“You really need to stop reading that, you know,” the hair said calmly. “It’s just going to get you upset.”
“Fuck that, fuck you, fuck Comey and fuck everything!” the hat screeched.
“Well, at least Chris Cillizza doesn’t like it. He said much of it was such petty and mean.”
“Chris Cillizza? CHRIS FUCKFACE CILLIZZA?!?” The hat shook with rage and he and his advance copy of A Higher Loyalty fell off the desk.
The hair peered over the side. The hat was still shaking and the book had opened as it fell and embraced him like a lover. “Are you OK?”
“Do I look FUCKING OK?!?”
Donald stormed in, bald and red-faced, the USA hat jammed on his head sideways. “Well, hey there fellas!” it said in a thick drawl.
“Can this day get worse?” the hair muttered.
Sarah waddled in after Donald, a large piece of pie in each hand. Her face was already smeared with sticky-sweet red goo.
“Can’t we keep this from being published? Can I sue him? I have fantastic lawyers. The best lawyers. I want to sue him,” Donald said. He was in a filthy bathrobe that flapped open as he paced the Oval Office.
“I don’t think so, Mr. President,” Sarah said thickly, pie crust spraying out.
“A tariff then. A tariff. Tariffs work great. Look at China. Tariffs have them completely cowed. Cowed? Is that the right word? Cowed? It sounds weird as I keep saying it. Cowed. Cowed. Cowed.”
“Uh, I, uh, I don’t think you can put a, uh, tariff on a book published in the US.”
“Why not?” Donald demanded.
“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Sarah said and took a huge bite of pie.
“Well, I’m asking you right now,” Donald said.
“You’re gonna,” Sarah paused to swallow, “Have to ask the President about that directly.”
“I AM THE PRESIDENT!” Donald roared. The hat and hair snickered. The USA hat guffawed.
“Sir?” Sarah asked. A goo-slathered cherry fell from one of her pieces of pie and hit the Presidential Seal.
“DIBS!” the hat yelled out.
“What about bombing? Can we just bomb the publisher? They won’t even see it coming… or will they?” Donald leaned on his desk casually and the hair yelped under him.
“I don’t think so, sir,” Sarah said miserably.
“We have time. We won’t need all our bombs for Syria, right? Like we can spare two or three, right?”
“You’ll have to ask General Mattis about that,” she said.
“Mattis. That all anybody says.” His voice went up into a falsetto. “‘Don’t tweet military plans; Mattis wouldn’t like it. Don’t taunt Rocket Man; Mattis wouldn’t like it. Don’t put pics of the Defense Center Codebooks on Instagram for Vlad; Mattis wouldn’t like it.’ I’m so fucking sick of that old fart. What is the use of advisors that won’t tell you to do whatever you want?”
“I don’t know, sir” Sarah mumbled around a mouthful of pie.
“What’s with this?” Donald asked, waving his hands. “What’s with the pie?”
“Sir?” she asked again, cocking her head like a dog.
“The pie. The pie. The pie that you are eating!” Donald pointed the piece of pie in each of her hands.
“I get low blood sugar in the afternoons,” Sarah replied.
“Is your blood sugar low now?” Donald asked sardonically.
“I get low blood sugar in the afternoons,” Sarah said robotically.
“The pie. It’s disgusting. It’s like a cheap set-up for a fat girl joke,” Donald said. “Get rid of it.”
“I wear a size 12,” Sarah said, almost in a whisper. “Size 12 is the average dress size for an American woman.”
“I wouldn’t even watch you piss on a motel bed,” Donald said, sneering.
“Sir?”
The hat coughed theatrically from the floor.
“Not that Melania thinks there is even a 1% chance I’d ever do that,” Donald said rapidly.
“Size 12 is the average dress size for an American woman,” Sarah said again. Tears were streaming down her face, raccooning her eye make-up, mixing dark rivulets into the red on her face.
“Ah like a girl with a little meat on ‘er bones,” the USA hat said.
Sarah broke and ran from the Oval Office, sobbing, her pie-filled hands bobbing up and down.
“Jesus, Donald,” the hair said.
“Thank fucking God,” the hat said. “It was really starting to stink like fat bitch in here.”
“Thank fucking God,” the hat said. “It was really starting to stink like fat bitch in here.”
That tapped into an ol’ factory memory. Thanks a lot.
*recalls an unfortunate seating assignment on a flight fifteen years ago, nods*
First.
Also, is Sarah your sublimated desire for sugary treats emerging in your writing?
Or not first. *sad trombone*
A Higher Loyalty. JFC. I’ve been busy the last few days, so I thought SF made that title up. Loyalty to what?
The deep state, duh.
Maybe we can get Mythical Libertarian Woman to make a mock cover for it.
I would love that. Her covers are always great.
A Hired Loyalty: Pensions, Piss and Leaks.
Even the book cover stinks of pompous faux righteousness.
Name in largest font. Perfect.
Yeah, I’ve been busy too, other than popping in here from time to time. Haven’t kept up with current “news”. It feels like trying to jump onto a merry go round that’s already up to speed.
That’s quite the scowl that girl has there. Is that her pie face, or pee face, or is it her pee pie face? Is that why the Donald keeps her around. Find out in epeesode 2.
“He was in a filthy bathrobe that flapped open as he paced the Oval Office.”
I feel like this could have been explored further.
Perv.
There’s always next time
I’d like to think that SF was not so preoccupied with whether or not he could that he didn’t stop to think if he should. I’m inclined to think he just missed an opportunity here though.
With that piece of shit Comey making the rounds today (god, how great is it that he was shit canned?), I found this bit most entertaining:
Comey: It’s Possible Trump was with hookers ‘peeking on each other’
He acts like in this instance that Trump was the problem, and not his political enemies who came up with the bogus story and the FBI which took them seriously. Like, you assholes invented the story with the help of Dem political operatives, but now you want to act like he’s to blame and hold him in disdain for it. Trump made them do it!
More to the point, the media has learned little. Comey even less. That story breaking was the most damaging thing to happen to the entire Russian narrative because most people took one look at it and just laughed and thought it was fucking retarded. And now you have Comey’s pompous and fraudulent ass out there saying it’s “possible.” I mean, it’s also possible Obama fucked a horse. I can’t disprove that one, either.
Trump paying prostitutes to piss on a mattress out of spite isn’t out of the realm of possibility to me (Obama fucking a horse is probably slightly less likely). But I don’t know, I’m crazy. I think if we’re going to start talking about how something is “possible” (implying that it could be true here), then you should have, I don’t know, some god damn evidence first. They have none. Trump acting indignantly to a story coming from the FBI doesn’t make Trump look bad. It makes the FBI and that fuck Comey look bad.
I didn’t even read Sugarfree’s story. I’m just fucking topical.
Everything is possible, not much is probable.
Former head of the premier law enforcement agency In. The. World. wrote a tell all book about people who are currently under investigation. This is just unreal.
I’m not drunk enough for this world.
And I’m trying.
I’m failing today, but I generally succeed. I’ll be lucky to make 60, but it might be worth.
Seriously he went to south by southwest as a performer. If this is what all of those qualifications amount to, we are getting ripped off. I could do just as bad of a job as he did and write two books for half what he got paid.
Famous But Incompetent
Comey hasn’t denied being fucked by a horse either, as far as I know.
But I did hear he made Rudolph give him a hoof job.
Now, As you well know, Rudolph was high key thicc
lol
What about Donner and Blitzen?
Mike and trsh look a little loopy now.
Who’s leg did Gustave hump to get a completely unnecessary edit?
This is “exhibit A” why we do not need an edit button.
What edit? I wrote the thing and I’m missing what was fixed.
“Comey” used to be “Comet”
Dammit!
And just for the record, I humped no leg.
“The pie. The pie. The pie that you are eating!” Donald pointed the piece of pie in each of her hands.
She should have brought enough for everyone.
I’m exceeding the booze limit for the week with some Free Will Community Kölsch.
Free Willy, the beer that uses whale meat, sounds more interesting.
Should have a picture of Adam taking a bite out of the apple on it.
A well made Kolsch is a wonderful thing. I hit up a couple stops on the Summit County beer trail tonight, one was disappointing, the other wasn’t bad, but really overcharged for a growler fill ($20 for a Pils, and I had brought my own growler).
That is a bit pricey.
Yeah… most places will sell a fill for between $8-$15 based on the ABV of the beer. I ordered it before I saw the price menu hanging on the wall. It was also the first place where they weighed my growler after filling it. It’s not likely that I’ll be going back to that place for a growler fill any time soon.
What in the world is the weigh-in for?
Yeah, that weigh-in sounds odd. I can’t think of why the place would weigh a growler.
I can’t think of a good reason, but it may be to confirm they only gave 64 oz. of beer out. But if you’re that concerned about 4-5 oz. of beer either way, you’ve got other troubles.
I don’t care what Pan says; I like USA Hat.
You know, it would be kind of cool for an expert cartoonist to include the USA Hat in an episode…
We need to find an expert cartoonist to find out.
So you’re not in fact the greatest American ever born.
You are instead The Devil, who often lures men with sweet promises and gifts, then reveals his true nature later on.
A music icon, struck down.
Link?
My hearing is totally fucked. 50 years of rock n roll, power tools, shooting, etc. has taken the toll.
Youngsters: wear hearing protection! All the fucking time!
I found this one.
Sad. They had some good songs.
I didn’t bother because it’s
a) a very short article
b) too local
But just for you
Thank you.
I love that guy. Taking a bar band to the big time is no easy feat.
I want a new drug!
I also have great love for Huey Lewis and the News.
His success was likely helped though by the pact that he made with the devil.
Well, he was fantastic in Die Hard
Huey Lewis, before the News
^ this times 1000, I’m as Fucked as you are Tundra
WHAT?
“I let her take advantage of me”
What a shitlord, doesn’t he know that’s not possible? It’s men who take advantage of women!
Huey Lewis “Small World Part 2”. Stan Getz on this one.
I want a Friday night to myself and the MIL goes and fucks it up. Scotch with the FIL at dinner might make up for up.
When they ask what you are reading, oblige them.
The FIL is great. A bit out there…thinks everything is a government ploy to take away our freedoms. A good guy. MIL thinks Michelle Obama has a dick. I love the family I married into.
You have a strange definition of “out there.”
You are right…its his delivery I think otherwise it is spot on.
Out there is code for spot on.
Just offer to say Grace, then read the story out loud.
Nice. That one was loaded pretty full. Almost as full as Sarah’s mouth full of pie. I like pie.
The pic is of pumpkin pie, but I’m pretty sure she was eating cherry pie in the story. Raises deep questions.
Lies! CALUMNY!
It’s probably a chocolate pecan pie considering the weird pie kerfuffle she went through around Thanksgiving.
Chocolate pecan pie sounds delicious.
Always thought I hated the taste of walnuts and pecans. Was in a situation where it would’ve been impolite to turn a praline cheesecake down, and it turned out I’m just allergic to them, and actually like the way they taste quite a bit…I’ve never had pecan pie.
That is a terrible allergy to have.
I think I was happier thinking I was just a picky jerk telling people I was allergic so I didn’t have to eat them.
I thought *I* was the picky jerk around here.
Oh, you still are.
It’s OK. Also known as Derby or May Day pie in Kentucky. I don’t really care for it. A finely made pecan pie is a balance of flavor and texture. A handful of chocolate chips thrown into the pie goo–that usually don’t even melt–adds nothing for my taste.
I’m kind of a purist when it comes to pecan pie. And yes, the custard/pecan ratio has to be just right, as does the sugar level in the custard.
Forgot about that. Point given. Still, there are no cherries in that pie, either.
So SF screwed the pooch on the pie?
That pie was last Thanksgiving. Sarah eats many types of pie. She contains multitudes (of pies.)
Hey now. I’m the only one here allowed to reference degenerate anime.
Says who?
Says me.
Lucoa is an excellent choice for a Glib anime mascot
Someone should create a Glib-chan.
To re-iterate: “Your amateur American anime’artist’ were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” If they do it should def be “Glib-tan” though, just for the extra cringe.
Challenge accepted.
Gotta love cable news.
TOPMEN!
LOL those are great
Great find Ted!
OT: Anyone else notice this “ESPN+” horseshit? This is like the third network in the last year to offload content that used to be included in my cable subscription onto an extra-pay streaming service. Motherfuckers! Cable keeps complaining about people leaving gee I wonder why that is.
The NHL app doesn’t have the audio for the playoff games, as far as I can tell.
They say you can listen to the Devils games at wfan.com, but nooooooo, they wanted to download ANOTHER FUCKING APP and waste space on my phone with it. I’d much rather listen streaming from a site or, for podcasts, an RSS feed with downloadable MP3s.
I’m not aware of ESPN showing any hockey? Every game I watch is on either one of the MSG’s or the Hockey Network. For now.
Or NBC Sports. Which started charging extra for English soccer but apparently not yet hockey.
Fox Sports relegated one of the CL quarterfinals in each leg to their pay streaming service. You’ll recall I was pissed they did it to Bayern.
ESPN doesn’t. But I like to listen to the games.
The NHL app has all (as far as I can tell) the live audio during the regular season, but now that it’s the playoffs? Nope!
Radio.com was actually streaming the game so I could listen to it from the browser on my smartphone while I was at my desktop computer.
Ah. How quaint 🙂
https://news.avclub.com/it-would-be-awesome-if-neil-degrasse-tyson-would-shut-i-1825241326/amp
Ha!
Awesome.
What an Asshole “statement of fact” oh Look at me all Factual me Smart!!
He is right that there’s just as many Thursday the 12ths as Friday the 13ths.
That’s Nobel-worthy stuff there.
One part of that which everyone seems to miss is that Polio was cured a few years before he was born. He never would have used “awesome” to describe that vaccine because he has no memory of a world without it
He should be ignored if he’s talking about anything other than astrophysics. Case in point: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2016/03/11/neil-degrasse-tyson-is-super-wrong-about-how-sex-works/
I’m not a super smart science person like him, but even I knew how deeply ignorant his statement was.
He should also probably be ignored when talking about astrophysics, but as fortune has it almost everyone is ignored when talking about astrophysics, whether they deserve it or not, so no worries.
Holy Springtime fellow Glibs.
I drove through hail, wind, and rain so hard this afternoon that I couldn’t see the road. The same storm system dropped a tornado about 3 miles from house. Ah, the lovely annual Arkansas tradition of hoping that your house isn’t smashed by a tornado. Good times.
Also, good work SF. I like this one.
This week has been strange. Yesterday and today we were in the 80’s with sun. Saturday and Sunday are supposed to be in the 70’s with thunderstorms. Monday, there’s a chance of snow.
Here in our corner of the Midwest we had an 80-degree day…to be followed by snow tomorrow. Great excuse to shirk on the yard work.
The forecasts here have been… volatile. As recently as three days ago they thought it would be sunny and 75 here tomorrow, and OK after that. Now it’s supposed to be low 50s tomorrow with below-freezing highs and freezing rain on Sunday. Eliot was right, and Chaucer can go fuck himself. There’s nothing spoote about the coming week as far as I can tell. I was promised some soote, and I want some soote.
80 degrees in NYC today. Sixties now… beautiful! Back to the thirties by Monday.
It’s been a wierd spring so far. The end of last week saw Temps in the upper twenties and snow flurries. It’s been around 80 the past few days. The strong thunderstorms today are the most normal spring weather we have had so far.
The tornado that system dropped apparently went up to mountainburg and dam aged 160 structures. No fatalities. That is good.
Porn stars talk about how they got their names. Borderline NSFW. Interestingly, only one references a street she grew up on. None reference pets.
So, Thumper Tustin doesn’t work for me eh?
So…they’re all lying?
I like to tell everyone I grew up (partially) on Bonesteel Street.
That channel seems to find the ugliest/most unappealing porn stars. And, while the work doesn’t necessarily correlate with intelligence, many of them just seem dumber than advertised.
https://twitter.com/MaxBoot/status/984907807584542720
Max Boot is not well. I’m sure the bombings will cheer him up. Nothing pleases a neocon more than dead Arabs
His other tweet, “Impeachment day after tomorrow”.
Trump broke him
“Let’s Start A War!” Said Donny One Day
The missiles are flying to Syria! Hallejuah!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj9M34DzAKo
https://twitter.com/craig_steger/status/984962957800083456
Let’s HAVE a War! Fear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUxkFCBPgx4
Just in case you didn’t know what I was referencing… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFzHwD9xiqM
I had a The Exploited t-shirt at one point; where it went I’ll never know. Some girl probably stole it.
Was constantly in the rotation for me at 14, along with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TJmF1Lo5fU (no offense intended to NYC homosexuals, who Fear clearly wanted to disarm.) And “Beef Bologna” is a classic of American rock and roll.
Of course when I was _late_ 14 I’d started to think that “The Gun Club” was a much better and unmissable band in the same vein.
“You cowardly bastard! You’re not the voice of the people! The people speak through me! It came to me while I slept– my destiny. I must get up now and fulfill my destiny! Put your hand on that, or I’ll hack it off! Do it!”
https://twitter.com/DianneG/status/984960514714488832
Man up, bitches! We’re about to bomb some freedom into those Syrians!
#merica
“Oh shit, we freedom’d that guy right in half”
“And that little girl is exploding with freedom!”
It’s working! We won the battle for hearts and minds- they’re spattered all over Damascus!
#merica
Remember when folks said Trump would be different?
In these troubled times, we cling to whatever illusory scraps of hope we can.
I’m not proud.
I remember when he was a crypto isolationist to some even after frothing at the mouth and threatening to “knock the shit out of ISIS”
Until he ordered the bombing of Syria
Then he wanted put of Syria
Then he wanted to bomb them again
This guy is quite the isolationist, not a globalist. Amirite?
This is all just a bargaining tactic for when he meets Kim.
Art of the Deal!
And if you disagreed with that you were horrid?
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Somewhere on the Internet there’s Pepperidge Farm porn.
Not on pornhub.
I have been busy as hell the past few days. So, catching up today, I hear we are going to bomb the Syrians because the Syrians gassed the other syrians.
Fucking morons. I see absolutely no upside to this. none.
Why do you hate freedom so much, Lach?
We are currently doing it. Trump just got done rambling on TV.
Great. I hate our government. I’m guessing this is one of those humanitarian bombings? It’s like these people have no souls.
“This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”
It is being reported now that it is not just a couple of missiles. A second wave of bombing is starting.
Let’s have a War, Jack up the Dow Jones
Let’s have a War, blame it on the middle class,
Let’s have a War, Kill a homeowner,
Let’s have a War, give guns to the Queers!
Kill a homeowner is from Disconnected, not Let’s Have a War
I just listened to it, so……
I suck, you are right
/hangs drunken head in Clouds of poison gas
They speak a weird language and their skin is tanned. It’s all good, man. Mass genocide is totally woke so long as it trolls Putin, so says the Left. And Bill Kristol is happy. Why can’t you be happy for Bill Kristol?
Ah, yes.
Killing foreigners. One thing the left and the right can always agree on. I expect glowing coverage of this.
And John McCain…maybe he’ll be so happy it kills him!
**crosses fingers**
Is that Hair Of The Dog?
Yeah, BP brought them up in the afternoon links, and I remembered how cool that cover was.
Son of a bitch!
*rhythmic sounds of skin-to-skin contact*
Yaaassssssss, we go boom-boom on the brownies!! My frahnds, join in my celebration!
*switches to his other hand and continues masturbating to night vision video of Damascus*
Bill Kristol nutted into a sock
Fuck.
America shrugs and eats another pie.
What kind of pie?
Romanian
And so “pie” is being used as a metaphor? Because I might go for some Romanian pie
It’s bloody delicious.
Nice to see Trump’s foreign policy is just as shitty as his predecessors.
Once he picked Bolton, the course of action was pretty much sealed
Christ, what assholes.
Yes
But will this get people distracted from Stormy and the Comey interview this weekend?
Wouldn’t be the first time a Prez has bombed to get everyone distracted.
We couldn’t have gotten a better gov than this, We deserve it, good and hard…..
Don’t blame me; I voted third party.
Rocky de la Fuente, wasn’t it?
If voting made a difference, they would never let us do it .
He’s a hugely successful businessman who tells it like it is and isn’t a politically correct wimp, he’s going to drain the swamp and build a wall and bring back all the jobs China snuck over here and stole from us. A few useless wars is a small price to pay.
YES! Fuck human lives- we’re owning the progs! We’re going to freedom the shit out of Syria!
#merica
That’s ‘human bodies’ now.
I believe you are correct, sir
I mean, I was hopeful that it wouldn’t be, but cmon – we always knew this day would eventually come.
Pray that we didn’t just start WWlll.
WE didn’t, we just decided to stick our Collective nose in the current troubles
True. Russia will blink before it gets too bad. Isn’t it great that we are counting on Putin not too be the insane one?
I hope you are right.
I read something like that today, me i like Putin in a Dr. Evil kind of way, and he is worried his super Duper Defense missile systems won’t work, and he won’t get Export sales, and then has a Sad…..
Lyndsey Graham is very pleased, which means I am very much not.
Lindsey Graham nutted into a dirty sock
Do you think they gave him a heads-up before the bombing so he could climax as they were being dropped?
He probably paid extra for some hot live PPV. So much more satisfying than scrambled Spice Channel.
“Look, look! If you can saying, you can totally see a JDAM eviscerating a house through the snow!”
If you can SQUINT…..fuck you autocorrect
All he’s missing is a reach around from McCain.
Just think, he could have ridden on the missile himself, like Slim Pickens.
According to Putin it started awhile ago but nobody wanted to admit it except him. This might seal the deal. Who knows.
Also, Congress is a giant pile of shit for not getting rid of the AUMF a decade ago. There was a time in this country when the president couldn’t just go about starting wars whenever he felt like it.
Neither party wants to stop a president from waging illegal wars. It’s unconscionable
For to do so makes one a “Wacko Bird”
Seriously, who ever took that decrepit old prick’s pejorative to heart anyway?
I guess a lot of members of Congress. Bipartisanship
Wacko Bird!
When? pre 1974? maybe…..
Like Ryan was the first… Piss off pseudo Lib…..
*standing ovation*
I’m in a Fucking bad mood over this, and for once, so is my Wife. Massie, Amash, Loud voices in the Wilderness, signifying nothing…..
Better than there being no voices in opposition. Cold comfort but beats complete despair.
And the Senate Murdered Caesar, no Bodies, no problem, Like i said, I’m fed up, sorry to be all shit about it
Isn’t it the Ides of April?
https://twitter.com/OrangeCombover/status/984967923415465984
You don’t understand Trump realpolitik. That was BEFORE claims of a few dozen bodies foaming at the mouth from possible, unconfirmed chlorine bombs. Besides, Trump’s never been a fiscal conservative. #MAGA
Anyone remember the Invasion Caravan? That entire story started with ONE Buzzfeed story about ONE Activist doing something He does every Year. Fast Forward…
Several Different News services are reporting that, AGAIN, the whole Dead kid and Gas attacks were staged, and Our Gov. Backs the White Helmet groups that staged it. And We are in Syria Why? Congress ignoring their FUCKING JOB! and not declaring War, The Republic is Lost, I’m Afraid……
OTOH, the William Tell Overture, Hell Yes!
God dammit! We need to be more like Euro….
Oh.
The West likes a little tantrum bombing. It’s a collective moral imperative.
Whenever they mention our “partners” I laugh. It’s cute that France likes to pretend.
Closer than the Canadians, only one or two U.S. Refueling stops away
They catered the affair.
Hey now…In 1997, in Sarajevo, I got Sunday breakfast at a location the French were running…I hadn’t eaten that well in…decades.
https://twitter.com/drawandstrike/status/984966497994006528
“OK- so Trump bombed Syria like he said he wouldn’t, but this is totally different because Trump is….um…….Obama or something”
MotherFUCKER, stop spending my money on this shit. Take your social security payments and bankroll your own mercenary force. Cocksucker.
Charles Krauthammer nutted into a soiled silk dress sock
Classy
Spot the Not: James Comey
1. Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it’s up to me to lie in it.
2. For me, law school was a time of joy and hope.
3. The Internet is the most dangerous parking lot imaginable.
4. We investigate in secret so that we don’t smear innocent people.
5. Our obligation is to refuse to let bad win, to refuse to let evil hold the field.
6. I’m a big fan of the rule of law.
1 is too hackneyed even for Comey
Good job. That one is from The Tick.
“And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.”
3
6
Example number ten gazillion of “But the Childrunz!”. Dead kid washes up on a beach? School shooting? Chlorine/Sarin attack? Vagina march in DC? Trump’s vulgar language? Etc. Etc. Always with the media flashing pics or telling stories about the childrunz getting abused, harmed, victimized if it serves the correct narrative. Dead kids from USA! bombs? Kid crying over his parent’s casket after the parent is left defenseless after commun sense gun control? Kids raped in Rotherham? Kid whose dad loses his job based on false rape allegations? Can’t have pictures of these in the news.
I have it on good authority that you hate children, straff
True. Point stands, though.
Ironic, today I recieved in the mail my copy of Fool’s errand that I ordered last week. Quite fitting.
Sounds like rain on your wedding day. Or perhaps the free advice that you’ve already paid good money for. Or dare I even suggest 10,000 spoons, when all you needed to compete your table setting was a single knife?
God dammmmm it – now I have an earworm.
Much respect to Dave Coulier.
I’ve fallen into a weird place where I keep picturing Alan Tudyk when I read “Dave Coulier”. Tudyk isn’t even Canadian.
That’s not ironic. Irony is when you led an anti-knife campaign, only to have your life saved by one.
That song should be called “Isn’t it annoying”
Sounds like the good advice that one just decided not to take after all.
I’m not drunk, but I’m not not drunk.
Could you dumb it down a shade?
Oh, I hate that song.
I’ve always thought there ought to be a term for calling un-ironic things ironic as Morisette does. ‘Moronic’ is the obvious portmanteau but I’m afraid the word is already in use. Still- “isn’t it moronic, don’t you think” has a certain ring to it.
Just in case anyone was wondering, there’s nothing ironic about an insect in a glass of wine, That’s at worst unfortunate and at best a source of protein.
As for having ten thousand forks when all you need s a knife… I’m pretty sure I could trade ten thousand forks for a knife.
And then there’s crashing airliners.. OK, not going there.
Or, Zika.
Now, If that happened at some kind of benefit-mixer to help eradicate diseases in Africa…
But could you trade 10,000 spoons for a knife?
It’s like a black fly in your chardonnay, that was specifically purchased to repel black flies.
There. Now that’s ironic.
A great read. Though,I don’t think “enjoyable” is the right word.
Hey hey, sodium iodide pills 50 percent off. Send your cash to StinkyWizzleteats@fuckthisshit.com
Is it Ironic that song isn’t actually ironic despite its title.
Yes, but how the song has now become the iconic example of non-irony is ironic so full circle…what once was shall always be and so on and so forth…
Irony.
The one true description.
Are you recycling non sequiturs from the 90’s?
What’s the deal with Ovaltine?
A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch.
Why do they call it Ovaltine? The jar is round. The mug is round. They should call it ’roundtine’
Wikipedia knows all:
They didn’t have all that information in the Seinfeld episode
No mention of Little Orphan Annie?
More Ovaltine, please!
*waggles eyebrows*
OMWC would do her.
I came up with this idea that people could come up with the same idea even though they’d never interacted. Parallel thinking.
I agree
Yes. Let’s bomb an aspirin factory.
I’m not wearing flannel again.
But it’s so soft and cozy though.
What about cargo pants from the late 90’s?
FYI those never went out of style
I wear cargo shorts all the time. And I look good in them.
#MeToo
You don’t cover up legs that look this good.
Depends what’s in the pockets. Dave Matthews CD?
The CDs go in the pleather fanny pack.
*thunderous ovation*
Something About the Millennium El Camino?
What if God was one of us glibs?
Just a slob like all of us?
It would explain a lot, actually.
Sad end to a sick story.
Sloopy linked to that story about them weeks ago. What a massive head shaker.
Well it got worse from the story Sloopy linked. The biological father killed his daughter, their child, and his daughter’s adoptive father. And then killed himself when the police caught up to them.
“That should be ME bombing Syria!!!” /Hillary Clinton finishing her second bottle of chardonnay and throwing the glass at the wall
LOL.
I will truly lose my shit if I hear a “progressive” whining about Trump bombing Syria.
supposed to get 10-20 inches of snow this weekend. Fuck winter.
I’d been blasting AC for days this week, then Friday morning was driving to work in flurries of snow.
Where?
Damn, from the storms this afternoon
I get your weather eight hours later.
Posted earlier for the Glibfitters, again for you folks: A candid shot on the set while filming Hat and Hair Episode two.
Why does Trump look like a rebel alien?
Unsolicited criticism. The hat looks better in ¾ profile like in the page header. When he’s straight on something seems off, maybe the eyes are too big.
YOU COVETETH MY ICE CREAM BAR!
It does look delicious.
A relevant song and a damn good one too.
https://youtu.be/9qbRHY1l0vc
Ever get that feeling of deja deja vu?
Is that upthread, did I fuck that up? My bad if I did.
Oh, please stay with the PTM avatar. Not enough of him around these days.
Are you saying you want to gnaw on me? I’m sure we could arrange a meet up.
Well, I do cling tenaciously to buttocks…
I think it may be HM’s influence.
Another antiwar song because why not.
https://youtu.be/K3b6SGoN6dA
Is it possible that Agile Cyborg is a bird?
Fine fowl move before the moon
Cluck, manatee, cluck.
You with the synthetic eye, mind burning from Tyre until the modern calls out the end. Imperial Purple? Dress yourself as such.
-May said there was “no practicable alternative” to the use of force against Assad.-
Sure there was. You could’ve went and fucked yourself instead.