Thursday Afternoon Links – The Hat and The Hair: Episode 68

by | Mar 22, 2018 | Daily Links, Hat and Hair | 473 comments

“Joe Biden? I’ll fucking fight Joe Biden!” Donald screamed into his phone.

“Oh, Christ,” his hair said.

“Lighten up,” his hat said.

“You set it up, Sean,” Donald said. “You set it up. I want it on prime time, Sean. I will beat that gropey old fuck to death! To death!”

There was a muted whoosh as the hat sent a message out on Twitter.

“Uh,” the hair said.

“Shut up,” the hat said, “I’m being intimidating. Biden will be so intimidated he won’t even show up for the fight.”

“FOR-FEIT!” Donald said into the phone. “Biden’ll forfeit, Sean. He won’t even show up for the fight.”

“Can you hear what Sean is saying?” the hat asked.

“Barely,” the hair replied. “It’s not a very good connection.”

“I need to know what he’s going to say about the fight on his show,” the hat said.

“OK, then shut up and let me listen,” the hair snapped.

“No, no, no. Sean, no. No, Sean. Listen to me. LISTEN. TO. ME. The fight is going to happen no matter what,” Donald said, “I’m just giving you guys the opportunity to air it. In prime time. Yes, prime time. 8pm, Sean. Right after Wheel of Fortune.”

“Sean doesn’t think he can get the network to pay for it,” the hair whispered.

“They’d be idiots not to,” the hat whispered back.

“He saying that if Donald wins the network would be accused of rigging the fight,” the hair whispered.

“Of course we’re going to rig the fight,” the hat said indignantly. “I’m not letting our Donald go out there and get beat up by goofy-ass Joe Biden!”

“Yes, Sean,” Donald said. “Yes. You have to pay for the ring and the venue. I can’t pay for it. It can’t be done. It just can’t. What? I don’t know. Get CNN to go in on it with you. Cost-sharing or whatever. Peddle your ass like you did for rent money in college; I don’t fucking care.”

The hat and the hair shook with laughter.

“And I want sexy ring girls. Sexy. Not those wrung-out hags you call news girls. I want 10s or higher out there shaking their ass. White girls too. I ain’t having it look like a ghetto strip club,” Donald said. He reached up and adjusted the hat and the hair and the hair hung on grimly.

“Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” the hat sang quietly.

“Are you over Hope leaving already?” the hair asked maliciously.

There’s always going to be gash coming in and going out of this place. I might as well get used to it,” the hat replied.

“Would you two be quiet?” Donald asked angrily.

“Sorry, Donald,” the hair said.

“Fuck off, Donald,” the hat said.

“Just finalize the plans. We can have it in New York City before the Park Slope dykes finally ruin it. Make it happen. I want Biden in that ring. I want McCabe working his corner. I wanna see Hillary drinking out of his spit bucket.” Donald slammed the phone down and pressed his Diet Coke button impatiently.

“I think that went well, Donald,” the hat said.

“Cheeseburgers,” Donald replied. “I need lots of cheeseburgers. I need to bulk up for the fight.”

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

473 Comments

  1. Q Continuum

    Is he gonna fuck Joe to death like Mr. Garrison?

    • C. Anacreon

      fucking is bad…m’kay?

    • Bobarian LMD

      He’s gonna wear him like he was Mr. Hat.

  2. Endless Mike

    Hope has left the White House. SAD!

  3. Q Continuum

    These ladies’ assault weapons definitely cause the thing to go up.

    http://archive.is/AFvTp

    3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12, 16, 23, 34.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’m going with 10 and 34.

    • R C Dean

      17 is . . . hypnotic.

    • DiegoF

      Alright, pretty strong this time.

    • Homple

      What’s the message from 15, “Wanna fork”?

    • DEG

      I have to get some stuff done around the house, so no time for an orgy. I’ll just take number 13.

    • Naptown Bill

      12, 12, 12, 12. And then 12.

  4. Q Continuum

    “There’s always going to be gash coming in and going out of this place.”

    I prefer “spasm chasm”.

  5. Rufus the Monocled

    Those tweets are retarded even by his standards.

    I get his whole shtick but man…I wonder if he’ll overplay that card.

    • Mad Scientist

      Rufus, Biden’s probably going to call you to ask for advice on dealing with a fist up his ass.

      • Sean

        lol

      • bacon-magic

        Good one…lol

    • Gadfly

      Those are fake tweets. SF puts dedication into illustrating his stories.

  6. Mad Scientist

    Poor Biden. He coulda been a contender.

  7. Just Say'n

    Biden v. Trump

    “The Gout Bout”

  8. The Other Kevin

    I don’t know how it escaped me earlier, but there’s some serious irony in hair-smelling, unwanted touching, discomfort inducing Joe Biden telling someone how to treat women. I think it’s because I’m actively trying to tune out the news lately.

    • SugarFree

      • Riven

        Exactly.

      • SugarFree

      • Riven

        “Bad touch.”

        “Worse touch.”

        What about that one in the diner with the motorcycle chick?

      • SugarFree

        With the guys glaring at him.

      • Riven

        Yeah. Pretty sure if the cameras weren’t there… Old Joe would’ve been limping home.

      • Mad Scientist

        Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these
        Industrial towns
        I know you’re prob’ly gettin’ tired
        Of all the local clowns
        They never give you no respect
        They never treat you nice
        So perhaps you oughta try
        A little friendly advice
        And be Joe’s slut

      • DiegoF

        Here he is again! Except looking way less hard than usual.

      • Q Continuum

        We have the worst political leadership ever.

      • The Other Kevin

        Anyone who thinks “It’s ok when my side does it” should be thrown had first off a cliff.

      • The Other Kevin

        had -> head

      • C. Anacreon

        “Wanna go snuggle in the back of my Camaro?”

      • CPRM

        Creepy Uncle Joe knows what the ladies like.

    • The Other Kevin

      Maybe we should get a high school student to punch Joe Biden for the way he touches women.

    • Drake

      It’s not the touching he was upset with, it was Trump talking about it.

      You don’t talk about Grope Club!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I have an image of Trump and Biden in the ring. Trump pulls a piece of chalk out of his glove and hypnotizes Biden like a chicken. Then…

    POW! Game Over.

  10. Endless Mike

    So each piece of “trash” has an average weight of 44 milligrams? Am I missing something?

    • thepasswordispassword

      Pretty crazy bull shit. Ninja sword that the guy had available to him but didn’t have with him earlier in the day? Stabbing through a steel door (which apparently opened it as well)? It’s about as believable as the Bastard Operator From Hell.

  11. CPRM

    Wooo! Hat and Hair Linx! Now I have an excuse for not clicking the links, would have ruined the flow.

    • TK

      I’m at work so… yeah I’m not clicking any of those links this afternoon. Great episode though, SF.

      • SugarFree

        All the links are work safe. Trust me.

        (No really, they are all just news items.)

      • TK

        Haha, I appreciate the reassurance.

      • Gadfly

        It’s like real life is a Mad-Lib for SF to write his art around.

  12. C. Anacreon

    Those brave, brave teen titans are now on the cover of Time, with Curly unironically wearing designer ripped jeans, and snarling on cue for the camera.
    Poor Boss Hogg looks pissed to be in the back row — no doubt he thought he should be alone on the cover.

    • SugarFree

      It’s like if The New Mutants all had a chromosomal deficiency.

      • robc

        Technically, isnt that what makes them mutants?

      • SugarFree

        I think the X-gene is a replacement gene. Or an extra gene. Which in the 90s would have been spelled X-tra gene.

      • C. Anacreon

        X-tra flavor X-tra fun in a SugarFree gum.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Now with Xylitol?

      • DiegoF

        Sadly, X-tremeness survives today only in stoner stunt sport competitions and the charmingly little-reformed-since-the-early-2000s field of underarm deodorants.

      • SugarFree

        Oh, man. I had to go look it up, didn’t I?

        The Human mutants Homo superior possess the X-Gene, mutant gene,[1] X-Factor chromosome,[2] or (chromosomal)[3] X-Factor,[4] “mutator gene”,[5] positioned on the 23rd chromosome[6] (sexual chromosome).

        http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Mutant_Biology

    • CPRM

      You know who else was on the cover of Time and wanted to disarm the populace?

      • PBRstreetgang

        Morris Day?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Oh ee oh ee oh!

      • Agent Cooper

        Incredibly disarming.

      • C. Anacreon

        That limb-transplant surgeon?

      • Ted S.

        +1 Orlac

      • Tonio

        Hillary Rodham Clinton?

      • Gadfly

        *applause*

    • Just Say'n

      I don’t want to be a jerk to a bunch of dumb high school kids, but…why does that girl have a shaved head? High school must have changed a lot since I was young

      • Sean

        Fuck those kids. Be a jerk to them.

      • Tonio

        Because she’s a butch dyke, a “right-on lesbian.” And I bet her head is the only thing she shaves.

      • Q Continuum

        Until she graduates from college, gets a square job and stops being fashionably gay (or non-binary, or otherkin or whatever other thing the kids are into these days).

      • DiegoF

        OMWC hardest hit.

      • SugarFree

        I’ve never seen an explanation but I wondered about that too.

        Possible reasons:

        a) “gender non-conforming”
        b) trans
        c) lice-ridden
        d) often wears wigs
        e) an avid Alien 3/Brittney Spears/V For Vendetta cosplayer
        f) inordinately proud of her proportionally tiny head
        g) claimed to have cancer to get out of mid-terms.

      • Tonio

        Subvariant of gender non-conforming. The idea is to deviate as far as possible from “patriarchal norms” of female appearance. But she’s really just doing the straight boys a favor by flagging that they’d be wasting their time hitting on her.

      • SugarFree

        Maybe, Tonio. Or maybe she sold her hair to buy her girlfriend a watch chain.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And her girlfriend doesn’t even have a watch.

      • Mad Scientist

        She sold it to buy hair brushes for the bald girl!

      • Just Say'n

        This is a fun game

        h) shaved her head in solidarity with her father who’s losing his hair
        i) lice
        j) thinks Katy Perry was ‘brave’ for shaving her head after her preferred candidate lost the election
        k) huge Miley Cyrus fan

      • jesse.in.mb

        Florida is hot and humid. I just assume all women there shaved their heads to avoid the high hair-care costs/frustration levels.

    • Chipwooder

      Speaking of Boss Hogg….no, this kid is totally on the level. In no way is he a leftist using a tragedy to famewhore and push his pre-existing political views.

      TW: Twitchy

      • TK

        I’d normally give this kid somewhat of a pass because he’s 17 and doesn’t know anything at all about the world, but since he’s been in the spotlight I just can’t stand his self-righteous smugness.

        That being said, I hate articles made entirely out of twitter screen-caps.

      • Chipwooder

        Fuck ’em – you wanna play in the deep end, I’m not throwing you a life preserver just because you’re 17. Sink or swim, bitch.

      • TK

        Oh I’m absolutely at the same point you are – screw this kid. I’d normally give this kid a pass, but he’s just an annoying little ignorant shit that experienced some really, really awful trauma – but that doesn’t make him an expert on jack shit. It also doesn’t make him intellectually developed or consistent.

      • Chipwooder

        Regarding that trauma – I thought it was interesting that the Kashuv kid, in talking with a like-minded classmate on Twitter, noted that most of the famewhore gun-grabber kids weren’t even in the same building where the shooting happened. Calling them “survivors” is a stretch.

      • TK

        Wait, for real? If that’s true, my high level of annoyance with these kids has just transitioned to a moderate level of rage. What annoying little pricks.

      • Sean

        Wait, for real? If that’s true, my high level of annoyance with these kids has just transitioned to a moderate level of rage. What annoying little pricks.

        Let the hate flow through you.

      • Chipwooder

        I know I saw it linked a couple of weeks ago. I can’t find it now.

    • thepasswordispassword

      There is no way the girl goes barefoot normally

    • Mad Scientist

      MSDStrong. What a fucking tool.

    • DiegoF

      You know, I’ve been giving these kids endless shit about being rich liberal suburbanites, like those you might find anywhere from in the country from Marin County to the Main Line, but whose merely technical Floridianness has given them unwarranted cred in the public subconscious. But I will be DAMNED if those kids don’t look Florida as all FUCK. I have to eat some humble pie here and give credit where it is due. Those are some straight-up, no-shit Florida looking kids right there, don’t care what else is true about their backgrounds. I know real when I see it.

    • Rope Snake

      The Narcissism Generation

      I too say ‘Enough.’

  13. Nephilium

    Huh… Ohio House does something not retarded.

    • Bobarian LMD

      They want their cut?

      • Nephilium

        I don’t think so. It’s just that a lot of the Ohio Congress people dislike automated tickets. This isn’t the first law they passed to get rid of them.

      • Q Continuum

        Jesus Jones that chick on the right is 37?

        DAAAAAAMN

      • invisible finger

        And something wanted to have sex with it?

      • Bobarian LMD

        It was a police sting, so something probably did have sex with her…

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Something on meth apparently.

      • {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        Meth.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
        Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
        Peter Gibbons: [laughs] That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
        Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, ’cause chicks dig a dude with money.
        Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
        Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
        Peter Gibbons: Good point.
        Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
        Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
        Lawrence: Well yeah.
        Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
        Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
        Peter Gibbons: I’d relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
        Lawrence: Well you don’t only need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he’s broke, don’t even do shit.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    “Seventeen Minutes Is NOT Enough!”: How the Parkland Walkout Erupted into a Mini-RebellionWhat was planned as a quiet, controlled protest for Marjory Stoneman Douglas students turned into a mass insurrection, thanks to a pack of defiant middle-schoolers from down the street.

    I have read this “story” three times, and I still don’t know what the fuck it’s supposed to be about, other than the desperation of people like this nitwit at Vanity Fair to ascribe some sort of existential meaning to a bunch of kids who want to skip class.

    ~~~Fairy got you, brah~~~

    • TK

      Speaking of SF…

    • Agent Cooper

      The Middle Schoolers wanted Cruz to have more than 17 minutes to get rid of their annoying older siblings?

  15. grrizzly

    In personal news: after living here for 17+ years, today I finally became a U.S. citizen.

    • SugarFree

      Congratulations!

    • Raven Nation

      Woo-hoo – congrats!

      I got a little teary when I took the oath.

    • bacon-magic

      Congratulations

    • The Other Kevin

      Congratulations!

    • Ted S.

      Enjoy the worldwide tax jurisdiction!

    • Mad Scientist

      Congratulations!!!!

    • Sean

      Congrats!

    • F. Stupidity Jr.

      Goddamn illegals gettin’ in with a loophole Congratulations!

    • C. Anacreon

      Congratulations! I’ve heard how cumbersome the process can be, so kudos for sticking it out.

      One of us! One of us! One of us!

      • grrizzly

        What’s tough is getting the green card. The rest is easy. In my case it was even fast: I applied for naturalization last November.

      • Number.6

        Most green card holders are motivated enough and educated enough to learn the ridiculously simple information you need to pass the Citizenship process. You will have been fully checked out for the Green Card, and meticulously indexed, classified and filed since that point. That transition from Green->Full *ought* to be easy.

      • dbleagle

        Congrats on your citizenship. Now we can tell you the (((secrets))) on the $1 bill,

    • Riven

      That’s great news! Welcome to the citizenship

      • Q Continuum

        It’s not going down a hallway.

    • Q Continuum

      Welcome to the club.

    • TK

      Awesome! Congrats!

    • trshmnstr

      *offers 21 gun salute*

    • AlmightyJB

      Awesome Grrizz!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Yeah! Good Job Prole, now pay more Taxes!

    • Tonio

      Congratulations.

      “One of us, one of us…”

    • jesse.in.mb

      Mazel tov!

    • Just Say'n

      Congrats

    • one true athena

      congrats!

    • Creosote Achilles

      congrats!

    • Lachowsky

      Congratulations. Now don’t make any trips to the sketchier parts of the ME.

      • grrizzly

        Thanks to all of you guys.
        Now I can do all the good stuff like drink and drive and not worry about being deported.

      • Lachowsky

        Geez, they didn’t make getting a DWI part of the citizenship requirement. Whoever is making these rules doesn’t know what it means to be an american.

      • invisible finger

        When you heading to the gun shop?

    • DOOMco

      WOO! Congratulations

    • The Hyperbole

      God damn furriners stealing our citinships. A Murican coulda used that citinship.

    • tarran

      Do you realize that now they can tax you wherever you go?!?

      Do you know what will happen to you if you should inherit property, money or investment assets located overseas?!?

      American citizenship is so wonderful, that the U.S. adopts the policies of the Nazis and Soviets and demands something like 30% of the assets of those giving it up as a penalty.

      • grrizzly

        If I planned to leave the country, I wouldn’t apply for citizenship. I don’t have rich relatives, so there’s no need to worry about inheriting stuff. All my assets are here anyway. Had I got filthy rich in the last five years, I would have considered alternatives–but it didn’t happen. I’m aware of the issues: that Facebook co-founder who renounced his U.S. citizenship and settled in Singapore was my student.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Welcome to Hell Congratulations!

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Congrats!

    • Tundra

      Congratulations!

    • Gilmore

      (stands, salutes, plays “america the beautiful” on bugle)

    • Gustave Lytton

      Congratulations!

    • Grumbletarian

      Condolences, you’re part of the worst society on earth now, according to noted leftist idiots.

    • Don

      Congratulations!

  16. bacon-magic

    Biden will have Obama sneak out from under the ring and hit Trump with a shillelagh.

    • Raven Nation

      One NZ journo not impressed with Obama’s visit: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12018472

      “Former US President Barack Obama looked tired, brought nothing to the table and his evening with an exclusive New Zealand audience was a “missed opportunity”, says broadcaster Mike Hosking.”

      • C. Anacreon

        Obama looked tired, brought nothing to the table

        Jeez, he at least could have brought some potato salad or a dessert.

      • PBRstreetgang

        racist

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That would have been Watermelon and Fried Chicken

      • AlmightyJB

        Damn, now I want fried chicken.

      • Agent Cooper

        Whenever I hear soul music or Sam Cooke or whatever, I sometimes wonder why white people even bother making music.

        I’m beginning to think that with food, too.

      • Ted S.

        JS Bach says you can fuck yourself.

      • TK

        Well, this is what he would have asked Obama to make the occasion more lively:

        “I would have got in his face and said, ‘Welcome to a country, where a kid…has never been shot in a school. How is it you can stand at Sandy Hook, with tears running down your face, and not change the gun laws in your country?'”

        Because we don’t live under a dictatorship, dumbass.

    • CPRM

      But then Vince McMahon knocks out the ref with a chair and helps Trump win! Then Mueller runs out and accuses Vince McMahon of being a russian stooge, they got him this time but good. Trumpf is going down!

  17. The Late P Brooks

    ~~~Fairy got you, brah~~~

    Thanks, Fairy!

    • Just Say'n

      “Peak population” is still around, but now they call it “global warming”

    • CPRM

      leave about half the Earth’s surface mostly free of humans, so wild plants and animals can live there unimpeded as they did for so long before humans arrived.

      That’s right, get damned colonists out of Antarctica!

      • TK

        My understanding is that the vast majority of the land on earth is uninhabited already. It might be connected via artificial roads and such, but it doesn’t mean people are living there and regularly disturbing the wildlife. Maybe I’m wrong on this, but I’m under the impression that we have quite a bit of land out there that people have no desire to live on.

      • TK

        Thank you for this map. I will use this.

      • invisible finger

        The obvious takeaway is that most of the planet is an uninhabitable shithole.

      • TK

        Obviously because of climate change too.

      • invisible finger

        Or possibly because humans aren’t a long-term life form.

      • trshmnstr

        The entire world’s population could live in a mega city the size of Texas. Don’t give me this bullshit about overpopulation.

      • jesse.in.mb

        Are you sure it’s not 1/4, 2x or 4x the size of Texas? Asking for a garbagepatch friend.

      • one true athena

        yeah, there’s a section in one of the PJ O’Rourke books from awhile back where he talks about it – every person on Earth could have two square meters and not fill up Bangladesh. SO stupid.

      • Chipwooder

        It was in All the Trouble in the World.

      • Number.6

        It wasn’t so long ago that you could have put the entire population of Earth on the Isle of Wight.

        So, now, maybe Long Island?

    • The Other Kevin

      We figured out how to solve the food and water problems, so they had to come up with some other reason to kill off the undesirables.

      • Tonio

        You are a bad and cynical man, Kevin. I like that.

      • invisible finger

        The key point is THEY want to do the killing. They could just pass out guns to everyone and let the undesirables kill themselves, but where’s the sport in that?

    • Chipwooder

      The Reverse Khmer Rouge!

    • Rasilio

      Apparently Mr Robinson is unaware of the existence of a little place called Siberia

      Right now the human race is only using ~43% of earths land mass. About 3% is urban areas and about 40% is agriculture. The other 57% is largely free of humans.

      So what is the problem, we are already well below the 50% threshold

    • Q Continuum

      More like: “I’m a ‘reporter'”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Sorta like the sign off on TMZ.

  18. Lachowsky

    I think I’m rubbing off on my wife. actual texts we just exchanged.

    wife: I’m pissed. I have to work on kurt’s birthday even though I requested the day off months ago.

    Me: Did they give you any explanation why?

    Wife: Because fuck you that’s why.

    • TK

      That’s great, she seems great. Now go rub off on your wife in private, please.

      • Tonio

        Golf clap.

    • Mad Scientist

      Good on her!

    • Just Say'n

      Pics? So we can all rub off to your wife?

      • Just Say'n

        I instantly regret this cheap joke. Sorry, but I couldn’t help myself

      • Q Continuum

        10 demerits.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sometimes……./shakes head…

      • Gordilocks

        Lachowsky graced us with a photo once. Mrs Lachowsky is a beautiful young woman, bummer you missed it, shitlord.

      • Bobarian LMD

        So… you’re saying you already rubbed off on her?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep.

        (to Gordilocks, not Bobarian)

      • Gordilocks

        *Raises eyebrow, winks.*

  19. Q Continuum

    DJIA taking it in the tukus after Trump announces more trade war BS.

    • invisible finger

      So what does that mean for state pensions?

  20. one true athena

    This is the greatest — Rand Paul is going through the Omnibus bill page by page describing the appropriations for each stupid fucking thing in it. He’s somewhere around page 300 and everything he’s posted so far is complete cronyist garbage.

    • Q Continuum

      I’m beginning to wonder if Congress will ever pass an actual, real life budget in my lifetime.

    • Lachowsky

      Good on Rand.

      • Lachowsky

        It’s a good thing we have Republican control of Congress or the Democrats might bust the budget caps, fund planned parenthood and Obamacare, and sneak gun control without due process into an Omni…wait, what?

        That’s solid gold there, Rand.

      • Lachowsky

        Senator Rand Paul
        @RandPaul
        ·
        1h
        Replying to @RandPaul
        2. Remember the $350,000 NSF spent asking if japanese quail are more sexually promiscuous on cocaine?

        I love it.

      • DOOMco

        cocaine?

      • Lachowsky

        In all honesty…

        yes. absolutely. There’s a reason people throw away their lives on drugs. And that reason is not because they don’t make you feel good.

      • DOOMco

        Glib Vacation should be somewhere we can all do a bunch of coke.

      • Lachowsky

        Somolia?

      • invisible finger

        We’ve always loved fucking science.

      • Chipwooder

        Senator Rand Paul

        Verified account

        @RandPaul
        Follow Follow @RandPaul
        More
        2. Remember the $350,000 NSF spent asking if japanese quail are more sexually promiscuous on cocaine?

        12:50 PM – 22 Mar 2018

        That reminds me of those old Martin Gross books that would document the many ludicrous things the government wastes money on.

      • Gordilocks

        I seem to recall many trillions spent on reducing several countries to ruin, initiating the biggest migration crisis in history, and maintaining the world’s largest opium farm.

      • Bobarian LMD

        For the children?

    • DOOMco

      on is twitter, or elsewhere?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Also, at Vanity Fair- some bozo is venting his outrage about Trump’s legal team attempting to establish parameters of what may be asked of him, or what information he may be asked to provide. His outraged reaction- “You don’t get to tell the prosecutor in a criminal investigation what’s off limits!”

    Yeah, now tell us what specific crime is being investigated.

    They call that political reportage section of Vanity Fair “The Hive”. I wonder who came up with that. Genius, baby.

    • kinnath

      I’ve had it. It was excellent.

    • R C Dean

      Love the beer n keyboard combo.

      But, what does STEVE SMITH say? I’m dying here!

      • Mad Scientist

        Relax!

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Rand Paul is going through the Omnibus bill page by page describing the appropriations for each stupid fucking thing in it. He’s somewhere around page 300 and everything he’s posted so far is complete cronyist garbage.

    NEEDZ MOAR GENDERQUEER PEDESTRIAN BRIDGES

    • Chipwooder

      Is anyone supposed to give a shit whether or not this mendacious little dipshit goes to school or not?

      • Q Continuum

        Not like it matters anyway; the education system has clearly already failed him.

    • thepasswordispassword

      Can he be prosecuted for truancy?

    • Gilmore

      prediction:

      he tries to hang onto his 15 mins of fame until last minute, then coverts into Richard Spenser-supporting Alt-right firebrand in desperate appeal to remain in limelight.

      or, maybe not. but its sort of par for the course for these “famous without ever having done anything or said anything smart” types.

      • SugarFree

        I will lay my money on “releases a signature cologne only available at finer Walgreens and wherever paperbacks are sold.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        5 years to recovering meth addict.

      • SugarFree

        I would also take some side action on “sex scandal with youth minister.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Once you blow your money, you gotta blow something to get it back.

      • SugarFree

        Yup. And, honestly, meth and preacher-blowing are not mutually exclusive endeavors.

      • Gilmore

        i have 2-3 friends who’ve made very large piles of money

        one made ~$100m running a company that makes ‘fake versions of famous fragrances’ and sold them in ghetto drug stores.

        their big win came when walmart agreed to distribute them, and he sold the company to private equity.

      • SugarFree

        Damn.

        I’ve always thought I would make a very good rich person. Like really rich. 100MIL and up. I’d just party with my peeps and play elaborate practical jokes on people I hate.

      • Lachowsky

        100 million would sure make for a lot of cocaine and hookers.

      • Number.6

        The best hookers. Classy hookers. You’ve never seen ones as classy as these hookers.

      • SugarFree

        Right? I mean, Leo DiCaprio seems to live a perfect life. Party on yachts with supermodels, fuck one until she turns 25 and then pawn her off on a different actor friend.

        The feminist blogs have a shitfit, but he doesn’t seem to be lying to these girls or cheating on a wife and they seem to do fine afterward. Leo is the perfect celebrity poonhound.

      • DiegoF

        Where is OMWC when you need him? Does this Florida Boy meet dime-store signature cologne model standards?

  23. Derpetologist

    Oh, how I laughed….

    Exchange students in Italy set fire by cooking pasta without water

    ***
    A group of American exchange students in Italy caused a fire after attempting to cook pasta without water.

    The three 20-year-old women purchased a package of pasta from a store while studying in Italy and placed it directly in the pot before lighting the stove, causing the pasta to burst in flames within minutes.

    “We put the pasta on the fire without the water, we thought it was cooked like that,” the students said.
    ***

    [head desk]

    • Gilmore

      “three 20-year-old women”

      (picture of statue of liberty weeping)

      I could have excused it if it were some dudebros

      • Bobarian LMD

        What are their opinions on gun control?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I don’t normally advocate forced sterilization, but I don’t want them reproducing either.

      • F. Stupidity Jr.

        +3 generations of imbecile

    • The Hyperbole

      Sadly I can relate

      My Woefully Unprepared For Life High School Aged Niece – “Uncle The Hyperbole, Can you make me some Ramen?”
      The Hyperbole – “Make it yourself”
      WUFLHAN – “I don’t know how”
      TH (perplexed) – “You can’t boil water?”
      WUFLHAN *holds up omelet pan* – “Like in this.”
      TH – “This is why I drink.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        If she can’t boil water, I hope you trained her to make cocktails at least.

      • Number.6

        Or sammiches.

      • The Hyperbole

        I only spend 1 or 2 weeks a year around them. I try but it’s a losing battle. My sister doesn’t make then do anything, as long as they get good grades and stay out of trouble, she couldn’t care less that they are slobs and expect everyone else to do everything for them. Lucky for them Daddy’s loaded so they will more than likely never have to fend for themselves.

    • Ted S.

      Almost makes me long for the days of Amanda Knox.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Not like it matters anyway; the education system has clearly already failed him.

    Remember when they used to talk about teaching students *how* to think, and not *what* to think?

    Seems like only a century ago.

    • Mad Scientist

      People who can think for themselves don’t make useful idiots. Public school systems have zero incentive to crank out anything else. And, sadly, at some point the moron has to give in and agree to be a moron.

    • TK

      They’re still teaching them how to “think.” Quite effectively too.

    • Agent Cooper

      The Dead Poet’s Society was a cautionary tale.

    • Q Continuum

      The Smart Set.

  25. Derpetologist

    has this made the rounds yet?

    ***
    A recent academic journal article by four engineering professors bemoans the prevalence of “masculine social norms” in the field, saying it deters women from becoming engineers.
    According to the professors, the “desire to win,” “emotional regulation,” “dominance over others,” the “need to be high performing,” and “hegemonic masculinity” are all among the harmful norms in engineering culture.
    ***

    https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10672

    • TK

      So the engineers that can’t and haven’t ever engineered anything are complaining because real engineers make fun of them? Sounds like a personal problem.

      • trshmnstr

        Those who cant do, publish? (as somebody who has done both, I’m just joking)

    • The Other Kevin

      “need to be high performing” – I’m sure everything will be fine if we have more low performing engineers.

      • tarran

        Yeah. It’s totally patriarchial to have standards that require the bridge to not collapse within a month of erection. /rools eyes.

        Do these people not realize they sound like a male chauvinist’s stereotype of ditzy females?!?

      • trshmnstr

        Dammit

      • Pope Jimbo

        “not to collapse within a month of erection”

        So women built bridges never collapse?

      • trshmnstr

        It’s not like bridges would collapse or anything

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Cheer up, in the final moments when you’re plunging to your death after that bridge collapses you can console yourself with the fact that you did your small part towards smashing the patriarchy. That’s worth something isn’t it?

      • Q Continuum

        Those people under the Miami footbridge did their part!

    • R C Dean

      I like how women apparently can’t control their emotions and aren’t driven to excel.

      And we’re the bigots for disagreeing.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “dominance over others,”

      projection…

      • Bobarian LMD

        That is, most likely, their safe-word.

    • Ted S.

      The bridge at FIU was designed by low-performing engineers.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Public school systems have zero incentive to crank out anything else.

    And, of course, the fundamental failing of the government school system is it has been tweaked over time to serve the teachers and administrators, and not the students.

    • R C Dean

      Posted up there, brah.

      • Bobarian LMD

        So nice, he wanted to see ’em twice?

      • AlmightyJB

        My brain can’t register the headline and pics.

      • SugarFree

        You mean you haven’t always wanted to have sex with The Predator’s mouth?

  27. Tundra

    Business travel is LARPing at it’s most hilarious.

    • Tundra

      Or its.

    • Nephilium

      Yep. I’m very happy you had me down here and scheduled a lot of meetings. Have you managed to get me the access and credentials I need to do my job? Not yet… OK.

      The worst was flying out of home on a 6 AM flight, and going into the office after that. At least for the flight home, I can partake in overpriced airport drinks.

      • Pope Jimbo

        One of the Iron Rules of business travel is that you will only be upgraded to 1st class with free drinks on your way to the client site. No one ever has been upgraded on the return flight.

  28. DiegoF

    Brush back the NRA!

    And they say comedy is dead.

    What a bunch of worthless pieces of shit. Are their members any better than the leadership? Where is the outrage?

    Democrats get this one for free. We don’t even get carry reciprocity. That may be dead forever. We get nothing. This Republican Congress + Trump officially has accomplished more gun control than the 2009-11 Democratic Congress + Obama. Remember when we thought we might get clean carry reciprocity and silencers? Those ancient times a year ago? Will we ever get silencers? Now the only accessories you are going to hear about are bump stocks.

    Also, Florida.

    Also, motherfucking goddamn VERMONT!!! Probably.

    Forward progress is dead. We will be lucky for anything we can hang on to with the skin of our teeth.

    Seriously, what is the reasoning in caving on clean Fix NICS? What does it get us? How is there even the slightest upside, strategic or otherwise?

    I’ve never been a super alarmist about Republicans’ electoral prospects; I’ve actually been pretty moderate. But does it even matter? Do we even need Democrats to do anything?

    I’m opening the Crowder booth. Change my mind.

    • F. Stupidity Jr.

      I’m opening the Crowder booth. Change my mind.

      Here’s some reassurance for you: When the Democrats reclaim the levers of power, things are going to suck a whole lot worse. Until the Republicans reclaim the levers of power; then things are going to suck a whole lot worse. Until the Democrats reclaim the levers of power; then things are going to suck a whole lot worse. Until the Republicans…

      • thepasswordispassword

        So what you’re saying is that we should model our society on lobsters?

      • DiegoF

        Yet more Internet bullying and threats from a man with an agenda. See, this is why a strong independent woman needs police protection nowadays, alt-right cesspools like this one. You are lucky you’re Certified Family Friendly, pal.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The shithead Republicans are far better on guns when they’re the minority party when their role is to oppose the Democrat’s gun control fever dreams. When they’re in the majority they worry too much about how they’ll be perceived the next election even though they’re selling their base down the fucking river. They are a bunch of unprincipled hacks. My biggest fear with the gun issue has always been a Republican President changing his mind and coming out in favor of gun control and giving the Republican congress cover. If Romney had won the election that occurred a bit before Sandy Hook God knows what the laws would look like now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Like Reagan and Bush Sr’s records on enabling gun control?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Reagan was the 1986 auto weapons ban wasn’t it? What did Bush 1 do?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Also, Gov. Reagan.

      • DiegoF

        The gun is the only thing that will free us, pig!

        *puts on beret and sunglasses, raises fist*

      • TK

        And then they wonder why their party is fractious.

      • Derpetologist

        Also sprach Coulterthustra:

        “There are bad Republicans; there are no good Democrats.”

      • DiegoF

        there are no good Democrats

        *bites lip, runs away sobbing*

      • Gadfly

        The way you’ve been talking, you are clearly a DINO.

        Which is a much cooler acronym than RINO or LINO, so I’d run with it if I were you.

      • Nephilium

        Yeah, you could probably make this about President Dino.

      • DiegoF

        That was not a clip from a justly obscure late-season episode where the Great Gazoo installs the brontosaurus dog into power in a dystopian alternate future and I will never forgive you for that.

      • Ted S.

        I was thinking Dean Martin.

      • Chipwooder

        One of the few worthwhile things that hag has ever said

      • DiegoF

        I used to say this. I used to say if not for the courts I’d want a Democratic president. That way the Republicans would only strengthen at the midterms, and at least things wouldn’t get much worse. Eventually I was won over to the idea that the Republicans are plenty bad either way, so might as well get what good you can out of a Republican presidency. Now I’m starting to go back again.

        Conservatives need to get their act in order and primary the fuck out of Republicans in deep red territory. Maybe garden variety shills are appropriate in unsafe districts and even in leadership, but there is no reason any Republican from rural Arizona or whatever should not be a GOA, Freedom Caucus guy.

    • DOOMco

      VT is fucked. They vote tomorrow.

    • Q Continuum

      There is *nothing* to gain from this. Liberals won’t vote for any Republicans for having done this, and they’ll lose a giant chuck of the base in the process.

      Stupid. Party.

    • DiegoF

      You people are not making me feel any better! I need my Uncle Ken Schultz to stroke my hair and make me calm down when I get excited.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        *Hands Diego a Snickers*

        Better?

      • DiegoF

        *takes, eats, turns into Robby Soave*

        Better.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Nice!

    • mikey

      A new wormhole is discovered – thx!

    • But Enough About Me

      I . . . love this.

      • Festus

        Funky! Funky! Funky! Eyooooowwww!!!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Meanwhile, down on Wall Street…

    What remains unhealthy, according to the Wall Street bankers I talk to, is the ongoing and mystifying behavior of the president of the United States and his sycophants. “If [Trump] keeps his mouth shut, I think that he’s probably O.K., even if the market goes to bear territory,” continued the senior Wall Street banker. He worries, though, that Trump can’t control himself, can’t resist being in the headlines every day and can’t resist turning every small issue into a major conflagration. Over time, Trump’s behavior will take its toll. “If he wasn’t such a serial liar, brutish, unprincipled, semiliterate, policy-inept person with no fundamental principles or morals, putting all that aside, he hasn’t been horrible,” he said. “But he’s a complete dick. He’s even more than a total dick. You can be stylistically a total dick. You can have a short temper. You can be demanding. You can be unforgiving. Those characteristics would make you viewed as a total dick. But being a total dick doesn’t necessarily make you immoral.” Trump, on the other hand, represents the ultimate black swan event, threatening to pursue irrational policies that make the prediction game on Wall Street all but impossible. The likelihood of future government shutdowns, of Twitter feuds with China, and of nuclear missile scares, are without precedent—a paradox, of sorts, for Wall Street’s oddsmakers. He’s the high-beta president. Or, as my Wall Street friend more astutely put it, “The nature of his dickedness is worse than normal dickedness.”

    I disagree with this Cohan guy at least as much as I agree with him, but he’s not a compete idiot. This is not a bad piece, despite the overwrought rhetoric.

    • SugarFree

      I read a piece by Jonah Goldberg the other day and found myself in complete agreement.

      We live in strange and terrible times.

    • Lachowsky

      A little over the top, but he’s basically right. Trump is unpredictable and a dick.

    • Gilmore

      a serial liar, brutish, unprincipled, semiliterate, policy-inept person with no fundamental principles or morals… he’s a complete dick. He’s even more than a total dick. You can be stylistically a total dick. You can have a short temper. You can be demanding. You can be unforgiving. Those characteristics would make you viewed as a total dick. But being a total dick doesn’t necessarily make you immoral.”

      clearly one needs to be a super-duper economist with deep thoughts about the stability of interntional finance to appreciate this analysis

      “” He’s the high-beta president.””

      pretty sure, but don’t have any quick way to confirm (no wait, i do)….

      the average beta of financial services sector has fallen from 0.65 in Jan 2016 (low to begin with) to .61 (lower) in Jan 2018

      no particular spikes in the interim

      and the “Market ex-financial” beta has gone from 1.13 to 1.07 between jan 2016 and jan 2018
      in addition, the number of industries /sectors that have seen falling beta outnumbers the ones that have grown. 76 out of 100 sectors have seen lower risk levels.

      I doubt the author of that piece knows what Beta is. (“measure of undiversifiable risk of an asset”, roughly; if it is high- above 1 – it indicates that asset may fall more-steeply during overall market downturns)

      • Gilmore

        I realize that the author was making a figurative point – that Trump, not the markets were ‘high beta’; iow, he’s unpredictable.

        its just this doom-mongering attitude about “omg risk everywhere” that’s so absurd.
        e.g. yes, he had nuclear-bluster talk with norks; now he’s having a sit down w. them.

        that’s like complaining about intra-day volatility but ignoring the fact that you’re getting steady ‘up’ market-closes every day. its ignoring results and moaning about technical irrelevancies.

        in the end these banker types are whining about “style”, and nothing about actual market-risk issues

      • Gilmore

        **double footnote;

        in my “just looking out of curiosity” at the changing risk-levels in the market data

        more than half of the sectors that saw sharply rising risk-levels in 2017 were healthcare related. Which makes sense; we spent a year were ‘repealing obamacare’ was on the table about half the time, and people were probably hedging the shit out of positions.

        others that stand out as sort of odd; Food Processors? i suppose there’s been some spike in input costs?

        others … alcoholic beverages, auto+trucks… perhaps all aluminum+steel related.

    • Gilmore

      “”the Wall Street bankers I talk to””

      how many of them give their names in that piece, out of curiosity?

      • Q Continuum

        “anonymous sources” = “shadow people who spoke to me in a gastroenteritis-induced fever dream”

      • DiegoF

        I don’t know, but I understand they hailed their rides over from some of Tom Friedman’s wisest taxi drivers.

    • Gilmore

      * a footnote:

      i actually read the entire linked piece now. He makes some good points. that last bit is sort of his “on the other hand”, aside, which mostly seems to be offering some “mea culpa” to readers who wanted to hear bad news but which Cohen didnt have to give. Sort of like how robby throws bones to SJWs in all his pieces: this guy needed to add some trump-hate just to ensure his readers could swallow the “markets are actually healthy” pill

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I would also take some side action on “sex scandal with youth minister.”

    I see him (young Mister Hogg) as a “performance artist” following in the footsteps of Mattress Girl. Maybe sword-swallowing an AK 47.

    • Q Continuum

      Loaded with the safety off? Pretty please?

  31. Derpetologist

    Lithuanian is the closest living language to Proto-Indo-European. And they make good music too:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioBuM99EtCI

    Makes me want to create a language with 12 grammatical cases and 3 genders.

    ***
    Lithuanian grammar is the study of rules governing the use of the Lithuanian language. Lithuanian grammar retains many archaic features from Proto-Indo European that have been lost in other Indo-European languages, and is consequently very complex.
    ***

    fun fact: Lithuanians can understand basic Sanskrit because the two languages are so similar.

    • DiegoF

      This is false, from what I understand. The Baltic and Indic branches contain the most conservative modern IE languages; and Sanskrit is a very conservative classical language. But the changes that have been made to the original protolanguage in the two branches are not related at all–no more than, say, the changes in Indic versus those in Celtic. And, of course, there’s been a lot of lexical contact with neighboring languages in their respective very distant geographies over the millennia, and essentially none with each other. Baltic branch is related to Slavic, and not that closely at that. I think the LIthuanian-Sanskrit business was overhyped by a lot of 19th century racial romanticism.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    I read a piece by Jonah Goldberg the other day and found myself in complete agreement.

    *genuflects, makes sign of cross, throws salt over shoulder*

  33. Ayn Random Variation

    Could use some help if someone is bored enough or has something handy.
    I commented on my prog Knicks blog that big time college athletes will never get paid because there would be a Title IX lawsuit the second a paycheck was cut.
    That made me a mouth breathing racist rapist, so I did some googling but can only find prog speak stuff about the letter of the law, not the reality of it.
    Anyone have some ammo I can use?

    • Number.6

      I had a delivery of 880 rounds of 7.62x54R if that would help.

    • Lachowsky

      I have a few boxes of .308 I’ll let you have if you promise to use it on progs.

    • SugarFree

      I think there would be a lawsuit, but as long as both male and female athletes were being paid, I doubt it would go anywhere. I would imagine something like them being paid a percentage of ticket sales would have to be in place to fight accusations of discrimination. That way the men’s teams who are generating the money get paid more.

      But, honestly, with the courts nowadays, who knows?

      • Q Continuum

        You actually think that those who generate more revenue should get higher paychecks?

        SEXIST BIGOT!

    • Creosote Achilles

      The thing is, the colleges don’t need to pay the athletes.

      The NCAA simply needs to allow them to profit from their name; endorsements, signing with agents for advances, autographs, attending skills camps, selling their used gear, licensing and the rest. If the money is coming from those sources, there’d be no title IX implications.

      There is no good reason for the NCAA to prohibit those activities other than FYTW.

      • Nephilium

        South Park provides an answer.

  34. Heroic Mulatto

    When the full extent of your venality, moral turpitude, and political corruption becomes known, you will take your rightful place as a disgraced demagogue in the dustbin of history. You may scapegoat Heroic Mulatto, but you will not destroy Thicc Thursday…Thicc Thursday will triumph over you.

    • Q Continuum

      YES! T H I C C THURSDAY IS BACK!!

    • Riven

      Thicc Thursday will triumph over you.

      My body is ready, senpai.

      • But Enough About Me

        YOW-za!

  35. Derpetologist

    Nigerian girl still held by Boko Haram after refusing to convert to Islam, mother says
    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/03/22/nigerian-girl-still-held-by-boko-haram-after-refusing-to-convert-to-islam-mother-says.html

    ***
    A Nigerian schoolgirl remains in Boko Haram custody after the Islamic extremist group released more than 100 others, and her mom said Thursday it’s because the girl wouldn’t convert to Islam.

    The girl, Leah Sharibu, 15, was about to board a vehicle that would have returned her to freedom with 104 other abductees. But she was stopped by the extremists, who said she would be left behind if she refused to convert, according to The Associated Press.

    “Her friends said they tried to convince her but she said she will not convert to Islam. Boko Haram said since she will not convert to Islam she should remain behind. That was how they left her,” her mother said.

    Freed girls and other parents have said Sharibu is Christian and remains a captive because she won’t convert.
    ***

    I’m sure soft, western feminists are at this very moment strapping up like the Expendables to fill those vermin with hot lead.

    • Mad Scientist

      If not, they should be! How dare that girl offend Islam like that!

  36. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    “mediocre” means “in the middle of a rugged mountain” in Latin.

    larf!

  37. The Elite Elite

    So, Trump has announced via Twitter that his new National Security Advisor will be the warmongering former UN ambassador, John Bolton.

    • Q Continuum

      Christ what an asshole!

    • Derpetologist

      ***
      Though Bolton supported the Vietnam War, he declined to enter combat duty, instead enlisting in the National Guard and attending law school after his 1970 graduation. “I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy,” Bolton wrote of his decision in the 25th reunion book. “I considered the war in Vietnam already lost.”
      ***

      If it were up to me, Bolton would get another chance to prove himself in combat. He has no excuses left now.

      • Q Continuum

        That is an unusual amount of candor for hypocrisy and cowardice.

      • Derpetologist

        more from wiki

        ***
        During the 1969 Vietnam War draft lottery, Bolton drew number 185. (Draft numbers corresponded to birth dates.)[18] As a result of the Johnson and Nixon administrations’ decisions to rely largely on the draft rather than on the reserve forces, joining a Guard or Reserve unit became a way to avoid service in the Vietnam War.[19] Bolton enlisted in the Maryland Army National Guard in 1970 rather than wait to find out if his draft number would be called.[20] (The highest number called to military service was 195.)[21] After serving in the National Guard for four years, he served in the United States Army Reserve until the end of his enlistment two years later.[22] He wrote in his Yale 25th reunion book “I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy. I considered the war in Vietnam already lost.”[23] In an interview, Bolton discussed his comment in the reunion book, explaining that he decided to avoid service in Vietnam because “by the time I was about to graduate in 1970, it was clear to me that opponents of the Vietnam War had made it certain we could not prevail, and that I had no great interest in going there to have Teddy Kennedy give it back to the people I might die to take it away from.”
        ***

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Well. I guess we’re going to war with Canada. Sorry, Rufus.

      • Tundra

        Bring back some goalies, please.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I wrote about Neoyokelservatism almost 4 months ago, and did any of you assholes believe me? Did any of you assholes say, “Hey, good job, Heroic! We appreciate you and your contributions to this site?” Did any of you assholes say, “Did you ever know that you’re my hero, and everything I’d like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle for you are the wind beneath my wings”? Of course not!

      Fucking pricks.

      • Tundra

        Christmas Eve? And no chicks?

        Can’t imagine how we missed it.

      • The Hyperbole

        Just exactly what did you think I meant when I posted this
        The Trans Siberian Symphony and Burl Ives can join Mr Moore and Mr. Dickens in kissing jolly red ass.
        If that aint an “Atta’ boy! HM” I don’t know what would be.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Fair enough.

        I’m still drinking myself into oblivion, however.

    • Pan Zagloba

      Jesus fuck, that’s pure nepotism.

      You can pay Bolton a ton of money every year, or you can get a custom Magic 8-Ball which responds with “bomb it”, “sanctions”, “special ops and drone strikes” and “invade” and have the exact same result.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What a fucking disaster-Trump’s worst decision by far. Sessions looks good next to this fucking guy.

  38. Derpetologist

    so shines a good deed in a weary world

    Hundreds protest college’s proposal to drop humanities for more practical majors
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/03/22/hundreds-protest-colleges-proposal-to-drop-humanities-for-more-practical-majors.html

    ***
    University officials have proposed cutting 13 majors, mainly in social studies and the humanities — programs with lower enrollment, the school said.

    The 13 programs that could be eliminated are American studies, art, English, French, geography, geoscience, German, history, music literature, philosophy, political science, sociology and Spanish.

    The university, located about 100 miles north of Madison, also plans to add or expand 16 programs that have a higher demand to deal with declining enrollment and reduced tuition revenue. Those pragmatic majors include marketing, management, computer information systems, graphic design and aquaculture — areas that “have demonstrated value and demand in the region,” according to the school.
    ***

    horror of horrors!

    • Q Continuum

      The Lefties wearing the humanities’ skin suit will have none of this!

    • blighted_non_millenial

      How is that possible? I thought 100 miles north of Madison was all Canucki wasteland.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      They’ll be changing their name to “Wisconsin Voc-Tech”, I assume?

      • ruodberht

        This guy fucks.

    • ruodberht

      Well, it’s not trade school, so maybe not a great idea? Just make a trade school if that’s what you want.

      This doesn’t seem like good news in the slightest.

    • DiegoF

      In America, only for orthodoxy.

    • Derpetologist

      “If They [Muslims] Had Gotten Rid of the Punishment for Apostasy, Islam Would Not Exist Today”
      https://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/3572/islam-apostasy-death

      ***
      The most influential Sunni leader in the Middle East has just admitted what many of us who grew up as Muslims in the Middle East have always known: that Islam could not exist today without the killing of apostates. Yusuf al-Qaradawi, head of the Muslim Brotherhood and one of the most respected leaders of the Sunni world, recently said on Egyptian television, “If they [Muslims] had gotten rid of the punishment [often death] for apostasy, Islam would not exist today.” The most striking thing about his statement, however, was that it was not an apology; it was a logical, proud justification for preserving the death penalty as a punishment for apostasy. Al-Qaradawi sounded matter-of-fact, indicating no moral conflict, nor even hesitation, about this policy in Islam. On the contrary, he asserted the legitimacy of Islamic laws in relying on vigilante street justice through fear, intimidation, torture and murder against any person who might dare to leave Islam.
      ***

      When the UN issued the declaration on human rights, communist countries protested the right of emigration and Muslim countries protested freedom of religion.

    • SugarFree

      You me’d that, brah.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I was just highlighting my sentiment.

      • SugarFree

        Seriously idiotic, though. Lando is 58% less cool without a gun.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I beg to differ. Billy Dee Williams rarely had a blaster as Lando, and is still 100% cool.

      • SugarFree

        But Donald Glover needs the boost.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Yeah, Lando strikes me less as a guy who shoots someone and more as someone who arranges to not be around when shooting is in the offing.

        And if someone really, really needs shooting, Lando can fast-talk someone else into doing it. Preferably the guy’s ally.

      • DiegoF

        These kinds of things still split both sides, in a last remnant of the late 20th century cultural battle lines. Young progs still like their movie pew-pew-pew, and cons are still so- enough to like their moral panics and hate their Hollywood. So you still hear plenty of “OMG I cannot BELIEVE we are controlling Han’s MAKE BELIEVE blaster when there are 15,000,000,000 REAL weapons of war out there killing REAL children because of NRA Russian terrorist gangsters”; and plenty of “HYPOCRITICAL Hollywood still makes $$$ glorifying VIOLENCE teaching kids to KILL no VALUES; PEACEFUL LAW ABIDING RESPONSIBLE gun use depictions taken down by YouTube Socialists but do you see Hollywood Filth showing libtard millionaires shooting guns AT EACH OTHER taken down?”

        As usual, the Right has a bit more of a point, but we are the only ones uninterested in using one moral panic as a foil against our preferred one. And as I am always saying, liberty will only make real sustained permanent progress to the extent to which we can attack the underlying the moral panic phenomenon itself. More immediately, the Right is losing the long game on guns right now, and will until they have the balls to challenge the premises of the “mass shooting” moral panic instead of offering up their own “solutions” (i.e. compromises or at least feints on gun control itself, or attacks on other liberties).

    • thepasswordispassword

      Yup fuck them.

    • Pan Zagloba

      So we go from “Han shot first” to “Han shot in self-defense” to “Han never shot no guns”?

      I’ve actually started to appreciate The Last Jedi for unambiguously telling me Disney SW is not for me.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Star WARS-War, which i presume involves guns, is right there in the title. I’m ready to invite the Chinese and/or the Russians in because we’ve become too pussified to exist.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Guns in the hands of trained military personnel and/or police are still acceptable.

        Not sure how that squares with Rebelion/#theresistance, so I presume they will drop the guns and pick up light sabers.

      • DiegoF

        50 years of neverending Disney SW from now, heat-packing Han will be a trivia asterisk for future ultranerds and entertainment listicles, like early Batman is for us today. “Did you know that in his initial appearances, Han actually used a gun and killed bad guys? It’s true! Here’s some surprising VHS footage.”

      • Not Adahn

        yeah…. no. I’m pretty sure that’s a ‘shop.

      • The Elite Elite

        Yeah, that actually is a pretty nice gift from Disney and Kathleen Kennedy. With Awakens you might’ve been fooled by it being a (inferior) remake of A New Hope that, hey they wanna capture the feel of original Star Wars. But, with Last Jedi and their response to criticism over it, they’ve made it clear who they do and don’t want as their audience.

  39. straffinrun

    DONALD “THE FISTER” TRUMP VS JOE “THE SNIFFER” BIDEN
    6’3″ Height 6’0″
    Over Reach Around
    Beard Neck Kisser
    Pounder Chest (Normal) Smooth
    Puffy Chest (Expanded) Unchained
    Yuuge Bicep A Big F’n deal
    Yuuge Forearm Shotgun Blast
    Racist Wrist Limp
    Crooked Fist Filled with Clinton Foundation Cash
    Thicc Waist Gaffy
    KFC Thigh Would
    Melania Calf Articulate *For a black man
    72 Age 75

  40. DEG

    I’m having half the bottle of Snow on the Maple for tonight’s beer, and then the rest tomorrow. Tomorrow’s half of the bottle will hit my alcohol limit for the week.

    The beer is pretty good.

  41. Stinky Wizzleteats

    So I popped on over to Pornhub and watched a couple inrangetvshow gun reviews. I have to admit that it’s a bit strange watching these with the lesbian threesome and anal gaping videos showing up in the suggestions. It works just fine though.

    • Just Say'n

      So when you buy guns you never encounter someone at the store offering you a lesbian threesome? What kind of statist gun store do you go to?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The owner of the LGS I go to is also a Southern Baptist preacher. I don’t think that’s his thing.

    • DEG

      inrangetvshow is on Pornhub? Under what? I’m searching for it and can’t find it, though I’m finding other interesting stuff.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep-I think I searched for “gun reviews.” The YouTube uncertainty has driven them there.

  42. Pan Zagloba

    Well, looks like PM Zoolander’s pot legalization program cleared another hurdle.

    The Liberal government avoided a disastrous result for its marquee marijuana bill Thursday, as the legislation to legalize recreational cannabis passed a key stage in the Senate. It’s now headed to five separate committees for further study.

    Senators voted 44 to 29 to pass the bill, largely along partisan lines, at second reading. A defeat would have killed the bill, forcing the government to start over again in the House of Commons with new legislation, all the while jeopardizing plans for full legalization by summer.

    All 28 Conservative senators present in the chamber voted against the bill. Virtually all Independent senators — most of them appointed by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau — sided with the government.

    Btw, Canadian Senate is not elected. Senators are appointed by the Prime Minister. Because John A. MacDonald was a fan of Augustus, probably.

    • Just Say'n

      The most “libertarian” Canadian prime minister ever, according to neoliberals

      • Pan Zagloba

        John A? Probably. At least he was a confirmed drunkard, and a Scot.

      • Just Say'n

        You know what they say about Scotsmen?

    • DiegoF

      I have no idea how that weird system does and does not work. In the British HoL it is essentially nobility as kings always wanted it in the first place. Noble titles, after all, were originally just royal offices that the king appointed his favorites to; it was only as they gained in power and influence that they started to demand that their heirs be enfeoffed to the king as a matter of course. Now it is as it was always meant to be, with the favorites of the Crown and Scepter (nowadays wielded by the royal vizier) ennobled for life, and each generation of cronies having to prove its loyalty afresh. “Reform,” ladies and gentlemen.

      • Just Say'n

        I don’t know about Canada (because no one cares), but in the UK the House of Lords is basically a formality. They can only slow a bill. It doesn’t really matter how they vote.

      • DiegoF

        I used to think that, but they seem to be a working house with at least some important power. I heard it mentioned they actually have more power than a great many upper houses, including the Fifth Republic’s. (We’re not used to just how much less powerful they are, to varying degrees, elsewhere in the world.) And apparently they know how to wield the power that they do have with an enormous amount of skill. The mischief they can sow on Brexit seems to be taken quite seriously, as have their opinions on electoral, political, and procedural reform in the past, much of which they have successfully thwarted. During the Blair shogunate, they were actually considered a formidable and often successful guardian of what remained of Constitutional principles and fundamental rights against a premiership that otherwise took advantage of “unwritten Constitution” to mean “no Constitution” in a way that no previous one had dared.

        So it seems they do do real work, and occasionally valuable work in terms of checking tyranny, which may explain the remaining attachment to them even as preposterous as they look. When I was a young Anglophile I always assumed these fellows with the funny medieval titles and ermine robes “debating” bills were at this point as ceremonial an exercise as the Queen herself, and was surprised to see people actually caring about “reforming” them. Turns out the Liberal policy of gradually stripping them of power had stalled with the fall of that party; and instead, first the Tories and then Labour had actually given them new lease on life, in the form of legitimacy acceptable to “modern” values, by “reforming” them into a (first partly, then overwhelmingly) lifetime-appointed organization.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Easy, Senators are appointed per province (in which they should have some kind of residence, but really, they are mostly Ottawa-Toronto resident since that’s where the power is), until age 75 (or they resign, either of their own will or under pressure). They can’t pass laws, but can send them back to the Parliament. Unlike HoL, I don’t think there’s a set limit on how many times they can send the law back, so don’t piss them off too much, or just make sure you put your cronies in.

      • Just Say'n

        So to an extent they can delay the passage of legislation more than the House of Lords in the UK

      • Pan Zagloba

        That’s my understanding – the HoL got that privilege taken away over Irish Home Rule, IIRC, but our Senate never angered the government like that, so they got to keep it.

        If they ever threatened to become a sustained thorn in the side, I’m sure PMO would clean house. But for now, they are mostly there to provide sinecure for celebrities, donors and cronies (optimally all three at once), and amuse us with occasional retarded scandal.

      • DiegoF

        Didn’t (lil’) Trudeau order the Liberals not to be called Liberals or something? And didn’t Harper have a rather odd, and seemingly rather destructive, principle against appointing any Senators at all, so there are too many (ex-) Liberals compared to what they would have been? Not enough to avoid having to resort to parliamentary tricks to pass your silly national anthem changes, apparently, but more than Harper could have had it.

        I never know what’s going on with your country. It’s too fucking ad hoc. It’s like you’re midway between the UK and a country with a real written Constitution, however poorly entrenched.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Harper didn’t want to appoint Senators and insisted provinces elect them instead (he seated Alberta’s elected Senator, I think).

        Trudeau said that Senate should be independent and henceforth all the Liberal Senators are Independent Senators! And lo…they still acted like Liberals today. As the Tories noted

        Conservative Sen. Don Plett, the caucus whip, said government efforts to marshal Independent senators — and fly them back to Ottawa for a vote — prove that the ‘Independent’ label is a farce.

        “Justin Trudeau’s biggest problem is his independently appointed senators have been told they’re independent for so long that now some of them are starting to believe that,” he said.

        “Tell me how they are not whipped. Senators were out of the province and they were flown home today for the vote. That’s what I would call being whipped. You check the definition of what a whip does and that’s exactly what they do, and that’s exactly what they did.”

      • DiegoF

        Harper didn’t want to appoint Senators and insisted provinces elect them instead

        Well, Harper is a fool. I thought that then, reading it at the time; and now he has been outsmarted by a Breck girl.

        You can follow your principled little rule when you turn it into a law that will bind your successor. What kind of nonsense was that, committing yourself to following the law that exists only in your imagination?

      • Pan Zagloba

        It was an electoral promise and he thought he should keep it.

        But yes, playing by the rules your opponent doesn’t is a sure fire way to look like an idiot…

      • Festus

        “Breck Girl” Sniggers ensue! Good one , Wandering Stranger!

  43. Just Say'n

    “I voted for Trump because I want more pointless wars advocated by John Bolton”

    – said literally no one ever

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      No shit, that was my primary reason for voting for the guy-he seemed to be open-minded at least to being realistic about foreign military interventions. Now I guess we can look forward to war with Syria, Iran, North Korea, and hell, maybe even Russia and China. This was a terrible and stupid appointment, worse than Sessions.

      • Just Say'n

        There is literally no reason to support Trump anymore. Any of his good policies are coming from his cabinet, without his input or the Republican congress. It’s almost like Mitt Romney won at this point

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Well, at least we managed to get more gun control, the upcoming signing of an absolutely terrible omnibus bill, and a trade war with China. The only consolation I have at this point is that you-know-who lost and things would have been worse (maybe…I think).

      • Just Say'n

        You’re right. Trump was really elected for judges and so far his appointments have been solid, because he’ll just basically choose whoever the Federalist Society tells him to. So he delegates well

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Didn’t think about the judges. You’re right, those have been mostly good.

      • DiegoF

        I always freak out, then turn to Ken, speaking for the Negative. He always has interesting and thoughful things to say.

        Contrary to popular belief, the hardest core Trump defenders seem to have remained on TOS. This place is a rather unique niche not really covered by any other space I’ve seen.

      • Just Say'n

        I haven’t seen Ken in a while. I’d be interested in his thoughts, too

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, no, you’re wrong about that. The reason to support Trump is that he can keep a Democrat ( read communist) out of the Whitehouse for 7 more years. Everyone is overreacting to everything he does. Best case scenario, he mellows with time and Rand has a lot of influence on him. The alternative is not acceptable.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The alternative isn’t acceptable but neither is Bolton, a man with an established track record of chickenhawk war-mongering psychopathy. He’s been more wrong more often than anyone else Trump could have possibly been considering.

      • C. Anacreon

        The country is going proggy fast enough. No need for a Dem president to facilitate that and increase the pace of our demise.

      • Just Say'n

        Another disastrous intervention will speed up the pace

      • hayeksplosives

        To be fair, even Mitt Romney has probably imbibed more alcohol than Trump. So there’s a slight difference.

        That, and the fact that Romney has probably grabbed fewer women. Even if he does put them in binders.

      • Derpetologist

        eh, I see some hope regarding North Korea

        https://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/shortened-but-ussouth-korean-military-drills-back-on/news-story/9a2aafbe800815f65c2d2d68d91122d4

        ***
        The US and South Korea will go ahead with annual military drills next month, but the main exercise will be shortened by a month as a diplomatic thaw with North Korea gathers pace.

        South Korea confirmed yesterday that no aircraft carrier would take part in the large-scale exercises that involve tens of thousands of troops and which are a perennial source of tension between the two Koreas, with Pyongyang condemning them as provocative rehearsals for an invasion of the North.

        With talks under way to set up a North-South summit, followed by a proposed face-to-face meeting between US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, there was speculation this year’s drills might be scaled back to avoid derailing the discussions.
        ***

      • Gustave Lytton

        Smells like Team Spirit.

    • The Hyperbole

      It’s not like he hid this. Bolton was and is a favorite of the Breitbart set, this is the base that won him the primary, and then Anyone But Her got him elected , to now act surprised that he follows the advise of the assholes that got him elected is polyanna-ish-ist.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Flynn was his first appointment and was a reasonable man compared to Bolton, seeing someone with views similar to his would have been nice.

      • Pan Zagloba

        Building a wall was even more favorite by the Breitbart set, but he didn’t do anything there.

      • Just Say'n

        I thought the Breitbart set hated neocons? That was why all the neocons like Brett Stephens, Max Boot, Bill Kristol etc. couldn’t stand Trump

      • Just Say'n

        Either way, the American Conservative called this months ago. Dan Larson has been pounding Trump on foreign policy pretty much six months in to the administration

      • The Hyperbole

        I don’t know all the angles, But during the election I listened to Breitbart radio two or three times a week, Bolton was a regular, all the stupid shit Trump has toyed with …Tariffs, extra-judicial executions, trade war (or if possible real war) with China…was their bread and butter, Never Trumpers got a lot of grief but they had a point, you aren’t electing a limited government conservative, let alone a libertarian, he may be friendly to some laissez faire ideas but he’s all for big government as long as it is his big government.

    • straffinrun

      Bolton, Omnibus Bill, Count Dankula… This week really sucks.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Smart guy, his Joe Pesciesque delivery can grate on me sometimes though.

      • straffinrun

        He’s a total freak.

      • Gilmore

        yeah, the freakish behavior doesn’t really help his point.

        if he were delivering it in cold-blooded, Chris Hitches elocution, he’d slay his opponent.

    • Festus

      Lionel is the evil Imp on Otter’s shoulder in Animal House. “Fuck her!”

  44. Pan Zagloba

    Trump sucks even at trade wars

    A senior US official has said that the European Union (EU) and six other countries will be exempt from steel and aluminium tariffs announced by President Trump, at least temporarily.

    The tariffs of 25% on steel and 10% on aluminium are due to come into effect on Friday.

    The EU had argued it should be exempt.

    Aside from the EU Mr Lighthizer said Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Mexico and South Korea would be exempted.

    So he’s exempting most of the top 10 exporters of steel to the US. Hardest hit – Russia (tied at #4-#5 with Mexico).

    On the other hand, maybe he’ll adopt the similar model for gun regulations, and target muzzle loaders?

  45. The Late P Brooks

    The news girl just said the Austin bomber was home schooled.

    It all makes sense, now.

    • Pan Zagloba

      Ah, so that’s why his bombs worked?

      Seriously, if jihadis were as good as that guy, there’d be lot more dead around…

    • Just Say'n

      So he was a Nazi?

    • Pan Zagloba

      So…”SugarFreean” is gonna be 21st century version of “Swiftian,” then?

      • DiegoF

        I have always felt that if Swift wrote today, he would write much like our SugarFree.

    • Just Say'n

      *applause*

      Well done

      • straffinrun

        Thanks. I was supposed to be a feel good story.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I agree with pervy O’Brien: Sharapova was hotter than Kournikova.

      • DiegoF

        Kournikova being more legendary than Sharapova is the greatest evidence I have seen for the feminist claim that men really do find real athleticism, success, intelligence and talent an inherent turnoff, and intensely so, in a woman.

      • straffinrun

        How about Martina and Chrissy?

      • Ted S.

        Both of them always look phony to me.

        Dementieva, and Myskina and Jankovic, are all much hotter.

    • DEG

      That’s awesome.

      • straffinrun

        Thanks, Deg. Just a little fun’n.

    • mikey

      Great – I should have seen the last line coming.

  46. Derpetologist

    today in ridiculous hyperbole

    Chomsky: ‘The Republican Party Is the Most Dangerous Organization in Human History’
    https://www.alternet.org/visions/chomsky-republican-party-most-dangerous-organization-human-history

    ***
    LP: Finally, as you look ahead, what do you consider to be the biggest threats to human beings in the future? What should we be most concerned about?

    NC: Climate change and nuclear war. These are really existential threats. And what’s happening now is just astonishing. If media were functioning seriously, every day the lead headline would be this amazing fact—that in the entire world, every country is trying or committed to doing at least something. One country—one!—the most powerful country in history—is committed to trying to destroy the climate. Not just pulling out of the efforts of others, but maximizing the use of the most destructive means.

    There’s been nothing like this in history. It’s kind of an outrageous statement, but it happens to be true, that the Republican Party is the most dangerous organization in human history. Nobody, not even the Nazis, was dedicated to destroying the possibility of organized human life. It’s just missing from the media. In fact, if you read, say, the sensible business press, the Financial Times, BusinessWeek, any of them, when they talk about fossil fuel production, the articles are all just about the prospect for profit. Is the U.S. is moving to number one and what are the gains? Not that it’s going to wipe out organized human life. Maybe that’s a footnote somewhere. It’s pretty astonishing.
    ***

    • Hyperion

      “Chomsky: ‘The Republican Party Is the Most Dangerous Organization in Human History’”

      I mean if only they were a real threat to communism, then yeah. Libertarians would be, except we have no power. So, no, his delusions are safe for now.

    • DiegoF

      Didn’t read the whole thing yet. But seems our anarchist friend missed the chance to advocate for more gun control, to match his longstanding advocacy that government regulation is the key to controlling corporate power, and that April 15 should be a day of celebration for Americans. Perhaps he is still not red-redpilled on the subject yet.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Chomsky’s living proof that intelligence in one area is no guarantee of intelligence in another.

      • Derpetologist

        I’d say he’s proof that lying and ass-kissing are the keys to stable employment.

      • Q Continuum

        I’m not sure how intelligent Chomsky is in general.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        At 86, the man married a woman more than 30 years his junior.

        Game respects game.

      • DiegoF

        Plenty. Also arrogant as fuck tho, though not necessarily an unpleasant person. He is one of those people who don’t apply their intelligence very well outside their wheelhouse, though they think they do. I do not imagine Noam Chomsky knows very much about atmospheric science, or even philosophy of science, to be able to understand the claims being made much more than the average uneducated person.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Much of Chomsky’s work has been in the philosophy of science though. He has always been an ardent defender of scientific rationalism, and single-handedly brought the discipline of linguistics much closer to analytic philosophy, applied mathematics, and the natural sciences, where as before it was more closely aligned with the humanities and social sciences.

      • DiegoF

        I would call him a philosopher of psychology or philosopher of mind at the very broadest. He is sufficiently a pioneer to his discipline that he certainly qualifies as a philosopher of that discipline, i.e. a philosopher of linguistics (which he would insist, not without controversy even within the mainstream discipline) is a branch of psychology. At that he is fairly decent.

        In the field of natural language syntax his role as revolutionary figure was enormous, of a magnitude you only rarely see in any science in any period. Nonetheless, you exaggerate his role and completely misrepresent the condition of the field before his arrival. Agreed about him being an ardent enemy of postmodernism, however, and a valuable one on the extreme Left–his old-school “street cred” probably works wonders for the cause in general; no purplehaired punk is going to have the cheek to call Noam Chomsky a fascist.

  47. Derpetologist

    The Occupation Of Iraq: A Radical Experiment in Libertarian Ideology
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKzC72Fclm4

    Truly Thom Hartmann is a philosopher king, straddling the earth like an intellectual Colossus.

    • Hyperion

      That’s sarcasm, right? No one is that dumb.

      • Derpetologist

        “No one is that dumb.”

        There was a time when I believed this, but then I kept reading things like this:

        Exchange students in Italy set fire by cooking pasta without water

        see post 29 for details

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Afraid not, he’s serious.

    • DiegoF

      I am a little fellow so I only straddle the earth like an intellectual Wolverine.

  48. trshmnstr

    Kinda dead tonight. Everybody watching basketball instead?

    • DiegoF

      I always assumed people always posted here while in the midst of doing something else simultaneously.

      • hayeksplosives

        And if by “doing something” you mean drinking, then yes.

    • hayeksplosives

      Not I. I don’t care for roundball. Watching the Blackhawks lose to Vancouver.

      I spent a good bit of my evening filling out forms and doing stuff to prepare for the move to San Diego. 9 Days!!! Yikes!!

      • trshmnstr

        !! Good luck! Hopefully the move goes well.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks. It will be what it will be. In a year, it will all be well behind me. We’ll muddle through somehow.

    • TK

      Watching The Looking Tower on Hulu right now. I usually don’t hop on after 6, do people keep posting all night?

  49. hayeksplosives

    I had my Farewell social with my work peeps last night. Went from 4:30pm to midnight. Naturally, i was there for the whole thing. It was epic.

    This morning, the department was a ghost town. What a bunch of lightweights! 🙂

    • TK

      That’s pretty much how it goes when I travel for work. If it isn’t with coworkers, it’s with customers.

    • Q Continuum

      When’s the move?

      • hayeksplosives

        I am going out with only 2 suitcases to a fully furnished corporate apartment on March 31. Hubby is staying behind to oversee the pack and move of our stuff, then he’ll join me in 3-5 weeks afterwards. The company will store our stuff for 90 days while we apartment/house hunt.

        It’s happening crazy fast!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. Is there time for a quick Minnesoda Glibs bon voyage meetup?

      • hayeksplosives

        Maybe? I expect to put in some late days working next week to tie off things as neatly as possible for my current employer, so Friday-Sat-Sunday would be the best opportunities.

        Any of those work? If not, we’ll have to shoe-horn something in on a weekday eve.

    • hayeksplosives

      “It’s not illegal; it’s just unregulated. There’s a bloody difference.”