“I will destroy you all, vampire scum!” Warty growled at the feeding horde of bloodthirsty undead. They had killed the entire population of a small town and their bodies lay all around them, drained and pale, contorted in pain, or just torn to pieces. The town itself was burning in the distance behind them.
“Whoa, whoa, there’s no need to be hasty, friend,” the vampire in front said, lisping around his extended fangs.
“Look at this stake,” Warty said, raising a gnarled spike of gray and black wood. “I carved it from the last tree that will ever live. I’m going to shove it into your dead hearts and scrape them from your chests.”
“Wow. Such violent language,” a blonde vampire in back of the horde of undead said.
“Is that really necessary?” said a stately vampire dressed in rotted silk and lace.
“I’m very uncomfortable right now,” a child vampire said, the lower part of her face caked with gore. In her hand was the forearm of an infant that she took occasional sucks off of like a lollipop. “I just don’t think you are making this a safe space for expression.”
“You are murderers. You’ve drained this town dry,” Warty said. He kicked the nearest vampire in the crotch and his pelvis snapped audibly. Warty plunged the stake into the creature’s chest and he exploded into flame and ash, his disarticulated skeleton clattering to the ground.
Gasps. A few stifled cries. One vampire with blood-matted dreads and a tie-dyed cape exclaimed, “Harsh. Way harsh, bro.”
“You’re next, hippie,” Warty promised, advancing.
“Human supremacist,” one of the bloodsuckers hissed.
“Yeah, bro,” tie-dye said. “Check your living privilege.”
Warty backhanded him and his blood-stained fangs went flying out of his mouth.
“I’m going to cleanse this town of your kind,” Warty said, staking the toothless hippie.
“Fascist,” the little girl vampire hissed. The word got repeated, passed around like a joint; soon the entire crowd was high on it.
“I am not a fascist,” Warty said. “You are predators. Killers. Murderers.”
“We have a disease, man,” the silk-draped vampire said.
“An addiction. Gripped in the throes of addiction,” the child vampire said.
“We didn’t ask to be this way,” said a vampire in pantaloons and blouse, advancing on Warty. “We’re the real victims here.”
Warty shoved the vampire to the ground and they all backed away.
“Typical Neanderthal,” a tall blonde said. Her eyes were icy blue chips. “The only language he speaks is violence.”
A short female Hispanic vampire held up her hand. “Uh, Desomelda, I feel that as the only queer undead-of-color present, I should lead the re-education efforts of this huminated individual.”
The blonde’s haughty demeanor fell away. “Of course, Yara,” she said and melted into the back of the crowd.
Yara waddled forward, her fat little arms held out for balance.
“Blood-bloated tick,” Warty sneered.
“Your fatphobia has been noted,” Yara sneered back and many in the crowd smiled with confirmed bias.
Warty held up his stake. “If I get you with this, will it be the ash and flame gag, or will you just pop like a blood balloon?”
“That tone is very hurtful,” the child vampire said, her youthful face betrayed by her ancient, flat eyes.
“We know who you are, Warty Hugeman,” Yara said. She used fingers that dripped with blood to put air quotes around “man.”
“If you know who I am, then you know why I’m here to kill you,” Warty growled.
“Of course,” she said. “A hemophagic individual…”
“Vampire,” Warty interjected.
Yara rolled her milky eyes and continued, “A hemophagic individual supposedly hurt someone you loved…”
“She bled out in my arms,” Warty said tightly.
“Please stop interrupting,” Yara said, “It’s very rude.” The vampires behind her raised their hands and uptwinkled in agreement.
“OK,” Warty said through clenched teeth.
“Someone you loved was hurt and you blame all the persons who share the same disease that the supposed killer or killers also have. Is this correct?”
“Yes,” Warty said.
“And you feel that you need to kill everyone with the same disease?”
“The vampire threat…” Warty began. He was drowned out as the assembled bloodsuckers started barking in tandem.
It was so strange, Warty took a step back. “What the fuck?”
The short fat little vampire raised her arm and the barking stopped. “Please do not use the V-word,” Yara said. “We find it very offensive.” They all nodded, even the little girl trying to gnaw her way into the marrow of the denuded humerus she held.
“The v-word,” Warty said and sighed heavily.
“We have a disease, but we are not our disease,” Yara said crisply. “We are victims of an infection none of us chose.”
Someone behind her coughed loudly.
“An infection that most of us didn’t choose,” Yara corrected herself. “Please forgive me Archibald.” A pair of hands uptwinkled behind her.
“Victims?” Warty snorted. “You just murdered everyone in this entire town.”
“Yes, an unfortunate side effect of our disease. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made.”
A vampire staggered forward out of the crowd and vomited a spray of blood at Warty. He leaped back before the spray of blood hit him and he ordered his shoulder-mounted gun to fire. The vomiting creature was peppered with a dozen balls of compressed holy water. The vampire was drenched, and the ones near him were splattered. Their skin smoked and split where the water hit them. But the one that took the direct hits just kept vomiting, leaning over, his hands on his knees.
“Stop!” Yara yelled. “They wasn’t attacking you.”
“Yes he was!” Warty replied.
“They is just sick. Them not mean anything by it.”
“Why are you talking like a retard?” Warty asked, still in a defensive crouch.
“Wallid’s preferred pronouns are they and them, you shitlord,” the little girl snapped. She threw the splintered humerus at him weakly.
All of them had backed away from the vomiting vampire. They was just down to dry heaves at that point, them stomach convulsing painfully.
“What the fuck is wrong with… “ Warty asked, pointing.
“Wallid is still learning to digest blood. They is so brave. We are all very proud of them,” Yara said.
“Learning to digest blood? It’s a… v-word,” Warty finished lamely.
“Well, if you must know,” Yara said primly, “Wallid is a transhemophage.”
Warty pulled up an infrared view on his tactical display. Wallid stood out bright red and yellow against the group of ambient temperature wraiths ringed around him.
“So he thinks he’s vampire?” Warty asked.
Yara backed up and started to raise her arm.
“You dipshits start barking again, it’s holy water enemas for all of you,” Warty said.
The vampire horde, gasped, offended.
“Test me on this,” Warty said, and gave them a very scary smile.
Wallid straightened up and glared at Warty.
“You’re just so… so…,” they said, grasping for something truly hateful to say, “Reductive.” The sneer turned into a triumphant smile.
Warty pointed to the vomited up blood. “Reduct that, dumbfuck.”
“I am a vampire,” Wallid said. “I am. Ever since I was a small child I felt like a vampire. I’ve always known.”
“You used the v-word,” Warty said.
“Well, I can,” Wallid said. “It’s our word, not yours.”
“You’re surrounded by vampires, idiot. Just get one of them to turn you.”
“Some transhemos choose to stay non-bit; some are pre-bit,” Wallid said. “You don’t define me.”
“You’re covered in holy water,” Warty said.
Wallid looked around, stricken. A few of the other vampires nodded at him sadly. He though for a moment, then screamed and began to beat at his clothes and ran away.
“Happy, now?” Yara asked him.
“Yeah, pretty happy,” Warty said, smiling.
“Wallid is an important member of the HLPQT+ community and you just humiliated they,” Yara said. She bared her fangs and hissed.
“HLPQT+ community?” Warty asked. “Aw, fuck it.” He staked Yara and she blew up like a tractor tire filled with blood and guts and more blood.
“Who’s next?” he asked. “I want the Master Vampire.”
“There is no Master,” the demonic little girl told him.
“We operate on more of an adhocracy model, forming committees to tackle specific problems within the community and then disbanding,” the tall blond Desdomelda said. “For decisions that affect us all, we come together for a series of democratic votes, each vote weighted to reflect the intersections of prejudice and obsession the individual voter experiences.”
“This making any sense, caveman?” the little girl asked. Warty stepped forward before any of them could react and kicked her head clean off. It sailed out behind the horde and disappeared.
“Enough debate!” Warty said.
“Violence is the last refuge of the moron,” Desdomelda sniffed.
Warty unzipped the timesuit crotch and the Doomcock 2.0 deployed from its pelvic silo.
“Here comes patriarchy,” Warty said.
THE END
Snowflake vampires?
First.
For some reason, I found that oddly depressing.
I began to fear that Warty would start apologizing and do a struggle session confession.
I’m pretty sure the first snowflake vampires were introduced by PTerry in the Discworld.
I would say they were enlightened. I would not say they were snowflakes like modern SJWs.
Ehh, you had Doreen (who’s husband inherited vampirism, and they did everything together), and then the young vampires dressing up in bright colors. Then there were the black ribboners, and the protests about the Watch not having a v-word member.
But just like Led Zeppelin elevated the blues classics, it took Twilight to take snowflake vampires to a new level.
Warty unzipped the timesuit crotch and the Doomcock 2.0 deployed from its pelvic silo.
“Here comes patriarchy,” Warty said.
Awesome. You are truly gifted.
This is Pulitzer Prize level shit.
“Here comes patriarchy,”
Very good ending SF, you sick sick man.
#Metoo
Yasssss! Holy Water Enemas.
Does the Doomcock piss ho0ly water?
I gots ta know.
Napalm.
Because it smells like victory…
0*uptwinkles*
jazz hands!
Well done. Sure to become a Halloween classic, treasured by generations of glibs for years to come.
“Read it again! Read it again!”
Excellent storytelling! Thanks for the Halloween treat.
+1 bag of candy corn
That’s just sick.
It could be worse.
I was expecting Circus Peanuts.
I’m not a monster. If I’m going terrible candy, I’ll go to Necco Wafers, no further.
You’re an evil man Luther.
Stale circus peanuts are the bomb.
Literally, worse then Hitler.
Alternatively…
Are they ever fresh?
Truthy:
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/lewis_black_414445
This feels like cultural apropriation somehow
+1 Romanian otherkin
^^^ ROFL
“Your fatphobia has been noted,” Yara sneered back and many in the crowd smiled with confirmed bias.
That’s a nice line.
““You dipshits start barking again, it’s holy water enemas for all of you,” Warty said.”
Beautiful..
I, for one, can never get enough of Warty Hugeman.
Can’t wait for the Warty Hugeman vs STEVE SMITH episode
Warty Hugeman already fought STEVE SMITH. The hand to cock combat scene was incredible.
Was there any ass to mouth?
You never go ass to mouth!
/Dante
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment…
Yeah, well, Rosaria Dawson disagrees. Who you gonna listen to about sex? The hot latina chick or the dumpy beta guy working in a fast food store well into his 30s?
If I wasn’t at work, I’d be linking to some images from Sin City that should answer that question.
Someone linked a video the other day about a guy saying that ass kissing was the thing to do and when a piece of shit got caught in your mouth, you just spit it out like a watermelon seed and keep doing the deed…
See, and that’s why I don’t usually click on the videos.
You missed out man cause it was hilarious.
Chapter 6 is where it starts.
*UPTWINKLES*
KILLER! your best yet SF, have a great day, now hit MY M’fuckin music,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRDpabxm0so
They’ve got tremendous moxie, I’ll give ’em that much.
I really despise the secondary/tertiary effects argumentation that is used to justify so many things. If that were removed from acceptable scholarship, 90% of the social sciences would immediately dry up.
I have to disagree. In Economics you can justify a lot of horrible policies if you don’t look at the other non visible effects.
Go ahead and choke on that third hand smoke dude
And Steel Tariffs are great because they increase steel worker wages. It goes both ways, Not looking at the consequences of a policy just because it is a second order affect does not make for good science.
In that case, you’re only looking at one of the first order effects, the other being driving costs up for buyers.
Second and third order is stuff like “Raising tariffs causes less opioid dependence among mid-Westerners due to higher employment”
Holy shit.
I mean is logic something that has somehow evaporated from humanity’s gene pool?
On the left? Absolutely. I’mean. Joe Scarborough has been claiming that Trump tweeting about the World Series is some kind of coded signal to “white nationalists”.
Erm, what? You are joking about this right? Is that asshat really making that connection? I think this planet deserves an extinction level event…
It’s real, God help us…
Yup. Watch and weep.
Even Mika rolls her eyes at that comment.
WTF has to go wrong with someone that they see some sort of insane bullshit like this in anything and everything? Seriously. How do you see insane racial shit from a tweet about the world series? Did Trump say the team with the most honkeys won/lost, or something? Or is everything that involves competition by that nature (being competitive) now racist to these marxist douches?
WTF has to go wrong with someone that they see some sort of insane bullshit like this in anything and everything?
It’s actually pretty simple. Stupidity, unchecked, grows stupider. Every step of the way, any comment or suggestion attacking Donald Trump has been seen as defensible, or even laudable. And any challenge has been responded to with suggestions that, if you don’t agree, you’re obviously a racist, sexist, deplorable Trump fan.
My guess is it will get worse before it gets better.
It’ll for sure get worse. On the bright side, however, the Overton Stupidity Window is moving so far towards windowlicker that most of the salvageable people are gettin’ wise. What’s left are, you know, people who wear “pussy hats”. Morons, in other words.
from the comments:
NOTE: Not all of the children could be reached for comment
Dang.
I guess you can’t harm a child that doesn’t exist.
Restricting abortion access doesn’t just harm women. It harms their children as well
Makes perfect sense once you understand that, to NARAL, its not a “child” until it crowns during delivery, or perhaps the umbilical cord is cut.
BRAVO
“Trick or Vote. Leftists can ruin ANYTHING.
Still would, absolutely.
Well, if we’re using the GOB definition of “trick”, how is this even a question?
Illusions, Pan.
“It’s disgusting and offensive the way women are sexualized in Hollywood and treated like less than a whole person! Now, here, can you help me button up the brazierre to my sexy Captain America outfit. Oh, and can you make sure my buttocks don’t stcck out of the short shorts? At least too much.”
Sexualizing women is offensive. And I will demonstrate against this by wearing a foam hat that looks like a vulva. I will call it my “pussy hat” so that you know to take me seriously.
The replies are, shall we say, unsupportive. Don’t think she’s winning a lot of hearts and minds.
Well, she’s an idiot, so…..
You know darn well that that’s not a disqualifier for having a large and loyal prog following.
Hell, it’s practically a requirement.
Despite her terrible politics, I would still do her (If I wasn’t married).
I would, if I had an absolute guarantee of anonymity.
Because you know, if you don’t call her or go to the Resist rally with her the next day, you’re looking at a #metoo accusation or a bunny boiling in the kitchen.
Yeah, the temptation would be strong, but the risk of crazy repercussions is so damn high I think I’d probably say no.
She can knock on my door.
Hey, maybe you too have an elderly relative looking for a hobby to pass the time in the golden years….
Do they also have a picture of him shitting on a sidewalk?
He has a few selfies doing that…
I am sure there are many jealous sons out there that wish they could drop their mom off to panhandle and make some money…
Finally, a hobby that pays for itself.
Bravo, Sugar Free, Bravo!
@(*&@$$&^!!
Just got my estimated insurance premiums for next year.
In bold type – Congratulations, your premium is reduced by 7% from $3,200 / month to $3,000 / month! (Doesn’t really matter because it’s a subsidized policy anyway)
In small type – 20% coinsurance is now 30% coinsurance
– Deductible went from $5600 / family to $13,200 / family
It’s cheaper as long as you don’t use it. See, it’s just an incentive to help you live a healthier life.
I don’t mind having a big deductible. I hate paying thru the nose for it.
And I mind that nobody outside of the hospital chain that owns the only insurance being offered in my area accepts their shit insurance.
Not really, it is cheaper unless he needs to spend more than $5800 then it starts becoming more expensive
All my deductibles went up. My costs went up. And they are reducing some of the benefits. Thanks for Obamacare!
My cost went up about $2 per pay period. My deductibles stayed the same. They added ABA therapy to our benefit package, so I no longer have to pay that out of pocket.
Maybe I am paying for you?
Call me closed-minded about alternative medicine if you like, but I don’t see how listening to disco-era Swedish pop counts as therapy.
I thought it was legal therapy.
The ABA would be more like reprogramming than therapy.
Swee…Oh.
Clearly we need single payer.
Shiiiit. Just *imagine* how much worse this would be without O-care bending that cost curve.
I’ve covered the insanity of how the subsidies work in the past. They create a massive tax disincentive to exceed a certain amount of income for the middle class. Fuck Obama and his sycophant asslickers for that steaming pile of dog shit known as the ACA. And fuck the spineless, craven GOP for not doing what they said they would do and get rid of it.
My cost on our family plan increased by ~25%. Deductible increased by 50%. Coinsurance went up I think from 20 to 30%.
Considering some 20 million people still lack healthcare, I can’t help but wonder if these new costs aren’t just byproducts of the massively grown bureaucracies needed to keep Obamacare going.
Great googly moogly.
Obama had his healthcare law can go choke on a bag of dicks for what they have done to the cost of health care for people who pay for their own. I have a stack of medical bills I’m about to have to start paying off from my daughter. Everytime I wrote another check it pisses me off.
Also, the GOP are a bunch of spineless twats for not repealing that pipe of garbage when they had the chance. They had a two year window to do it and they did nothing. Its here to stay until we are ushered into single payer by the next Democrat majority congress.
You can thank John McCain (who is currently burning in hell) for that.
I guess when faced with demographic collapse, you do all kinds of crazy stuff.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780
What planet are on again?
Planet welfare state/Socialism
Chocolate Nixon is the greatest nickname for Obama ever created. I forget which of y’all I stole it from. But every time I use it, I get some lefty facebook friend concern-trolling me.
For example, I made the point that I do not take seriously liberal complaints about Trump using an EO to reinterpret the way the 14th Amendment is applied to immigration, as y’all were fine with Chocolate Nixon using his pen and phone to make decisions on immigration law. Like clockwork I get a ‘Don’t you think chocolate is a bit offensive’. My reply, “No, I think comparing him to Nixon is offensive. And it is intended to be. It’s an insult.”
One of my earliest memories is of my grandfather holding me up in a voting booth so I could pull the wee lever. I voted for Nixon in ’72. To be sure, that’s the vote of which I’m most proud and have the least regrets.
Dude I love you, but not in any sort of gay way… Your cock 🙂
how the fuck did you rock end up showing your cock? Are the Glib admins fooking with me?
bahahahaha!
NTTIATWWT
I am suspecting this is happening because it is an SF post.. his “talent” is affecting the page rendering…
Best. John-O. Ever.
The smiley face really ties it all together.
Admitedly, my cock makes /me/ happy. And my wife and g/f. I guess AlexinCT goes on the list too.
Et tu CA?
I’ve said it before: you can learn a lot about someone from their auto-corrects.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That is a John-O for the ages.
GOOT!
Second and third order is stuff like “Raising tariffs causes less opioid dependence among mid-Westerners due to higher employment”
No, but it means they can afford better quality dope.
Anarcho-capitalist Halloween:
http://wendymcelroy.com/images/newspost_images/43354526_10217162455438539_7650146351216328704_n.jpg
OK, that rocks..
Trying to redeem yourself?
At least it didn’t “auto correct” this time
I ain’t showing you my cock, Alex
Oh, alright, have a dick pick
https://www.dickguitarpicks.com/product/dick-guitar-picks
I AM BEING OTHERED!
Hmmmm…doesn’t seem to be an autocorrect error.
https://smile.amazon.com/photos/share/CDB3ioQgQ6pLIxDWH64YMqwZCdOvQsWlHqgiVyW8kjD/gallery/_tKG7jKyTBeRCQdifa43Mw
Nice.
Needs more heroin in the machine.
So my husband just won an Anova Culinary Sous Vide Precision Cooker. I don’t know anything more than that.
Sounds like a military program.
Who cooks at the Mojeaux house?
Nobody. He’s taking the cash option. LOL
Good call. If you really want to try cooking with a warm-water bath, use the dishwasher.
Sweet – got one as a wedding present. I’m a fan.
Seriouseats.com has a whole section on sous vide cooking
Mmmm…sous vide salmon
sous vide salmon is so easy and so goddamn delicious
Something that can be used for sous vide cooking or (probably not a big draw for you), homebrewing. Do you have a vacuum sealer?
you don’t need a vacuum sealer for sous vide, in general. Ziploc freezer bags in 95% of the cases.
Though I sprung for some nice Weck jars for these: https://recipes.anovaculinary.com/recipe/sous-vide-egg-bites-bacon-gruyere
Yeah, the sous vide contraption isn’t going to get used, so he’s taking the cash option.
I have a vacuum sealer for my SHTF preps.
If the cash option is over $100, you could still get the sous vide stick as well. I’ve heard lots of good things about sous vide, but haven’t pulled the trigger on one yet.
Oh, you don’t need a vacuum sealer for sous vide (although I think it might be useful if you are going to waste your sous vide on vegetables). We get perfectly good results by slowly putting the ziplock bag with the meat into the water bath. The water forces out all the air anyway, so if you are careful you just slip it into the bath and seal up the ziploc. Voila!
I have one. Love it.
Best salmon I’ve ever made.
Sous vide can make some awesome dishes. What it does for fish is divine.
Stolen from AoS: Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII costumes.
Fantastic.
Fuck the entire Microsoft suite of products… That is all.
Agreed.
Open Office.
*roaring applause*
I sympathize, but PCs are still better than Macs
Truth.
Have you been subjected to the shit show that is Microsoft Teams yet?
Thank God no. I’m actually experimenting with slack right now for our team, but it doesn’t quite fit our workflow. Teams would wholly fuck it up.
The company I work for moved us off of Jabber, and onto MS Teams. It has… not gone well. This change was done at the same time as moving from WebEx to Zoom for support conferences. I’m glad I’m dedicated to one customer.
While we’re on the topic, does anybody know of a good tool for handling a large number( on the order of 10k) of “submarine” projects? Submarine meaning that they surface on occasion with a few tasks to do, and then they disappear for a few months.
What prompts them to surface? What constitutes “to handle” them?
These are patent applications. Essentially we’re playing ping pong with the patent office. We draft the patent, then the patent office gets back to us a couple years later with a document rejecting the patent. Then we draft additional supporting documents based on the rejection and wait for the patent office to respond to our additional supporting documents.
For my part, handling usually involves parsing a pdf for references to other patents, downloading those other patents from a repo, analyzing our patent application in light of those other patents, and drafting a document in response. Additional tasks are handled by my paralegal, such as prepping accompanying forms, tracking formal deadlines, citing additional patents were aware of, etc. If we outsource the work for a certain application , some different tasks are involved.
This is all (poorly) tracked in a db and via email. When a case comes back up to surface, I have to go hunt through old emails for information about this case. Something like slack, where the context is better preserved, would be helpful, but slack doesn’t seem too great at the file management and project management portions of the job.
Theres a little voice in the back of my head saying “design a better database”, but I’m pretty sure that’s Satan talking.
Smells like an engineering order workflow in EDM
which probably is too much muscle if you don’t already have END
another way to think about it is ownership: is there a sales desk or product manager who owns responsibility for each patent? Maybe this shouldn’t be a workflow but just an ownership and status matrix (with of course policies and SOP)
Capturing the email relationships seems to be the key there.
Honestly, unless the Google or Microsoft Suites can handle it, I’d recommend your own database.
Take a look at Postbooks. It runs on the PostgreSQL backend and is fully open source. It’s designed for manufacturing but is extremely flexible. With some commercial add-ons, it can integrate with an email server.
I’m quite familiar with the product and am available offline if you want to discuss.
I wonder if something like Jira would work? https://www.atlassian.com/software/jira
You can update issue comments via e-mail, attach files, etc. Maybe it’s too software-focused.
I don’t have direct experience, but maybe a Basecamp, Asana, Trello, etc?
https://sprout24.com/10-best-basecamp-alternative/
I agree with Don Escaped Texas that is sounds like a workflow problem.
And I agree with slumbrew that Jira can handle it. I don’t know if Jira is too big or just right. But it might be worth checking into.
I’m familiar with jira from my time at Cisco. I thought it was too software focused, but perhaps it’s worth a look.
I’m currently evaluating trello, and it’s… okay. It’s simultaneously too heavy in some areas and too lightweight in others. However, it’s better than what we currently have, which is the digital equivalent of a bunch of sticky notes stu K to each paralegal’s monitor.
another way to think about it is ownership: is there a sales desk or product manager who owns responsibility for each patent? Maybe this shouldn’t be a workflow but just an ownership and status matrix (with of course policies and SOP)
This is similar to how we currently operate, except that the policies are more like vague guidelines, and each person (not just owners) has their own SOP.
What kind of projects? Software?
Microsoft Project, and make sure you put them all in one combined project file and create lots of dependent tasks linking them all together.
You are Hitler
This idea is good, but has a flaw. You should come up with something that also incorporates Lotus Notes, so that you can take advantage of Notes’ ability to replicate a large database on many nodes over low bandwidth connections.
That would make it perfect.
How many people need to access these projects? Just you and the paralegal, or others in-house, or all of the above plus sometimes outside resources? What resources do you have for hosting the software?
I’m using Teams right now!
We tested and rejected.
We tested and determined all other options would require further testing, therefore it is merely a stopgap measure…
I wasn’t involved in any testing, and don’t know if any was done. It was mandated that we move over to it.
That’s what she said.
OMG this so much.
How the hell do you manage in 2018 to make a brand new chat application and have the outcome be significantly worse than garbage a couple guys in their garage put out 20 years ago?
I’ve seen IRC clients that worked better than teams does
It’s all so confusing.
From the If you’re so rich, why aren’t you smart? desk:
Benioff says the problem isn’t money. When you look at the money spent in relation to the size of the problem, he notes that the city is not spending more money on this issue.
“You can kind of look at that as an example – like homeless families. We know, after running programs in the city for seven years now, you can get a homeless family off the street. We’ve created a series of shelters in the city for women-led families. Through those shelters we’ve moved hundreds of families off the streets. But it costs about $35,000 to $50,000 per homeless family to get them off the street. Or about $30 million or $40 million. That’s why we just raised that privately.”
So what is Proposition C? Well, it would tax a select group of businesses, about 400, that make more than $50 million in revenue.
Noting that his company is the biggest employer in San Francisco, Benioff says, “Big business pays, consumers don’t pay.”
“But it costs about $35,000 to $50,000 per homeless family to get them off the street.”
*clutches chest, falls to floor*
WTF?
Benioff is an honest to god retard.
Business never raise their prices in response to increased costs. It is known.
Fuck those homeless dads.
“I just want my kids back.”
Programs like these are flat out immoral. They end up helping almost no one and actually make the problem significantly worse.
Benioff is a victim of his own success.
I still don’t understand how Salesforce got to be so big for such a useless product.
I don’t understand how many of these large enterprise software companies got as big as they did on the backs of crappy products. And I’m jealous that I didn’t go into SAP fifteen years ago so I could now be a implementation consultant pulling down good six figures by inflicting that stuff on others.
I didn’t know it was even still around. I’ve never known anyone who used it.
I looked at it a few times when I was evaluating ERPs and couldn’t figure out what the fuck it did other than some CRM and integration with mass emailing systems.
Salesforce is a CRM with some nice customization options. The number of steps required to make it an ERP are…ridiculous.
I worked briefly as a Salesforce dev and that was my impression, too. If you just leave it to do what it’s supposed to do it’s fine. It’s when you try to take it into full-fledged ERP territory that it just doesn’t hold up.
I think it’s more likely he’s a liar. (Always go with evil before stupid.)
Benioff is an honest to god retard.
Or he’s hoping the voters are retards.
Benioff is rich enough he could fund the entire fucking program himself, and not miss a meal.
When asked if that’s not a lot of money for them he said, “It’s a very small amount of money. And, by the way, this is the money we need if we want to get the homeless off the streets. There is no other plan. And those big businesses will pay, but consumers will not.”
But where will that money go? Benioff says there’s a definite plan on how that money will be spent.
“You’re gonna have incredible new shelters that will be built, 1,000 people will go in shelters,” he said. “There will be rent assistance for people who are about to become homeless and incredible mental health care. But there is a very elaborate and very sophisticated plan that goes with Prop C.”
Incredible, indeed.
And that plan? The very elaborate and very sophisticated one? All you have to do is pass this initiative to find out what it is. I say go for it.
“Shelters”
“But it costs about $35,000 to $50,000 per homeless family to get them off the street.”
Subcontract that to the Chinese; they can get the job done a whole lot less, with no recurring expenses.
And you’ll get a whole lot of new organs for donation to rich coastal elites.
Now that’s how you do a proper Halloween story.
Hell, why not lease one of their ghost cities and send families to live there? I bet it’s a lot less expensive than what California shells out to house ’em locally.
Obligatory Uyghur link, and not Dilireba this time.
SugarFree, you are a genius.
Montana LP candidate throws-in the towel less than a week before the election
https://twitter.com/GFTrib_PDrake/status/1057674413347299328
“Just got off conference call where Libertarian candidate Rick Breckenridge throws support to Republican Matt Rosendale. Breckenridge says he did not have numbers to win seat.”
That’s a Wayne Allen Root move. Bogus
Since I brought up the topic of Wayne Allen Root (former LP VP nominee), the clown has a show on Newsmax TV and it’s as bad as you’d expect it to be.
Is it his “WAR” broadcast? I think I’ve heard it…
Yes, it is stylized as “WAR” and it takes place in either a very cluttered dining room or a very cramped office
The devil weed makes you STOOOOOPID.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/10/30/662127406/when-adolescents-give-up-pot-their-cognition-quickly-improves
Some theme music,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXvtDm820zI
Yasss!
Excellent.
Cue the world’s tiniest violins.
https://pjmedia.com/trending/unions-bleed-20m-amid-mass-exodus-of-25k-workers-in-wake-of-supreme-court-free-speech-case/
Get out!
That cannot be, I’ve been informed that unions are a force of pure good whose sole purpose is to protect employees from the evil corporations that enslave them.
Once again, fuck Bloomberg. Drooling dementia is too good for that evil sack of shit.
You want to know the really infuriating bit about this?
I (and I’m sure others) alerted Ron Bailey about this when it started back in 2015-2106, and he not only blew us off, but when I last checked a few months ago, still hadn’t gotten around to penning a single article laying out this conspiracy.
If had won the lottery, part of me would be tempted to purchase a controlling stake in Reason for the sole purpose of hiring Steven McIntrye as an editor and requiring Ron Bailey to get Steve’s approval on any article he published in the future.
That is infuriating.
Bailey’s a warmist, so why would he want to expose somebody who is pushing for “solutions” to this “problem”?