1520 Main – Chapter 1

by | Oct 7, 2022 | Fiction, Prohibition | 172 comments

Prologue


PART I
SPEAKING IN TONGUES


1

“MARINA,” DOT SAID LOW as they turned away from the two men who were looking at the drugstore that the girls were about to enter, “make like you didn’t see them.”

Marina glanced at Dot, confused. “They weren’t looking at us.”

“Yes they were,” Dot said firmly, grasping her arm and directing her into the entryway, then through the door, then to their usual booth. “You can’t pay them any mind or they’ll take it as an invitation.”

“Them who? Do you know them? An invitation to what?”

Dot sighed heavily and picked up the menu. “Men. Grown men. No, I don’t know them. But you can’t give any man any reason to think you want their attention.”

“Doesn’t your mother tell you anything?

Marina flushed and looked down at her menu.

“Mm hmm. Why doesn’t your father let you wear dresses?”

Marina sighed and recited Father’s oft-given sermon on the virtues of women in trousers. “So we won’t be a temptation to men and to guard us against roaming hands and to remind us that we’re women of God.”

“Yes. Those men wanted to let their hands roam on us.”

“On you,” Marina muttered, trying not to be resentful. Dot was beautiful. Marina was not.

“The old guy, well … You got me there. He wasn’t interested in us. But the blond was,” she insisted. “In you.”

“Oh, now you’re just being silly,” Marina pooh-poohed, knowing she could safely dismiss everything Dot had just said.

Dot didn’t argue anymore. She mused over the menu until the waitress came by. “You gals want anything but your usuals?”

Marina suggested she and Dot split an order of onion rings to go with her catawba flip and Dot’s cherry lime phosphate. While they waited, they were approached by several boys in succession who gave Marina a scant hello then moved on to flirting with Dot, who flirted right back but without giving them any reason to think she wanted the attention.

Marina didn’t know how she did it, flirting without seeming to flirt at all, keeping a number of boys on her leash, making them work for her attention, and doing her bidding just for the chance to buy her a phosphate, be invited to one of her church’s dances, or escort her to a moving picture show. It was one reason Marina’s mother had never liked Dot, even though Dot was smart about such things. Another reason was that she was a devil-worshipping Mormon. To appease Mother and allow her to keep company with Marina, Dot’s mother had assented to allow Dot to attend Marina’s church on Wednesdays even though Marina’s parents would never allow her to reciprocate.

In spite of Marina’s parents’ feelings, Marina was allowed to run with Dot because God told Father it was Marina’s duty to convert Dot to the true word of God and to save her soul.

No matter how much Marina loved Dot, though, it was depressing watching boys fawn over her but never give Marina anything but a polite smile, if they noticed her at all. Dot accepted the attention as if it were her due, but since neither girl was allowed out alone with a boy, if a boy wanted to spend a Saturday afternoon with Dot, he had to have a friend who would be willing to squire Marina. If the friend didn’t pay enough attention to Marina, Dot punished both boys by never speaking to them again.

Marina hated being a pity date.

After Dot had spent an appropriate amount of time flirting, she shooed them all away with a laugh. “We have to study, boys,” she cooed. “We’ll catch up tomorrow, same time, same place.”

Dot gave Marina a wink as they opened their schoolbooks. They began with a math problem Marina had been having difficulty with in class, but in one sentence, Dot’s explanations had left Marina in the dust. Dot didn’t notice. Their sodas and onion rings came, but Marina was now hopelessly lost. “Dot, I’m more confused now than I was in class today!” she finally wailed.

“Maybe I can help,” came a deep voice from above them. They both jumped and, to Marina’s shock, it was the blond young man from outside—and he wasn’t staring longingly at Dot.

“Um … ” Marina began warily, even as Dot harrumphed. He ignored her.

“Your friend … ?” He then lifted an eyebrow at Dot.

Her mouth compressed, and she pointedly refused to give her name. He turned back to Marina. “She loves math too much to teach it well, which I do not mean as an insult.”

You probably can’t add two and two,” Dot said caustically.

“Dot!” Marina gasped. Embarrassed by her friend’s behavior, she scooted to her left to allow the stranger to sit beside her. “I am so sorry. Dot’s never rude,” she said, glaring at her. Dot cocked her eyebrow at her, unrepentant. “My name’s Marina. Scarritt,” she added, turning back to the man.

“Trey,” he said affably, casting a vague smile at Dot, the kind of smiles boys usually threw at Marina. “Trey Dunham.”

“This is Dot Albright,” she said.

Dorothy Albright,” she said pointedly. “Miss Albright to you.”

Marina wanted to demand Dot account for her bad behavior, but now was not the time. “Dot’s really smart and I’m … really not.”

“Everybody’s smart in their own way,” he said matter-of-factly, then told the suddenly attentive waitress he wanted a lime rickey. “Thank you. And the table’s on me.”

“We can pay for our own food,” Dot said smartly. “We do it every day.”

“Dot!” Marina snapped again.

“I’m sure you can and do, Miss Albright,” he said politely. “It would be my pleasure if, for today, you’d allow me.”

She huffed. “Ugh. All right.”

“I’m not sure what I did to offend you, miss,” Mr. Dunham murmured earnestly, “but I apologize.”

“It’s not what you did,” she said smartly. “It’s what you might do.”

His eyebrow rose. “I … might ask your friend to have a phosphate with me tomorrow.” Marina gulped down her shocked gasp. “If that’s okay with you.” There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He was earnest. He really wanted Dot’s approval.

“Hrmph. We always have phosphates together.”

He inclined his head. “I understand. I’m sure you can find a boy to round out the table.”

Dot was clearly stymied. He wasn’t making fun of her. He was taking her seriously. He understood that Dot was trying to protect Marina. Most importantly, he wasn’t giving up.

“All right,” Dot said imperiously. “Let’s see your math.”

Trey gestured for Dot’s pencil. “May I?”

She flipped it at him, but he caught it deftly, then turned to Marina. “The formula is A squared plus B squared equals C squared,” he began. “These are the numbers you already know.” He drew arrows from the numbers in the problem to the letters. There was one letter not matched up. “You have to find this number.”

Marina scowled at the paper. “That’s all?”

Dot started.

“Yes. You just plug in the numbers where they go like a switchboard operator. Whatever you do to one side, you have to do to the other until there’s only one letter and one number. That’s the answer to the problem.”

“Well, that seems simple enough,” she said, totally bemused, taking the pencil. It wasn’t that simple, but she managed to get farther into the problem than she had before. “Now I don’t know what to do.”

“You rearrange them until the letter, which is the number you don’t know, is the only thing left on one side of the equal sign and only one number on the other side. Think of it like rearranging furniture.”

He demonstrated all the steps he had to take to make one number equal one letter.

And the light came on.

1


If you don’t want to wait 2 years to get to the end, you can buy it here.

About The Author

Mojeaux

Mojeaux

Aspiring odalisque.

172 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    “My name’s Marina. Scarritt,” she added, turning back to the man.

    Scarritt, as in what she’s going to do to the man’s cod?

  2. MikeS

    Those men wanted to let their hands roam on us.

    It happens.

  3. kinnath

    Still enjoying the story.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks! It was difficult trying to make 16yo girls halfway interesting.

      • MikeS

        So far so good!

  4. Fourscore

    Where was Trey when I was in high school but only to help me with the math

    No homo

  5. Fourscore

    So far, so good, Mojeaux. I can’t figure out where this going, it’s a mystery. Thanks

    • UnCivilServant

      Clearly they are time travellers come to change the future

    • Mojeaux

      Well, it’s easy. I write romance. The main male character and main female character always get together in the end. Of course, you have to get through a shit-ton of drama to get there, but yeah, that’s always how it ends.

      • Brochettaward

        The greatest of all dramas is a First-Off, but that is never done over something as trivial as romance. Accept one time recorded in Firster history. A moment that The Way Of The First was broken…

      • MikeS

        *unzips*

      • Aloysious

        I’m glad I’m not the first one that had that instinct spring up.

        Also, nice job Mo.

      • Ted S.

        Technically, not always. You could have had Dot and Marina become lesbian lovers.

        Or this twist in The Crying Game where Did was Forest Whitaker’s sled.

      • Mojeaux

        Pshaw. You so silly Ted’S.

  6. Sean

    I was told there would be no math.

    *unzips*

  7. juris imprudent

    Lovely conflict set up there – he wants her worldly treasure and she’s going to want to save his eternal soul.

    • Mojeaux

      Spoiler: She does not succeed.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh please. It’s much better my way.

      • Gender Traitor

        Moje, I know you say you’ve said all you want to say in your books, but I hope someday you get inspired to write at least one book to serve as a “bridge” between Dunham and this one.

      • Mojeaux

        You and my husband. I have something tickling, but it’s around the Civil War time and I really don’t want to get into the Civil War because I find it utterly loathsome to study and I hate research in the first place.

        But. If you take out Farmer Boy and re-read the chapter “Surprise,” you might get a clue what I’ve got cooking. 😉

      • Gender Traitor

        I could do that! And LH Books 4-6 arrived today, so I just have three to go to complete the acquisition of the entire series in hardback.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::rereads aforementioned chapter:: I always loved that one! 😁

        If I could have done that, I might have become a teacher after all.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, so you know a Dunham would do something like that. Heh.

  8. rhywun

    Well, you’ve got several of us unzipping already so that must be good. 👍

  9. rhywun

    The media found a sermon (still on the church’s website) that was preached by one of their pastors in 2013 which expressed a strong view about the moral status of abortion, and another which expressed a similarly strong view concerning homosexuality.

    Imagine your job is to scour the internet looking for wrongthink you can use to punish your enemies.

    • UnCivilServant

      A church preaching classical doctrine? I am shock.

    • Gender Traitor

      Sadly, I suspect plenty of folks are lining up to volunteer for that “job” and do it free fer nuthin’.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      traditional Christian views hardly depicts a ‘tolerant’ and ‘inclusive’ society.

      There’s a strong argument to be made that this society is as tolerant as it is because of Christian views

      • MikeS

        Then make the argument.

      • rhywun

        I’m no Christianity expert but I don’t see that this is this any different from the Soviets or commies punishing it because they felt threatened by it.

  10. UnCivilServant

    Off topic, I’m watching the Rekieta stream of the trail of the guy who ran down the christmas parade. The guy has opted to defend himself and clearly thinks he is sooo much smarter than everyone else, but is patently transparent and insufferable. He really should plead now before the jury has to suffer through him, or they’ll rule he needs to be run over by a red SUV.

    • Gender Traitor

      Something something is his own lawyer something something fool for a client…

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s objecting to answers, and to being overruled.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Do you see that big book over there?”
        “I do not”
        *camera switches to defendant’s table, with book in foreground two feet from his elbow.*
        *defendant deliberately does not look away from judge and argues nothing was provided to him*
        *judge removes defendant to other courtroom to participate remotely*

      • UnCivilServant

        *defendant rambles off psuedolegal sounding sentences that mean nothing and have no effect as giant baliff approaches*

      • Gender Traitor

        Maybe he’s trying to be found not guilty by reason of insanity without actually pleading that way?

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s already been found competent to both stand trial and to defend himself, so it’s off the table.

      • Chafed

        You are sort of right. I have had clients who tried to fake mental illness. When it didn’t work, they relieved me as their attorney to represent themselves. The idiocy UCS described is part of the strategy. They think it’s either proof they are nuts or it’s a basis for a successful appeal. It never works.

      • Gender Traitor

        Is he wearing a bracelet that says “WWPMD?”*

        *”What Would Perry Mason Do?”

      • UnCivilServant

        Not unless that’s what’s tattooed around his forearm.

        More than half the stream has been him arguing with the judge. She has more patience than I do.

      • MikeS

        She has more patience than I do.

        Well, you have watched it all.

  11. Gender Traitor

    I’m having a little fun with Little Black Cat this evening. I got a couple of books delivered from B&N today, and the box had a sheet of fat bubble wrap in it. I’ve put this shallow box on the floor to see if LBC will climb in…but I left the bubble wrap on the bottom….😏🐱‍👤

    • Gender Traitor

      …and of course, he’d rather jump up on my lap and headbutt me in the nose.

  12. Festus

    Oh. You watched me trying my best with the Lobb girls circa 1979. Jehovas Witnesses they were. Pretty as the first dust of snow on the evergreens. Your protagonist is sure to fare better!

    • Mojeaux

      Oh, he will. 😉

    • Gender Traitor

      How are you feeling this evening, Fes?

    • Brochettaward

      The fallen Firster and the Anti-Firster gather against me. The multitudes of seconders are moving, but I move faster.

      • MikeS

        I First bigger shits than you for breakfast.

  13. groat scotum

    I’m 36 tonight!

    I’m celebrating by weirding out here tonight!

    It’s not that all the other venues turned down my invitation to celebrate my birthday, it’s that I couldn’t stand not having my birthday here, at this venue, here, tonight.

    • groat scotum

      As the 36gthst year old, I feel like I should recognize the late Elizabeth the once-time-36thg year old. She was, once upon a time, as recognizable as am I. And I so I recognize Elizabeth.

      • groat scotum

        Now that that’s out of the way, I want to recognize some other orders of business

        I am so far behind on the sugarfree stories, and someone needs to collate all them for me since I lost track. Thank you. Please start wednesday of 2021.

      • UnCivilServant

        set LABOR_ENACTMENT=false;
        return $LABOR_ENACTMENT;

      • groat scotum

        Not very birthday like, NEXT

      • UnCivilServant

        catch cake_on_fire_exception(exec ignite_cake());
        onexception(apply_extinquisher());

    • Mojeaux

      Well, happy birthday!!!

      • slumbrew

        Happy birthday indeed, young man

    • MikeS

      Happy birthday, kid!

    • Aloysious

      Hapy Birthday.

      To celebate, I will be the First to cut out and consume the exact center of your cake.

      • UnCivilServant

        You are not permitted to damage portions of the cake you are not eating. The exact center is measured from all faces of the cake.

      • UnCivilServant

        Also note, do not eat the cake if cake is on fire

      • MikeS

        You have so many rules!

      • UnCivilServant

        Friend Computer only seeks what is best for Friend Citizen. Notice, failure to follow the rules is treason. Do not be a Commie Mutant Traitor.

    • Tundra

      Happy birthday, kid!

      • MikeS

        Since I am the Greatest Firster, I already said that.

      • Tundra

        Don’t make me pull my support.

        Could tip the Firsting battle. I have that much power.

      • Chafed

        Totally not a euphemism.

      • Tundra

        Scroll down. I think we now have bigger problems.

      • MikeS

        🧐

      • Tundra

        I love this place.

    • Chafed

      Happy Birthday CS!

    • slumbrew

      Ah, cool. I may need to watch that.

      I saw it in the theater when it came out – the usher handing out a glossary sheet as you entered the theater was a tip-off that it was not going to be a great experience.

      I had read the book multiple times by that point and was still confused by the movie.

      • groat scotum

        The Sting version or the Nolan one??

  14. groat scotum

    This has been making the rounds lately. I find it pretty convincing. No, we’re not (necessarily) any nearer nuclear war than we need to be. Turns out the rooskies are (probably) just incompetent idiots, rather than the Biden regime being any more incompetent and/or malicious than we figure them.

    • groat scotum

      I had a very happy couple of conversations trying to explain this shit to people.

      I had a miserable outing throwing axes with my colleagues at work.

      I can’t throw to save my life. Not in front of anyone else, anyway.

      But I enjoyed trying to explain the shit I read about methane hydrates plugging up undersea pipelines.

      • Aloysious

        I want to throw axes at my colleagues at work as well.

    • slumbrew

      Those were very interesting write-ups.

      “Cock-up over conspiracy. But don’t rule out conspiracy. “

    • rhywun

      No, we’re not (necessarily) any nearer nuclear war than we need to be.

      Except both sides are accusing the other of blowing it up.

  15. groat scotum

    Jameson is a terrific sipping whiskey.

    • MikeS

      That’s a damn fine idea, birthday boy. I’ll join you.

      Prost!

    • Raven Nation

      I prefer Tullamore Dew

      • dbleagle

        Hear hear. Tullamore Dew is fine for sipping.

  16. Tundra

    I read this book before it was cool.

    Thanks, Mo! I know you said you are done telling tales, but I don’t buy it. You are too good.

    And I still want to play Boss Tom in the movie!

    • Mojeaux

      I hesitate to say Boss Tom was awesome, but he did a lot of good for this town.

      • Tundra

        So I get the part?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes because you are awesome.

  17. UnCivilServant

    G’Night Glibs.

    Remember, Happiness is Mandatory.

    • Tundra

      Yes.

      Good night, UCS.

  18. groat scotum

    The Myst books, that was a hoot. I really liked those.

    I just finished Alfred Bester’s The Stars My Destination, and I’m pretty sure it’s commie propaganda. Didn’t care for it much.

    • groat scotum

      I think I liked it a lot better when I was a teenager because I was a teenager. I didn’t get all that much from it this time. It was shrugworthy.

      • Chafed

        That’s disappointing. JMS naming a character after him makes me want to read his work.

      • rhywun

        I remember liking that book but it’s been a looong time.

  19. MikeS

    I’m sleeping in Ambos Mundos,
    Two doors down from Hemingway’s room.
    I can’t write like Papa, I’m not able.
    But if the old man came back to Havana tonight,
    I’d drink him under the table.
    Ahhhh, the curse of the drinkin’ man,
    You don’t have the genius to back up your ways.

    • MikeS

      I never would’ve touched that little girl
      But the voices in my head.
      I thought she was just sleeping
      I didn’t know she was dead.
      Yeah, they washed me up and shaved my hair,
      Their gonna put me in Mr. Edison’s electric chair.

  20. groat scotum

    y;all remember following a chick outside to smoke, and taking a drag, your lips kinda kissing hers after she’d taken hers

    The sense that you might make off with her amplified by, well, you know, your shared

    You were terribly hesitant, couldn’t possibly

    Couldn’t, surely

    But then you follow her out, take the stick off her, put it to your lips

    Inhale, combust, delicious tobacco dust, you

    She’s heading back inside, you stub out

    at least the

    ember

    • MikeS

      *snap, snap snap*

    • groat scotum

      The point is, smoking is cool, and if you’re not smoking you should.

      • groat scotum

        I don’t want to smoke. Got not interest in it.

        But God a ciggy would be good right now.

      • groat scotum

        Never, you understand? Never ever wanted to smoke. I want a drag off a chick who just took hers. That’d be, well, heaven

      • Tundra

        I love walking by a smoker. So what?

      • groat scotum

        It’s lovely, isn’t it? A lovely bouquet. You don’t get it much anymore. A good inhalation of tobacco smoke. I miss it.

      • groat scotum

        I love walking by smokers. They’re holdouts of something I didn’t aspire to. They’re honorable in that regard. They’re the last of a dying breed.

      • MikeS

        Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
        Puff puff puff
        And if you smoke yourself to death
        Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
        That you hate to make him wait
        But you just gotta have another cigarette

      • MikeS

        She drives a 392 Scat Pack Dodge Charger
        Her momma got a tattoo that says “Free Sonny Barger”
        Her daddy did time for a deal gone bad
        Some women is as tough as rehab.

      • MikeS

        He’s the starving mans supper
        He’s the tired mans rest
        He’s the selfish mans possession
        The hopeless mans best bet
        He’s the quiet mans conversation
        He’s the cold mans blanket
        He’s the lonely mans companion
        Mr.Cigarette

      • groat scotum

        Mike. S. makes a lonely man feel awful.

      • MikeS

        Sorry, dude.

      • groat scotum

        we’re fascinated by/horrified by anything that doesn’t

        We love tobacco

        Alright, so it’s carcinogenic

        It’s tasty

        It’s lovely

  21. groat scotum

    fucking STILL ALIVE I am all that is alive.

    • groat scotum

      The thing is I have Jameson for days. Days and days and days.

      The other thing is nobody care.

      • Tundra

        You have a new name. Why?

      • MikeS

        The most likely answer is witness protection.

      • groat scotum

        A young lady would duck outside to smoke, and you’d wander out after her, because

        And that was your

        I don’t know, she took an

        I don’t know if interest is the right

        Look, you and she hit it off

        Well, now your

        Okay, well, now it’s a Peter May novel, so

      • groat scotum

        something something Entry Island.

        You’re Canadian. Sorry.

      • groat scotum

        I’m so, so sorry. Canadianism isn’t terminal, but it is infectuous. You should tell your other partners. Of whom there are many, gayby.

      • MikeS

        I ain’t Canadian (barely)

      • groat scotum

        LUCKY

  22. Tundra

    Y’all sent me down a rabbit hole.

    Dramarama in 2011.

    Great fucking band that I din’t appreciate enough back then.

    • Tundra

      *hides the ax*

      • groat scotum

        Even while you sleep we will find you acting on your best behavior.

  23. Festus

    There is a certain clerk at the jar store that I frequent that presents. Not that I’m complaining but this girl has a great one and she never misses a beat. I’ll be back!

    • groat scotum

      FESTUS! SO glad we almost made it.

      • groat scotum

        Say that you never ever ever ever need it.

      • Festus

        Chick is always reaching and bending. I’ll bet her co-workers are in on on the gig. Tip jar be hungry, Big Fella

      • groat scotum

        I can’t stand this indecision married with a lack of vision

        gUESS WHAT FESTUS!

        Everybody wants to rule the world

      • groat scotum

        Nothing ever lasts forever

      • Festus

        Even when you become old and crippled there is something to be said about a perfect female bum. It’s aesthetically pleasing, like a wonderful painting. Drooling old men in their hover-chairs applaud robotically.

    • Festus

      So many grey-beards. Lucille knows exactly what she is doing.

      • groat scotum

        Loose seal is dead. 🙁

      • groat scotum

        Alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone

      • groat scotum

        LOOSE SEAL LOOSE SEAL

        I DON’T CARE ABOUT LUCILLE

        And then a seal bit off his hand.

      • Festus

        Lady is about 40, just so you know that I’m not a creeper. Gym Bum.

      • groat scotum

        I hate being one-upped. Hat e hate hate. Good lord how do you even.

      • Tundra

        Nope.

      • Tundra

        Lonely. Likely.

        Alone. Never.

        The fuck, dude. What can I do?

      • groat scotum

        The fellowship is breaking. It’s already begun. You know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them all.

      • groat scotum

        You are a ring-bearer, Tundra. To bear a ring of power is to be alone. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find the way… no one will.

      • groat scotum

        He passed the test… and went into the west. And he will remain Tundra.

  24. groat scotum

    It’s only two in the morning for goodness sake, where are you bunch of corwards??

    • groat scotum

      The trick is, to quit sleeping so much, you stop going to sleep.

      • groat scotum

        The trick is between two in the morning and six, you don’t sleep. Also one AM or so. Also midnight. The fact is, you don’t sleep and it turns out, you don’t sleep.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Happy belated birthday, Spitty! 🎂 🥳 /backs away quietly

      Nobody remarked that it was Putin’s 70th? or did drugs fall out of my arse?

    • Sean

      I fell asleep after some drunken sex.

      Happy belated birthday. 🎂🎈🎉

  25. Toxteth O'Grady

    I have the loneliest insomnia of all. Quod erat (erit, really) demonstrandum.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m awake much earlier than I care to be. Might as well hot up some chai latte and listen to classical music.🎧🎶

  26. Sean

    Good mornin y’all.

  27. Sean

    Had to cover the pepper plants last night. Temps dipped into low 40s. Tonight is supposed to be worse. Fucking global warming.

    • Gender Traitor

      37 degrees in SW OH at the moment. No Tranquility Base this morning. 😞

      • Sean

        😞

      • Gender Traitor

        To make my cluttered little craft room more appealing, I found a small tea light candle and put it down in a heavy pink glass candle holder. I can look up at the glow from my platform rocker, and with any luck, the scent of the candle will mask the “fragrance” of the cats’ litter box. 😸

      • Gender Traitor

        Hey, you of all Glibs might know this – I just checked out TCM’s schedule and stumbled across a clip of Dennis Miller introducing “Now, Voyager” with Rita Wilson. I get the impression he hosts a regular feature, but I haven’t quite figured out when it’s on. I caught a “Friday 8 p.m.” reference, but don’t know if that’s his regular slot, since one of the movies he hosted is the one playing right now. Do you know when he’s usually on TCM?

        I think I’m the only person who really liked him on Monday Night Football. (I also liked Britannica.com’s “Annotated Dennis Miller” the following day.)

      • Ted S.

        That was a series of spots back in 2019. I don’t know why you just ran across one now.

      • Ted S.

        (I looked that up. I didn’t know it from memory.)

      • Gender Traitor

        Dang! 🙁 They probably just had a link to the clip with he & Rita talking about “Now, Voyager” because it happens to be on right now.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::looks back at TCM site:: Yeah, there was a link under “Photos & Videos” on the “Overview” page for the movie.

  28. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody yo

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey! Hey – meant to mention this a few days ago. I know you don’t have to take Jugsy to the airport so much any more, but did you know the construction on Philadelphia/Peters got done early, so the road’s open again?

      • Tres Cool

        Noted for the next time I have to head that way to see Tres Sr.
        I generally go up 48 to 70.