“RED WAVE! RED WAVE! RED WAVE!” The chanting died away as the party wore on.
Paul Ryan was the first to leave, executing the perfect Irish goodbye, slipping out as the second round of canapes and peg boys were brought in, tears in his eyes as he said farewell to this life of excess and power, a vague idea of mounting a primary challenge in 2020 squirming around in his mind like wad of sick eels.
Jeff was next, making excuses and shaking hands and trying to turn his grimace into a smile. He had snuck into the Presidential Shitter and left a glistening turd on the floor and wiped his ass on a bathrobe. He had spent the whole victory party waiting to be fired but he had avoided Donald all night, staying below his sightline, like a small furry mammal trying to hold on until the meteor would come and take all the giant dinosaurs away. He slept under his bed all night, crying, wondering if he had ever really been loved by anyone.
Mitch had gotten drunk on his own cheap bourbon and his quiet, tiny Chinese wife tried to keep him away from the slim young boys brought in to pass around the food and drinks and their own sweet pink mouths to anyone interested. He had been screaming about facefucking an underling since they had been accosted in a Louisville restaurant and his leftovers had been thrown into the street. She guided him out—stumbling, lurching, muttering, grim–when the bourbon pushed him into one of his moods. She got him in a limo, vowing not to be the face that got fucked that night.
Hope, her face perfect, brought along the new man she was draining the life out of. She kissed Donald on the cheek and brushed a hand lightly against his mushroom as she leaned in. Donald had been dreaming about her as the campaign schedule for the midterms had worn him down enough to fitfully sleep. He had dreamed she had eaten him, starting with the feet and working her way up. No pain, no blood, just pleasure has her strong white teeth bit into him, as her jaw and neck tensed to tear pieces of him away. He had always woken up before she reached his genitals, but the dream satisfied nonetheless. He watched her teeth as she made her way around the party and stayed uncomfortably erect until she made her excuses and left.
Melania had walked through once, early on, her face a stone mask, ushering Barron before her like a shield. She said nothing to no one and kept Barron from eating anything from the passing trays of delicacies and grotesques. When the boy had run to his Uncle Steve, and the bleary eyes of the old drunk had brightened, and his shaking hands had reached out to tousle the boy’s hair, she had pulled him back and the two of them retreated to the residence. She insisted that he sleep in her room that night and made the young scion help her push a dresser up against the door.
“All are welcome, all are welcome,” Donald roared. He was on a throne he had had erected by trembling interns, boxes of copy paper stacked high into a dais, the legs of a regal old chair they had found in the basement digging into the tops. Donald had demanded a scepter and a crown. A joke, you see. He meant nothing by it, he had told them. All a joke, all just humor. But when he had come out of the Presidential Shitter, around 2am, when no one was left that would dare to object, in a crown taped together from yellow paper and a scepter made from a mailing tube and gold paint and a bathrobe with a streak of shit down the back, dark with occult blood, thrown over his shoulders like a robe and had ascended to his throne and tossed handful of quarters at the loyalists who were dutifully cheering, it hadn’t seemed like much of a joke and no one was laughing but a hat that almost no one else could hear.
* * * * *
“We gained seats in the Senate, at least,” the hair said, reading a copy of The Wall Street Journal that a secretary had thrown into the room.
“Have they mentioned the Red Wave?” the hat asked, not even looking up from tweeting.
“Don’t call it that.”
“Why not.”
“Uh, because it sounds like a giant menstrual clot sweeping the country?”
“Oh, grow up,” the hat snapped.
“You grow up,” the hair said back.
Sarah danced in the middle of the Oval Office, eyes closed, frowning, swaying back and forth queasily to music only she could hear. Her dress was off and one bra strap undone; the left breast hung out, flabby and listless, the baby-gnawed nipple rugose and blood-blister maroon. From ribcage to knees she was in industrial-grade Spanx. She had pissed herself some time ago.
Donald laughed, picking through a tray of wilted canapes and drinking Diet Coke from an ornate goblet. Occasionally he would flick a caper at Sarah and clap if they stuck to her pallid flesh. His paper crown was torn, discarded; his scepter, bent from hitting Corey when he had tried to frottage the Valiant desk, was in the trash. The gold-faced intern that had made both snored behind and fake ficus filled with cigarette butts and used female condoms. The USA hat and the FLOTUS hat had been wadded into an erotic ball and wedged between his butt cheeks by laughing Ben Shapiro. He had left by the Kennedy fuck tunnels hours ago, leaving his +1 snoring on the couch.
“Steve! STEVE!” the hat yelled. “WAKE UP!”
“Stop yelling, stop yelling!” Donald said. “My head is killing me.”
“Maybe you should try and get some sleep, Donald,” the hair said. “You got the midterms results speech at 11:30.”
“Fake news,” Donald mumbled.
Steve rolled over on the couch and farted loudly, wetly and for an inhuman length of time.
“Is he trying to turn himself inside out?” the hair asked, aghast.
“Hobos learn to fart when they can,” the hat said, tweeting furiously. “He needs to go before anyone catches him in the White House. The press will plotz.”
Steve jerked when the long fart finally petered out. The shrimp he had stuffed his pockets with fell to the floor one by one.
“Is there any way he didn’t just shit himself?” the hair asked. Donald giggled.
“My victory speech is at 11:30?” he asked. “And the press will be there? Fake CNN and fake MSNBC and fake CNC and fake BBC?”
“It will be heavily covered, Donald,” the hat said. “At least go take a shower. You smell like a homeless vagina.”
“It’s not a victory, Donald,” the hair said. “The Democrats took the House. They can release your tax returns and have subpoena power.”
“Just let them,” the hat growled.
“They’ll never impeach me,” Donald said, drawing himself up in his chair. He looked regal in his stained undershirt and man-panties.
“It’s not about that…” the hair started.
“NEVER!” Donald said, slamming his hand down on his desk. Sarah screamed.
“PIE!” he yelled. “Come here!”
Sarah shuffled over to him, a pout on her face. He gathered up her exposed breast meat and brought the rough nipple to his mouth.
“Lactate!” he ordered, talking around her flesh in his mouth.
“Mr. President,” she said, tears beginning in her asymmetrical eyes.
“Do it!” the hat screeched.
Donald sucked and sucked and sucked until the blood began to flow and he drank.
Fuck you Paul Ryan. You suck.
True. When I saw the Dems had retaken the House I was disappointed and a little worried, but then I thought, “Well, the useless Republicans have held it for four years and we’ve still got Obamacare and gun laws still suck, so what’s the difference?”
The Dems will pass more laws the Republicans will not Repeal?
Eh, without control in the Senate they won’t be able to get much passed. And it’ll be the same quality of shit that came out of the Ryan-controlled House. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still disappointed, it’s just that my level of disappointment hasn’t increased.
I really see very little to be disappointed about. It’s not like the GOP had some grand sweeping legislative agenda to begin with after tax cuts and repealing the ACA, let alone one I’d support. The Senate matters more simply for the judicial crap and blocks anything too stupid. And I get the entertainment of Trump attacking Pelosi and her cohorts for two years.
There was no blue wave. Those who attacked Kavanaugh during that circus and who were vulnerable lost. This was really a weak showing by the Democrats and even they know it.
The worst thing that could come out of this is bipartisanship of any kind. Even on a few issues. It’s not going to be the issues libertarians care about. It’s going to be massive spending bills and “infrastructure” spending.
^^^^
I don’t think the Ds know it. I made the mistake of checking two progressive “friends” derpbook pages. You would think yesterday’s vote was a tremendous victory for them.
They think it’s a sport. It feels especially good when your 1 and 12 team finally wins one.
Well, the useless Republicans have held it for four years
Eight years. They took the House in 2010.
True. I was thinking four years with a Republican president, but I’m not sure Trump counts.
If you look into it, it really is true that the team with the person in the Whitehouse tends to do pretty badly in a midterm. They almost always lose seats. If you consider that the Dems only picked up 26 seats in the house and the GOP actually gained seats in the Senate, it was a pretty poor showing by the Dems. And I’m not one to try to make up excuses for my team to feel better about it. I don’t have a team, but I will admit that I despise the Dems of today and have a lot more respect for the Rs, as little as that may be.
No more Eddie Munster, McCaskill lost (and I don’t even live in Missouri), and Trump just fired Sessions. I’m not especially unhappy right now. In fact, I’m in a pretty good mood.
The Donald may be down right now, but by 2 he’ll have regained his composure and be on an all-out Twitter offensive. Just you wait and see.
He’s holding a glorious presser right now. Already had an Acosta episode and told April Ryan to sit down.
Reality is beating out SF here. He should have waited a few more hours. #TheEmbrace.
Acosta on the microphone. Like he’s there to debate Trump. Goes like a minute without asking a question.
This is the best timeline. Thank you John Titor for leaving us in this timeline before disappearing!
Gridlock. Woohoo!
Not that this is anything you all don’t already know, but Joy Behar is a goddamned moron.
I needed a good laugh.
It’s morons all the way down. The exciting part of days like this is to see what new derp will be birthed. Senate popular vote? They don’t disappoint.
That “popular vote” bullshit is the new rallying cry from these idiots, isn’t it? Fuck. Ing. A.
This may have been the SF story that pushed me over the brink, into madness.
“He looked regal in his stained undershirt and man-panties.”
OK, this is seriously a sentence I never, ever, EVAH! thought I would have to read… WTF are man-panties?
Go on, google it. I dare you.
Yeah, not gonna happen at work, and not after work either….
Pussy! Do it!
And then explain it to me, cuz there’s no way in hell I’m gonna do it.
In the heady days of the mid-1980s, we all called them “fancy nut-huggers.”
Oh…I know what you’re talking about. Yeah, man-panties, indeed.
Banana hangers?
I double-dog dare you, Alex.
In my younger years I would have soooo gone for that stuff Tonio, but now that I am older and wiser, I am gonna pretend I didn’t so I can avoid the shame.
They make him feel pretty. He can feel pretty if he wants.
He had spent the whole victory party waiting to be fired but he had avoided Donald all night, staying below his sightline, like a small furry mammal trying to hold on until the meteor would come and take all the giant dinosaurs away. He slept under his bed all night, crying, wondering if he had ever really been loved by anyone.
Sublime.
These guys get it. My son graduates high school (hopefully) in 7 months and will go to college out of state. At that point I’m a free agent. New Hampshire, PA, the deep south… I’ll be entertaining offers from all.
Move to the Pennsylvania wilds, it’s like being in Alabama with New Hampshire’s weather, you get all three!
I’ll admit, I’ve thought about Pennsyltucky, but shit’s just too damned weird up there.
It’s not as weird on the outside of the state, though it is still plenty weird, but smack dab in the middle of Pennsylvania? Everyday you get to play a game where you try to figure out of you’re stuck in an episode of Twin Peaks, the Twilight Zone, or hillbilly Black Mirror. Fun times.
Last summer we visited California University of Pennsylvania. My son’s eyes were popping out of his head at what we were seeing in the local towns. We did some shopping at the local Walmart and that was quite the experience.
Why go for the fake, when you can have the the real ‘tucky?
Hey, Mr. in Lansdale…be sure to check out this place for BBQ – http://www.jessesbarbecue.com/
It’s pretty close to you and it’s fantastic.
I do like bbq, and I have an unhealthy trust of people named Jesse; I’ll check it out, thanks.
I have an unhealthy trust of people named Jesse
*takes notes, schemes*
http://www.redfin.com
Never too early to start looking around.
both you and Suzy Bogguss know what to do
I take my advice from drunk Irishmen.
Oh shit, he went full vore fetish…*double checks family friendly certification*
Vore fetishism is just warmed-over womb envy, imo. And what’s more family friendly than a baby?
Henry Spencer was unavailable for comment.
*blank stare*
How the heck did we even get that? We’ve must have slipped through the cracks somehow. At least we know we don’t have snitches complaining about content.
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…
I come go Glibs and all is redeemed.
Silly article #1.
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/g24517829/anal-sex-positions-begginers-pros/
Teen Vogue haz sadz that it didn’t get the scoop.
Subversive commie plot or not, I can not not support any trend that increases the ass sex. I’m too damn libertarian.
What if it’s you whose ass is being pounded?
Libertarian moment!!!
You’re going to make me come back to a Hat-n-Hair post after I get out of work. That’s harsh, dude.
I’m not a poop on my pecker type of guy.
Trump throws the best parties. Classiest parties. I know parties. Believe me.
Pie seems like the girl who would wear pastys, but they would be the size of softballs to cover her.
Pie gets a bad rap. Most of it is deserved.
The Saints just signed Dez Bryant for any of you FF fanatics out there.
Dammit. Missed scooping him up by minutes. Thanks anyway PC.
Given his record over the last couple of years I don’t really see him being all that relevant in Fantasy Football
He doesn’t have Dak throwing to him now. That’s a plus.
Silly article #2.
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/d3emnj/rule-34-lego-porn
Posted without comment.
YOU get a onesie and YOU get a onesie and YOU get a onesie…
https://pagesix.com/2018/11/07/oprahs-favorite-things-list-includes-168-adult-onesies/?_ga=2.105940865.34243289.1541539064-338724498.1516213734
Fort Worth the city might still be the last republican city in Texas, but “Fort Worth County” no longer is. The last thing I knew about Texas is no longer true.
In an overnight shocker, @BetoORourke won Tarrant County by 3800 votes. Tarrant County is no longer the perfect bellwether of Texas elections: It’s more purple now. #txsen #tx2018 — Bud Kennedy / #ReadLocal (@BudKennedy) November 7, 2018
pic.twitter.com/RPm61It76P
Fort Worth the city might still be the last republican city in Texas, but “Fort Worth County” no longer is. The last thing I knew about Texas is no longer true.
I’m wondering how instructive the vote totals for that race actually are, though, given that Abbott cruised to victory with no problems. Maybe it was mostly a case of an absolutely ridiculous amount of money being spent for Rob O’Rourke and the fact that no one truly likes Ted Cruz.
Your inference is more solid; I’m adopting it immediately.
I really see very little to be disappointed about. It’s not like the GOP had some grand sweeping legislative agenda to begin with after tax cuts and repealing the ACA, let alone one I’d support. The Senate matters more simply for the judicial crap and blocks anything too stupid. And I get the entertainment of Trump attacking Pelosi and her cohorts for two years.
I agree.
It will be interesting to see how much effort is put into deposing Pelosi. It’s somebody else’s turn. Somebody colored. Somebody “young”.
Ocasio-Cortez for Speaker.
We should be so lucky.
I’m wondering if anyone has explained the three branches of government to her yet and if she knows which one she was elected to.
Doesn’t matter, everything is going to be free!
Somebody alive*
*Its a joke NSA. She’s old, it happens to old people all the time.
I, for one, find this offensive. Dead voters are an important, but ignored Democratic constituency. Why should the privileged living get preference?
Persons of no color have rights too!
We need The Fresh Start Club for dead rights! Reg Shoe for Congress!
Fake news. We’ve gotten rid of election fraud.
So… RBG?
I nominate that Muslim lady from Minnesoda who married her brother.
What the hell is wrong with you, Minnesoda?
Probably the blood loss from all of the mosquitoes. And the New Glarus beer that they won’t distribute out of state! Come on! Even Short’s finally distributed out of state before they got bought by Heineken, and they said they never wanted to leave Michigan.
Ackshully!…New Glarus comes from ‘Sconny. It was a bar in Minnesota that fell afoul of liquor laws by smuggling a keg across state line and tapping it to sell.
I mixed up my state. I have failed in my beer geek knowledge. Stupid work interrupting me during my ranting times.
I was going to point that out right away, but your knowledge of beer made me think I was just reading your comment wrong. I read it 5-6 times wondering what I was missing and decided to not comment so I wouldn’t look dumb. Like that’s ever stopped me before…
“Somebody colored. Somebody “young”.
Somebody more commie.
There was no blue wave.
I believe the data will show that no demographic changed its ideas about anything
except that maybe suburban college moms we a tiny bit put off by Trump’s antics (as a stand-in for a few actual issues, maybe) and moved ten points, enough to budge the needle in precisely the eight seat races that got away from Red by a hair. In 2018, the economy is back, so, with no smell of fox in the air, the hens went back to sitting on the nest and attending to dusting and knitting; with no 9/11, there was no mommy urge to batten down and vote like hubby tells her.
The huge turnout seems to have also been universal, serving only to increase the numbers in play but not the fractions where they voted.
The districts that budged . . . and the folk therein who budged and why . . . are the roadmap to 2020 success.
Yes, if Trump had just used a more civil tone (without changing his policies one iota) several of those narrowly lost seats would have
remained in GOP. See Rohrabacher’s close loss, for example.
Rohrabacher was going to lose regardless. He’s been soft on Russia since the 90’s and progressives had been pushing fever dreams hard against him.
I suspect that the suburbs will swing back (as they did after 2008), but Trump does not impress suburbanites. The real weird thing is how voting Democrat has become a fashion statement among suburbanites. A way of saying “I’m one of those good Republicans. And I went to college”.
Weird thing is that rural and exurbs remain more loyal to Trump than Republicans.
God, everything is so stupid
Yes, if Trump had just used a more civil tone (without changing his policies one iota) several of those narrowly lost seats would have
remained in GOP.
Except that I suspect that for every person put off by Trump’s tone enough to cast an anti-Trump vote, at least one person is motivated by that tone to cast a pro-Trump vote.
as a stand-in for a few actual issues
Christ, guys, it was just a catch-all; I literally said so. Name the umbrella however makes the most sense to represent the tiny few women who I assert have come to love Trump less in the last two years.
Hell, RC, you lived close to (in?) TX32. You don’t think a housemom or two in those apartments off Beltline changed her mind?
I’m sure they did.
We saw high turnout across the board in this election. Trump’s personality doesn’t just motivate people to vote Blue, it also motivates people to vote Red. You basically said so yourself (“serving only to increase the numbers in play but not the fractions where they voted”).
The districts that budged . . . and the folk therein who budged and why . . . are the roadmap to 2020 success.
It certainly something the pros should be looking at now, but two years is a long time. Look at how this mid-term changed due to the Kavanaugh hearings, a relatively contained partisan shitshow. Imagine something important happening in the real world during the next two years – that will probably make a bigger impact on 2020 than Trump’s slapfights with Jim Acosta.
The one thing Trump should *never* do is take a civil tone. It’s his secret sauce. Getting squishy and swamplike will doom him like any other GOPe.
Party in power typically loses seats. This time they lost enough to flip the House. It was not a wave and I suspect giving the lunatics the wheel for 2 years will remind everyone why they voted against them so much the preceding 10 years.
Also what Just Say’n said: opposition to Trump amongst the non-crazy segment of the population is strictly a matter of taste, not policy.
Near the very top of their agenda is gun control. *sigh*
Right below repealing the tax cuts. *growl*
2020 ought to be an electoral bloodbath. *crosses fingers*
Eddie Munster went all squishy Mr. nice guy for the Dems and see what happened to him? There’s the answer. You don’t deal with democrats, who are almost across the board, nasty people now, by being nice.
Bravo sir, bravo!
I meant to italics. Sigh…
I got you, bro.
Thank you, you magnificent man.
I missed chiming in earlier, but to the Virginians considering a move. Do not count NC out. While Ohioans, Massholes, and New Yorkers have been coming here since the 80s, not all have been coming to ruin the state with their same politics. The rural populace and the conservative city dwellers have helped to negate the progressives that are moving. Wake County (where Raleigh is) has been getting a huge increase in Asian immigrants over the past decade. They seem to be independent, swinging for one party to the other depending on the issue.
While the state went for Obama in 2008 (a first since 1992), at the state level things have been more right leaning. R’s have controlled the legislature since 2010. When not making gender bathroom laws they’ve been cutting taxes. Yesterday an amendment limiting income tax to 7% or less passed (current tax is 5%). 2016 the chambers were nearly veto proof, now the Rs simply hold a majority. The economy continues to do well here.
/NC Glib recruitment
RDU is very cool
GSO is more my speed: productive, industrial with a grown-up airport without getting too busy or formal
CLT is just a big Tupelo; I’d hafta live in a classier, old urban neighborhood to avoid my cousins and other rednecks
AVL trades business and opportunity for even prettier country, and you can drive to Neyland Stadium in just two hours
LOL.
My brother moved to Apex from Long Island about a decade ago – he’s not one contributing to any proggie politics. (I sort of doubt he even votes).
Personally, I’d suggest one of the worst policy implication of a Supreme Court case was the ban on delays for granting voting rights on moving to a new state. I’d suggest that, at minimum, people should take a period of five years on moving somewhere to figure out the details of the local situation, the reasons the laws are set up the way they are, etc. It’s absurd that people can move somewhere and immediately start dictating to people who have been living there all their life how things should be. And, yes, on principle, I’d include the Free State Project here, although I’d wager a great many would accept temporary disenfranchisement if said disenfranchisement were extended to Boston transplants, as well.
You’ve got so many Ohioians down there that you’re supposed to be getting a Fat Head’s down there. I’ve not been down to your fine state (other then passing through on a family trip some 30 years ago).
Tar Heel fans, though
My brother was informed that, as new residents, they had to pick: Heels or Pack. One of the two. Everybody hates Duke.
No one at Duke is from NC.
No, most Duke students are from NY, NJ, PA. Same as University of Richmond, where most of the students enrolled as a fallback when they were rejected by Duke.
Actual Carolina natives are Heels or Wuffies.
University of New Jersey – Durham Campus.
And Duke fans.
See above. Not many of those in NC, really.
Hey! That is another good reason to move to NC. I’m strongly considering going back.
I was extremely impressed when I visited Asheville. Of course since its a cool town with beautiful views so it’s teaming with progs. *sigh*
After watching Illinois statewide offices (Governor, Attorney General, Secretary of State, and Treasurer) being dominated by the Democrats and a supermajority in the legislature, for the first time ever I thought about moving. The Democrats have had control over this state for nearly forty years and we’ve seen the results. But yet, we elect the same assholes to make shit even worse. There’s no hope here and I’ve come to grips that I can either stay and be fucked or move to a libertyish friendlier place.
We had a discussion about this a while ago and I believe it was Kinnath that pointed out the correct state for the free state project is Wyoming.
Not me. I’ve never lived in Wyoming. I am currently domiciled in Iowa which is a not-terrible place to live (actually, I live here because I choose to live here).
Iowa is God’s country, I’ll grant you that (also, Hungry Hobo is pretty sweet)
The extent of my Iowa knowledge is that I shared a sleeping bag with a girl that went to school at Maharishi U.
I’ve considered northwest Indiana, but it’s difficult to commute to my job downtown
Just an FYI- Illinois is thoroughly fucked at this juncture. I don’t even know if a radical change in politics could save it at this point. Particularly with regards to Chicago Public Schools, which will have to go through a managed bankruptcy if it is to ever stabilize its finances. The system is now surviving off of cash infusions from the State, which the State cannot afford.
We just have to tax the rich who do not have the wherewithal or connections to move to another state.
More seriously. We’re an aging society whose elders did not have enough kids and/or did not die early enough thereby changing the demographics and thereby changing the math on the promises made to them in regard to Social Security, Medicare, and pensions. This will bankrupt us. I’m not a fan of unsecured borders but we should increase the number of legal immigrants to mitigate this. And also FU cut spending. Yes even on grandma.
That logic is working out great for the EU.
The cultural differences are larger in the case of the EU. We’re importing swarthy, Romance language speaking, Catholics. If the Italians can be considered sort of white so will the Mexicans eventually.
“We’re importing swarthy, Romance language speaking, Catholics.”
You wish. Immigrants no longer settle in big cities and IL is no longer a major draw for immigrants (very little manufacturing left). Immigration was the only reason why Chicago saw a slight uptick in its population in 2000. That’s over now
Last night I made a post on FB about how Illinois is virtually an one party state and this brainless partisan acquaintance said that she’s happy about that. I didn’t even respond because what can you say to that? She could care less that this state is going down in flames as long as the assholes in Chicago and Springfield are woke.
TEAM, bitches
And still the Republicans will manage to keep the minorities down through their magic racism power.
So woke that IL and NJ are projected to be the only states to lose population in the next census. Unless, some dramatic demographic shift occurs in the next two years IL is going to lose more electoral votes and a congressional seat.
Fucking MI is growing faster than IL. That should give us pause
They don’t care about the fiscal decimation or the mass exodus of tax cattle. They would rather be King of the Ashes than have any Republican in power.
Your pension system is even more fucked than California’s.
I’m expecting a bummer crop of IOU’s this year.
Typo of the day.
$8 billion in unpaid bills currently
The pension system is a long-term liability. Now the cost eats up 20% of the budget, but even back six years ago when it only represented roughly 5% of total expenditures (because they were not making the full payment) the State still ran a deficit.
The State overspends. They think they’re CA, but without the population growth or the substantial economy.
FL now has a larger GDP and population than IL. And Houston is poised to overtake Chicago as the third largest city in the country after the next census. But, everyone continues to pretend as if everything is just fine.
Here’s a thought experiment: name a major bank based out of Chicago today?
They think they’re CA
They don’t really. It’s just that the public unions control the state and will bleed it dry without any remorse whatsoever. At some point, California will face the same prospects.
I was going to say Wintrust but they are based in Rosemont.
One of the measures that they had on the ballot in my locality is whether the town should institute a new local sales tax. Due to village worker’s pension costs increasing, the village had to divert a lot of their revenue to pay for them. Well yesterday the measure was barely defeated.
The reason why we’re getting fucked is because in the Illinois Constitution, pensions can’t be removed or even altered, so it gives the towns and villages barely any room to make adjustments. In places like Harvey, cities have nearly slashed all of their services because so much of the revenue is being diverted to the pensions. it’s fucked up beyond repair.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/barrington/news/ct-bcr-barrington-sales-tax-referendum-tl-1115-story.html
The only solution is to reduce the number of pensioners.
So, seriously, what happens when some IL locality’s pension obligation gets to be >100% of their budget, and there aren’t enough residents to tax for it anymore? Does it just get added to the state’s tab, or what?
“So, seriously, what happens when some IL locality’s pension obligation gets to be >100% of their budget, and there aren’t enough residents to tax for it anymore? Does it just get added to the state’s tab, or what?”
The State can either bail them out or authorize the local government to seek bankruptcy protection.
The State tried a modest pension reform bill a few years back that the State Supreme Court ruled was unconstitutional. The State’s argument was that it’s inherent police powers allowed it to override the constitutional protections of the state constitution. The Court (which is part of the pension system, but whose pension benefits were specifically not touched in the reform) declared that the State still had options such as increased taxes before it was at a crisis where it could invoke its sovereign police powers.
The State is currently rated at BBB (by S&P), which is the lowest rating category for any state in the union.
NC is on my top 5 list, but I worry that it’s turning blue from the southward moving wave of derp just as California is pushing the west blue. RIP Boise, which used to be on the top of my list.
Everybody hates Duke.
Yep
Eh by the time NC turns blue there will be slim pickings for states. When NC turns blue not just purple I am sure texas will be blue so we’ll be mighty fucked on the federal level
I only have SC and TN on my list right now. I took VA and NC off the list a while ago. VA is already a prog bastion because of NOVA and I have this feeling that Charlotte will soon do the same to NC. Even TX and AZ are starting to turn red. There will soon be nowhere left, they’ll finish ruining the rest of the country and then I’ll just figure, well move to a 3rd world shithole, at least it will be cheaper there.
“While Ohioans, Massholes, and New Yorkers have been coming here since the 80s, not all have been coming to ruin the state with their same politics.”
The ex-Californians will take care of that, no need for anyone else to help out. I hear they’ve already turned Charlotte into a progtopia.
Am currently in Rock Hill SC (from IL) Close to beach without the hurricanes, close to mountains without the snow, low(ish) taxes.
Couldn’t be happier to have escaped.
No open carry, but are working on it.
I was thinking about spending some time in Greenville with wifey to see what it’s like there. I’m just looking for a reason to say fuck it and get out of MD. And that dumbshit Ben Jealous lost and ruing that excuse for me.
I know its been mentioned here before, but I want to reiterate it: MS Teams is a total shitshow. Thank you.
So is SharePoint.
To give an example, I’m attempting to copy 1.5 GB of files from one SharePoint site to another. I’ve been trying for 3 hours now, and through a combination of throttling and corruption of files, Ive gotten one file synced… A 2MB PowerPoint.
LOL been there. I finally gave up and just copied all the files to a share.
What’s your network, some copper wires strung between poles and dixie cups?
Yes. Yes it is.
/feels your pain
I don’t think we are using it for a function it was designed for, in all fairness. But I’d be much happier if the app didn’t bump me back to the bottom for every other alert.
“second round of canapes and peg boys”
[weeps and applauds]
Larry Sharpe got 1.6% in the governor’s race. And Gary Johnson got 15%. Not great.
At least NY got a team L on the ballot.
Considering the quality of some of the candidates I’m not sure that is a good thing?
*bows*
I’m finally in the 1%.
It’s depressing that Sharpe got less votes than Gay Jay.
Well in all seriousness Gay Jay was a former governor of his state.
Anyway the problem is the LP wouldn’t be much more than spoilers for any time soon. Even with weak Republicans the LP aren’t doing so hot.
You are off by about 11.63%
On Sharpe or Johnson?
Johnson. He received 3.27% of the popular vote.
I was speaking of his Senate bid. Unless my sources are wrong…
Don’t forget, he could have run as a liberatianish Republican and walked away with the open Senate seat in 2016.
Instead, he choose to run a terrible campaign under the Libertarian banner for president. I think he has said that he’s not actually interested in winning elections and then having to perform afterward. He just wants to be in the spotlight to spread the message, except he doesn’t actually spread a libertarian message.
I am utterly through with the dude — he is a negative value to the libertarian cause.
he is a negative value to the libertarian cause.
Pretty much the entire establishment leadership class of the libertarian movement is a negative value for the libertarian cause. Just this morning, we were treated to a story about how one of the two biggest “libertarian” think tanks doesn’t even consider itself libertarian anymore. And are they really that different from a lot of the other power centers within libertarianism? Ron Paul has been one of the few genuinely successful libertarian messengers. And the libertarian establishment does everything in its power to distance itself from him.
And the libertarian establishment does everything in its power to distance itself from him.
Oh, if only that were all they were doing to him. They slur his name, do everything possible to tarnish his reputation, call him a racist, etc.
Agreed. The way that the cosmo leadership goes out of its way to smear both Pauls and Rothbard is ridiculous
@JS: I couldn’t agree more. Say what you will about Rand Paul, but the Pauls have done more to bring libertarianism into the mainstream than anyone in the LP, and Rothbard’s take on libertarianism is a bridge to the ideology for the stereotypical “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” types and the remnants of movement conservatism. And what does the LP do? Shit all over them because they’re not woke so they can cozy up to the left, who will never–and I mean never–move towards libertarianism.
I’m starting to adhere to a very simplistic formula – the great divide amongst people who aren’t themselves shrieking progs is between those who think the progs are the cool kids and want to be accepted by them and those who think the progs are deranged scum and want nothing whatsoever to do with them.
It’s clear which side of this divide Libertarian Inc. falls.
They slur his name, do everything possible to tarnish his reputation, call him a racist, etc.
Okay, I may have understated my point, but it still stands.
“Rothbard’s take on libertarianism is a bridge to the ideology for the stereotypical “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” types and the remnants of movement conservatism.”
Not only that, but how can you even possibly begin to purge Rothbard from libertarianism? He had his hand in just about every single libertarian organization (including those that still exist) and his books defined libertarianism at a time when there was no real defined set of principles for people who dissented from the warfare/welfare state. He was literally nicknamed “Mr. Libertarian” (which is also the saddest nickname of all time).
And while Ayn Rand got glowing praise from National Review, Rothbard got pissed on by Buckley in a mean spirited obituary. Rothbard was a bridge to the Old Right (which most early libertarians were loosely affiliated with), but also represented a sharp dissent from the Buckleyite (his words) conservatives.
It’s just bonkers.
There is a reason cocktail parties are an insult….
Shit all over them because they’re not woke so they can cozy up to the left, who will never–and I mean never–move towards libertarianism.
But, it’s not just the Pauls (although they are a great example). I remember enough about the Tea Party movement to remember that a lot of its adherents seemed to be stumbling toward libertarianism. By no means perfectly. But, for every sign talking about “not robbing Social Security”, there was at least one or two people referencing Hayek or Bastiat. A libertarian movement interested in spreading libertarianism would have made a major effort to get the Tea Partiers to connect the final dots. Instead, all you heard about them from the libertarian establishment was sneering contempt for “the yokels”.
This is why I can’t resign myself to the whole “lbiertarianism can never be popular” spiel. Maybe it’s true. But, the failure of a leadership that isn’t all that interested in spreading libertarianism to spread libertarianism is hardly much in the way of evidence.
The OG Tea Party was a real missed opportunity. Here were a bunch of people skeptical of government, markedly in favor of individual liberty, and pushing for a reduced federal government. The LP could’ve made serious headway there but instead they got snapped up by Team Red, in no small part I think because the Republicans were willing to meet them at the 80% of points they agreed on instead of picking at the 20% where they didn’t, like the LP seemed to do.
Never mind. I’d forgotten that loser was running for Senate.
I’d just like to say I have not heard a single ad about politics on pandora. A tremendous improvement.
How do we reconcile open international borders with a distaste for the results of open internal borders?
I am obviously speaking of the “California transplants are turning this state blue” type of this when I speak of “internal borders”
I discuss it above. The problem is the courts imposed an immediate right to vote on anyone moving to a new state. There should be a waiting period (I’d suggest five years) between when you move somewhere and when you can vote there.
Do you have any idea of the history of waiting periods in US history?
I don’t, but I’ll guess it’s related to the blacks. It’s the blacks, isn’t it? It’s the blacks.
I’m assuming Borchettaward called it?
There’s plenty of waiting periods that aren’t misused discriminatorily. If I move to another state, I have to wait a number of years before I claim residency to go to their universities for free or at a discount.
What distaste?
I’m moving to a freer locale as soon as I am legally able. That’s a good thing.
See my 12:52
I knew what you meant when I made my comment.
However quite a few people think that the “freer locale” needs to be more like the “un-free” locale they left.
… and plenty of children born to affluent parents go raging prog. That doesn’t mean I need to reconcile my love of babies and prosperity with my distaste for progs.
Perhaps “distaste” was a bit too strong but what I meant is that internal migration has not worked out the way they wanted.
I mean the idea was that people will move to freer locales, like it there and want that locale to stay that way.
Who did what now?
I clarified that I was speaking of the “California transplants are ruining this state” sort of talk.
Gee Winston, I don’t know…..
How do we reconcile open international borders with a distaste for the results of open internal borders?
Don’t have to; I don’t want open international borders.
Nerds: Where should I get a laptop charger/cord replacement? The one I ordered off Amazon fits and has all the correct claims printed on it, but it doesn’t work. The old one has a continuity problem.
Monoprice.com
Meathead: You sure it’s a problem with the charger/cord and not the port on the laptop? Do you have another laptop that takes the same charger?
The “PWR+” brand on Amazon has worked very well for me, I’ve bought 4 or 5 different models.
Over/Under Occasional Cortex starts campaigning for Bernie to be Speaker of the House?
I don’t put anything past a party that is currently hyping the “Senate popular vote” as a legitimate data point
I imagine the Dems were all about the popular vote in 1985 or 2005…
I know this is supposed to show how stupid she is but apparently nothing in the constitution says the Speaker has to be a member of the House.
And what was her margin of victory.
95%, I believe.
Ah, not that bad – 78%, in a D+29 district.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/york-midterm-election-results/story?id=58392803
vs. the 100% my rep got:
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/massachusetts-midterm-election-results/story?id=58391176
208,000+ people felt the need to vote for someone running unopposed. WTF is wrong with people?
You could live in Philadelphia, where even the Republicans vote for Democrats.
In fairness, any votes for a Republican in Philly are just going to be lost any way.
” He was on a throne he had had erected by trembling interns, boxes of copy paper stacked high into a dais, the legs of a regal old chair they had found in the basement digging into the tops.”
YES!!!!!
All Hail the demented genius of SugarFree!
Excuse me, I’m going to go vomit now.
Ah, sweet, a ray of sunshine that I missed:
Dennis Hof, dead brothel owner, wins his election in Nevada
Hilarious. I hope they appoint Airforce Amy to his seat.
That is the true nugget of wonder in the shitshow. Leave the seat vacant, see if his ghost casts any votes.
If that happens I’ll cry tears of joy.
“Steve jerked when the long fart finally petered out. The shrimp he had stuffed his pockets with fell to the floor one by one.”
SugarFree, you are amazing at showing instead of telling. Just amazing. Thank you!
This midterm reminded me that most self proclaimed “independents” are just people with absolutely no ideological consistency. And that women vote more on emotion than on policy (but we knew that already).
The midterms were essentially a split decision. Republicans actually performed pretty damn good considering that a chimpanzee is the head of their party. For perspective, in 2010 Democrats lost 60 House seats and six senate seats.
Chimpanzee? Are you fucking kidding me with that shit??
He’s obviously an orangutan.
“orange man bad”
No shit, if you’re going to disrespect our president at least give him the correct primate identity.
Um Libertarian moment? They aren’t Republicans and Democrats and Libertarians aren’t Republicans or Democrats either so Independents must be libertarian.
The anti-suffragettes have a happy.
A conversation I had this morning
“I’m not a Republican or a Democrat, I just vote for who I feel like is the most like me. I liked that Beto O’Rourke guy, he seemed cool, played in a band and stuff, I wish he’d have won.”
The intellectual clout of “independants” on display.
Republicans in Texas just elected a guy who can’t even skateboard.
I’m mortified.
Sadly that “cool college dean” shit seems to play with millennial’s. I had hoped that vapid popularity contests stopped after high school. Oh how wrong I was.
My best friend is married to a nice gal that is just completely devoid of logic or rational when it comes to political positions. She could literally be the poster girl for the “easily swayed suburban soccer mom” vote. She made a comment once “I just don’t think it was good that he (Trump) pulled us out of the Paris Accord like that. I mean we’re all in this together”. She lives in a $600,000 house, drives a giant SUV, and is a frequent airline traveler. Climate warrior indeed. Of course, I don’t think she claims to be a climate warrior. It was just “muh feelz”, and the US being int he Paris Agreement somehow made her feel less guilty about herself, I guess.
She lives in one of those districts in Pennsylvania that just switched to the Dems last night. I thought of her when I saw the result, and said to myself “Thanks Cara”.
Virtue signaling is important
I still sort of scratch my head how successful people can be opponents of the system that made them successful to begin with. Then I remember that most people are herd animals. If the prevailing sentiment was that witches need burning they’d be digging their torches and pitchforks out of the garage.
Political expediency? If attacking the system can benefit you then why not?
In some cases but more commonly I think it’s shallow ideology, groupthink, virtue signalling, etc.
So, The Mooch said Trump would end Prohibition after the mid-terms and Sessions is out. Hmmmmmm…..
“My best friend is married to a nice gal that is just completely devoid of logic or rational ”
So, you’re saying she’s a woman?
he seemed cool, played in a band and stuff
Because THAT’S what matter when electing people to the legislature.
matters*, even.
Maybe it’s just a giant cosmic turd?
https://www.mensjournal.com/adventure/oumuamua-cigar-shaped-object-in-space-could-be-alien-spacecraft/
Galactus turd.
Wasn’t that the alternate title of an Fantastic Four Movie?
Might as well have been.
Maybe it’s a giant cosmic Baby Ruth?
Everybody out of the pool!
It’s no big deal! *takes a bite*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
I think it’s whales.
Maybe it’s a fucking rock. I’m a go with that.
How was turnout overall for the midterms? I know for all the talk of there being heavy turnout, my district (OH-1) was actually down about 18% from 2016, and I live in a district the Dems thought was winnable with a smooth talking, good looking brown guy running against an old white dude with a terrible comb-over. Can’t really find reliable number anywhere, but I heard anecdotally that turnout was down about 10% from 2016, which would mean my district had lower than average turnout.
For my rapidly progifying district, turnout was way up over the average midterm. Usually midterms are in the 225-250K range, and there were about 350K votes in this one.
Oh, turnout was definitely high for a midterm. Much higher than in 2014 and 2010. But I was intrigued to find that our supposed swing district was well below the national average in turnout.
Sessions just resigned.
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/jeff-sessions-resigns-as-attorney-general
Sessions is out. Just resigned.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/11/07/trump-says-attorney-general-jeff-sessions-resigns.html
Goodbye Keebler Elf. God’s speed. You’ll be missed by no one.
He got a really nice severance:
http://questgarden.com/22/36/5/060413115905/images/ErnieWMiniChips.jpg
“Pie, don’t eat Jeff’s fudge stripes, goddammit. That’s his golden parachute.”
Pie, don’t eat Jeff’s fudge stripes, goddammit.
That sounds really wrong.
Well……bye
Playa quickest on the draw thanks to his savvy tactic of posting a headline and then posting the link as a reply. Well done sir.
And Trump corrects one of the biggest mistakes he made in his presidency.
Yes, it certainly would be a constitutional crisis to terminate a 2-year-old fishing expedition that has produced bupkis. The Founders would spin in their graves at the very thought of it.
Thank goodness we have people like Senator Schumer out there fighting to protect the constitution.
“Sessions is out. Just resigned.”
IOW, Trump fired him. About time. Democrats hardest hit.
Sessions resigns
Somebody found Slow-Jeff and wrote a resignation letter for him. Robert Mueller hardest hit.
Farewell to one of the worst AGs ever. I wonder who’ll replace him.
Somebody even worse
Are you fat?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Even_Worse
Is that you Chris Christie?
Trump would have been so much better off if he had gone with Christie initially.
Matthew G. Whitaker I’m told
????
Never mind; he’s acting AG
One thing that worries me most about Trump is that he does not really vet and make careful judgement about people. It’s always like that. ‘Oh, he’s the greatest, great guy, it’s gonna be great’, and then a week later ‘get out of here, you bum!’. I’ve been around people like that before. Same sort of recklessness when it comes to people. I used to work for a company who had a CIO like that. We’d try to warn him and say ‘Hey, you know, I’m not too sure about this guy, I don’t get a good feeling…’, and we’d be blown off, every time.
So to recap, Jeff Sessions becomes attorney general, takes a hardline stance on teh drugz but nothing ever really gets done, and the republicans lose his senate seat.
Net loss all around. Good riddance.
On the bright side, they still have the Senate and that’s a guaranteed pick-up in 2020.
What are Doug Jones chances? He doesn’t seem to be trying to “moderate” himself.
If they nominate a relatively normal Republican?
0.001%
*Insert random jab at Alabama here*
Paul Ryan was the first to leave, executing the perfect Irish goodbye, slipping out as the second round of canapes and peg boys were brought in, tears in his eyes as he said farewell to this life of excess and power, a vague idea of mounting a primary challenge in 2020 squirming around in his mind like wad of sick eels.
This is what true writing genius looks like. Bravo!
Okay, misthreaded earlier
So, The Mooch said Trump would end Prohibition after the mid-terms and Sessions is out. Hmmmmmm…..
Pardon my ignorance but who is The Mooch?
Anthony Scaramucci
That’s what I thought right away. “half right so far…”
If he does it now, the D’s will take the credit. I already saw a commenter on DU this morning taking credit for the passsage of Michigan’s MJ legalization ballot issue as “a huge liberal win”.
Not that I personally would object. More liberty is more liberty.
I found it hugely amusing that the D’s did victory laps when legal pot passed here; they didn’t look at the data and see that only two counties who voted for Romney voted against it. Every other Romney county voted in favor.
Well to be fair to the D’s, they have been championing this cause since….. hmmmmm. Wait, we’re talking about free abortions, right?
Idk. Trump could de-schedule it and troll Barry on twitter about how he didn’t address it when he had the authority/power to.
I don’t know how much Donny could troll Obama considering he has waited 2 years and counting to do it. Of course, he never usually lets little details like that get in the way of his trolling, either.
Obama didn’t do anything for 8 years. If Trump wants to really troll the Dems, there is nothing he could do better than de-schedule cannabis.
I can see it now, 24/7 on CNN and article after article from NYT:
“Trump legalizes dangerous drugs! Women, children, and minorities hardest hit! We have to immediately declare Trump not mentally competent to be president. Before more people die!”.
No, they won’t. Trump legalizing cannabis at the federal level is his secret nuclear weapon. The dems true kryptonite. They’ll spontaneaously turn into rabid drug warriors and make Sessions their new hero.
I hope he does it just because he should do it, but man, watching the Dems lose their minds will be some delicious icing on the cake.
If the stupid party would just stick to economic issues and stop with the socon social suicide stances, they’d do a much better job at keeping the progtards at bay. That’s the thing that people hate about Republicans. The true socialist progs are a very small minority. Republicans lose because they’re too socon still.
I didn’t know there was such a thing as a vore fetish.