brand at Costco.

      Sears did this for decades as well.

  35. Festus

    Newest update video from Corporate “Don’t get shot!” Fucking clowns.

    • Festus

      They pay a team of useless assholes to promulgate this bullshit. Is it any wonder that our civilization is whirling down the drain? I’d like to wring their fucking necks but it’s hard to do when I’m wearing my mandated “anti-strangling” mittens.

      • Q Continuum

        PSA: remember to occasionally switch hands when jerking off to avoid becoming dependent on the sensations of your dominant hand.

      • Timeloose

        is that what you call getting some strange?

    • pistoffnick

      I finished my mandatory “Hand Safety” course in record time.

      Basically it said don’t stick your hand into places where they might get crushed or shocked. Don’t cut your hands. Wear gloves except at time when you shouldn’t wear gloves.

      No shit! I never would have thought of those things on my own!

      What a waste of 34 seconds.

      • Rat on a train

        Have they provided training for all body parts? I see some serious liability.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Our training department has gotten clever and disabled the ability to jump time. Too many people were successfully completing an course slated for 1 hour in 5 minutes.

        Never mind the completion rate and pass rates were near 100%

      • Rat on a train

        Do they also have real, one-time tests at the end? Too much of the mandatory training has, fortunately, been no assessment or “select until you pick the correct answer”. That means I can mute the speakers and let the training videos run in a window while I do other things.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Real test, but these are annual training and nothing changes. The ones that bother me is “pre-test” and I think..cool, don’t need to do training. Take it, pass with 100 and then onto the training. WTF.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Our racism/bias training has real tests and they don’t show the “correct” answers. And it’s surprisingly difficult to guess the answers HR wants to hear for some of the questions. Example: “I do not consider how race may affect the experiences of an individual”; True/False. Now any sane person would immediately hit “True”, but I think HR actually wants false for this one since we’re supposed to defer to the experiences of women and people of color (aka everyone but white men).

        Actually, it’s not really training and rather more of an assessment of how racist employees are.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I even had to google some of the questions to see what the hell I was supposed to answer.

      • cavalier973

        What happens if you fail?

      • PutridMeat

        You need to install software on your laptop. Pick the correct answer:

        A. You downloaded from a torrent site, so it’s safe. Install the software yourself.
        B. Ask Achmed, your office mate, to hack your machine and install the software for you.
        C. Contact IT services, file a form 6767730/5-B. Route request through 12 layers of management and await approval from huge-bureaucratic -bloated-sclerotic-department-of-redundant-security. Report request to at least 5 separate entities. Wait for 6 months for IT to get around to installing software on your machine. After you no longer need it.

        PM contemplates what the correct answer is….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Always use lube to avoid friction burns.

    • Rat on a train

      I thought SCOTUS changed the format to prevent interruptions. I guess that was a limited decision that only applies to Sotomayor.

  36. Q Continuum

    “Radiative Energy Flux Variation from 2001–2020”

    UNPOSSIBLE. SCIENCE! knows that the Sun is a completely static system with absolutely no variability whatsoever, certainly no variability that could affect temperatures on Earth. The *ONLY* possible explanation for any change is Earth’s climate is evil Deplorables living their evil Deplorable lives and in order to save the planet we much tax and regulate them out of existence. The “scientists” who published this paper are obviously White Supremacists (I mean, they’re German!) planting false stories to sabotage the work of those with Immaculate True Knowledge for the purpose of killing off all BIPOC LGBTQ+++ individuals and thrusting us into a dystopian theocracy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’re going to get kicked off of YouTube with that kind of jibber jabber.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Reuters, citing internal emails, strategy papers and plans, reported on Wednesday that Amazon ran a campaign to copy products and then sell them on its own platform in India, which is one of the company’s largest growth markets. According to the news service, Amazon’s private-brands team in India exploited internal data to copy products from other platforms and then offer them on Amazon.

    Employees also increased sales of Amazon private-brand products by rigging search results so that the company’s products would appear in “the first 2 or three … search results,” Reuters reported, citing a strategy document.

    Documents further reportedly revealed that Amazon employees studied proprietary data about other brands on its Indian platform to “replicate” the products.

    OH

    MY

    GOD!

    Reverse-engineered ripoffs of other companies’ products? That’s completely unheard of. Jeff Bezos’ entrepreneurial criminality knows no bounds.

    • cavalier973

      Amazon actually manufactures stuff, now?

      Do they write their own books?

      “Fifty Shades of Off-White”, by A. Mazon. $2.99 on Kindle

      • UnCivilServant

        It wouldn’t be cost effective to do that.

        As it stands the authors do all the costly development work and Amazon just collects the distribution profits. ie, what they’re doing by copying popular physical goods.

        If they had to pay someone to reverse engineer books… well it’d reduce their returns.

      • Nephilium

        They’ve had a line of products called Amazon Basics for a while. Mostly random cables, headphones, and other commodity products.

      • Tulip

        How is this different from store brands at Giant?

      • The Last American Hero

        It’s not.

      • Nephilium

        It isn’t. It’s generic products, but since Amazon is Amazon, now it’s evil.

      • rhywun

        And clothing.

        I just assume they pay some cheap Chinese shop to stick their name on it.

        I doubt they’re “copying” anything.

      • EvilSheldon

        Amazon Basics undershirts are actually really good. Or they were when I last ordered some.

      • cavalier973

        Sam’s Choice chocolate chip cookies used to be really good

      • CPRM

        Sam’s Choice is a step above Great Value.

      • mock-star

        I used to work at a Wal-mart warehouse. The Sam’s choice/Equate/Great Value stuff came from the exact same manufacturers as the name brand labeled things.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And some others such as Solimo and AmazonCommercial.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    I want the electric rat.

    Does it have a frickin’ laser mounted on its head?

  39. Pope Jimbo

    Bad news: Gladys is dead. Good news: She died free.

    You losers probably just say Who?

    • cavalier973

      Some see an eagle owl.

      I see Mothman

    • EvilSheldon

      Bummer. Owls are cool. Not to bright, but still cool.

      • Mojeaux

        Raptors and corvids #FTW!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        But hawks and crows hate one another…

      • cavalier973

        Athena fumes with resentment

    • Fourscore

      They all look the same, don’t they?

  40. Festus

    Fuck it. I’m going to take my Eureka moment and walk away. We’ll see whether it bodes well for Festus or not. Can’t get a hit if you don’t take a swing, right? Have a great one if you can manage it, dear Friends.

  41. Pope Jimbo

    Hmmmm……

    Looks like Journolist has a new talking point. Another story about why Capitalism is why no on likes newspapers or respects journalism.

    What threatens local newspapers now is not just digital disruption or abstract market forces. They’re being targeted by investors who have figured out how to get rich by strip-mining local-news outfits. The model is simple: Gut the staff, sell the real estate, jack up subscription prices, and wring as much cash as possible out of the enterprise until eventually enough readers cancel their subscriptions that the paper folds, or is reduced to a desiccated husk of its former self.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why should us heartless libertarians care about newspapers?

      This investment strategy does not come without social consequences. When a local newspaper vanishes, research shows, it tends to correspond with lower voter turnout, increased polarization, and a general erosion of civic engagement. Misinformation proliferates. City budgets balloon, along with corruption and dysfunction. The consequences can influence national politics as well; an analysis by Politico found that Donald Trump performed best during the 2016 election in places with limited access to local news.

      Yup. Our newspapers and journalists work tirelessly to keep city budgets down.

      • AlexinCT

        WHYFUCKINGCOME YOU JUST DON’T ACCEPT ANYTHING WE TELL YOU TO ACCEPT EVEN WHEN WE CHANGE THE STORY CONSTANTLY AND LIE LIKE FUCK???

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is the solution government subsidies for local newspapers? That’s it, isn’t it?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I guess you could try to offer a worthwhile product as an alternative.

      Also not considered in their analysis is how Fed policies incentivize this behavior.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    At the time, The Wall Street Journal reported that the company used information from other sellers to make decisions on its private-label business.

    “Hang on. Nobody buys those. Copy something else.”

    • cavalier973

      Amazon lost hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to sell fat toe boots

  43. cavalier973

    “Though the original interview quoted Ginsburg calling the anthem protests ‘dumb and disrespectful,’ Couric omitted parts she deemed more problematic, such as when Ginsburg reportedly said that the protesters were showing ‘contempt for a government that has made it possible for their parents and grandparents to live a decent life.’”

    https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2021/10/14/report-david-brooks-supported-katie-courics-decision-to-cut-key-rbg-quote-defending-anthem/

    • AlexinCT

      They wanted to make sure she didn’t have to be canceled, since everyone that disagrees on anything the morons tell you is the cult’s current beliefs has to be canceled…

  44. robc

    Related to link I posted in PM links…3 of the 4 drinks seemed like really bad ideas. But I thought the Midori Margarita had possibilities.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    So we thought it might be fun to put pictures of our staff as little kids on our Instagram page!

    “My, what an ugly baby you have there, Madam.”

  46. Sensei

    Has everyone heard about the new “gut” science?

    Moderna Booster Shot Backed by FDA Advisory Panel

    Members of the FDA’s vaccine-advisory panel supported Moderna’s booster dose even though the evidence for it was from a small study and had mixed results.

    “It’s more a gut feeling rather than based on really truly serious data,” said Patrick Moore, a member of the committee and a professor of molecular genetics and biochemistry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. “The data itself is not strong, but it is certainly going in the direction that is supportive of this vote.”

    • rhywun

      JFC.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I didn’t catch that quote.

      That one may make it into the history books, and not in a good way.

    • Rat on a train

      The precautionary principle states that you do what you want to do until someone beats you over the head with overwhelming evidence that you are wrong, in which case you can say you were just following SCIENCE.

    • Drake

      That last quote is beyond parody. It would be funny if the possible consequences didn’t include genocide.

    • Fourscore

      I get a gut feeling a couple times a day, probably more useful than the vaccine.

  47. Pope Jimbo

    Sigh. A respected ex-president on IV antibiotics. What troubled times.

    This is what happens when you hound saints like Jeffrey Epstein into suicide. No one is left to provide clean girls to our ruling class.

    • AlexinCT

      You blaming this on him having to bang skanks now (cause he ain’t doing Cthulhu’s female incarnation on earth)?

  48. cavalier973

    “John Lawrence Sullivan (October 15, 1858 – February 2, 1918), known simply as John L. among his admirers, and dubbed the “Boston Strong Boy” by the press, was an American boxer recognized as the first heavyweight champion of gloved boxing, de facto reigning from February 7, 1882 to September 7, 1892. He is also generally recognized as the last heavyweight champion of bare-knuckle boxing under the London Prize Ring Rules, being a cultural icon of the late 19th century America, arguably the first boxing superstar and one of the world’s highest-paid athletes of his era. Newspapers’ coverage of his career, with the latest accounts of his championship fights often appearing in the headlines, and as cover stories, gave birth to sports journalism in the United States and set the pattern internationally for covering boxing events in media, and photodocumenting the prizefights.[1]“

    Handlebar mustachios ought to be fashionable again for boxers.

    • rhywun

      I think hipsters have a lock on that particular fashion statement for the foreseeable future.

      • PieInTheSky

        On the one hand hipsters annoy me. On the other hand most good specialty coffee is made by hipsters. And some of the craft beer.

      • rhywun

        Avatar checks out

      • cavalier973

        Then hipsters need to pull on some gloves and climb into the ring.

      • PieInTheSky

        dunno man a complicate hairdo can be easily ruined by that sort of thing

  49. The Late P Brooks

    “It’s more a gut feeling rather than based on really truly serious data,” said Patrick Moore, a member of the committee and a professor of molecular genetics and biochemistry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. “The data itself is not strong, but it is certainly going in the direction that is supportive of this vote.”

    Get that man a Nobel Prize!

  50. cavalier973

    Happy birthday, Wodehouse!

    Hope you are having a blast at the Eternal Drones Club. Just don’t take the bet with Tuppy Glossip.

    I read the Wooster-Jeeves stories aloud to my wife.

    • PieInTheSky

      Are you sure that he never did, say, or write anything that may be considered problematic by a current liberal arts student? Cause if he did, you need to stop and cancel old PG.

      • cavalier973

        Sir A.C. Doyle once had Sherlock relentlessly mock a black man for smelling bad.

  51. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And good morning, Glibs of all flavors!

    Thanks for the glimpse into the mind of the MLAS. Tedious little fuckers, aren’t they.

    Don’t know about the bags, but those Pumas are pretty sweet. Kinda clean for someone who arrived via caravan, though.

    Sad story about the suicide kid. I guess good on him for not making a mess, but man I hate those stories.

    Nice Old Guy Music this morning. Weirdly, I like S&G covers more than their own stuff. Like this.

    Have a great Friday!

      • cavalier973

        I like it. I have grown to like Glenn Campbell over the years. Some nostalgia, I guess.

      • Mojeaux

        He is one of my very favorites. So underrated as a musician.

      • kinnath

        Best S&G cover

    • cavalier973

      My favorite Simon album is “Graceland”.

      Garfunkel I associate with “Watership Down”. The book was better than the animated feature film.

      Richard Adams also wrote “Traveler”, a story told from the perspective of Robert E. Lee’s horse.

      The Simon song, “Graceland” begins with the line, “The Mississippi Delta is shining like a Nation guitar. I am following the river down the highway through the cradle of the Civil War.”

      Simon and Garfunkel were now-Confederates.

      What did I put in this coffee?

      • cavalier973

        *neo-Confederates

      • EvilSheldon

        My parents had an unhealthy love for the Simon & Garfunkel Concert in Central Park live album. I still can repeat most of the lyrics from memory.

      • Drake

        Why was Cecilia such a slut?

      • cavalier973

        “Only Nixon could open China”, or something

      • UnCivilServant

        Nixon should have left China closed.

      • cavalier973

        Probably the communist nations only lasted so long because our own government continually propped them up

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      No Bangles?

      • Mojeaux

        “Walk Like an Egyptian” is my ringtone.

      • Tundra

        Good idea!

        Yum.

      • Chipwooder

        Only in my spank bank

  52. The Late P Brooks

    Is the solution government subsidies for local newspapers? That’s it, isn’t it?

    Don’t forget the Journalisming License. It’;s crucial to the success of the program.

  53. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I know someone who went to an Emeril show taping and they got to sample the food.

    Her review?

    It sucked.

    • The Last American Hero

      She must not like authentic New Orleans cuisine.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      She doesn’t care for spice weasel?

    • Chipwooder

      I’m guessing that the show food wouldn’t be as good as the same dish made in a normal kitchen since the preparation is chopped up into TV-friendly segments.

  54. Sensei

    Being a proper Glib, I’ve no issues with people spending money on what they choose. I do, however, enjoy the cognitive dissonance that the wealthy go through in order both consume and be green at the same time. Here is but one exhibit.

    2022 Porsche Taycan: A Tesla Rival That’s Eye-Catching—but Pricey

    Consider our test car, with a name worthy of the AKC Registry: the 2022 Porsche Taycan Turbo S Cross Turismo (hereinafter TTSCT, if it pleases the court). This gorgeously malevolent, deeply desirable electric multitasker is aimed at a select few. Of this particular pedigree—the Taycan (electric supersports four-door, introduced in 2019), Turbo S (dual-motor AWD, 750 hp max), Cross (with “Gravel” mode!) Turismo (hatchback)—Porsche will import fewer than 1,000 copies to North America. While the base price is $187,600, our fully laden spaceship rang up $208,650 at the register. Now that’s what I call a carbon offset.

    The color for the tester is green, naturally.

    • cavalier973

      Meanwhile, I am looking at purchasing some new boots. There is a Redwing store in town. $300 of a pair of waterproof boots. My wife says it might be worth it. She also says getting the entire collection of “Foxfire” books for $250 (only 3 left!) would *not* be worth it, even though we clearly are heading into an electricity-less and modern plumbing-less future rather quickly. Then, she complains that I don’t think ahead. I don’t understand her, sometimes.

      • Cy Esquire

        Women… can’t live without them… can’t…

      • Mojeaux

        I have the first 3 of those books.

      • Animal

        If you have the first three you have about 95% of the useful information. If you have the very first book you have over half the useful information.

        The design the Old Man used to build the limestone fireplace/chimney on our old Allamakee County place came from the first Foxfire book.

  55. l0b0t

    OMWC, please tell me the LAS was the Gonzalez chick that Instagram wants me so desperately to befriend. She’s hot and ideologically addled; she should be the first member of my future death cult one true faith.

  56. Rufus the Monocled

    DON’T ANY OF YOU WORK?!?!

    If someone can provide me with an update to past link it would be great.

    • UnCivilServant

      Yes, Rufus.

      I’m at work(ing from home).

      I’m even in a meeting where we’re discussing patching of a large set of systems.

      Nice to see you. Been a while

    • Tundra

      Welcome back Rufus!

    • Mojeaux

      Rufus!!!

    • Ownbestenemy

      I work-ish from home looking over maintenance logs.

      Also, nice to see ya Rufus

    • Tulip

      RUFUS! you’re back!!

    • rhywun

      WFH and catching a break between meetings.

    • Not Adahn

      *Kermit-waves Bonjour-Hi!*

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I’m checking in. Say hi to the gang. Ralph Malph, Potsie, Richie, Ciaci, Fonzi, Carmine.

      I’m busy fighting the rotten cocksucking commie jerk offs of what constitutes Quebec’s and Canada’s contemptible, incompetent, and pseudoscientific political and public health class. Hell can’t burn long and hot enough.

    • Fourscore

      Once was lost, now has been found…Good to see you and hopefully cooled down up north

  57. waffles

    Shapiro is really going to win governor of Pennsylvania isn’t he? It’s incredible how this state is so utterly hamstrung by the executive. Ughhhhh, they are rallying for him today within spitting distance of my workplace.

    • juris imprudent

      Then by all means spit that aways for me.

    • creech

      It’s more than a year to Election Day. Plenty of time for more Pennsylvanians to come to their senses. By then, Shapiro will have to take a stand on some issues, not just bad-mouth the GOP for “endangering our kids” with “weak COVID response.”

      • juris imprudent

        Hopefully the Republicans don’t self-destruct like they did in the last gubernatorial primary. Not holding my breath.

  58. DOOMco

    Happy Friday everyone!

      • DOOMco

        I finally got a chance to crack back into Gruefield 18.
        Really have to finish it, it’s been great.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

        I really have to finish the next book.

    • Tundra

      Hi Doom!

      How’s BabyDoom?

      • DOOMco

        We all had a cold this week, so we had the first sick snuggle in bed all day. That was nice. She’s also had about 10 meltdowns now because I can’t pick her up high enough to go to the moon.

        She’s through the cold now, ladydoom is on the last day or so.

      • Tundra

        Good. I’m glad everyone is on the mend!

      • TARDis

        How’s the dental issue these days?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Pretty sure I’ve seen that in some pr0n.

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s a house with a backstory.

      What is the story?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Previously owned by Michael Irvin?

      • Drake

        Prince

    • Mojeaux

      3 dance halls, a stripper pole, an indoor hot tub, a projection screen, a Poconos goth honeymoon suite, and Mamie pink bathrooms. I notice the kitchen is remarkably normal.

      • Not Adahn

        Direct access to the back yard from said bedroom, and a garage with a dual-oven range and $10k toolchest.

      • Not Adahn

        Galley kitchens are soooo passe.

      • Mojeaux

        I like galley kitens. In fact, the smaller the kitchen, the better. We are not foodies and not cooks and I hate cleaning (although I like having cleaned), so it’s good for me. We’re downsizing from a 2-butt kitchen to a 1-butt kitchen.

      • Mojeaux

        kitchen*

      • Ownbestenemy

        I need my prep space. I can do with little, but since I am a “lets see what we can make today” type of cook, I need stuff all over.

      • Mojeaux

        Nah, bruh. When I cook, I make one of 3 things: Beef stroganoff, spaghetti, or lasagna, all of which my son REALLY likes, but are labor-intensive. I make a stock pot full of spaghetti sauce or stroganoff, and it’s gone in 24 hours. I offered to teach him how to make it himself, but he burned the bottom of the stroganoff because he didn’t mind the pot, so now he’s scared he’ll do it again. It was fine, but you could taste the burnt part.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ive tried to teach the teens. Teen#1 doesn’t mind anything when he cooks. He wants to treat the stove like a microwave. He exploded a glass measuring cup when he put it directly on the flame. Luckily no one was in the kitchen when that went off.

        Teen#2 wants to learn. Asks me about spice profiles, what goes with what. Teaching him prep makes your life much easier in the kitchen. But then he gets lazy and doesn’t cook.

        Fuck I hate teenagers.

      • Mojeaux

        The only flavor profile I’m really militant about is rosemary on pork (not including bacon).

        If I cook a turkey, I spatchcock it. The first year I did it, the rub was good (black pepper, lots of sage, and thyme, brown sugar) (butter pats under the skin) and the vegetable bed just right. The second time I did it, I used the same rub, but changed the vegetable bed to oranges, apples, cranberries, and something else I can’t remember. The gravy turned out too sweet.

      • cavalier973

        You can make stroganoff in the crockpot.

      • Chipwooder

        Yup. This is the single biggest reason I pushed to sell our old house and move to this one. The old kitchen had a counter about the size of a postage stamp. Every damned night when I was making dinner, I’d have to use the kitchen table for things as well as the counter, and I was constantly bumping into everyone else as well as the dogs.

        My son has recently ventured into food prep. He doesn’t do anything more intensive than spaghetti with jarred sauce and browned ground beef and sausage, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless. More than I did at 13, anyway.

      • cavalier973

        Have him try Beef Lombardi next

      • Mojeaux

        I make my spaghetti sauce from almost scratch. I use canned tomato paste. I don’t measure anything.

      • Chipwooder

        I make my own too, family recipe from the old country from my great-grandmother. Only thing I do differently is I usually use canned San Marzano tomatoes rather than fresh tomatoes. His attention span isn’t quite long enough to do that, I think.

        I did make sauce from fresh tomatoes once recently. The local produce stand always has these big discount bags for two or three bucks which are full of stuff that’s close to going bad. They had one full of tomatoes one day, the prized local Hanover tomatoes. Bought it and made sauce that day and it was heavenly.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m too impatient/lazy to use fresh tomatoes.

    • Cy Esquire

      Shit neighborhood. Nice house!

    • Cy Esquire

      All kidding aside, that’s a swingers club house. $450 is pretty cheap for how much potential income you could get.

  59. Shpip

    It’s now officially mid-October, so I’ve switched my protein intake from dove and quail to pheasant and venison.

    Quite the game changer.

    • Ozymandias

      Ba-dum bum. *rimshot*

  60. Certified Public Asshat

    Bitcoin back over $60k.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Curious on the date. Wonder if he is an anti-vaxxer…11/8 is the deadline to get your final bout or the J&J. November 7 I doubt shows up on anyone’s “best date to retire” from OPM

    • Ownbestenemy

      And this asshat…can’t see the trees in the middle of the forest.

      $ENZC has the cure
      @POB47
      ·
      12h
      Replying to
      @joekent16jan19
      and
      @Cernovich
      Men have been doing it for years, now it’s a problem?

      Its always been a problem. Always.

  61. DOOMco

    I’m not ready for hyperinflation.

  62. Tundra

    I…..I was just making a joke.

    Looks like the Supply Chain Czar is as effective as the Border Czar. You really can’t make it up.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Making the argument against paid family leave.

    • Ownbestenemy

      In case anyone wants to know…FedGov and our Union negotiated, wait for it….9 months in addition of approved FMLA of baby leave, to be used however you want.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Perhaps it’s for the best.

      Government just needs to get the fuck out of the way.

    • Chipwooder

      My wife had a very difficult pregnancy with our daughter. She also actually, y’know, gave birth.

      She took six weeks of maternity leave.

      This fuckin’ guy did nothing more strenuous than filling out forms and writing a check and he’s been gone for two months? Fuck outta here. Does Chasten even work? Is there some reason both of them have to be home for two months?

  63. PieInTheSky

    today in youtube recommends

    English Words Americans Mispronounce ❌ Difficult English Words | Common Mistakes

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50sVMNMYNjA

    1, I am unsure mispronounce is right, maybe different pronunciations

    2. if this youtube is right I have been mispronouncing mischievous

    • UnCivilServant

      Me-skev-wa?

      To be fair, look up Ghoti some time

      • Rat on a train

        Jon?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        GB Shaw quote?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I certainly didn’t come up with it. 😛

    • Rat on a train

      English Words Americans Mispronounce
      We speak American.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There’s a trope in these explanatory videos that irritates the hell out of me because I can’t not hear it now.

      “Oh my gosh you guys….”

      “Hey guys….”

      “Look at this, guys….”

      • Chipwooder

        It’s fairly ubiquitous too. The gun videos I watch feature those intros. The arts and crafts videos my daugher watches do as well.

    • Mojeaux

      I’ve started watching that video before. She pronounces “echelon” correctly, of course, but it’s not an English word. Most of the words she talks about are French, so I take exception to her classifying them as English.

      • Chipwooder

        I get where you’re coming from, but it’s a word in common use in English.

        It’s an interesting question – how many words in the English language have roots in other languages? Quite a few of them, right?

      • UnCivilServant

        One of the hobbies of English is stealing verbiage, then changing it just enough to fit.

      • Chipwooder

        And we don’t have an equivalent of L’Academie Française to throw a fit about it

      • PieInTheSky

        changing it just enough to fit. – not quite enough, that’s how you people get your stupid spelling

      • Rat on a train

        Most languages change the spelling to fit the pronunciation when they borrow words. English often keeps the foreign spelling when borrowing from other Latin-alphabet languages.

      • Mojeaux

        Naw, she outright says it’s (American) English and it’s not, then expresses incredulity that people can’t say it right. Then she throws in a British word, “draught.” Yeah, we don’t spell it like that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not to mention that the Brits pronounce schedule differently than the Americans.

      • Chipwooder

        In some of the British TV shows I watch, I’ve noticed the American “sked-dule” pronunciation a few times.

      • Mojeaux

        I almost said that in my comment above.

        Brits pronounce the H in “herb” and they pronounce lieutenant “leftenant”, because at some point, the Brits and French were such enemies that the Brits didn’t want to use French words. So it all stuck.

      • Cy Esquire

        “at some point, the Brits and French were such enemies that the Brits didn’t want to use French words.”

        American English is different from England English for the exact same reason.

      • Mojeaux

        The American accent (I think mid-Atlantic) accent is said to be closer to the mid-18th century British accent (some say even Shakespearean, but I doubt that) than the British accent is now because it’s undergone a lot of changes ours hasn’t.

        I wish HM would weigh in on some of this stuff but he hasn’t been around in forever.

      • invisible finger

        There really is no such thing as a “British pronunciation.” The classism in Britain is so strong that there are more discernible accents in Britain than there are in the US. Cambridge grads purposely pronounce words differently from Oxford grads (and vice versa), and the elitists will often change pronunciations (and spellings) once something has been in use for a while.

      • Mojeaux

        Interesting. I did not know that. However, we have our own class-based accents, e.g., redneck, some combination of southern and country.

    • Mojeaux

      I grew up hearing “mis CHEE vee uss”. It’s “MIS cha vuss”.

      I also grew up hearing “sac rih LIJ ee uss”. It’s “Sac rih LEE juss”.

      • CPRM

        It’s Miss Jeeveeus, you’re all wrong.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Supposebly…

    • PieInTheSky

      I still say in game of thrones they pronounced eyrie wrong.

      One of the words I pronounced wrong for a long time was mused.

      I had a friend who first pronounced pomegranate as pom-grenade

      • Mojeaux

        I grew up reading A LOT and never hearing words I read and understood. I thought misled was “MY zeld” for a long time, and “Tucson” was “TUCK sun”.

        My dad had a friend like that. Widely read, but never hearing the words. My dad’s favorite gaffe was “swayve and di BON er”.

      • PieInTheSky

        suave and debonair I presume

      • Mojeaux

        Yes. I don’t think my dad ever corrected him.

        My husband says subsequent “sub SEE quent” and I corrected him once, but he didn’t change and I didn’t correct him again. Then I started noticing that other people say it that way too.

        I pronounce fizzy drinks “pop” and he pronounces it “soda,” which is so wrong.

      • PieInTheSky

        I pronounce fizzy drinks răcoritoare myself.

      • Mojeaux

        Also wrong. It’s “pop”.

      • Animal

        “Pop” is correct. A “soda” is a thing in a tall glass with root beer, ice cream, whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top.

      • UnCivilServant

        Pop is a quick punch, typically to the face.

        Soda is the drink.

      • CPRM

        It’s Soda Pop, I have proof!

      • Rat on a train

        Where does Corn Pop fit in?

      • R C Dean

        I thought misled was “MY zeld” for a long time

        I thought it was “mizzled”.

      • TARDis

        I made the mistake of mispronouncing impotent wrong in HS literature class. Almost all the girls giggled. I felt a little… ya know.

        We watched a lot of westerns in Italy on our TV that only displayed B&W because of the conversion hardware. The Italians were still enamored with the mythical American West at that time. They pronounced Tucson as Tewk-Sahn IIRC.

      • Nephilium

        When I was a younger lad, I believed there was a city named Erie Pa, as that’s what the freeway signs said. There should have been a comma, or at least a period after Pa if they weren’t going postal abbreviations. For the past 15 (or so years) as they’ve replaced the signs, they now say Erie PA.

      • CPRM

        It’s Eerie Indiana, dipshit.

    • Chipwooder

      Here’s one – is homage the Frenchy-sounding OH-maj or the one-syllable homaj?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        French ain’t my fortay.

      • Mojeaux

        I pronounce it “oh-MAAJZ”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now I’m picturing a romance novel character named Maajz.

      • Chipwooder

        The interesting thing I’ve noted about that – if someone is saying “paid homage”, they tend to say homaj. If they’re saying “it’s an homage”, they say oh-maj.

        Not sure what that means, but I’ve found it interesting.

      • CPRM

        It is Oh-maj. Math is singular, and words with a hard H sound are ‘a’ not ‘an’. It’s not ‘an Historic event’, it’s ‘A Historic event’. fucking monsters!

      • Rat on a train

        It is “a herstoric event”, shitlord.

    • Chipwooder

      Oh I almost forgot one of my favorite pronunciation disputes, a constant argument in my house. I pronounce syrup like seerup and my wife constantly mocks me and says suhrup. The boy takes my side and the girl takes mom’s side.

      • creech

        In Philly, it’s “surp.”

      • CPRM

        You all wrong, it’s pronounced ‘diabeetus’

      • Pope Jimbo

        Sorry Chip, but you are wrong.

    • juris imprudent

      Given how the English pronounce Worcestershire – they are in no position to talk.

  64. kinnath

    Amazon just dropped off a new 75 inch TV.

    And the sun just came out. Retail therapy for the win!

    • PieInTheSky

      what is he carbon footprint on that thing?

      • kinnath

        uh, 6 ft long by 2 inches wide.

      • R C Dean

        Doubtful, since TVs are measured diagonally.

        Oh, and DAMMIT!

      • kinnath

        footprint.

        take it out of the box and look down on it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        About 75 inches

      • R C Dean

        75 inches?

      • CPRM

        he carbon footprint

        Talk about misgendering.

  65. Gustave Lytton

    Re: staff pictures as kids. The LAS is right, but for the wrong reasons.

    • juris imprudent

      Loads of British understatement there. This would be a national panic here.

      • TARDis

        Not if it was a Republican.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Unless the Congress critter was murdered in a foreign country or shot down by the Ruskies. Then NBD.

    • Tundra

      What?!?

      *reads article*

      Oh, wrong Parliament.

      Whew!

    • CPRM

      Like there was a panic when the Republican baseball team was attacked? I bet 99% of America doesn’t even remember that.

      • EvilSheldon

        The final, irrefutable proof of the GOP’s essential worthlessness, is that not a single one of the Republican congressmen pulled out his own heat and clipped that little bitch.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Next you’ll suggest carrying when mowing the lawn in your own yard…

      • EvilSheldon

        I suggest carrying whenever you’re wearing pants.

        Most bottoms-optional events are probably not appropriate for carrying weapons, if only for the problems in securing your, err, ‘weapon…’

    • db

      Yikes.

      Out of curiosity I checked on the number of MPs in the UK: 650. At the current population of about 68 million, that makes about 105,000 constituents per MP. In the US it’s over 613,000 constituents per member of Congress.

      Interesting.

      • db

        If you consider the House of Lords as well, which outweighs the House of Commons 788 to 650, it’s around 47,000:1

      • UnCivilServant

        Lords don’t represent constituents.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Correct. They represent the parties, civil service, and celebrities. Basically the house of the deep state now.

      • db

        And, how appropriate that they outnumber the Commons

      • db

        That’s kind of why I said “if you consider the House of Lords as well”

  66. Animal

    Two inches of snow this morning. Go, Alaska!

    • juris imprudent

      Last morning I’ll be able to walk the dog while I’m wearing a t-shirt here. It’s been a very mild fall so far.

      • Animal

        It actually has been here too. Last year at this time we already had snow on the ground. This is the first snow that was more than a dusting, and it should melt by Saturday; supposed to be a bright sunny day in the mid-thirties.

      • Tundra

        35 when I got up this morning. But it looks like high-60s low-70s for the weekend!

        Never saw the snow that was predicted.

      • CPRM

        It was 35 when I left work this morning, thankfully no fog, which we’ve had way too much of recently.

  67. Animal

    Liberal Arts Student: That is NOT acceptable. Many of us had different gender identifications then and do NOT want to be associated with that. This is non-inclusive and problematic!

    Animal: Oh, shut up, you self-absorbed, entitled, soft-shelled little twat.

    This is why I don’t interact much with the general public.

    • EvilSheldon

      ES: *Gallic shrug* It’s acceptable to me, and I’m the one who counts.

      • CPRM

        Is it pronounced Gay-Lick or Gah-Lick…Seltik or Keltic…Tomato or Clamato?

      • kinnath

        derived from the greek keltoi . . . .

      • juris imprudent

        The Romans may have fucked with the Gauls, but not the Gaels.

      • juris imprudent

        Acceptable according to whom my dear?

      • R C Dean

        “Well, this is a democracy. You like democracy, right? One man, one vote and all that.

        I’m the man, and I have the vote. My vote is, its perfectly acceptable.”

  68. db

    I don’t know if I can take Subaru Horror Theater…