Wednesday Afternoon Links – The Hat and The Hair: Episode 70

by | Apr 11, 2018 | Daily Links, Hat and Hair | 556 comments

“‘Gas Killing Animal?’” the hair asked. “Will everyone know that’s Assad?”

“Of course they will,” the hat replied. “He’s an Animal that Killed his own people with Gas. I think that’s very clear. Learn to read for context, dipshit.”

“OK, but why put ‘smart’ in quotes? When you put something in quotes you are implying the opposite, i.e. that the weapons are dumb.”

“I.e? I fucking E? You talk like such a fag.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Look,” the hat said, pushing the hair away, “I’m the one tweeting here, so you fuck off.”

“Wait, wait,” Donald interrupted from the couch.

“Yes, Donald? You have something to add?” the hat asked.

“Like, what’s it called when you fart in bed, you know, when someone else in the bed and you fart?”

“That’s a Hot Carl,” the hat said.

“No, it’s not. That’s a Dutch Oven,” the hair replied.

“Then what’s a Hot Carl?” the hat asked.

“That’s pooping on a girl’s chest,” Donald replied.

“No, that’s a Cleveland Steamer,” the hair said.

“Then what’s a Hot Carl?” the hat asked again.

“That’s putting Saran Wrap over a girl’s face and then pooping on it,” the hair replied.

“Is that right?” Donald asked, confused.

“Holy fuck, just look it up on Urban Dictionary,” the hair said.

“Hold on, one second,” the hat said, furiously typing on Donald’s phone.

“Who writes on this Urban Dictionary? Just black people?” Donald asked.

“No, anybody can write in. It’s just a slang dictionary,” the hair replied.

The hat cackled loudly and there was the noise of another tweet being sent.

“What did you do?” the hair asked.

“Fuck ‘em,” the hat said. “Just let them try and figure that one out.”

“So what is it when you fart in bed?” Donald asked. “Do black people know? Did they put it in their dictionary?”

“That’s a Dutch Oven,” the hair insisted.

“Do black people fart in bed a lot?” Donald wondered.

“Everyone farts in bed,” the hat said. “It’s a universal constant, like the speed of light in a vacuum or Ethan Hawke’s terrible hair.”

“The Urban Dictionary is for everyone, Donald,” the hair said.

“Who is Ethan Hawke?” Donald asked.

“He’s so rich he looks homeless!” the hat said.

“He’s a very dated cultural reference,” the hair said. The hat growled in response.

“So you fart in bed and that’s a Dutch Oven,” Donald said. “What is it when you hold your Meliana under the covers and fart?”

“That’s also a Dutch Oven,” the hair said.

“Or, if you are in England, a Cotswold Bumbershoot,” the hat said. He sent another tweet.

“What is it when you hold your Melania under the covers and fart but instead a lot of poop comes out?” Donald asked.

“Are you feeling, OK, Donald?” the hair asked gently.

“Like, a lot of poop,” Donald continued.

The hat paused briefly and said, “Donald, that’s called a New Jersey Casserole.”

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

556 Comments

  1. Q Continuum

    You know who else killed his own people with gas?

    • PBRstreetgang

      Ernest Borgnine?

    • Tonio

      Any driver who stopped at Chipotle during a family road trip?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Ahh, the magic that is the locking button for the power windows.

      • Playa Manhattan

        That’s just one of the many consequences.

    • The Other Kevin

      According to Shwarzenegger, every oil exec?

    • LJW

      Abu Hassan?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Saddam Hussein

    • Pomp

      Me, when I hot boxed my wife last night with horrible decomposed squid farts.

      • Mad Scientist

        “That’s a Dutch Oven,” the hair insisted.

      • Chafed

        I salute you!

    • Ted S.

      John Christie?

    • Drake
    • MikeS

      Captain Murphy?

      • Mad Scientist

        “I will slaughter them like a wolf among lambs! The seas will run red with the blood of my enemies!”

    • Amashi

      Ted Hughes?

      • Homple

        Nice. Dark, but nice.

    • Mad Scientist

      Union Carbide?

    • topnotchtoledo

      Hank Hill’s boss?

    • Agent Cooper

      Chemical Ali, a/k/a Gaseous Clay?

  2. Juvenile Bluster

    If you include local BBSes, I’ve been “online” for about 30 years.

    I’ve never regretted reading a thing as much as I regret reading that.

    • Tonio

      Damn, you’re old. You should write a Glibs article on the BBS scene.

      • Q Continuum

        That and Text-Based RPGs.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *and Q was eaten by a grue*

      • Count Potato

        Are those rocket propelled grenades that only hurt college students?

      • Rasilio

        Pern Mushes where where all the women were

      • jesse.in.mb

        *experiences salt-induced kidney failure*

        If only there was some way for you to remedy this harm, Swiss.

      • whiz

        I remember playing Zork on my Commodore 64 — still have it somewhere in the basement, but haven’t fired it up in decades.

      • cyto

        Before I saved up enough to buy a disk drive, I would type games from the back of compute’s gazette. It would take a day or two… so you’d put a sign on the keyboard saying “Do Not Touch!” Then you’d get to play the game for a couple of days before you finally turned the system off, losing your game.

        Yeah… that was a pretty good incentive to save up for a drive. Ah… the good old 1541… 10 minutes to load “Larry Bird VS Dr. J”. Good times…

      • Cliche Bandit

        OMG YES lets get us some TW2K

      • Homple

        You can take my 300 bd acoustic coupled modem from…. Sorry I was napping again.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      32 years here, 33 if you include the year I spent lurking and trying to crash BBS’s

    • But Enough About Me

      Hey JB! What software did you run (or log in to)?

      Citadel / STadel / {fnord}adel was my preferred BBS s/w. Ran an STadel node for many years, met a lot of good people (a surprising number of which are still friends, with kids of their own, decades later).

    • Playa Manhattan

      ProComm?

    • Rasilio

      I mostly skipped the BBS scene but I first started hanging out on IRC as a College student in 1991 so that is like 27 years for me. In fact I met both my first and second wives on IRC

      • Playa Manhattan

        That’s where I met them too.

      • But Enough About Me

        Met my wife in the MBA program, but most of our still-extant friends on the BBSes. Used to do a Pizza Night every Thursday during Uni as a meet-up for these people. It was interesting to meet them IRL; some of them were as whacked as their online personas, while others were “severely normal.” Ended up doing baseball tourneys with them during the summers, attended a number of weddings (there were a surprising number of “nerd girls” amongst the BBSers who blossomed into lovely young women) and the spousal unit and I ended up being godparents to several sets of their children. IIRC, there was also a lot of overlap between the BBS and the SCA types, too. Never understood that.

    • Chipwooder

      My first foray online was getting an email as a college freshman in the fall of 1994, so 24 years for me.

    • whiz

      I exchanged email with research collaborators in the 80’s.

      Then there was IRC poker starting in the 90’s — I remember playing future WSOP champion Chris Ferguson in heads-up Omaha Hi-Lo.

    • Animal

      Usenet, baby. 1993 or so.

      • Count Potato

        alt.lifestyle.furry?

    • Gustave Lytton

      BBS since around 89 or 90. Usenet around 93 and full internet (such as it was) since 94.

      The pizza night meet up for BBS takes me back, although I never went to one.

  3. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

    A Sick Man SF, Sad. ever try Animation?

  4. Swiss Servator

    *twitches*

    I…I…think that was….good?

  5. Juvenile Bluster

    Jesus fuck this Champions League.

  6. Q Continuum

    Huge hooters and heart-shaped heinies are a harbinger of hunger for heterosexual harmony.

    http://archive.is/qhR7F

    I’d watch 65 collude with 49 anytime.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      3,25, 26, 26,26,26

    • The Other Kevin

      In the boobs vs buns battle, there are no losers.

      • Rasilio

        Boobs and buns are great but nothing beats a pretty face

      • Tundra

        Steve McQueen disagrees.

      • dontreadonme

        Can we not have BOTH?!?!?!?!

    • Gordilocks

      2,26,34,53

    • Count Potato

      #65

    • Bobarian LMD

      #69

      With each and every one of them.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Now, Los Angeles officials want to turn NIMBYism on its head — by paying property owners to put houses for homeless people in their backyards.

    In August, the county Board of Supervisors approved a $550,000 pilot program to build a handful of small backyard houses, or upgrade illegally converted garages, for homeowners who agree to host a homeless person or family. Then in February, Bloomberg Philanthropies awarded L.A. a $100,000 Mayor’s Challenge grant to study the feasibility of backyard homeless units within the city limits.

    They can turn anything to shit. Literally.

    • The Other Kevin

      I can hear the entire insurance industry having a stroke from here.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Worked on Happy Days.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Ayyyee!

      • Tonio

        Paging Just Saying…

      • invisible finger

        Didn’t work so well on Curb Your Enthusiasm

    • Tundra

      On the plus side, we’ll finally find out what happens when you run a lawn mover over used needles, shit and garbage.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Slab City?

      • Gordilocks

        They have grass?

      • Swiss Servator

        In a manner of speaking…

      • Homple

        You deserve at least a golf clap for that. Am I allowed to suggest one?

    • But Enough About Me

      These are referred to as “lane-way” homes (as in, built adjacent to the backlane on an existing home’s land) here in Vancouver.

      Of course, they’re still mid-six-figures to buy. The cheaply-built ones, that is.

    • Ted S.

      So they want trailer parks, only for the right type of people.

    • Playa Manhattan

      I agree to host them…. for 3 months.

      Thanks for building a rental unit on my property, dispshits!

    • Drake

      $550,000

      That’s what it would cost to get one family to agree.

  8. Pan Zagloba

    “Fuck ‘em,” the hat said. “Just let them try and figure that one out.”

    *pauses*

    I think that’s legit, 100% realistic description of The Donald’s tweeting process.

  9. Raven Nation

    UCL Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler but…

    Holy Shit!

    • Juvenile Bluster

      The last ~24 hours have been as insane as I can ever remember a Champions League week being.

      If [REDACTED] can take this one…

      • Q Continuum

        I’m lovin’ it. Down with [REDACTED].

      • Playa Manhattan

        Are you guys talking about Dungeons and Dragons?

      • Q Continuum

        Magic the Gathering.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      I love a good echo chamber, like Here 🙂

      • Suthenboy

        Apparently you missed my article monday

      • TK

        I just went back and read it. (I took sick leave from Glibs.com on Monday)

        Great article

      • Ted S.

        Did you post the link already or something?

  10. Pomp

    ?Hat and the Hair

  11. Sean

    The hat paused briefly and said, “Donald, that’s called a New Jersey Casserole.”

    I’m not checking if that’s real or not. I choose to believe it’s real.

    • Playa Manhattan

      It’s real now.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    The city is using its Bloomberg grant to study incentives, including construction subsidies and permit fee waivers, to entice homeowners to lend out their backyards. The city is also looking at new financing tools, a “concierge” to guide homeowners, an online portal with plans for in-law units and vendor lists and a matching service for homeowners and homeless tenants.

    The L.A. County pilot program will lend homeowners $75,000 to build a backyard house or $50,000 for a bootleg renovation for up to six units. The loan principal will be reduced each year the unit is occupied by a formerly homeless person and forgiven after 10 years, at which point homeowners can do as they wish with the housing.

    Let’s take transactions between what should be willing and motivated individuals and complicate and bureaucratize them until no sane person would want to risk being a part of it.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      So they’re subsidizing what was known as taking a boarder in an effort to recreate the wheel that their regulations broke.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sure. It’s the subsidize it if it stops moving part of the cycle.

    • whiz

      Yes, there are definitely easier ways to determine if humans can conceive in space…

    • Flawgic

      “The sperm – carried to the station on Elon Musk’s SpaceX Falcon 9…”

      Euphemism much?

  13. Viking1865

    Reposted from the old thread

    The cosmotarian influence continues. A “Libertarian” running against Dave Brat.

    http://www.richmond.com/news/virginia/government-politics/besides-democrats-rep-dave-brat-faces-libertarian-challenger-in-november/article_d039c20d-a5af-5c5a-9283-875eda420b4b.html?utm_source=RTD%20Email

    “Walton said he considers himself in the political middle and considered running as an independent or libertarian for Congress. He consulted with Bo Brown, chairman of the Libertarian Party of Virginia, and longtime Libertarian activist and former candidate Bill Redpath.”

    So not an actual libertarian.

    “On policy issues, he said, he thinks defense spending has grown out of proportion to the country’s needs, supports abortion rights, and is a gun owner who would support tighter background checks to keep guns away from those who would do harm to others.”

    Ah one of those “Ron Wyden” libertarians.

    I am going to go ahead and say that gun rights are the absolute litmus test for a libertarian candidate. If you’re not openly, unabashedly, and completely pro Second Amendment, you’re not a libertarian. There’s no libertarian case against gun rights.

    • Tonio

      Brat may be a little too Soconish for my tastes, but he’s one of the most consistently liberty-friendly congresscritters. Brat is also facing a cocerted effort to unseat him ny lefty soccer mom carpetbaggers. All Walton is doing is helping get Brat unseated.

      • Tonio

        Concerted…

      • Just Say'n

        What do you think is the point of a controlled opposition? What other purpose does the LP serve?

      • Winston

        They are proud of being spoilers. Hmm…

      • Just Say'n

        I’m looking forward to the ‘libertarian’ challenge to Massie

      • Tonio

        When a small-ell libertarian candidate does really well against a RINO it sends a message. Brat is not a RINO.

      • Just Say'n

        RINO or not (since a generic Republican isn’t much better), the Libertarian Party should be the ‘radical’ alternative. Not some milquetoast neoliberal shitbag

      • Just Say'n

        The average person should be frightened into voting for the Libertarian Party candidate. Not put-off so much by the other two parties that they just register a protest vote. McAfee needs to challenge Sarwark- not the leadership of the LP, but to a god damn death match.

        Rothbard, SEK3, and Benjamin Tucker are disappoint

      • Chipwooder

        ny lefty soccer mom carpetbaggers

        A good chunk of the district is getting overrun with those kind of people. They’re fucking locusts.

      • Winston

        So immigration…

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The comments on that L A Times article are both unsurprising and discouraging.
    I might have to start drinking a little early, today.

    • Count Potato

      Although both implications were obvious.

    • Suthenboy

      My wife referred to her as Stormy Weather so I corrected her. Later i n the same conversation she referred to her as Smoky Daniels. At that point I couldn’t remember what her name is either and I had to look her up. Until then I hadn’t even seen a photo of her.

      • JaimeRoberto

        My wife always refers to Bernie Sanders as Barney Sandler. I just roll with it because I like him about as much as I like Barney the Dinosaur and Adam Sandler.

      • peachy rex

        “I love you
        You love me
        Let’s go shoot a wrecker…”

    • Juvenile Bluster

      How bad are things if Matt fucking Taibbi is the voice of reason?

      • Just Say'n

        One could say the same about Tucker Carlson

      • SugarFree

        Now make them kiss.

      • Just Say'n

        Scissoring, maybe

      • Private Chipperbot

        The Hat, the Hair, and the Beards?

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        the Derp is heavy

      • Just Say'n

        I like your new screen name

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Blame Number.6

      • SugarFree

        The attempt to reconcile the “Trump is Putin’s Puppet!” and “Trump is gonna kill us all in a war with Russia!” is very entertaining (if you are dead inside like me.) The only way to do it is to think that Putin wants a war with the US and NATO. But panic cannot be swayed by mere considerations of cui bono.

      • Just Say'n

        The disturbing thing to realize is that the only people who could dissuade Trump from bombing Syria is Sean Hannity or Fox and Friends at this point

        *shudders*

      • SugarFree

        I can only imagine that the two competing narratives are somehow more comforting than accepting the truth: The country is run by an addled old man who spends his day involved in pointless Twitter feuds about international policy.

        But Russia!
        But Facebook!
        But Cambridge Analytica!
        But Putin!

        None of these things are going to save you. Embrace the darkness. Embrace the chaos.

      • Q Continuum

        It’s definitely been amusing.

      • Just Say'n

        “The country is run by an addled old man who spends his day involved in pointless Twitter feuds about” literally everything. And our media and institutions are run by very weak-minded adults who are still butt hurt about losing the last election and need to find a scapegoat for the loss rather than reflecting on their own shortcomings.

        Combined- this is a recipe for more war and more stupidity. There are no adults running this country

      • SugarFree

        It’s a deranged episode of Muppet Babies.

      • Q Continuum

        Kakistocracy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I blame Russian Global Capitalist Alt-Right Gun Lovers

      • Jarflax

        I would, I used to, but then people close to me had kids who I care about. It ruins nihilism when you realize that people you love will be the ones hunting mole rats in the ruins.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Cognitive dissonance is a real bitch

      • Q Continuum

        “if you are dead inside like me”

        You flatter us.

    • TK

      I fucking hate people that talk in gifs. But then again, I also hate people that talk on Twitter, so fuck me I guess.

      • Ted S.

        I really hate the subtitled gifs that are just a person mouthing the words. Serves no purpose other than to waste bandwidth.

      • Mad Scientist

        How is that different from anything else on twitter?

  15. Count Potato

    “The Revolutionary Student Front (RSF) quoted professor Robert L. Reece, who wrote in a story for Vox that “the search for the type of sustainable solutions and cultural changes necessary to ensure the safety and pleasure of intimate encounters remains elusive.” The RSF, which proudly displays the Communist hammer and sickle in its logo, took matters into its own hands.

    “Change is not elusive to us. Reactionary violence, like rape and domestic abuse and torture, can only be responded to with revolutionary violence,” the RSF declared. “We are inspired by women across the world from revolutionary moments who have turned on abusive husbands and serial rapists, reclaiming violence and wielding it against their oppressors.”

    Perhaps not surprisingly, this communist group twisted the movement against sexual assault into a movement against capitalism. “In a capitalistic system, men will always be granted some ownership over women and will feel entitled to much more,” the RSF added. “A feminist movement for working women must be created, one that intends to topple not only patriarchy, but capitalism imperialism as well.””

    Because lynching a black man would be revolutionary?

    • Q Continuum

      Everything old is new again.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        The hipsters are doing it ironically so it’s o.k.

    • Ted S.

      How long has the NSA had it?

    • Rasilio

      Most Americans really don’t care but because you asked the question they know it is something they are supposed to be concerned about so this is what they say

  16. Tonio

    SugarFree delivers.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      I liked your article as well Tonio

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Walker posted allegations on Twitter, saying she and Reece were in an emotionally unhealthy relationship as graduate students in sociology at the University of Mississippi six years ago. According to Walker, Reece was chronically unfaithful and lied about it, but when she slept with someone else, he responded with aggressive sex.

    Cuckfucking?

    • Q Continuum

      He’s gonna fuck the slut out of her!

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Donald ‘Roy Rogers’ Trump.

    Yikes!

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m triggered.

      • Tonio

        Golf clap.

    • Winston

      How’s his singing? And who is his Andy Devine?

    • Gustave Lytton

      They’re taking it up a notch. The Tennessee one is focused on pegging.

      • commodious spittoon

        They’re taking it up the notch

    • Mr Lizard

      STEVE SMITH ALWAYS WORK HARD

      • Swiss Servator

        STEVE SMITH ALWAYS HARD…AT WORK.

    • Rasilio

      So will there be labs for the students to participate in or is this more of a theory class?

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    What a shit call.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Crappy way to put it

    • Ted S.

      Referee to Buffon: You’re not Real Madrid. We’re going to fuck you over every way we know how.

  20. Michael

    What is it called when you’re desperately suppressing a laugh so hard in order to not have to explain to coworkers what you’re laughing at and a little poop comes out?

    • Just Say'n

      A “human resources matter”

      • But Enough About Me

        Indeed!

      • Playa Manhattan

        For you, maybe.

    • trshmnstr

      A shituation?

    • Mr Lizard

      OH REEEREY?

    • whiz

      That information is highly proprietary to Harvard…

      Proprietary my ass…

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    Fuck Real Madrid.

    Fuck them hard and good.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        And fuck Ronaldo that whining diver.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      You didn’t think UEFA would let both Real and Barca go out in the quarters, did you?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Fuck Real Madrid and Ronaldo.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Very much that.

        Magnificent penalty though. Unsaveable whether it was Szczeny, Buffon, or any other human being in goal.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Fuck Ronaldo. He played like a jerk off today. No class.

        It pisses me off to no end to end a game like on such a soft call.

        Fuck that English ref too.

        Juve were literally robbed.

        Fucken fuming.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        It was a penalty. It was really, really soft, but it was a penalty.

        The red card was bullshit though (didn’t matter in the end, but still bullshit), and I don’t think Oliver gives the penalty if the exact same thing happens on the other side of the field.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, there was a foul just inside the box near the end of the Bayern game that could have been a penalty (I wouldn’t have called it but the announcers thought it was a foul), and the referee didn’t call it. Not that it would have matterd.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        EXACTLY.

        Fuck Madrid.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I’m stunned Barca didn’t get some BS call in the Roma game.

        You blow on a Real/Barca player and the refs are giving out cards. Pique slides in with two feet and crickets.

        Sick of it. They’re good enough without all this help.

      • Ted S.

        As I’ve said before, if it weren’t for the fact that somebody would get seriously injured, I’d like to see a goal treat him when he’s offside the way Schumacher handled Battiston.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Seriously. One good hard slide tackle. Like the Butcher of Bilbao.

        From the get-go he was playing like a baby.

  22. Count Potato

    “‘Look What You Made Me Do’: Police Say Bank Robbery Suspect Trying to Impress Taylor Swift

    Police say a Connecticut man with a crush on singer Taylor Swift robbed a bank and then went to the pop star’s Rhode Island mansion where he threw cash over a fence in an attempt to impress her.

    Bruce Rowley, of Derby, is charged with robbing an Ansonia bank on April 4.

    Police say “it seemed he wanted to propose” to Swift, so he drove about 60 miles to Westerly, Rhode Island, and started throwing some of the roughly $1,600 he’s charged with stealing over Swift’s fence.

    Rowley was pursued by Rhode Island State Police back to Connecticut where he was arrested. That’s where he allegedly told police about his plan.”

    https://www.nbcnewyork.com/entertainment/entertainment-news/Police-Bank-Robbery-Suspect-Trying-to-Impress-Taylor-Swift-479389653.html

    • Raven Nation

      Better than shooting a president…

      • Count Potato

        Really depends who is in office.

    • SugarFree

      smdh

      • jesse.in.mb

        I blame the jodhpurs.

      • SugarFree

        It’s Taylor Swift signaling all the way down.

    • Q Continuum

      Absent any intervention by the State, it’s a solid move from an evolutionary perspective.

    • PBRstreetgang

      So is he ‘Out of the Woods’ yet?

    • Pan Zagloba

      *$1600
      *impress TSwift

      When we lay out bullet points like that, I think even this guy can see the flaw in the plan. Or at least a missing step or two.

      • Raven Nation

        Profit?!

      • Pan Zagloba

        Maybe something like

        *fly to Vegas
        *turn rest of money into real cash

        But even then, you’d need to do something awesome with cash.

        Ooh, fund 22 episode season of The Hat & The Hair Animated Series? I bet that would get him laid!

    • F. Stupidity Jr.

      Police say “it seemed he wanted to propose” to Swift, so he drove about 60 miles to Westerly, Rhode Island, and started throwing some of the roughly $1,600 he’s charged with stealing over Swift’s fence.

      Dude…she makes more than that every (does the math) every 20 minutes. You’re gonna have to step your game up.

    • JaimeRoberto

      Since she’s an alt-right icon or something, maybe he should have tried to meet her at a Nazi rally.

  23. Count Potato

    “Professor fired for defending Black Lives Matter on Fox News files lawsuit

    Lisa Durden, the former adjunct professor at New Jersey’s Essex County College who was fired following a testy ppearance on Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Tonight, filed a lawsuit against the school yesterday in New Jersey state court. Durden’s lawsuit follows FIRE’s own lawsuit against the college, which revealed that there were no records to evidence the college’s claims of having been “immediately inundated” with complaints.

    Last summer, Durden appeared on Carlson’s show to discuss whether it was appropriate for a Black Lives Matter group in New York City to hold an event that excluded white people. Durden’s relationship with Essex was never mentioned on air, but administrators at the troubled college terminated her anyway. In a videotaped statement, Essex County College’s president, Anthony Munroe, intoned that the institution had been “immediately inundated” with “feedback from students, faculty and prospective students” who expressed “fear” about Durden”

    https://www.thefire.org/professor-fired-for-defending-black-lives-matter-on-fox-news-files-lawsuit/

  24. mexican sharpshooter

    NY Times: Prominent republican nobody likes retires, therefore blue wave in 2018..

    Mr. Ryan’s exit is a destabilizing blow to Republicans’ 2018 plans on nearly every front. He has been the party’s most important fund-raiser in the House, attending fund-raisers nearly every night he is in Washington and raising more than $54 million so far for this election. In contrast to a president who embraces chaos, Mr. Ryan has also been a reassuring figure for the business community and a source of perceived stability for restless lawmakers pondering retirement.

    So he’s responsible for team red’s $54milion in campaign donations–isn’t team blue currently in debt?

    • Winston

      Wasn’t Paul Ryan a big fiscal conservative? Did a lot of good.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I’m actually surprised how much hate he gets from team red for not being conservative at all, and the hate from team blue for being some kind of unyielding Rand disciple.

      • Winston

        Not surprising at all. How many libertarian heretics we hate here are loathed by the far-left?

        How many Republicans we hate are considered libertarian radicals by the left.

      • dontreadonme

        I remember the first time I met him I thought how intelligent and articulate and principled he was. I said he could be president one day. Then I saw him shit the bed in the house over and over again and realized how easy it is to be duped by politicians. There are so few good ones. So few.

      • CPRM

        hahahaha. Paul Ryan, principled. Wisconsin voter here, and Paul Ryan was almost as much of joke for fiscal responsibilities as Romney. And to think, they were worse than hitler killing grandmas and putting dogs on roofs. The left deserved Trump after 2012, it is the rest of us who are being punished.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Supposedly he was going to fix the budget by pushing old ladies in wheelchairs off of cliffs, but he never lived up to the hype.

      • Grumbletarian

        Paul Ryan was billed as some kind of penny-pinching fiscal hawk when he was Romney’s choice as VP. His big plan was to balance the federal budget by 2025, which would have meant two full terms of Romney, plus presumably Ryan having two terms as president, plus a friendly Congress the whole time. Meanwhile Ron Paul was going to balance the budget in one year.

      • spqr2008

        His biggest problem is he is basically a frat boy, who will go along to get along, rather than stand for anything.

  25. Gadfly

    CLICKBAIT: When a Bigger Penis Means Swifter Extinction

    Fernandes Martins did this for 93 ostracod species, which lived between 66 and 84 million years ago in what is now Mississippi. She found that those where males were biggest relative to females went extinct 10 times faster than those whose males were much smaller. On average, species whose males invested most heavily in their sexual organs persisted for just 1.6 million years. By constrast, species whose males stepped away from the sexual rat race persisted for 15.5 million years.

    Live fast, die young.

    • Q Continuum

      So female selection for huge junk is suicidal to the species.

      SIZE QUEENS ARE GENOCIDAL!

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      And Leave a good looking Corpse

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Only the good well-endowed die young

    • Mr Lizard

      STEVE SMITH ALIVE AND WELL

    • Just Say'n

      “With the US’s Truman carrier still a month away, the “coalition” will rely on UK and French ships. US air support will likely also be involved, suggesting that any attack on Syria may be based on a joint UK-French naval operation, with US air support.”

      Yeah, OK. Like the French and British are going to do anything without the US.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I heard the Truman left yesterday and will be there in a week….

      • Raven Nation

        The Truman’s FB page seems to indicate it departed about 4 hours ago.

      • Jarflax

        The existence of a Carrier’s FB page, not to mention it giving out sailing info, seems to indicate that we don’t face any real threats in the world. Maybe if our military is strong enough that we can allow people to track our strike assets on social media we don’t actually need some of the billions we appropriate?

      • LT_Fish

        OPSEC has a lot of regulations but FB pages like that are more for the families – so they don’t bitch at the ombudsman, etc – it’s a way to get out the “official” news safely – better than sailors tweeting things in advance – general stuff like deployments generally aren’t going to change, but you won’t normally hear about port visits, etc until right before they happen or right after – depends on the mission or purpose of the stop, etc.

    • Mr Lizard

      FUCK YA LIMEYS, a six way throw-down will crush it on the intergalactic pay-per-view special.

  26. TK

    Here’s a fun little “how the government stops good shit from happening” tidbit.

    I help a group of locals run a charity foundation that accepts donations to assist local families. We vet families through an application process and then pay their bills directly to vendors to help keep them off the street. The whole goal is to help local families that are otherwise self-sufficient but in a major crisis that will leave them homeless. (like health related bills). We have grown a shit-ton over the past few years, so we voted to adopt 7 families each year instead of 4. As the financial expert on the board (there’s my humble-brag and virtue signal all in one), I have to conduct a portion of our annual meeting this year.

    Here’s the shit that pisses me off – this year I have to tell the membership that the need to stop donating so much to us. We need to reduce donations so we don’t pass the $50,000/year revenue threshold. As soon as we average over that amount for 3 years, we’ll have a shit ton more reporting to do the IRS – which will cost us almost as much as adopting an additional 2 families. So basically we have to stop helping so many people, which will push those we don’t help towards daddy gov’t. Church used to be the place to go for charity, now everything is slanted to push people towards the government for assistance, even though you have a ton of people that want to help right here in the local community. Fuck.

    Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. *gets back to finishing presentation*

    /rant

    • Q Continuum

      Big Daddy *hates* competition.

    • Ted S.

      Split up into two groups.

      • TK

        No way the board will go for that – too much extra work involved. We all do this on volunteered time and its tough to get together on a regular basis as it is.

        I don’t even know the legal implications.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m sure it would fall under some kind of structuring charges.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I admire what you’re doing. Thank you.

      • TK

        Thanks I appreciate it Scruffy 🙂

      • Count Potato

        +1

    • But Enough About Me

      Create multiple copies of the same (in all but name) foundation. Run out of the same church. The Board of Directors of which contain many of the same names.

      In other words, use the IRS’ rules to game the system.

      • TK

        Yeah, I think that Ted S. is saying the same thing. I really don’t think the board will go for it, but I guess I might as well talk to our attorney about it anyway – just to see.

        I’m not even for it if it means I have to keep an additional set of books. Finding the time to do the accounting is already tight.

      • invisible finger

        “Helping Families A-L”

        “Helping Families M-Z”

        The absurd thing is 50K is like a 1985 limit that nobody bothers to correct for inflation.

    • Tundra

      You’re a pretty cool cat, TK. Could you possibly partner with another charity?

      • TK

        Thanks dude. I’ll have to see if there’s anyone doing the same thing. There wasn’t when we started, but maybe there is now.

      • trshmnstr

        if y’all could use some additional volunteer legal help (or even just an extra pair of hands), I’ve been looking for some pro-bono/volunteer work that doesn’t suck (i.e. isn’t a prog cause or spending 6 hours filling out gov’t forms for people) and doesn’t require driving down to DC on a weekday morning (or ever). What you’re doing sounds really interesting and sounds like it meets both of those criteria! (zr9jcra46wey@opayq.com)

      • TK

        Just saw your message this morning. I sent you an email (and then I accidently hit the send button too early and sent you a half-finished email) *facepalm* we should meet up soon.

    • JaimeRoberto

      This must be a lie. We all know that libertarians are greedy bastards who only think of themselves.

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    Good on ya, Rand

    Senator Rand Paul
    ‏Verified account @RandPaul

    Promising war by tweet, insults not only the Constitution but every soldier who puts their life on the line.

    The #MAGA brigade is in full force in the replies. Rand is a traitor for not giving Trump 100% support.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I especially love the ones who say that launching missiles =/= war.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “Gassing your own people is an act of war…”

      • Winston

        Technically true though. Assuming this is just one bombing raid of course…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Idiots to the left of me, morans to the right…..

      • mexican sharpshooter

        *covers ears*

    • Winston

      Going after Trump for bombing without Congress is something Mueller should do but of course he won’t.

      • TK

        Can you imagine if he did? People would flip considering everything that Obama and Clinton did together.

      • Winston

        Can’t undermine US military strategy of the last few decades can you…

      • Suthenboy

        He doesn’t have a problem going after atty client privilege

      • Suthenboy

        Undermining not going after
        Hate a tablet

    • Just Say'n

      Rand Paul has not really disappointed me since he’s been a senator. Good on him.

      • Winston

        I am happily surprised that he is actually keeping some of his principles. Unlike most libertarian-friendly Congressmen…

      • Just Say'n

        Massie and Amash are also opposed to the bombing. If you’re referring to Wyden, only Fonzie and the gang think that Wyden is ‘libertarian’ by any stretch of the imagination.

      • Tundra

        He’s probably referring to that fuckhead Flake.

      • Just Say'n

        That makes more sense

      • Winston

        Yes and Polis.

      • Winston

        Also Kasich and Ryan were once big fiscons…

      • Ted S.

        Everybody may be Tulpa, but Just Say’n clearly isn’t Ken Shultz.

      • Count Potato

        Has anyone seen Ken Schultz?

      • SugarFree

        He’s been commenting over at The Sunken Place. I don’t think we gave him enough attention.

      • Hyperion

        I can’t even think about Ken without legal heroin coming to mind. It’s just one of those things you cannot unread.

      • Hyperion

        Nope. He ran out of material early on in life by trying to post it all at the same time.

      • Just Say'n

        I like Ken’s long posts. Even if he did beat-up Rand Paul

    • Tundra

      My uncle, a former hardcore socon, is possibly the biggest Rand fan in the world. It’s weird to watch the transformation.

    • Chipwooder

      See that, jackasses in Congress? It’s not that hard to be a voice of opposition without morphing into a shrieking, frothing nitwit,

    • Grumbletarian

      Fred Gross

      @AlphaGator
      Follow Follow @AlphaGator
      More
      Replying to @RandPaul @_True_News
      How about doing something about Robert Mueller and his lawless attack on @realDonaldTrump and his right to attorney client privilege.

      YOU TELL ‘IM, FRED! Everyone knows a Senator can fire a special prosecutor anytime he wants.

      And Rand has tweeted his disapproval of Mueller’s methods.

      Dumbass.

  28. Raven Nation

    New Zealand’s efforts at economic suicide continues.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Too Chicken to announce it at Home? Maybe she Should stay in the UK for…. Safety?

      • Raven Nation

        Hmm, I think she’s in NZ this week.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Article said She is in Europe right now
        /Pedant

    • Winston

      Ah libertarian Whiggishness fails again…

      • leonadasiv

        What are you talking about??

      • Winston

        New Zealand is high on Freedom rankings yet elected someone who proclaimed that “capitalism is a failure”. Quite a few libertarians thought New Zealand was turning into a pretty libertarian country. If prosperity and free markets are the rise than how did this happen?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Economic freedom is not the alpha and omega of libertarianism. Hong Kong is ranked number 1, and it’s part of an honest-to-goodness communist country. Singapore is number 2, and it’s the world’s only Confucianist state. Several years ago, when people were peddling the NZ is Libertopia nonsense, I called bullshit on it. NZ has always been an island of xenophobic, Tall Poppy Syndrome, nanny-staters.

      • Swiss Servator

        Only in rugby is one allowed to excel…

      • Winston

        That and quite a few libertarians thought that 1990s neoliberalism was the End of History and that the left had rejected the welfare state, regulations and deficit spending and would become only more libertarian.

      • Winston

        I mean those 1990s neoliberals at times seemed to be far more libertarian than the conservatives ever were. But it turns out it was from political expediency and not real anti-statist beliefs.

      • Raven Nation

        They didn’t exactly elect a Labour government. National won 56 out of 120 and Labour won 46. National won the popular vote by ~ 8%. The majority of Labour’s increase in votes came from people who voted Green Party last time.

        But, New Zealand First (9 seats) was the king-maker and they went with Labour. There’s some speculation as to why but the move against foreign ownership of housing is one piece of evidence.

      • Winston

        The Labour Party did go from Helen Clarke to Jacinda Arden quite willingly. And those 3 parties have a combined 50% of the vote. And if the libertarianish sentiments of New Zealand are really only expressed by one party than how strong is New Zealand’s libertarianish element?

      • Raven Nation

        “did go from Helen Clarke to Jacinda Arden quite willingly”

        Well, 10 years and 4 leaders of the opposition…

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Here’s the shit that pisses me off – this year I have to tell the membership that the need to stop donating so much to us.

    That kind of shit drives me bananas. Can your members divert their contributions in a way that helps the families without going through your books? Like direct cash? Or would the IRS call those substantially directed by the charity or some such thing?

    • TK

      We operate blindly, so the board members do not know the names or faces of the families that we help. The 2 separate groups that vet the families are not allowed to divulge the information – this is to encourage families to come forward without having to deal with shame/embarrassment. We can encourage them to donate to our sister charities, but the cash wouldn’t be used for the whole family adoption thing – that’s our shtick.

      • The Last American Hero

        Are you sure about the costs? 990 filings are about a grand at a small firm.

      • TK

        I’m going based on what I was told by our former CPA a few years ago. Maybe he was exaggerating? Its possible… I may need to talk to an accounting firm to get a firm estimate.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    We operate blindly

    Ah.

    • Tundra

      It means that a good many parents of students at USC are pissing away their money.

      • Count Potato

        Who knew you could piss with a Trojan?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I would be inclined to paper over “whiteness and misogyny” with “victimology and stupidity”

    • SugarFree

      They’ve collapsed the metaphor of the “white supremacy structure” into a sub-metaphor that it can somehow be dismantled like a building or scaffolding. As if something that wasn’t consciously built can be taken apart. Race/sex as a social construct strikes again.

      • Gilmore

        I see the following on twitter at least once a day:

        Person A: “[Stupid statement]”
        Person B: “I disagree. Here are some reasons why:”
        Person A” “UGH LOOK AT THIS NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE WHITE SUPREMACISTS”

        – Where “stupid-statement A” had nothing to do with race, gender, misogyny, or PC, or anything at all. There’s only 2 categories of people: those who agree with you, and KKK-Nazis

      • SugarFree

        You just described the business model of The Root.

      • Swiss Servator

        THANKS FOR WHITESPLAINING THAT, FASCIST!!!!

      • SugarFree

        I’m gonna whitespread all over the place.

      • Swiss Servator

        I thought it was “manspread”?

        Have you combined the evils of man and white to create an even more racist/misogynist/h8ful action!!! *gasps*

      • Hyperion

        If someone would send a pic of a fat white dude in stained tighty whiteys all manspread out on a sofa to every SJW they could identify with the caption ‘I’m whitespreading bitches! I would totally pay for that and to see the reaction to it.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        *opens umbrella*

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I assume Person A is a man in this case, because a woman would respond with “UGH MANSPLAINING”

    • Hyperion

      It mostly means that some people have mental issues and they’re now running our education systems. Not a good trend.

  31. Winston

    https://www.independent.co.ug/comment-liberal-world-order-r-i-p/

    To that end, the democratic countries set out to create an international system that was liberal in the sense that it was to be based on the rule of law and respect for countries’ sovereignty and territorial integrity. Human rights were to be protected. All this was to be applied to the entire planet; at the same time, participation was open to all and voluntary. Institutions were built to promote peace (the United Nations), economic development (the World Bank) and trade and investment (the International Monetary Fund and what years later became the World Trade Organisation).

    Citation needed.

    It is increasingly difficult to speak of the world as if it were whole. We are seeing the emergence of regional orders – or, most pronounced in the Middle East, disorders – each with its own characteristics. Attempts to build global frameworks are failing. Protectionism is on the rise; the latest round of global trade talks never came to fruition. There are few rules governing the use of cyberspace.

    Was there ever a time when the world was “whole”? Wasn’t in the Cold War or the ’90s.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There are few rules governing the use of cyberspace.

      OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

      There’s NOT ENOUGH RULES!

      These people are laughable.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      He plays Guitar? wow what a talent…..

      • Count Potato

        He was a great guitarist and huge influence (eg. Jimi Hendrix, Frank Zappa). Massively underrated.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Jonny Depp? Wow

    • Winston

      LP candidate? I mean UBI is libertarian supposedly…

    • Gilmore

      Hundred billion here, hundred billion there,…. sooner or later you’re talking about real money

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Exactly. Think of all the hookers and blow you can buy with it!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Entrepreneur Andrew Yang has a big goal for a relatively unknown business person:to reach the White House. And he’s aiming to get there by selling America on the idea that all citizens, ages 18-64, should get a check for $1,000 every month, no strings attached, from the U.S. government.

      The government has “plenty of resources, they’re just not being distributed to enough people right now,” he says.

      Roughly 200,000,000 from 18 to 64 at $1,000 a month is $200B / month or $2.4T / year, plus a very conservative administration overhead of 15% yields $2.76T / year, or about 70% of our entire 2015 federal budget.

      I thought Asians were good at math.

      • Winston

        It will bankrupt the government quicker and therefore bring about libertarianism. Right, Right?

      • Swiss Servator

        …and that is the dramatic finish to the race!!! We have a winner!

        LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…I GIVE YOU, GLIBS MOST TIRESOME COMMENTER!!!!

        Take a bow.

        Oh, and don’t forget your trophy

      • Winston

        What would Q say about that post?

        And you should have posted the ending from Big Rigs.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Go Home Tulpa, you’re drunk….

      • jesse.in.mb

        I thought Asians were good at math.

        Whoa, dude. Way to oppress folks with the false expectations engendered by the myth of the model minority.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Did I not make it clear? HOOKERS.AND.BLOW

      • jesse.in.mb

        No pai gow?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        ¿Por qué no dos?

      • Winston

        How dare you suggest that Asians are not good at math you racist.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *shitlord status achieved*

      • Grumbletarian

        A UBI plan that still requires the government to pay for Social Security and Medicare? BRILLIANT!

      • Pomp

        Yeah, well, the Trump omnibus increased the debut by $1T!

      • Amashi

        There are some arguments to be made for a “UBI (assuming it displaced other transfer payments,”) but it’s a disingenuous name. As is the word “everyone” here. If you give me $1000.00 a month in this program and take $2000.00 a month from me I’m not sure I should consider the $1000.00 income.

      • whiz

        So is UBI generally treated as income in these plans? Then the government takes back X% of it anyway (depending on your tax bracket).

      • Amashi

        It might be tax exempt, depending on the proposal. The advantage to taxing it would be that we could forever stave off income stagnation through the simple expedient of raising the UBI in tandem with the amount clawed back by taxes each year, and do it without having to print new money. In fact, with a bit of creative accounting we could achieve any rate of income growth in inflation adjusted dollars we desired.

        But even if you make it tax exempt the money is going to have to come from someone. So maybe my $1000.00 / month is exempt, but I pay higher marginal rates on my income above my basic $12,000.00 in “free” money. There will be a point where my income is high enough that I pay more for the program than I receive from it. At that point, should I really consider the UBI a source of income?

        You can conjure money out of thin air, but you can’t do the same with what money buys. The UBI is just another way of arranging for transfers. It might be a better one, or it might not, and the devil will be in the details.

    • Suthenboy

      Would boost my gun budget for a short time….until inflation kills it

    • Hyperion

      It wouldn’t really help most people, at all. Because of course, it would come from tax money, so we would need a tax increase, because we’re never cutting anything else, ever. But it would help some people to forget about ever looking for gainful employment and maybe just take some extra work as a part time activist and spend their time destroying private property and shitting on the sidewalk. What’s not to love?

    • Grumbletarian

      Under Yang’s plan, the UBI payment would be funded by a “new tax on the companies that are benefiting most from automation,” he says in a video on his campaign’s website.

      That tax, he explains, would be a value-added tax (VAT) of 10 percent on goods and services a company produces.

      “We’ll give you money to buy things, but those things will all be at least ten percent more expensive than they are now. Sure, this policy will also devalue any wages you earn beyond the UBI, but whatever.”

  32. leonadasiv

    Where did Congress give the president authority to launch attacks against Syria/Russia?

    • Winston

      They approved the UN Charter so therefore POTUS can do what he wants. No literally, that is what Truman said in 1950.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      He has 60 days, then WPA kicks in

    • Hyperion

      I guess since Obama could to it, Trump must figure he can do it too.

  33. Winston

    http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/20180320/josh-rogin-liberal-international-order-mounts-comeback

    “We lost sight of what it took to create this international order and what an act of defiance of history and even defiance of human nature this order has been,” author Robert Kagan told the group. “We have the capacity to push back — we just need to understand the pushback needs to start occurring.”

    Internationalists share a realization that the order is at grave risk, and along with it the seven decades of relative growth, prosperity and peace it provided. Nationalism and populism are ascendant in the United States and Europe. Authoritarianism led by Russia and China is on the march around the world.

    The West assumed after the Cold War that worldwide acceptance of liberal values was inevitable, but alas, history did not end. Geopolitical competition resumed. The negative effects of globalization drove discontent with the liberal open-society model. Adversaries took advantage. Then came the dual shocks of Brexit and the election of Donald Trump.

    Some say that liberal democracy simply didn’t address the needs and desires of its populations. Others say the liberal international order was never truly liberal, international or orderly. The mission to defend it must include acknowledging and addressing those shortcomings.

    • Just Say'n

      I can’t believe we’re living in an era where a Republican president wants to go to war and commentators at Fox News (like Tucker Carlson) are pushing against war, while CNN and MSNBC commentators are cheering for war.

      • Winston

        Trump has lead to the end of the post-1960s political paradigm. Very strange that it was him but that is what it is.

      • Just Say'n

        He’s broken just about every major political ideology movement in the country (conservative, liberal, progressive, libertarian). They’re all at each other’s throats. Only the Greens and the LaRouche people are still united. God help us

    • Hyperion

      Sure, if the left didn’t want war. They want lots of war, they never saw a war they didn’t love. Why do you think they tried to elect the biggest war monger of all, Hillary, as president? No wonder they’re so mad. And the only reason they suddenly hate Russia is that Russia was their role model for Communism and they failed. Putin can’t get his commie on right, so we need to nuke him and then send over Bernie to take over and make Soviet Russia great again.

      *Bernie arrives in Moscow* Listen, comrades, we’re going to make the USSR great again! We’re building a wall, Donald, and it’s going to be better than your wall! Better than the old wall! And made of iron, like an iron curtain! No one needs 2 choices in walls!

    • Hyperion

      Sadly enough, if you think the left are not willing to burn down the entire planet to stop from seeing the inevitable last flicker of their commie dream slowly fade into oblivion, you are wrong.

  34. Heroic Mulatto

    Remember when this was satire?

    For once a Youtube comment nailed it:

    Moon Man3 months ago
    I feel like the onion is really just a news source from the future and everybody thinks it’s satire when it isn’t

    • Tundra

      Holy shit that’s funny!

      And depressing.

      • Hyperion

        We’re almost already there with the NYT leading the way.

    • Pomp

      Chortle. In undergrad I heard about a classmate one of my friends had in freshman Physics II. She did poorly on the first exam of a real ballbuster professor and subsequently lobbied hard to get him shitcanned. I assume the student had some kind of political clout, because he was temporarily removed from the section. The only trouble is that he was the head of the teacher’s union or something like that and reinstated shortly thereafter. The exams, already difficult, became significantly more painful.

      That professor was cool. The first day of class that I had him, he declared that he was a “gun nut” and he used to smoke pipes and cigars in his basement office constantly despite the campus no-smoking policy. He was the last vestige of the “good old days.” He will be missed.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Around when was this?

      • Pomp

        Somewhere around the year 2001-2002 range if I recall correctly.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Right after my time. I graduated in ’99.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      God that was good, Thanks HM

  35. Pomp

    Walkouts and teacher pay: how did we get here?

    Teachers in Arizona are staging what they’re calling a walk-in today. They’re asking lawmakers for a 20 percent pay raise and for school funding to return to pre-recession levels. This comes as teachers in Oklahoma continue their walk-out. After more than a week of protests and dozens of closed schools across the state, Oklahoma lawmakers have already agreed to increase teacher pay and school funding. But teachers say, after a decade of deep cuts, it’s not enough.

    K.

    She’s compared teachers’ weekly wages to workers with similar levels of experience and education and says teachers consistently earn less — especially in states that have seen walkouts.

    In Arizona, for example, Allegretto says teachers make about 63 cents on the dollar compared to other college graduates. In Oklahoma, it’s 67 cents.

    “These are really huge pay gaps,” Allegretto says, “and over a career, it means these workers are out tens and maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

    You know what’s funny about private sector workers, including private school teachers, is that they change jobs or professions like everyone else if they are unsatisfied with the income.

    Biggs says all this talk of teachers being underpaid ignores many of the other benefits they get. Like summers off, he says. And the big one: pensions.

    “The reality is that teacher pensions are a lot more expensive,” Biggs says, “and they’re also a lot more generous than people think they are.”

    But Chad Aldeman, the editor of teacherpensions.org, says it’s the other way around. “There’s this idea of this gold-plated pension system out there, but that’s not the case for the vast majority of teachers who enter the profession.”

    That’s because new teachers often have to stay in the profession — and in the same place — for 5 to 10 years before they can get any kind of pension.

    Well knock me over with a feather! That’s better than pretty almost everything available in the private sector. Sorry, bro, if you can’t even stick it out for 5-10 years to secure MUH PENSHUN, well, tough shit.

    “Of that 17 cents, about five of it is actually going to benefits, and 12 of it is going to pay down unfunded pension obligations,” Aldeman says. This brings the problem full-circle; some states are now using these big pension debts to justify not giving teachers a pay raise.

    Why bother agitating for fiscal sanity in pension obligations when you can just agitate for MOAR MUNEE 4 SKOOLS?

    To make matters worse, in many states, teachers don’t qualify for Social Security benefits, either. So they really depend on that pension.

    Wait, wahh????? We want it both ways!! LOL @ page 8 infographic

    Please, keep this shit up. Quite frankly, I would be surprised if Oklahoma or Arizona didn’t decide to go hardcore school choice vouchers after this, because they should.

    • Mad Scientist

      To make matters worse, in many states, teachers don’t qualify for Social Security benefits, either.

      You get what you pay for.

    • Swiss Servator

      “OK, we’ll let you in Social Security…kiss another double digit percentage of your pay good bye.”

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        You mean just like real people?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      They were hanging out at my kids school when I dropped them off this morning. I was more upset the decided to stage a “March” from my church next door. I might have to hit Fr. Pat with one of those heavy books lying around the church a few times.

      “Stay out of it McFather!”

      • Pomp

        Many-a Father are tempted to dabble in the ol’ socialist agitatin’.

    • slumbrew

      … teachers make about 63 cents on the dollar compared to other college graduates.

      Is she suggesting that all college graduates should make comparable amounts, regardless of degree or career? Because that’s deeply stupid.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Yes lets compare their salary to say…social workers.

      • Mad Scientist

        Or Starbucks staff.

      • Pomp

        They payoff to training ratio for trash disposal technicians is off the hook. They should do that.

      • JaimeRoberto

        Because most of them are women. Duh.

    • R C Dean

      Here’s the deal. Increase the quality of education by 20%, and you’ll get a 20% raise. In the last 30 years we have spent more and more on schools and gotten zero return. Let’s try a different approach,since the old pay first, hope for improvement plan has never worked. You want improvement, right?

      • Amashi

        I’m inclined to think that, as a practical matter, there isn’t much the schools can do to improve educational outcomes. Of course this doesn’t mean teachers should be paid more. It means they should probably be paid about like daycare workers.

    • Ted S.

      How much are they going to have to cut to get to pre-recession levels?

      • Pomp

        When you focus on teacher salaries, which make up the lion’s share of schools’ spending, data published by the Education Department show that, after adjusting for inflation, U.S. teachers earned less last year, on average, than they did back in 1990.

        ;-(

      • Ted S.

        Somehow I don’t believe the statistics.

        If I had to guess, it’s lower-salaried teachers aides for “special needs” students pushing down the figures.

      • whiz

        So total money spent on education goes up in real terms but teachers salaries don’t? They say teachers salaries are the lion’s share, but I bet it’s not as big a lion as in 1990. I’d lay money that administration is taking a bigger piece of the pie (in part due to increased regulation and legal issues) and that’s where the increase in education spending is going.

      • Viking1865

        It is pretty much. Schools now have three or four vice principals, loads of other staff, more “paraprofessionals”, and yet the kids get stupider and stupider each year.

  36. B.P.

    I read the story about Bank of America pulling funding for companies that produce “military-style” guns. Since I’m a stockholder and recently received my proxy card to vote in the annual meeting, I thought I’d pop open the 2017 annual report that was included. There’s 31 pages of chatter about sustainability, impact investing, social justice, equal pay, carbon emissions, etc., before they get to the financial part.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *shorts BOA*

    • B.P.

      Oh, also I’ve had this bit of stock for a long time — ever since they gobbled up Security Pacific in the late 1980s. BoA stock was at about $44 in 2006. Now it’s hovering around $30. Maybe concentrate on that, assholes.

      • Ted S.

        Did they have any stock splits?

      • creech

        No. I don’t think many bank stocks have ever come back to their Jan. 2007 levels and won’t until interest rates climb somewhat higher from current levels.

    • kbolino

      I’m so glad we bailed all these banks out so they could turn around and declare war on the Bill of Rights.

  37. Suthenboy

    Re: liberal world order
    I will say the same thing I said about Obama – US sovereignty is not some fuckwit politician’s to give away. Those fuckers work for us, the American people. I don’t hire a lawn service to cut my neighbors yard, I hire them to cut mine.
    I don’t give a shit about world order

    • Hyperion

      “US sovereignty is not some fuckwit politician’s to give away”

      The left beg to differ.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Is somebody on your lawn?

      • Suthenboy

        Again? Goddammit
        *grabs rifle heads for door…

      • Jarflax

        Wait, you have a lawn? I had pictured your house as being up on pilings in a gator infested bayou, with various reactive targets sticking out of the swamp. I am disappointed.

    • R C Dean

      I like the lawn analogy, and will use it without attribution.

      • straffinrun

        More a euphemism than an analogy.

      • whiz

        Well, if somebody else has weeds in their lawn that then get into yours, you might care about their lawn (to follow the analogy). Certainly there are things that happen elsewhere that affect us. But our interests need to be very narrowly defined if you use that excuse.

    • Hyperion

      I thought there for a minute that you’re playing Farcry 5.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Still? that’s…. interesting

    • straffinrun

      Brilliant website design. Made me want to kill myself.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        All you need is a pair of Nikes, some phenobarbital, and some Everclear.

      • straffinrun

        All I got is a pair of Pro Keds, some Advil and some bathtub gin. Should get me through purgatory’s gate.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They were into self-castration too, maybe ease in and try that first?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Dumbest doomsday cult ever. Jim Jones made more sense than that bunch.

    • mikey

      I’d forgotten about those folks. I love the esthetics of old web 1.0 sites. Dark background and lots of garish fonts. The site is sadly lacking in gifs though

    • Ted S.

      Who’s Arden?

      And I agree with Swiss above about your tediousness.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I think that’s the New Zealand PM, and Winston is Tonio is Tulpa
        Ted

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I forgot, Tonio at least has original content, and Q has Boobs, Ted just doesn’t like anything, which is fine IMO

      • Mad Scientist

        Ted likes us. And I like Ted. Provisionally. There’s something wrong with a guy who doesn’t like beer. Something suspicious and barbarous and wrong. But he seems like a good guy otherwise.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I’m reminded of the story of 2 Blind Squirrels meeting in an alley at Midnight, that’s when Ted and I agree on something, but He’s a nice guy

      • Ted S.

        I don’t like carbonated beverages.

      • Tundra

        We like you anyway.

      • Ted S.

        It’s Minnesota “nice”. You just pretend to like us.

      • Tundra

        “Minnesoda”

        But, yeah.

      • Ted S.

        I could talk about old movies.

        Any my avatar over at the TCM boards is this, which seems appropriate.

      • Ted S.

        I also refer to myself as a “crotchety old blankety-blank”.

      • Winston

        Joan Blondell or Glenda Farrell?

      • Ted S.

        Glenda. From Mystery of the Wax Museum:

        All right, then you can go to some nice, warm place, and I don’t mean California.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Shelly Winters in that Robert Mitchum thriller, Yummy

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Night of the Hunter

      • Ted S.

        Shelley Winters had a problem with water. That and A Place in the Sun and The Poseidon Adventure.

      • Ted S.

        I knew that’s who he was referring to, but if he’s going to be so tedious he might want to get the spelling right.

      • Winston

        Damn it. *Puts dunce cap on*

    • Suthenboy

      Of course they do
      I notice that the innovations that birthed the computer revolution did not occur there and they lean pretty far left

      What is it with these techies and turning pinko?

      • Amashi

        Being overly bright is in some ways hazardous. Being overly bright and being rewarded immensely for it at a very early age, partially through luck, is even more so, especially if it was the result of having focused so intensely on a particular obsession that you know very little about anything else. As Robert Conquest pointed out, everyone is conservative about what they know best. Much of the Valley knows very little about anything other than the Valley.

    • straffinrun

      I didn’t know Galt’s Gulch had sheep fucking. Count me in.

      • jesse.in.mb

        How could paradise not?

      • Caput Lupinum

        +1 Cymru

      • creech

        Speaking of, why is it o.k. to say “welsh on a bet?” Are they known for not paying up like a certain someone on TOS?

      • Number.6

        Blame the clergyman, Gerald of Wales for the slur:

        Faults in the Welsh Character

        The inconstancy and instability of the Welsh; and their failure to keep their word or carry out their promises.

        The Welsh people do not keep their promises, for their minds are as fickle as their bodies are agile. It is very easy to persuade them to do something wrong, and just as easy to stop them once they have started. They are always quick to take action, and they are particularly stubborn when what they are doing is reprehensible. The only thing they really persist in is changing their minds.

        A formal oath never binds them. They have no respect for their plighted word, and truth means nothing to them. They are so accustomed to breaking a promise, held sacrosanct by other nations, that they will stretched out their hand, as the custom is, and with this gesture swear an oath about nearly everything they say, not only in serious and important matters but on every trifling occasion.

        They live on plunder and have no regard for the ties of peace and friendship.

    • Pomp

      That article was about +66% lengthier than it needed to be.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      How does Arden fit into this?

      I think Thiel’s more into Aragorn.

  38. Tundra

    I love Ô Canada!

    Wild and Jets momentarily. Best time of the year (sorry Swiss).

    • Ted S.

      Looking forward to the Devils tomorrow night, but with goals being at a premium, they’re going to need a better goalie.

      • Tundra

        Goalies are the most important players in the SC.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Aren’t they the most important players? They block scores after all
        /Illiterate Hockey Person

      • Tundra

        Important all year, but in the NHL, a hot goalie can completely fuck up the odds. It’s why the bottom seed can go all the way and it’s why I love this sport.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Ahhh, SC= Stanley Cup, I’m not so stupid after all…
        I knew you would help Tundra

      • Tundra

        It’s my small contribution to this hive of scum and villainy.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I’m already sad.

      Fuck I hate the Penguins.

      • Tundra

        Don’t be sad. We all hate the Penguins.

      • Caput Lupinum

        My daughter likes the penguins. I was proud that my girl found a love for hockey, but felt a failure at the same time. It was conflicting.

        In her defense, the baby pens are the home town team, but still.

      • Tundra

        Nope. It’s the kid clause. If my daughter decided she was a Pens fan I’d buy the fucking jersey.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Fair enough. I did but her a jacket, but made sure it was prominently the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Penguins, and warned her about wearing it now that we live in Philly.

        Philadelphia sports fans can be a little… over zealous.

    • Suthenboy

      All bears are smart and charming looking. Unfortunately they are also bears. It’s a fucking bear and bears are the most temperamental critters on the planet. Zero to tear your head off in the blink of an eye and you don’t see it coming or even know what triggers it. Pandas are the worst of the lot

      Once in a Central American green hell a couple of Indians walked into camp with a tree sloth hanging from a stick. They wanted to sell it. One of the guys started fucking with it. Tree sloths move slow slow slow, right? He kept fucking with it and suddenly that stinky fucker had had enough. Quick as lightning that little guy jumped on the dumb ass and ripped him a new one…literally

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I have heard that, and a nasty set of claws with Bacteria that an’t so good for Hoomans…

  39. Gilmore

    Someone once pointed out that modern “SJW”-ish has much in common with late 19th/early 20th progressive movements, which were highly-religious, and more or less envisioned activist government as being able to bring about “heaven on earth”, or utopia in the here-and-now. Gods will made manifest, etc.

    Was there a name for that early movement? (like a specific denomination of protestantism, or whatever it was)

    and did the ‘heaven on earth’ thing – i suppose you could call it the Progressive Telos – have a specific term associated w/ it i could reference?

    any help here appreciated.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Temperance isn’t quite it, but there was a lot of end of the World predictions, and cult activity at the Time, 7th day Adventists, Christian Scientists, etc.

    • LJW

      The Social Gospel movement

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah, I don’t know that they thought “heaven on earth,” but definitely emphasis on improving material conditions rather than salvation from sin. See this:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_His_Steps

      • Gilmore

        I think that’s probably the closest, tho i think i’ve heard of other, lesser-referenced similar things

    • LJW

      Dunno if there is a term for it but they took the Lord’s prayer “on earth, as it is in heaven”, as let’s make Earth like heaven.

      • KSuellington

        I like that the hard left has adopted the “progressive” moniker as they have largely ditched “liberal”, which doesn’t describe them in the least.They share so much with the original Progressives, including the religious fervor (supplanted now with Gaia worship). The originals got their eugenics and Prohibition on and their heirs are much the same. Top (wo)men know what’s best

    • Amashi

      I’m not sure this is what you’re looking for, but I’m inclined to think that the tendencies that led to SJWing in the US have their genesis in mainline Protestantism.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Sorry, I disagree, Raised Lutheran, Work Ethic, Self determination, Patriotism, you know ‘Murica!!!!!!

      • Jarflax

        The puritan strand of Protestantism is different from others. The thread from Cotton Mather to William Loyd Garrison to Carrie Nation to take your pick of the Ivy League types pushing the SJW nonsense is clear. Along the way they gave up the traditional Protestant God and replaced it with the Holy State, and also somehow took the impulse that opposed slavery and turned it around to opposing liberty.

    • Q Continuum

      The Heaven on Earth thing is a key idea of Utopia. It’s especially prevalent among secular humanist/militant atheist types. The rejection of any kind of metaphysical paradise gives license to try and create one in corporeal existence.

      The joke is that in trying to create Heaven they always end up creating Hell instead.

    • Count Potato

      The Social Gospel movement? The general term for utopia in the here-and-now, Gods will made manifest, final utopia, etc. is “eschaton”.

      There is no political end-game.

      Don’t immanentize the eschaton!

  40. CPRM

    We have the written works of the Hat and the Hair, and now the animated edition; we need an audio-book version now, preferably read by Morgan Freeman.

    • Tundra

      Fuck that guy. Let’s have Ozzy do it.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      I do Impersonations, Well. i’ll see what i can do

    • straffinrun

      Good job on the animation, CP.

      • CPRM

        just use the word reciprocal

      • R C Dean

        Mirror

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      OTOH, Have CPRM narrate SF stories as well as His own Animation? I have the voices stuck in my head now

  41. CPRM
  42. Not an Economist

    Apparently, paying off a pornstar and locker room talk is enough to break attorney-client privilege.

    Apparently grabbing by the pussy is a Russian tactic.

    • kbolino

      I thought SOP at the FBI was to give everybody immunity preemptively, to ignore evidence, close off any leads, and issue vaguely exonerating letters. Did that change?

      • Jarflax

        It changed in November 2016. Not sure why?

      • kbolino

        It must be because these violations of the Anti-Piss Hooker Act are far more serious than violations of the Espionage Act.

      • Psycho Effer

        Quibble: They aren’t Anti-Piss, they are Anti Piss-Hooker.

    • Suthenboy

      To make it even better it appears Cohen wasn’t even part of the Trump campaign. The justification for a frontal assault on attorney-client privilege is that this payment was an in kind campaign contribution. If any money paid that benefits a candidate in any way or specifically hush money is a campaign contribution then these fuckers are shooting themselves in the dick. What about the hush money paid out to #MeToo’ers from congressional slush fund on behalf of sitting members of congress? What about travel money or hair cut money for candidates? I am a bit buzzed right now to go through all of the implications of this, but Jebus, they just shot one hell of a big hole in their own hull.

      • Q Continuum

        That would be the case in a sane, just world; however that is not the world we live in. We all know that the Dems would get cover and interference from the media, the Deep State and Congress if they did anything. Fuckin’ A, Hillbot exposed top level government secrets classified at the highest level and got away scot free. Any peasant doing that would have gotten life in prison. The law only applies to Republicans and, specifically, to Trump.

        We live in a Banana Republic.

      • Tundra

        Pretty cold. You sure?

      • R C Dean

        A Wiener Republic?

      • Tundra
      • Count Potato

        Generally, one of the only good things about a banana republic is nice weather.

      • Caput Lupinum

        That explains California, but does dick all to help me figure out what’s happening here in Pennsylvania. Our weather sucks dammit.

    • Chafed

      I think that’s about right. Of course he’ll blame anyone and everyone else because his erratic, philosophy free approach to governing had nothing to do with it.

  43. Timeloose

    70 degree weather this sat. I’m going to enjoy my first motorcycle ride of the year, eat BBQ, and drink some beers.

    Merica!

      • Timeloose

        Love it. Looks like you had a blast in the Slabs.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I’ll show you, soon enough, but it was…. interesting, Thanks for the interest

  44. LT_Fish

    Way behind but this cracked me up today: https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/04/kevin-williamson-the-atlantic-controversy-fractured-media-landscape/

    We would not expect National Review to hire a liberal or Reason a socialist, so why should we be shocked that The Atlantic regretted its decision to hire an outspoken conservative? Of course, this concedes the point that The Atlantic is no longer a general-interest periodical but a liberal periodical, as demanded by an audience that has lost the taste for blandly inoffensive generalism and something-for-everyone robust identities and now insists on specialists who strive not for objectivity but for purity.

    Sad thing is…I think he’s actually serious.

    • Jarflax

      Wait, is there anyone at National Review who isn’t a Trotskyite?

      • LT_Fish

        I was referring to the Reason reference since I didn’t want to butcher the original quote.

      • Jarflax

        I left the Reason part alone cause I was trying to be funny and the rabid drive leftward of Reason makes me sad.

    • Q Continuum

      “We would not expect Reason [to hire] a socialist”

      We might not expect it, but it happens anyway.

      • LT_Fish

        Good enough for government work.

  45. Rufus the Monocled

    Crosby and Malkin are beasts.

    After scoring his hat trick, Crosby makes sure to tell DuMoulin ‘good job’.

    All class.

    • Chipwooder

      This cannot be said often enough – fuck the Penguins and fuck that bleeding gash Crosby

      • Tundra

        He’s so fucking good, though…

      • Timeloose

        I saw him play in the AHL. He looked so much better than the rest of the team.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Who played in the AHL? Crosby? He went straight from the Rimouski in the Q to the NHL.

      • Timeloose

        Sorry my recollection was poor. He played a preseason game in the penguins AHL stadium.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Ah.

      • Tundra

        I hate him, but he’s one of the best hockey players I’ve ever seen.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Agreed. But McDavid…holy crap….that speed.

      • Tundra

        Yeah. He should move to Minnesota.

        That Oilers team is brutal.

      • Chipwooder

        Yes he is, which makes his cuntiness that much more unnecessary.

      • Festus

        That’s why I’ve always hated his cunty, cunty red lips. Never trust a man with cunty red lips, I always say…

      • Rufus the Monocled

        The Wild are playing well. The Jets are so deep on attack.

      • Tundra

        That last goal was soft. The Jets are really good, though. When they move on, I may be rooting for them.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Juvenile Bluster hardest hit. Ah well, at least the spawn is happy.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      I thought Malkin was Philippine?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      …sigh.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        You guys are the ones who play in the cold and ice, that’s just Canadian, Blech

    • creech

      Flyers captain just interviewed on local news. Ass whipped and despondent. Flyers will be lucky to score a goal in this ” three” game series.
      But in two or three years, watch out NFL.

  46. straffinrun

    “The whole world with the exception of Russia was shocked”. Eurotrash News.

  47. CPRM

    Ok; I just signed up for a twatter to push the Hat and Hair cartoon, and while I was composing my first tweet :

    “Your account has been locked.

    CPRM
    @CPRMglib
    What happened?
    Your account appears to have exhibited automated behavior that violates the Twitter Rules. To unlock your account, please complete the steps below and confirm that you are the valid account owner.
    What you can do:
    To unlock your account, you must do the following:
    Pass a Google reCAPTCHA challenge
    Verify your phone number
    When you tap ‘Start’, Google may collect and use information about you, your device, and browser. View Google’s Privacy Policy.”

    WTF, I didn’t even do anything yet.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Sometimes that’s enough for the jerkoffs at Twitter.

    • leonadasiv

      Only bots sign up for Twitter

    • CPRM

      ah, yes, 1018, the year all life on earth ceased to exist.

    • straffinrun

      Journalism in 2018 America: Articles are tagged with, “That is bad news.”

      • Q Continuum

        Fucking Gawker and Buzzfeed started that shit and it’s absurd. I can’t believe it’s filtered all the way down to “respectable” dead tree publications.

      • straffinrun

        Basically, they are admitting their readers are nimrods.

    • CPRM

      by the way, your link needs some insulin.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Bah-roken.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Global warming killed your link.

    • CPRM

      Those characters are so annoying I was rooting for the geese.

    • Suthenboy

      I dont get it. What do these people think a 12 gauge and orange sauce is for?

  48. Grumbletarian

    Yanks/Sox sure got interesting fast.

    • Drake

      I hate having to watch the game with the Yankees broadcasters. They kept talking about Bill Lee dislocating his shoulder – as if Lee fell down the stairs or something. Greg Nettles dislocated Bill Lee’s shoulder with the cheapest cheap shot in the history of baseball.

      • Festus

        I saw the Spaceman pitch a game and then watched Gaylord Perry pitch another at the Big O in 1979. I played in a charity softball game with half of my Expos heroes when I was about 30 or so. There were at least 1500 people watching. I was drunk but managed to make the final out when the opposing fireman absolutely smoked one down the line at me at first and I took it on one hop and basically just nudged the bag with my foot. Went 3-3 too. When I made that out Bill looked over from the mound and said “GOOD PLAY!” I thought “This is weird. Am I dreaming this?” No Gary Carter, though. He was my guy growing up as a player.

  49. Drake

    Yankees suck – you spiked the guy. Take your lumps fucker.

  50. Timeloose

    I’m putting together an article on the referb of a 1958 HIFi. I’ve finshied the electronics and still need to do the turntable mechanicals and the wood furniture refinishing.

    I should probably do a 2 or three parter as it will take some Time to complete it all.

    Thoughts?

    • Caput Lupinum

      I understood enough of those words to be interested in finding out what the others mean, so yes.

      • Timeloose

        Basically making a 65 year old radio capable of playing NWA loud enough to annoy my wife and dog.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Fair enough, now write it up so there is enough information for me to do the same thing, take some pretty pictures, and voila! Article. My dog ate my couch, the fat fuck has it coming.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        See my 1st Bella Article, informative

      • Caput Lupinum

        Hey Yusef! Was wondering when the West coast would show up. Your Bella articles could be a day in my life. Just switch out Bella for Sam.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Thanks, I try to hold up the West coast, Straff helps too, I’m at war with the Wife because Bella keeps Harassing Old Kittah, ahh pets….

      • Creosote Achilles

        Cuts, jibs, newsletter subscription.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Yep please do

    • Gilmore

      Is it really “hi fi” tho?

      iow is the goal, “lower noise floor, higher bandwidth”, or is it just, “make this old piece of shit work right”?

      • Gilmore

        *this is not a judgment thing; i generally don’t care for audiophile shit, and think lo-fi is perfectly fine if not in many cases better

    • Festus

      Hot chicks in tight trousers sporting unpopular views have always been my bane. Please God, make it so!

  51. straffinrun

    Lunch break story. Got into a ridiculous fight with the wife two days ago. Even taking into account my bias, there was no question she was wrong. Of course she went way OT when she was losing, even going back ten years when I snapped my cell phone in two in a pissed off moment.

    Well, yesterday I find out that her mom has another cancer scare. The wife hadn’t told me about it and it must’ve been freaking her out and she did a little “yatsuatari” or “taking it out” on me. It’s cool now. Be cool if you can, even when someone you love is intentionally poking you. There may be a deeper issue at play.

    • CPRM

      You should have ordered the cream of sumyungy, that would have made here feel better.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Just a scare? The MIL get the all clear then?

      • straffinrun

        Don’t know yet. Fingers crossed.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Best of luck to her.

      • Festus

        For sure. She should be more forthcoming in the future but maybe its a cultural thing?

    • Suthenboy

      That is good advice straffin for anyone anytime. You never know what people are dealing with, even the guy in the grocery store that snaps at you or cuts in line.

      • Festus

        Hey there Suthen!

      • Festus

        Check out my comment up at #66. That was a wild and wacky experience. Shit like that used to happen to me all of the time before I got tamed and caged.

  52. CPRM

    So, you all went and liked and subscribed on my Hat and Hair video, right? No? Did you at least share and promote it? No? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!

  53. grrizzly

    This is NPR:

    The National Rifle Association has accepted contributions from about 23 Russians, or Americans living in Russia, since 2015, the gun rights group acknowledged to Congress.

    The NRA said in a letter to Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., unveiled on Wednesday, that the sum it received from those people was just over $2,500 and most of that was “routine payments” for membership dues or magazine subscriptions.

    About $525 of that figure was from “two individuals who made contributions to the NRA.”

    Does anyone know if the original Red Scare was more retarded?

    • Number.6

      They don’t even bother disclosing the contributions from at least 25 Britons, or Americans living in Britain.

      • CPRM

        I thought all the Britons were sent to Wales.

      • Number.6

        Truly a fate worse than death.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Nonsense. It’s not like they were sent to Alba.

      • CPRM

        I just find it funny that a country’s cultural heritage can be based on a tribe exiled centuries ago by germanic tribes who were conquered by frenchies who were conquered by norsemen.

      • Number.6

        Change the names, and that situation is pretty much the rule and not the exception in most of continental Europe.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Change the names, and that situation is pretty much the rule and not the exception in most of continental Europe. non-isolated areas of the earth.

      • Number.6

        … and are currently being conquered by another tribe.

    • CPRM

      As someone living in the area Joe McCarthy grew up in and noticing his name being stricken from existence locally less than 30 years later, he had a few points; these people are nuts.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Wyden, poster child for benevolent Big Gov thuggery. Fuck him and his NY bookstore.

    • Suthenboy

      “Does anyone know if the original Red Scare was more retarded?”

      After the USSR fell and we got a look at their records it turns out ol’ Joe was right.

      • Festus

        You’d never know that old “Tail-Gunner Joe” was actually onto something unless you read the tea leaves a little closer. Fuck those lying fucks.

      • leonadasiv

        Unpossible, I was assured that there were no commies in Hollywood.

      • Festus

        But I seen a movie with that likable actor and now I’ve made my mind up. Forever.

  54. Not an Economist

    Apparently, it is time to ask the when the President is going to step down.

    • leonadasiv

      Journo doesn’t like being slapped down for a ridiculously stupid question.

      • Festus

        Who’s worse? Acosta or that walking sack o’ shit? I can’t believe how Sarah handles these cunts with such aplomb. I guess she just pictures the press corps as a box of dough-nuts.