The Martyrdom
No one could possibly say that she hadn’t suffered for her faith, the faith she had in America. Oh, how she suffered. As the arrows did pierce the tender breast of Sebastian, as the skin was peeled from brave Bartholomew, so did Hillary suffer. The ignominy of defeat at the short-fingered hands of Donald Trump would have been more than a lesser person–a Gore, say, or a Biden–could have possibly survived. To have Her Election stolen, to have been Betrayed by the Jew Zuckerberg and the Godless Russians and the Traitor Comey was Calumny and Disaster. It was Her Turn and in Denial thus was Hillary Martyred.
To be denied Her Turn was a living death, but, cruelly, did the Church wait for her actual death before giving her the honor she deserved. And when that box that supposedly held Her Body was lowered into the ground, the process was begun.
The Trial
Who could say that Hillary was not a Servant of God? Her Deeds, Her Works, Her Words, Her Thoughts leave no doubt that She was a Servant of God. She sought to heal the sick. She sought to shatter the glass ceiling. She battled the Bearded Patriarchs in their lair. She graciously stepped aside for the Black Man to be President.
And who could say She was not heroic in Her virtue? Did she not defend Her marriage against all who would assault it? Did She not serve Her Country, Her People with no thought of personal gain? Did She not know poverty and abjection? Did She not wander in the Wilderness?
Being Venerable, it was appropriate and correct for those who loved Her to pray for Intercession. A blind Black Child who kissed Her Grave was restored of sight! A prayer to Our Lady of the Turkey Neck did cause the ICE handcuffs on a Dreamer to spring open! The pleading of a non-binary labor organizer resulted in them petition being filled with signatures without their even having to leave they van! At the very beginning of Foul Trump’s 2nd Inauguration Speech, Her statue at Yale began to menstruate!
Advocatus diaboli nullus
Unsure of what to make of all this, Commie Pope sent an old priest and a young priest to investigate. They were appropriately suspicious of this Methodist who was clearly a Catholic saint. But, Lo, what did they find? The blind child could now see. The Dreamer did go free. The Girl with the Ugly Haircut did have a filled petition. Clots did flow sluggishly from cloven stone.
What choice was left?
Hillary, Our Lady of Sorrows, Patron Saint of Stolen Elections, forgive us our trespasses as we must never forgive those who have trespassed against You. Lead us from the Temptations of Fake News paid for by Putinbots and the baskets of the Deplorable Nation. Beset on all sides by enemies, lend us Your Strength, Sweet Lady. Amen.
This woman should be making me license plates and wearing an orange jump suit.
Custom tailored double wide orange pantsuit, extra room in the cankles.
Don’t forget pleated cargo pockets for storing snacks, i.e. the souls of innocents.
I threw up in my mouth a little.
I projectile vomited…a lot.
Needs more stuttering breast milk!
Was this a bet that you could write something G rated, yet more offensive and infuriating than your NC-17 work? ‘Cause if so you win.
^ yup ^
He did drop a hard J.
Never doubt SugarFree’s ability to harm your sanity with writing.
The pleading of a non-binary labor organizer resulted in them petition being filled with signatures without their even having to leave they van
Oh, bra-vo, SF. Bravo indeed!
At first read I thought is was a mistake.
I should have known better.
Truly inspirational.
*wipes solitary tear of blood from upper lip*
Solitary, huh?
Blood was shooting from both of my nostrils like an anime character after I was done with that…thing.
Ummm…I don’t think that means what you want it to mean in this context.
Or maybe he meant it exactly that way. Maybe Zunalter likes the way Herself fills a pair of panties? It’s not for us to judge.
Thank you MikeS, finally someone understands…
Very touching and appropriate.
“She battled the Bearded Patriarchs in their lair.”
“At the very beginning of Foul Trump’s 2nd Inauguration Speech, Her statue at Yale began to menstruate!”
LOL, that is pure gold.
As ever, the Glucoseless One leaves me simultaneously impressed and disgusted. Bravo, sir. A biting piece of satire in the Olde Style.
It is said that she shall rise from the dead on the third election.
The Once and Future Living Saint
She suffered under the pompous president, was denied 3 times by doubting Podesta and at the last supper she told the apostles that one of your laptops will betray me.
How does the Fredo Corleone of the dnc not get branded the Judas Iscariot of the whole thing?
‘I’m smarht too Mike!’
“Hillary, Our Lady of Sorrows, Patron Saint of Stolen Elections, ”
You mean she is the first banana-republicesque person to have such a mighty entity behind her helping her steal an election to still lose it?
The only true sign that we’re not in a banana republic is that the election result, while greatly hated by the losers, was actually honored. If only barely. I think impeachment, absent some genuine revelation of severe wrongdoing, would push us over the edge.
You miss the deep state attempt to pin a crime the Obama admin was committing on the guy that won in the hopes of getting him impeached, or at a minimum to render him ineffective? Cause this level of corruption and criminality is shit I remember seeing in South/Central America, Asia, Africa, and Europe.. Never seen this kind of blatant politically driven activity by the most dangerous and powerful 3 letter US Gov agencies to favor one political party and to tell the American people that their will does not matter.
The constitutional order is intact, if greatly shaken. The current state of affairs can be lain almost entirely at Congress’s feet. The legislative branch is derelict in its duty to restrain the civil service monitor it created.
monster, not monitor
The Founders were right about many things, but they were wrong as fuck about Congress jealously guarding their prerogatives.
If you see the congress critters of today thinking their prerogatives is to keep their lucrative jobs (i.e. get reelected and not rocking the boat gives you better odds of doing so), then they are guarding their prerogatives quite fine….
I wish they would have given the constitution teeth. Violating it should be a criminal offense.
The unfortunate reality is the constitution is just a piece of paper and it is up to the public to enforce it.
I wish they would have given the constitution teeth. Violating it should be a criminal offense.
I don’t this would work out as you intend. A good many modern coups have used “violations of the constitution” as putative justifications to oust and imprison the opposition.
I am A-OKAY woth putting politicians in prison. They are less dangerous there.
The constitutional order is intact,
Too early to say. Even assuming that the vast administrative/deep state is Constitutional, which is highly debatable, we still don’t know if the administrative/deep state has truly slipped the bonds of accountability to elected officials and the rule of law. They are fighting mightily to be completely unaccountable, and they haven’t lost yet. If they win, I see no reason to say that the Constitutional order is intact.
There are only a few of the crazies pushing the impeachment narrative who actually want to try to impeach Trump, or even think it’s possible. It’s all about firing up their base by making them believe that the election was stolen and that Trump is a pawn of Russian oligarchs. Democrats know their constituents are dumb, else they wouldn’t vote for Democrats. But it’s not working out in their favor, their 15 pt lead in the general midterm election polls has now completely evaporated. Mostly due to the fact that they are voting in the farthest left kooks they can find in the primaries. 4 avowed socialists just in the latest bout of primaries. That might be all great with their far left proggy base, but independents who now outnumber both R and D? *looks around, economy is great, Trump hasn’t burned the place down as predicted, looks at far left loony toon D candidates*
And what will they do when they lose more seats in Nov? Move further left, of course.
I hope you are right. Nothing would please me more than these commie assholes getting marginalized more.. I would love to lick the tears off their dirty faces…
You want to know just how dumb the Democrats believe their base to be – just watch, after their next winning campaign it will all be about a strategic reset with Russia. And the base will lap it up – oh, of course our glorious leaders can do that! Not like those nasty Repubs.
I wish this was the case. Here in Iowa, we have “IMPEACH” billboards on I-35.
Trump won Iowa though, so I doubt most Iowans are really down with that.
Don’t worry, all those states are passing laws to give their electoral votes to the winner of the national popular vote, so we are doing our best to fix our past mistakes, regardless of what our voters want.
I’d be curious in a rubbernecking-at-a-gruesome-accident kind of way to see the fallout of a successful impeachment. Bill Clinton was impeached…and then nothing else really happened, because it was mostly symbolic and sort of a last-ditch effort to get his ass on something. If Trump gets impeached for being grody, I think it’ll be the same, but if he gets impeached for something more actionable and Congress proceeds to actually remove him from office, then shit gets interesting.
The slain Lamb is worthy!
Take the power, the wealth, the wisdom, the strength!
Take the honor, the glory, the blessing!
Congratulations SF. I foresee a Vatican III to deal with this heresey, maybe even a Third Nicene Council. You want to weaponize the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith? This is how you do it.
I think she could be retroactively converted to Catholicism, like Mormons do with their ancestors and distant relatives.
I mean, this wouldn’t exactly be the first bloody pagan god adopted and turned in a saint, right?
So you’re saying that you’re probably Mormon?
I’m saying that we are all probably Mormon. That’s the reason they keep that giant genealogy database.
You still have to accept your baptism in the great beyond to be converted SF.
OK, but my personal planet better be good. Like boob mountains and kind bud trees sort of good.
“Warty Hugeman and the Planet of Endless Boobs and Bud”
We Catholics already have Joan of Arc thank you very much.
Let Hell deal with that rodent.
I’m thinking that Hillary should probably fake her own death now. Because after Commie Pope goes away, she’ll probably have missed her best chance of the Sainthood. Then she can magically reappear as Saint Hilldawg around June of 2020 and take on the notorious Trumputin to finally get her turn and bring in a 1000 year progtopia reign.
Herbert predicted the outcome of the ecumenical council you are contemplating – The Orange Catholic Bible.
How many millions died in the riots following its release?
The original appendix doesn’t mention riots after the release, but there were anti-ecumenical riots during the entire seven years the Commission of Ecumenical Translators did their work:
Although later books and prequals might retcon that.
No, that was what I was thinking of.
Now I feel I need to reread it. The approximately 3billion readings didnt stick, as I havent read it for over a decade now.
Sugarfree for President!
“He’ll make it worse, but you’re going to want to see how.”
I’m still voting for Zombie ALMANIAN!
*plays Amazing Grace*
Allergies are acting up again. Pollen count is high today.
It’s too bad that bagpipes are a violation of the NAP.
Hail Hillary, full of corruption, ctuhulu is with thee.
Blessed art though amongst demons
and blessed is the abomination from thy womb, chelsea.
Holy Hillary,
Bringer of Darkness
May we atone for our sins now,
until the hour of our deaths.
You think it will stop when you die? She will find a way not to just corpse fuck you, but to torture your soul for eternity…
There is a barren plain where a perpetual wind howls. Hillary will be waiting.
Is the sound the wind makes ‘RHEEEE!”?
It’s that high keening wail that rose up the night of the election from Hillary viewing parties.
You’re my motivation to quit smoking, SF.
Meth?
PCP dipped joint?
barren plain
Webb Hubbell is Chelsea’s real father but Hillary isn’t her real mother?
Chelsea is more like the fruiting body of a vast, unseen fungal network.
Jeezus. The dry heaves just stopped.
“She has to be in here, somewhere!”
Wait wut? I thought Chelsea’s real dad was Janet Reno?
In class, Monday: instructor’s giving an anecdote about attending a speech given by the late former AG. Couldn’t remember her name, so he asked the class and described her as “Tall, kinda manly.”
https://youtu.be/bPVF3AAom14
Rumor had it that she had a bigger one that Bill….
Lach, congratulations on the little girl on the way.
Glad you seem to have made it through the rough patch, it’s not easy.
Thanks Ron. I appreciate it.
You know most all politicians , especially those aspiring to be president, are corrupt, power hungry, and blatantly self serving. There’s just something about hillary though that makes it so easy to see.
But she was dead broke when they left the White House!
Didn’t they take all the “Ws” from the computer keyboards and all the china? I heard the plan was to auction those to their adoring masses, but that was shelved once they became aware of the speaking circuit mega money sham scam Bill profited from…
That’s what irritates me so much about hearing Lefties whining about Trump’s egotism and self-interest. They complain about that, but they totally fall for Obama’s phony humility and modesty.
Obama feigned humility and modesty?
All I saw was a pompous ass that wanted everyone to know how smart he was when there was no sign of intelligence there at all.
Well, that’s what his supporters believed. It’s just one of those lies that was repeated so many times that it became part of their worldview. Kind of like his alleged amazing speaking ability.
I once saw a young woman say, “No, Obama was a great president! Oh, when I’d hear him speak, it just took me awaaaayyy!!” and clutched her chest and threw her head back in ecstasy.
My first thought was that female suffrage was a mistake, but then I remembered that male political commentator who said he “got a tingle up my leg” when he heard Obama speak, so men aren’t much better.
It’s no surprise that the left want more girly men around.
Chris “Tibia Tingle” Matthews
Yeah, I mean as evidence, it’s not difficult to find photos of him where he’d drown if it rained from the water going down his upturned nose.
They’ll never let me be president.
Playa Manhattan for president!
You, president? This is the greatest country in the world. We’ve got a whole system set up to keep people like you from ever becoming president. Quit your daydreaming melon head!
+1 Abe Simpson.
I would pay cash money dollars for that candle.
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.
My prayers have been answered. I like SF’s better, though.
Can you imagine that visage looking at you every day? *shudder*
I like this one better.
https://www.amazon.com/Saint-Stormy-Daniels-Prayer-Candle/dp/B07BQHKWZP?ref=hdn_dp_car_mba_3
Much more fun to “anoint” her IYKWIMAITYD.
That one no longer appears, but there are others available: https://www.etsy.com/listing/233374391/saint-hillary-clinton-prayer-candle
Not a cult. Not at all.
I just scrolled through two pages of reviews and didn’t see a single person that bought the Hillary Clinton one.
My best guess is that perhaps someone did buy one, but they don’t want to publicly admit it by posting a review.
OT: What is the deal with management types?
Being a numbers/data guy, I like to deal in concretes. Show me the fucking data and let me draw my own conclusions. Why is it when I put together a presentation that will be shown to skip-level executives, immediate managers shit themselves trying to massage the data and lead said exec to some predetermined conclusion? Why bother showing data at all if you’re just going to present a bunch of “technically true” but loaded BS in service of your preconceptions? Also, why are you so fucking afraid of the exec actually asking questions?
Pointless.
As a management type, my answer is that there are a lot of shit managers.
Powerpoint is a tool for dumb fucks to use pretty pictures and animations to keep even dumber fucks they report to misinformed (but in the direction they want to push that misinformation), which is why I have refused to take any job that requires Powerpoint presentations to management Q.
I actually had a senior level manager once tell me that if he really had to actually look at information rather than going with his gut (meaning whatever results in the biggest short term benefit and bonus for him) he would never be able to do his job. He didn’t like me commenting that a nutless monkey (reference to that movie with Less Nesman) could do that.
Because management isn’t about keeping all-options-open; its about channeling decisions into pre-existing frameworks.
all information is for the purpose of decision-making. and usually those choices are binary and pre-set. “Do the deal? or Don’t do the aquisition?” “Launch the new product? Or don’t”
if the information doesn’t clearly aid in those specific processes, its unnecessarily complicating. If a mid level manager tries to spin info in a certain direction, its because his job is to aid in one aspect of those question-answering process. If the info doesn’t clearly suggest one or the other, they’re going to catch shit for wasting people’s time.
as a data/numbers guy i’ve frequently been in a position of the “guy frustrated that his hard work and conclusions were tossed out and replaced with canned horseshit that had little to do w/ intel i collected. it felt like my work was wasted, and i even said, “why didn’t you just tell me what conclusions you WANTED me to come to, and i could have brought you that?”
but then i’ve also sometimes been the guy delivering the presentation. I know that no one cares about the info by itself- they care about “what important – if anything – does this say about X problem we have to make a decision about”
^this.
The data is on the slide to make the exec feel good about the amount of thought that went into your decision. If they completely trusted your judgment, the slide could simply say “yes” or “no” to the issue at hand.
As a data guy, I’ve come to the realization that the data doesn’t mean anything to them. I’m being paid for my ability to analyze it and provide the conclusions. If I can make that analysis and conclusion support the path already chosen, then even better.
Well yeah, if they wanted to parse data, why would they need data guys to do it for them?
As a data guy I have come to the realization that the data collection and analysis was meaningless in 95% of the cases, because management already knew what they wanted it to say and would act accordingly. If you gave them what they wanted they would be all happy. regardless of what the data and analysis actually said.
I frequently make up dashboards to show executives the meaningless stats they want to see and use funny acronyms like S.H.I.T to name them. I actually spend more time coming up with clever names for them than I do building them. The output is useless, but it keeps the mouth-breathers happy.
it keeps the mouth-breathers happy.
*closes mouth, concentrates on breathing through nose, blacks out*
I don’t get why “mouth-breather” emerged as a pejorative term.
Well, I guess we found the mouth-breather.
Think of it as an update of “slack-jawed”.
It’s not my fault my nose can’t carry enough volume of air to oxygenate my blood.
See also: management consultants. Mostly they just provide cover for things you intended to do anyway.
If you’re not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Despair.com seems to be asleep right now. Otherwise I would like to the graphics for Consulting.
Not in my case (medical field), but I can see business analytics being that way.
Look at the cost vs. the return of outsourcing software development as an example of mountains of data being ignored. Saying you got cheap coders to do the work, even if said work results in poor quality software that can’t be scaled or updated a year or so later, still gets you the big bonus and promotion. The next guy comes in and repeats the cycle. Over and over..
If the stockholders only knew…
The last company I worked for had reports they were sending out daily, and basing decisions on. For years I pointed out that their reports were pulling incorrect data and were flawed, and demonstrated the issues with their methodology. The response I got back was, “They’re close enough.” As an example, they would send a weekly report. If you asked them to run the same week’s number a month later, the two reports would be different.
The truly galling part was them taking data from SQL dumping it to Excel, and then “cleaning it up” there.
That sentence gave me PTSD flashbacks of a truly terrible job I once had…
It was in the parts warehouse of a major automaker. They had run out of warehouse space for service parts (parts shipped to dealers and auto repair shops) so they were using some off-site warehouses, but they didn’t want to give “outsiders” access to their main warehouse management system (WMS), so I had to basically monitor the supply of each part that was in those warehouses, determine what parts were needed in the network, and put together lists of parts to go on a trailer to be shipped to “our” warehouses. This required looking up the dimensions of each pallet and trying to fill up trailers to at least 95% capacity.
FIrst off, the whole thing was a fucking nightmare of Excel sheets. The daily process was an ordeal of copying, pasting, and dragging down formulas instead of having some very simple software do the job automatically.
The biggest frustration was that the sizes of packaging had been changed frequently and never updated in the system. So, one pallet of 600 windshield wipers could be 72″ double stack, but it was changed at some point to 36″ single stack, and you have both of them sitting in the warehouse in some unknown number. As a result, the people at the warehouse would try to load the trailers with the parts I had specified, and they’d call me telling me that it’s not going to fit because some pallet or another is much larger than my computer is telling me.
I could live with that, but what I can’t live with is that the management was acting like these discrepancies were my fault, yet nobody was able to explain to me how to actually get the correct dimensions of each pallet other than calling the warehouse and asking them to measure every single one, which was unworkable for both myself and the warehouse staff. I was talking to a manager once and asked him, “There are discrepancies in the WMS with the pallet dimensions, I have no control over what’s in the WMS, but I have to rely on it to do my job correctly. Why are these things being blamed on me if I’m being given incorrect data and have no control over it?” He tried to dodge the question, but the answer I basically got was “you just have to know”.
“Just cleaning up some data over here.”
–climate scientist
Oh, and I am NOT working today Rufus thank-you-very-much; stretching the 3 day weekend into 6. Catch up with you all on Mon.
Time to get drunk.
Hrmm… not for me I’m afraid.
I am at work. And saturday I have to start driving a few thousand miles. So I’m going to be sober for a few weeks.
That’s no way to live.
Dying in a DUI is no way to live either.
100% true..
At no point did I suggest combining those activities.
Although it is one reason we’ve been staying at all inclusive resorts recently. Zero driving worries for a more relaxing vacation.
Last year we stayed here: http://www.nemacolin.com
It was very nice and I would definitely recommend it to anyone. Be sure to do the off road Jeep driving and visit the cigar bar for drinking fine scotch.
Are you going to be driving non-stop for a few weeks?
Close enough. If I’ve been drinking on a given day or the day before, I don’t want to even go outside. And the whole point of all this driving is to see the places I’m going.
Ahh, gotcha. Well, have fun. I get a little jealous when you talk about your trips. They always sound cool.
UCS had a drink once, but he didn’t like it much.
I have worked 5 hours this week, and I’m sick of doing housework. I’m Bored
Klytus, I’m bored. What plaything can you offer me today?
Plaything.
http://i.pinimg.com/736x/77/78/f1/7778f17b21146d0754ca937616e20453.jpg
The brand name of that refrigerator in the background really kills the mood.
Did I mention the Work I did was at a Filipino Restaurant?
Lots of tasties like^Her^!
Hellz, yeah.
Will you come by place and set my lawnmower on fire for me.
That would help me with the decision of whether or not to fix it for the hundredth time or go get something else.
I purposefully left my old lawnmower outside for an entire Michigan winter hoping to kill it and a get a new one. Fucker started right up.
DEMON MOWER!!!!
Lawnmowers make great targets.
I don’t like it when you people preempt me.
At all.
STOP IT.
I guess that means you need to WORK HARDER!
Nice:)
“A prayer to Our Lady of the Turkey Neck”
I’ve always thought it was more like a vulva in need of cosmetic surgery.
“Clots did flow sluggishly from cloven stone.”
That’s visceral, right there. Visceral.
If’n by that y’all mean “it done made me commence to pukin'”…right!
Somewhat related: this morning CNN had the headline “Trump repeats without evidence claim that there was a spy withing campaign.”
Zero self-awareness.
“Trump repeats without evidence* claim that there was a spy within campaign.
*actually there’s lots of evidence but you won’t hear about it from us!”
FIFT. This is CNN.
Out: Trump’s ludicrous claim of being wiretapped, LOL!
In: Well, yes, he was being spied on, but it’s not like they had a mole in his campaign.
This is an apple.
Factcheck: What is this, the 80s? Nobody taps physical phone lines anymore.
Factcheck: He wasn’t a spy, he was an informant. If they were the same, it wouldn’t be two different words.
Verdict: We’re totes right. Trump is a liar.
Out: FUCKING BERNIE BROS ARE SPREADING LIES ABOUT THE PRIMARY BEING RIGGED!
In: Well, yes, the DNC rigged it in favor of Hillary, but Bernie says vote for her anyway.
Das ist ein Apfel.
Mostly False!
Not only that, but I’m pretty sure it was cable news who “broke” the story about a spy being inside the campaign.
Most excellent.
I am officially waving the Heroic Mulatto flag!
I haven’t seen him around–if someone does then please direct him to this post:
I need to get out of Korea methinks and I have no desire to move back to America. I’m going to go to Chiang Mai in September I think (80% sure). I’ve been to Bangkok and Phuket and have been to all the SE Asian countries other than Myanmar.
I’m starting my research project ahead of time but I want to know your experience with the city. I’m going to try to do online teaching and editing/proofreading to make money in a currency that is stronger than Baht. I know I can get an office and an apartment for super cheap. I think this is what I want to do. Still have 6 months on my current contract.
Any info on living/working in Thailand (esp. Chiang Mai) would be greatly appreciated, from HM or anyone else who knows.
Thanks!
How’s your build? Would you say “pixieish”? I have a line on a career working with American tourists. OMWC can fill you in.
I typed out a whole response to this. In sincerity. Then I saw what you dun there been dun doin’.
*Narrows gaze*
Ah, fuck it– I’m still interested.
I dunno, I think American tourists would be looking for something a bit more… exotic than Evan. They could just stay home for that.
“Any info on living/working in Thailand”
Make sure you don’t blog any shit about the Kang.
How are your chess skills?
….I….do not follow.
Shitty, how-about-that?
You’re in for a real rough night, then.
Commodious is just showing his love of showtunes.
The queens we use would not excite you.
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
God dammit, I’ve been had again!
It’s 2am here! Stop picking on me!
^^Both lines contained the same amount of characters! I find that oddly pleasing!
“It’s 2am here! Stop picking on me!”
You arrived at the wrong site if you think there’s any hope of that.
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!
DOES EVAN OF YOU EVEN SLEEP?!
*frantic and wild applause*
If you’ve only heard it as a radio song and never seen the music video
https://youtu.be/rgc_LRjlbTU
It still amazes me that was part of an entire musical. I have so many questions; the answer to most of them is probably “cocaine”.
“I have no desire to move back to America”
Curious why not.
I can sort of see how living in Indiana could make someone not want to come back. But it can’t be that. It must be yellow fever, right?
He likes being the tallest guy in the room?
He could have went to Guatemala where he’d likely be a giant. Swear I’ve never seen a Guatemalan over 4ft tall.
My FIL is Guatemalan. I’d guess he is 5’6”, but he’s probably an outlier.
Straffin and I commented on this earlier. I don’t think it’s possible to know how absolutely bugfuck American looks right now from the outside. I know that we Glibs see it, but I can’t imagine living *in* it, right now. Everything is insane, and having lived for 8+ years in Asia/Singapore the idea of moving back is…daunting.
1. I moved to Asia when I was 22 (turned 31 at the end of April) six months after graduation. I don’t understand (sorry to use this term) How To Adult in America. I can negotiate my way around Korea just fine, but there’s a lot of things in the States that are just oddly foreign to me.
2. I live 5 a minute walk away from work. I don’t need a car nor insurance. I have health insurance (which with my hips is something I absolutely need, and the prices I’d pay in the US would and should be very, very high). Rent and utilities are insanely cheap. My taxes are insanely low. 6%. I absolutely get my money’s worth. The conversion rate is almost exactly 1:1.
3. I get to travel all over. I’ve been to 36 states and my travels here are much more exciting to me. I’ve been to 6 continents, lived on 3, and am up to 36 countries total.
4. I work to live rather than the other way around. My job is insanely easy, as I’ve learned a bunch of tricks over time and I’m a natural performer. You are a valuable employee here if you keep the kids happy. (Honestly, I would probably be best-suited to be a children’s TV show host. I love teaching serious things, but especially when it comes to younger kids, just being entertaining so they pay attention and focused is paramount.) I have a market and a 24/7 convenience store within a minute’s walk from my apartment. Supermarket is 5 minutes away.
5. I get to be a part of a very strong musical community and have been able to jam and perform and record in many bands.
6. I get to work second-shift and stay up all night (I don’t know how long it would take me to get re-adjusted to a “normal” work schedule.) I get ignored by everyone and don’t really have to follow the social rules here because I’m a foreigner.
The only thing that I really regret and miss about the US is missing the childhood of my two nephews. I know that I’ll never get that back. We talk but I’ll have to shoulder that burden.
By abandoning my hemisphere, language, family, heritage, food (to some extent), friends, and more, I have found a very cushy lifestyle that is very comfortable as long as one learns how to deal with the downsides of it. *After* rent and taxes and bills and phone I pull about $2k a month.
I…yeah. I can’t imagine moving back permanently.
Are you stuck on living in Asia? What about South America?
The secret reservoir of white people? He would lose his foreigner pass for faux pas.
I’m not stuck, no. My best friend is back in Toronto, but he got a professorship in Colombia for about 3 years. I visited him there.
A gram of coke was $7. That alone would be dangerous for me, as I dedicated 2 years of my life to it.
There were just so many places that were physically scary. Asia is very safe. I do have to consider this when it comes to my hips; I don’t know how long they will last and any threat of violence is something I really have to avoid.
I’m still doing research as to where I want to go. Korea really is the apex of money: standard of living at the moment. Japan is too expensive. I refuse to even visit, let alone live in China. Europe is too hard to get into for work.
The money in SE Asia isn’t good for saving but you can live so well. That’s why I want to digital nomad and earn USD by doing online projects from abroad.
I’ve lived in Germany (university semester) Korea and Singapore. If you or anyone have ideas of other opportunities I would happily hear them out. I’m pretty well fed-up with my gig right now. Need a change.
Just met a woman though, so if things get serious I guess that could change my plans. Certainly won’t be staying at this job at the end of my contract in December.
My recommendation was going to be Chile. Spent significant time both there and in Argentina during grad school. I really, really liked Argentina, but it is an economic basketcase and Chile is a lot more stable. I don’t think I’d venture anywhere else in SA than those two countries plus Uruguay; too dysfunctional/dangerous.
What about Eastern Europe/ex-Soviet Bloc? Is that hard to get a job? After spending a bit of time in Poland and the Baltic States I’d live there for the women alone.
Also: Australia?
Australia: high taxes, expensive to live in most places, long flights to get anywhere else (except NZ). I mean, I love Australia, but I wouldn’t recommend it to someone looking at things the way EfE is.
I’ll look into it. Thanks for the advice. That would also force me to learn some Spanish which is something I’ve realized I need to be able to do.
I have contacts in Kazakhstan and have visited. I loved the trip but I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t want to live there.
Czech is the farthest into Eastern Europe that I’ve been to, but I was literally penniless and sleeping under bridges and stealing bread from markets for 2 days before my friend came and helped me out. (That now is one of my favorite stories.)
Australia is hard to get into for work, I’ve heard. Expensive. Also, I do like the idea of not living in an English-speaking country. Again: baaaad social anxiety.
As far as South America goes, I’d definitely recommend Chili. I personally would not go there because of my phobia of earthquakes. I can survive tornadoes and hurricanes, but there’s something about the ground moving under me that I can’t deal with. Uruguay is a good, maybe better 2nd choice. Not much crime, mostly rural. It’s windy in most of the country though and I hate wind. Brazil would be best for me because of the language and because I know people there, but no on that one also, cannot recommend, too much corruption and economic woes right now, also not really that safe in most places. And as you said, Argentina is on the brink of an economic collapse.
What about Panama or Costa Rica? Panama has lots of American ex-pats and the dollar is currency. Neither of those places is cheap though.
I’d probably go with Uruguay.
As far as finding a place that has less first world problems than the US, pretty much anywhere that is not Europe.
Another big thing for me is that I’ve been a teacher my whole adult life. I absolutely refuse to do that in America.
I can’t go back and on-paper have a marketable skill other than that. I just don’t know the employment situation back “home.”
So I spend many nights freaking out about what I can prove that I can do during an interview in whatever gig that comes up. I’m well-spoken and can be a bit sociopathically charming, but my resume just shows that I’m a teacher that has been continuously employed since I was 14, taught for 8 years, been nomadic and worked at a zoo for a summer. Major in psych and minors in German and animal behavior.
I have no idea what I’d do. That’s why I wanna freelance edit/proofread and teach online. I should write more, as well.
Speaking of – you didn’t answer my last e-mail. (It was a few months ago)
A few months ago as in Feb 8.
I should have followed up sooner.
SORRY!
Yeah, that was my bad. I got really nervous about it. Was a very weird time for me.
I am absolutely into it. I don’t know if you’ve been retouching/rewriting your work.
I would absolutely love to get in on that. Anytime you want to send me something I’d love to see if we can figure something out.
Teaching would be a tough gig in the US except for at a private, parochial school. I went through a crisis when changing my career and went through a brief, ill-conceived period of considering teaching high school physics. Public school teaching is an absolute shitshow right now and will be for the foreseeable future. Teaching at a private school, however, can be relatively lucrative without all the pitfalls of SJW, union controlled horseshit. I’m pretty sure your unconventional experience and travel would actually be an asset. That’s only if you decide to come back though, which it sounds like you’re deadset against.
If you do want to move back to the US, first thing that came to my mind is corporate trainer.
That particular story has not been retouched since completion of the first draft. Short stories go into a stack of “work to be antholigized” until there’s enough content for a volume. So it’s in the same state as before.
I’ll send a copy when I get home (I don’t have it at work)
“I don’t understand (sorry to use this term) How To Adult in America.”
It’s easy, you just shit yourself over every tweet Trump makes and signal to your woke friends about how woke you are. That about sums it up.
…yeah.
It looks extra super-duper fucking insane from abroad. I don’t really recognize America anymore.
Sad!
In all honesty, it depends on where you are and who you associate with. Things around my way are as they have always been.
Oh, I left out the requisite, just randomly call people you disagree with, racist and Nazi. Now you have everything you need to come back.
I have Korean friends. They go back to visit occasionally but do not want to go back to stay. I didn’t really ask them why, but they’re very serious about wanting to be here instead of Korea. I have thoroughly warned them about the possibility of any of their American neighbors being completely bat shit crazy.
SHUT UP NAZI
It looks insane because the “Everything on the ground continues as it always has” stories don’t get much traffic.
If anything, driving around the country has taught me a very simple lession – the facts on the ground are very different from the facts on the internet.
^ This ^
I live in maybe the proggiest part of deep blue Mass and… it’s not that bad, unless you go looking for it. Mostly people just live their lives, but that’s not newsworthy. There’s plenty of social signalling around, but you don’t have to let it have any impact.
“Mostly people just live their lives, but that’s not newsworthy. There’s plenty of social signalling around, but you don’t have to let it have any impact.”
Yep. I know plenty of people like that. They’ll signal their wokeness, but outside of that, they’re just normal people going about their lives. They’re not going to stop everything and to some parade wearing a pussy hat.
America is not the Internet or Facebook or Twitter.
I have had few encounters with extreme left or right idiots in real life here in Iowa.
Unfortunately, the just-plain-stupid are everywhere.
Also very important to note: I ironically have some fairly crippling social anxiety, and living in a place where I’m not expected to know the language or what’s going on, and be able to tune out of everything as long as I do my job, is incredibly appealing. That I can get simple shit done in Korean means that I only have to talk to people when I absolutely need to achieve something.
Every time I go back to America the level of social interaction that I have to engage in is just so exhausting. Here I just get to be White Boy and can go several days without having to really do anything in that realm.
Every time I go back to America the level of social interaction that I have to engage in is just so exhausting. Here I just get to be White Boy and can go several days without having to really do anything in that realm.
Not really sure that’s an “American” thing but more how you choose to spend your time when you’re here. I work from home while living on 30 acres in the middle of nowhere. If it wasn’t for my wife and kids, I could go weeks without any level of social interaction greater than going to the grocery store.
I’m like that to some extent, but I can fake my way past it well enough. Also, being in IT, people just expect you to not a social butterfly, so that helps. I don’t really talk to any of my neighbors. To be honest, it’s not so much social anxiety for me, it’s just that I truly do not like people, not most of them anyway, they’re dimwitted assholes who I have nothing to talk about with. Oddly, the person I talk to most here outside of my wife, is Korean.
6. I get to work second-shift and stay up all night (I don’t know how long it would take me to get re-adjusted to a “normal” work schedule.)
I worked graves and offshifts for 20+ years and was always a night owl before that. Took me a couple of weeks at most and that was it. It was actually easier because I no longer needed to flip flop to do things with the family & such.
Also, don’t worry so much about not knowing how to be an adult.
Any info on living/working in Thailand (esp. Chiang Mai) would be greatly appreciated, from HM or anyone else who knows.
ls this helpful?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoDAIRh7i5Y
No, because I’ve been tricked….several times.
It’s odd when you find out that one of the hottest “girls” you’ve ever slept with is actually a Lady Boy.
I… Might be able to elaborate on this story later, as I’m not really embarrassed by it. I found out right before when they were in my hostel…..and GOD DAMMIT IT WAS TOO LATE TO STOP THEN.
THE MISSION WAS TOO FAR ADVANCED TO STOP AND I THE ABORT CODE WASN’T WORKING.
“It’s odd when you find out that one of the hottest “girls” you’ve ever slept with is actually a Lady Boy.”
I’m not exactly sure how you miss that during the sleeping part. But I do know that drinking heavily is very popular in Korea.
(This is in Thailand/Bali) You find out after you pull a smoking-hot girl back to your place and you become amorous. There wasn’t even an expectation of being paid.
You try to take their panties off and they pull a face and tell you why you can’t. But they’re fucking Q Continuum levels of hot and it doesn’t really matter anymore.
“Eh, fuck it,” is the thought process. Then you fuck…it. Not concerned. Fun was had.
I see a future SF story brewing.
Reminds me of listening to Democracy NOW!!!!!!
Sorry, but the Russians have hacked our Democracy and Trump won’t let us take it back.
All power to the soviets!!
What kind of 7.62 are you using for plinking?
7.62×51 through a 1919A4 and 7.62×39 through an RPD. Both suitably neutered for government approval ;(
“Both suitably neutered for government approval”
Like progressive men.
I built them myself and it would have been so much easier to make them as their original designers intended.
BTW, I designed and built some of the original AK riveting tools and still have a bunch of parts if you’re interested.
I appreciate that. I’m not really to that point yet, but if I get there, I’ll drop a line.
Neat.
What part of….
IT. WAS…..
HER TURN!!!!!!!!!!
….don’t you reprobates get?
She was the most qualified candidate in the history of the country. Even more than TJ, JM, GW, JA, and all the other founders! They would have agreed!
She came, she saw, people died. When people went low she went high. She taught people that.
I mean seriously.
I will be with her forevermore!
Rufus is a foreign national attempting to influence the outcome of the next election!
It’s okay, Canadians are wayward Americans who lost their way. One day they’ll come to their senses, forsake their gravy fries and toques, and embrace gun ownership and hating the French.
CANADIAN COLLUSION!!!!
Seeing as how easy it was for super Putin to hack America’s democracy and install a puppet, just imagine how easy it would be for him to hack Canada and just control it’s citizens by laser mind beams from the hollow moon. That’s probably what you’re seeing here, Rufus is just another Putin puppet trying to convince us that he’s a Hillary fan all the while being a Trumputin drone.
The we came, we saw, he died with the laugh just cemented my antipathy towards her and her fans.
I can understand why you don’t like Trump and OK you are a liberal, so you’d rather have her as president, but I will never understand her ardent supporters.
The “you” was not directed towards anyone, it was a general “you”.
Too late. I’m triggered.
Maybe it was for you then
Thing is, not only is she now not POTUS, but she’s shriveling up and dying from the lack of a constant supply of the blood of Syrian children.
VAGINA POWER!
Beware the Muppet-Canadian diaspora.
Deadlier and more effective that the deep state?
I was reminded yesterday afternoon of a previous conversation here at Glibs, when I was just trying to buy some spring rolls at one of the local markets. There was this dude in front of me who just literally screamed millennial hipster douchebag before he even opened his mouth. I can’t remember the article, but some here were going on about vocal fry. To be honest I didn’t much know what that is, so I had to google it. But this dude at the market, he started talking. And he didn’t go into this vocal fry thing, it was constant. Seriously, I wanted to knock that little dude the fuck out just to make him stop talking. I feel sorry as hell for anyone who has to be around that more than a second.
Vocal fry on a guy is somehow 100 times more annoying.
I can’t even imagine how someone’s voice could be more annoying than that. He must have practiced really hard to sound like such a douche.
I just Googled that because I’ve never heard of it before.
Good god. People really talk like that? That’s awful.
Wait until you actually experience it. You could just hang out around any hipster douchebag attraction, like Starbucks and you’re sure to experience it sooner or later.
Unpopular Opinion Time:
I….like vocal fry. It’s got a sultry feeling to it. It shouldn’t always be used but it can certainly spice up a sentence when used in the correct manner.
100% confident that people only don’t like it because of the people (e.g. Kim Kardashian) that are most famous for it say stupid, vapid things that would be painful to listen to even in William F. Buckley’s voice.
Finish your/my point on a charismatic and well-crafted sentence with some fry and….it’s hot as shit.
Disclaimer: The way that Korean women (and men) speak is the most whiny fucking shit I have ever heard in my life. It’s actually quite sickening. They sound like fucking 5-year-olds whining that they can’t get ice cream.
I could see it. It’s a very feminine vocal mannerism, and I’m sort of a traditionalist when it comes to taste in females. I don’t like anything that is traditionally masculine – tattoos and piercings are a turn-off… Just my personal tastes.
That’s not an unpopular opinion. A woman that commands language very frugally and can deliver it with a gravely voice equals instant hard-on.
Vocal fry in a woman tells me that she’s insecure and desperately wants to be taken seriously. Vocal fry in a man tells me that he’s trying to let people know he’s at least kind of interested in sex with other men.
For whatever reason, vocal fry and the “California accent” are inextricably intertwined in my mind. They may be distinct, I don’t know. Either way, it is insufferable; male or female. You could be reciting a Grand Unification Theory and you’d still sound like a vapid, ignorant, doosh.
NPR, vocal fry extravaganza with the occasional uptalk
*has stroke from extreme triggering*
Gay male speech with lisp and vocal fry enrages me.
It is raining raining raining this morning. Soon a Great Flood will come and wash away the sinners and infidels in the lowlands, as I sit impassively watching from my mountain lair.
Or not.
NFL bans kneeling
Huh, I am shocked, shocked I tell you! You let the left in, they were destroying your business, so you have to resort to this. It’s probably too late.
I say let them kneel. But if you do, don’t be surprised if nobody signs you.
I was never more than a casual fan anyway so I didn’t need much of an excuse to quit watching. Too little too late IMO.
Seriously, I wanted to knock that little dude the fuck out just to make him stop talking.
I was someplace recently when the hipster douchebag ahead of me at the cashier was yammering on his phone instead of giving the woman his money and getting the fuck out of my way. I was sorely tempted to slap the phone out of his hand.
8/10 Glibertarians agree that would not violate the NAP.
I love the people who are in line in front me who can’t get the self checkout done because they’re holding one shreeking kid in one arm, cell phone in the other hand, with three more shreeking kids in the cart, and another on the conveyor belt. People should have to take a mandatory IQ test before they are allowed in the self checkout lines. One of the store employees finally came over and told her to get the kid off the conveyor belt and helped her checkout before the line backed up any more.
Our local grocery store just changed their self-checkout from the conveyor-belt style to the Target-style, which effectively doubled their capacity and dramatically reduced the line. It also means that when the grossly incompetent and shockingly inconsiderate congregate moth-like to the flame that is the self-checkout area, they don’t cause quite the bottleneck they used to do. Which is great, because I don’t want to go to prison for capital murder because some “registered Democrat”* is trying to scan a radish.
*This is a term I use to refer to oblivious yuppies in my area; if you park your Prius with a NPR sticker in such a way as to block someone in while you “just run in really fast to pick something up”, you’re a registered Democrat. If you have calculated your carbon footprint but let the door slam in the face of the person behind you, you’re a registered Democrat. If your approach to most things in life is to kind of just do what you feel like doing and not just hope it works out but expect other people to accommodate your fuck-ups, you’re a registered Democrat. It’s a combination of arrogance, stupidity, and carelessness, but with a left-liberal paint job.
It’s ok for them to do those things because their politics show they CARE.
Unlike you, you whiteprivilegecisheteroracistislamonazihomophobehatecriminalwhowantsminoritychildrentobegroundupintodogfood.
I find it goes hand-in-hand with the Progressive outlook, although I’m not sure which comes first. It’s the whole “caring” about things on a global, theoretical scale and not giving a flying rat’s ass about actual people or phenomena around you. So you care deeply about “the working class” or “poverty” but are a snob and don’t like being around poor people. It’s Al Gore flying back and forth in a private jet between showings of “An Inconvenient Truth”. It’s Sean Penn talking about socialism. It’s Warren Buffet complaining that rich people don’t pay enough in taxes.
Democrats love humanity but hate humans.
Republicans hate humanity but love humans.
Libertarians are too autistic to have any experience with either.
Progressive love things in the abstract, but then hate those same things when exposed to them in reality.
“because some “registered Democrat”* is trying to scan a radish.”
Yeah, this is the reason I keep my trips to Wholefoods at a minimum. The amount of dumb hipster douchebags in there who are going to go out of their way to make you see how woke they are, is just nearly unbearable. I love the ones who obviously have not taken a bath or shower in a year, and you know it because you can smell their foulness from 20 ft away, who will not use plastic bags for their produce and they just have it lying in their cart. When they get to checkout, they make sure to pick it up one at a time, very slowly, and put it on the conveyor belt. Using water to bathe or plastic bags for produce is obviously too great a threat to Gaia.
I’ll never forget the ‘woke’ dyke who served me an espresso in Vermont a few years back. Her attitude exuded ‘you don’t deserve an espresso served by me’. All I asked was what company made the roast and considered buying it and she could not resist one of those ‘sigh’ type of responses without looking you in the eye. We had a nice laugh over that.
Another time in Vermont I got a ‘what you don’t know what that is?’ retort from a hipster-douche and I reminded the little shit he misunderstood the question.
They take their pride in food a tad too seriously.
All I know is that Starbucks must work very, very hard to find the amount of androgynous looking people who work in our local one. My wife used to go in there to get their green tea frappacino before she got tired of them. It was sort of a running joke between us about how we could figure out if one of the ‘Pats’ was a boy or a girl.
I assumed they just flocked to Starbucks because the company is so woke.
My sister gave me a Starbucks gift card for Christmas only because she moved to Minnesoda and they don’t have any Dunkin’ Donuts there. I still haven’t gotten around to using it. I’d only by pound bags of coffee because I’m too fucking cheap to buy cups of coffee.
Yeah, this is the reason I keep my trips to Wholefoods at a minimum.
The nearest Whole Foods to me is right next to a yoga studio, so I don’t make any particular effort to avoid it.
I think we could have a lot of fun by turning that into Jeff Foxworthy-style jokes…
“If you ___________________________________ , you might be a registered Democrat.”
Hate yourself because of your skin color?
Prefer feel good but ineffective solutions to complicated problems.
This is fucking spot on. I work for a company that is heavily invested in the trendy SJW corporate image, and the place is lousy with them. One of the principals here is an aging hippy boomer fuckwit that actually wears patchouli and is one of the most generally inconsiderate and oblivious people I’ve ever met,
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been cut off by people driving Suburbans with Bush stickers plenty of times, back when that was relevant, but I find that’s a different flavor of dickish. I just find that those types are more upfront about it. Like they’re pretty much just going to tell you, “I’m big time, I own a yacht, I don’t follow little people rules.”
The asshole Republicans that I’ve met tend to own it – “fuck those people, they suck and I want them out” or whatever. The asshole Democrats I’ve met will insist that they love all people while simultaneously demonstrating that they are shitty to their local community while also saying “omg, I hate people.”
They’re not even waiting to take back that stolen tax scam money!
GO DEMS GO, GO DEMS!
He’s probably more serious about that then the Repubs were about repealing Obama Care.
The GOP would have repealed Obamacare if not for the 2 dem women and the dem guy, McCain among their ranks. The 2 blue ladies need primaried. Remember they only have a 2 seat advantage in the Senate. Maybe if the GOP picks up Senate seats, McCain can’t vote and they keep the house, it’s still possible to get that done.
Maybe, but at this point I’ll believe it when I see it.
I, for one, hate seeing that extra money in my paycheck and wish this fine fellow Godspeed.
Such a staunch “libertarian Democrat”. Honestly, I hope TOS never lives that shit down.
If this guy gets his way, all of those bad decisions millennials made to get shitty worthless degrees, will be wiped away and handed over to we tax payers. What’s not to like? Who doesn’t want people to keep getting worthless degrees that tax payers pay for?
“If this guy gets his way, all of those bad decisions millennials made to get shitty worthless degrees, will be wiped away and handed over to we tax payers.”
Collectivism in a nutshell, and why it appeals more and more to the younger and more dysfunctional (I blame the parents BTW) generations. When you are a snowflake that wants to pretend to be independent but in general are a failure, knowing someone else will foot the bill for your mistakes is very appealing.
I’m some of the deplorables out there will put up a fight. But they’re just too stupid to realize that paying higher taxes so that young people can pay off their student loans is good for society*.
*Society = people who vote Democrat.
I was handed a petition during college that stated that all student debt should be wiped away. I refused to sign it and told the clipboard man that my debt is my burden alone and I knew what I was getting into. He was totally floored, he simply couldn’t comprehend the idea of personal responsibility and long-term thinking.
That’s the angle I’ve gotten from Democrats who are trying to convince me to vote their way. All they give me is a list of freebies I would get from the gub’mint, and they just don’t comprehend it when I say that I don’t want free shit, I want a free market where I’m allowed to market my skills in whatever way I choose. Then the break out the “voting against your own interests” line.
Uh, it’s not in my interests to have the economy kneecapped by idiotic socialist policies even if said policies might give me some more money in the short term (which they don’t… Case in point: being forced to purchase a $135/mo health insurance policy that I didn’t need or want).
I absolutely hate the “voting against your own interests” bullshit they trot out. One of my more centrist-but-left-leaning friends brought this up when we were discussing rural areas voting Republican. He was saying “proportionally, these areas benefit more from Medicare and social security on a per-capita basis than democrat areas do. These rural Republicans are voting against their own interests!”
I have the philosophy that I don’t want things that I haven’t earned. I think many libertarians share that. People who don’t have that perspective can rarely understand it in others. I can understand when other people have a “gimme dat!” mentality, but those people could never understand me. That’s the fundamental disconnect.
It’s because they think that there are some things that are very important that nevertheless nobody will willingly pay for. They see making sure that there are people who are versed in things like Gender Studies or Interpretive Jazz Dance or whatever as a “tragedy of the commons” issue.
Fuck this guy. He’ll probably be my next governor.
The most interesting part in the article was this nugget at the end:
That would be an interesting showdown.
But they have gun control!
Masked gunmen with Kalashnikovs open fire on a group of youngsters in Marseille leading to shoot-out with French police
I guess Allah did’t will accurate shooting today.
GUNS DON’T EXIST IN FRANCE. They’re not allowed! There’s laws and everything! Even if someone wanted to shoot someone else, there’s no way they could! THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO!
They smuggled them in from Indiana.
Unpossable! There are no guns in France!
Ugh, no, gun-nuts, France’s reasonable common-sense gun laws prevent even more gun violence. Without those laws, masked gunmen would be killing infidels with Kalashnikovs every day. Wait. I mean, no, they wouldn’t, because there isn’t a problem with violence in the immigrant community, so it would be regular ol’ French people doing the killing…and…um…that isn’t happening now because of…OH YEAH, PRIVILEGE!
Whatever it is, it’s (((their))) fault.
You see, those were not American guns. EVUL American guns. If they would have been, no matter how bad the shooting was, those American guns would have just taken over and killed like 50 hundred people! Probably at an orphanage.
So not a mass shooting, then.
Nothing to see here folks, move along. Move along.
He shot a mass of bullets and missed. A “Mass Missing”?
Anyone who has trained with Muslim troops int he Middle East knows that aiming isn’t for the cool kids.
Is this why they lose pitched battles against any decent army?
Partly. But mostly it’s a problem with command and control. Meaning they don’t have it. And they don’t trust Non coms to lead troops.
https://www.meforum.org/articles/other/why-arabs-lose-wars
Inshallah (if God wills it) runs deep in their psyche.
If God wills it, the truck will run, the gun will function, and the bullets will kill infidels. So fuck off kaffir with all your preventative maintenance, aiming over sights bullshit.
I remember a gunny who had been in Somalia in 1993 and how he said that they got to the point that they barely even reacted to Somalis shooting at them because they never hit anything.
Well it definitely wasn’t a center mass shooting or else he would have been more than slightly injured
WE ARE NOT WORTHY
Maybe if the GOP picks up Senate seats
I’ve got my fingers crossed in hopes somebody knocks that fat fuck Tester off his perch, but he’s pushing his “I halp teh farmers and veterinz! I brungz yas checks!” schtick really really hard.
If the GOP picks up more senate seats, they will lose the vote to repeal Obamacare by just a few votes again, thus giving them reason to be for just a few more GOP senators, so we can finally get rid of it. Repeat until voters wise up. Obamacare repeal is the carrot the GOP keeps dangling off its stick. I don’t think it will ever happen.
“Repeat until voters wise up.”
I LOL’ed.
Taking a page from the abortion issue.
Montanans do love them some checks. And incumbents.
NFL bans kneeling
And tackling?
Have they banned collusion and blackballing, yet? Those owners would never let a niggling little detail like “ability to win games” outweigh sanctimonious political signalling.
You’re joking, but they eventually will ban tackling. Because they’re going to let women play.
Let? You misspelled require.
The only reason why girls aren’t as good as boys is because we don’t let them play with boys. So compel them to play with the best and they will become the best too!
/pets unicorn in satisfying manner.
Can’t wait for the lawsuits as some misogynist grabs some chick by the chestesses.
We already have a female league.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_V7vCarIzn2A/TTkVk813e6I/AAAAAAAAAEQ/ysFCh02W6aU/s1600/lingerie+football+league.jpg
Let them play!
Because they’re going to let women play.
And vindicate Jack “Put dresses on ’em” Lambert.
Huh. Not what I expected to see
Hmm, what am I looking at?
Made in Vietnam?
Is that the unexpected part?
I tell you what I didn’t expect to see. These two pictures w/ funny stories in the sidebar:
This is a cock ring….
This is NOT a cock ring, but same result…
They are SFW
Hah, I absolutely clicked on both of those earlier. That second one – that could not have been that big of an opening when it was in one piece…
Right? That appeared to be a relatively small wrench.
Funny comment below it:
OT: Sayonara Sweden.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnqG9XAoseU
Are Sweden, Germany, France, and Britain in a race to see who can commit suicide the quickest?
It is an interesting experiment because each is using a different strategy to get there.
England has a much higher birth rate than the others and as a result has not imported immigrants in as large a quantity and does a better job of integrating the immigrants than the others but is trying to become a panopticon police state
France imports large numbers of immigrants but then locks them in ghettos and actively works to prevent them from ever integrating into French Culture andactively passing laws to antagonize said immigrants. Simultaneously they are giving their dwindling native workforce ever more plush working conditions creating serious levels of hatred between the two groups.
Germany recognizes the problem they have with an aging population and is trying to fix it by importing huge numbers of immigrants but seems oblivious to the fact that the immigrants they import are not Germans and have VERY different work ethics and cultural morals and are therefore wholly unsuited to meeting her workforce needs and because they don’t recognize that problem they don’t really do anything to integrate the immigrants into German Culture.
Sweden is similarly importing mass quantities of immigrants but isn’t even doing it to make up for a shortfall of workers but rather just so they can posture about being more moral than thou with the other EU countries and as a result acts willfully ignorant to the culture clash they are creating.
My guess is Sweden an France go first and England lasts the longest with an outside chance that they go the whole V for Vendetta Fascist state route at some point and kick all the immigrants out
Then there’s Japan – aging population, not enough kids being produced but not so interested in importing a bunch of gaijin, so all-in on robots.
Nice summary.
Montanans do love them some checks. And incumbents.
I remember when Tester was running against Baucus. People had themselves all tied in knots over whether it was better to keep evil old Baucus and his seniority gravy train, or do what felt right, and vote for Tester. Political Whirling Disease, I calls it.
“None of the above” has a definite appeal.
Rangers name Dave Quinn as new head coach.
*Wikipedias Quinn* Hmm, might be OK.
Can’t be worse than Vigneault
I don’t care who their coach is as long as they keep failing.
Amen, brother! (and sister! and other!)
/pets unicorn in satisfying manner.
I wish some nice young female somebody would come pet my unicorn.
*Young is relative. Somebody younger than me, so, a well-preserved woman in her mid-to-late fifties would not necessarily be unacceptable. Yes, I am a cishetero shit
lordhead.So, why do they play the anthem at sporting events, again? What an utterly silly controversy on all sides.
Why do you hate America?
Actually I’m not sure either. I think the tradition started in WWI as a show of patriotism. It just grew from there into a tradition.
Looking it up….yep, WWI. Another crappy legacy of that pointless disaster of a war.
I’m a patriotic guy, probably more so than most Glibs. Quite a bit of red-white-and-blue Americana decorating our house, fly the flag on the front steps, etc. Have a visceral dislike to the kneeling, particularly when the ringleader is a Castro-embracing sack of shit like Kaepernick. On the other hand, the idea of forcing anyone to behave in any way over a song is equally offensive to me, and it just makes me wonder what exactly is the point of playing it at all? Are they going to start playing it in theaters before every movie, too? That actually was the way it was done at on-base theaters in the military (I think they got rid of all those theaters, though). We had to pop out of our seats and stand at attention before the movie played, and I always thought it was so silly.
Except the US did not have a national anthemn until the 1930s. Playing it at baseball games probably helped make it the national anthem in the first place!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Star-Spangled_Banner#National_anthem
Well I’ll be. Didn’t know that.
If they don’t, I forget what country I’m in.
I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s relevant. When the NFL let the lefties and SJWs in, it was just a matter of time before they started finding ways to destroy the NFL. Once they’re finished that job, they’ll move no to other sports and do the same.
Yeah, the NFL is trying to get them to take off the skinsuit but it’s too late.
One would have thought those half empty stadiums would have been a clue, a wake up call, but once someone gets infected by the lefty virus, it seems they lose all sense of reality. Now that half the fans have given up their season tickets, now they go into panic mode and do this. Not smart.
Whatever happened to secret Nazi president?
Becky and Cortez had their press credentials revoked.
Excellent euphemism.
Oh yes, Pecky, I miss Pecky, and titties, mmm titties, show em to us.
IIRC BP said life was going to have to get in the way of Nazi Pres for a while.
Yes. Lost his mom to cancer, I believe.
The Sweden immigration videos on YouTube led me down a rabbit hole which culminated in seeing my first PewDiePie video. Comments:
1. Why does this guy have so many subscribers?
2. He seems thoroughly harmless, how in the fuck did he get labeled an alt-right Nazi?
3. His fiancée is really hot.
2. He didn’t signal the correct way.
Video games have replaced athletics in a large portion of the youth, to the point where kids will watch other people play video games (even single player games). I can understand watching a professional level deathmatch or MOBA game (even if I don’t watch them), but I can’t understand watching someone else play through a game instead of just playing it myself (excepting walkthroughs and the like). From my understanding, PewDiePie is entertaining to these youths.
The most popular you-tubers who play video games for others to watch also provide commentary and/or comedy along with it. Watching their shows is the equivalent of watching/listening to those sports discussion shows – the game (or sport in the analogy) is often not the primary draw for the viewers.
I can’t. That strikes me as the least interesting type of videogame to spectate.
Kids like PewDiePie for the humor. He’s a relatively level-headed guy, even if his jokes are a bit juvenile. The MSM constantly writing hit pieces on him is slowly pushing his audience of very young and impressionable kids further to the right, so that’s a plus.
Bruni, LOL!
Hey Bruni, how’s that piece of salmon on a plate with a twig of dill tasting right about now? Has your TDS addled brain blocked out the stench of it? That article has more dingbattery in the first 2 paragraphs than should fit in a 1000 page book. How does this person even have a job writing? I mean at anything supposedly more serious than Salon?
“I mean at anything supposedly more serious than Salon?”
Key word being “supposedly”. NYT is just barely above EF at this point.
Christ Almighty the comments are a cesspool.
“Let’s make sure we assign the scandal fatigue factor where it belongs- not on Mueller- but on Trump who is the most corrupt person ever in the WH or probably ever in government and surrounds himself with corrupt sycophants.”
MOST KURRUPT PERSON EVAH!!!!!11!!11!!!!!
This is like the fuckteenth time they’ve penned yet another hysteria filled article talking about Trump’s crimes, how he’s destroying democracy, and still, have yet to even one fucking time name one of these crimes or how he’s destroying the country. He just is, because. OK, yeah that’s some real fine journalism there. While at the same time there is real evidence that the Democrats committed some very real crimes during the election campaign season.
The fact you don’t know shows that you suffer from wrong think and need more education to remove your suffering.
It’s for your own good, Comrade.
Yeah, I know, my social credit score is really tanking.
And all the time, this is going on and the Democrats, FBI, and Justice Dept really don’t even try to deny it, they just try to spin it.
SPIES R US
No, Spies Like Us. All of this was Emmett Fitzhume’s fault.
And all this time, this was going on, and the Democrats and deep state don’t even try to deny it, they just try to spin it.
Spying on political opposition by government?”
I mean, is that wrong? No one told us it was wrong. /Comey, Clapper, and company.
Shit, a double post. Nice, squirrels? At least I made a few changes before 2nd attempt.
For OMWC
https://hotair.com/archives/2018/05/23/boy-scouts-told-prepared-condoms/
What do y’all think of this?
Federal judge rules Trump can’t block people on Twitter:
http://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=375402
Correct ruling or rank bullshit?
Umm, Twitter is a private company. Isn’t this their call? Also, does that mean no one can block other users? Because if not, I see political activism from this judge.
I see a judge who should be thrown out of office for being an ignorant twit.
The rationale as far as I can tell is that Trump blocking someone constitutes a govt restriction of free speech. Seems to be a bit of a stretch though.
I just happened to read a story on that & I’ve been trying to come up with a suitable analogy – how about:
“Trump can’t throw out mail without opening it and reading it first”
(not quite right, but in the ballpark, I think).
The rationale only makes sense if Twitter is operated by the government. I would think Trump would block 99.9999% of people, not because of their speech but because it would take 365 hours a day to manage.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naomi_Reice_Buchwald
Everything you need to know about a Clinton appointee.
I vote bullshit.
This judicial activism thing is getting a little scary. So, as a federal judge I can just make a decision based on ‘I don’t like you because political reasons’?
It’s going to get to the point where the judiciary is outright ignored whatever their rulings, and people will keep on doing whatever, because the judges themselves decided the rule of law was for chumps.
Yes, see pretty much every 5-4 Supreme Court ruling. There shouldn’t be that many close votes that run down party lines. And yet they do.
Mark Levin can be a bit rabid for my tastes but “Men in Black” is a pretty good summary of this. He focuses on the Supreme Court, but the same principles can be applied to district and circuit courts too.
I look forward to walking into the judge’s courtroom and shitting, metaphorically, all over it and disrupting any proceedings.
Rank bullshit
Nobody is obligated to provide you with a platform
If Trump can’t block people on Twitter because of the First Amendment, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that Twitter has been declared a public forum that must endorse all manor of speech protected by the First Amendment? i.e. Twitter should not be allowed to ban/shadow ban people? Maybe Twitter shouldn’t be able to unverify people either?
Also, from a personal standpoint, I agree with Scruffy.
Is it going to apply to Cory Booker too?
How about T-Bone?
I think this ruling was carved out under the existing Trump Exception, so no, it won’t apply to them.
I look forward to being able to walk into the White House and abuse the occupants again as long as I wish.
(Actually, that is how it should be. But not this Twitter ruling.)
As an aside, I think it shows how moronic Twitter is. Why would blocking a user also block them from seeing your public tweets? Or prohibit them from following you? In a normal world, block user would only mean you don’t see their tweets or DMs.
Fucking ridiculous. Just because he’s President doesn’t mean he loses his right to tell someone to fuck off.
But using current judicial logic; if Trump does it, it’s bad and unconstitutional. So not at all unexpected.
Federal judges cannot restrict or compel speech. Nor can they force you to listen to someone else’s bullshit. Trump should ignore this. What are they gonna do? Arrest him?
“He’s made his decision, now let him enforce it.”
Ha-ha. So not only an activist, but also spineless.
Anyone know of any good books about the 2016 election that aren’t written by a lefty? You know, a book that excludes the whole “but it was HER TURN and the country STOLE it from her!”
There are a few written from an ultra-right wing perspective: “EVIL SHRILLARY CLITDONG GETS PWNED BY KING TRUMP (PBUH)!!!!”
Err.. yeah, I see a few of those on Amazon. I’d like to avoid those.
There is no market for unbiased political analysis. So you are only going to see it from amateurs (like Glibs).
I’m not looking for unbiased. I’m just looking for something that isn’t absolutely swooning over one of the candidates. Unbiased doesn’t even exist anyway.
I look forward to being able to walk into the White House and abuse the occupants again as long as I wish.
Don’t get too abusive, or President Jackson will toss you out on your ear.
After I help myself to some of his corn whiskey.
Speaking of Twitter:
Obviously making up tweets wholesale now. Are there any questions in that attributed quote? Does that sound like the Judge?
If a judge were to ask a question about a campaign, would anybody listen? Would Trump listen? What if the judge were to be a former Fox News journalist? What if he’s a libertarian? What if he is defending Trump? Does the news media care? What if they were run by communists? What if this was a culmination of a century’s long infiltration and misinformation campaign by bolsheviks? If a quote in a tweet were misattrivuted and nobody read it, does it make a sound?
How are things in Libya these days?
Now I know why Sugarfree is SP’s favorite.