I found a program that makes making these much easier and TPTB are begging for content so I thought I’d try to make this a weekly feature, it will also motivate me to read a book a week, a goal I set years ago but rarely keep. This being the case I guess I will try and explain the puzzles a bit so some of the dimmer Glibs *cough Sloper cough* can maybe give it a try if they want. Today I’ll explain the clues that reference other clues,  The clue C, para ejemplo, is “What people into “I” rarely are” The “I” in there isn’t a ‘me’ or ‘ego’ thing it is a stand in for the word that is the answer to clue “I” of the puzzle. Thus if the answer to “I” was “skiing” ( it’s not ) then clue C would be “What people into skiing rarely are” and Cue E would be “One who is into Skiing” and Clue O would be “What people who are into skiing are”. Get it? Good. Once again this is for entertainment only, please No Gambling.

Lastly, Mojo was complaining that the puzzle isn’t interactive, the program I use does have a solve feature but you’d have to install the program and then I’d have to send you the file, and I’m not sure but it seems like you have to load the puzzle first (thus seeing the solution) before you can use the solve option which seems backassward, thus for now you’ll just have to print them out or do them in your head.

Solution

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

147 Comments

  1. pistoffnick the refusnik

    No Gambling

    YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

    • Nephilium

      So… Gamboling is permitted?

      • UnCivilServant

        Depends on the state.

        Some restrictions will be applied, peasant.

      • Animal

        Only in conjunction with capering.

    • MikeS

      10 bucks says he is.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        NO GAMBLING!

  2. Sean

    H=Own

    • Gender Traitor

      No spoilers!

      • Sean

        I’m participating.

      • UnCivilServant

        You don’t get trophies for that.

      • Sean

        I’ll accept a ribbon.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        You’re supposed to say “cash.”

      • UnCivilServant

        He knows I don’t have money.

  3. DEG

    I’m not going to do this as I’ve got to work, but after reading the clues I was intrigued. I looked at the solution and had a chuckle. Nice!

    • The Hyperbole

      Glad you like it.

  4. Translucent Chum

    Assuming I is Firsting. Only thing I looke at. Sorry if it’s wrong or a spoiler or whatever. Off to meetings.

      • Pine_Tree

        Of course not. See, they weren’t specifically trained that they should NOT do that, so how can you try to hold them those selfless public servants to an expectation that they should know not to do that? Eh?

        The right thing to do is to spend the next few years developing a program on the right way to return contaminated fuel to somebody, so that the next time it happens, we can all be assured that it’s fine because the followed the policy.

    • Drake

      Be a shame if somebody mistakenly put some maple syrup in the gas tanks of police cars.

    • Drake

      Leftist Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau faced jeers and insults in Parliament on Tuesday as he once again faced questions regarding his derision towards citizens who oppose civil rights violations tied to the Chinese coronavirus pandemic.

      Imagine Joe Biden having to debate in Parliament. Trump would have loved it, but old Joe would be lost. (So would a lot of our other ancient Senators like Feinstein).

      • Urthona

        I enjoyed that.

    • DEG

      I think this is fake news. I think no judge has ordered the fuel returned.

      I still have yet to find a news article about a judge in Canada ordering the police to return the confiscated fuel. It would be something Rebel News would be all over, and I don’t see it on their site. I also don’t see any police returning fuel in the linked video. I see fuel coming out of a trailer pulled by a pick-up truck that has no police markings on it.

      • R.J.

        Agreed. Seems like a psyop to make truckers think twice about accepting fuel from unknown sources.

  5. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Illinois ending its mask mandate Feb. 28. The primaries are June 28. I’m sure they’re following the science.
    4 months to tell people that the mandates worked and you need to thank and vote for the people who set you free from Covid and masks.
    Sadly, i think this will work.

    • Tundra

      I don’t. This is too big and has hurt too many people. If only a subsection of the population was affected, then sure. Easy to sweep it under the rug.

      There is a lot of rage coming from a lot of normies.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Forget it Tundra. It’s Chi-town.

        And by following the science, I mean following the political science of maintaining control .

      • Tundra

        If you mean that rampant and blatant cheating will make any rebellion moot, then I agree with you.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I don’t know. But I do know that several of the guys I used to work with in Chicago are down with the vax passports and other BS.

        When Mpls started their vax passports, I denounced it in an email chain and got a couple “oh you’re one of those assholes who is complaining”.

        Hopefully downstate IL folks are better than the Chicago people.

      • Urthona

        I have several friends from NYC when I lived there who like them. And called the vaccinate mandate protestors “anti-vaxxers”.

        When I pointed out several reasons for why there should be no vaccine mandates even for hard-core statists as the science has been demolished, they were completely unaware. They are not heavy consumers of news, though. They mostly go with public sentiment.

      • UnCivilServant

        They burned their credibility years ago.

      • ron73440

        Is there any mainstream organization or company that hasn’t beclowned themselves in the last 2 years?

      • Tundra

        Barstool Sports?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not that I’m aware of.

      • Bones

        We are. There are the college towns, but even some of those are pretty normal. The problem is they still have the numbers (and the system rigged).

      • R C Dean

        “oh you’re one of those assholes who is complaining.”

        “Yup. And you’re one of the morons who support this. I can stop being an asshole any time I want. I wonder if you can stop being a moron, but you should probably try.”

      • Certified Public Asshat

        The question is do they realize it is actually higher than 7.5% and that their 3% annual wage increase doesn’t do anything? Should be obvious, but I do see lots of dumb financial decisions.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Um, imagine that before this statement I was talking about mandates and inflation together.

      • Tundra

        The Fed just fired up the printer again. There is no way on God’s green earth that they can hide the inflation for four months.

    • Pine_Tree

      The blue states are scrambling like this, but I bet these efforts to save their own asses will be counteracted by the Ds in DC. They’d be smarter to follow suit, but I bet they’re going to pull out the same playbook from last summer and drive even MORE Covid hype and MORE free money, ’cause they don’t know how to do anything else.

    • Grumbletarian

      You might be underestimating their ability to fortify elections.

    • Tulip

      My jaw dropped. “Damn those people for wanting to be evacuated and screwing up my plan”

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Let me guess. The allies that were to be evacuated first knew to get 10% to the big guy. With the minimum of course.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why was an admiral in charge? I ain’t too good at geography, but I don’t think there were many boats used in the evacuation.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Probably associated with SOCOM since we had stood down most of the other units…or maybe NECC (Navy Expeditionary Combat Command).

      • Rebel Scum

        The desert is a sea of sand. ///imagination

      • Tundra

        Fucking love that song.

      • DEG

        It’s a great song.

        Have more America.

      • Tundra

        Wonderful.

        Another.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Afghanistan was once an ancient sea bed, and you know how those bureaucracies never go away. Kind of like NATO.

    • Rebel Scum

      The evacuation should have been a withdrawal, the one set up by the prior administration…But the Brandon admin thought it necessary to violate whatever agreement we had with the Taliban and the Afghan government.

      • ron73440

        Would it have gone badly if they had followed the original plan?

        Maybe, but the “Have to do things differently from Trump” crowd owned the disaster as soon as Biden changed the timeline.

      • Compelled Speechless

        They thought they’d be able to take the “credit” and put more thought into putting it on a symbolic date than how to actually go through with it.

    • Urthona

      The Brits and Americans really seem to want war with Russia.

      An no one else.

      • PieInTheSky

        should have nuked em in 45

      • Rebel Scum

        We should go to war with Britain again, for old times sake.

      • robc

        We could make them a colony.

      • Rebel Scum

        The irony.

        Then we can liberate Canada.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Canada is far more likely to liberate itself than we are at this point.

    • Rebel Scum

      He said talking to her was ‘like talking to a deaf person’ & said what Russia does in its own territory is ‘not her business.’

      Women like to talk, not listen. And they always have their noses in other people’s business.

  6. LCDR_Fish

    Sean

    Seen this morning on my way to work:

    Tractor trailer flying a big American Flag on the back, and “Resistance to tyranny & obedience to God” lettered on it.

    Dude (I assume) got a *honk honk* as I passed him.

    Like my Chesterton bumper sticker….that I never got around to actually sticking on my car:

    “Break the conventions, keep the commandments.”

    • Tundra

      That was on Ben Franklin’s original design for the Great Seal.

      Would have been more badass than the commie slogan we ended up with.

    • limey

      Geeee kaaayyy Chesterton *rocket wooshes overhead*

      /old Babylon Bee podcast reference

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, sadly they got rid of that guy. Seemed to be quite a surprise to him as well.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        When did that happen? Any backstory to it? He was my favorite.

      • Lackadaisical

        Almost a month ago I think.

        I couldn’t figure out any reason why, according to him, they didn’t give him a reason.

        I used to religiously watch their weekly news segment. Tried the first one without him and it was… Not as good.

  7. Rebel Scum

    It’s a mystery.

    Who planted the pipe bombs found on January 6? Thirteen months later, and the FBI still has no idea.

    • UnCivilServant

      Here’s a hint, they’re a few cubes over.

    • DEG

      It’s coming from inside the house.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      At this point, just assume nefarious dealings on the part of the FBI.

    • rhywun

      “All we have to go on is video of a man wearing khakis and sunglasses in the area.”

    • Urthona

      He must be a fucking genius to evade the FBI. But not have his bomb go off.

      • UnCivilServant

        There are three ways to evade the FBI – be a connected politician, be a member of the FBI, commit a crime they didn’t incite.

    • limey

      Wilson Fisk had Bullseye do it?

      • Nephilium

        But Bullseye doesn’t miss.

      • limey

        ?

        Good point.

  8. Sean
    • UnCivilServant

      hell, even the state would replace that chair, and they hate giving peons replacement furnature.

      /remembers taped-up desk chair.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *hurk*

    • limey

      Blarg.

      I’ve just got to thinking about re-upholstering my computer chair since one of the armrests is scuffed. This means it won’t actually happen for at least another three years. It’s a good chair so it should last longer than that. Will take colour/fabric suggestions.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      ?

    • Pine_Tree

      They will always love her.

    • Compelled Speechless

      What a generous endowment. She’s so nurturing with her ample assets.

      • ron73440

        I think that program will fill out nicely and really round into form.

    • Tres Cool

      I suspect that program is already top-heavy with expenditures.

  9. Certified Public Asshat

    Dave Smith back on Rogan today.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Nice. Maybe he can explain to Joe why he needs to stop making groveling apology videos. Here’s a hint Joe, the things they say they want you gone for and the real reasons they want you gone are not correlated in any way. The only difference that apologizing will make is that it will make the grievance mongers think their winning.

      • Rebel Scum

        Apologizing assumes guilt and, therefore, their premise. Don’t assume their premise.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Joe’s charitable good faith towards other’s intentions is part of why he’s so likeable. It’s also what’s going to get him Ned Stark’d.

      • Tundra

        He called it a hit-job yesterday. I think he’s gotten a nice lesson about the futility of playing nice.

      • ron73440

        According to Spotify, Joe was the one who took down the “controversial” episodes.

      • Tundra

        It wouldn’t surprise me. I think he honestly thought it was the right gesture.

        He learned otherwise.

      • ron73440

        I hope so, but am constantly reminded that most people don’t have firm principles.

  10. J. Frank Parnell

    The “I” in there isn’t a ‘me’ or ‘ego’ thing it is a stand in for the word that is the answer to clue “I” of the puzzle.

    I probably should have read that first, before writing “egoists” in pen for “O”, but whatever, I solved the whole thing eventually.

  11. Sensei

    MSM working the playbook.

    Crain Detroit Business – “Commentary: Growing disruption caused by border blockade requires action”

    ‘I just don’t feel safe’: Ottawa residents describe fears amid trucker protest as Canada’s far right comes into focus
    “I just wish that the authorities would do something to stop this hate,” Justin Romanov, 26, told NBC News.”

    • Rebel Scum

      The Romanovs never catch a break.

    • R C Dean

      NPCs, parrotting the official line.

    • ron73440

      “I just wish that the authorities would do something to stop this hate,”

      If they let people live their lives, wouldn’t that stop the “hate”.

      Why do I think she wouldn’t go for that?

      Once again, what hate?!?

      I hate COVID parakeets, and this is another mutation of that.

      • Sensei

        It’s the the new way to shut down anyone the left disagrees with.

      • ron73440

        There is too much brainless repetition:

        “The science has changed.”

        “The parties switched.”

        “Systemic Racism!”

        And that’s just talking to my mom.

      • Fatty Bolger

        That last line made me laugh.

    • Mojeaux

      Our neighbors are out-freedoming us.

      • Sensei

        Yeah, now that they have put the fear of God into prescribers and pharmacists I’m sure they will quickly change.

      • EvilSheldon

        They haven’t so far, and I’ve been keeping track of this subject for a while. Too much gringo money coming in.

      • ron73440

        It only took them 6 years.

        “There was nothing wrong with the original guidelines,” said Fugh-Berman, a paid expert witness for plaintiffs in cases targeting pharmaceutical marketing practices.

        Why would they interview this weasel?

  12. Sensei

    I’m also enjoying this. Hertz is trying to keep all these claims as prepetition so as to pay little or nothing. People have been arrested and jailed and others have their rental repossessed and thought the car stolen. Naturally Hertz was both adversarial and/or unhelpful.

    Hertz Customers Who Claim They Were Falsely Arrested Score Win in Court

    Hertz Corp., battling hundreds of customers who say they were falsely arrested for auto theft after renting cars, was ordered by a federal judge to disclose how many renters it accuses every year.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      Hertz has never gotten a penny from me after they refused to rent 3 vans to 21-year-old me.

      • UnCivilServant

        They did you a favor.

        If you’d been allowed to rent from them, you’d have been arrested for auto theft.

    • EvilSheldon

      Y’all know that y’all sound like white folk in 1954 Mississippi, right?

      • ron73440

        It’s the same impulse, have to keep them away from us.

      • Tundra

        Requires self-awareness.

        They don’t think, they repeat.

    • rhywun

      *recalls Occupy Wall Street across from my place of work, and the media cheering it on the whole time*

    • Penguin

      “It looks more like a tailgate party [than parliament].”

      Damn, she must have been to some lame tailgate parties in her time.

      • Penguin

        Note – she was on a street that looked nearly empty, with only some heavy trucks around her.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Using their definition of “mostly peaceful”, I can only assume they describe these protests as “mostly violent”.

  13. Sean
    • Mojeaux

      “Workers of the world unite.”

      I don’t think this is how they meant it to go.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Godspeed, guys. Wish I could offer more than a song.

      Keep on truckin’

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Figured Trudy wasn’t going to concede.

      I don’t think this is going to turn out the way he thinks it will.

      • UnCivilServant

        In which way?

        A: For every one that falls, a hundred more will take his place

        B: The RCMP is repulsed and Trudy gets caught by the people

        C: The RCMP defects to the protest.

  14. Ghostpatzer

    Hype, this was a tough one. Thanks for the shout-out in “A’ (I’ll be the nary). And the clues – at least half of them would be incomprehensible to a non-glib. Except for the repeat appearance of a cetacean.

    • Sean

      🙂

    • rhywun

      I’d pay to watch Strawberry stumble up to the podium to deny that one.

    • Ghostpatzer

      LOL.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Der Kommisar has spoken.

    • UnCivilServant

      Block every road in and out of the city and keep creeping the trucks forward towards the center.

  15. Sean

    I fucking hate QuickBooks online.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I heard he got them from Oprah.

    • UnCivilServant

      The Yellow and Black Market

  16. R C Dean

    I found a program that makes making these much easier

    Well, for you, anyway.