“I told you we couldn’t trust that goddamn fedora!” John Bolton’s mustache bellowed, his follicles twining around each other in rage and disgust.
“I think it’s a trilby,” the hair said.
“What? What did you say to me?”
“Trilby. The Excellent Hat-Like Gentleman is a trilby, not a fedora,” the hair replied.
“I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND OF HAT IT IS!” the mustache roared.
“You would know it was a trilby if you watched the cartoon,” the hair continued.
With a tortured rip of new velcro and a spurt of blood, the mustache left John Bolton’s face and launched itself at the hair. They began to grapple on Donald’s head as Bolton’s body slid bonelessly to the floor.
“Dude,” the hair said, holding the mustache off, “I weigh, like, fifty times as much as you do.”
“Shut up and fight me, youngster! You can’t take me in a fair fight! I possess the conscious will to do harm! You’re just a toupee!”
“How fucking DARE you!” the hair screamed, his voice escalating up to dog whistle octaves.
The hat inch-wormed across the desk and nudged Donald’s arm. “Donald, wake up. Wake up. They are fighting on your head. Do something about it.” Donald grumbled in his sleep and batted the hat away.
“Jong-Un,” Donald said in his dream and stroked the taut, pudgy cheek of the boyish dictator.
“Donard,” the Supreme Leader whispered, stroking the dry yet yielding penis skin of the President’s stiffened badge of office.
“Only you understand me,” Donald said. “Only you understand the sort of pressures I am under.”
“Donard,” Jong-Un said. He gathered up the slack sock of Donald’s testicles and cradled them reverently. “Donard, Donard, only you can understand me.”
“I need you, Jong. I need you inside me. Fill me with peace. Douse me with denuclearization.”
The lights of Singapore spread out around them in all direction, infinite, a night city built just for them. Naval guns thundered in the distance, great gray metal penises spurting fire and seed into the sky. Jong dropped to his knees with a dull thud on the plush hotel carpet and took Donald’s soft tumescence into his mouth.
“Oh, Donald,” Donald moaned. “Oh, Donald!” He reached into the crystal goblet and shoveled another handful of Viagra into his face. Jong’s hands grasped both of Donald’s pallid buttocks and pulled him foward, ever forward, deeper, ever deeper into his mouth.
“Donald is going to!” Donald screamed. “Donald is going to!”
In the Oval Office, hat and mustache and hair failed to see the tears of ecstasy running down his face.
Holy. Fuck.
That was special. That harkened back to the golden days of the 2016 campaign.
A new low. Well played.
Oh my.
I feel dirty.
I need eye bleach now.
Not one of those sites that shows you cute pictures to get this kind of thing out of my head. I mean I’m heading to Publix to buy a gallon of bleach which Ill then pour directly into my eyes.
I stopped reading at testicles, I may yet survive
I failed my sanity roll…
I get it now. SugarFree is in fact he Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred.
Yeah things really got weird so quickly.
Well, that settles it. After this it won’t be ‘may’. After reading this, Warty definitely *will* never masturbate again.
the dry yet yielding penis skin of the President’s stiffened badge of office
Truly SugarFree is the Faulkner of the 21st century.
This. This is what differentiates us from all other sites on the Internet.
…in both good and horrific ways.
*stifles sob and hysterical laugh*
Most sites take care not to scar their readers for life. Glibs actively encourages it.
It’s the website equivalent of being jumped into a gang.
Don’t be silly – everyone who came here was already broken.
We’d already been ridden hard and put away wet by SF’s fiction?
Speak for yourself. I know better than to get in reach of the psuedopods.
SF’s fiction
Sure. Just keep believing that, if it helps.
Precognition?
We do keep coming back.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Except for bears. Bears kill you.
And AIDS. AIDS doesn’t make you stronger.
What doesn’t kill you might make you stronger – or cripple you for life.
Well, consider it a healthy introduction to libertarianism. If you can read one of Sugarfree’s pieces without descending into utter madness, what can anyone else do that you might possibly need protection from?
It screens out the normies, which is always desirable.
*sighs in appreciation*
I fear for any fans who come looking for the innocent fun the cartoon provides. Well done!
IT’S BEAUTIFUL!!!
Best one yet.
Also why Lil’ Kim’s threat of cancelling the meeting is empty. He needs Trump’s shriveled, pale member as much as Trump needs the adulation of the Deploranazis.
I knew LosTech was a problem in the thirty-first century, but This is just sad.
lol that is kinda funny because they are basically describing a smartphone minus the phone technology but with significantly less capability
Oh, no that’s their laptops, the smartphone minus phone would be a combo of Compad and Telescan. Their phone is even sadder.
Hundreds of pages! That’s what? less than a megabyte?
shit. the future is a kindle fire.
Fill me with peace.
That’s not how it works.
Truly SugarFree is the Faulkner of the 21st century.
Better than Hemingway, that’s for sure.
For sale: MAGA hat, don’t ask!
I….I am speechless.
*furious applause*
WAY better than Hawthorne.
And Melville let us not forget that tedious gasbag.
Jesse’s not here so I’ll have to link the awesomest/WTFiest chapter of Moby Dick.
Gassbagy it may be, but tedious? Surely not!
I swear, I’m the only son of a bitch who actually enjoyed reading Moby Dick. Maybe including Melville himself.
The Great Gatsby, on the other hand…
I liked it. Though my favorite parts were basically the reference material on whaling rather than Ishmael’s ramblings.
It could be because I chose to read it, and it wasn’t the mountains of tripe being shovelled by the English teachers whose objective was to make students hate to read.
I loved Moby Dick and thought the Grate Gatsby was boring as hell, Gojira.
*High fives*
I don’t know why the Not so Great Gatsby was even published, let alone why it is part of the school curriculum.
IIRC the only American books I had for school were Tom Sawyer and a few Hemingway stories.
Probably for the best.
I guess I’m the only one around here who liked The Great Gatsby.
They both sucked.
Faulkner sucked.
Like a dictator.
I…is this what capture bonding is like? You know it is sick and wrong, but you crave it when SugarFree turns his attention our way with one of these gems? You find some satisfaction in the depravity of it all. Of being able to take it?
“Donard,” the Supreme Leader whispered, stroking the dry yet yielding penis skin of the President’s stiffened badge of office.
*weeps in stunned admiration*
*Stares unblinking*
I’m kinda more in that catatonic, teeth-chattering space right now myself.
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
*sniffles*
Trump’s ballad to Lil’ Kim:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=empygn9tqCw
Some days I contemplate 6 more years of hat and hair stories.
Most days, I self-medicate.
What makes you think they will come to an end in 2024? Can you imagine them on the set of “The Apprentice: Presidential Version”?
The greatest love story of my generation.
Only slightly OT: Michael Bay gets with the times
Meg’s escape at the end disturbed me.
To quote George Constanza, there isn’t enough voltage in the world to electroshock me back into coherence after that.
WOW, pretty much speechless after that.
As usual SF puts me in an existential funk knowing that reading that will lead to some weird-ass dreams…..
In other news: Proggy candidate with no hope of winning the general election got won a minor victory and she’s super-duper intersectional guys, like, for realz.
“legalizing marijuana”
I’ve never understood how this is a Prog policy position by default. When amendment 64 was on the ballot here, every county that went for Romney also went for legal pot except two.
I’m not sure it is in any real sense. It’s certainly a campaign issue they like to bring up when speaking near a college campus, but if Obumbles showed us anything, they really don’t like to give up state power in any arena post-election.
That being said the best thing TEAM Red could do to save itself is oust the Jeff Sessions in their ranks and steal the issue from the Progs. It would turn the political world upside down, but then they wouldn’t continue to be the stupid party, would they?
Because a lot of Republicans are stupid about it.
Drugs are bad, mkay?
Exactly. If it is a Republican issue, why have no red states legalized and many don’t even have medical yet?
Because republicans are just as authoritarian as democrats, but they want to control different things?
^^^ding-ding-ding!!! We have a winner!!!
I’m not even sure it’s that deep, with the voters. How many of us on this very forum have admitted to enjoying things just because it makes progressives angry? I think a lot of deep-red voters simply don’t back it purely because it would mean admitting that “elitist coastal liberals!” were right about something (even in a shitty “let’s tax the fuck out of it” way). We’ll stick it to them, and never legalize their hippie devil drugs! If Commiefornia is fer it, then goddamnit, we’z agin’ it!
I think this is true. Even when values shift politicians don’t change. They are solely focused on defining themselves as not “them”.
I’m sure there’s a dose of that.
People really hate thinking for themselves. It’s hard.
Because Republicans lean on the “Tough On Crime” rhetoric, and because they figure no portion of their voting constituency is willing to go the mat over it except for those who oppose legalization.
It’s the Heterodox/Orthodox problem that Gilmore referenced a few days ago.
Too be fair, I’m not sure if Alaska is considered a true “red state” but they were one of the first to legalize marijuana for medicinal purposes. Also, Ohio, which has become considerably more “red” has a more expansive medical marijuana program than “blue” Illinois.
I think divisions based upon regions is a more accurate divide than sheer politics. The Midwest and South have trailed the rest of the country in marijuana legalization even for medicinal purposes
To be fair, I do think Ohio might have passed their legalization bill if it hadn’t been such a shitshow of monopoly nonsense. But Ohio is a swing state with a lot of college students and two big urban centers.
That KY doesn’t even have a viable medial movement is just stupid.
This, I know many hardcore stoners who voted against it just for that reason.
AZ ‘s got medpot, but the full legalization referendum was defeated by a Baptist/Bootlegger alliance funded by Big Pharma.
I think the full legalization referendum might pass next time it comes up. My boss opposed it, and I may actually break my rule of never talking politics with my boss if she plans to oppose it again, pointing at the studies showing that as pot use increases, opioid use decreases.
Between WOD and school choice, the Stupid Party could at least loosen the stranglehold the Evil Party has on minority voters, but then if they did that they wouldn’t be the Stupid Party.
School choice is an absolute no brainer. That is a winning issue that also happens to be thoroughly moral; a rare combination. Why they’re not beating that drum 24/7 is beyond me… well no it’s not. Stupid party and all.
They did it in Indiana and Michigan (sort of). Pence expanded the program in Indiana after Mitch Daniels first instituted it. Teachers unions are extremely powerful, though
“Teachers unions are extremely powerful, though”
It must be nice to collect dues from people involuntarily. Almost like a tax…
I live in the most purple and populated county in the state. There was still 30% more red ballots cast than blue. Her opponent is a long time good ol’ boy rancher that is a lock for the job.
The state government(Mormon church) is hopping mad over legalized weed. They want nothing to do with it and we’re surrounded by states where it’s been legalized.
Remember kids. “Certified Family Friendly”
It’s family friendly.
Manson family friendly.
Even the Addams family wouldn’t touch it.
Holy shit. I need a shower. A bleach shower. Followed by a lye bath.
Surely this the climax of Hat and Hair.
“Surely this is the climax…”
I see what you did there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climax,_Colorado
Hrm – I was going to link a story about this town in Austria called Fucking, that had to take down it’s sign because so many tourists would stop to take photos in front of it & it was stolen a lot.
Guess what though – I’m probably now going to be investigated by my workplace because my searching for it, even though I avoided the word itself, still set off a firewall alarm.
There’s a whole roadtrip through the german speaking area that goes through both petting and kissing in Bavaria before getting to that town in Austria. There were a few more further along.
Interesting, I’ll have to try & find those if I’m ever out that way.
No reason to leave home to find those amirite?
HEEEEEYOOOOO
In Austria, those town signs also serve the purpose of letting you know you’re in a built-up area for traffic regulations (especially reduced speed limits). When you’re leaving the town, you’ll see… a sign with the name of the town and a slash through it.
(At least, that’s how it worked when I went through Fucking in 1989. Unfortunately, I can’t find the photos.)
I thought so when Trump went all John McClane, and yet here we are.
I’m confident SF has even greater heights to soar to (or depths to plumb)!
I hope not. I’m almost there. It’s got to go to 11, right?
No link, cuz lazy.
Trains were stopped from entering or exiting Ogilvie Transportation Center as police responded to the scene of unattended luggage Wednesday morning.
Metra confirmed police were called for assistance just before 10 a.m. to check out some unattended luggage.
Chicago police said a bomb squad was requested and Metra canine units were at the scene.
Metra officials all UP trains entering and leaving the train station “have ceased until further notice,” as authorities investigated.
Want to totally disrupt a major city? Go spend fifteen bucks at Goodwill for a suitcase and some old rags. Sit back, and enjoy the show.
You can shut down all of Boston with some lite brites.
Those were awesome
It showed how out of touch law enforcement is with the common man, or at least adolescent male.
That and their common trait of completely overreacting before thinking to stop and ask a question or two.
That’s the magic of colored lights.
Excuse me….lights of color.
LOL
And then get arrested for making terroristic threats, raising a false alarm, and anything else they can think of to charge you with.
Kiddie porn. Abuse of a corpse. Bestiality. Possession of SF fiction.
I’m skeptical of the kiddie porn charges. How hard is it to arrest someone, then use their computer to go to a child pornography website. I bet plenty of people don’t password protect their home computer.
Well, cops regularly rape detainees, why not get your kiddle porn freak on a little bit too?
Hey that was consensual sex between consenting adults! She just happened to be handcuffed at the time /FOP
It’s an easy frame up. Even if they did X crime, why not make it a slam dunk by adding on something nearly universally detested?
It also has the added benefit of tarring-and-feathering them as a kiddie diddler…just in case they get out of the charges, their life is still ruined.
I bet plenty of people don’t realize the NSA has your passwords.
Fill the suitcase with “the whites” for bonus points.
Proggy candidate with no hope of winning the general election
Yeah, the Montana Democrats have puked up some real winners, lately, like the “cowboy poet” or whatever he calls himself, in the special election for Zinke’s Congress seat. Maxine fucking Waters in a cowboy hat.
Not that I’m complaining, mind you.
They are a regional party.
They are an urban party. Not even regional.
When I lived in Montana I was absolutely flabbergasted at how isolated the progs were in their Missoula/Bozeman bubbles. 10 miles out of town you had real people doing real work. Drive downtown and you had patch-work pants dreadies handing out enviro-commie literature and gender-queer awareness bookstores. We talk about ‘bubbles’ a lot but those were the most distinct examples I’ve ever seen.
Boulder used to be like that, but with the avalanche of Cali/Illinois/NY refugees moving into the ‘burbs it’s hard to tell anymore.
Hopefully that’s the trend that continues as western towns keep growing; a leveling out after the initial proglodyte onslaught
Maxine fucking Waters in a cowboy hat.
that’s the one.
“Maxine fucking Waters in a cowboy hat.” Isn’t that that crazy from Fla?
Better than “Maxine Waters fucking in a cowboy hat”.
“Maxine Waters fucking a cowboy hat”
Cowboy Maxine fucking a water hat.
“Maxine Waters’ hat fucking a cowboy”
The Hat & The Hair 2: Ain’t Never Seen No Hat Like You
Waters is in CA.
California.
I remember the recent stories of some black woman representative who was being chastised for cultural appropriation for wearing gaudy cowboy hats. But I do not recall the name or home state.
We were on the same wavelength! I linked her above – Frederica Wilson.
10 miles out of town you had real people doing real work. Drive downtown and you had patch-work pants dreadies handing out enviro-commie literature and gender-queer awareness bookstores. We talk about ‘bubbles’ a lot but those were the most distinct examples I’ve ever seen.
Bozeman- it’s only ten miles to Montana, in any direction.
heh….it’s like my Texan buddy says about Austin – Austin exists to keep all the weirdos in one place, keeping the rest of Texas normal.
Maxine fucking Waters in a cowboy hat.
Hopefully that’s the trend that continues as western towns keep growing; a leveling out after the initial proglodyte onslaught
Unfortunately, the progressivism is spreading, like a nasty rash.
I like to think of Cali, Illinois and NYC/NJ as cancerous tumors metastasizing rapidly to kill the patient.
I’ve often wondered why that scale only seems to slide one way. How come other political belief systems don’t seem to spread the same way? How do more & more people keep getting infected by that ideology?
Human evolution. Get the most for the least amount of work. Stealing is the easiest way to get something for nothing.
Because the lure of “it’s not your fault, let me take care of you” overwhelms common sense when you are stressed out.
And it’s a very appealing pitch: “You deserve X, Y, and Z, but those people have swindled you out of it! Vote for me and I’ll give them a smackdown and get you all the goodies that rightfully belong to you!”
I’m not exaggerating when I say that it’s very Hitleresque. His whole pitch was that the Jews have stolen all the wealth that rightfully belongs to the German people and that someone needs to give them a smackdown and return the wealth to those who deserve it.
It was far more complex than that, but please continue…..
I’ll admit, it was typed out in haste… I should have worded it “a big part of Hitler’s pitch”.
It’s the lure of easy money, it’s got a very strong appeal.
Hitler had a lot of rich folks wrapped pretty Early on, he never had a real job, he never wanted one, but he lived pretty nicely.
Indeed. That’s why democracy goes down the toilet as soon as the government crosses the line into income redistribution.
The only time the government should be taking money from one person to give it to another is as remediation for fraud or theft. It would be nice if there were a Constitutional amendment to this effect. But even that wouldn’t stop the onslaught if there were Supreme Court justices who believe that a “living wage” is a human right and that employers are essentially stealing from their employees by paying them below that, and boom, back to square one.
RIP Glenn Frey.
I blame public schools and their whole proggie indoctrination system.
^^^This. Along with the “feel good” warm fuzzy moral superiority leftism provides.
The right provides all kinds of moral superiority too. It’s human nature to want to feel superior.
It’s not human nature. It’s closer to what Q linked to yesterday in regards to Tom Wolfe – we’ve abandoned the religious foundation of our morality and replaced it with a quest for status. People may still pay lip service to God or nature, but only when such subjects server their interest in gaining status. If you don’t get on board with groupthink, your precious status will suffer.
In order to stick to principles, you have to have them in the first place. Most people have no idea why they believe what they believe. If it feels good to feed a homeless guy, why not tax everyone to feed all the homeless guys? Problem solved, move on with your day. And since the nature of government is a one-way ratchet, the new bullshit becomes normal soon afterwards, which makes it easier to justify the next helping of bullshit. Pretty soon, you have a Detroit on your hands. People leave, and vote for the same bullshit wherever they land because they still haven’t given it any thought.
Yep, and the spreading is never working class people who have changed their opinion; it’s always spread (IMO) by rich white kids with the economic means to pick up and relocate in some “chill mountain town”…..I’ll just go ahead and say it, I fuckin’ hate hippies.
Lots and lots of kids in their 20s are running around Homeless here in Socal, I wonder what states they all came from?
Invasion IS a 2 way street
Hating hippies is just doing the Lord’s work.
I can hear Hank saying that clear as day. If it’s not a King of the Hill quote, it should be.
He may not have said it word for word, but he definitely said something to that effect.
Best King of the Hill dialogue ever:
*arguing over Khan being allowed to wrestle with boys on the school team*
Peggy: Well, Hank, did having a woman on the Supreme Court ruin it?
Hank: Yes. And that woman’s name was Earl Warren
Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you right now.
Bobby: Dad, can I have a gun?
Hank: Son, do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words?
That show needs to come back on the air.
I would gather that Hank did not vote for Trump (he’s your typical ‘values voter’); Dale didn’t vote, because he’s Dale; Boomhauser voted for Trump, and Bill voted for Hillary to impress a woman at the voting booth.
And GT chokes on the final day of the golf regionals. Augusta shoots -14 today to GT’s -2 and passed us for the 5th spot.
Its always Augusta.
Both years they won the title with Patrick Reed, they defeated GT in the head-to-head match play portion of the finals. Both years GT was the better team.
How come other political belief systems don’t seem to spread the same way? How do more & more people keep getting infected by that ideology?
Because humane activist generosity will inevitably overwhelm leave-me-the-fuck-alone-ism.
That and children are indoctrinated from age 5 into progressivism
It’s not really that hard. 5 year olds are naturally progressives (“GIBSMEDAT!” “IT’S NOT FAIR!” “Mommy and Daddy take care of me”), you just have to prevent them from developing any additional critical thinking skills past that age.
Not if they go to Catholic school (excluding Jesuit institutions).
*Bishop Barron nods approvingly*
https://www.nationalreview.com/the-morning-jolt/turn-pennsylvania-red-no-red/
Broke: The base of the Democratic Party are working class voters who are weary of socialism, but approve of government support services
Woke: The base of the Democratic Party are wealthy urban voters who are comfortable with the word “socialism”
Bespoke: The base of the Democratic Party has just nominated two dues paying members of Democratic Socialists of America
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHiXADtvzQU
The wordplay on that article brings to mind the actual, no shit, reason that cable news networks chose blue as the color for the Dems when they started doing those electoral maps. They didn’t want to drop the mask enough to associate the Dems with being “red” (even though they are). Elsewhere in the world, blue is typically the more right-conservatarian parties and left-liberal parties are red (for obvious reasons).
And because of that I still get confused when people talk about the red and blue parties. Get off of my lawn.
Bingo!^
I’m not sure if that was a conscience effort, but I always found the selection of the colors to be bizarre too. “Blue” has always been associated with European Toryism or Conservatism, which is distinctly different from American conservatism, but still partly related. “Red” has always been associated with the European Left and American progressives have everything in common with the European Left. That color scheme has always seemed strange to me.
“NBC kept using red-for-Democrats, blue-for-Republicans until at least 1984. By 1988, no network footage that we found used that combination, instead opting for the now-familiar Republican red, Democratic blue.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/11/08/red-vs-blue-a-brief-history-of-how-we-use-political-colors/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.d73dc7015790
You think NBC didn’t switch it on purpose? I mean, after all, Reagan (the latest Literally Hitler Republikkkan was in office) we have to make the Dems’ (socialist) alternative more palatable!
I have read multiple sources that the networks used to alternate red and blue for repubs and dems each presidential election. During the Bush/Gore/SCOTUS shit show, Red and Blue became short hand for the two parties. It has stuck since then.
That’s true. I’ve seen Reagan’s landslide map that was almost solid blue.
From the wiki posted below: NBC newsman David Brinkley famously referred to the 1980 election map outcome showing Republican Ronald Reagan’s 44-state landslide as resembling a “suburban swimming pool”.
Wikiepedia says it’s more complicated.
Contemporary use
The advent of color television prompted television news reporters to rely on color-coded electoral maps, though sources conflict as to the conventions they followed. One source claims that in the six elections prior to 2000 every Democrat but one had been coded red. It further claims that from 1976 to 2004, the broadcast networks, in an attempt to avoid favoritism in color-coding, standardized on the convention of alternating every four years between blue and red the color used for the incumbent party.[13][14]
According to another source, in 1976, John Chancellor, the anchorman for NBC Nightly News, asked his network’s engineers to construct a large illuminated map of the United States. The map was placed in the network’s election-night news studio. If Jimmy Carter, the Democratic candidate that year, won a state, it would light up in red; if Gerald Ford, the incumbent Republican president, carried a state, it would light up in blue. The feature proved to be so popular that, four years later, all three major television networks would use colors to designate the states won by the presidential candidates on Election Night, though not all using the same color scheme. NBC continued to use the color scheme employed in 1976 for several years. NBC newsman David Brinkley famously referred to the 1980 election map outcome showing Republican Ronald Reagan’s 44-state landslide as resembling a “suburban swimming pool”.[15]
CBS, from the 1984 election on, used the opposite scheme: blue for Democrats, red for Republicans. ABC used yellow for Republicans and blue for Democrats in 1976. However, in 1980 and 1984, ABC used red for Republicans and blue for Democrats. In 1980, when independent John B. Anderson ran a relatively high-profile campaign as an independent candidate, at least one network provisionally indicated that they would use yellow if he were to win a state. Similarly, in 1992 and 1996, at least one network would have used yellow to indicate a state won by Ross Perot; neither of them did claim any states in any of these years.
Maybe I’m imagining things, but before Bush-Gore they DID use blue for GOP and red for Democrats, didn’t they?
I guess I should refresh once in a while before posting.
You are all missing the point here. Democrats are now openly nominating socialists as their nominees.
They’ve been socialists for a long time, it’s refreshing that they’re being honest.
I’m looking forward to the woketarian take: “Actually, opposing socialists is not libertarian”
You’re too generous – they will say that opposing socialism is actually contrary to libertarianism.
You know, the Sarwark Doctrine.
Wouldn’t surprise me at this point.
Except now they are communists pretending to be socialists.
^^^THIS^^^
And they are fucking radical douchebag envious communists.
I still get confused when people talk about the red and blue parties. Get off of my lawn.
#metoo
The Twitter equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming LALALA I’M NOT LISTENING LALALA
If they can’t reach them then how did they use to win these voters a mere six to eight years ago? Keep relying on hipsters as your base. That’s sure to be a winning strategy
How can the left ever overcome the control of every major metropolitan newspaper, every major news network other than Fox, the entire entertainment industry, etc?
Oh, wait, they don’t have to overcome any of that because all of it is squarely on their side.
I am really enjoying the belated attempts to rationalize Hillary’s comments about rural/suburban whites and/or Trump voters: “You stupid crackers, don’t you know she has your best interests at heart and was just telling you what’s good for you because she cares so much????”
That guy is a damned moron.
He’s also posted in support of fossil fuel bans…
Bans
“Dr. Vox” – gee, shouldn’t a website that undoubtedly Fucking Loves Science have an actual doctor as Dr. Vox?
Ever since I actually got a PhD, I can’t use the “I’ve got a PhD, a pretty huge dick!” joke anymore.
Do they take it away if you do that?
(pronoun ambiguity intentional)
Silly BH! Much like libertarians, there are no female physicists!
I can’t encourage this type of smug condescension enough. Keep booting people out of that “big tent” of yours Dems.
David Roberts? Hero of the 2004 ALCS?
David Roberts?
Hero of the 2004 ALCS?Greatest villain of our time.That fucking Tony Clark ground-rule double in the top of the 9th in game 5, I’ll see that one in my mind forever. All it had to do was hit the wall and Sierra scores and the series is through.
ah for crissakes
Does he ever get around to describing which part of the cartoonish caricature of Democrats is NOT true?
Because all the reasons I hate them are things that they say for themselves, loudly and often.
Holy shit that guy went from huffing his prog-high out of a paper bag, to going, “FUCK IT” and grabbing a pressurized tank of *100% Pure, Concentrated Prog Gas* and shoving the nozzle directly into his brain
https://twitter.com/SenatorLankford/status/996516086525853696
US Senator says something that was not controversial just five years ago and commentators debate over whether or not the First Amendment ensures separation of “Church and Twitter”.
Clearly none of them are familiar with the “no religious test” clause to the Constitution.
Idiots with a platform = Twitter
https://www.politico.com/blogs/under-the-radar/2017/09/11/amy-barrett-judicial-nominee-religion-242550
Idiots with a platform= US Senate
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/us/politics/crossfire-hurricane-trump-russia-fbi-mueller-investigation.html
The FBI hits back at the narrative that this is a political witch hunt. Notice the weasel words the NYT’s employs. They were the ones who broke the George Papadopoulos story and claimed that it was the start of the investigation. Now that’s been revealed as bullshit. So how do they phrase things here? It “helped provide the foundation for a case.”
This explanation for what that text REALLY means? Makes no fucking sense.
Here’s something to cleanse your brains.
WOULD.
That’s definitely the best angle for her, though.
I’m just going to note that this girl is with that group from Kent State that had the “diaper protest” against safe spaces. She’s clearly seeking attention. Also, of note, she helped found Liberty Hangout, which is about as ‘libertarian’ as TOS at this point (except in the opposite direction)
Still would.
Oh, I don’t disagree on the “would”
Yes.
My brain was clean…
then I started reading the responses.
Fuck the world.
Reminds me: at my old job, one of my coworkers had a picture on his desk of his wife posing in lingerie with an AR15. No complaints to HR. I had the coolest coworkers ever. That’s the only thing I miss about that job.
Tundra and Your Holiness, your next senator says “hello”:
They also get to watch their children starve to death at the point of the Crown’s gun.
“If it pleases the Crown, may I feed my child?”
Children are economically unviable and wise countries discourage them. Importing fully-grown inhabitants saves money and time until such a date when cloning as presented in mass media becomes viable.
The ENB woketarian perspective
https://twitter.com/ThomasEWoods/status/996571446641156096
The “alt right” perspective or rather the “libertarians who don’t concede natural rights just because they have become unpopular” perspective.
“Are you second-guessing the decision of the NHS? Constable, this man just committed treason. Arrest him”
Treason is a mere crime against the country, and who gives a whistle about that?
What he committed was blasphemy, a crime against The Divine, and should be treated with the seriousness it deserves.
^ This.
The government is GOD in most of Europe.
NHS is beyond mere government. No PM or bureaucrat, no matter how strong the mandate, will dare fuck with it.
Which led to the odd situation where all the reforms simply bypassed it, and invited more private delivery by reducing the obstacles to it.
MORE.?!?
You know, if Charlie Gard’s parents had made a public appeal to the Crown/members of the Royal family, NHS may have been shamed into accommodating them.
Make an appeal to Megan Markle, that should tweak their inbred nipples.
I’d tweak Megan Markle’s nipples.
Freedom has no value if a guy who you don’t like can get elected president.
R in office = DEMOCRACY IS BULLSHIT
D in office = RESPECT OUR DEMOCRATIC TRADITIONS
Oh also: “The only reason they don’t think we respect them is because Fox News!”
LOL! He spelled “her” h-i-m.
OT: the growing obligation in the US to pay for and tip for the same service (e.g. Haircuts) is fucked up. Change my mind.
Isn’t any service that you tip for already paid for?
Im contrasting haircuts (you pay for the haircut and then you tip for the haircut) with restaurant service (you pay for the food, you tip for the waitservice).
The guy that cuts my hair is the owner of the shop… but I still feel compelled to tip him, which is stupid, considering he is the factory-owning, orphan-beating oppressor in this situation.
Similar; when the bar owner is the one slinging drinks. I tip maybe 50% of what I normally would in this situation.
You pay for the food AND the waitservice. The tip is to encourage higher quality service, but it’s not the cost of the service.
You’re assuming the cost of the food doesn’t include the labor costs. Do you tip pizza guys if the shop charges a delivery fee?
Or what Hitler said.
It includes baseline labor costs. Tip is additional income, tax-free in practice even though it’s not supposed to be. Removing tip will either increase labor cost, or result in poorer performing labor taking up the same position.
Tip is also voluntary, with only coercion being applied that of the social kind. You are absolutely free to tip $0 and tell them to fuck off and there’s nothing they can do. Pay less than posted cost of food and there will be actual consequences (probably).
No. Bellhop, porter (if there are any left) valet, concierge, washroom attendant.
All those people get salaries which are paid by whatever business you are patronizing. As far as I know, none of them work solely for tips. The compartmentalization that “that part isn’t what I’m paying for” is only in your mind, I think.
I think the compartmentalization is legitimate. I go to a restaurant for food. The waitservice is an add-on that, though I pay for it in the cost of the food, is something unnecessary to the primary purpose of the establishment. I could just as easily have ordered food from a food truck and not had waitservice.
On the other hand, you can’t get a haircut without getting a haircut. It is the essential purpose of the barbershop, and the entire cost of the haircut should be priced in.
Same with my bellhop and concierge examples. I paid for a hotel room. The front desk employees don’t get a tip because they are the ones assigning me my room. The bellhop and concierge are perks and if I use them, I tip them.
…not that I ever stay at hotels with bellhops or concierges…
*leaves the light on for Mike*
19 business trips to Moscow staying at the same hotel.
The bell hops would greet me by name.
By that definition of “paid for” I guess you are correct.
No tip = higher charge for the service for the customer, and higher salary/hourly rate for employees, leading to fewer employees around, making service overall worse. c.f. continental Europe.
I’d rather pay a higher price. Especially when it comes to things like the food service industry. I feel like I’m under the threat of having my food fucked with if I don’t tip well — even if I didn’t tip well because the service was shit. Sometimes I still like the food, but the waiter is terrible. In that situation, I feel like I still have to tip well or I risk having my food fucked with next time, so instead I either just bite the bullet and tip well anyway, or I never come back to that establishment without a disguise.
Yeah, there’s no good way to resolve it, because in any place that wants to keep kitchen staff, tips are split between them and wait staff anyway, so bad service isn’t the only thing penalized by the customer (rest of staff will notice that Larry over there is dragging it down for everyone and may or may not do something about it).
I used to think the same way, but then I realized, no, I’m cheap and will go for lower price, other things being equal. It’s no different than how “$15 will not affect good restaurants!” – yes it will, and tipping is first thing hit.
higher charge for the service for the customer,
I don’t get how this follows. $25 is $25, whether it’s a $20 haircut and a $5 tip or a $25 haircut and no tip.
I don’t know that it really costs more, but I do believe you get much worse service, on average, in countries where tipping isn’t a thing.
No one makes you give $5. You can give $10, or $3, or $0. $25 is always $25.
The issue is that if i tip $0 recurringly , the quality of the service suffers in response. There is some secret, unstated price a few dollars above the printed price that makes the barber happy and willing to continue to provide quality haircuts.
Change my mind.
No, I will not. You are correct.
I get confused sometimes if tips are expected. I took the BILs out to a strip club and bought them some lap dances. The prices seemed high enough that I figured gratuity was built-in. Apparently I may have been mistaken on that and feel like an ass abou tit.
Typo of the day.
That’s a full fledged John-o
The number of times I’ve caught myself almost making that same typo in a work email is much larger than I am comfortable with.
There’s an opportunity there for a work-friendly spellcheck add-on.
Your work would give you grief for a typo that turned a pronoun into a bird? I mean I could see it if you somehow typed teat.
Tit
Teat
Smug pedantry is fun
I am udderly insufferable sometimes.
And, that’s news to me too. I would have thought a lap dance fee was basically a giant tip, but I guess I could see an argument to the contrary. I’m sure that the uh, service consultant, doesn’t get to pocket the whole thing.
I’d assume like any place, strip club will pay the girls minimum it’ll get away with, and take a cut of lap dance charge. Unless they are total scum (in a strip business? impossible!), tips are for girls to keep. So I guess it boils down to, do you want to make girls happier?
Also, I always figured dropping bills on chicks was primarily so the other patrons would see you do it, but it’s really not my scene. I don’t even know how local clubs reacted when $1 and $2 bills were replaced with coins…
If the performers are keeping 50%+ of what you pay for a dance, then I’d say no additional tip is warranted. You’ve pretty much already tipped them. I have no idea what the typical arrangement with the management is.
Not sure how it works in other states (or areas of Texas for that matter!) but all the places I’ve been to treat the dancers as independent contractors. The dancers actually pay the club a fee (often on a sliding scale depending on when they come in, with later arrival causing a *higher* payout) for, effectively, facility rental. Thus all of the money they get is direct to them, with a minimum threshold that gets kicked back to the club.
I frequent the same places on a regular basis.
I tip well (but not outrageous). So most of the staff recognize me, and I get better service.
I also tip in cash, because it one of the few ways to tell the government Fuck You That’s Why.
Beat me by a minute with the same reasons.
So most of the staff recognize me, and I get better service.
Bingo. An extra $5 or $10 at the local bar and grill goes so much farther than an extra $50 at a place you go once a year. You do that 4 or 5 weeks in a row and next thing you know your drink’s already waiting for you when you get to your table and they’re asking you if want the usual.
Only if the service is outstanding.
I’ve had friends admonish me for not tipping 20% to a server who was absolutely terrible. Morons.
^ this is the problem these days. Many (most?) people think tipping is mandatory. Including wait staff. And not a paltry 10% anymore either.
This is what I’m getting at. I have zero problem tipping for excellent service. I have a huge problem with the creeping obligation to tip in all circumstances where a service is provided.
Just don’t do it and damn the consequences. To Hell with everyone else.
*adjusts monocle*
*beats the tipping orphan*
Most people think the government can provide free health care. People are morons.
Excellent point.
I just knew we had some common ground.
Agree. I’m a very generous tipper – in proportion with the quality of the service. Shitty service = small tip or no tip. It’s not automatic, the defeats the whole purpose.
Bartenders think I’m a tightwad, waitresses think I’m JP Morgan. I have a problem tipping the former everytime they take 10 seconds to reach in a cooler and hand me a Strohs, but I think nothing of leaving 40% for the later when I get a meal.
Tips in places that I am liable to go to again are more in the nature of investments in future services (or protection money, either way).
I still tip in places that I am unlikely to go to again, but in those it more tightly linked to how good the service was (read: how cute the waitress was).
i am a libertarian
that said, i believe if you post a very simple “yes/no” technical question to a user forum, and someone with “power user/gold member/moderator”-rating replies “read the manual”…
….they should be executed by firing squad without trial.
You trying to enact some free labor?
I hate broke-ass friends hitting me up for cash. Hate hate hate it. Go sell your guitar you stoner.
And then he plays it off as if it’s flattering that he thinks I’m financially secure enough to ask. Fuck you, man. And fuck me, too, why do I feel bad about having to say no?
You need new friends.
Take the guitar as collateral. If he doesn’t pay back in X days, sell the guitar.
Pawn Shop
Yuck. I don’t have any friends who would do that. I do have semi-distant relatives (nephews in particular) who I could see doing it in the future.
https://twitter.com/ZellTietj/status/996439425814007808
Someone forgot that the internet is forever
She was too busy making sammiches.
Her proggy fuckboy has his work cut out for him tonight.
You’re kind of obsessed, JS. Do we need to stage an intervention?
Irish had ESB, Sargon had Jessica Valenti, I had Anita Sarkeesian. Let the man have his muse!
We all have Tulpa.
Christ, yes. Save me, Tundra
His obsession is the Nick Gillespie of obsessions.
*Looks for the links* *hyperventilates* RIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
Eh, this thread is lively enough.
Break out the pitchforks & torches!!!!!
It’s on!
*sigh*
I guess it’s off again.
*Unflips keyboard, puts tie back on*
Now THAT’S the content you should find on a Family Friendly site.