“No live politician can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even Senators and Secretaries are supposed, by some, to dream. Hillary House, not sane, stood by itself against its offices, holding darkness within; it had stood for seventy years and might stand for seventy more. Within, legs staggered upright, dicks fled quickly, arms were flab, and mouths were never shut; nagging rang steadily against the wood and stone of Hillary House, and whatever stalked the woods beyond it, stalked for a photo op alone.”
Huma woke when the screaming started–long, loud cries that shattered the quiet Chappaqua night and had almost faded away when she surfaced from a dream. She reached out for Hillary, but the bed beside her was empty; she felt along the rut Hillary had worn in the mattress and it was sticky and cold. Huma usually awoke when Hillary got out of bed and so she was confused, a three-part wrinkle forming between her eyebrows with effort. That area had been deadened with botulinus toxin less than a week earlier.
Huma got out of bed slipped a thin robe over her naked body, the cool silk of it teasing her nipples and thighs. She put her feet in slippers she kept by the bed, grimacing at the echoes of pain and pleasure that made her vulva blush with blood at the memory of Hillary’s wrinkled claw of a hand being working into her inch by inch, and the sharp squeeze she had given the neck of Huma’s womb when she was finally wrist-deep. It was the ache of childbirth she felt, her breasts heavy with the memory of milk.
“Hillary?” she asked the dark bedroom, “Are you alright?” Huma heard nothing but her own breath, the beat of her own heart. She fumbled for the bedside lamp and clicked it on. Nothing. The power must be out, she thought to herself, or the bulb is dead. Faint moonlight came in through the far window of the bedroom, a milky blue that her eyes adjusted to with effort. The closet door stood open, but the door to the hallway was closed.
“Hillary?” Huma asked again as she felt her way around the bed to the open closet. “Hillary?” she whispered into the deeper darkness of the closet. She reached for the string to turn on the light but it wasn’t there. She stopped moving and held her breath. Something was in the closet, but it was not her elderly lover. There was a creaking when it breathed in and out. It was huge. Bigger than the closet. Maybe bigger than the house. Huma knew it was something that shouldn’t be.
The wet iron smell of blood flooded over her as she backed across the bedroom to the door into the hallway. She reached behind her for the doorknob but her hand found only blank wall. She stared at the closet, afraid to turn away from it. It will come for me, she thought. It’s waiting for me to turn around. She slid along the wall, both hands reaching for the knob, ears straining for its familiar rattle. Why was the bedroom door closed? We never close it.
The closet door opened slowly, silently.
“أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم,” Huma whispered, the words coming to her lips for the first time since she let the Carlos the Jew enter her. She wanted to supplicate herself, to beg Allah for mercy, but she knew to go to her knees now would be death. The knob! she screamed in her mind, feeling its round coldness. Tearing her eyes away from the closet, she pulled the bedroom door open and darted into the hallway, slamming it closed behind her.
“HILLARY!” she screamed and then, in ultimate desperation, “BILL?” but no one answered.
Huma avoided the shadows as she ran downstairs, moving from blotches of moonlight that had pooled on the floor through the windows. The house was no longer a familiar place where she lived with her lover and her lover’s gelded husband. The plush carpet seemed to swallow her feet; furniture she had placed around the house jumped out of her, the house now a maze. Huma began to cry, tears welling in her dark eyes. She couldn’t find the front door. She couldn’t find anyone. The arched doorway into the kitchen loomed before her and she could be the door that led to the backyard through it. The door won’t work, she thought. The knob will come off in my hand. The glass will shatter in my face.
Something came down the stairs behind her with the sound of sharpening knives and breaking wood.
The back door opened when she tried it and she was outside in the night. Huma ran, slippers quiet on the stones of the patio, treacherous in the wet grass. She skidded to a halt when a dozen high-intensity lights came on with a sharp crack, her legs coming out from under her to dump her on the ground.
“Huma!” the voices called, “Huma! Huma!”
“Huma, do you have a comment?” one said over the rest.
“Huma, can I get your reaction?” said another. They all began to overlap to a gurgling roar. A cameraman fell forward on his knees to get with her face. Another followed him, pointing his camera down at her bare legs, at her bare sex. She scrambled to cover herself and back away. They all laughed.
They all began to overlap to a gurgling roar. A cameraman fell forward on his knees to get with her face. Another followed him, pointing his camera down at her bare legs, at her bare sex. She scrambled to cover herself and back away. They all laughed.
“What are you all doing here?” she demanded, her voice cracking.
“Huma,” a voice said behind her. She turned her head and a hand caressed her face.
“Huma, I’m sorry,” Hillary said. She was in a dark purple leather pantsuit that glittered in the bright lights. She was made up in layers of foundation, her hair set expertly.
“Ms. Clinton,” Huma said, acutely aware of the cameras.
Hillary reached down and cupped one of Huma’s breasts under the thin silk robe.
“Huma, what must you think of me?”
“Ms. Clinton! Hillary! The journalists,” she said in an urgent whisper.
Hillary waved her hand and Huma heard heavy equipment thud on the grass of the lawn, the squeal of microphone feedback. She felt warmth and wetness. In the off-angles of the lights as they lay on the lawn, Huma looked down and watched a wave of thick blood washing past her legs and feet.
“Sacrifices have to be made, dear Huma,” Hillary said in the now silent yard.
“What’s in the house, Hillary?” Huma whispered.
“Something that has always been with me, love.”
“What is it?” Huma demanded.
Hillary stood and straightened her clothes.
“You stay here,” Hillary said, turning to the house, “I’ll put Chelsea’s father away.”
Weird Wednesday persists in spirit.
If this isn’t weird the word has no meaning.
Amen.
The reviews are coming in:
“I’m sleeping with a night-light after this.” – H. P. Lovecraft
“Ewwwww!” – George Romero
“That’s it, it’s back to the bottle for me.” – Stephen King
Sweet, Stephen King might finally write something worth reading!
His problem isn’t that he got sober, it’s that he got successful. Lost his edge.
Wat? He was always successful. Unless that’s your point 🙂
Well, there was a period where he retained the memory of being poor…as that receded into the past, then the things which scared him seemed not to be as scary to the reader.
Just my 2 cents
Or maybe it’s that my Stephen King phase just ended and I no longer find it as appealing as I once did.
To be fair, I’m intrigued about his time-travel-to-save-President-Kennedy novel, I’m just hesitant to stay with that conceit through 800 pages or whatever it is.
I’m not. I’m sick of Kennedy shit.
I’m not. I’m sick of Kennedy shit.
I don’t know. I think it would be funny to have a time travel to save Kennedy and have it turn out that Kennedy is essentially indistinguishable from Donald Trump.
He went full on progtard is his problem.
But at an early stage he was mentioning how he wanted, not just popularity, but Respect from the Critics. Which I associate with proggyness, in my stereotyping way.
He was better in the early days, I’ll give you that. But man, wasn’t Carrie his first novel? I suppose there was a period before he was truly successful but I don’t know anything about it.
I spoke too loosely, i. e. I was wrong, but I meant the memory of his poverty and millworking days was still vivid.
Yeah, I particularly remember The Stand having a kind of blue-collar feel. Speaking of which.
Carrie was his first novel and it was a success, but he had been selling stories to magazines for years before that. And not classy magazine, third-rate men’s magazines.
In his younger days he was Stephen Prince.
First published novel, but he had written The Long Walk almost a decade before Carrie was published.
Once he got successful, nobody dared to edit the great Stephen King, so a book that would have been entertaining at 400 pages becomes plodding at 900.
Now that I think about it, his next book could be gold but I probably won’t buy it.
He’d need the coke for that. Better to stay off it, though, it’s a young man’s drug.
I can read an 800 page stephen king book and not cry myself to sleep. 800 pages of Sugarfree and i believe a long term stay in a psych ward would be in order.
“I changed my mind mind, I want to believe in God now.” – George Carlin
“Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, I need a drink.” -Pope Francis
“Drink up…pussy.” -Sugarfree
“You stay here,” Hillary said, turning to the house, “I’ll put Chelsea’s father away.”
Of all the Good awful things you’ve written Nutrisweet, surely even you wouldn’t write Janet Reno porn.
Thank God there was moonlight at least. Otherwise we’d have gotten more tactile and ol factory descriptions of that room.
Man oh man, now I have Hillary and Huma on the brain. Am I gonna be chafed tomorrow.
Masterful! I hope there’s more!
I hear there is a movie deal in the works.
Resurrect Will Hays to save us.
I think I can get some guys for it.
I’ll go read the SF freakshow, but I just watched a twenty-something dude making out with his sixty-something grandmom (someone’s grandmom, anyway), so shit is already weird. Real fucking weird.
They come in, right. Sit down at the bar. Order drinks. Seems like a guy taking his grandma out. Seems cute.
Within minutes, they’re making out. It’s sloppy. They’re whispering to each other sotto voce but the smacking lips are piercingly audible throughout the bar. Everyone is uncomfortable. The bartender invites a regular to sit at the opposite end to avoid the brunt of this freak show. Nobody knows what to do. She’s ready to throw them out, but apparently grandma dude realizes how inappropriate this is. Asks for a to-go box for their nachos.
They stay for another twenty minutes. Grandma asks our very patient bartender whether to-go beers is a thing. It isn’t. They go. Last seen: spilling into a Mazda or something.
I already saw the movie.
Yeah, that came to my mind as well. One of those movies that makes a left turn just when you think you know where it’s going…
Sounds like it was Stiffler’s mom.
In absolute fairness, Stiffler’s mom had it going on.
This wasn’t Stiffler’s mom. It wasn’t even Liza Minnelli as of Arrested Development.
This was a hard-living, veiny, thrombosis-risky grandmother.
And I’m pretty sure dude was younger than I am.
+ 1 GILF
Not this one?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Gigolo
Love Wins.
Dude, I’m not kidding, I made the Jurassic Park joke “Uh, uh, love will find a way”
HOW AM I NOT ELIGIBLE FOR PTSD COMPENSATION. I’ve simultaneously seen too much, and too little.
They’re probably at the motel by now. What do you think they’re doing?
Dad and grandma worked out all her oil dividends a couple weekends ago, so… that?
I don’t know, but it looks like some young dude is losing a wrestling match against an elephant skin rug.
Enacting The Aristocrats?
+1, Weird Wednesday
Not having had to see it, I’ll cheer for the grandma. Way to flip the gender stereotypes!
Unless she’s like, a hard-living 25. In which case, at least the guy is for a real night of life experience….
No wonder Penthouse rejects your letters.
Don’t they have a hospice spin-off yet? Granny’s House or Pissbag Chronicles?
“My, Granny, what big taint you have…”
Seriously dude, BRAVO, you are truly a dark twisted scion of the elder lords. All Hail Sugar Free. Look upon his works and DESPAIR!
Look upon his works and DESPAIR!
Oh, I have Tim…I have.
*muffled sob*
It’s the Bed That Eats, isn’t it?
Wait, this is Gojira’s B-movie bit.
Wait, I remember telling a story about my father- that he got suckered into starring in a movie which is now considered the worst movie ever made. After seeing that little gem I cant imagine how any movie could be worse than that.
Your dad was in Troll 2???
OK, so what’s the weird part?
The part where the media seems to be turning against Hillary?
You forget, the media didn’t all fawn on her like they did the Obamessiah. She may have sent a tingle up Huma’s leg, but not Chris Matthews.
Well, OK, then, thanks for ruining my joke.
You call humoring her a joke?
Sigh…you see, the joke was the media’s behavior being the most horrifying thing in a SugarFree story…
I thought it was funny.
Thank you.
Ahhh, yes – well then. Very good, carry on.
Maybe not to the level of Black Jebus, but they did their fawning. Light weight questions and the like. Hell, the fuckers ran HRC campaign propaganda as “news” stories, and sent her questions that would be in the debates.
So long as my failed joke produced a serious discussion, here’s some comments:
The media weren’t as much in love with Hillary as with Obama.
Some of them adopted her as a feminist icon, deliberately looking away from her flaws because those flaws were being exploited by “sexists.” But give them enough sodium pentathol and the’d probably shrug and say, “well, sure, she’s not perfect, Warren would be better.”
Others backed her because she was a Democrat.
Others resented her for being corrupt unlike the incorruptible Sanders, but you go to war with the army you have, and she was the only candidate to beat Trump.
I found Twighlight Zone on Netflix, been binge watching it. I read the entire blockquoted section in Rod Sterling’s voice.
Do you like the sans-serif episodes? That title sequence disturbs me as much as the scripted content.
I prefer the sans-serif episodes. Early days.
The sans-serifs were middle period. The stupid eyeball with shag rug eyelashes were late period. The serifs were restored by then.
Rats.
Haven’t gotten there yet. When I say “binge watch” I watch 2 episodes then I remember there are other parts of my life to attend to.
Like binge drinking.
*Raises glass to MS*
//Raises glass back at Suthenboy
I never noticed the missing serifs before, but now that I know I can’t stop looking for them. Thanks a lot.
I shot the serif, but I did not shoot the calibri.
Serif don’t like it
Serifing USA
I’m not serif you should keep doing this
Leave him alone, Eddie is a font of wisdom.
*condensed gaze*
You do realize that you are going to hell for that, right Eddie? Good living, faith and devotion thrown away for a horrible pun?
Hell? No, he’s going to pungatory.
Were they missing before you were told to look for missing serifs?
I… I don’t know. Did I forget to remember they weren’t there? Or were they there before, and now they aren’t?
And now you’re Hitler!
Pretty sure SugarFree’s been staring into the abyss for too long. Or he made it his bitch.
“You stay here,” Hillary said, turning to the house, “I’ll put Chelsea’s father away.”
I always knew Bill was a Cuck. Ha!
I feared that Hillary was going to say, “Don’t worry, it’s a big nothing burger.” Luckily, SF was trying to invoke revulsion in the reader and not blind rage.
Sure she meant Bill?
Pretty sure she meant Web.
Your avatar: what is that? I must know
Looks like a brake caliper to me.
Carlos…(((Danger)))?
I really don’t understand that story but I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing.
Bravo, SugarFree is back!
What the holy hell was that? I feel like I need to make holy water to splash on my computer or something. Beer works as holy water right? And by splash, I mean drink it.
Nice work SF. Thinking of Huma’s “sex” made me retch a bit.
“Beer works as holy water right? And by splash, I mean drink it.”
Of course.
Pro tip: Vodka is much higher on the holiness scale.
Not a soul on this site that wouldn’t tap that shit.
Not after thinking about Hillary’s claw being there.
Boner repellent.
After Hillary’s been there? Blech.
Hmm. Apropos of nothing, what’s the name of that program Hillary used to completely purge her hard drive? And can it be targeted at something specific, such as, say, a specific web page I once opened?
DC Matic?
“Viruses? Spam? Complying with the law?” lol
Bitch Bleach.
i think she just used a generic brand of wet wipes. Any store brand will do. Huggies or Pampers brand if you really want to make sure it’s done right.
You mean, like, with a cloth?
Like with a cloth?
damn your nimble fingers
Bounty, the quicker-picker upper.
“Like…with a cloth?”
Pro tip – Always read ahead.
Dammit
This chick laughs at the idea of a “safe space”.
Well, did she hit the asshole?
She’d probably not have to deal with that as much if she didn’t wear the obvious “shoot me in the bloody head please” blue hat.
That’s what makes it charming. Our chicks are complaining about manspreading.
[“Miss Muffett” joke deleted]
Because I’m a pampered, over-rated, immature, probably racist and misogynistic white male who could not check his privilege….
Would?
Yeeeah. Why doesnt she have a flashing lighted arrow on her forehead?
What makes me sad is thinking that that video was posted yesterday and that young woman is probably dead today.
So this is a weird remember: anyone remember “batteries not included”?
I remember this from my childhood like I remember grannie smoking and playing solitaire. But I remember nothing about the movie except mini UFOs.
They saved the old people and fixed all the shit, right? Wait, is that Cocoon?
No, man, this shit is old. OLD. I was watching VHS before VHS was even known as VHS, I think.
Commodious is a Beta hipster.
This is the eighties, Mason, nobody likes reality anymore.
His turntable is set to 78.
they probably both had steve gutenberg
You mean the movie that inspired Pixar’s Up? Well, maybe not. But I do remember thinking about it when I saw the Pixar movie.
I vaguely remember someone is trying to get an apartment condemned so they can buy it cheap. UFOs come down and help the tennant’s fight off the evil corporation.
Yesssssssssssssssssssssss It’s got a ton of old-school rent-controlled New York, but yes that it exactly
Oh shit now I remember I saw that a few years ago. Must have been a slow day.
The Porno? Yeah, the key grip should’ve won an Oscar.
Hardcore UFOs?
My favorite movie from 5-8 years old. Only vaguely remember it
Perfect.
Shush! You’ll encourage SF to go all Stephen Kingy, the cliffhangary bastid.
somehow i got linked to something that that linked to something that encouraged me to read Ted Kazscinsky(sp)’s manifesto
has anyone read it? he spends 1000 and 1000s of words ranting about political correctness.
(the early 1990s version of PC wasn’t very different from the current one tho it was easier to avoid)
example
I now need to get a t-shirt with his ‘sketch drawing’ face and the caption “THE UNIBOMBER WAS RIGHT”
It might be funny to have a monthly “Thoughts from the Unibomber” column @ Glibertarians.
Yep, it’s why Anders Brevik and various other ‘ideological shooters’ that publish their manifestos online tend to blatantly plagiarize him. He spends a lot of time arguing that leftists are effectively mentally broken.
well, all i get from that is that other crackpots were highly unoriginal.
Hoffer made similar arguments and he was pretty much happy as a clam.
I’m not saying that as a means to discredit what he said, just that what he said was such an effective argument that these other guys who hate the left use his work as a cheat sheet.
I’m no political strategist, but that strikes me as the wrong vibe.
I gotta second this.
I just remember it being some Luddite shit.
i haven’t gotten to that part yet
Meh, (OBVIOUS QUALIFIER: Nothing justifies his bombing campaign) even the Luddite parts are at least interesting. I’m so used to reading incoherent leftist garbage based on cheap rhetoric games and emotional appeals that it was actually refreshing to have a guy with such a weird worldview actually trying to convince you rationally.
Oh, here we are =
http://www.crm114.com/algore/quiz.html
This is a quiz called Al Gore or the Unabomber. Can you guess who said what?
I’ve just read about 1/3 of his manifesto, and frankly its impossible to tell the difference.
the few i got right were because i recognized his style – not the content.
That pretty sad. And to think we could have had the Unabomber’s idol as President. *Shudder
I understand that a highlighted copy of The Earth in the Balance was among the only books found at the unabamber’s residence after he was arrested.
I first came across that quiz on a public library computer in the 90s. I wish it wasn’t still relevant.
So he moved to a shack in the forest because he got tired of banging his broom handle on the ceiling. “Turn that shit down!”
he does complain about “noise” a surprising amount.
i think that noise sensitivity is often associated with emergent psychotic conditions.
Quit typing so loud!
Kaczynski was like White Indian and an intelligent person got fused in a transporter.
random thought
Most moral systems stress the restraint of impulses. In fact, the word religion comes from the Latin word for bind or restrain. I think the main reason people oppose capitalism is because its basic principle is the acceptance of desire and greed whereas most religions and moralities teach that desire is sinful and should be suppressed.
You’re onto something here. After all, the word “Islam” means to submit.
Are we going to do that whole “communism is a religion” thing?
Or are we talking atheism vs. theism?
Depends on if you mean communism as an economic system or the historical ideological communism that tends to heavily favour ancestor worship and cults of personality I’d wager.
How are we defining religion?
In particular, is there a definition broad enough to take in communism but not, say, libertarianism?
Other than “religion is bad, libertarianism is good, therefore libertarianism isn’t a religion.”
Who is our deity? Communism’s is gov. Libertarianism lacks this central figure
Let me put it this way: Is there a definition which non-libertarians would accept?
And I don’t see non-libertarians accepting a definition that “religion” is a devil-word used by libertarians for non-libertarians.
You don’t think non-libertarians would fess up to worshiping the state? I think a logical argument can be made for t, whether or not they accept it may be another story. But they certainly do. It is religion-ish at least.
Again, I can’t see a non-libertarian accepting a definition of religion which means “ideas besides libertarianism.”
So the term doesn’t work as an English word capable of communicating meaning across political divides.
Why does whether they agree or not matter. People in cults claim they aren’t in cults, doesn’t change the fact that they’re in a cult. Google definition includes the word “superhuman”, I don’t know that I would say they believe gov is superhuman so maybe religion doesn’t work to describe.
This makes me think of my favorite South park episode where Butters starts worshiping the DMV.
I think it’s even simpler than that. Religion is the dismissal of facts when they come in conflict with faith. If someone would ever objectively prove that libertarianism (or whatever strain of it happens to fit my convictions) leads to famine, death and pestilence I’d likely drop it like a hot potato. Socialists tend to do the opposite. Whenever facts conflict with their goals or world view, they either dismiss or rationalize them.
Belief in and/or worship of a higher power(s) that controls some aspect or all of reality in order to achieve some kind of ultimate plan or mythology (i.e. includes doomsday/rebirth/enlightenment scenario).
The plebs relationship with Kim Jong Il or Stalin certainly counts (I believe we can all agree that Stalin claims to have supernatural powers when he says he can achieve the Worker’s Paradise).
With that kind of flexibility, then a non-libertarian could say that libertarians have a mythology about the Market, which works for according to economic laws for the betterment of mankind.
Really, is there a definition which can be accepted by people who aren’t libertarians?
‘The market’ does not control an aspect of reality, it functions as a part of it. If libertarians were to take instead to claim that the Market had some kind of influence that steered it along the Correct and Noble Path, similar to say, how Taoist do, you’d have an argument.
Libertarians are not claiming to work miracles by saying the market functions, because that’s a self-evident truth. Claiming that you can manipulate the economy to create a heaven on earth is.
The “market” isn’t really a thing. It’s just natural interaction among humans.
OK, but lots of progs deny they’re trying to create a heaven on Earth, they say they’re “pragmatists” who support a social safety net, protection against exploitation, etc., in contrast to those ideologues who would fit politics into a single system, etc., etc.
But they’ll say of course libertarians claim the market controls reality and is sacred and untouchable.
And you’ll say they’re wrong, of course.
So “religion” is a synonym for “wrong”?
If “religion” is just a phrase libertarians use to describe the vast hordes of irrational Others who Aren’t Us, then it’s not really an English word, it’s an internal code which doesn’t work outside the group.
Religion’s not a synonym for ‘wrong’, it’s a synonym for placing faith in concepts or ideals that promise miraculous outcomes. Whether you feel that faith is misplaced or irrational is a product of the individual. One might say, for example, that the communist misplacing his faith in Glorious Leader creating the worker’s paradise on earth is far more irrational that the Christian placing his faith in God, because at least God hasn’t shown himself to be failure and liar time and time again.
I found this in a 2015 article at the Foundation for Economic Education:
“I’m not defending all libertarians. I’ve often heard our critics charge, “You free-market types treat the market like some kind of god that will solve all our ills.” They’re right. Some market advocates do place a blind faith in freedom. Some may even worship the free market as a sort of deus ex mercatum (“god from the market”) that magically and inexplicably solves social problems. That’s perhaps because their commitment to economic freedom is in fact a part of their religious beliefs.”
Alright, that’s a statement in regards to some libertarians.
Now let’s look at the actual philosophy. Does libertarianism support the free market because it promises either utilitarian or miraculous outcomes, or does it support it because it values freedom most of all, regardless of the consequences?
From the online Merriam-Webster
“Definition of religion
“1 a : the state of a religious a nun in her 20th year of religion
“b (1) : the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2) : commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
“2: a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
“3 archaic : scrupulous conformity : conscientiousness
“4: a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith”
Yes, dictionaries have both very narrow and very broad definitions of religion. Merriam Webster also says that literally doesn’t mean literally. That’s not a good source.
“the service and worship of God or the supernatural” rules out libertarianism, but also rules out communism.
“a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith” applies to zealous communists but also to zealous libertarians.
“rules out” = can exist without, even if some people (like Ron Paul) are religious and believe in “the laws of Nature and of Nature’s God”
How about dictionary.com –
noun
1.
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects:
the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3.
the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices:
a world council of religions.
If you’re going to pull our the dictionary and say “this is the definition we should use!” great. It gives five with vastly different meanings that directly contradict each other. Which means its actually not useful at all at successfully defining what a ‘religion’ is.
Also posting entire dictionary definitions as comments is obnoxious and you could at least use HTML.
I was actually using the first definitions I found at random, not selecting the definitions closest to what I thought I’d find.
But I’ll use HTML to link to this definition.
Not gonna click, are you?
You’re not even a little curious?
Because you know I would never go for a cheap laugh or anything.
You have the cart before the horse there Eddie. It isn’t that communism is a religion because of how it is defined, it is that communism is a religion because of how it’s adherents treat it (received wisdom, unquestionable dogma, etc.).
I feel like I’m “trying to nail Jello to the wall” – it’s hard to pin down a definition here. All I’ve found is that I can’t check dictionaries.
Maybe I was supposed to mix the Jello in the bowl to eat.
Uh-oh, what did I do with the paintings?
Yes, it seems odd to deny that civil religion/political religion exists.
I think you’re the first in this discussion to submit that particular definition.
And that would, in fact, accomplish the desired task of excluding libertarianism.
There being no libertarian state, there cannot be a libertarian state religion, can there?
One could argue the civil religion that grew up during the very early days of the Republic is pretty damn close.
One could argue that, and I’d be the most sympathetic to the argument – whereas some people would freak the [bleep] out.
By “the Republic” you mean USA, right?
Please rise (or keep seated, or do pushups, or whatever) for the Libertarian National Anthem
American. Galactic.
Both work.
Is this the sort of thing you had in mind?
See that classic republican symbol at the very bottom of the picture – it represents freedom to this day.
Your mean the fasces?
Yes.
Plus, don’t you hate it when the angels come for you and you’re in your bathrobe?
Sweden Giving ‘Protected Identities’ to Returning ISIS Jihadists, Granting Them Anonymity for Life
https://heatst.com/politics/sweden-is-giving-protected-identities-to-returning-isis-jihadists-granting-them-anonymity-for-life/
***
According to Expressen, Sweden is protecting the identities of Swedish residents who once fought for the Islamic State, a measure normally given to people who are under possible threat.
The newspaper claimed that a 27-year-old former ISIS fighter, Walad Ali Yousef, had been granted a protected identity by the Swedish government. Yousef reportedly joined ISIS in 2014 and shared photographs of himself posing with AK-47 rifles, encouraging others to join the fight.
He had complained that because of the pictures he’s having trouble finding work.“I am looking for many jobs but cannot get one because my pictures are out there.”
***
[head desk]
I wonder if anything will happen to make them less anonymous?
Two shots in the head and a shallow unmarked grave?
oh you said “less anonymous”
I have decided that the people who say leftism is insanity are not over the top at all.
That is insanity on stage in the spotlight.
Left-Wingers Furious After Accidentally Buying Spoof Book Titled ‘Why Socialism Works’
https://heatst.com/culture-wars/left-wingers-furious-after-accidentally-buying-spoof-book-titled-why-socialism-works/
***
A new guide on the wonders of socialism titled “Why Socialism Works” has left lovers of the Left in a fury after they discovered that every one of its 169 pages sums up the political orthodoxy with the simple two-word message: “It doesn’t”.
“Why Socialism Works”, written by Harrison Lievesley, is a parody book – one of a growing number of increasingly popular reads that make fun of a particular political belief by leaving the pages either empty or, as in this case, containing just one sentence. It is being sold online, meaning those who thought they were buying an earnest critique of the capitalist model were left looking pretty stupid.
***
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
Harrison Lievesley, my ass. That was written by Ron Swanson. They aren’t fooling me.
Idea Drought: Democratic Group Revives Old Healthcare Ad With Paul Ryan Killing Grandma
https://heatst.com/politics/idea-drought-democratic-group-revives-old-healthcare-ad-with-paul-ryan-killing-grandma/
***
Immediately following the attempted assassination of Republican Rep. Steve Scalise by a left-wing activist, Americans were promised a new kind of civility in our national politics. Things were getting too heated and could lead to more violence against our elected officials.
Turns out, folks at the Agenda Project Action Fund didn’t get the memo. In a video released on its YouTube channel this week, the 501(C)4 rereleased an updated version of its infamous 2012 advertisement featuring Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan pushing an elderly woman in a wheelchair off a cliff.
At the end of the video, the website asks watchers to visit SaveGranny.org, which features a petition asking Senate Republicans not to pass health-care reform.
***
[head desk]
They want single payer. Under single payer granny will be killed off. The projection of these people is truly breathtaking.
If Republicans had any guts they would counter with a death panel ad.
But they don’t.
Tommy Sotomayor being absolutely ruthless.
Report: White House Battling With Disney Over Robot Trump’s Speech in Hall of Presidents
https://heatst.com/politics/white-house-goes-to-war-with-disney-over-robot-donald-trump-speech/
***
Editors Note: The source of the story, mainstream media outlet Vice News now says their source has retracted his comments and that the story has “factual errors.” Vice says they are conducting a “full editorial review” of the story.
The White House has released a statement to media claiming that there is no quarrel between the Trump Administration and Disney Imagineers, and that the President is schedule to record his speech later this summer. Disney says the Hall of Presidents is expected to open sometime this fall.
***
[raucous wheezing laughter]
In that picture Huma looks like the salt monster in Star Trek:TOS.
… Hobbit
Was that from Star Trek’s first seasoning?
[listens to sound of crickets]
Tough crowd.
Don’t cook it so long.
Turnip!
The Curious History of Cold War Space Guns
https://warisboring.com/the-u-s-army-had-plans-for-gun-toting-space-soldiers/
***
Although the primary purpose of man in space (on the moon or other planets) will not be to fight, he requires the capability to defend himself if necessary,” the engineers explained. “If space is truly for peace, we must be strong there just as we are on earth.”
The Army had already been preparing for a less-than-welcoming environment beyond the earth’s atmosphere. In 1959, the ground combat branch outlined their plans for a moon base as part of Project Horizon.
“The lunar outpost is required to develop and protect potential United States interests on the moon,” the Army’s top researchers explained in their final report. “The full extent of the military potential cannot be predicted.”
…
Of course, the Future Weapon Office came up with these specifications based on mathematical calculations and laboratory experiments. The Army does not appear to have ever built any prototype space guns.
“If the moon and other planets are explored and possibly colonized, the world could eventually see a second evolution of weaponry and protection therefrom,” the engineers concluded.
“This proceeds through the mortar, howitzer, gun and tank stages until eventually you have missiles, anti-missiles and nuclear weapons much as the earth had prior to World War III,” the report noted, curiously blurring the existing state of affairs with an apparent future of war in space above a ruined planet.
***
“We cannot allow a moon-shaft gap!”
One quibble.
““You stay here,” Hillary said, turning to the house, “I’ll put Chelsea’s father away.”
It should have been “I’ll send Janet back to her circle in hell. She has business there. ”
Reno is, hands down, the greatest monster associated with the Clintons. I can only imagine that after death she became an even greater demon charged with administering the ninth ring of hell. That woman was no-shit evil of the kind that Satan would avoid.
My day was improved when i heard of her death. There’s a very small group of people that would get that reaction from me.
Why did i not know that the witch was dead, which o witch the wicked witch is dead?
I Am The Walrus: thrash metal version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJrCFWmhHaQ
Now this is commitment: Michigan couple, both 99, celebrates 80th wedding anniversary
I see 80 years of oppression. JK, good on them.
I’ve been meaning to ask, is that Hillary or Robby Soave in your avatar?
Here – this larger version of the image should let you notice a couple extra details.
Details which kind of stick out.
Those aren’t details, those are nipples.
Ah.
Hillary always keeps her office deliberately cold. Now we know why.
Chilling effect.
I’m so hot for her, I’m so hot for her, I’m so hot for her and she’s so cold
I found an even better version.
Well, I’m leaving if nobody is going to laugh at my jokes or make fun of Eddie. (I keed, Eddie, I keed: they’re laughing at you on the inside. But, no, seriously, you’re alright.)
Been watching agents of shield on the Next Flicks. Time to get hammered and watch pretty girls act like bad asses.
Seriously, when did I become persona au gratin around here?
Why is there all that white space at the bottom of the screen?
Just kidding, look, I’ve been trying to trick someone into clicking this link – could you do me a favor and fall for it?
I may not have used the right phrasing with that request.
Qapla’, the is the internest thing ever seen on the internet.
DJ, Big smooch!
persona au gratin
-thinly sliced person, mixed with cheese and herbs, baked in the oven. I think you’re onto something.
Was listening to NderPR this morning and learned a new term: banking deserts. Poor neighborhoods are filled with pawn shops and payday lenders. Blacks and Hispanics frequent these places at higher rates than whites and Asians. Must be an evil racist conspiracy.
http://hopepolicy.org/whoweare/region/deserts/
Payday lenders were outlawed in Arkansas a few years back. Despite popular opinion, Arkansas is totally woke.
banking desserts
Obviously the solution is to outlaw those places, so people use the local leg-breaker instead, like they did in the good old days.
Elizabeth Warren Action Figure
WOW.
i give 1 out 5 stars. She needs a spear and tomahawk. That and a brace of scalps around her waist.
I wonder if they’re good for cleaning out the garbage disposal.
Oh, good, I also see pantsuited Hillary and Bernie with his belt high enough to touch his ribcage action figures. GOTTA COLLECT ‘EM ALL!
Just imagine the fun videos that could be created with the whole set! (I might be looking at you, SugarFree.)
Just don’t give SF any ideas, like a Chuck Schumer love doll, for example.
hai YA! Hey, YEH! KeeeeYA!…. “and when i am done admonishing the patriarchy-bag, i will sue someone for the arthritis it is causing! I WILL PERSIST!!” (cheers of devoted followers)
Soon to be required in every house
Man yells “Freedom!” as he destroys Arkansas’ new Ten Commandments monument
http://www.salon.com/2017/06/28/watch-man-yells-freedom-as-he-destroys-arkansas-new-ten-commandments-monument/
The King of France recommends William Wallace to the Pope
“Fuck you, God, I don’t want to honor my parents! FREEDOM!!!”
(and then God sends a plague of serpents to kill fifty bazillion Chosen People. thanks, dude)
Obviously braver than this boy –
“Although he was tortured, he refused to renounce his Catholic faith. Moments before he was killed, the teen shouted, “Viva Cristo Rey!” which means “Long live Christ the King!””
i laughed at the utter impotence of internet journos =
journalists don’t even make phone calls anymore. if something can’t be found on facebook, its ‘not clear’.
Salon. nuff said.
This happened in my part of the world and the local news put together that it was the same guy.
We can’t rule out the possibility of a plague of Michael Reeds.
What if we find a baby among the Michael Reeds?
Notify OMWC at once.
But you can trust their anonymous sources. Those are rock solid.
I’ve been seeing quite a lot of this kind of stuff, where often even a casual 45-second Google search on my part is enough to significantly clear things up. Phone calls and searches are work and take away from the pastime that occupies 99% of the time of the modern “journalist”: Twitter.
When I google my name, there is another guy that shows up first. He is a somewhat well respected CS professor. And it’s just the two of us, we have an unusual name combo,
I’m kind of tempted to go on a Florida man style crime spree, just so that when someone googles my name, that other guy with the same name as me has to go into tenure hearings explaining that he wasn’t the guy that was arrested for snorting coke off a stripper’s ass.
Never go full FloridaMan…
…without a film crew.